All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S02E11 A Visit From Cousin Goober 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

This past week, Pyle,
you've outdone yourself.

This past week, you won the booby prize.

Congratulations.

But it's not going to continue.
Do you understand, Pyle?

I have had it with you.

I've had it up to here with you
being late for roll call.

I've had it up to here with you
not having your shoes shined.

I've had it up to here with you
forgetting your gas mask during drill.

I held my breath, Sergeant.

I've had it up to here with you
not having your pants pressed.

I've had it up here with you
being the last one out of the chow hall.

Do you see where I am, Pyle?

You've still got a little ways go,
thank goodness.

That's right, Pyle.
I still have a little ways to go.

But one more goof, and I'm up to here.

And then, Pyle,
you win the grand prize.

Grand prize?

That's right, Pyle.

A transfer to the Aleutians,
with no return for three years,

how would you like that, Pyle?

Would you come along, too, Sergeant?

No, I would not come, too.

As a matter of fact, you'd probably
be the only one there, Pyle.

I would see to it.

You'd get your thermal underwear,
your sea rations,

and there you are,
all alone in the Aleutians.

Alone?

Alone, alone! Just one more goof,
Pyle, just one more goof.

So I leave you with two little words.

Watch it. Just watch it.

Now as you were.

All right, now you people have ten minutes
to get ready for that hike.

I don't mean 11 minutes.

I don't mean ten and a half minutes.

I mean ten minutes.

Now start getting your gear together.

Do you hear, Pyle? That means you, too.

All right, ten-hut!

Dismissed.

[quiet chatter]

What's the matter, Gomer?
You really got the sergeant going there.

Yeah, man, he really laid it on.

Well, there wasn't no point
in going into it.

Going into what?

The fact is, I've got some personal
problems that's been bothering me.

I know that's no excuse, but that's it.

Well, Gomer, what personal problems?

- My cousin, Goober.
- Your cousin, Goober?

He's the one that took my place at Wiley's
Filling Station back home in Maybury.

He's a real nice fella.

He can take a car apart and put it back
together right before your eyes.

Well, what about him?

Well, I got this letter
from him last week.

It seems that he and Wiley
had this falling out,

and he was thinking about quitting.

What's the big deal about that?
He'll get another job.

Well, where would he go?

Wiley's is the only filling station
in Maybury.

And I kind of feel responsible for Goober.

I talked Wiley into letting him
take my place.

And I've been thinking about it
and worrying.

And I guess that's the reason
I haven't been doing my best work.

Well, listen. We better get outside.
Gomer, get your stuff together. Come on.

[Carter] Come on. Hurry it up.

Let's go. Let's go.

[cadet] Come on, Gomer. Hurry up.

[Carter] Let's look alive.

Come on, Gomer.
You don't want to be late, pal.

You don't want to go
to the Aleutians, do you?

You don't think he'd do that, do you,
send me to the Aleutians by myself?

Well, why test him? Now get going.

I'll be right with you.

Hey, Gomer. Look who's here.

For goodness sakes, Goober,
for goodness sakes.

Hey, cousin. Boy, is it good to see you.

[they laugh]

Hey, Gomer, let's take a look at you.

Why, you're pretty as a cat bird.
I hardly knowed you.

You must have grown an inch,
and you filled out.

Woo-wee, what do you say, cousin?
How you making it?

What are you doing here, Goober?

Well, you got the letter, didn't you?
Well, I done it.

I quit Wiley, just like I said I would.
I dropped my tools and just took off.

Felt like taking a trip, so here I am.

Hey, Goober, listen.

Boy, this is a real nice place, ain't it?

So this is the Marine Corps.

Hey, what's that in there?

[Carter] All right, you people, move it.
Move it.

That's my locker. Listen, Goober.

Civilians ain't allowed back here.

Hey, look at that, a green one
and a blue one. Are these yours, too?

- They're all mine, Goober. Listen.
- Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

What brought you all the way out here?

The bus, one of them two-story ones.
They're cool, and it went fast, vroom.

