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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:04,046 [marching band playing] 2 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,887 [male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC. 3 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,308 Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle. 4 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,647 Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter. 5 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:35,577 Hut, hut, hut, left! 6 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,538 Turn! 7 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,832 Company, halt! 8 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,834 Fall out! All right, all right! Spread out! 9 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,002 Move around here. 10 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:48,257 Now, this morning's field exercise, 11 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,050 individual scouting. 12 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,593 Remember, a good scout knows 13 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,303 cover, concealment, camouflage, 14 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,846 and principles of movement. 15 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,223 He also knows... 16 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,142 Where's the phone? 17 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,062 Pyle! 18 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,151 - What took you so long? - [in southern accent] Well, sir... 19 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,612 I was just telling these men the things that make a good scout, 20 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,531 - and pokiness ain't one of them. - Yes, sir. 21 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,408 Do you know the things that do make a good scout? 22 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,284 Yes, sir. 23 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:19,204 A good scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, 24 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,999 courteous, kind, cheerful, obedient, and thrifty... 25 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:22,749 Pyle! 26 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,544 A Boy Scout is also brave, clean, and reverent. 27 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,963 And they salute like this, with three fingers. 28 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,507 Are you kidding me? Are you putting me on? 29 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:34,094 Oh, no, sir. I was in troop 437, Mayberry branch. 30 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:37,222 I wasn't talking about Boy Scouts. 31 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,725 I'm talking about scouting, Marine scouting! 32 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,644 Now, that's a different thing entire. 33 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,813 - [Carter] Oh, it is? - Yes, sir. 34 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:48,108 Scoutin' and patrollin', chapter 16 in The Marine Guidebook. 35 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,360 That's the part where you're supposed to know about cover, 36 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,155 concealment, camouflage, and the principle of movement. 37 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,116 Now, that's a altogether different thing from Boy Scoutin'. 38 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,785 You see, a Boy Scout is trustworthy, loyal... 39 00:01:58,785 --> 00:01:59,703 Knock it off! 40 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,539 [telephone rings] 41 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,584 Must be for you, Sarge. Not a soul one knows I'm out here. 42 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:10,005 Hello. This here's Gomer Pyle talkin'. 43 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,214 You wanna talk to the Sergeant? 44 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,966 He's standin' right here at the side of me. 45 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,346 Alpha checkpoint, Sergeant Carter. 46 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,599 Eh, yes, sir. We're just about to begin. 47 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,101 Sir? 48 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,479 Oh, that was just one of the men who... 49 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,565 Yes, sir. 50 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,901 I'll tell him. 51 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,826 ...and there's a string of telephone poles along there, 52 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,495 from D12 to F9. 53 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,372 Uh-huh. Any military vehicles? 54 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,207 No. No vehicles, sir. 55 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,333 Okay. 56 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,627 Where's Pyle now? Everybody else is here. 57 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,711 Sir. 58 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:50,796 Huh? 59 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,761 Good afternoon, sir. 60 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,596 How's your scouting exercise going, Sergeant? 61 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,890 Very good, sir. All checked out except one man. 62 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,934 [Gomer] Yoo-hoo, Sergeant! It's me, Gomer! 63 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,310 I'm back! 64 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,937 I'll be down there in a minute. 65 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,230 Be right there. 66 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,949 Did you know it was me 67 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,909 with all this plant life on my helmet? 68 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,120 I found these buttercups and daisies up there 69 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,539 while I was lookin' for some camouflage branches. 70 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,332 I picked 'em for your desk. 71 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,792 I thought they'd look real pretty. 72 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,335 Things look so drab in that office. 73 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,629 Let's see if you like your butter. 74 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,342 [under his breath] Drop 'em! Drop 'em! 75 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,553 Was this one of the men on the scouting exercise? 76 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,347 Uh, yes, sir. Uh, he was just reporting in. 77 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,473 Weren't you, Pyle? 78 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,891 Yes, sir. 79 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,185 Well, report in. 80 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,438 Well, sir... 81 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,732 There's a right nice stretch of land over yonder. 