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[marching band playing]
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00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,887
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,308
Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.
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00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,647
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
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00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:35,577
Hut, hut, hut, left!
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00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,538
Turn!
7
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,832
Company, halt!
8
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,834
Fall out!
All right, all right! Spread out!
9
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,002
Move around here.
10
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:48,257
Now, this morning's field exercise,
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00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,050
individual scouting.
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00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,593
Remember, a good scout knows
13
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,303
cover, concealment, camouflage,
14
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,846
and principles of movement.
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00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,223
He also knows...
16
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,142
Where's the phone?
17
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,062
Pyle!
18
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,151
- What took you so long?
- [in southern accent] Well, sir...
19
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,612
I was just telling these men
the things that make a good scout,
20
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,531
- and pokiness ain't one of them.
- Yes, sir.
21
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,408
Do you know the things
that do make a good scout?
22
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,284
Yes, sir.
23
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:19,204
A good scout is trustworthy,
loyal, helpful, friendly,
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00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,999
courteous, kind, cheerful,
obedient, and thrifty...
25
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:22,749
Pyle!
26
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,544
A Boy Scout is also brave,
clean, and reverent.
27
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,963
And they salute like this,
with three fingers.
28
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,507
Are you kidding me?
Are you putting me on?
29
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:34,094
Oh, no, sir. I was in troop 437,
Mayberry branch.
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00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:37,222
I wasn't talking
about Boy Scouts.
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00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,725
I'm talking about scouting,
Marine scouting!
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Now, that's
a different thing entire.
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00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,813
- [Carter] Oh, it is?
- Yes, sir.
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00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:48,108
Scoutin' and patrollin',
chapter 16 in The Marine Guidebook.
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00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,360
That's the part where you're
supposed to know about cover,
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00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,155
concealment, camouflage,
and the principle of movement.
37
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,116
Now, that's a altogether
different thing from Boy Scoutin'.
38
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,785
You see, a Boy Scout
is trustworthy, loyal...
39
00:01:58,785 --> 00:01:59,703
Knock it off!
40
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,539
[telephone rings]
41
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,584
Must be for you, Sarge.
Not a soul one knows I'm out here.
42
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:10,005
Hello. This here's Gomer Pyle talkin'.
43
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,214
You wanna talk to the Sergeant?
44
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,966
He's standin' right here
at the side of me.
45
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,346
Alpha checkpoint,
Sergeant Carter.
46
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,599
Eh, yes, sir.
We're just about to begin.
47
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,101
Sir?
48
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,479
Oh, that was just
one of the men who...
49
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,565
Yes, sir.
50
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,901
I'll tell him.
51
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,826
...and there's a string of
telephone poles along there,
52
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,495
from D12 to F9.
53
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,372
Uh-huh. Any military vehicles?
54
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,207
No. No vehicles, sir.
55
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,333
Okay.
56
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,627
Where's Pyle now?
Everybody else is here.
57
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,711
Sir.
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00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:50,796
Huh?
59
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,761
Good afternoon, sir.
60
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,596
How's your scouting exercise going,
Sergeant?
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00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,890
Very good, sir.
All checked out except one man.
62
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,934
[Gomer] Yoo-hoo, Sergeant!
It's me, Gomer!
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00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,310
I'm back!
64
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,937
I'll be down there in a minute.
65
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,230
Be right there.
66
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,949
Did you know it was me
67
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,909
with all this plant life
on my helmet?
68
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,120
I found these buttercups
and daisies up there
69
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,539
while I was lookin' for
some camouflage branches.
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00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,332
I picked 'em for your desk.
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00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,792
I thought
they'd look real pretty.
72
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,335
Things look so drab
in that office.
73
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,629
Let's see if
you like your butter.
74
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,342
[under his breath] Drop 'em! Drop 'em!
75
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,553
Was this one of the men
on the scouting exercise?
76
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,347
Uh, yes, sir.
Uh, he was just reporting in.
77
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,473
Weren't you, Pyle?
78
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,891
Yes, sir.
79
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,185
Well, report in.
80
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,438
Well, sir...
81
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,732
There's a right nice
stretch of land over yonder.
