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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:05,547
[marching band playing]
2
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,970
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,475
Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,813
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,492
So, I'd certainly appreciate it, Sergeant,
6
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,994
if you'd have one of your men
run into town and do this little errand.
7
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,163
Yes, sir, I'd do it
for you personally, sir,
8
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,707
but I'm duty sergeant today,
and I can't get off the base.
9
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,376
But I'll have one of my men
take care of it.
10
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,418
Fine.
11
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,462
Whenever Congressman Holiday
pays us a visit,
12
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,965
I always have a box
of his favorite cigars on hand.
13
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,800
It's the only brand he smokes.
14
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,511
And since it's a good idea
to keep congressmen happy,
15
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,888
- I thought we'd pick him up a box.
Yes, sir.
16
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,098
That's the place,
17
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,725
C.J. Ware Tobacco Company,
180 Grant Street.
18
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,269
It's the only place
you can get 'em.
19
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:01,937
I'll have them on your desk
in no time, sir.
20
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:04,731
No rush, as long as they're here
by about noon tomorrow
21
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,150
- when the Congressman gets here.
- Yes, sir.
22
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,531
Duke, now I'm gonna miss my bus.
23
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,741
Please, Larry?
I just gotta see my girl. I just gotta.
24
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:15,659
What do you say?
25
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:18,328
Duke, you know if I had
the money to spare, I'd lend it to you,
26
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:22,291
but I only got enough to see that movie,
and I gotta see the movie.
27
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,417
Do you mind?
28
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,168
Movie? What are you
talkin' about, a movie?
29
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,670
Look, I'll take anything you got.
30
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,381
I need $10,
but I wanna see my girl. Please.
31
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,216
Well, I wanna see my girl, too,
32
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,676
Sophia Loren.
33
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:34,845
Thanks.
34
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,098
Oh, Gomer. Gomer, buddy,
35
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,266
am I glad to see you.
36
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,810
- Listen, pal, can you do me a favor?
- Well, sure, Duke.
37
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,979
What good is a friend for
if he can't help you?
38
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,523
- I need some money.
- Sorry, I can't help you.
39
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:49,443
Please, Gomer.
I got a real important date tonight,
40
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,820
that airline stewardess, Patty Gillette.
I told you all about her.
41
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,196
Oh, yeah,
the one that's always flyin'
42
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,574
- back and forth to San Francisco.
- Yeah, that's the one.
43
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,576
Well, I didn't tell you
everything about her.
44
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,578
See, she's just not
any ordinary girl.
45
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,913
She's... Well, I think
I'm in love with her.
46
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,499
Golly, Duke.
47
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,044
That's wonderful.
And best wishes to you.
48
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,713
Yeah, well, this is the first Saturday
she's had off in weeks,
49
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,882
and, well, that's why I need the money.
I just have to see her.
50
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,509
Oh, well, when I said a while ago
that I couldn't help you,
51
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,428
I just meant I ain't got
a whole lot of money,
52
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,221
but you're welcome
to everything I got.
53
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,807
Oh, great, Gomer. You're a peach.
I'll never forget you for this.
54
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,142
And if Patty and I
ever get married,
55
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,311
I promise,
you're gonna be the best man.
56
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,479
Shazam!
57
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,439
That sure would be
a wonderful honor.
58
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,607
Yeah.
59
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:36,365
10, 20, 30, 31, 32, 33.
60
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,825
There you are, Duke. Take it.
61
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,160
Gomer, that's all you got?
62
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,371
Well, sure, but don't worry.
I don't need it.
63
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,998
Gomer, that's not even enough
for bus fare one way.
64
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,502
I promised her candlelight dinner
and dancing to violin music.
65
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,462
I need at least $10.
66
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,423
Well, why don't you
hitchhike into town?
67
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,384
And if you love her
and she loves you,
68
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,552
then you should be happy
just bein' together.
69
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,513
You could take her
for a walk in the park,
70
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,556
and 33 cents
will buy you somethin',
71
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,767
like two snow cones
and some jujubes...