82 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,734 Alfalfa's comin' up fair. 83 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,069 Melons would grow real good there, though. 84 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,571 Soil is kind of sandy. 85 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,573 It's not too salty. I tasted it. 86 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,284 And there's a whole string of bushes 87 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,328 along the path from F2 to H4. 88 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,206 But they're just awful bushes, they're just full of stickers. 89 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,793 And there was a telephone pole by the side of the highway 90 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,421 with a poster tacked up. It said, uh... 91 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,966 "Mayfair Theatre, tonight, 92 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,844 Ma and PA Kettle in Hawaii, 93 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,804 selected short subjects, 94 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,848 and Thursday night's family night." 95 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,601 Sergeant, can I have a word with you, please? 96 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,107 Sergeant, that is the poorest excuse for a scout I've seen yet. 97 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,108 Yes, sir. 98 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,735 I would suggest a little more lecture time 99 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,153 on scouting and patrolling. 100 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,905 Maybe you could use a little yourself. 101 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:40,906 Yes, sir. 102 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:42,991 Carry on. 103 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,496 [car driving away] 104 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,708 All right, you people. 105 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,835 I was gonna give you all liberty tonight, 106 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,421 provided nobody fouled-up on this exercise. 107 00:04:56,421 --> 00:05:00,425 Well, one man fouled-up, so the liberty is canceled. 108 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,511 That's just terrible, sir. 109 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,805 Not to embarrass the man, but who was it? 110 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,807 You, Pyle! The man was you! 111 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,891 Me, sir? 112 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,560 You! Pyle, you violated all the principles of movement 113 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,770 on your scouting mission! 114 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,396 You were strolling around, picking daisies 115 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,940 and looking at movie posters. 116 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,775 - You blew it! - But, sir... 117 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,610 You blew it, Pyle! You blew it for everybody! 118 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,612 I just feel terrible, sir. 119 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,906 Do all the men have to suffer on account of me? 120 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,616 That's right. That was the deal. 121 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,952 One foul-up, and the liberty was off. 122 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,578 And what did you do? 123 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,913 I blew it, sir. 124 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,289 Right. 125 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,208 All right, everybody, fall in. 126 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:47,514 - Daisies he picks for me, daisies! - Where do they find them? 127 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,975 I had to cancel liberty for the whole platoon. 128 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:53,019 You know what he needs? A good rap on the head, 129 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,605 something that might jar something loose upstairs. 130 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,940 [man] Yeah, I know what you mean. 131 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,483 Everything all right, fellas? 132 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,235 - Oh, hi, Hannah. - Great. How are you? 133 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,570 [chuckling] 134 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,322 Ow! Hannah, it hurts! 135 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,615 You know the company rules, 136 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,284 "You can look but don't touch." 137 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,702 I'm sorry. I lost my head. 138 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,245 [chuckling] 139 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,373 Oh! It kills me the way she does that, you know. 140 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,875 How'd you like to be married to that? 141 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,544 Who, the Dragon Lady? I don't think so. 142 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,254 Better not let her hear you call her that. 143 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,213 She'll kill you. 144 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,965 And she can do it too, Benson. 145 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,633 I think she could take you. 146 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,427 Not if I trained for a couple months. 147 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,476 No. Look, would you just let up? 148 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,270 He must be new around here. 149 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,355 He's gonna get learned real fast. 150 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,943 Let's go. 151 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,495 Hey, guys, check it out! 152 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,749 You want a rematch? 153 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,208 [chuckles] 154 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,460 Out. 155 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,963 [all laughing] 156 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,174 Now, why couldn't that have been Pyle, huh? 157 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,760 FI yin' through the air like that. 158 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,470 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 159 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,181 Why can't it be Pyle? 160 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,058 [man] What are you talking about? 161 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,644 We'll set him up against Hannah. 