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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,171
[marching band playing]
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,929
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,350
Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,813
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,950
All right. Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
6
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,827
Now let me get this straight,
you want us all to chip in
7
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,371
and buy Sergeant Carter
a birthday present?
8
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,081
[in southern accent]
That's exactly right.
9
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,165
You're kidding! Why?
10
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:43,168
Well, he helped us
all get through boot camp,
11
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,711
- you included.
- That's some favor.
12
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,755
Sometimes I think
he got us through boot camp
13
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,674
just so he could
have another crack at us now.
14
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,678
Now that's downright foolish,
Duke, and you know it.
15
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,388
You don't give
somebody a gift
16
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,682
just because they done
somethin' nice for you.
17
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,517
That ain't the true
spirit of givin'.
18
00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:02,104
You give somebody a gift
because you wanna give it to 'em.
19
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,982
Didn't you know it's more blessed
to give than to receive?
20
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,608
Kill me.
21
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,318
I'm surprised at you, Duke.
22
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,862
A man's birthday is
an important thing.
23
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:14,241
Especially this one,
it's Sergeant Carter's 35th one.
24
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,243
Now, that's a real
important one.
25
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,953
Well, so was
my 25th birthday,
26
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,038
and you know what I did
on my 25th birthday?
27
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,999
In the morning,
I took a 12-mile hike,
28
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,376
in the afternoon,
I had three hours of calisthenics,
29
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,212
and at night,
I had eight hours of guard duty.
30
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,214
See?
Because of Sergeant Carter,
31
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,009
you'll always remember
your 25th birthday.
32
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,303
Gomer, you're unbelievable.
33
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,763
Well, I ain't askin'
for a whole lot.
34
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,141
We could get Sergeant Carter
a real nice gift
35
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:42,060
if every man in the squad
would chip in one dollar.
36
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,813
One dollar? What do I look like,
a millionaire?
37
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,398
Gomer, do you know
what a dollar means?
38
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:49,192
A dollar's a lot of money. You can
buy a lot of things with a dollar.
39
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,445
A dollar,
that's five beers.
40
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,322
That ain't much, Duke.
41
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:56,575
If you wanted to,
you'd give up them five beers.
42
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,452
All right, to show you
what a nice guy I am,
43
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,412
I'll chip in two and a half beers,
fifty cents.
44
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,831
Come one, Duke,
make it five beers.
45
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,334
- Three beers?
- Five beers?
46
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,254
All right, five beers.
One dollar.
47
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,214
Come on, let's get it up.
Everybody, get it up.
48
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,758
One dollar, one dollar.
49
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,301
They ought to send you out
at Christmas time
50
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,427
with a tambourine, Gomer.
51
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,429
Come on, Larry,
get it up.
52
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,265
Thanks, Duke.
53
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,267
You know, you're a real
good person.
54
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,935
Now we just gotta figure out
what we can get
55
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,270
Sergeant Carter
for his birthday.
56
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,688
How about a bullhorn?
57
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,316
His voice is so low,
I can hardly hear him.
58
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,568
You got a real good
sense of humor, Duke,
59
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,153
but I think
we ought to pick out
60
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,946
somethin' special
for the Sergeant.
61
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,698
I think we ought to get him
a sentimental gift.
62
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,909
A sentimental gift?
How about a whip?
63
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,120
Come on, fellers,
now this is serious.
64
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,664
Look, Gomer,
this was your idea,
65
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,041
so I nominate you
to pick out the gift.
66
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,918
- No, I think...
- All those in favor say "aye."
67
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,336
- [all] Aye.
- The "ayes" have it.
68
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,255
You won the election,
you pick out the gift.
69
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,595
Well, good afternoon, Private.
May I help you?
70
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,264
Yeah. I'm lookin' to buy
my Sergeant somethin'.
71
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,058
Tomorrow's his birthday.
72
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,435
It's his 35th,
and that's a real important one.
73
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,646
Oh, you bet it is.
What do you have in mind?
74
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,816
Well, you see, all the fellers
in the squad chipped in,
75
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:13,026
and we wanna get him
somethin' real nice.