You can't stay here. You've got--

Hey, Gomer. Come on.
You've got-- Who's that?

- This is Goober.
- Goober?

Cousin Goober, you remember.
I was telling you about him.

Gomer, if you don't get...

- It's Goober.
- Goober.

Gomer, are these some of your buddies?

Uh-huh, it's Frankie and Duke.

Hey, Frankie. Hey, Duke.
You sure look snazzy in them uniforms.

How did you get on the base, Goober?

I walked in.

What about the sentry at the gate?
Didn't he try to stop you?

I don't reckon he seen me. He was
talking to another feller at the time.

- You shouldn't have done that.
- Done what?

Gomer, look, you'd better
get him out of here.

Having a civilian in the barracks,
that could be big trouble.

- And you can't afford it. You know that.
- That's right.

Look, Goober. You shouldn't be here.

I mean, I'm glad to say you and all,

but civilians ain't allowed to visit
the base without permission.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Oh, well, I'm not just visiting. I might
stay.

- What?
- That's right.

I'm gonna having me a look around.

If I like what I see,
I'll stay and be a Marine. Shoot, why not?

I'm free as a bird right now.

Gomer, you better get him
out of the barracks.

Take him out the back. And you better
get ready for the hike. Now go ahead.

Come on, Gomer. Hurry up.

We'll take your gear
and meet you out front.

Come on, Goober. We better go outside.

Goober, you must have got
the wrong idea somewhere.

You can't just try the Marines.

Why not?
That's the way I started with Wiley.

I had a five-day trial period.

- [whistle]
- Oh, my gosh. I got to go.

Where?

- On a hike.
- Hike, can I come, too?

No, as a matter of fact,
you've got to get off this base.

Now look.
The back gate is right over there.

You go out, go on into town,
and get you a room at the Hotel Agnes.

I'll come and see you later.

Sure I can't come on the hike? You're not
gonna have a picnic, too, are you?

Please, Goober, you've got to do
what I say. I gotta go.

I'll see you in town.
Don't forget, the Hotel Agnes.

It's real nice.
They got a TV in the lobby.

- [whistle]
- [Carter] Fall in. Fall in. Fall in.

Come on. Move it. Move it, on the double.

Get ready.

Forward march.

Left and left and left,

left, right, and left.

Left and left and left,
left, right, and left.

Left and left and left,
left, right, and left.

[sighs]

Left and left and left,
left, right, and left.

305 I, 12 bunks, no empties.

22 bunks, no empties.

What's your name?

Pyle, what's yours?

Swanson, I-- Never mind that!

What are you doing,
alone in these barracks?

Uh, the rest of the fellers
went off on a hike.

I wanted to go,
but they wouldn't take me.

Confined to barracks,
that's no surprise.

Pyle, how do you explain that uniform?

You mean it don't fit?
Well, I can explain that.

I mean the shoes, the shoes.

Oh, these, I wear them
'cause they're comfortable.

My others hurt me across the in-step.
I got--

You're on report, Pyle.

Hands in pockets, out of uniform,
unmilitary conduct.

Pyle, you stay right here.

Don't you leave these barracks, you
understand? But get out of those shoes.

Yes, sir.

I mean now!

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

[Carter] Left and left and left,
left, right, and left.

Ten-hut.

Left face.

Dismissed.

For goodness sakes, are you still here?
What are you doing in that uniform?

Hey, Gomer. Do y'all think
I make a good-looking Marine?

♪ From the halls of Montez um a
to the shores of...

What's the name of that other place?

Goober, you've got to get out of here.

No, I can't do that. A fella come by here
and told me to stay right here.

He sounded real serious.

A fella? What fella was that?

He was about this big.
He sounded important, kind of bossy,

and had a shiny thing on each collar.

I don't believe it.
I just don't believe it.

There's his name, Private Pyle.

Look at this report.

"Hands in pockets, unmilitary conduct,
wearing brown and white shoes."

Brown and white shoes?

Oh, he's asking for it.
He's just asking for it.

