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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,171 [marching band playing] 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,929 [male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC. 3 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,350 Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle. 4 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,813 Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter. 5 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,950 All right. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. 6 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,827 Now let me get this straight, you want us all to chip in 7 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,371 and buy Sergeant Carter a birthday present? 8 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,081 [in southern accent] That's exactly right. 9 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,165 You're kidding! Why? 10 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:43,168 Well, he helped us all get through boot camp, 11 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,711 - you included. - That's some favor. 12 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,755 Sometimes I think he got us through boot camp 13 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,674 just so he could have another crack at us now. 14 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,678 Now that's downright foolish, Duke, and you know it. 15 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,388 You don't give somebody a gift 16 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,682 just because they done somethin' nice for you. 17 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,517 That ain't the true spirit of givin'. 18 00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:02,104 You give somebody a gift because you wanna give it to 'em. 19 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,982 Didn't you know it's more blessed to give than to receive? 20 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,608 Kill me. 21 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,318 I'm surprised at you, Duke. 22 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,862 A man's birthday is an important thing. 23 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:14,241 Especially this one, it's Sergeant Carter's 35th one. 24 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,243 Now, that's a real important one. 25 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,953 Well, so was my 25th birthday, 26 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,038 and you know what I did on my 25th birthday? 27 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,999 In the morning, I took a 12-mile hike, 28 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,376 in the afternoon, I had three hours of calisthenics, 29 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,212 and at night, I had eight hours of guard duty. 30 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,214 See? Because of Sergeant Carter, 31 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,009 you'll always remember your 25th birthday. 32 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,303 Gomer, you're unbelievable. 33 00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,763 Well, I ain't askin' for a whole lot. 34 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,141 We could get Sergeant Carter a real nice gift 35 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:42,060 if every man in the squad would chip in one dollar. 36 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,813 One dollar? What do I look like, a millionaire? 37 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,398 Gomer, do you know what a dollar means? 38 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:49,192 A dollar's a lot of money. You can buy a lot of things with a dollar. 39 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,445 A dollar, that's five beers. 40 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,322 That ain't much, Duke. 41 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:56,575 If you wanted to, you'd give up them five beers. 42 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,452 All right, to show you what a nice guy I am, 43 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,412 I'll chip in two and a half beers, fifty cents. 44 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,831 Come one, Duke, make it five beers. 45 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,334 - Three beers? - Five beers? 46 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,254 All right, five beers. One dollar. 47 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,214 Come on, let's get it up. Everybody, get it up. 48 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,758 One dollar, one dollar. 49 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,301 They ought to send you out at Christmas time 50 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,427 with a tambourine, Gomer. 51 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,429 Come on, Larry, get it up. 52 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,265 Thanks, Duke. 53 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,267 You know, you're a real good person. 54 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,935 Now we just gotta figure out what we can get 55 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,270 Sergeant Carter for his birthday. 56 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,688 How about a bullhorn? 57 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,316 His voice is so low, I can hardly hear him. 58 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,568 You got a real good sense of humor, Duke, 59 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,153 but I think we ought to pick out 60 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,946 somethin' special for the Sergeant. 61 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,698 I think we ought to get him a sentimental gift. 62 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,909 A sentimental gift? How about a whip? 63 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,120 Come on, fellers, now this is serious. 64 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,664 Look, Gomer, this was your idea, 65 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,041 so I nominate you to pick out the gift. 66 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,918 - No, I think... - All those in favor say "aye." 67 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,336 - [all] Aye. - The "ayes" have it. 68 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,255 You won the election, you pick out the gift. 69 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,595 Well, good afternoon, Private. May I help you? 70 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,264 Yeah. I'm lookin' to buy my Sergeant somethin'. 71 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,058 Tomorrow's his birthday. 