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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,004 [marching band playing] 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,929 [male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC. 3 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,141 Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle. 4 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,438 Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter. 5 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:34,660 I want every inch of these grounds policed! 6 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,495 Every inch! Is that clear? 7 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:37,496 [all] Yes, sir! 8 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:40,541 Get those heads down and pick up everything that doesn't grow! 9 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,334 Move it! Move it! 10 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:45,045 [in southern accent] Shazam! Look what I found! 11 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,297 - [man] What you got, Gome? - [Gomer] Look, see it? 12 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,590 What is it? What'd you find? 13 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,467 Af our-leaf clover. 14 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,178 - Well, aren't you lucky. - Ain't I, though? 15 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,556 I wonder what kind of luck it'll bring me. 16 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,057 I wonder. 17 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,934 All right, you people, get back to work! 18 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,477 Move it, move it! 19 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,438 Back home Barbara Sue Hooverback found one under her front porch, 20 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,108 and two weeks later, she married Wendell Comroy. 21 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,943 And to this day, she still wears that clover 22 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,736 in a locket around her neck on a chain. 23 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,905 - Pyle... - She's so proud of it. 24 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,950 She wears these real low-cut dresses so everybody can see it. 25 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:15,993 Pyle! 26 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,328 Course, you can't see the clover unless she opens up her locket. 27 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,664 Shoot, she'll open up that locket at the drop of a hat. 28 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,208 - Pyle, knock it off! - Yes, sir. 29 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,045 All right, you people, fall in! 30 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,968 All right, come on! Move it, move it, move it, move it! 31 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:38,932 A smoking lamp is lit for one cigarette! 32 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,476 [all] A smoking lamp is lit for one cigarette! 33 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,186 Aye, aye, sir! 34 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,479 Light up! 35 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,940 Sir? 36 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,818 - What do you want? - I don't smoke, so would it be all right 37 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,779 if I kept looking for some four-leaf clovers? 38 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:53,864 Get. 39 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:56,658 Thank you, sir. I might even find one for you. 40 00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,452 Wonderful. 41 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,454 Course, you don't have a locket that you can keep it in 42 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,830 like Barbara Sue Hooverback, 43 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:05,000 but there's other places you can keep it, like in the sweatband of your hat 44 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,543 - or in your... - Pyle! 45 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,712 - Sir? - Get lost. 46 00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,088 Yes, sir. 47 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,730 Ten-hut! 48 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:29,858 - Afternoon, Captain! - Good afternoon, Sergeant. 49 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,652 Could I talk to you for a moment? 50 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,990 - Something wrong, Captain? - Not unless you call making a Marine base 51 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,992 look like a street corner. 52 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,869 I authorized a break for these people, Captain. 53 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,747 A break does not mean ogling women Marines. 54 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,416 Sergeant, inform your men that this is an administration building 55 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,335 and not the corner drugstore. 56 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,546 Aye, aye, Captain. 57 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,547 Carry on. 58 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,676 What's the matter with you knuckleheads? 59 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,761 Don't you know a captain when you see one? 60 00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:00,180 - Sorry, sir. We didn't see her. - You didn't see her? 61 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,890 You didn't see a captain? 62 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,101 All right, you'll just stand at attention 63 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,894 and you'll watch for captains! 64 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,730 Good afternoon, ma'am. 65 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,863 Private! 66 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,908 - Yes, ma'am? - What was that you just did? 67 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,743 - Ma'am? - Just now, when I approached, 68 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:26,331 - what did you do? - Uh, I guess I tipped my hat. 69 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,250 That's right. I tipped my hat, is what, ma'am. 70 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,001 - You did, did you? - Yes, ma'am. 71 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,878 Do these bars show you that I'm a captain? 72 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,754 Yes, ma'am. 73 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,257 But the rest of the uniform shows me that you're a lady. 74 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,092 I always tip my hat to a lady. 75 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,971 One of your people, Sergeant? 76 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,305 Yes, he is, Captain. 77 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,683 It is customary for recruits to learn to salute 78 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,685 their very first day in the service. 79 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,353 Yes, ma'am. Didn't he salute the Captain? 80 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,440 - He did not. He tipped his hat. - Tipped his hat? 81 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,234 On account of she's a lady, and I always tip my hat to a lady. 82 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,153 Private, do you know your General Orders? 83 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:59,364 - Yes, ma'am. I sure do. - What is your 10th General Order? 84 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,867 Let's see now, 85 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:05,620 "To take charge of this post and all government property..." 