72
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,269
Yeah, thanks,
thanks a lot, Gomer.
73
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,439
I guess I better call her
and tell her the date's off.
74
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,365
[whistling]
75
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,034
Hey, Sergeant.
76
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,038
Don't tell me everybody's
gone on pass already.
77
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,916
Well, not everybody,
I'm still here.
78
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,626
No, I couldn't be that unlucky.
79
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,379
- What's the matter, Sergeant?
- Nothing.
80
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,216
Just listen
and pay close attention.
81
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,719
Now, in this envelope,
there's some money and a piece of paper
82
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,762
with the name
of a kind of cigar on it.
83
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,390
I want you to take it
to the C.J. Ware Tobacco Company
84
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,641
at 180 Grant Street.
85
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,685
- Oh, I know where that is.
- Good.
86
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,937
Now, don't open it.
Just give it to the man there,
87
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:52,107
and he'll give you a box of cigars
to bring back to me. Easy?
88
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:55,569
- Easy as pie.
- Okay, now what are you gonna do?
89
00:03:55,569 --> 00:04:00,574
Well, I'm supposed to go to pick up
a box of cigars at the...
90
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:05,787
"C.J. Ware Tobacco Company
at 180 Grant Street."
91
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,832
And I ain't to open up the envelope,
but just give it to the man,
92
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,877
and he'll give me a box of cigars,
and I bring 'em back here to you.
93
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,670
Fine, now,
that's all there is to it,
94
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,089
and Colonel Gray
will really appreciate it.
95
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,633
You mean I'm doin' this
for Colonel Gray?
96
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,136
Right. And he has to
have those cigars
97
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,596
in time to give to a congressman
98
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,556
when he gets here tomorrow.
Is that clear?
99
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,976
Clear as a shiny, new dime
at the bottom of a well.
100
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,479
Just make sure you do it right.
101
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,439
Oh, I will, it sure sounds important.
102
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,901
It is, and to save time,
take the company jeep.
103
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,068
Shazam!
104
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,070
It's sure fun to drive
the jeep into town.
105
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,865
- Everybody waves at you.
- You're not going to have fun!
106
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,577
You're going to bring back
a box of cigars! Now, move it!
107
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,830
Yes, sir, Sergeant.
And I'll be right back in a jiffy.
108
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,082
Good gracious,
I get to take the company jeep.
109
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,210
I get to double-clutch
and everything.
110
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,965
How'd she take it?
111
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,259
[sighing] She cried.
112
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:04,262
I still think you should have hitchhiked
into town just to see her.
113
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,430
Doesn't matter now, Gomer,
114
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,224
she was just getting ready
to call me to break the date.
115
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,810
- That's why she was cryin'.
- Really? How come?
116
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,603
One of the other
hostesses got sick,
117
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,146
and they called Patty
to fill in for her.
118
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,023
Oh, ain't that a shame.
119
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,567
She was cryin' so hard
I could hardly tell what she was saying.
120
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,319
Oh, bless her heart.
121
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,154
But you know
what they say, Duke,
122
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,615
"The course of true love
never does run smooth."
123
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,991
So you don't feel bad.
124
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,576
I'm just mad at myself.
125
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,412
Here I was worrying
about dining and dancing and...
126
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,791
You were right, Gomer. I should have gone
into town just to be with her.
127
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,751
I'd give anything
just to see her now.
128
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,672
Well, there's nothin' much
I can do about it now, I guess.
129
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,132
Why are you changin'?
Are you goin' in?
130
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,468
Uh-huh. While you was out
makin' a phone call,
131
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:44,845
Sergeant Carter come by here.
132
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,180
I got to go into town on an errand
for Colonel Gray
133
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,765
to get him a box of cigars.
134
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,433
That should make
an exciting Saturday.
135
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,060
It ain't too bad.
136
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,062
At least I don't have to
ride the bus into town.