162 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,979 Oh, how I'd love to see that. 163 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,105 How are you gonna set him up? 164 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,859 Look, don't worry about it. I'll set him up. 165 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,529 I'll fix it. I'll fix it real good. 166 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,657 How come we got our liberty back, huh? 167 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,868 You know what I think? I'll tell you what I think. 168 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,288 I think the Sergeant's just bein' nice to us, is what I think. 169 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,582 He never does stay mad at us long. 170 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,211 You know what else I think? I'll tell you what I think. 171 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,672 I think we ought to go tell him how nice it is of him. 172 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,715 No, Gomer. You fouled us up yesterday 173 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,842 and made us lose the liberty. We got it back by a miracle 174 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,053 and we ain't gonna let you foul us up again. 175 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,888 Well, I sure am sorry about yesterday. 176 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,098 Honest, I am. 177 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,350 Look, in 30 minutes, we'll be on that bus into town. 178 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,769 Do you think you can stay out of trouble just that long? 179 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,980 I sure don't mean to get in no trouble. 180 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,066 Good. Don't do anything, don't say anything. 181 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,317 If you say so, Duke. 182 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,819 [Carter] Ten-hut! 183 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,278 As you were. 184 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,364 All right, two things. 185 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:12,617 First, transportation will leave the main gate at 1730. 186 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,077 [all] Hey. Great. Yeah. 187 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,663 And second, since this is your first liberty in town, 188 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,290 we gotta observe a certain tradition. 189 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,876 Every man will put his ID Card in this hat, 190 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,086 and the name I draw 191 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,754 will represent this particular company. 192 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,589 What's it all about, Sarge? What's the tradition? 193 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,259 We have this tradition that one man from each company 194 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,928 collects his first liberty kiss from Miss Hannah Troy. 195 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:32,887 Who's she? 196 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,347 She runs a tavern in town. 197 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,516 Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. 198 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,476 Come on, come on, come on. 199 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,103 Pyle, Pyle, Pyle. 200 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,439 I think I'll pass up the drawin', Sergeant. 201 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,648 What? 202 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,567 Let somebody else have my chance. 203 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,236 But you can't. I mean, it's... 204 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,071 - It's gotta be representative. - But... 205 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,656 Pyle, it's tradition. 206 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,825 - You going against tradition? - Well... 207 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,410 Of course not. 208 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,621 There's nothing more sacred in the Marines than tradition. 209 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:02,042 Good. Now everybody's in. 210 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,961 Now for the drawing. For the tradition. 211 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,882 All right. Give me some room. Some room. 212 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,469 The winner is... 213 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,222 Gomer Pyle. And what do you think of that? 214 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,391 And you were the one that weren't even interested. 215 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,853 Congratulations, Pyle. Now here's the way the tradition 216 00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,606 - of the first liberty kiss works. - But, Sergeant... 217 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,399 You just go up to her and you say, 218 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,819 "Dragon Lady, I'm here for my first liberty kiss." 219 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,737 But, sir... 220 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,864 It'll be a moment you will never forget. 221 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,240 All right, Pyle, now, 222 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,451 I'll see you tonight at Hannah's Bar & Grill. 223 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,244 That's on Exchange Street. Is that clear? 224 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,329 Yes, sir. 225 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,247 All right, now. You be there. 226 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,167 But, sir... 227 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,669 You lucky stiff. Free kiss. 228 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,590 I just can't do it. 229 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,634 What? 230 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,970 I just can't do it. 231 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,306 I just couldn't up and kiss some strange girl. 232 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,809 Why, we ain't done no steppin' out or courtin'. 233 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,644 This is different, Gomer. It's just a kiss. 234 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,063 But I don't even know her folks or nothin'. 235 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,981 You don't have to kiss her folks, just her. 236 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,775 Oh, I just couldn't. 237 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,236 Why, back home, we'd go callin' for a whole summer 238 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,780 before we'd even get to bitin' on the same apple together. 239 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,949 Besides, I did make other plans. 240 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,202 Ever since I seen that movie poster on the telephone pole, 241 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,371 I've been lookin' forward to goin' to the picture show 242 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,540 to see Ma and PA Kettle in Hawaii. 