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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,006 [marching band plays] 2 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:14,014 [male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC. 3 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,770 Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle. 4 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,733 Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter. 5 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,577 [laughter] 6 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,163 Hey, here's another one! Guess who this is. Ahem! 7 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,623 "For it was Mary, Mary, 8 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:43,210 sweet, hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm, as any name could be. 9 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,922 Cause you're the guy that gave it to my brother in the back. Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm!" 10 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,549 - [laughter] - A-ha! 11 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,802 Hey, that's great, Duke! Betty Grable, right? 12 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,804 You're makin' a joke, ain't you, Frankie? 13 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,265 That was Humphrey Bogart, wasn't it, Duke? 14 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,392 It was Jimmy Cagney, Gomer. 15 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,811 Well, that was my second choice. 16 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:04,439 Here's another one. Guess who this one is, Gomer. [clears throat] 17 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,732 [laughter] 18 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,110 "Gol-I-I-I-ly! 19 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:11,863 Hey, Sergeant Carter. Sergeant, you're the best sergeant a marine ever had. 20 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:15,617 Why, you're just like a mama to us. So thank ya, thank ya, thank ya!" 21 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,035 Shazam! 22 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:20,622 Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! "Shazam!" 23 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,625 Gosh, Duke! You ought to be on the stage. You really should. 24 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,669 Doggone, how you do all them things! 25 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:30,465 Here's another one. This ought to be very close to your heart, Gomer. Ahem! 26 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,385 "All right, Pyle, you lamebrain, you nitwit, you knucklehead! 27 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:37,014 When I give you an order, I give you an order! 28 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:40,183 Now, you lift that bulldozer and carry it back to the motor pool! You hear me? 29 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:44,896 Move it! Move it! Move it! I can't HEAR you!" 30 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,398 [cheering] 31 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:49,318 Hey, that's wonderful, Duke. Do some more. Do me again. 32 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,653 All right. No, no, I got a better one. T-This is good. 33 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,488 A guy walks in and... 34 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,991 Oh, h-hi, Sarge. 35 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,909 Hey, Sergeant! Duke was just doin'... 36 00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,745 Knock it off! 37 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:02,372 What is this, a ladies' garden party? 38 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,874 Do you realize what time it is? 39 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:07,544 You people were supposed to be in formation at ten o'clock sharp! 40 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,880 You do know what ten o'clock looks like? 41 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:14,301 The little hand is on the ten and the big hand is on the 12! 42 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,512 All right, let's go! Move it! Move it! Move it! 43 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,308 What are you looking at, Pyle? 44 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,686 Golly, Sergeant! I just can't get over it! 45 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,356 - Get over what? - How much you sound like Duke. 46 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,858 - Why, he... - I don't know what you're talking about 47 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,401 and I don't care! 48 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,821 I just want you out on that street, and I mean now! 49 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,659 Gomer, are you outta your head, telling Carter about Duke? 50 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,369 Why? What's wrong with that? 51 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,746 Oh, come on, Gomer, if he knew I was imitating him... 52 00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,374 - Why, he'd be flattered. - Flattered? 53 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:48,126 Why, yes. Why not? Anybody would. 54 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,295 Grandma Pyle used to always say, 55 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,673 "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." 56 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,842 Well, Grandma Pyle isn't in our platoon. 57 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,803 Come on, let's go. 58 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,888 "Move it! Move it! Move it!" 59 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,683 Doggone, how you do that?! 60 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,018 [horns beep] 61 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,770 Wait a minute. Stop. No more walking. 62 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:10,023 Where are we going? What are we gonna do? I don't wanna walk the streets all night. 63 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,401 - How about a movie? There's a... - No! 64 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,987 - Frankie, you don't even know what it is! - It's a Godzilla movie, right? 65 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,782 - Right! How'd you know? - Every week there's a Godzilla movie. 66 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,034 That guy must've made more movies than Doris Day! 67 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:25,038 - This one's about a teenage Godzilla. - Forget it, Gomer. 68 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:29,000 - Well, what will we do, then? - The Tall Girls Club's having a dance. 