So, you see, Goober, you can't stay here.

It's against the rules,
and that's one thing about the Marines.

They set a great store by rules.

Well, I don't want to discommode you
any, Gomer.

But how am I ever gonna find out if I
want to be a Marine if I can't try it out?

Because, in the Marines, we always--

Hey, here comes Sergeant Carter.

Gomer, get him out of here.
Get him out of here right now.

I knew this would happen.
I knew it would happen.

Wait outside, Goober, quick.

Pyle, Pyle, where's Pyle?

Right here, Sergeant.

Pyle, tell me it ain't true.

Hey.

I took 'em off, just like you said.

This is more than a simple case
of misconduct.

- You know what I think, Smith?
- The psychiatrist?

Yeah.

Pyle, how would you like
to go for a little ride with us?

You mean in that, in your jeep?

That's right.

Well, that sure is nice of you.
I always did want to ride in one of them.

Later on, you wouldn't think
about letting me drive it, would you?

Well, uh, maybe, maybe, come on. Get in.

Do you know I can take one of these apart
and put it back together again

right before your eyes?

Step on it, Smith.

This time, you have backed me to the wall.

There's only one thing left for me
to do now.

I'm going to talk to the Colonel.

You might as well start packing,
because you are on borrowed time.

What's the matter with you?
Why didn't you tell him about Goober?

Well, I couldn't do that.

Goober could get into awful trouble,
more trouble than me, even.

After all, he's just a civilian.

Well, let's get him in here, get him in
his civvies, and get him off the base.

Come on.

Goober?

Goober?

He's gone.

Goober?
Goober?

- Goober?
- Goober?

Goober?

Well, somewhere on this base,
there's a wandering Goober.

And since his last name is Pyle,

you're gonna get all the credit
for anything he does.

Well, maybe he went back into town.

Well, I hope so, but he didn't
say nothing about going into town.

Well, look, wherever he is, it's not good.

Don't forget, he's got that uniform on.

Gomer, I'd tell Sergeant Carter.
Level with him.

I can't, Duke. I just can't.

Goober's my own kin, and he could
get in real big, serious trouble.

But, Gomer, what about you?

Lieutenant Swanson tells me
you were outside the barracks

in your stocking feet.

- That's right.
- Do you want to tell me about it?

What for? You already know.

What I mean is why were you
outside in your stocking feet?

Because I didn't have my shoes on.

Tell me, Pyle, uh, how do you feel
about being a Marine?

Well, that's a good question.

To tell you the truth, I don't know yet.

I mean, I might just decide to stay,
and then again, I might just take off.

Pyle, do you have any dreams you can
remember, perhaps one that recurs?

Say it again.

I mean, a dream you've had more than once.

Oh, yeah, there's this one dream
I've had lots of times. It's just awful.

[psychiatrist] Good, tell me about it.

Well, there's this
great big gas pump, see?

And I'm pumping away.

And these bells get louder and louder,
bom bom, bom bom.

It's enough to drive a person
right out of their mind.

Bom bom.

- That's right. You got it.
- Well, that'll be all for now, Pyle.

Why don't you just go right on
back to the barracks?

You mean that place
where the lieutenant picked me up?

That's right.
Why don't you just go back there

and take it easy for the rest of the day?

Well, okay. Uh, would it be all right
if I take off my socks?

If I walk all the way back like this,
it'll wear the heels up.

Sure, sure, you can take off your socks.

Thanks.

It's sure been real nice talking to you.

You're a real good listener.

Sir, you know what it sounds like to me?

It sounds like Pyle has flipped.

No, no, no, I wouldn't
put it that way, Sergeant.

But there does seem to be some evidence
of a personality conflict.

Sir?

Well, I'd rather not make a hasty
diagnosis, but Pyle does appear

to have some signs
of a double personality.

How do you like that?

I never thought he had
any personality at all.

What I'm saying, Sergeant,
is that this can get quite bizarre.

Now there's a conflict of interest,
a struggle of incompatible desires.