137
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,356
Sergeant told me
I could use the company jeep.
138
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,024
Well, have fun.
139
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,069
The jeep?
140
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,488
You've got the jeep, Gomer?
You've really got the jeep?
141
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,115
- Uh-huh.
- What a break.
142
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,533
You can drive me to the airport,
143
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,827
and I can spend a little time
with Patty before she leaves!
144
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,370
I can't do that, Duke.
145
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,581
I got to go pick up the cigars
and come right back.
146
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,165
We'll come right back.
I'll go on your errand with you,
147
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,083
we'll come back together.
148
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,335
Come on, Gomer, you have to.
You just have to.
149
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:20,088
But Sergeant Carter didn't tell me
I could take anybody with me.
150
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,798
Yeah, but he didn't say
you couldn't.
151
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,550
Well, I guess
you're right about that.
152
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,885
We'll spend
a few minutes with Patty,
153
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,512
we'll pick up the cigars,
and we'll come right back. I promise.
154
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,555
Golly, Duke.
155
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,724
Please, Gomer.
Just a few minutes. Please.
156
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,310
But the airport's
a good 15 minutes from town.
157
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,396
That means it's 15 minutes goin',
and 15 minutes comin' back,
158
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,148
plus the time
you spend with Patty.
159
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,567
That makes my trip
about 40 minutes longer.
160
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,613
Gomer, a little while ago, you said,
161
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,073
"What good is a friend
if he can't help you?"
162
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,326
Well, now is your chance
to prove it.
163
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,828
A friend needs your help now,
164
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,622
desperately.
165
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:57,083
A friend who has one last chance
to see the woman he loves,
166
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,337
a friend who turns to you
as one last beacon of hope,
167
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:03,548
and only you
are in a position to help him.
168
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,508
Gomer...
169
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,886
I am that friend.
170
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,016
The decision is yours.
171
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,231
Okay, Duke, I'll take you.
172
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,943
Gomer, great.
Thanks, buddy. Thanks.
173
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,111
You better save
them hugs for Patty.
174
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,914
She should be around here somewhere.
She said she had a noontime flight.
175
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,916
There she is, Gomer.
There, there.
176
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,336
Beautiful, is she beautiful?
177
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,797
Patty! Patty!
178
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,091
Duke! Duke!
179
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,074
Honey. Oh, honey.
180
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,034
Oh, honey,
it's wonderful to see you.
181
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,996
[laughing] Oh, Duke.
I'm so glad you came.
182
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,040
Hey, we better watch it.
183
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,291
I'm on duty.
184
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,836
So, make like I'm a passenger
and welcome me.
185
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,796
- No, please.
- Honey, I missed you.
186
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,715
Oh, I missed you, too.
187
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,134
Oh, this is my good buddy
Gomer Pyle.
188
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,677
He drove me
down here to see you.
189
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,345
Gomer, this is my girlfriend,
Patty Gillette.
190
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,347
- Hi, Gomer.
- Hey, Miss Patty.
191
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,808
You're just as pretty
as Duke said you was.
192
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,018
Thank you.
193
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,311
It does my heart good
to see you two together.
194
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,980
It's like watchin' a happy endin'.
195
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,606
Ending? We're just beginning.
196
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,400
Don't forget, Duke,
we got that errand to run.
197
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,652
- I think we really ought to go.
- In a minute, Gomer.
198
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,487
Honey, when are we ever gonna
have any time together?
199
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,449
Oh, I thought we'd have time tonight.
I'm sorry about our date.
200
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:53,992
Me too, but this is better
than nothin'.
201
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,368
I think we'd better go, Duke.
202
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,663
We've been gone an hour already,
and we still got that errand to do.
203
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,206
Gomer, I just got here.
204
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,916
But Sergeant Carter is waitin',
205
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,294
and we've got to
pick up them cigars.
206
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,880
Okay, just one last kiss,
and then I'll go.
207
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,675
Oh, uh, uh,
I'll be right with you.