76
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,404
Well, we have some
handsome gift items over here,
77
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:19,199
uh, cigarette lighters,
cuff links, tie clasps...
78
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,369
If you don't mind my asking,
uh, what would you like to spend?
79
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,705
Oh, I'd like to spend
a hundred dollars.
80
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,997
Oh!
81
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,416
But I only got 16.
82
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,710
Oh.
83
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,547
Well, I'm sure we can find something
here for 16 dollars that you'll like.
84
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:38,260
Say, how about this imported
pocketknife with two blades?
85
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,928
My, that sure is pretty.
86
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,304
Scissors.
87
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,223
Well, what do you know
about that?
88
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,267
Screwdriver.
89
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,310
Well, looky there,
a real screwdriver.
90
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,229
Bottle opener.
91
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,149
My, that sure is handy.
I think he'd like that a lot.
92
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,025
Nail file.
93
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,361
Aw, shoot.
He's got one.
94
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,989
No sense in givin' him
somethin' he's already got.
95
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,282
Of course not.
96
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,492
That's a shame.
That knife would be perfect
97
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,287
if it didn't have
that nail file on it.
98
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,122
Hey, what's that
right there?
99
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,332
- This?
- No, to the left.
100
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,751
- This?
- No, I'm sorry,
101
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,377
to my left,
not your left.
102
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,254
- This?
- Forward a little.
103
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,423
- This?
- No, I'm sorry, it's forward to me,
104
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,883
but it's backwards to you.
105
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,676
- This?
- In front of that.
106
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,344
- This?
- No, I mean behind it.
107
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,346
- This?
- Yeah.
108
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,681
It's a cigarette lighter.
109
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,057
Oh. He's got one.
110
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,937
Why don't you just give him
a 16 dollar gift certificate?
111
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,647
Oh, we couldn't do that.
112
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,983
We've got to get him
a sentimental gift.
113
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,109
Sentimental.
114
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,447
Hey, is this watch here
very expensive?
115
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,783
Well, that is a little more
than you have to spend.
116
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,034
It sure is
a beauty though, huh?
117
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,077
It's not only a watch,
it's also a calendar.
118
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:49,873
Well, I'll be dogged.
A calendar?
119
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,958
Is it much more than 16 dollars?
120
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,585
Well...
121
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,837
'Cause if it is, I guess
I'll just have to keep lookin' here
122
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:56,963
till I find somethin' else.
123
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,632
Oh.
124
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,009
Well, um,
I'll tell you what, uh,
125
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,428
since you're being
so nice to your sergeant, uh,
126
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,139
I'm gonna let you
have this watch for 16 dollars.
127
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,265
Shazam!
128
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,434
Well, that sure is nice
of you.
129
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,102
I'll never forget you
for this.
130
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,563
- Oh, that's all right.
- There's just one more thing.
131
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,773
What's that?
132
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,858
Can I have somethin'
engraved on the back of it?
133
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,237
Oh, absolutely.
I'll even include it in the 16 dollars.
134
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,697
Well, I can't tell you
how much I appreciate this.
135
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:25,534
- My pleasure.
- Listen, you won't be sorry.
136
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:26,993
'Cause I promise,
from now on,
137
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,287
I'll do all of my shoppin'
right here.
138
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,835
When do you think
we should give it to him?
139
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,628
What's the matter
with right now?
140
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,047
Why not? After all,
it's his birthday.
141
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,174
Let's go over to the company office
and surprise him.
142
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,509
Right.
143
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,760
[chattering]
144
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,388
[Carter] Where are you goin'?
145
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,849
Out to goof off a little?
146
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,642
[Gomer] No, sir.
147
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,310
You bet you're not!
148
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,729
And wipe that silly grin
off your face!
149
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,941
Now, all of you,
hear me and hear me good!
150
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,778
I'm sick and tired of your sloppy,
careless ways!
151
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,321
This squad is becoming
152
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,783
a bunch of thoughtless,
forgetful pumpkin heads!
153
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,326
I think you'd forget
your own heads
154
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,995
if they weren't
tied to your shoulders!
155
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,582
Cochran and Pyle, you both forgot
to lock up your rifles!