On the one hand,
the striving toward normal behavior,

on the other hand,
deviating toward the bizarre,

do you understand that, Sergeant?

Yes, sir, Pyle is a bizarre.

What I'm saying, Sergeant,

is that Pyle has within him a struggle
between the good Marine

and the bad Marine.

Now it'll be a day or two
before I can get out separation orders.

In the meantime, go easy with him.

Yes, sir, of course.

Uh, does he know yet?

[psychiatrist] No, he doesn't.

Well, sir, do you think
maybe I should tell him?

We've been together since boot camp.

That's a good idea. I think it would be
the best way of handling it.

Yes, sir, I'll be glad to.

How do you like that?

Pyle, a bizarre.

Well, Pyle, we've been together
for quite a while now, haven't we?

One year, three weeks, and two days.

And you got a lot to be proud of.

You made private first class in a year.
That's nothing to sneeze at.

Who knows?

After a little while,
you may be able to come back.

Back? Back from where?

Listen, Pyle. I don't know
how to tell you this,

but it looks like you're going
to be leaving here.

You mean to the Aleutians?

Oh, no, not the Aleutians,
I didn't mean that.

That was just a threat.

I mean...

Well, the fact is, Pyle,
we're gonna be sending you home.

- Home?
- That's right.

But I've been watching it, Sergeant.
Honest, I have.

I was the first one out
of the chow hall this afternoon.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
it isn't that part.

I mean, it ain't a question
of simple, little goofs anymore.

It's the funny things.

I mean, when a Marine begins to wear brown
and white shoes with his uniform, Pyle,

well, let's face it.
It's time to bid adieu.

Huh?

That's goodbye in Italian.

Some of us can be Marines,
and some of us can't.

It's as simple as that.

So just feel proud of the fact
that you were in for a year.

Well, goodbye, Pyle.

Well, golly, listen, Sergeant.
I got to tell you something.

I wasn't gonna say nothing.

But if it means my leaving the Marines,
well, I just can't protect him any longer.

Protect him? Protect who?

- Goober.
- Goober?

That's right. See, it wasn't me
that done all them bad things

that you think I done. It was him, Goober.

You mean it wasn't you
with your hands in your pockets?

Uh-uh, it was Goober.

And it wasn't you
with brown and white shoes?

- Uh-uh.
- It was Goober?

That's right.

But don't worry, Sergeant.
I got rid of him.

I finally convinced him
he had to get off the base.

Oh, I see.

So is everything all right now?
I don't have to get out of the Marines?

You understand about Goober?

Oh, yes, I understand.
Then everything's okay.

Everything's terrific.

Now you just go back
to the barracks and take it easy. Rest.

And you ain't made at Goober,
'cause he didn't know no better.

Oh, no, I'm not mad at Goober at all.

[forced laughter]

You see, Sergeant, it fits exactly
into what we were talking about earlier.

He makes up this fictitious character
in order to help him out of his troubles.

- Sir?
- Well, it's simple.

It's like with a small child.

They need the approval of their parents
so that when they do something bad,

they make up an imaginary character
to take the blame.

If they break a window,
it's the bad Georgie that did it.

If they run a hose in Daddy's car,
it's the bad Donald.

Do you understand, Sergeant?

Yes, sir, but that's with kids.

As his sergeant, you're taking the place
of his mother and father, especially now.

I didn't know it was that bad.

Frankly, I didn't either.

Now I'll speed up his orders.

Meantime, you try
to keep him on an even keel.

You mean it can get worse?

[psychiatrist] You can never tell.
Remember, be nice. Be pleasant.

And if there are any sudden changes,
get in touch with me immediately.

Yes, sir.

Goober?

- [whispers] Gomer.
- Hm?

Wake up.

Goober, what are you doing here?
I thought you was at the hotel.

I was gonna come see you tomorrow.

Well, I went. But you know what
they wanted, just to sleep there?

Four dollars and 50 cents.

Can I stay here tonight?

But I told Sergeant Carter
you was in town.