82
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,734
Alfalfa's comin' up fair.
83
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,069
Melons would grow
real good there, though.
84
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,571
Soil is kind of sandy.
85
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,573
It's not too salty.
I tasted it.
86
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,284
And there's
a whole string of bushes
87
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,328
along the path from F2 to H4.
88
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,206
But they're just awful bushes,
they're just full of stickers.
89
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,793
And there was a telephone pole
by the side of the highway
90
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,421
with a poster tacked up.
It said, uh...
91
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,966
"Mayfair Theatre, tonight,
92
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,844
Ma and PA Kettle in Hawaii,
93
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,804
selected short subjects,
94
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,848
and Thursday night's family night."
95
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,601
Sergeant, can I have a word
with you, please?
96
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,107
Sergeant, that is the poorest excuse
for a scout I've seen yet.
97
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,108
Yes, sir.
98
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,735
I would suggest
a little more lecture time
99
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,153
on scouting and patrolling.
100
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,905
Maybe you could use
a little yourself.
101
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:40,906
Yes, sir.
102
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:42,991
Carry on.
103
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,496
[car driving away]
104
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,708
All right, you people.
105
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,835
I was gonna give you all
liberty tonight,
106
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,421
provided nobody fouled-up
on this exercise.
107
00:04:56,421 --> 00:05:00,425
Well, one man fouled-up,
so the liberty is canceled.
108
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,511
That's just terrible, sir.
109
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,805
Not to embarrass the man,
but who was it?
110
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,807
You, Pyle!
The man was you!
111
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,891
Me, sir?
112
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,560
You! Pyle, you violated
all the principles of movement
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on your scouting mission!
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00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,396
You were strolling around,
picking daisies
115
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,940
and looking at movie posters.
116
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,775
- You blew it!
- But, sir...
117
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,610
You blew it, Pyle!
You blew it for everybody!
118
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,612
I just feel terrible, sir.
119
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,906
Do all the men have to suffer
on account of me?
120
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,616
That's right.
That was the deal.
121
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,952
One foul-up, and the liberty was off.
122
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,578
And what did you do?
123
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,913
I blew it, sir.
124
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,289
Right.
125
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,208
All right, everybody,
fall in.
126
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:47,514
- Daisies he picks for me, daisies!
- Where do they find them?
127
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,975
I had to cancel liberty
for the whole platoon.
128
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:53,019
You know what he needs?
A good rap on the head,
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00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,605
something that might
jar something loose upstairs.
130
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,940
[man] Yeah, I know what you mean.
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00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,483
Everything all right,
fellas?
132
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,235
- Oh, hi, Hannah.
- Great. How are you?
133
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,570
[chuckling]
134
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,322
Ow! Hannah, it hurts!
135
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,615
You know the company rules,
136
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,284
"You can look but don't touch."
137
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,702
I'm sorry.
I lost my head.
138
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,245
[chuckling]
139
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,373
Oh! It kills me the way
she does that, you know.
140
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,875
How'd you like
to be married to that?
141
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,544
Who, the Dragon Lady?
I don't think so.
142
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,254
Better not let her hear
you call her that.
143
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,213
She'll kill you.
144
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,965
And she can do it too, Benson.
145
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,633
I think she could take you.
146
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,427
Not if I trained
for a couple months.
147
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,476
No. Look, would you
just let up?
148
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,270
He must be new
around here.
149
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,355
He's gonna get learned
real fast.
150
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,943
Let's go.
151
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,495
Hey, guys, check it out!
152
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,749
You want a rematch?
153
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,208
[chuckles]
154
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,460
Out.
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00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,963
[all laughing]
156
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,174
Now, why couldn't
that have been Pyle, huh?
157
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,760
FI yin' through the air
like that.
158
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,470
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
159
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,181
Why can't it be Pyle?
160
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,058
[man] What are you talking about?
161
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,644
We'll set him up against Hannah.
162
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,979
Oh, how I'd love to see that.
163
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,105
How are you gonna set him up?
164
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,859
Look, don't worry about it.
I'll set him up.
165
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,529
I'll fix it.