243 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,416 We've been stuck in training for months, 244 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,709 this is your first trip to town, 245 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,253 and you wanna see Ma and PA Kettle? 246 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,337 Right. 247 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,092 What's the matter with you, Gomer? 248 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,885 You got something against kissing? 249 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,597 Oh, no. I like kissin'. Kissin' can be fun. 250 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,142 But back home, I went with Ida Carrington for 11 months 251 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,393 before I kissed her. 252 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,978 Then it took two hours of coaxin'. 253 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,187 Oh, boy. 254 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,314 I only did it to stop her coaxin'. 255 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,192 I'm sorry. 256 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,194 I just don't like strangers kissin'. 257 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,446 That's why I never did like New Year's Eve. 258 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,615 Come 12:00, and smacko. 259 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,534 Everybody's kissin' everybody else. 260 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,994 And the next day, everybody wakes up 261 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,079 with a cold to start out the new year. 262 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,166 - Do you mind if I take your place? - What? 263 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,042 Well, you were the one that was picked for the kiss. 264 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:10,170 Why can't I tell this chick I'm the one that was picked? 265 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,297 That ain't truthful, Duke. 266 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,424 Suppose I tell her I'm your proxy? 267 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,135 - You're my what? - Your proxy. 268 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,137 You appointed me to collect for you 269 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,638 'cause you couldn't make it. 270 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,224 - That's a proxy? - Yeah. How about it? 271 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,810 - Well, if you want to. - Oh, I want to. 272 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,145 - Okay. - Good. 273 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:30,064 - You're gonna be my what? - I'm gonna be your proxy. 274 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,736 Gosh, you know somethin'? I never had a proxy before. 275 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,905 Shoot, I never even had a godfather. 276 00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,574 When's he comin'? 277 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,867 Oh, any minute. 278 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,203 This is gonna be beautiful. Beautiful. 279 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,454 [chuckling] 280 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,708 [rock and roll music playing on jukebox] 281 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,838 That must be her, fellas. She looks like the boss lady. 282 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,173 [whistling] 283 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:56,841 Gomer don't know what he passed up. 284 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,259 [sighs] 285 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,888 Hey, Vince, isn't that one of your people over there? 286 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:02,972 Hmm? 287 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,060 Don't wait up for me tonight, kid. 288 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,318 What's happening, sweetness? 289 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,905 What does that idiot think he's doing? 290 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,490 He'll ruin everything. 291 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,743 So you're the famous Dragon Lady, huh? 292 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,955 Well, I'm the famous Duke Slater, baby, Company B. 293 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,999 They call me "LB" for short. 294 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,125 Lover Boy. 295 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,045 Old LB is here to collect his first liberty kiss. 296 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,341 So now that the introductions are out of the way... 297 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,261 Let's go to the moon, baby. 298 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,721 No, thank you. [chuckles] 299 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,764 Let's go. 300 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,269 - Come on. - [laughs] Oh, dear. 301 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,687 [grunting] 302 00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,818 Why does she always throw them toward us? 303 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,820 Now, we ought to talk to her. This is like drinking beer 304 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,071 at the wrong end of a bowling alley. 305 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,699 What'd I do? What'd I do? 306 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,868 You have just been formally introduced to the Dragon Lady. 307 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,912 What do you think you're doing? Where's Gomer? 308 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,497 Gomer let me take his place. 309 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,832 He what? 310 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,792 He didn't want to come, so he let me be his proxy. 311 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,002 His proxy? 312 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,420 Oh, you fixed it! 313 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,046 - You fixed it real good! - Huh? 314 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,632 That was supposed to be him stretched out there, pally. 315 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,592 You mean it was a phony? It was all a setup? 316 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,719 Yeah! 317 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:26,264 I wanted to see Gomer go flying through the air, not you. 318 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,557 Are you happy now? 319 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,975 I'm sorry, Sarge. 