72 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,435 It's his 35th, and that's a real important one. 73 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,646 Oh, you bet it is. What do you have in mind? 74 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,816 Well, you see, all the fellers in the squad chipped in, 75 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:13,026 and we wanna get him somethin' real nice. 76 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,404 Well, we have some handsome gift items over here, 77 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:19,199 uh, cigarette lighters, cuff links, tie clasps... 78 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,369 If you don't mind my asking, uh, what would you like to spend? 79 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,705 Oh, I'd like to spend a hundred dollars. 80 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,997 Oh! 81 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,416 But I only got 16. 82 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,710 Oh. 83 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,547 Well, I'm sure we can find something here for 16 dollars that you'll like. 84 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:38,260 Say, how about this imported pocketknife with two blades? 85 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,928 My, that sure is pretty. 86 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,304 Scissors. 87 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,223 Well, what do you know about that? 88 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,267 Screwdriver. 89 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,310 Well, looky there, a real screwdriver. 90 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,229 Bottle opener. 91 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,149 My, that sure is handy. I think he'd like that a lot. 92 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,025 Nail file. 93 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,361 Aw, shoot. He's got one. 94 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,989 No sense in givin' him somethin' he's already got. 95 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,282 Of course not. 96 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,492 That's a shame. That knife would be perfect 97 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,287 if it didn't have that nail file on it. 98 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,122 Hey, what's that right there? 99 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,332 - This? - No, to the left. 100 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,751 - This? - No, I'm sorry, 101 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,377 to my left, not your left. 102 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,254 - This? - Forward a little. 103 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,423 - This? - No, I'm sorry, it's forward to me, 104 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,883 but it's backwards to you. 105 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,676 - This? - In front of that. 106 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,344 - This? - No, I mean behind it. 107 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,346 - This? - Yeah. 108 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,681 It's a cigarette lighter. 109 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,057 Oh. He's got one. 110 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,937 Why don't you just give him a 16 dollar gift certificate? 111 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,647 Oh, we couldn't do that. 112 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,983 We've got to get him a sentimental gift. 113 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,109 Sentimental. 114 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,447 Hey, is this watch here very expensive? 115 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,783 Well, that is a little more than you have to spend. 116 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,034 It sure is a beauty though, huh? 117 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,077 It's not only a watch, it's also a calendar. 118 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:49,873 Well, I'll be dogged. A calendar? 119 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,958 Is it much more than 16 dollars? 120 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,585 Well... 121 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,837 'Cause if it is, I guess I'll just have to keep lookin' here 122 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:56,963 till I find somethin' else. 123 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,632 Oh. 124 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,009 Well, um, I'll tell you what, uh, 125 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,428 since you're being so nice to your sergeant, uh, 126 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,139 I'm gonna let you have this watch for 16 dollars. 127 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,265 Shazam! 128 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,434 Well, that sure is nice of you. 129 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,102 I'll never forget you for this. 130 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,563 - Oh, that's all right. - There's just one more thing. 131 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,773 What's that? 132 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,858 Can I have somethin' engraved on the back of it? 133 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,237 Oh, absolutely. I'll even include it in the 16 dollars. 134 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,697 Well, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. 135 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:25,534 - My pleasure. - Listen, you won't be sorry. 136 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:26,993 'Cause I promise, from now on, 137 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,287 I'll do all of my shoppin' right here. 138 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,835 When do you think we should give it to him? 139 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,628 What's the matter with right now? 140 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,047 Why not? After all, it's his birthday. 141 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,174 Let's go over to the company office and surprise him. 142 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,509 Right. 143 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,760 [chattering] 144 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,388 [Carter] Where are you goin'? 145 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,849 Out to goof off a little? 146 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,642 [Gomer] No, sir. 147 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,310 You bet you're not! 148 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,729 And wipe that silly grin off your face! 149 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,941 Now, all of you, hear me and hear me good! 150 00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,778 I'm sick and tired of your sloppy, careless ways! 151 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,321 This squad is becoming 152 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,783 a bunch of thoughtless, forgetful pumpkin heads! 