I'll fix it real good.
166
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,657
How come we got
our liberty back, huh?
167
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,868
You know what I think?
I'll tell you what I think.
168
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,288
I think the Sergeant's
just bein' nice to us, is what I think.
169
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,582
He never does stay
mad at us long.
170
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,211
You know what else I think?
I'll tell you what I think.
171
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,672
I think we ought to go tell him
how nice it is of him.
172
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,715
No, Gomer.
You fouled us up yesterday
173
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,842
and made us lose the liberty.
We got it back by a miracle
174
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,053
and we ain't gonna
let you foul us up again.
175
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,888
Well, I sure am sorry
about yesterday.
176
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,098
Honest, I am.
177
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,350
Look, in 30 minutes,
we'll be on that bus into town.
178
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,769
Do you think you can
stay out of trouble just that long?
179
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,980
I sure don't mean
to get in no trouble.
180
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,066
Good. Don't do anything,
don't say anything.
181
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,317
If you say so, Duke.
182
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,819
[Carter] Ten-hut!
183
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,278
As you were.
184
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,364
All right, two things.
185
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:12,617
First, transportation will
leave the main gate at 1730.
186
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,077
[all] Hey. Great. Yeah.
187
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,663
And second, since this
is your first liberty in town,
188
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,290
we gotta observe
a certain tradition.
189
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,876
Every man will put
his ID Card in this hat,
190
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,086
and the name I draw
191
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,754
will represent
this particular company.
192
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,589
What's it all about, Sarge?
What's the tradition?
193
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,259
We have this tradition that one man
from each company
194
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,928
collects his first liberty kiss
from Miss Hannah Troy.
195
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:32,887
Who's she?
196
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,347
She runs a tavern in town.
197
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,516
Come on, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
198
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,476
Come on, come on,
come on.
199
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,103
Pyle, Pyle, Pyle.
200
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,439
I think I'll pass up
the drawin', Sergeant.
201
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,648
What?
202
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,567
Let somebody else
have my chance.
203
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,236
But you can't. I mean, it's...
204
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,071
- It's gotta be representative.
- But...
205
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,656
Pyle, it's tradition.
206
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,825
- You going against tradition?
- Well...
207
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,410
Of course not.
208
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,621
There's nothing more sacred
in the Marines than tradition.
209
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:02,042
Good. Now everybody's in.
210
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,961
Now for the drawing.
For the tradition.
211
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,882
All right. Give me some room.
Some room.
212
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,469
The winner is...
213
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,222
Gomer Pyle.
And what do you think of that?
214
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,391
And you were the one that
weren't even interested.
215
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,853
Congratulations, Pyle.
Now here's the way the tradition
216
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,606
- of the first liberty kiss works.
- But, Sergeant...
217
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,399
You just go up to her
and you say,
218
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,819
"Dragon Lady, I'm here
for my first liberty kiss."
219
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,737
But, sir...
220
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,864
It'll be a moment
you will never forget.
221
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,240
All right, Pyle, now,
222
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,451
I'll see you tonight
at Hannah's Bar & Grill.
223
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,244
That's on Exchange Street.
Is that clear?
224
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,329
Yes, sir.
225
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,247
All right, now.
You be there.
226
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,167
But, sir...
227
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,669
You lucky stiff.
Free kiss.
228
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,590
I just can't do it.
229
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,634
What?
230
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,970
I just can't do it.
231
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,306
I just couldn't up and kiss
some strange girl.
232
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,809
Why, we ain't done
no steppin' out or courtin'.
233
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,644
This is different, Gomer.
It's just a kiss.
234
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,063
But I don't even know
her folks or nothin'.
235
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,981
You don't have to
kiss her folks, just her.
236
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,775
Oh, I just couldn't.
237
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,236
Why, back home, we'd go callin'
for a whole summer
238
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,780
before we'd even get to bitin'
on the same apple together.
239
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,949
Besides,
I did make other plans.
240
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,202
Ever since I seen that movie
poster on the telephone pole,
241
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,371
I've been lookin' forward
to goin' to the picture show
242
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,540
to see Ma and PA Kettle in Hawaii.