208
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,178
Oh, Duke, I'm sorry.
I really have to go.
209
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,513
Gomer, it's been
very nice meeting you. Goodbye.
210
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,307
- Goodbye, honey.
- Oh, goodbye.
211
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,392
Duke, Duke!
212
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,644
Hey, it's Sergeant Carter
and the General.
213
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,524
Holy smokes.
What's he doin' here?
214
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,942
He's duty sergeant
this weekend
215
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,445
and he probably had to bring
that there general out here.
216
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,282
What'll we do if he finds us?
217
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,825
I don't know.
218
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:37,952
In here.
219
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,371
Here.
220
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,380
I'll take the case
to your seat, sir.
221
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,218
- Is he still out there?
- I don't know.
222
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,845
Well, take a peek and see.
223
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,222
Okay.
224
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,612
Golly, Duke, this is some kettle of fish
you've gotten me into.
225
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,739
Take it easy, Gomer,
he'll be goin' in a minute.
226
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:17,033
I should have been back
with the cigars by now.
227
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,078
- We'll get 'em. Relax.
- I knew I shouldn't have done it.
228
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,913
I should have gone
straight to that store
229
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:24,582
and picked up the cigars
and gone right back to the base.
230
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:27,752
Look, Gomer, we'll be back
in less than an hour. I promise you.
231
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,295
Would I let you down?
232
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,798
Well, would I?
233
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,508
Look, I appreciate
what you did for me,
234
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,010
and I promise we'll be back
in plenty of time.
235
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,806
Golly, this is some kettle of fish
you've gotten me into, Duke.
236
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,976
Duke,
237
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,936
I think we're movin'.
238
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,729
Gomer, look,
I've been in jets before,
239
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,858
and when they take off,
man, they go straight up.
240
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:53,069
Believe me,
if we were takin' off, you'd know it.
241
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,787
Duke, Duke! We're up!
We're up, Duke! We're up!
242
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,414
Hold it, Gomer. Take it easy.
243
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,541
What am I gonna do
about the cigars?
244
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,793
Look, don't panic.
Don't worry.
245
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,337
Look, it only takes a half-hour
to get to San Francisco.
246
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,881
We'll catch
another plane right back,
247
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,632
and we'll have those cigars
in Sergeant Carter's hands
248
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,593
in less than two hours.
I promise you.
249
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,227
[over PA] Good afternoon.
This is your pilot, Captain Coloruso.
250
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:29,731
We'll be flying
at an altitude of 37,000 feet
251
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,400
at a speed of 630 miles an hour.
252
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,904
Weather conditions are excellent,
visibility is normal,
253
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:39,282
and we should be arriving
on time in Rome.
254
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,451
Rome!
255
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,871
Rome, Italy?
256
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,927
I checked the "Y",
the USO, the libraries,
257
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,596
the bowling alley, the PX.
No one's seen him all day.
258
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,140
Ten hours, it's been ten hours!
259
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,809
Maybe the jeep broke down,
and he had to walk to town and back.
260
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,187
In ten hours,
he could crawl to town and back!
261
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,855
- [knock on door]
- Come in!
262
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,774
Sergeant Carter,
I did everything you said.
263
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,401
I went to every movie house in town,
I couldn't find him.
264
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,779
- What about the cigar store?
- I went there, too.
265
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,864
The man said there were a lot
of Marines there today,
266
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,199
but he doesn't remember
seeing Pyle.
267
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,368
If he saw Pyle,
he'd remember him.
268
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,203
Where could he be,
the knucklehead?
269
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,788
Where could he be?
270
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,760
Ladies and gentlemen,
271
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,221
we have just landed
at the Rome airport.
272
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,806
Please remain in your seats
273
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,308
until the aircraft
comes to a complete stop.
274
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,395
On behalf of the entire crew,
may I say
275
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,981
we have been most happy
to have you aboard.
276
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,112
- [sighs]
- We're really here.
277
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,448
- We're really in Rome, Italy!
