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1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,006
[marching band plays]
2
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:14,014
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,770
Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,733
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,577
[laughter]
6
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,163
Hey, here's another one!
Guess who this is. Ahem!
7
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,623
"For it was Mary, Mary,
8
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:43,210
sweet, hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm,
as any name could be.
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00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,922
Cause you're the guy that gave it to my
brother in the back. Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm!"
10
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,549
- [laughter]
- A-ha!
11
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,802
Hey, that's great, Duke!
Betty Grable, right?
12
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,804
You're makin' a joke, ain't you, Frankie?
13
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,265
That was Humphrey Bogart, wasn't it, Duke?
14
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,392
It was Jimmy Cagney, Gomer.
15
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,811
Well, that was my second choice.
16
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:04,439
Here's another one. Guess who this one is,
Gomer. [clears throat]
17
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,732
[laughter]
18
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,110
"Gol-I-I-I-ly!
19
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:11,863
Hey, Sergeant Carter. Sergeant, you're
the best sergeant a marine ever had.
20
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:15,617
Why, you're just like a mama to us.
So thank ya, thank ya, thank ya!"
21
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,035
Shazam!
22
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:20,622
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! "Shazam!"
23
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,625
Gosh, Duke! You ought to be on the stage.
You really should.
24
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,669
Doggone, how you do all them things!
25
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:30,465
Here's another one. This ought to be
very close to your heart, Gomer. Ahem!
26
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,385
"All right, Pyle, you lamebrain,
you nitwit, you knucklehead!
27
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:37,014
When I give you an order,
I give you an order!
28
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:40,183
Now, you lift that bulldozer and carry it
back to the motor pool! You hear me?
29
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:44,896
Move it! Move it! Move it!
I can't HEAR you!"
30
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[cheering]
31
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:49,318
Hey, that's wonderful, Duke.
Do some more. Do me again.
32
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,653
All right. No, no, I got a better one.
T-This is good.
33
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,488
A guy walks in and...
34
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Oh, h-hi, Sarge.
35
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,909
Hey, Sergeant! Duke was just doin'...
36
00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,745
Knock it off!
37
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:02,372
What is this, a ladies' garden party?
38
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,874
Do you realize what time it is?
39
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:07,544
You people were supposed to be
in formation at ten o'clock sharp!
40
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,880
You do know what ten o'clock looks like?
41
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:14,301
The little hand is on the ten
and the big hand is on the 12!
42
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,512
All right, let's go!
Move it! Move it! Move it!
43
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,308
What are you looking at, Pyle?
44
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,686
Golly, Sergeant! I just can't get over it!
45
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,356
- Get over what?
- How much you sound like Duke.
46
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,858
- Why, he...
- I don't know what you're talking about
47
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,401
and I don't care!
48
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,821
I just want you out on that street,
and I mean now!
49
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,659
Gomer, are you outta your head,
telling Carter about Duke?
50
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,369
Why? What's wrong with that?
51
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,746
Oh, come on, Gomer,
if he knew I was imitating him...
52
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,374
- Why, he'd be flattered.
- Flattered?
53
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:48,126
Why, yes. Why not? Anybody would.
54
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,295
Grandma Pyle used to always say,
55
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"Imitation is the sincerest form
of flattery."
56
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Well, Grandma Pyle isn't in our platoon.
57
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,803
Come on, let's go.
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"Move it! Move it! Move it!"
59
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,683
Doggone, how you do that?!
60
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,018
[horns beep]
61
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,770
Wait a minute. Stop. No more walking.
62
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:10,023
Where are we going? What are we gonna do?
I don't wanna walk the streets all night.
63
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,401
- How about a movie? There's a...
- No!
64
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,987
- Frankie, you don't even know what it is!
- It's a Godzilla movie, right?
65
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- Right! How'd you know?
- Every week there's a Godzilla movie.
66
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,034
That guy must've made more movies
than Doris Day!
67
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:25,038
- This one's about a teenage Godzilla.
- Forget it, Gomer.
68
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:29,000
- Well, what will we do, then?
- The Tall Girls Club's having a dance.
69
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,088
Oh, no, forget it! The last time I went to
one of their dances, I got a stiff neck.
70
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,632
Ah, let's keep walking.
We'll think of something.
71
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,344
Hey, what's this?