243
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,416
We've been stuck in training
for months,
244
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,709
this is your first trip
to town,
245
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,253
and you wanna see
Ma and PA Kettle?
246
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,337
Right.
247
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,092
What's the matter
with you, Gomer?
248
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,885
You got something
against kissing?
249
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,597
Oh, no. I like kissin'.
Kissin' can be fun.
250
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,142
But back home, I went with
Ida Carrington for 11 months
251
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,393
before I kissed her.
252
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,978
Then it took
two hours of coaxin'.
253
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,187
Oh, boy.
254
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,314
I only did it
to stop her coaxin'.
255
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,192
I'm sorry.
256
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,194
I just don't like
strangers kissin'.
257
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,446
That's why I never did like
New Year's Eve.
258
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,615
Come 12:00, and smacko.
259
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,534
Everybody's
kissin' everybody else.
260
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,994
And the next day,
everybody wakes up
261
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,079
with a cold
to start out the new year.
262
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,166
- Do you mind if I take your place?
- What?
263
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,042
Well, you were the one
that was picked for the kiss.
264
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:10,170
Why can't I tell this chick
I'm the one that was picked?
265
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,297
That ain't truthful,
Duke.
266
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,424
Suppose I tell her I'm your proxy?
267
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,135
- You're my what?
- Your proxy.
268
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,137
You appointed me
to collect for you
269
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,638
'cause you couldn't make it.
270
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,224
- That's a proxy?
- Yeah. How about it?
271
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,810
- Well, if you want to.
- Oh, I want to.
272
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,145
- Okay.
- Good.
273
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:30,064
- You're gonna be my what?
- I'm gonna be your proxy.
274
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,736
Gosh, you know somethin'?
I never had a proxy before.
275
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,905
Shoot, I never even
had a godfather.
276
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,574
When's he comin'?
277
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,867
Oh, any minute.
278
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,203
This is gonna be beautiful.
Beautiful.
279
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,454
[chuckling]
280
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,708
[rock and roll music playing on jukebox]
281
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,838
That must be her, fellas.
She looks like the boss lady.
282
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,173
[whistling]
283
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:56,841
Gomer don't know
what he passed up.
284
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,259
[sighs]
285
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,888
Hey, Vince, isn't that
one of your people over there?
286
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:02,972
Hmm?
287
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,060
Don't wait up for me
tonight, kid.
288
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,318
What's happening,
sweetness?
289
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,905
What does that idiot
think he's doing?
290
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,490
He'll ruin everything.
291
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,743
So you're the famous
Dragon Lady, huh?
292
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,955
Well, I'm the famous Duke Slater,
baby, Company B.
293
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,999
They call me "LB" for short.
294
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,125
Lover Boy.
295
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,045
Old LB is here to collect
his first liberty kiss.
296
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,341
So now that the introductions
are out of the way...
297
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,261
Let's go to the moon, baby.
298
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,721
No, thank you. [chuckles]
299
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,764
Let's go.
300
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,269
- Come on.
- [laughs] Oh, dear.
301
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,687
[grunting]
302
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,818
Why does she always
throw them toward us?
303
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,820
Now, we ought to talk to her.
This is like drinking beer
304
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,071
at the wrong end
of a bowling alley.
305
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,699
What'd I do? What'd I do?
306
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,868
You have just been formally introduced
to the Dragon Lady.
307
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,912
What do you think you're doing?
Where's Gomer?
308
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,497
Gomer let me take his place.
309
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,832
He what?
310
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,792
He didn't want to come,
so he let me be his proxy.
311
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,002
His proxy?
312
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,420
Oh, you fixed it!
313
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,046
- You fixed it real good!
- Huh?
314
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,632
That was supposed to be him
stretched out there, pally.
315
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,592
You mean it was a phony?
It was all a setup?
316
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,719
Yeah!
317
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:26,264
I wanted to see Gomer go flying
through the air, not you.
318
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,557
Are you happy now?
319
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,975
I'm sorry, Sarge.
320
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,561
Sorry ain't enough!
Now you go get Gomer in here!