- Well, it's all your...
278
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,117
It's all your fault
279
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,952
sneaking on this plane
behind my back.
280
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,412
Well, honey,
we had to do somethin'.
281
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,455
- Well, what do we do now?
- What do we do now?
282
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,832
[both arguing]
283
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,626
[shushing] The first thing
we've got to do is relax.
284
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,295
Relax? You're talkin'
to two condemned men.
285
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,755
- You ask us to relax?
- They're gonna court-martial us.
286
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,132
That's what they're gonna do.
287
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,718
- They're gonna court-martial us.
- I know.
288
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,720
I knew I shouldn't have
disobeyed orders.
289
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,888
I should have gone
straight to that cigar store
290
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,557
and gone straight back
to the base.
291
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,600
I knew it. I just knew it.
292
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,811
We're in Rome. Rome!
293
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,273
We ain't just out of town!
We're in Rome, Italy!
294
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:39,360
Duke, we're only going to be in Rome
long enough for servicing and refueling.
295
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,405
Then it's just two short jumps
to Paris and London.
296
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,782
I can get you back home
on the very first plane.
297
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,327
You won't have been gone
for more than 24 hours.
298
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,704
Twenty-four hours?
299
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,789
Oh, Lord, Lord, Lord!
300
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,624
Rome, Paris, and London.
301
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,418
They're gonna court-martial us.
That's what...
302
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,921
Gomer, we're gonna be in the brig
for 15 years! We'll never have...
303
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,131
Boys, boys,
304
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,383
we're going to go
into the airport,
305
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,303
and I'm going to arrange
for you to make a phone call.
306
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:08,598
Uh, oh, uh, e-e-excuse me.
307
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,478
A phone call?
308
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,146
From Rome, Italy?
309
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,398
Why, that's long distance.
310
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:21,069
[both speaking Italian]
311
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,911
Yes, I'll hold!
312
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,498
They've got
the switchboard at the base.
313
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,294
Thank you!
314
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,380
Here, it's ringing.
315
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,801
Now, act like nothing's wrong.
Act real casual and real relaxed.
316
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,346
And don't let him suspect for a minute
that you're in Rome, Italy. Easy.
317
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:54,685
Hello! Hello? Sergeant Carter?
318
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,480
You sound nervous.
You sound too nervous. Calm down.
319
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,565
[shushing]
320
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,192
Hey, Sergeant.
321
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,277
I'll bet you'll never guess who this is.
322
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,571
Well, let me try.
323
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,408
From your voice, I'd say
you were a member of my platoon,
324
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,076
a Private Gomer Pyle.
325
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,704
But that can't be.
He met with a tragic accident.
326
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,581
But it is me, Sergeant.
327
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,917
I didn't meet
with no tragic accident.
328
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,753
Oh, no? Just wait till
I get my hands on you!
329
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,171
Where have you been
all day, Pyle?
330
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:25,425
Well, it's kind of hard to explain.
331
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,511
Don't tell him,
don't tell him where you are.
332
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,930
[both speaking loudly in Italian]
333
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,893
Pyle, what's all that racket?
334
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,230
Oh, I get it!
335
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,482
You stopped off for a pizza, huh?
336
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,943
[shushing] Telefono!
337
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,236
No, Sergeant,
338
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,823
but I did stop off
at an Italian place.
339
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,658
But just to get some gas.
340
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,286
Oh, no, Sergeant.
341
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,329
I didn't forget the cigars
for one minute.
342
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,958
Well, you hear this, Pyle,
and hear it good!
343
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,378
As soon as you get gas,
I want you to take off!
344
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,338
You hear me? Take off!
345
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,767
[telephone ringing]
346
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,021
[grunting]
347
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,068
All right, all right.
I'm comin', I'm comin'.
348
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,362
[groans]
349
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,578
[panting]
350
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:36,829
Hello.
351
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,581
Huh?
352
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,292
Pyle.
353
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,293
Pyle!