320 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,561 Sorry ain't enough! Now you go get Gomer in here! 321 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:34,063 That's right! You took all my fun away! Go get him! 322 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,773 - Go get him? - Yeah! 323 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:39,152 Look, don't you wanna see Gomer go flying through the air? 324 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,653 You're entitled now. 325 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,656 - Flying through the... Oh, yeah! - Yeah? 326 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,158 Yeah. Good idea, Sarge. 327 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,160 - I'll go get him, Sarge. - Go! Go! Go! Go! 328 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,662 Come on, we're gonna get Gomer. 329 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,582 [chuckling] 330 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,670 Second floor show, coming up. 331 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,015 Are you sure he went to the movies? 332 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,683 He probably stayed to see it twice. 333 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,517 There he is. 334 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,314 Okay. Just follow my lead. 335 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,732 [clears throat] 336 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,069 Hey, Duke. Hey, fellas. 337 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,111 - Hey, Gomer. - Howdy, Gomer. 338 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,696 Are you goin' to the picture show? 339 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,156 It's a real good one. 340 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,908 I'll go see it with you again, if you like. 341 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,785 I've seen it twice already, but I'll go again. 342 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,371 No. I couldn't, Gome. Not tonight. 343 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,955 I'm just not in the mood for a picture. 344 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,416 But this'll cheer you up. It's a real funny picture. 345 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,793 There's one place in the picture 346 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,629 where Ma and PA Kettle are rockin' on the front porch. 347 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,798 Well, PA Kettle, he don't notice this loose board... 348 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,092 Uh, you're probably wondering why I don't feel in the mood, Gome. 349 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,594 So, I'll tell you. It's the Sergeant. 350 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,471 - He's hurt. - Very hurt. 351 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,181 Was there an accident? 352 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,849 He's hurt inside. 353 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,435 Because tonight, a Marine Corps tradition was broken, 354 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,104 and his company wasn't represented 355 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,439 when the first liberty kisses were passed out. 356 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,900 He really feels bad, huh? 357 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,319 Very bad. 'Cause you didn't show up. 358 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,947 But wasn't you gonna take my place, Duke? 359 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:08,491 Wasn't you gonna be my... What do you call it? 360 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,284 - Proxy? - Yeah, proxy. 361 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,661 Yeah. That's what made it worse. 362 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,288 It absolutely has to be the man chosen from the hat. 363 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,416 The lady wouldn't kiss a proxy? 364 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,708 Absolutely not. 365 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,253 For years, this tradition has been faithfully observed, 366 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,796 an unbroken chain until... 367 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,716 Well, until tonight. That's why he's so sad. 368 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,386 You know tradition means a lot to Sergeant Carter, Gomer. 369 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,721 Well it does to me, too, honest, fellers. 370 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,516 I wouldn't be surprised if he even transferred out over the shame of it. 371 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:34,767 - Huh, fellas? - Yeah. 372 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,018 He might. 373 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,563 Gosh! I didn't realize it was this big a tradition. 374 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,856 Oh, it is. It is. 375 00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,399 Yeah. It's like West Point, Gome. 376 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,192 You know, the flirtation walk. 377 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,611 Why, it's even bigger than the Semper Fidelis march. 378 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,864 No foolin'? 379 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:48,823 No fooling. 380 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,033 But still... 381 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,327 To kiss a strange woman... 382 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,245 The least you can do is 383 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,247 come talk to the Sergeant, tell him why you can't do it. 384 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:59,417 Well, I guess I do owe him that much. 385 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,336 It's bigger than Semper Fidelis, you really mean it? 386 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,922 It's getting late, Vince. 387 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,758 Do you think your Gomer Pyle guy is gonna show up? 388 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,135 I don't know. 389 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,512 Hey, hey, hey, isn't that your pigeon coming in now? 390 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:15,558 He got him. 391 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,269 Good old Duke, he's made an old man very happy. 392 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,854 Hey, Sergeant. 393 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,647 I'm sorry about things, sir. 394 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,858 Honest, never wanted you to go into your shell, 395 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,027 - not for a minute. - Huh? 396 00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,904 Uh, we told Gomie you felt real bad 397 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,447 about the tradition being broken, Sarge, 398 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,781 and you might even transfer out. 399 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,617 You know, because your company 400 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,368 didn't come up with a man for first liberty kiss? 401 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,786 Oh, yeah. 402 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,956 Yeah. But it could have been worse. 