72
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,722
"Entertainment. Entertainment.
Entertainment.
73
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,099
Tonight Only. Opportunity Night.
74
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,935
Acts Galore.
A dollar and a half minimum.
75
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,396
Come in and have a ball."
How about that?
76
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:52,023
Boy, if there's anything I hate,
it's those corny amateur shows.
77
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,609
Come on, Duke, we'll get a few laughs.
It's better than Godzilla.
78
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:58,113
I like shows like that. Maybe they got
somebody that plays the spoons.
79
00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,614
Did you ever see anybody do that?
80
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:03,618
- Come on, Duke. There's nothing else.
- Ah, might as well.
81
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:06,037
[jazz pop music]
82
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,771
[applause]
83
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,647
Get that! Ain't she limber?
84
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,066
I bet she can scratch behind her ear
with her foot.
85
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,568
That's probably her next trick.
86
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,779
[drumroll]
87
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,952
[coughs]
88
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,958
[drumroll continues]
89
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:57,881
[musical fanfare]
90
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,091
How about that, folks? Wasn't she great?
91
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,010
Wonderful! Wonderful! Thank you very much.
92
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,012
Little Alice Birkenfeld,
ladies and gentlemen.
93
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,014
Boy, oh, boy, what a trooper!
94
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,892
By the way, friends,
Alice didn't want me to tell you this,
95
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,771
but she came out here
with a temperature of over 101!
96
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,481
I knew there was something wrong with her.
97
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,941
Friends, I have a real treat for you.
98
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:19,736
Here's a gentleman who really doesn't
belong on an amateur program,
99
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,322
because as far as I'm concerned
he's a real professional,
100
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,865
right down to his fingertips.
101
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,160
And now, without further ado,
won't you help me at this time
102
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,498
for a real grand Jade Club reception
for Mr. Seymour Fareeki!
103
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,958
And here is Seymour!
104
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:35,335
- Glad to see you, Seymour!
- [applause]
105
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,463
Here you go. All right, Seymour.
106
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,259
[Seymour plays jolly tune]
107
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:51,434
You know somethin', Duke? You ought to go
up there. You're as good as any of them.
108
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,144
- Huh?
- He's right.
109
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,314
- Duke, you'd win that contest, hands down.
- Oh, come on!
110
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,818
You would, too, Duke. Little Alice
was good, but I think you're better.
111
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,820
Go up on that stage
and do your imitations.
112
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,030
- Quit it, will ya?
- You really should!
113
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,907
Try it, Duke. What have you got to lose?
114
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,993
I don't even have an act!
115
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,287
Do your imitations.
116
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:13,123
I don't know!
117
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,546
- [cymbal clangs]
- How about it for Seymour, huh?
118
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Wonderful, Seymour!
Tremendous job! Thank you very, very much.
119
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Boy, oh, boy! Wasn't he wonderful?
120
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,305
Well, friends,
that just about winds up our show.
121
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,182
Unless, of course, we have
some other talented amateur out there
122
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who would like to come up on stage
and show us what they can do.
123
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,104
How about it, folks?
Anybody else out there?
124
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,356
Remember, there's a $25 prize.
125
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Besides that, the winner gets the chance
126
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to come back to appear in our regular show
tomorrow night.
127
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,072
Duke, that 25 bucks
is practically in your pocket.
128
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,116
- Nah!
- It sure is! Sir!
129
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,036
Sir! There's somebody right here
who'd like to come up and try.
130
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,120
No!
131
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,998
How about that, ladies and gentlemen?
We've got a shy marine!
132
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Let's get him up on stage, folks!
Come on, help him!
133
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,712
Come on, buddy. There we go! Come on,
folks, help him up here, would ya?
134
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,214
Come right over here, young fella!
Come right up on the stage.
135
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,592
There we go. Come on up here. Come on!
There you go!
136
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,136
Glad to see you, friend.
Nothing to be afraid of.
137
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,597
We're all friends out here.
It's a wonderful audience!
138
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,141
Do you mind telling me what your name is
and what you do?
139
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,810
- Well, uh, my name is Duke Slater.
- Mm.
140
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,855
- I-I do impressions.
- What? What, what?
141
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,650
A-ha! This young fellow does impressions,
ladies and gentlemen!
142
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,652
Wonderful!
There's a great audience out there.
143
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,404
There's your microphone.