354
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,794
Hey, Sergeant.
355
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,380
- [woman over PA]
- You recognized my voice right off.
356
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,007
[Carter on phone] Listen, you blockhead!
357
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,676
- It's the middle of the night!
- What?
358
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,013
Oh, I didn't know it was that late.
359
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,516
You was asleep?
360
00:16:56,516 --> 00:17:01,521
Well, I don't blame you for bein' angry,
not for one minute. No, sir.
361
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,398
Where are you? I sent you in
this morning! I haven't seen...
362
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,566
What?
363
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,360
I didn't quite get that.
364
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,529
Where am I?
365
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:14,325
Uh, well, it's kind of
hard to pinpoint.
366
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,244
- He wants to know where I am.
- Tell him your in...
367
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,537
Oh, pardon.
368
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:21,290
[speaking French]
369
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,673
Uh, thank you, ma'am,
and same to you.
370
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,759
So that's it, huh, Pyle?
371
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:34,136
First the pizza,
and now you're winding things up
372
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,805
at the C'est Si Bon Club.
373
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,891
Oh, that's silly, Sergeant.
374
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,352
How could I get you arrested for murder?
375
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,312
Oh.
376
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,773
He's gonna kill me.
377
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:51,404
All right, Sergeant.
I'll get back there just as fast as I can.
378
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,873
MAN [over PA] Announcing
the departure of flight 110
379
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,959
for Manchester...
380
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,461
Duke! Here!
381
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:12,174
Oh, these were
the very last two seats left.
382
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,427
Oh, Duke, I put them
on my credit card.
383
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,429
- Don't forget that.
- I won't.
384
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,139
Your plane leaves
in a few minutes,
385
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,099
and you'll be home in ten hours.
386
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,559
You're terrific, baby.
387
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,855
MAN [over PA] Announcing
the departure of flight 707
388
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,566
to New York and Los Angeles.
389
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:32,403
Passengers will please proceed
to embarkation point D.
390
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,865
[sighs] Uh, well, I...
391
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,700
I guess that's your plane.
392
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,119
Better hurry.
393
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,787
Oh, are you lucky.
394
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,248
It's the only flight out on Sunday.
395
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,543
Sunday? Did you say Sunday?
396
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,879
Well, yes, today is Sunday.
397
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,714
It's Sunday, Duke, it's Sunday.
398
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,132
That cigar store will be closed,
399
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,343
and I won't be able to buy
those cigars for the Colonel.
400
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,803
Gomer, are you worried about cigars now?
Let's get out of here.
401
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,347
But I got to. I promised.
402
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,016
Well, they sell cigars
right over there, Gomer. Hurry.
403
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:05,519
MAN [over PA] Mr. Robert Saunders,
kindly report to the...
404
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,730
Mister, my plane's
about to take off,
405
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,399
and I need these cigars
real desperate like.
406
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,568
Ah, you Americans,
always in a hurry.
407
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,403
How'd you know
I was an American?
408
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,242
"El Fina Corona."
409
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,912
I'm frightfully sorry, sir.
We don't carry that brand.
410
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,872
Oh, that's terrible.
411
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,791
But if I can make a suggestion, sir,
412
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,709
this is a fine corona.
413
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,169
It's a lovely shape
414
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,922
and an ever-so-mild smoke,
you know.
415
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,173
Well, uh,
416
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,760
hey, Duke. Duke, come here.
417
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,805
He ain't got the kind
that I wanted.
418
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,264
These are the very best
we handle.
419
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,935
Gomer, are you gonna be choosy now?
Grab any box. Let's go.
420
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,521
Well, I guess I'd better
take somethin' back.
421
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,189
Is this enough?
422
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,233
Well, that will do nicely.
423
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,442
Yes.
424
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,153
Here are your cigars.
425
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,281
And, uh, here's your change.
426
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,409
Thank you. I've got to run.
427
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,494
It sure was nice meetin' you.
428
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,086
Do you realize
how long he's been gone?