69 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,088 Oh, no, forget it! The last time I went to one of their dances, I got a stiff neck. 70 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,632 Ah, let's keep walking. We'll think of something. 71 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,344 Hey, what's this? 72 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,722 "Entertainment. Entertainment. Entertainment. 73 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,099 Tonight Only. Opportunity Night. 74 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,935 Acts Galore. A dollar and a half minimum. 75 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,396 Come in and have a ball." How about that? 76 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:52,023 Boy, if there's anything I hate, it's those corny amateur shows. 77 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,609 Come on, Duke, we'll get a few laughs. It's better than Godzilla. 78 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:58,113 I like shows like that. Maybe they got somebody that plays the spoons. 79 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,614 Did you ever see anybody do that? 80 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:03,618 - Come on, Duke. There's nothing else. - Ah, might as well. 81 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:06,037 [jazz pop music] 82 00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,771 [applause] 83 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,647 Get that! Ain't she limber? 84 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,066 I bet she can scratch behind her ear with her foot. 85 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,568 That's probably her next trick. 86 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,779 [drumroll] 87 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,952 [coughs] 88 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,958 [drumroll continues] 89 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:57,881 [musical fanfare] 90 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,091 How about that, folks? Wasn't she great? 91 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,010 Wonderful! Wonderful! Thank you very much. 92 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,012 Little Alice Birkenfeld, ladies and gentlemen. 93 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,014 Boy, oh, boy, what a trooper! 94 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,892 By the way, friends, Alice didn't want me to tell you this, 95 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,771 but she came out here with a temperature of over 101! 96 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,481 I knew there was something wrong with her. 97 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,941 Friends, I have a real treat for you. 98 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:19,736 Here's a gentleman who really doesn't belong on an amateur program, 99 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,322 because as far as I'm concerned he's a real professional, 100 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,865 right down to his fingertips. 101 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,160 And now, without further ado, won't you help me at this time 102 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,498 for a real grand Jade Club reception for Mr. Seymour Fareeki! 103 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,958 And here is Seymour! 104 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:35,335 - Glad to see you, Seymour! - [applause] 105 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,463 Here you go. All right, Seymour. 106 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,259 [Seymour plays jolly tune] 107 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:51,434 You know somethin', Duke? You ought to go up there. You're as good as any of them. 108 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,144 - Huh? - He's right. 109 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,314 - Duke, you'd win that contest, hands down. - Oh, come on! 110 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,818 You would, too, Duke. Little Alice was good, but I think you're better. 111 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,820 Go up on that stage and do your imitations. 112 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,030 - Quit it, will ya? - You really should! 113 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,907 Try it, Duke. What have you got to lose? 114 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,993 I don't even have an act! 115 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,287 Do your imitations. 116 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:13,123 I don't know! 117 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,546 - [cymbal clangs] - How about it for Seymour, huh? 118 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:23,592 Wonderful, Seymour! Tremendous job! Thank you very, very much. 119 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,719 Boy, oh, boy! Wasn't he wonderful? 120 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,305 Well, friends, that just about winds up our show. 121 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:31,182 Unless, of course, we have some other talented amateur out there 122 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,185 who would like to come up on stage and show us what they can do. 123 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,104 How about it, folks? Anybody else out there? 124 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,356 Remember, there's a $25 prize. 125 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,859 Besides that, the winner gets the chance 126 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,486 to come back to appear in our regular show tomorrow night. 127 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,072 Duke, that 25 bucks is practically in your pocket. 128 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,116 - Nah! - It sure is! Sir! 129 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,036 Sir! There's somebody right here who'd like to come up and try. 130 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,120 No! 131 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,998 How about that, ladies and gentlemen? We've got a shy marine! 132 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,584 Let's get him up on stage, folks! Come on, help him! 133 00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,712 Come on, buddy. There we go! Come on, folks, help him up here, would ya? 134 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,214 Come right over here, young fella! Come right up on the stage. 135 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,592 There we go. Come on up here. Come on! There you go! 136 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,136 Glad to see you, friend. Nothing to be afraid of. 137 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,597 We're all friends out here. It's a wonderful audience! 