86 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,872 That is your first one. 87 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:09,791 Yes, ma'am, I know it is, but I learned 'em in order, 88 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,878 and so I have to go all the way through 'em to get to the 10th. 89 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,046 "To walk my post in a military manner." 90 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,425 Did this man learn military courtesy, or did he not? 91 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,801 He certainly did, Captain. I can... 92 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,928 - Then why is he not showing it? - Well, I just don't... 93 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,431 That is a poor reflection of his training, Sergeant, 94 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,266 - if I may say. - [Gomer] I've got it. Here it is. 95 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:30,979 "To salute all officers and all colors and standards not cased." 96 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,898 That's your 10th General Order, right there. 97 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,191 That is correct. 98 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:38,445 And the way you do that is you raise your right hand directly and smartly, 99 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,198 thumb and fingers are straight and touching each other, 100 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,116 your upper arm is level with the deck 101 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,285 and your forearm at a 45-degree angle. 102 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,412 You hold that salute until it is returned, 103 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:50,499 then cut away your hand smartly back to your side. 104 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,960 - Do you understand? - Yes, ma'am. 105 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,545 But wouldn't it be a whole lot easier 106 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,173 if I just tipped my hat and said, "Good afternoon, ma'am"? 107 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,342 Excuse me, if the Captain will let me take over now... 108 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,220 No, Sergeant! I have a much better plan. 109 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,388 You have this private report to me 110 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,975 every evening this week in my office, after duty hours. 111 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,061 I think I can teach him the business of saluting 112 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:14,356 so that he never forgets it. That's an order. Carry on. 113 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,574 Just think, Sergeant, she's gonna take a whole week 114 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,786 just to teach me proper salutin'. Ain't that nice of her? 115 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,539 Gomer, why are you wastin' your time sprucin' up? 116 00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:33,041 You'll be torn to shreds just as soon as you get to her office. 117 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,501 Ah, quit joshin', Duke. 118 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,503 She's a real nice lady, that lady captain. 119 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,589 Gomer, that's no lady. Do you know what they call her? 120 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,216 Captain Ironpants. 121 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,969 Yeah, Captain Ironpants. 122 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,097 Duke, you ought not call her that. It ain't respectful. 123 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,683 - Well, that's what they call her... - [man] Ten-hut! 124 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,812 Hey, Sergeant, sir. 125 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,147 I was gettin' ready to go to my salutin' mission. 126 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:59,067 Well, you've fixed it up for yourself real good, boy, 127 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,986 pulling down night-school duty. 128 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,446 Now, you listen up and listen good! 129 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,949 That woman is a captain! 130 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:09,244 You say, "Yes, Captain Martin. No, Captain Martin." 131 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:12,289 - Understand? - Yes, sir. Captain Martin. 132 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,916 I don't care what nobody else calls her. 133 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,293 Huh? 134 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,753 Do you know what they call her on this base? 135 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,673 [whispering] 136 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,717 And it ain't respectful, neither. 137 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,016 Corporal Peters? 138 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,311 - Yes, Captain? - Do you type with a compact? 139 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,854 No, ma'am. 140 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,772 But I'm meeting Sergeant Marshall after work, 141 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,900 and it's just a few minutes before 1730. 142 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,986 Those few minutes belong to this office. 143 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,322 So if you wish to indulge in camouflage operations, 144 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,948 don't do it here. 145 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,575 Let me tell you something, Corporal, 146 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:52,996 those little feminine vanities do nothing to further a career in the service. 147 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,498 In fact, I've found them a hindrance. 148 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,669 - Oh, excuse me, sir. - That's all right. 149 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,422 - Uh, you have those requisitions, Captain? - Yes, sir. Right here. 150 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:09,596 I, uh, saw that business with Corporal Peters. 151 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,307 Don't you think you're being a little rough on her? 152 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,100 No, sir, I don't. I... 153 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,520 After all, we haven't secured for the night yet, 154 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,856 and we are Marines working on a Marine base. 155 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,526 Yeah, well, you are also women. I don't think it's so bad 156 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,988 if Corporal Peters puts on a little makeup. 157 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,784 She's just trying to win a different battle than you are. 158 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,501 - Have a nice evenin'. - Oh. Thank you. 159 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,975 Good evenin', ma'am. Private Gomer Pyle. 160 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,686 You requested that I come here for some extra duty. 161 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,812 So here I am. 162 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,855 Oh, yes. The hat-tipper. 163 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,525 Over here, Private. 164 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,862 These cards list all the officers on the base. 165 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,448 I want you to file them alphabetically in the lower drawer. 