You're on your own. Good luck, buddy!
144
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,824
Thank you. Ahem!
145
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:34,204
Well, thank you. Um, honestly, folks,
I-I don't really, uh, sing or dance,
146
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,665
and I don't have anything prepared.
147
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:39,459
It's just that, uh, well, the other day,
148
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,545
I was, uh, fooling around in the barracks,
doing a couple of impressions,
149
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,882
and my good buddies over there
seem to think I'm pretty good at it,
150
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,718
so, uh, well, here I am.
151
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:49,928
Darn it!
152
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,430
As you can see, I'm a marine.
153
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:56,851
I was sentenced...
I-I mean, I joined for four years!
154
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,270
I love the marines,
and one nice thing about it,
155
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,107
you get to meet a lot of nice guys.
156
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:06,736
Like my good buddy over there, Gomer Pyle.
157
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,613
Gomer Pyle... Ahem.
158
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,368
"Gol-I-I-I-y!
159
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:17,747
Hey, everybody, it's me - Gomer.
Surprise, surprise, surprise!
160
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,208
Y'all wanna meet my sergeant? Shazam!"
161
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,751
[applause]
162
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,587
That's another one - Sergeant Carter.
163
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,881
- We call him King Kong.
- [laughter]
164
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,593
I'll never forget the first time
I met him. It was in basic training.
165
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,804
I was sleeping peacefully in the barracks,
166
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,931
it was pitch-dark,
the middle of the night,
167
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:39,227
and all of a sudden,
this soft, gentle voice came to us.
168
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:44,024
"All right, you nitwits,
you lamebrains, you knuckleheads!
169
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,359
Rise and shine! Up and at 'em!
170
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:52,032
Let's go!
Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it!"
171
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,534
I don't know what Sergeant Carter did
before the marines,
172
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,536
but I suspect
he worked for Advantage Storage
173
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,288
because that's his favorite expression -
174
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,498
"Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it!"
175
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,376
- Hey! He's a funny guy.
- Yeah!
176
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,878
He's got Carter down cold.
177
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,172
It's too bad Carter's not here.
He'd split a gut.
178
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,506
Or that guy Slater's head!
179
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:12,177
...and there was my sergeant,
underneath the whole mess, yelling,
180
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:16,681
"I'll get you for this, you lamebrains,
you nitwits, you knuckleheads!
181
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:20,185
Out, out, out, out, out! OUT!"
182
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,605
- [applause]
- Let's hear it for Private Duke Slater!
183
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,648
[whistling]
184
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,192
Great job, old buddy.
185
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,402
Don't go away.
Stand right over there, if you please.
186
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,946
Now, friends, this is it,
the moment of truth.
187
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:36,076
Now we're going to find out
who wins our $25 cash prize.
188
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,453
Would you contestants
kindly come up on the stage, please?
189
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:41,372
- "Move it! Move it! Move it!"
- [laughter]
190
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:44,709
Now, first of all,
our first contestant was George Toomey,
191
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,212
- who played the spoons.
- [light applause]
192
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,839
- Aw, I missed it!
- Good.
193
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:54,052
- Seymour Fareeki...
- [light applause]
194
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,890
- Little Alice Birkenfeld...
- [light applause]
195
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,772
- Private Duke Slater...
- Yay!
196
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,900
[cheering]
197
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,069
The winner is Private Duke Slater.
198
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,905
He won! He won! I knew he'd win!
199
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:17,867
I am sorry for little Alice, though.
I hope she gets over her cold.
200
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,661
Private Slater,
201
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:23,748
it gives me a great deal of pleasure
to present you with this check, $25,
202
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,250
and also an invitation to come back
203
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,252
to appear in our regular show
tomorrow night.
204
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,295
- Gee, thanks a lot.
- My pleasure.
205
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,632
- More! More! Come on, Duke!
- Do some more!
206
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,259
I guess they wanna hear more.
207
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,804
- You wanna hear more about my sergeant?
- [crowd] More! More!
208
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,347
There you go!
209
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,015
Well, okay!
210
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:44,185
I never really did describe him to you,
did I?
211
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:47,939
Well, uh, picture a very ugly bulldog.
212
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,900
- [laughter]
- Well, he's... he's not quite that cute!
213
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:54,362
Too bad Carter missed this.
He'd have enjoyed it.