321
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:34,063
That's right! You took all my fun away!
Go get him!
322
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,773
- Go get him?
- Yeah!
323
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:39,152
Look, don't you wanna see Gomer
go flying through the air?
324
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,653
You're entitled now.
325
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,656
- Flying through the... Oh, yeah!
- Yeah?
326
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,158
Yeah. Good idea, Sarge.
327
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,160
- I'll go get him, Sarge.
- Go! Go! Go! Go!
328
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,662
Come on,
we're gonna get Gomer.
329
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,582
[chuckling]
330
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,670
Second floor show,
coming up.
331
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,015
Are you sure
he went to the movies?
332
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,683
He probably stayed
to see it twice.
333
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,517
There he is.
334
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,314
Okay.
Just follow my lead.
335
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,732
[clears throat]
336
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,069
Hey, Duke.
Hey, fellas.
337
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,111
- Hey, Gomer.
- Howdy, Gomer.
338
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,696
Are you goin'
to the picture show?
339
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,156
It's a real good one.
340
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,908
I'll go see it with you again,
if you like.
341
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,785
I've seen it twice already,
but I'll go again.
342
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,371
No. I couldn't, Gome.
Not tonight.
343
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,955
I'm just not in the mood
for a picture.
344
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,416
But this'll cheer you up.
It's a real funny picture.
345
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,793
There's one place
in the picture
346
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,629
where Ma and PA Kettle
are rockin' on the front porch.
347
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,798
Well, PA Kettle, he don't
notice this loose board...
348
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,092
Uh, you're probably wondering why
I don't feel in the mood, Gome.
349
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,594
So, I'll tell you.
It's the Sergeant.
350
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,471
- He's hurt.
- Very hurt.
351
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,181
Was there an accident?
352
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,849
He's hurt inside.
353
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,435
Because tonight, a Marine Corps
tradition was broken,
354
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,104
and his company wasn't represented
355
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,439
when the first liberty kisses
were passed out.
356
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,900
He really feels bad, huh?
357
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,319
Very bad.
'Cause you didn't show up.
358
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,947
But wasn't you gonna
take my place, Duke?
359
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:08,491
Wasn't you gonna be my...
What do you call it?
360
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,284
- Proxy?
- Yeah, proxy.
361
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,661
Yeah.
That's what made it worse.
362
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,288
It absolutely has to be
the man chosen from the hat.
363
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,416
The lady
wouldn't kiss a proxy?
364
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,708
Absolutely not.
365
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,253
For years, this tradition
has been faithfully observed,
366
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,796
an unbroken chain until...
367
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,716
Well, until tonight.
That's why he's so sad.
368
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,386
You know tradition means a lot
to Sergeant Carter, Gomer.
369
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,721
Well it does to me, too,
honest, fellers.
370
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,516
I wouldn't be surprised if he even
transferred out over the shame of it.
371
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:34,767
- Huh, fellas?
- Yeah.
372
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,018
He might.
373
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,563
Gosh! I didn't realize
it was this big a tradition.
374
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,856
Oh, it is. It is.
375
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,399
Yeah.
It's like West Point, Gome.
376
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,192
You know, the flirtation walk.
377
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,611
Why, it's even bigger
than the Semper Fidelis march.
378
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,864
No foolin'?
379
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:48,823
No fooling.
380
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,033
But still...
381
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,327
To kiss a strange woman...
382
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,245
The least you can do is
383
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,247
come talk to the Sergeant,
tell him why you can't do it.
384
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:59,417
Well, I guess
I do owe him that much.
385
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,336
It's bigger than Semper Fidelis,
you really mean it?
386
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,922
It's getting late, Vince.
387
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,758
Do you think your Gomer Pyle guy
is gonna show up?
388
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,135
I don't know.
389
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,512
Hey, hey, hey, isn't that
your pigeon coming in now?
390
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:15,558
He got him.
391
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,269
Good old Duke, he's made
an old man very happy.
392
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,854
Hey, Sergeant.
393
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,647
I'm sorry about things, sir.
394
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,858
Honest, never wanted you
to go into your shell,
395
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,027
- not for a minute.