166 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,533 Yes, ma'am. 167 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,951 And so that you'll get in practice, 168 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,578 whenever you come to a card with a woman officer on it, 169 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,956 I want you to stand up and salute. 170 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,127 - You mean salute the card? - That's right. 171 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,967 Oh, is that funny, Private? Does that strike you as funny? 172 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,011 No, ma'am. 173 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,804 All right, sit down and get to work. 174 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:33,805 Yes, ma'am. 175 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,350 Well, what are you waiting for? 176 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,311 I was always taught not to sit while a lady's standin'. 177 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,730 My mama taught me that. 178 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,566 I am a captain in the United States Marine Corps, 179 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,234 and that is all I am to you. 180 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,153 Well, that's a lot, ma'am. That's a whole lot. 181 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,447 You bet it is! Now get busy! 182 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,366 When you're finished with that, I have other duties for you. Sit down! 183 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,743 Yes, ma'am. 184 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,755 "Lieutenant James Parker." 185 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:12,177 "Captain Larry Brown." 186 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,931 Oh, here's one! 187 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,227 "Captain Martha Benedict." 188 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,689 Is that what you mean, ma'am? 189 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,368 What do you think you're doing? 190 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,287 Well, I'm holdin' the chair out for you, ma'am. 191 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,664 That's another thing my mama taught me. 192 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,292 Private, listen. 193 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,795 There are a lot of things you've learned in civilian life 194 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,838 that do not always apply here. 195 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:53,843 Now, common courtesies are fine, but chair-pushing and hat-tipping 196 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:56,763 and other civilian niceties are unnecessary. 197 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,973 Do you understand? 198 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,934 Yes, ma'am. 199 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,645 I appreciate you tryin' to help me, Captain, 200 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,648 but I hope you won't be too upset if it don't take right away. 201 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:10,235 After all, my mama had over 20 years to drum all that into me. 202 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,946 Then we may just be here that long! 203 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,555 Good evenin', ma'am. 204 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,558 - Private, you're late. - I'm sure sorry about that. 205 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,768 I was almost here when I remembered the sweets 206 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,937 and had to run all the way back to the barracks to get 'em. 207 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,273 Sweets? Recruits aren't allowed candy. 208 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,399 Where did you get it? 209 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,694 Oh, it ain't for me. It's for you, Captain. 210 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,362 It's just an old chocolate bar. 211 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,406 My cousin Goober sent it to me in the mail. 212 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,324 He didn't know we ain't supposed to have 'em. 213 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,617 Thought you might like it. 214 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,871 Private Pyle, are you trying to bribe me with a candy bar? 215 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,206 Gosh, no, ma'am. 216 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,002 It's just a tiny present is all. 217 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,129 Ladies should get presents. 218 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,381 Please take it. 219 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,724 Private, I've got a lot of work to do, and so do you. 220 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:25,393 - Suppose we get started. - Yes, ma'am. 221 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,739 Captain? 222 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,159 If you wanna holler at me for bein' late, you just do that. 223 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,494 Otherwise, the candy might really look like a bribe. 224 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,579 What? 225 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,915 What I'm tryin' to say is, it ain't really a bribe. 226 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,249 And if you'll go ahead and holler, 227 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,168 then I'll know you think of it as a present. 228 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,127 Never mind. 229 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,587 Just go ahead and holler and that will prove 230 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:55,340 - you don't think of it as a bribe. - That won't be necessary! 231 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:59,010 - But, Captain, if you just... - Pyle, get busy cleaning this office! 232 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:02,222 Now move it, move it, move it! Go on, move it! 233 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,556 Yes, ma'am. 234 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,483 Private, what are you doing? 235 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,027 Sharpenin' these pencils like you asked, ma'am. 236 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,528 This may be a silly question, 237 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,656 but why don't you use the pencil sharpener? 238 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,742 What do you think that is? 239 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,036 Now resharpen those and on the double. 240 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,873 - Ma'am? - What is it? 241 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:32,043 If this here thing's a pencil sharpener, it ain't got no handle. 242 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,336 It's electric. 243 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,880 You put the pencils in, and they sharpen themselves. 244 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,217 You're pullin' my leg, ma'am. 245 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,179 [whirring] 246 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,764 There. 247 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,100 Lord, what'll they think of next? 248 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,064 [whirring] 249 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,069 [Gomer] Electric. Ain't that somethin'? 250 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,779 [whirring] 251 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,286 Pyle! Stop playing with that pencil sharpener! 