429
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,713
Twenty-three and one-half hours.
430
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,006
Twenty-three and one-half hours.
431
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,426
I'll kill him!
No, I'll court-martial him!
432
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,220
No, first, I'll court-martial him
and then I'll kill him!
433
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,305
- [telephone rings]
- Would you mind?
434
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,767
Hello? Colonel Gray, sir?
435
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:27,893
Yes, sir.
436
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,770
You want to speak
to Sergeant Carter.
437
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,356
Well, Sergeant Carter
isn't here right now, sir.
438
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,108
Well, no, sir.
439
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,944
No, sir. Uh, no.
I--I don't know where he is.
440
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,531
Well, yes, sir, yes, sir,
I'll tell him as soon as he comes in.
441
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:41,866
Yes, sir.
442
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,201
Phew. He sounded pretty angry, Sarge.
443
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,619
Oh!
444
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,460
[mumbling]
445
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:56,964
Hey, Sergeant.
446
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,719
[yawns]
447
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,179
Excuse me.
448
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,681
I brought your cigars.
449
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,642
Made quite a night
of it, huh, Pyle?
450
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,061
Fall in over in front
of that desk!
451
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,276
Now, you stand at attention!
452
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,320
You stay just like that, Pyle.
453
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,530
Don't move, not one inch!
454
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:25,075
I'm coming back to see you.
I'm coming right back.
455
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,665
We always look forward
to your visit here
456
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,626
with a great deal
of pleasure, Congressman.
457
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,294
The feeling's mutual,
Colonel.
458
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,797
You people really know
how to make a man feel welcome.
459
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:38,964
[knocking on door]
460
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,341
Come in.
461
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,595
Sergeant Carter
reporting as ordered, sir.
462
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,768
Uh, if this is what I think it is,
463
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:52,812
it's for you, Congressman.
464
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,772
You never forget, do you?
465
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,402
Is there, uh, anything wrong?
466
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,530
This isn't the kind I smoke.
467
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,409
This is a special
English market selection.
468
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:09,245
Best cigar in the world.
469
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:12,706
I'll bet you pulled some strings
to get these, Colonel.
470
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:15,709
I've never been able to find them
any place in this country.
471
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,044
Well, sir, uh...
472
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,547
Leave it to the Marines.
473
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,215
[chuckling nervously]
474
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,967
[laughing nervously]
475
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,970
That's what I call a cigar.
476
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,561
[laughing]
477
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,271
Pyle...
478
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:38,649
Pyle.
479
00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:40,568
- [snoring]
- Pyle!
480
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:45,114
Okay, so, you had yourself a fling.
481
00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:48,075
So, you did the town
from one end to the other. So what?
482
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:52,079
Am I the kind of guy to get upset
over a little thing like that, huh?
483
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,915
You even brought the wrong cigars.
484
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,500
So what?
485
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,252
I couldn't help it, Sergeant.
486
00:22:58,252 --> 00:23:01,171
You see, I had to buy 'em
at a different store.
487
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,257
Well, you just remember that store,
488
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:05,551
because the next time
the Congressman comes here,
489
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:08,846
you're gonna have to go back there
and get those same cigars.
490
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:20,274
[knocking on door]
491
00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:21,483
Come in.
492
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,070
Hello, Pyle.
493
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,072
Hey, Sergeant.
494
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,699
Where are you goin'?
495
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:32,328
Three-day pass, Pyle,
compliments of Colonel Gray.
496
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:34,580
Golly.
497
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:38,751
Yep, I might even go
all the way to San Francisco.
498
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,085
Really?
499
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,255
Well, I sure am glad
I caught you before you left.
500
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:45,049
Pyle, what did you do now?
501
00:23:45,049 --> 00:23:48,802
Nothin'. I just wanted to give you
the change from that box of cigars.
502
00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:51,805
Thanks, Pyle.
503
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:54,141
Well, have a good time.
504
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,151
Three shillings?
38326
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