153 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,326 I think you'd forget your own heads 154 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,995 if they weren't tied to your shoulders! 155 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,582 Cochran and Pyle, you both forgot to lock up your rifles! 156 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,083 Gottschalk, Slater, and Pyle, 157 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,502 you're forgetting to keep your wall lockers closed! 158 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:21,089 Felcher, you forgot to fill your canteen! 159 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:24,342 And, Pyle, you forgot to salute an officer 160 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,969 coming out of the mess hall this morning! 161 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,721 You're just lucky he didn't see you! 162 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,973 And that's just part of the list. 163 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,350 Now, we've been through all of this before, 164 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,353 so I'm telling you for the last time, 165 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:38,148 you better not forget one more thing! 166 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,025 Because if you do, 167 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:43,028 if you forget one more thing... 168 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,780 Sergeant? There's one thing we didn't forget. 169 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,242 That's wonderful, Pyle. 170 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,370 One thing! One thing you didn't forget? 171 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,706 I can't wait to hear what it is! 172 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,459 What didn't you forget, knucklehead? 173 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,336 Happy birthday. 174 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,255 [all] Happy birthday, Sarge. 175 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,549 Gee, 176 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:07,928 y-you--you fellas didn't have to do this. 177 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,388 I know we didn't have to. We wanted to. 178 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,725 It's, uh, nice. 179 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,519 It's-- It's real nice. 180 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,229 I don't know what to say. 181 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,941 Well, open it up. 182 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,692 All right. See what's in there. 183 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,861 PRIVATE 1 : Just take a look, Sarge. 184 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,989 [paper rustling] 185 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,785 Hey, that's real nice. 186 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,996 - [all chattering] - Hey, it's a watch. 187 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,165 And--And it matches my ID bracelet. 188 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,918 It's a calendar, too. See that "24" on there? 189 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,504 That means it's the 24th of the month. 190 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,214 It don't tell you the month. 191 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,882 You got to remember that yourself. 192 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,010 [Duke] Look who's talkin' about havin' to remember things, 193 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,346 the guy that forgot to salute the officer. 194 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:56,434 I sure picked some day to chew you guys out, huh? 195 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,061 [Larry] Oh, forget it, Sarge. 196 00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,313 Well, it--it--it's beautiful, fellas. 197 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,190 I appreciate it. Uh, I really do. 198 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,110 Look on the back of the watch, on the back there. 199 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,822 [Duke] Read it, Sarge. 200 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:14,035 "With all our esteem on your 35th birthday." 201 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,705 Thanks, fellas. 202 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,748 I'll always remember this birthday. 203 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:22,002 This is an important one. This is your 35th. 204 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,921 Yeah. That is kind of a milestone, huh? 205 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,506 Gee, Sarge, 35? 206 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,342 That's almost the same age as me and Burns put together. 207 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,887 That's right. I never thought of that. 208 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,515 How long you been in the Marines, Sarge? 209 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:40,311 Let's see, um, I guess it's 18 years. 210 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,147 Yeah, 1946. 211 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,815 Hey, that's the year I was born. 212 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,359 [Duke] Gosh, Sarge, you've been in the Marines 213 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,111 more than half your life. 214 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,904 That's right, I have. 215 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:55,035 Boy, how time flies, huh? 216 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:58,663 Seems like just yesterday I was in Korea. 217 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,291 - That was 1950. - [Gomer] 1950? 218 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,002 You was in Korea and I was in grade school. 219 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,046 Miss Costello, 7B. 220 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,090 [Duke] Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Gomer? 221 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,634 While Sergeant Carter was over in Korea fightin' for our country, 222 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,429 there you were in Mayberry, just learnin' how to read and write. 223 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,098 Well, the Marines sure haven't hurt you none, Sergeant. 224 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,684 I hope I look as good as you do when I'm 35. 225 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,688 Thanks. 226 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,524 PRIVATE 2: Gee, 35. You're only three years younger than my dad. 227 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,735 [all chuckling] 228 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,946 Well, uh... Thanks again, fellas, 229 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,365 for the present. 