Well, just for the night, I'll be out
of here first thing in the morning.

The Marines ain't gonna work for me,
too many people hollering at you.

Goober, you ain't allowed here.

It's bad enough during
the day, but at night--

I could stretch out under your bunk.

How about it, Gomer?

Look, I'll tell you what.

I'll just go get Sergeant Carter
and tell him the truth.

I'll tell him that you're here,
and you ain't got no place to sleep.

Maybe he'll understand.
He's a very understanding man.

You just wait right here.

Well, ask him how he'd
like to spend four dollars and a half

to sleep someplace one night.

[knocking]

Pyle, uh, what's the matter?

Well, I thought I better tell you,
Goober's back.

Oh, he is?

Uh-huh, and he hasn't got
no place to sleep.

Oh?

He said he'd like
to sleep under my bunk,

but I thought I better
check with you first.

Yeah, sleep under your bunk?

Well, why don't you do that?

Uh, you let him sleep under your bunk.
That's all right.

Are you sure?

Why not?

I told him what an understanding fella
you were, and you are, Sergeant Carter.

Yeah, well, uh, goodnight, Pyle.

You just go back to bed, huh?

Thank you, Sergeant.

Sure, sure.

Doctor? Sergeant Carter.
Pyle was just in here.

He says the other fella is back again,
the one that does all the bad things.

I think he's really gone.
Maybe you'd better get right over here.

[whispers] Goober.

- Sergeant Carter.
- Oh, Dr. Reiner, sir.

Uh, is he inside?

Yes, sir, I think so, sir.

Okay, everything's going to be all right.
What bunk does he sleep in?

- Number six on the left.
- All right.

Do you want me to go in, sir?

- No, you wait out here.
- Yes, sir.

- [whispers] Pyle.
- Huh?

- Pyle.
- Who is it?

It's me, Dr. Reiner.

Oh, hey, doctor.
Boy, am I glad to see you.

I was dream about them gas pumps
again, bom bom, bom bom.

[insects chirp]

Sergeant Carter?

What are you doing out here?

Well, you see, Goober took my bunk.

And I didn't know where to sleep.

Oh.

Oh. Uh, well, look, Pyle.

Uh, since you're gonna be leaving--

Leaving? I ain't leaving.

I know. I know.
Uh, but when you do leave,

I just wanted to tell you that
it's, uh, been nice knowing you

and that, uh, that, um...

Put it there, Pyle. Say.

Hey, Doc, I got him, out here, out here!

What is it, Sergeant?

I got him. I got Pyle.

What do you mean, you've got Pyle?
I've got Pyle.

- Huh?
- Hey, Gomer.

You can have your bunk back now.

This feller says he's got
a nice bed for me.

Who's that?

Well, that's Goober, the feller I've been
telling you about. He's my cousin.

Hey, Sergeant.

Then who's that?

Private First Class Gomer Pyle, sir.

You mean there is a Goober, a real Goober?

Well, sure, Sergeant,
I told you about him twice.

There is a Goober? There is a Goober.

How do you like that? There is a Goober.

There is a Goober.

[laughs] There is a Goober.

Listen. Uh, uh, Sergeant Carter--

How do you like that? There is a Goober.

Sergeant Carter,
I think you'd better come with me.

I'll find you a place to sleep too.

- But there is a Goober.
- Yes, yes.

There is a Goober, hey, all right.
There is a Goober.

There is a Goober.

"So all in all, things is pretty good.

I don't regret making the trip
to see you

because sometimes
it takes some scouting around

to find that happiness is
in your own backyard,

or filling station, as the case may be.
Ha ha."

[laughs]

"Say hey to all the boys and
especially to Sergeant Carter.

Yours very truly, Cousin Goober.

PS Hope you like the present I sent you.

They had a sale over at Weavers."

I wonder what it is.

Oh, ain't that sweet?

That Goober.

How do you know they'll fit, Gomer?

Let's see.

They feel just fine.

All right, you people,
now I want every one of you to...

[marching band plays]