403 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:43,002 So, I'll just transfer out, maybe even leave the Corps. 404 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,588 So what if I put in 18 years of my life? 405 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,424 Through thick and thin, through war and peace. 406 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,551 So what? I'll leave. 407 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,471 You can't leave the Marine Corps, sir. You just can't. 408 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,972 Better than have it said that 409 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,391 I was the one who broke tradition. No! 410 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,562 It's a far, far better thing I do... 411 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,440 I'll cut out. 412 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,400 I never heard anything more beautiful 413 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,902 in all my put-togethers. 414 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,781 Pyle, I guess you don't know me very well. 415 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,451 Call me an old sentimentalist if you like, but, well... 416 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,080 I'm a fool about tradition. 417 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,084 And when a tradition is broken, I just, well... 418 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,213 - Call me a fool. - Why, I never would. 419 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,422 A fool. 420 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,467 And the only honorable thing for this fool to do 421 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,135 is to transfer out. 422 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,887 Don't say that, Sergeant. I'll do it. 423 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:35,972 What? 424 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,808 I'll collect that there first liberty kiss. 425 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,935 Now, look, Pyle, 426 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,938 I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. 427 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:46,607 Even though you were chosen, fair and square, 428 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,860 you still don't have to do this if you don't want to. 429 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,696 I don't? Well, in that case... 430 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,031 No, I'll just transfer out. 431 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,366 Call me a fool. 432 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,867 I'll do it. I'll do it. Where is she? 433 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,494 A sentimental fool. 434 00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,829 Call me a sentimental... 435 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,956 He'll do it. He'll do it. 436 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:03,541 You will? 437 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,834 Yes, sir. 438 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,127 Where's she at? 439 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,503 Over there. 440 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,093 It'll be over before you know it. I can promise you that. 441 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,803 Remember, Gomer, it's a tradition. 442 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,222 Right. What do I do now? 443 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,932 You just go up to her and you say, 444 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,935 "Dragon Lady, I'm here for my first liberty kiss." 445 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,312 And go. 446 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,499 Hey, ma'am. 447 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,001 Hello. 448 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,212 First off, I don't much care for the name "Dragon Lady," 449 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,505 so I won't call you that. 450 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,675 And second, it ain't nothin' personal against you, ma'am, 451 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,261 it's just that my upbringing's against kissin' strangers. 452 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,138 But it's gotta be done 453 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,474 on account of the Sergeant over there did spend 18 years 454 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,768 in war and peace, and through thick and thin. 455 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,394 And if he's a fool about tradition, 456 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,979 then I ain't gonna stand in his way. 457 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,272 Joe... 458 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,192 What have you been giving him? 459 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,195 And most of all, since it is a glorious tradition, 460 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,738 bigger than Semper Fidelis, 461 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,741 it ain't fittin' that one little ol' person like me stands up against it. 462 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,701 The only thing I ask, ma'am, 463 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,245 is could the kiss be along the jawbone here? 464 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:26,457 And that'd make it friendly and all, without gettin' too involved, 465 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:28,668 and it'd be enough to satisfy the Sergeant over there. 466 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,463 Wait a minute. Now, let me get this straight. 467 00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,382 Um, you want a kiss? 468 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,636 But not for you. 469 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,014 But for your sergeant. 470 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,809 Uh-huh. 471 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,648 Come with me. 472 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,986 They're going into the backroom. 473 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,655 I won't see him flyin' through the air. 474 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,490 She's never done that before. 475 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:02,076 Maybe she's gonna throw him through the door. 476 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,953 Yeah. 477 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,538 It'll be just as good. 478 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,086 See, I never had no choice. 479 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,255 It was my name that come out of the hat, 480 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,464 so here I am. 481 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,007 But you went to the movies 482 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,135 rather than come here and kiss me, hmm? 483 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,095 Well, you see, it was Ma and PA Kettle, 484 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,263 and they're my favorites. 