156
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,083
Gottschalk, Slater,
and Pyle,
157
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,502
you're forgetting to keep
your wall lockers closed!
158
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:21,089
Felcher, you forgot
to fill your canteen!
159
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:24,342
And, Pyle, you forgot
to salute an officer
160
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,969
coming out of the mess hall
this morning!
161
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,721
You're just lucky
he didn't see you!
162
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,973
And that's just
part of the list.
163
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,350
Now, we've been through
all of this before,
164
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,353
so I'm telling you
for the last time,
165
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:38,148
you better not forget
one more thing!
166
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,025
Because if you do,
167
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:43,028
if you forget
one more thing...
168
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,780
Sergeant? There's one thing
we didn't forget.
169
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,242
That's wonderful, Pyle.
170
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,370
One thing!
One thing you didn't forget?
171
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,706
I can't wait to hear
what it is!
172
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,459
What didn't you forget,
knucklehead?
173
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,336
Happy birthday.
174
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,255
[all] Happy birthday, Sarge.
175
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,549
Gee,
176
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:07,928
y-you--you fellas
didn't have to do this.
177
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,388
I know we didn't have to.
We wanted to.
178
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,725
It's, uh, nice.
179
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,519
It's-- It's real nice.
180
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,229
I don't know what to say.
181
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,941
Well, open it up.
182
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,692
All right.
See what's in there.
183
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,861
PRIVATE 1 : Just take a look,
Sarge.
184
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,989
[paper rustling]
185
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,785
Hey, that's real nice.
186
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,996
- [all chattering]
- Hey, it's a watch.
187
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,165
And--And it matches
my ID bracelet.
188
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,918
It's a calendar, too.
See that "24" on there?
189
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,504
That means
it's the 24th of the month.
190
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,214
It don't tell you
the month.
191
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,882
You got to remember
that yourself.
192
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,010
[Duke] Look who's talkin' about
havin' to remember things,
193
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,346
the guy that forgot
to salute the officer.
194
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:56,434
I sure picked some day
to chew you guys out, huh?
195
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,061
[Larry] Oh, forget it,
Sarge.
196
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,313
Well, it--it--it's beautiful,
fellas.
197
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,190
I appreciate it.
Uh, I really do.
198
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,110
Look on the back of the watch,
on the back there.
199
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,822
[Duke] Read it, Sarge.
200
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:14,035
"With all our esteem
on your 35th birthday."
201
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,705
Thanks, fellas.
202
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,748
I'll always remember
this birthday.
203
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:22,002
This is an important one.
This is your 35th.
204
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,921
Yeah. That is kind of
a milestone, huh?
205
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,506
Gee, Sarge, 35?
206
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,342
That's almost the same age
as me and Burns put together.
207
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,887
That's right.
I never thought of that.
208
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,515
How long you been
in the Marines, Sarge?
209
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:40,311
Let's see, um,
I guess it's 18 years.
210
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,147
Yeah, 1946.
211
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,815
Hey, that's the year
I was born.
212
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,359
[Duke] Gosh, Sarge,
you've been in the Marines
213
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,111
more than half your life.
214
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,904
That's right, I have.
215
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:55,035
Boy, how time flies, huh?
216
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:58,663
Seems like just yesterday
I was in Korea.
217
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,291
- That was 1950.
- [Gomer] 1950?
218
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,002
You was in Korea
and I was in grade school.
219
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,046
Miss Costello, 7B.
220
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,090
[Duke] Aren't you ashamed
of yourself, Gomer?
221
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,634
While Sergeant Carter was over
in Korea fightin' for our country,
222
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,429
there you were in Mayberry,
just learnin' how to read and write.
223
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,098
Well, the Marines sure haven't
hurt you none, Sergeant.
224
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,684
I hope I look as good
as you do when I'm 35.
225
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,688
Thanks.
226
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,524
PRIVATE 2: Gee, 35. You're only
three years younger than my dad.
227
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,735
[all chuckling]
228
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,946
Well, uh...
Thanks again, fellas,
229
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,365
for the present.
230
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,993
I sure am glad
we helped to make this
231
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,621
a happy birthday
for you, Sergeant.
232
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,915
Yeah. Thanks, Pyle.