230 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,993 I sure am glad we helped to make this 231 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,621 a happy birthday for you, Sergeant. 232 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,915 Yeah. Thanks, Pyle. 233 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,501 Thanks a lot. 234 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,885 You know, Gome, I gotta hand it to you, 235 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:57,013 you really got to the Sarge. He was really touched. 236 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,015 You know, I'm glad you talked me into it. 237 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,726 That wasn't worth five beers to me, that was worth 40 beers. 238 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,853 He sure looked like he appreciated it. 239 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,940 When he left, he could hardly talk, he was so happy. 240 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,915 "With all of our esteem on your 35th birthday." 241 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,087 35th birthday. 242 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,349 MAN [over radio] ...and it contains only health-giving ingredients. 243 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,184 So remember that name, folks, 244 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,896 Rejuvenate, the tonic that makes you feel young again. 245 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:51,359 Remember, Rejuvenate is made especially for you people over 35. 246 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,903 That's the age when you start feeling... 247 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,364 [commentator 1] Experience and a good left hook will win for him. 248 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,199 That's why I think the champ will retain 249 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,493 his heavyweight championship in tonight's bout. 250 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,495 [commentator 2] Well, I have to disagree with you, Jerry. 251 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,831 I think age is gonna make the difference. 252 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,624 The challenger's young and aggressive, 253 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,418 and I don't think the champ can make it 254 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,462 if he has to go 15 rounds against his youthful challenger. 255 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,382 The champ's stamina and legs just aren't what they used to be. 256 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,801 You have to remember, he's no kid anymore. 257 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:20,180 He's 32 now, and many of us feel that he's over the... 258 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,181 [clicks off] 259 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,650 [bugle playing reveille] 260 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,039 I wonder where Sergeant Carter is. 261 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,333 He ain't never been late for reveille before. 262 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,793 Must have been out celebratin' his birthday last night. 263 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,217 I didn't hear the bugler. I had the windows closed. 264 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,469 I guess that little extra sleep felt good, Sergeant, 265 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,721 especially after your 35th birthday. 266 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,642 What do you mean by that crack? 267 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,144 I didn't mean it as no crack, Sergeant. 268 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,396 We just thought maybe you was out celebratin' last night... 269 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,689 Don't play games with me, Pyle! 270 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,899 I know what you're thinkin'! 271 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,277 - You think I'm getting old, right? - No, Sergeant... 272 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,529 Yeah, that's what you're all thinkin', isn't it? 273 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,031 Yeah, sure, I know, 274 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,242 you were born the year I joined the Marines! 275 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,578 And you were in kindergarten when I was fightin' in Korea! 276 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,705 Well, let me tell you all something! 277 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,208 I can still run the whole lot of you 278 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,001 into the ground any day of the week! 279 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:36,130 And just to prove it, let's do some deep knee bends right now! 280 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,632 Come on! 281 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:41,344 All you have to do is as many as old Sergeant Carter! 282 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,512 All right? 283 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,846 Hands on hips! 284 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,975 Put those hands down until I say "Place"! 285 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,519 Hands on hips! Place! 286 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,729 Ready? Exercise! 287 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,691 Hut! Two! Hut! Two! 288 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,693 Hut! Two! Hut... 289 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,987 - [groans] - [Gomer] What's the matter, Sergeant? 290 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,363 Don't touch me, Pyle! I'm all right. 291 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:03,324 Please, Sergeant. I think I can help you. Please let me try. 292 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,617 My back! 293 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,868 [yells in pain] 294 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,082 Hey, it's okay. 295 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,418 You did that like you knew what you were doin'. 296 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,086 Well, I've had a lot of practice. 297 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,588 My grandma used to have the same thing you just had. 298 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,549 I used to straighten her out. 299 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,926 Poor thing, though, she started walkin' crooked. 300 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,303 Your grandma? 301 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,763 Uh-huh. It come to her in her twilight years. 302 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,557 Get back in formation, Pyle. 303 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,600 But you ought to rest a while, Sergeant. 