138 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,141 Do you mind telling me what your name is and what you do? 139 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,810 - Well, uh, my name is Duke Slater. - Mm. 140 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,855 - I-I do impressions. - What? What, what? 141 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,650 A-ha! This young fellow does impressions, ladies and gentlemen! 142 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,652 Wonderful! There's a great audience out there. 143 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,404 There's your microphone. You're on your own. Good luck, buddy! 144 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,824 Thank you. Ahem! 145 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:34,204 Well, thank you. Um, honestly, folks, I-I don't really, uh, sing or dance, 146 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,665 and I don't have anything prepared. 147 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:39,459 It's just that, uh, well, the other day, 148 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,545 I was, uh, fooling around in the barracks, doing a couple of impressions, 149 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,882 and my good buddies over there seem to think I'm pretty good at it, 150 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,718 so, uh, well, here I am. 151 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:49,928 Darn it! 152 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,430 As you can see, I'm a marine. 153 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:56,851 I was sentenced... I-I mean, I joined for four years! 154 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,270 I love the marines, and one nice thing about it, 155 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,107 you get to meet a lot of nice guys. 156 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:06,736 Like my good buddy over there, Gomer Pyle. 157 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,613 Gomer Pyle... Ahem. 158 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,368 "Gol-I-I-I-y! 159 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:17,747 Hey, everybody, it's me - Gomer. Surprise, surprise, surprise! 160 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,208 Y'all wanna meet my sergeant? Shazam!" 161 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,751 [applause] 162 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,587 That's another one - Sergeant Carter. 163 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,881 - We call him King Kong. - [laughter] 164 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,593 I'll never forget the first time I met him. It was in basic training. 165 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,804 I was sleeping peacefully in the barracks, 166 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,931 it was pitch-dark, the middle of the night, 167 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:39,227 and all of a sudden, this soft, gentle voice came to us. 168 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:44,024 "All right, you nitwits, you lamebrains, you knuckleheads! 169 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,359 Rise and shine! Up and at 'em! 170 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:52,032 Let's go! Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it!" 171 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,534 I don't know what Sergeant Carter did before the marines, 172 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,536 but I suspect he worked for Advantage Storage 173 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,288 because that's his favorite expression - 174 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,498 "Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it!" 175 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,376 - Hey! He's a funny guy. - Yeah! 176 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,878 He's got Carter down cold. 177 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,172 It's too bad Carter's not here. He'd split a gut. 178 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,506 Or that guy Slater's head! 179 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:12,177 ...and there was my sergeant, underneath the whole mess, yelling, 180 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:16,681 "I'll get you for this, you lamebrains, you nitwits, you knuckleheads! 181 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:20,185 Out, out, out, out, out! OUT!" 182 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,605 - [applause] - Let's hear it for Private Duke Slater! 183 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,648 [whistling] 184 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,192 Great job, old buddy. 185 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,402 Don't go away. Stand right over there, if you please. 186 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,946 Now, friends, this is it, the moment of truth. 187 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:36,076 Now we're going to find out who wins our $25 cash prize. 188 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,453 Would you contestants kindly come up on the stage, please? 189 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:41,372 - "Move it! Move it! Move it!" - [laughter] 190 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:44,709 Now, first of all, our first contestant was George Toomey, 191 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,212 - who played the spoons. - [light applause] 192 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,839 - Aw, I missed it! - Good. 193 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:54,052 - Seymour Fareeki... - [light applause] 194 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,890 - Little Alice Birkenfeld... - [light applause] 195 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,772 - Private Duke Slater... - Yay! 196 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,900 [cheering] 197 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,069 The winner is Private Duke Slater. 198 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,905 He won! He won! I knew he'd win! 199 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:17,867 I am sorry for little Alice, though. I hope she gets over her cold. 200 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,661 Private Slater, 201 00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:23,748 it gives me a great deal of pleasure to present you with this check, $25, 202 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,250 and also an invitation to come back 203 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,252 to appear in our regular show tomorrow night. 204 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,295 - Gee, thanks a lot. - My pleasure. 205 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,632 - More! More! Come on, Duke! - Do some more! 206 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,259 I guess they wanna hear more. 207 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,804 - You wanna hear more about my sergeant? - [crowd] More! More! 208 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,347 There you go! 209 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,015 Well, okay! 210 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:44,185 I never really did describe him to you, did I? 211 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:47,939 Well, uh, picture a very ugly bulldog. 