233
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,501
Thanks a lot.
234
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,885
You know, Gome,
I gotta hand it to you,
235
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:57,013
you really got to the Sarge.
He was really touched.
236
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,015
You know, I'm glad
you talked me into it.
237
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,726
That wasn't worth five beers
to me, that was worth 40 beers.
238
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,853
He sure looked like
he appreciated it.
239
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,940
When he left, he could hardly talk,
he was so happy.
240
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,915
"With all of our esteem
on your 35th birthday."
241
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,087
35th birthday.
242
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,349
MAN [over radio] ...and it
contains only health-giving ingredients.
243
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,184
So remember that name, folks,
244
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,896
Rejuvenate, the tonic that
makes you feel young again.
245
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:51,359
Remember, Rejuvenate is made
especially for you people over 35.
246
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,903
That's the age
when you start feeling...
247
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,364
[commentator 1] Experience
and a good left hook will win for him.
248
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,199
That's why I think
the champ will retain
249
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,493
his heavyweight championship
in tonight's bout.
250
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,495
[commentator 2] Well, I have
to disagree with you, Jerry.
251
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,831
I think age is gonna
make the difference.
252
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,624
The challenger's
young and aggressive,
253
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,418
and I don't think
the champ can make it
254
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,462
if he has to go 15 rounds
against his youthful challenger.
255
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,382
The champ's stamina and legs
just aren't what they used to be.
256
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,801
You have to remember,
he's no kid anymore.
257
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:20,180
He's 32 now, and many of us
feel that he's over the...
258
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,181
[clicks off]
259
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,650
[bugle playing reveille]
260
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,039
I wonder where
Sergeant Carter is.
261
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,333
He ain't never been late
for reveille before.
262
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,793
Must have been out celebratin'
his birthday last night.
263
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,217
I didn't hear the bugler.
I had the windows closed.
264
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,469
I guess that little extra sleep
felt good, Sergeant,
265
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,721
especially after
your 35th birthday.
266
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,642
What do you mean
by that crack?
267
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,144
I didn't mean it
as no crack, Sergeant.
268
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,396
We just thought maybe you was
out celebratin' last night...
269
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,689
Don't play games
with me, Pyle!
270
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,899
I know what you're thinkin'!
271
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,277
- You think I'm getting old, right?
- No, Sergeant...
272
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,529
Yeah, that's what you're all thinkin',
isn't it?
273
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,031
Yeah, sure, I know,
274
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,242
you were born the year I joined
the Marines!
275
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,578
And you were in kindergarten
when I was fightin' in Korea!
276
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,705
Well, let me
tell you all something!
277
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,208
I can still run
the whole lot of you
278
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,001
into the ground
any day of the week!
279
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:36,130
And just to prove it, let's do
some deep knee bends right now!
280
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,632
Come on!
281
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:41,344
All you have to do is as many
as old Sergeant Carter!
282
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,512
All right?
283
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,846
Hands on hips!
284
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,975
Put those hands down
until I say "Place"!
285
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,519
Hands on hips! Place!
286
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,729
Ready? Exercise!
287
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,691
Hut! Two! Hut! Two!
288
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,693
Hut! Two! Hut...
289
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,987
- [groans]
- [Gomer] What's the matter, Sergeant?
290
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,363
Don't touch me, Pyle!
I'm all right.
291
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:03,324
Please, Sergeant. I think
I can help you. Please let me try.
292
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,617
My back!
293
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,868
[yells in pain]
294
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,082
Hey, it's okay.
295
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,418
You did that like you knew
what you were doin'.
296
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,086
Well, I've had
a lot of practice.
297
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,588
My grandma used to have
the same thing you just had.
298
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,549
I used to straighten
her out.
299
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,926
Poor thing, though,
she started walkin' crooked.
300
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,303
Your grandma?
301
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,763
Uh-huh. It come to her
in her twilight years.
302
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,557
Get back in formation, Pyle.
303
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,600
But you ought to rest
a while, Sergeant.
304
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,020
That's what grandma used to do
after she had an attack like that.
305
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,314
I said,
"Get back in formation"!
306
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,441
- She'd put a mustard plaster...