214
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,281
I'll bet!
215
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,741
He still can tomorrow night.
216
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,535
Are you gonna tell him?
217
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:02,871
- Why not?
- Ohh!
218
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:05,790
[men laugh]
219
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,625
Sergeant Carter reporting,
as ordered, sir.
220
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,794
At ease, Sergeant.
221
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,214
As you know, every six months, the base
rates its noncommissioned officers
222
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,592
and the current ratings
have just come out.
223
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:19,179
I thought you'd like to know who
the top-rated sergeant on this base is.
224
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,847
Sir?
225
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,557
"For outstanding leadership,
226
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,351
for earning the respect and confidence
of his men,
227
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,687
Sergeant Vincent Carter."
228
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,398
Well, that's very nice, sir.
229
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,442
There'll be a formal presentation
next week,
230
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,069
but I thought you'd like
a little advanced word on this.
231
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,488
Well, yes. Thank you, sir.
232
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,116
- It's a great honor.
- Congratulations, Sergeant.
233
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,786
As far as I'm concerned, I think
the committee picked the right man.
234
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:44,996
Thank you, sir.
235
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,414
Good afternoon, Sergeant.
236
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,124
Good afternoon, sir!
237
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,715
[Carter] Yahoooo!
238
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,011
Hey, hiya, guys!
239
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,554
- Hey, Vince!
- How are you, Vince?
240
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,307
Well, well, well...
McCluskey, Lonigan and Shapiro -
241
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,517
Winkin', Blinkin' and Nod!
242
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,312
- We were just coming down to see you.
- We wanted to tell you something.
243
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,315
Yeah, well, hold it, boys,
cause I got something to tell you first.
244
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,942
How are your hearts? All in good shape?
245
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:17,028
- Can they take a little bit of a jolt?
- [all] Sure! Yeah!
246
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,864
Well, you know the semiannual NCO Awards?
247
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,075
- Guess who won?
- You?
248
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:25,328
Well, not you, not you and not you!
249
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,957
That's really great, Vince.
Who did you have to buy off to get it?
250
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,542
Hey, wait a minute. You guys said
you had something to tell me.
251
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,753
Oh, it wasn't too much, Vince, except...
252
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,381
The boys and I saw this great comic
down at the Jade Club.
253
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,174
We thought you might get a kick outta him.
254
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,425
Yeah?
255
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,719
Yeah. With your sense of humor,
you'll really enjoy it.
256
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,888
The Jade Club, huh?
257
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,391
Well, by rights,
I oughta do a little celebrating tonight.
258
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,559
Maybe I'll do my celebrating right there!
259
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,854
Good idea. It's just the thing
an award-winning sergeant would enjoy.
260
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,065
- Right, boys?
- Right! Right!
261
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:57,610
Well, so long, losers.
I gotta go see my men.
262
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,987
They just love me!
263
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,572
- Don't forget the Jade Club.
- [chuckles] Yeah!
264
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:11,416
Boyle, you know someday
you're gonna be a sergeant,
265
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,835
so you might as well know the secret.
266
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:17,171
I'm tough, all right, I'm plenty tough,
but I'm fair.
267
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,550
I'm tough and I'm fair
and I'm understanding.
268
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:25,513
- And you're modest.
- Right. That's why my men love me.
269
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:28,975
- Afternoon, Sergeant Carter!
- Oh, Pyle.
270
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,145
Well, even you can't spoil my day, Pyle.
Come in, come in.
271
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,148
- What can I do for you?
- You sure seem in a good mood, Sergeant!
272
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,608
- Tell him, Boyle.
- You want me to?
273
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:41,112
- Sure, tell him!
- Well, it isn't out for publication yet,
274
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:44,991
but your sergeant here was just given
the semiannual sergeant's award -
275
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,285
rated the best sergeant on this base.
276
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:50,330
No! You don't mean it!
277
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,207
Well, for gosh sakes,
what do you think about that?
278
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,918
That's right, Pyle.
For outstanding leadership
279
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,212
and for earning the respect and confidence
of my men.
280
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,548
Well, for gosh sakes!
281
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,842
I can't tell you how happy I am, Sergeant.
282
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,887
Congratulations, congratulations,
congratulations!
283
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:09,640
Enough, Pyle. Now, what's on your mind?