212 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,900 - [laughter] - Well, he's... he's not quite that cute! 213 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:54,362 Too bad Carter missed this. He'd have enjoyed it. 214 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,281 I'll bet! 215 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,741 He still can tomorrow night. 216 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,535 Are you gonna tell him? 217 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:02,871 - Why not? - Ohh! 218 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:05,790 [men laugh] 219 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,625 Sergeant Carter reporting, as ordered, sir. 220 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,794 At ease, Sergeant. 221 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,214 As you know, every six months, the base rates its noncommissioned officers 222 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,592 and the current ratings have just come out. 223 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:19,179 I thought you'd like to know who the top-rated sergeant on this base is. 224 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,847 Sir? 225 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,557 "For outstanding leadership, 226 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,351 for earning the respect and confidence of his men, 227 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,687 Sergeant Vincent Carter." 228 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,398 Well, that's very nice, sir. 229 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,442 There'll be a formal presentation next week, 230 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,069 but I thought you'd like a little advanced word on this. 231 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,488 Well, yes. Thank you, sir. 232 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,116 - It's a great honor. - Congratulations, Sergeant. 233 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,786 As far as I'm concerned, I think the committee picked the right man. 234 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:44,996 Thank you, sir. 235 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,414 Good afternoon, Sergeant. 236 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,124 Good afternoon, sir! 237 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,715 [Carter] Yahoooo! 238 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,011 Hey, hiya, guys! 239 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,554 - Hey, Vince! - How are you, Vince? 240 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,307 Well, well, well... McCluskey, Lonigan and Shapiro - 241 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,517 Winkin', Blinkin' and Nod! 242 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,312 - We were just coming down to see you. - We wanted to tell you something. 243 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,315 Yeah, well, hold it, boys, cause I got something to tell you first. 244 00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,942 How are your hearts? All in good shape? 245 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:17,028 - Can they take a little bit of a jolt? - [all] Sure! Yeah! 246 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,864 Well, you know the semiannual NCO Awards? 247 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,075 - Guess who won? - You? 248 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:25,328 Well, not you, not you and not you! 249 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,957 That's really great, Vince. Who did you have to buy off to get it? 250 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,542 Hey, wait a minute. You guys said you had something to tell me. 251 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,753 Oh, it wasn't too much, Vince, except... 252 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,381 The boys and I saw this great comic down at the Jade Club. 253 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,174 We thought you might get a kick outta him. 254 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,425 Yeah? 255 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,719 Yeah. With your sense of humor, you'll really enjoy it. 256 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,888 The Jade Club, huh? 257 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,391 Well, by rights, I oughta do a little celebrating tonight. 258 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,559 Maybe I'll do my celebrating right there! 259 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,854 Good idea. It's just the thing an award-winning sergeant would enjoy. 260 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,065 - Right, boys? - Right! Right! 261 00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:57,610 Well, so long, losers. I gotta go see my men. 262 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,987 They just love me! 263 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,572 - Don't forget the Jade Club. - [chuckles] Yeah! 264 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:11,416 Boyle, you know someday you're gonna be a sergeant, 265 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,835 so you might as well know the secret. 266 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:17,171 I'm tough, all right, I'm plenty tough, but I'm fair. 267 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,550 I'm tough and I'm fair and I'm understanding. 268 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:25,513 - And you're modest. - Right. That's why my men love me. 269 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:28,975 - Afternoon, Sergeant Carter! - Oh, Pyle. 270 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,145 Well, even you can't spoil my day, Pyle. Come in, come in. 271 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,148 - What can I do for you? - You sure seem in a good mood, Sergeant! 272 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,608 - Tell him, Boyle. - You want me to? 273 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:41,112 - Sure, tell him! - Well, it isn't out for publication yet, 274 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:44,991 but your sergeant here was just given the semiannual sergeant's award - 275 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,285 rated the best sergeant on this base. 276 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:50,330 No! You don't mean it! 277 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,207 Well, for gosh sakes, what do you think about that? 278 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,918 That's right, Pyle. For outstanding leadership 279 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,212 and for earning the respect and confidence of my men. 280 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,548 Well, for gosh sakes! 