304 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,020 That's what grandma used to do after she had an attack like that. 305 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,314 I said, "Get back in formation"! 306 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,441 - She'd put a mustard plaster... - Pyle! 307 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,279 Now let's start again! 308 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,906 Hands on hips! Place! 309 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,784 Ready? Exercise! Hut! 310 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,411 [groans in pain] 311 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:49,912 Don't touch me, Pyle! 312 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,373 Maybe you ought not do anymore of them deep knee bends. 313 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,791 I could get some dry mustard... 314 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,668 I'm not your grandmother! 315 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,129 Now, this is different. I'm perfectly all right. 316 00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,423 It's-- It's just an old war injury from Korea. 317 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,633 It acts up now and then. 318 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,927 But I'd better get over to sick bay just to play it safe. 319 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,888 That's what I call a real smart idea. 320 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,848 You go over to sick bay and play it safe. 321 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,558 I'll be right back. 322 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,022 What are you gawking at? 323 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,690 Get busy policing up the area! 324 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,025 All of you! 325 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,616 [exclaiming] He's startin' to walk crooked, 326 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,618 just like grandma, poor thing. 327 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,955 The pain in your side, is it gone now? 328 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,374 Yes, sir. 329 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,085 Despite the bent position you're now in? 330 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,798 I'm sorry, sir. 331 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,092 Look, Sergeant, there's nothing for you to worry about. 332 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,135 You had a simple muscle cramp, that's all. 333 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,553 It's nothing else? 334 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,306 Nothing else, but don't forget one thing, 335 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,601 you can't make those sudden moves like you did when you were younger. 336 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,645 Younger? What do you mean, sir? 337 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,022 You know, like you did a few years ago. 338 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,733 It's nothing like hardening of the arteries, is it, sir? 339 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,403 You're fine, Sergeant. 340 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,488 Yes, sir. 341 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,058 I don't understand, Private. 342 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,853 Why are you so concerned about Sergeant Carter's back? 343 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,564 Well, I apologize for takin' up your time, sir, 344 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:43,568 but Sergeant Carter's really got me worried, and the other fellers, too. 345 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,069 It ain't only his back. 346 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,988 He just hasn't been actin' hisself lately. 347 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,991 He's been kind of mopin' around ever since the party. 348 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,660 - Party? What party? - His birthday party. 349 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,079 The fellers all chipped in and we gave him a watch. 350 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,290 He just turned 35. 351 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,959 Oh, so that's it, 35-it is. 352 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,671 - 35-it is? - It's a common ailment. 353 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:08,885 You see, Private, some men feel when they reach the age of 35, 354 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,888 it marks the end of their youth and the beginning of middle age. 355 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,640 Quite often, they start imagining all sorts of aches and pains. 356 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,601 But the pain that Sergeant Carter had 357 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,394 sure seemed real enough to me. 358 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,731 Of course. And if Carter continues to worry about getting old, 359 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,525 he'll actually feel pain even though nothing's wrong with him. 360 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,818 In technical language, 361 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,778 that sort of condition is known as psychosomatic. 362 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,824 Psychoso... Psychosomatic. 363 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,451 In a few days, your sergeant's confidence 364 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,703 will come back to him and everything will be okay. 365 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,497 Well, thank you, sir. 366 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,376 - Psychoso... - Psychosomatic. 367 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:46,047 Lordy, there's a lot of sicknesses these days. 368 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,638 Hey, what's the matter with you kids? 369 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,598 Those packs too heavy, huh? 370 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,392 I'm 35 years old. Look at me, huh? 371 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:02,230 Oh, all right, you weaklings, halt! 372 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,564 Take five. 373 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,696 Well, well, well. 374 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,406 Tired are we, huh? 375 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:16,994 Maybe I should charter a bus to come all the way out here 376 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,915 and pick us all up and take us back to camp, huh? 377 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,503 Golly, Sergeant, just look at you. 378 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,838 All of us is just as tuckered as we can be. 379 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,424 Just look at you, you ain't hardly worked up a sweat yet. 380 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,929 Well, I'll give you kids a little tip. 381 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,139 Always carry a candy bar in your pack. 382 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,183 [Carter] It gives you that extra energy when you need it. 383 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,893 I've got one right here, Sergeant. 