- Pyle!
307
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,279
Now let's start again!
308
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,906
Hands on hips! Place!
309
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,784
Ready? Exercise!
Hut!
310
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,411
[groans in pain]
311
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:49,912
Don't touch me, Pyle!
312
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,373
Maybe you ought not do anymore
of them deep knee bends.
313
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,791
I could get some
dry mustard...
314
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,668
I'm not your grandmother!
315
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,129
Now, this is different.
I'm perfectly all right.
316
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,423
It's-- It's just an old
war injury from Korea.
317
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,633
It acts up now and then.
318
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,927
But I'd better get over to sick bay
just to play it safe.
319
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,888
That's what I call
a real smart idea.
320
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,848
You go over to sick bay
and play it safe.
321
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,558
I'll be right back.
322
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,022
What are you gawking at?
323
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,690
Get busy
policing up the area!
324
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,025
All of you!
325
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,616
[exclaiming] He's startin'
to walk crooked,
326
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,618
just like grandma,
poor thing.
327
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,955
The pain in your side,
is it gone now?
328
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,374
Yes, sir.
329
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,085
Despite the bent position
you're now in?
330
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,798
I'm sorry, sir.
331
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,092
Look, Sergeant, there's nothing
for you to worry about.
332
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,135
You had a simple muscle cramp,
that's all.
333
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,553
It's nothing else?
334
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,306
Nothing else,
but don't forget one thing,
335
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,601
you can't make those sudden moves
like you did when you were younger.
336
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,645
Younger?
What do you mean, sir?
337
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,022
You know, like you did
a few years ago.
338
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,733
It's nothing like hardening
of the arteries, is it, sir?
339
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,403
You're fine, Sergeant.
340
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,488
Yes, sir.
341
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,058
I don't understand,
Private.
342
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,853
Why are you so concerned
about Sergeant Carter's back?
343
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,564
Well, I apologize
for takin' up your time, sir,
344
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:43,568
but Sergeant Carter's really got me
worried, and the other fellers, too.
345
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,069
It ain't only his back.
346
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,988
He just hasn't been
actin' hisself lately.
347
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,991
He's been kind of mopin' around
ever since the party.
348
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,660
- Party? What party?
- His birthday party.
349
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,079
The fellers all chipped in
and we gave him a watch.
350
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,290
He just turned 35.
351
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,959
Oh, so that's it,
35-it is.
352
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,671
- 35-it is?
- It's a common ailment.
353
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:08,885
You see, Private, some men feel
when they reach the age of 35,
354
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,888
it marks the end of their youth
and the beginning of middle age.
355
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,640
Quite often, they start imagining
all sorts of aches and pains.
356
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,601
But the pain
that Sergeant Carter had
357
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,394
sure seemed real enough to me.
358
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,731
Of course. And if Carter
continues to worry about getting old,
359
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,525
he'll actually feel pain even though
nothing's wrong with him.
360
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,818
In technical language,
361
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,778
that sort of condition
is known as psychosomatic.
362
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,824
Psychoso...
Psychosomatic.
363
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,451
In a few days,
your sergeant's confidence
364
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,703
will come back to him
and everything will be okay.
365
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,497
Well, thank you, sir.
366
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,376
- Psychoso...
- Psychosomatic.
367
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:46,047
Lordy, there's a lot
of sicknesses these days.
368
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,638
Hey, what's the matter
with you kids?
369
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,598
Those packs too heavy,
huh?
370
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,392
I'm 35 years old.
Look at me, huh?
371
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:02,230
Oh, all right,
you weaklings, halt!
372
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,564
Take five.
373
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,696
Well, well, well.
374
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,406
Tired are we, huh?
375
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:16,994
Maybe I should charter a bus
to come all the way out here
376
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,915
and pick us all up
and take us back to camp, huh?
377
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,503
Golly, Sergeant,
just look at you.
378
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,838
All of us is just as tuckered
as we can be.
379
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,424
Just look at you, you ain't hardly
worked up a sweat yet.
380
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,929
Well, I'll give you kids
a little tip.
381
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,139
Always carry a candy bar
in your pack.
382
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,183
[Carter] It gives you that
extra energy when you need it.