281 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,842 I can't tell you how happy I am, Sergeant. 282 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,887 Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations! 283 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:09,640 Enough, Pyle. Now, what's on your mind? 284 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,643 I just wanted to know if you were doin' anything special tonight? 285 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,187 Tonight? 286 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,189 Ah, I've already been spoken for. 287 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,983 You should've asked me sooner! [laughs] 288 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,487 That's funny, Sergeant. You know, you've sure got a good sense of humor. 289 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,572 Yeah. Everybody says that. 290 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,074 What I wanted to say, though, 291 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,493 is that if you're not doin' anything special tonight, 292 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,453 you ought to go down to the Jade Club. 293 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:33,373 You see, last night they had this opportunity contest 294 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,834 and Duke won first prize and he's gonna be there again tonight. 295 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,879 And, Sergeant Carter, he's the funniest comedian you've ever seen. 296 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:44,550 - Duke? Slater? - Yeah, and he's funny, funny, funny! 297 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,387 Somebody else was telling me about a comic down at the Jade Club, 298 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,389 - but I didn't know it was Slater. - Well, it is, 299 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,557 and he is funny, funny, funny! 300 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,434 Yeah, you told me. 301 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,186 Well, I might just drop down there. 302 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,981 Well, you'll sure be thrilled, Sergeant, cause he is funny, funny, fu... 303 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,525 You said that, Pyle! 304 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:04,153 Listen, I won't tell Duke you're comin'. I'll just let it all be a big surprise. 305 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,698 Well, okay. All right, Pyle. Maybe I'll drop down there. 306 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,411 Good, Sergeant. And, Sergeant, best wishes on your award again. 307 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,914 Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations! 308 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,916 [Carter laughs] 309 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,418 - Sarge... - Yeah? 310 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,586 You know there's a buck 50 minimum at the Jade Club. 311 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:25,883 So? This is no night to count pennies! This is a night to howl. What's a buck 50? 312 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,345 - Is that a person or a couple? - Per person, Sarge. 313 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,265 Ah, so what? This is a night to celebrate! 314 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,934 I'll pick up Bunny. We'll have dinner and drinks 315 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,311 and some of that Napa Valley champagne. 316 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,648 Don't worry, we'll get our three dollars' worth! 317 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,567 [door buzzer] 318 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,363 - Hi, Vince. - Hiya, Bun. 319 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,241 Hey, uh, what are you doing in slacks? 320 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:53,077 What do you mean, "What am I doing in slacks?" 321 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:56,456 I always tear my stockings on those stools down at Hamburger Pete's, 322 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,417 and, well, it gets pretty cold at the beach, you know? 323 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,587 Beach? What beach? We're not going to Hamburger Pete's. 324 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,798 But I'm hungry and you promised me dinner, Vince! 325 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,259 And those sandwiches are only 30 cents. I don't see why... 326 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:13,097 Wait a minute, baby! I know that's what we usually do, but tonight is different. 327 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:16,058 Tonight is special. Tonight we're really gonna go big. 328 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,894 Yeah? Where? 329 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,062 We are going to the Jade Club. 330 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,356 The Jade Club? Well, that's a dollar minimum! 331 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:26,235 What are you talking about, a dollar? It's a dollar and a half! 332 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:30,239 That's okay, baby, because little Vince has got something to celebrate tonight! 333 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,450 Oh, yeah? What is it? 334 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:36,746 Well, sweetheart, you are looking at the top-rated sergeant on the entire base! 335 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,290 The NCO Awards came out today and guess who won! 336 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,334 - Oh, Vince! - [laughs] 337 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,504 Oh, that's wonderful! I'm real happy for you! 338 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:48,341 Yeah! So dress to the hilt, baby, because we're really gonna swing tonight! 339 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,801 Oh, Vince, I'm so happy and proud of you! 340 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:54,013 Even if we did have hamburgers tonight, I'd still be thrilled. 341 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,181 Yeah? 342 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,266 Maybe we oughta just have hamburgers tonight! 343 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,768 Ah! Come on! 344 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,437 Come on, baby, move it, we don't wanna miss the show! 345 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,440 We're gonna have fun, fun, fun! 346 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,026 [exotic music plays] 347 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,868 Gomer, why do you keep looking out there? Are you expecting someone? 