284
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,643
I just wanted to know if
you were doin' anything special tonight?
285
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,187
Tonight?
286
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,189
Ah, I've already been spoken for.
287
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,983
You should've asked me sooner! [laughs]
288
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,487
That's funny, Sergeant. You know,
you've sure got a good sense of humor.
289
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,572
Yeah. Everybody says that.
290
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,074
What I wanted to say, though,
291
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,493
is that if you're not doin' anything
special tonight,
292
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,453
you ought to go down to the Jade Club.
293
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:33,373
You see, last night
they had this opportunity contest
294
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,834
and Duke won first prize
and he's gonna be there again tonight.
295
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,879
And, Sergeant Carter, he's the
funniest comedian you've ever seen.
296
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:44,550
- Duke? Slater?
- Yeah, and he's funny, funny, funny!
297
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,387
Somebody else was telling me
about a comic down at the Jade Club,
298
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,389
- but I didn't know it was Slater.
- Well, it is,
299
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,557
and he is funny, funny, funny!
300
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,434
Yeah, you told me.
301
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,186
Well, I might just drop down there.
302
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,981
Well, you'll sure be thrilled, Sergeant,
cause he is funny, funny, fu...
303
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,525
You said that, Pyle!
304
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:04,153
Listen, I won't tell Duke you're comin'.
I'll just let it all be a big surprise.
305
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,698
Well, okay. All right, Pyle.
Maybe I'll drop down there.
306
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,411
Good, Sergeant. And, Sergeant,
best wishes on your award again.
307
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,914
Congratulations, congratulations,
congratulations!
308
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,916
[Carter laughs]
309
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,418
- Sarge...
- Yeah?
310
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,586
You know there's a buck 50 minimum
at the Jade Club.
311
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:25,883
So? This is no night to count pennies!
This is a night to howl. What's a buck 50?
312
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,345
- Is that a person or a couple?
- Per person, Sarge.
313
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,265
Ah, so what? This is a night to celebrate!
314
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,934
I'll pick up Bunny.
We'll have dinner and drinks
315
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,311
and some of that Napa Valley champagne.
316
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,648
Don't worry,
we'll get our three dollars' worth!
317
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,567
[door buzzer]
318
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,363
- Hi, Vince.
- Hiya, Bun.
319
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,241
Hey, uh, what are you doing in slacks?
320
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:53,077
What do you mean,
"What am I doing in slacks?"
321
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:56,456
I always tear my stockings on those stools
down at Hamburger Pete's,
322
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,417
and, well, it gets pretty cold
at the beach, you know?
323
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,587
Beach? What beach?
We're not going to Hamburger Pete's.
324
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,798
But I'm hungry and you promised me dinner,
Vince!
325
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,259
And those sandwiches are only 30 cents.
I don't see why...
326
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:13,097
Wait a minute, baby! I know that's what
we usually do, but tonight is different.
327
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:16,058
Tonight is special.
Tonight we're really gonna go big.
328
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,894
Yeah? Where?
329
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,062
We are going to the Jade Club.
330
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,356
The Jade Club?
Well, that's a dollar minimum!
331
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:26,235
What are you talking about, a dollar?
It's a dollar and a half!
332
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:30,239
That's okay, baby, because little Vince
has got something to celebrate tonight!
333
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,450
Oh, yeah? What is it?
334
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:36,746
Well, sweetheart, you are looking at
the top-rated sergeant on the entire base!
335
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,290
The NCO Awards came out today
and guess who won!
336
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,334
- Oh, Vince!
- [laughs]
337
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,504
Oh, that's wonderful!
I'm real happy for you!
338
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:48,341
Yeah! So dress to the hilt, baby,
because we're really gonna swing tonight!
339
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,801
Oh, Vince, I'm so happy and proud of you!
340
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:54,013
Even if we did have hamburgers tonight,
I'd still be thrilled.
341
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,181
Yeah?
342
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,266
Maybe we oughta just have hamburgers
tonight!
343
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,768
Ah! Come on!
344
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,437
Come on, baby, move it,
we don't wanna miss the show!
345
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,440
We're gonna have fun, fun, fun!
346
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,026
[exotic music plays]
347
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,868
Gomer, why do you keep looking out there?
Are you expecting someone?
348
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,704
As a matter of fact, I am.
I got a big surprise for Duke.