384 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,895 Then give it to him, he needs it. 385 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,948 Who did this? 386 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:55,783 Who? 387 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,956 Why, Pyle? 388 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,958 Why'd you do it? 389 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:07,962 Well, it was... It was just that you'd been feelin' poorly lately, 390 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:11,007 and this is just a way to help you get you over that bad period 391 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,509 and get your old confidence back. 392 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,136 With straw? 393 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,763 Rocks, I can understand. 394 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,433 That might get my confidence back, but straw? 395 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,476 Well... 396 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,936 Thanks, Pyle! 397 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,396 Thanks a lot! 398 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:28,524 Just tryin' to make an old man feel young, right? 399 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:31,902 [groans] 400 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,489 Come here, come here, come here. 401 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,782 Hey, guys, Wait'll you hear this. 402 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,576 - [all] What? What? - You won't believe it. 403 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:39,994 We're losin' Sergeant Carter. 404 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,038 PRIVATE 1 : Sergeant Carter? PRIVATE 2: Why? What happened? 405 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,206 I don't believe it. Sergeant Carter? Where would he go? 406 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,375 He's askin' to be transferred to a desk job. 407 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,960 Golly! Are you sure, Duke? 408 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,629 Well, that's what Farley Obitz said and he ought to know. 409 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,088 He's a clerk over at headquarters. 410 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,590 - Did he tell you why, Duke? - Yeah. 411 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,550 Carter thinks he's gettin' too old to be a duty sergeant 412 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,093 so instead, he's gonna be pushin' a pencil. 413 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,846 Well, all I got to say is, I feel sorry for the pencil. 414 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,391 That's good, Larry. Hey, Gome, Larry says... 415 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,435 Where'd he go? 416 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,604 Don't you understand, Private? 417 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,481 That was just the wrong thing to do. 418 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,067 I didn't say you should make it easy for him. 419 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,653 That will only convince him he can't do it himself. 420 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,738 The only thing that will help him gain back his confidence 421 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,824 is if he proves to himself he can still pull his own load. 422 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,036 He has to find out he's a man who can carry his own weight. 423 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,497 Then he'll get over his psychosemantics? 424 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,333 Yes. 425 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,296 Gomer, I wanna be the first to say this, you're crazy! 426 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,881 Believe me, Duke, this'll work. 427 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,550 And you want us to ask Sergeant Carter to take us on a hike? 428 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,760 Uh-huh. 429 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,970 I've already packed his pack here with rocks. 430 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,555 Rocks? 431 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,391 [thud] 432 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,184 When he finds out he carried a pack this heavy, 433 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,436 he'll be all over his psychosemantics. 434 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,189 - His what? - That's doctor talk. 435 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,273 Now, come on, fellers. 436 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:54,735 Y'all don't want Sergeant Carter to leave us, now do you? 437 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,820 [all] Well... 438 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:01,158 What is this, a coffee klatch? I ain't transferred yet. 439 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:04,370 Hey, Sergeant. We was just talkin' about you. 440 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,748 - My day is made. - Since you're gonna be Ieavin' us, 441 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,375 we thought it would be real nice 442 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,168 if you took us on sort of a goin'-away hike. 443 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,212 Huh? 444 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,464 We sure would appreciate it, wouldn't we, fellers? 445 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,634 - [all] Yeah. - See? 446 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,136 You're kidding! 447 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:22,638 You mean you want me to take you on a hike? 448 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:26,225 You know, for sentimental reasons, somethin' we could remember you by. 449 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,186 Pyle, if anyone else but you said this, 450 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,897 I'd swear they were pulling my leg. 451 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,315 All right. 452 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,443 It's a hike you want, it's a hike you'll get. 453 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:38,195 Everybody fall out with full field packs! 