- Huh?
396
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,904
Uh, we told Gomie
you felt real bad
397
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,447
about the tradition
being broken, Sarge,
398
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,781
and you might even
transfer out.
399
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,617
You know, because your company
400
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,368
didn't come up with a man
for first liberty kiss?
401
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,786
Oh, yeah.
402
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,956
Yeah.
But it could have been worse.
403
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:43,002
So, I'll just transfer out,
maybe even leave the Corps.
404
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,588
So what if I put in
18 years of my life?
405
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,424
Through thick and thin,
through war and peace.
406
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,551
So what? I'll leave.
407
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,471
You can't leave the Marine Corps, sir.
You just can't.
408
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,972
Better than have it said that
409
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,391
I was the one
who broke tradition. No!
410
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,562
It's a far,
far better thing I do...
411
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,440
I'll cut out.
412
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,400
I never heard
anything more beautiful
413
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,902
in all my put-togethers.
414
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,781
Pyle, I guess
you don't know me very well.
415
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,451
Call me an old sentimentalist
if you like, but, well...
416
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,080
I'm a fool about tradition.
417
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:23,084
And when a tradition
is broken, I just, well...
418
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,213
- Call me a fool.
- Why, I never would.
419
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,422
A fool.
420
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,467
And the only honorable thing
for this fool to do
421
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,135
is to transfer out.
422
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,887
Don't say that, Sergeant.
I'll do it.
423
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:35,972
What?
424
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,808
I'll collect that there
first liberty kiss.
425
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,935
Now, look, Pyle,
426
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,938
I don't want you to do
anything you don't want to do.
427
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:46,607
Even though you were chosen,
fair and square,
428
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,860
you still don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
429
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,696
I don't?
Well, in that case...
430
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,031
No, I'll just transfer out.
431
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,366
Call me a fool.
432
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,867
I'll do it. I'll do it.
Where is she?
433
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,494
A sentimental fool.
434
00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,829
Call me a sentimental...
435
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,956
He'll do it. He'll do it.
436
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:03,541
You will?
437
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,834
Yes, sir.
438
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,127
Where's she at?
439
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,503
Over there.
440
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,093
It'll be over before you know it.
I can promise you that.
441
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,803
Remember, Gomer,
it's a tradition.
442
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,222
Right.
What do I do now?
443
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,932
You just go up to her
and you say,
444
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,935
"Dragon Lady, I'm here
for my first liberty kiss."
445
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,312
And go.
446
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,499
Hey, ma'am.
447
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,001
Hello.
448
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,212
First off, I don't much care
for the name "Dragon Lady,"
449
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,505
so I won't call you that.
450
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,675
And second, it ain't nothin' personal
against you, ma'am,
451
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,261
it's just that my upbringing's
against kissin' strangers.
452
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,138
But it's gotta be done
453
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,474
on account of the Sergeant
over there did spend 18 years
454
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,768
in war and peace,
and through thick and thin.
455
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,394
And if he's a fool
about tradition,
456
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,979
then I ain't
gonna stand in his way.
457
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,272
Joe...
458
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,192
What have you
been giving him?
459
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,195
And most of all,
since it is a glorious tradition,
460
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,738
bigger than Semper Fidelis,
461
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,741
it ain't fittin' that one little
ol' person like me stands up against it.
462
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,701
The only thing I ask, ma'am,
463
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,245
is could the kiss
be along the jawbone here?
464
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:26,457
And that'd make it friendly and all,
without gettin' too involved,
465
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:28,668
and it'd be enough to satisfy
the Sergeant over there.
466
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,463
Wait a minute.
Now, let me get this straight.
467
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,382
Um, you want a kiss?
468
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,636
But not for you.
469
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,014
But for your sergeant.
470
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,809
Uh-huh.
471
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,648
Come with me.
472
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,986
They're going into
the backroom.
473
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,655
I won't see him
flyin' through the air.
474
00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,490
She's never
done that before.
475
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:02,076
Maybe she's gonna
throw him through the door.
476
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,953
Yeah.
477
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,538
It'll be just as good.
478
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,086
See, I never had no choice.