349
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:19,956
Yeah? What?
350
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,124
Well, I invited Sergeant Carter
to come down.
351
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,127
You what?! Gomer, you didn't?
352
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,004
Yes, I did, and he said he'd come.
353
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,423
- Why, what's wrong, Frankie?
- What's wrong, Gomer?
354
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,925
Why, he'll blow his top!
355
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,177
Sergeant Carter? Why would he do that?
356
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,138
Oh, Gomer, because Duke is doing
that imitation of him!
357
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,015
Well, that's the reason
I invited him down.
358
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,101
Oh, boy, Gomer, you really...
359
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,271
I gotta warn him. He's going on next.
360
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:47,149
- Warn him about what?
- Oh, Gomer, don't you understand?
361
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,694
[music ends]
362
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:52,738
All right, let's hear it for Mavis Pearl!
363
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,117
Oh, no. It's too late.
364
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,703
- He isn't here. Maybe he'll miss him.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
365
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,997
I still don't know why that upsets you
so much!
366
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,165
- Shut up, Gomer.
- Last night on Amateur Night,
367
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,793
we discovered a very funny,
funny comedian,
368
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,628
so we've asked him to come back
this evening
369
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,297
to appear for you ladies and gentlemen.
370
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:13,259
So won't you help me at this time
with a real solid Jade Club reception
371
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,095
- for Private Duke Slater.
- [applause]
372
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,223
[musical fanfare]
373
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:21,017
Welcome, Private Slater.
374
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:24,186
Hey, we're just in time.
They're introducing him now.
375
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,063
Ooh, good!
376
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:28,649
[Duke] Gosh,
I never knew I had so many relatives!
377
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,985
Oh, no! It's Carter!
378
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,654
- This is it! This is the end!
- [Duke] Well, thank you very much.
379
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:38,117
Uh, last night, I told the folks
about some of the fellas in my platoon
380
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,036
and it seemed to go over pretty well,
381
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,289
so I thought I might as well
do the same thing tonight.
382
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,374
- That is, if you want me to?
- [applause]
383
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:48,502
Hey, this oughta be pretty good.
384
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,255
Okay, well, first of all,
385
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,424
there's my good buddy, Gomer Pyle.
386
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,134
Gomer Pyle...
387
00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,348
"Gol-I-I-I-ly!
388
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,643
Heck's sakes and Shazam!"
389
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,187
Hey, this is great!
He's got Pyle down to a T!
390
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,897
Isn't it great, huh?
391
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,566
And then there's our sweet,
gentle sergeant,
392
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,860
with his soft, tender little voice,
393
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:16,155
who wakes us up in the morning
with the voice of a nightingale.
394
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,115
Hey, Vince, he's gonna do you!
395
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,493
Yeah.
396
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,620
"All right, you nitwits!
397
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:27,541
Move it! Move it! Move it! MOVE IT!
398
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:30,753
You're not civilians now, you're marines!
399
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:34,882
M-A-R-U...
400
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:38,719
M-A-R-E...
401
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,137
Marines!
402
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,598
Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it!"
403
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,893
See, Gomer? Look at him. Look at him!
Does he look like he's enjoying it?
404
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:49,522
- What is this? Is this his act?
- [Duke] And you know,
405
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,566
the sarge has this terrible problem
with his ears.
406
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:56,779
Every time he gives us an order,
we usually say, "Yes, Sergeant?"
407
00:19:56,779 --> 00:20:00,825
And he says, "I can't HEAR you!"
408
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,244
And we say, "Yes, Sergeant?"
409
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:07,039
And he says, "I can't HEAR you!"
410
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,458
And we say, "Yes, Sergeant?!"
411
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:15,506
And he still says, "I can't HEAR you!"
412
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,467
I think his mother forgot to take off
his earmuffs!
413
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,721
- No good...
- Come on, Vince. He's just kidding.
414
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,931
The people think he's funny.
415
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,808
Yeah, well, I don't.
416
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,768
Come on, let's get out of here.
417
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,353
Now look! He's leaving!
418
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:32,148
- We gotta do somethin'.
- Like what?
419
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,066
Well, I don't know,
but we gotta do somethin'.
420
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,486
And this is the way Sergeant Carter
counts cadence.
421
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:41,323
[Duke bellows]
422
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,284
Gomer, what are you doing? I'm on, I'm on!