485 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:26,392 Well, I guess I'm no match for Ma and PA Kettle. 486 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,145 Oh, no, ma'am. Don't get me wrong. 487 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,147 Most fellers would fall all over theirs elves 488 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,441 for a chance to kiss a pretty girl like you. 489 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,984 But, well, you see, 490 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,278 that's the way I was brought up. 491 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,363 And I can't change. 492 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,450 Oh, I hope you never do. 493 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,121 It's awful quiet in there. 494 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,831 Well, maybe she's toying with him, 495 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,541 you know, like a cat with a mouse. 496 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,501 Yeah. 497 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:55,337 - [whispers] There they are. - He's still in one piece. 498 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,340 Over here. 499 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,092 Come on. 500 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,594 Here. 501 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,680 There. There we are. 502 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,099 Now... 503 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,062 Put your hand up here. 504 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,773 That's right. 505 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,483 Here it comes. 506 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:20,112 Both arms around me. 507 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,031 That's it. 508 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,160 Now close your eyes. 509 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,205 Oh, come on, Gomer. It's the tradition. 510 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,204 Well, I done it, Sergeant. 511 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,459 Was it all right? 512 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,669 Huh? 513 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,879 It was fine, just fine. 514 00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,297 Gomer, what'd you tell her? 515 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,968 Oh, just about traditions. 516 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:25,469 Huh? 517 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,596 Oh, you know about how I was there 518 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,223 to collect my first liberty kiss. 519 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,141 I explained the whole thing to her. 520 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:32,226 She likes it. 521 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,770 She really does. 522 00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:36,814 How about that? 523 00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:37,690 That's it. 524 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,818 That's her weakness. Traditions. 525 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,361 She goes for it. 526 00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,738 She must go for it. 527 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,534 What do you know? 528 00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:59,086 You like that tradition, huh, Hannah? 529 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,588 Oh, it's sweet. 530 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,052 Do you know whose idea that was? 531 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:13,017 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. 532 00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:16,061 I'm just a sentimental fool, Hannah. 533 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:17,938 Aw. 534 00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,192 Look, if you like that tradition, 535 00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:23,527 I got another one. 536 00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,321 - You have? - Uh-huh. 537 00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,448 On the first liberty night, 538 00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:29,783 the Sergeant gets some lovin', too. 539 00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:32,578 After all, 540 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,998 I've been around a lot longer than that private. 541 00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,291 Do you know what I mean? 542 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,751 Oh, yeah. 543 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,545 - Hmm? - Mmm-hmm. 544 00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:51,305 [screaming] 545 00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,480 What happened? 546 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,440 You done it all wrong, Sergeant. 547 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,525 You're supposed to put both arms around her. 548 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:04,818 That's the tradition. 549 00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:06,403 And you gotta go by the tradition. 550 00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:09,073 And you didn't keep your eyes closed the whole time neither. 551 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,741 That's another part of the tradition. 552 00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:12,534 If you'd have put both arms around her 553 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:13,827 and kept your eyes closed, 554 00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:16,121 she'd kiss you real good, but you didn't do that. 555 00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,581 You see, what you done... 556 00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:22,878 Oh, come on now. Tell us everything, 557 00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,296 right from the beginning. 558 00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:25,798 You really want to hear about it? 559 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,508 - [all] Yeah! - Tell us about it. 560 00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,843 - Right from the beginnin'? - [all] Right from the beginning. 561 00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:32,638 Well, right at the beginnin', 562 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:35,683 Ma and PA Kettle was rockin' on the front porch. 563 00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:37,559 Well, PA Kettle didn't take no notice 564 00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:39,520 of this loose board that was there. 565 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,730 Well, about that time, he rocked some, 566 00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:44,858 and that board flew up and hit him right in the face... 41031

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