383
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,893
I've got one right here,
Sergeant.
384
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,895
Then give it to him,
he needs it.
385
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,948
Who did this?
386
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:55,783
Who?
387
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,956
Why, Pyle?
388
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,958
Why'd you do it?
389
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:07,962
Well, it was... It was just that
you'd been feelin' poorly lately,
390
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:11,007
and this is just a way to help you
get you over that bad period
391
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,509
and get your old
confidence back.
392
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,136
With straw?
393
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,763
Rocks, I can understand.
394
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,433
That might get
my confidence back, but straw?
395
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,476
Well...
396
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:23,936
Thanks, Pyle!
397
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,396
Thanks a lot!
398
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:28,524
Just tryin' to make
an old man feel young, right?
399
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:31,902
[groans]
400
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,489
Come here, come here,
come here.
401
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,782
Hey, guys,
Wait'll you hear this.
402
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,576
- [all] What? What?
- You won't believe it.
403
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:39,994
We're losin' Sergeant Carter.
404
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,038
PRIVATE 1 : Sergeant Carter?
PRIVATE 2: Why? What happened?
405
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,206
I don't believe it. Sergeant Carter?
Where would he go?
406
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,375
He's askin' to be transferred
to a desk job.
407
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,960
Golly! Are you sure, Duke?
408
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,629
Well, that's what Farley Obitz said
and he ought to know.
409
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,088
He's a clerk
over at headquarters.
410
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,590
- Did he tell you why, Duke?
- Yeah.
411
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,550
Carter thinks he's gettin' too old
to be a duty sergeant
412
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,093
so instead, he's gonna be
pushin' a pencil.
413
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,846
Well, all I got to say is,
I feel sorry for the pencil.
414
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,391
That's good, Larry.
Hey, Gome, Larry says...
415
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,435
Where'd he go?
416
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,604
Don't you understand,
Private?
417
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,481
That was just
the wrong thing to do.
418
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,067
I didn't say you should
make it easy for him.
419
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,653
That will only convince him
he can't do it himself.
420
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,738
The only thing that will help
him gain back his confidence
421
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,824
is if he proves to himself
he can still pull his own load.
422
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,036
He has to find out he's a man
who can carry his own weight.
423
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,497
Then he'll get over
his psychosemantics?
424
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,333
Yes.
425
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,296
Gomer, I wanna be
the first to say this, you're crazy!
426
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,881
Believe me, Duke,
this'll work.
427
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,550
And you want us to ask
Sergeant Carter to take us on a hike?
428
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,760
Uh-huh.
429
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,970
I've already packed
his pack here with rocks.
430
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,555
Rocks?
431
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,391
[thud]
432
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,184
When he finds out
he carried a pack this heavy,
433
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,436
he'll be all over
his psychosemantics.
434
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,189
- His what?
- That's doctor talk.
435
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,273
Now, come on, fellers.
436
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:54,735
Y'all don't want Sergeant Carter
to leave us, now do you?
437
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,820
[all] Well...
438
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:01,158
What is this, a coffee klatch?
I ain't transferred yet.
439
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:04,370
Hey, Sergeant.
We was just talkin' about you.
440
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,748
- My day is made.
- Since you're gonna be Ieavin' us,
441
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,375
we thought it would
be real nice
442
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,168
if you took us on sort of
a goin'-away hike.
443
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,212
Huh?
444
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,464
We sure would appreciate it,
wouldn't we, fellers?
445
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,634
- [all] Yeah.
- See?
446
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,136
You're kidding!
447
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:22,638
You mean you want me
to take you on a hike?
448
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:26,225
You know, for sentimental reasons,
somethin' we could remember you by.
449
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,186
Pyle, if anyone else
but you said this,
450
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,897
I'd swear they were
pulling my leg.
451
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,315
All right.
452
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,443
It's a hike you want,
it's a hike you'll get.
453
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:38,195
Everybody fall out
with full field packs!
454
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,656
Come on, let's move,
let's move!
455
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,492
Come on, move it!
456
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,703
Um, I just knew
you'd do it, Sergeant,
457
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,539
so I went ahead
and fixed your pack for you.