423
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:46,620
- What are you doing?
- Sorry, but there's somethin' I gotta say.
424
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,956
Excuse me for interruptin', folks,
425
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:52,126
- but my name's Gomer Pyle and...
- [applause]
426
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:56,130
Look at that! Now the two of 'em
are gonna team up. Come on.
427
00:20:56,130 --> 00:21:00,092
I want y'all to know how pleased I was
at the way Duke here was imitatin' me,
428
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,720
and there's another feller here
that Duke took off on.
429
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,222
And I wouldn't want him to get out of here
before you meet him.
430
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,974
That feller is Sergeant Carter
431
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,269
- and he's standin' right by the door.
- [applause]
432
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:14,106
In addition to being a good sergeant,
he's also a real good sport.
433
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,860
Cause all the time that y'all was laughing
at the way Duke here was imitating him,
434
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,197
there wasn't nobody enjoying it
any more than Sergeant Carter hisself.
435
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,948
He's got a wonderful sense of humor.
436
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:27,203
- [applause]
- Look, Vince, they're clapping for you!
437
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,705
Something else I want y'all to know
about Sergeant Carter,
438
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:32,374
he's one of the best sergeants
on our base.
439
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,878
As a matter of fact, he won an award
just today for that very reason -
440
00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:37,922
being the best sergeant on our base.
441
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:41,383
Wouldn't y'all like to meet this feller
who knows how to take a joke on hisself?
442
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:45,054
- [man] Come on up here!
- [applause]
443
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,306
Go on, Vince! They're calling for you!
444
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,141
Go on! Come on!
445
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,602
[band plays "marine's hymn"]
446
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,687
[MC] Come on, what an audience!
447
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:56,440
Is this an audience? Wonderful, wonderful!
448
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,859
Come on up here, Sergeant. Come on up!
449
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,695
Glad to see you, Sergeant.
Wonderful! Wonderful!
450
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,073
Yes, indeed! Thank you.
451
00:22:04,073 --> 00:22:06,116
Welcome to the Jade Club, Sergeant Carter.
452
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,702
Would you mind saying a few words for us,
please?
453
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,705
Well, uh...
454
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,583
Uh, you know, uh...
455
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:18,128
Yeah, Private Slater's pretty good,
but, uh,
456
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:20,256
well, he really doesn't do me right.
457
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:24,635
I mean, when I say,
"Move it, move it, move it,"
458
00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:27,221
well, I mean "Move it! Move it! Move it!"
459
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,223
[laughter]
460
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,517
- Right?
- [all] Right!
461
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,727
I can't HEAR you!
462
00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:36,772
- [all] Right!
- I can't HEAR you!
463
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,482
[all] Right!
464
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,986
- I can't HEAR you!
- [all] Right!
465
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:46,323
- [applause]
- I can't hear you!
466
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,663
Well, that sort of winds up our show.
467
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:55,916
Before we do, I was just wondering,
Sergeant Carter, what about you,
468
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,544
is there anything you can do for us?
Do you have any hidden talent?
469
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,963
Oh, no, no. I can't do anything.
470
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:04,300
Why don't you sing a song, Sergeant?
He's got a real fine voice.
471
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,135
Really? Is that true, Sergeant?
472
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,344
No, not really.
473
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,388
Come on. How about a song?
474
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:12,224
- Well...
- Come on, old buddy, what will it be?
475
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,059
Well, does the band know
For Me and My Gal?
476
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,812
Of course they know For Me and My Gal.
Hit it, fellas.
477
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,565
[piano introduction]
478
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:23,903
[sings off-key] ♪ The bells are ringing
479
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:28,032
♪ For me and my gal
480
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:31,660
♪ The birds are singing
481
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:35,998
♪ For me and my gal
482
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:40,502
♪ Everybody's been knowing
483
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:44,548
♪ To a weddin' they're going
484
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:48,594
♪ And for weeks they've been sewing
485
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:52,681
♪ Every Susie and Sa-a-al
486
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:56,685
♪ They're congregating
487
00:23:56,685 --> 00:24:00,689
♪ For me and my gal
488
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:04,652
♪ The parson's waiting
489
00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:08,614
♪ For me and my gal
490
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,532
♪ And someday
491
00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:13,661
♪ We're gonna build a little home ♪
40158
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