454 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,656 Come on, let's move, let's move! 455 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,492 Come on, move it! 456 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,703 Um, I just knew you'd do it, Sergeant, 457 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,539 so I went ahead and fixed your pack for you. 458 00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:49,665 Oh, no. 459 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,126 We've been all through that, remember? 460 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,545 Forget it! You guys wanted the hike. 461 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,505 I'm just going along for the company. 462 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,341 All right, fall out! Come on, move it, move it, move it! 463 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,678 - Thanks a lot, Gomer! - Yeah, you and your great ideas! 464 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,730 [Carter] Squad, halt! 465 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,232 On your feet, Pyle! You asked for this hike! 466 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:16,817 Oh! 467 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,402 Pyle, get... 468 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,863 What's the matter, Pyle, are you hurt? 469 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:24,074 Twisted my ankle, and it pains me somethin' awful. 470 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,452 - Here, let me take a look at it. - [yelling] 471 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:32,333 Looks all right to me. See if you can walk on it. 472 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:41,133 It's no use, Sarge. Maybe it's broken. 473 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,302 It's not broken. 474 00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,721 Now somebody's gonna have to 475 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,264 carry you all the way back to camp. 476 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,641 I guess so. 477 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,769 You're the only one that's not wearin' a pack. 478 00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:03,906 What are you doin', Pyle? 479 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,616 I'm eatin' a candy bar. 480 00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,993 You remember, said it was good for energy on a hike? 481 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,162 - Hey, you want a bite? - No! 482 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,254 Squad! Halt! 483 00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,423 Left face! 484 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,135 All right, the rest of you men fall out. 485 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,595 [all] Aye, aye, sir! 486 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:31,308 All right, come on, Pyle. I'll take you over to sick bay. 487 00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:34,562 Well, uh, uh, Sergeant, you see, uh... 488 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,105 What's wrong? 489 00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:38,649 Well, look, my foot seems a whole lot better. 490 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:39,900 Look... 491 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,153 I can walk just fine. 492 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:47,408 Truth is, it wasn't ever really that bad. 493 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,119 Oh, I get it, 494 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,246 that was a sentimental hike? 495 00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:53,873 You wanted to make a fool out of me? 496 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,875 I carried you five miles for nothing? 497 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,835 I ought to kill you for this, Pyle! 498 00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,170 Don't say for nothin', Sergeant. 499 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:01,839 You carried me, and look at you, 500 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:04,383 you ain't out of breath, you ain't even tired. 501 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,594 See? You're strong. 502 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:08,929 You're just as strong as you always was. 503 00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,348 And you thought you couldn't carry your own weight. 504 00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:14,059 Why, you can carry your weight and mine, too. 505 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,312 Now, if that don't give you your confidence back, 506 00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,771 I don't know what will. 507 00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,899 A man that can do all of that, 508 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:22,526 he'd be wastin' his time behind a desk. 509 00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,570 Yeah. 510 00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:28,449 See? Now you're all over your psychosemantics. 511 00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,451 What? 512 00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,495 Nothin'. Just, "Welcome back." 513 00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:36,457 Thanks, Pyle. 514 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,718 Good-lookin' watch, Vince. 515 00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:50,346 - Sure was nice of the guys. - Yeah. 516 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:52,389 Yeah, you know, I remember when I was a kid. 517 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,850 Things were so tough, that I didn't get a birthday present 518 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,352 till I was 11 years old. 519 00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,604 My family had it rough, too. 520 00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,189 I was born right in the middle of it, 521 00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:03,567 year of the crash, 1929. 522 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:06,445 My old man worked morning, noon and night. 523 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,323 - He was never sure where his next... - Hey, Sergeant? 524 00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:12,952 How much is nine from fifteen? 525 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:17,122 Six! What's the matter, can't you subtract? 526 00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:19,792 There were days when we didn't even have enough to eat. 527 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,794 Two from five is three. 528 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,879 Hey, Sergeant, do you know somethin'? 529 00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:27,424 You ain't 35, you're 36. How 'bout that? 530 00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:30,260 And all the time you thought you was 35, you're really 36. 531 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,762 Pyle, rake that area! 532 00:24:31,762 --> 00:24:33,806 [yelling] Come on, move, move, move, move... 40677

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