348 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,704 As a matter of fact, I am. I got a big surprise for Duke. 349 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:19,956 Yeah? What? 350 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,124 Well, I invited Sergeant Carter to come down. 351 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,127 You what?! Gomer, you didn't? 352 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,004 Yes, I did, and he said he'd come. 353 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,423 - Why, what's wrong, Frankie? - What's wrong, Gomer? 354 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,925 Why, he'll blow his top! 355 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,177 Sergeant Carter? Why would he do that? 356 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,138 Oh, Gomer, because Duke is doing that imitation of him! 357 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,015 Well, that's the reason I invited him down. 358 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,101 Oh, boy, Gomer, you really... 359 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,271 I gotta warn him. He's going on next. 360 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:47,149 - Warn him about what? - Oh, Gomer, don't you understand? 361 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,694 [music ends] 362 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:52,738 All right, let's hear it for Mavis Pearl! 363 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,117 Oh, no. It's too late. 364 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,703 - He isn't here. Maybe he'll miss him. - Ladies and gentlemen... 365 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,997 I still don't know why that upsets you so much! 366 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,165 - Shut up, Gomer. - Last night on Amateur Night, 367 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,793 we discovered a very funny, funny comedian, 368 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,628 so we've asked him to come back this evening 369 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,297 to appear for you ladies and gentlemen. 370 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:13,259 So won't you help me at this time with a real solid Jade Club reception 371 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,095 - for Private Duke Slater. - [applause] 372 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,223 [musical fanfare] 373 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:21,017 Welcome, Private Slater. 374 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:24,186 Hey, we're just in time. They're introducing him now. 375 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,063 Ooh, good! 376 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:28,649 [Duke] Gosh, I never knew I had so many relatives! 377 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,985 Oh, no! It's Carter! 378 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,654 - This is it! This is the end! - [Duke] Well, thank you very much. 379 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:38,117 Uh, last night, I told the folks about some of the fellas in my platoon 380 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,036 and it seemed to go over pretty well, 381 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,289 so I thought I might as well do the same thing tonight. 382 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,374 - That is, if you want me to? - [applause] 383 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:48,502 Hey, this oughta be pretty good. 384 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,255 Okay, well, first of all, 385 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,424 there's my good buddy, Gomer Pyle. 386 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,134 Gomer Pyle... 387 00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,348 "Gol-I-I-I-ly! 388 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,643 Heck's sakes and Shazam!" 389 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,187 Hey, this is great! He's got Pyle down to a T! 390 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,897 Isn't it great, huh? 391 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,566 And then there's our sweet, gentle sergeant, 392 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,860 with his soft, tender little voice, 393 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:16,155 who wakes us up in the morning with the voice of a nightingale. 394 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,115 Hey, Vince, he's gonna do you! 395 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,493 Yeah. 396 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,620 "All right, you nitwits! 397 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:27,541 Move it! Move it! Move it! MOVE IT! 398 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:30,753 You're not civilians now, you're marines! 399 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:34,882 M-A-R-U... 400 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:38,719 M-A-R-E... 401 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,137 Marines! 402 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,598 Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it!" 403 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,893 See, Gomer? Look at him. Look at him! Does he look like he's enjoying it? 404 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:49,522 - What is this? Is this his act? - [Duke] And you know, 405 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,566 the sarge has this terrible problem with his ears. 406 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:56,779 Every time he gives us an order, we usually say, "Yes, Sergeant?" 407 00:19:56,779 --> 00:20:00,825 And he says, "I can't HEAR you!" 408 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,244 And we say, "Yes, Sergeant?" 409 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:07,039 And he says, "I can't HEAR you!" 410 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,458 And we say, "Yes, Sergeant?!" 411 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:15,506 And he still says, "I can't HEAR you!" 412 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,467 I think his mother forgot to take off his earmuffs! 413 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,721 - No good... - Come on, Vince. He's just kidding. 414 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,931 The people think he's funny. 415 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,808 Yeah, well, I don't. 416 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,768 Come on, let's get out of here. 417 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,353 Now look! He's leaving! 418 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:32,148 - We gotta do somethin'. - Like what? 419 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,066 Well, I don't know, but we gotta do somethin'. 