458
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:49,665
Oh, no.
459
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,126
We've been all through that,
remember?
460
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,545
Forget it!
You guys wanted the hike.
461
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,505
I'm just going along
for the company.
462
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,341
All right, fall out! Come on,
move it, move it, move it!
463
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,678
- Thanks a lot, Gomer!
- Yeah, you and your great ideas!
464
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,730
[Carter] Squad, halt!
465
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,232
On your feet, Pyle!
You asked for this hike!
466
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:16,817
Oh!
467
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,402
Pyle, get...
468
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,863
What's the matter, Pyle,
are you hurt?
469
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:24,074
Twisted my ankle, and it pains me
somethin' awful.
470
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,452
- Here, let me take a look at it.
- [yelling]
471
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:32,333
Looks all right to me.
See if you can walk on it.
472
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:41,133
It's no use, Sarge.
Maybe it's broken.
473
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,302
It's not broken.
474
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:45,721
Now somebody's
gonna have to
475
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,264
carry you
all the way back to camp.
476
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,641
I guess so.
477
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,769
You're the only one
that's not wearin' a pack.
478
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:03,906
What are you doin', Pyle?
479
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,616
I'm eatin' a candy bar.
480
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,993
You remember, said it was
good for energy on a hike?
481
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,162
- Hey, you want a bite?
- No!
482
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,254
Squad! Halt!
483
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,423
Left face!
484
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,135
All right, the rest of you men
fall out.
485
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,595
[all] Aye, aye, sir!
486
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:31,308
All right, come on, Pyle.
I'll take you over to sick bay.
487
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:34,562
Well, uh, uh, Sergeant,
you see, uh...
488
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,105
What's wrong?
489
00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:38,649
Well, look, my foot seems
a whole lot better.
490
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:39,900
Look...
491
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,153
I can walk just fine.
492
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:47,408
Truth is, it wasn't
ever really that bad.
493
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,119
Oh, I get it,
494
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,246
that was a sentimental hike?
495
00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:53,873
You wanted to make
a fool out of me?
496
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,875
I carried you five miles
for nothing?
497
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,835
I ought to kill you
for this, Pyle!
498
00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,170
Don't say for nothin',
Sergeant.
499
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:01,839
You carried me,
and look at you,
500
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:04,383
you ain't out of breath,
you ain't even tired.
501
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,594
See? You're strong.
502
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:08,929
You're just as strong
as you always was.
503
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,348
And you thought you couldn't
carry your own weight.
504
00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:14,059
Why, you can carry your weight
and mine, too.
505
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,312
Now, if that don't
give you your confidence back,
506
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,771
I don't know what will.
507
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,899
A man that can do
all of that,
508
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:22,526
he'd be wastin' his time
behind a desk.
509
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,570
Yeah.
510
00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:28,449
See? Now you're all over
your psychosemantics.
511
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,451
What?
512
00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,495
Nothin'.
Just, "Welcome back."
513
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:36,457
Thanks, Pyle.
514
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,718
Good-lookin' watch,
Vince.
515
00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:50,346
- Sure was nice of the guys.
- Yeah.
516
00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:52,389
Yeah, you know,
I remember when I was a kid.
517
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,850
Things were so tough,
that I didn't get a birthday present
518
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,352
till I was 11 years old.
519
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,604
My family
had it rough, too.
520
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,189
I was born
right in the middle of it,
521
00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:03,567
year of the crash, 1929.
522
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:06,445
My old man worked morning,
noon and night.
523
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,323
- He was never sure where his next...
- Hey, Sergeant?
524
00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:12,952
How much is nine from fifteen?
525
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:17,122
Six! What's the matter,
can't you subtract?
526
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:19,792
There were days when we didn't
even have enough to eat.
527
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,794
Two from five
is three.
528
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,879
Hey, Sergeant,
do you know somethin'?
529
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:27,424
You ain't 35, you're 36.
How 'bout that?
530
00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:30,260
And all the time you thought
you was 35, you're really 36.
531
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,762
Pyle, rake that area!
532
00:24:31,762 --> 00:24:33,806
[yelling] Come on, move,
move, move, move...
40677
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