479
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,255
It was my name
that come out of the hat,
480
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,464
so here I am.
481
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,007
But you went to the movies
482
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,135
rather than come here
and kiss me, hmm?
483
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,095
Well, you see,
it was Ma and PA Kettle,
484
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,263
and they're my favorites.
485
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:26,392
Well, I guess I'm no match
for Ma and PA Kettle.
486
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,145
Oh, no, ma'am.
Don't get me wrong.
487
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,147
Most fellers would
fall all over theirs elves
488
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,441
for a chance to kiss
a pretty girl like you.
489
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,984
But, well, you see,
490
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,278
that's the way
I was brought up.
491
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,363
And I can't change.
492
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,450
Oh, I hope you never do.
493
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,121
It's awful quiet in there.
494
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,831
Well, maybe
she's toying with him,
495
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,541
you know,
like a cat with a mouse.
496
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,501
Yeah.
497
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:55,337
- [whispers] There they are.
- He's still in one piece.
498
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,340
Over here.
499
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,092
Come on.
500
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,594
Here.
501
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,680
There. There we are.
502
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,099
Now...
503
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,062
Put your hand up here.
504
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,773
That's right.
505
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,483
Here it comes.
506
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:20,112
Both arms around me.
507
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,031
That's it.
508
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,160
Now close your eyes.
509
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,205
Oh, come on, Gomer.
It's the tradition.
510
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,204
Well, I done it,
Sergeant.
511
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,459
Was it all right?
512
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,669
Huh?
513
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,879
It was fine, just fine.
514
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,297
Gomer, what'd you tell her?
515
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,968
Oh, just about traditions.
516
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:25,469
Huh?
517
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,596
Oh, you know
about how I was there
518
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,223
to collect my first
liberty kiss.
519
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,141
I explained
the whole thing to her.
520
00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:32,226
She likes it.
521
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,770
She really does.
522
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:36,814
How about that?
523
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:37,690
That's it.
524
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,818
That's her weakness.
Traditions.
525
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,361
She goes for it.
526
00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,738
She must go for it.
527
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,534
What do you know?
528
00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:59,086
You like that tradition,
huh, Hannah?
529
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,588
Oh, it's sweet.
530
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,052
Do you know
whose idea that was?
531
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:13,017
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
532
00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:16,061
I'm just a sentimental fool,
Hannah.
533
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:17,938
Aw.
534
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,192
Look, if you like that tradition,
535
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:23,527
I got another one.
536
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,321
- You have?
- Uh-huh.
537
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,448
On the first liberty night,
538
00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:29,783
the Sergeant
gets some lovin', too.
539
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:32,578
After all,
540
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,998
I've been around a lot longer
than that private.
541
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,291
Do you know what I mean?
542
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,751
Oh, yeah.
543
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,545
- Hmm?
- Mmm-hmm.
544
00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:51,305
[screaming]
545
00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,480
What happened?
546
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,440
You done it all wrong,
Sergeant.
547
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,525
You're supposed to
put both arms around her.
548
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:04,818
That's the tradition.
549
00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:06,403
And you gotta go
by the tradition.
550
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:09,073
And you didn't keep your eyes
closed the whole time neither.
551
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,741
That's another part
of the tradition.
552
00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:12,534
If you'd have put both arms
around her
553
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:13,827
and kept
your eyes closed,
554
00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:16,121
she'd kiss you real good,
but you didn't do that.
555
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,581
You see, what you done...
556
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:22,878
Oh, come on now.
Tell us everything,
557
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,296
right from the beginning.
558
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:25,798
You really want to
hear about it?
559
00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,508
- [all] Yeah!
- Tell us about it.
560
00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,843
- Right from the beginnin'?
- [all] Right from the beginning.
561
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:32,638
Well, right at the beginnin',
562
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:35,683
Ma and PA Kettle was rockin'
on the front porch.
563
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:37,559
Well, PA Kettle
didn't take no notice
564
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:39,520
of this loose board
that was there.
565
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,730
Well, about that time,
he rocked some,
566
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:44,858
and that board flew up
and hit him right in the face...
41031
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