420 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,486 And this is the way Sergeant Carter counts cadence. 421 00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:41,323 [Duke bellows] 422 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,284 Gomer, what are you doing? I'm on, I'm on! 423 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:46,620 - What are you doing? - Sorry, but there's somethin' I gotta say. 424 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,956 Excuse me for interruptin', folks, 425 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:52,126 - but my name's Gomer Pyle and... - [applause] 426 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:56,130 Look at that! Now the two of 'em are gonna team up. Come on. 427 00:20:56,130 --> 00:21:00,092 I want y'all to know how pleased I was at the way Duke here was imitatin' me, 428 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,720 and there's another feller here that Duke took off on. 429 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,222 And I wouldn't want him to get out of here before you meet him. 430 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,974 That feller is Sergeant Carter 431 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,269 - and he's standin' right by the door. - [applause] 432 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:14,106 In addition to being a good sergeant, he's also a real good sport. 433 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,860 Cause all the time that y'all was laughing at the way Duke here was imitating him, 434 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,197 there wasn't nobody enjoying it any more than Sergeant Carter hisself. 435 00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,948 He's got a wonderful sense of humor. 436 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:27,203 - [applause] - Look, Vince, they're clapping for you! 437 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,705 Something else I want y'all to know about Sergeant Carter, 438 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:32,374 he's one of the best sergeants on our base. 439 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,878 As a matter of fact, he won an award just today for that very reason - 440 00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:37,922 being the best sergeant on our base. 441 00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:41,383 Wouldn't y'all like to meet this feller who knows how to take a joke on hisself? 442 00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:45,054 - [man] Come on up here! - [applause] 443 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,306 Go on, Vince! They're calling for you! 444 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,141 Go on! Come on! 445 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,602 [band plays "marine's hymn"] 446 00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,687 [MC] Come on, what an audience! 447 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:56,440 Is this an audience? Wonderful, wonderful! 448 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,859 Come on up here, Sergeant. Come on up! 449 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,695 Glad to see you, Sergeant. Wonderful! Wonderful! 450 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,073 Yes, indeed! Thank you. 451 00:22:04,073 --> 00:22:06,116 Welcome to the Jade Club, Sergeant Carter. 452 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,702 Would you mind saying a few words for us, please? 453 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,705 Well, uh... 454 00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,583 Uh, you know, uh... 455 00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:18,128 Yeah, Private Slater's pretty good, but, uh, 456 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:20,256 well, he really doesn't do me right. 457 00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:24,635 I mean, when I say, "Move it, move it, move it," 458 00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:27,221 well, I mean "Move it! Move it! Move it!" 459 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,223 [laughter] 460 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,517 - Right? - [all] Right! 461 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,727 I can't HEAR you! 462 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:36,772 - [all] Right! - I can't HEAR you! 463 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,482 [all] Right! 464 00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,986 - I can't HEAR you! - [all] Right! 465 00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:46,323 - [applause] - I can't hear you! 466 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,663 Well, that sort of winds up our show. 467 00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:55,916 Before we do, I was just wondering, Sergeant Carter, what about you, 468 00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,544 is there anything you can do for us? Do you have any hidden talent? 469 00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,963 Oh, no, no. I can't do anything. 470 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:04,300 Why don't you sing a song, Sergeant? He's got a real fine voice. 471 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,135 Really? Is that true, Sergeant? 472 00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,344 No, not really. 473 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,388 Come on. How about a song? 474 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:12,224 - Well... - Come on, old buddy, what will it be? 475 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,059 Well, does the band know For Me and My Gal? 476 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,812 Of course they know For Me and My Gal. Hit it, fellas. 477 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,565 [piano introduction] 478 00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:23,903 [sings off-key] ♪ The bells are ringing 479 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:28,032 ♪ For me and my gal 480 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:31,660 ♪ The birds are singing 481 00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:35,998 ♪ For me and my gal 482 00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:40,502 ♪ Everybody's been knowing 483 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:44,548 ♪ To a weddin' they're going 484 00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:48,594 ♪ And for weeks they've been sewing 485 00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:52,681 ♪ Every Susie and Sa-a-al 486 00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:56,685 ♪ They're congregating 487 00:23:56,685 --> 00:24:00,689 ♪ For me and my gal 488 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:04,652 ♪ The parson's waiting 489 00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:08,614 ♪ For me and my gal 490 00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,532 ♪ And someday 491 00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:13,661 ♪ We're gonna build a little home ♪ 40158

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