252 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,620 Yes, ma'am. 253 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,959 There you are, ma'am. There's the first one. 254 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,252 That sure was fun. 255 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,882 - Too short? - Not for a golf tee, 256 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,802 but it is too short for me! 257 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,555 I'm sorry, ma'am. I can see that now. 258 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,515 A lady shouldn't use a stubby pencil. 259 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,891 You might break your fingernails 260 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,144 and ruin all that nice banana-smellin' polish. 261 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,521 I don't have long fingernails, 262 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:37,066 and I don't wear that nice banana-smelling polish. 263 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,153 That's right. You sure enough don't, ma'am. 264 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,072 Could've swore you did. Maybe you ought to. 265 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,034 - What? - Well, ma'am, you have such nice hands. 266 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,910 Long fingernails and that red gook 267 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,371 could make 'em even look that much nicer. 268 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,957 Well, I'll go sharpen me some more pencils now. 269 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,642 Pyle! 270 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,812 Oh, hey, Sergeant, sir. I didn't see you. 271 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,398 Pyle, the rest of the people are on a rest period. 272 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,818 - What are you doing? - Just a little private policin', sir. 273 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,820 What's the matter? Don't you have enough to do 274 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,364 between Captain Martin and myself? 275 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:28,826 Oh, yes, sir, but this is different. You see, I'm just lookin' for tinfoil. 276 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,161 Tinfoil? 277 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:33,039 Yes, sir. It's a surprise for Captain Martin. 278 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,793 You're gonna surprise Captain Martin with a ball of tinfoil? 279 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,670 Oh, no, sir. The tinfoil is just for the decoration. 280 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,131 The real surprise is underneath that. 281 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,342 Carry on. 282 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,468 Yes, sir. 283 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,817 Good evenin', ma'am. 284 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,027 Is that a new way to stand at attention? 285 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:06,823 No, ma'am. It's just that I know how ladies like to be surprised. 286 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:07,949 What? 287 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,870 I found 'em growin' wild back yonder at the back gate. 288 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,664 They're for you. Take 'em. 289 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,959 Oh, uh... 290 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,878 [stammering] That's very nice, Private. 291 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,840 But I'm afraid I don't have anything to keep them in, so I can't accept... 292 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,007 How's this? 293 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,135 - What's that? - Homemade vase. 294 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,639 Pretty, ain't they? 295 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,183 Yes. Yes, they are. 296 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,519 This here vase is just an old milk bottle 297 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,979 I found back of the mess hall. 298 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,690 I covered it in tinfoil on account I didn't think 299 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,775 a vase ought to say "low fat" on it. 300 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,198 Thank you, Private. 301 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,658 You're welcome, ma'am. 302 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,286 I think a lady should have pretty things on her desk. 303 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,127 All right, Private, may as well secure for the night. 304 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,796 - Check that window, will you? - Yes, ma'am. 305 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:13,389 Shazam! Would you look at that moon. 306 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,350 Boy, it'd sure be a great night for gas watchin' back home. 307 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,811 Private, finish up and you could shove off. 308 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,480 Yes, ma'am. 309 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,487 Gas watching? 310 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,198 Yes, ma'am. 311 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:33,201 Back home, I used to work at this fillin' station. 312 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:36,287 Whenever there'd be a shiny moon and I'd be workin' nights, 313 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,956 I used to spill out a little gas on the concrete 314 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,959 and watch the reflection that the moon made on it. 315 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:45,004 All them shiny colors and runny lines. 316 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,297 I see. 317 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,383 Sometimes this girl I knew named Ida Carrington, 318 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,010 she'd come over and sit with me, 319 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,888 and we'd eat a bag of pine nuts together. 320 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:57,058 We'd just sit there and look at all them runny lines 321 00:16:57,058 --> 00:17:01,521 and listen to old Lester Pruit's hound dog bayin' away at the moon. 322 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,774 Way off yonder, you could hear the whistle off the Nashville train 323 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:05,900 passin' through. 324 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,069 [imitates train whistle] 325 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:11,697 And that's the only sound there'd be. Except, every once in a while, 326 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,909 Ida Carrington crackin' open a pine nut with her teeth. 327 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,373 I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to run off like that. 328 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,918 I'm sure a lady like you has got a lot better memories of moonlit nights 329 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:27,213 than chompin' away at pine nuts and lookin' at gas. 330 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:35,012 Well, I guess I'll shove off if the Captain don't need nothin' else. 331 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,473 No. No, that'll be all. 332 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:40,309 Well, see you tomorrow night, ma'am. 333 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,729 Good night, Captain. 334 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,705 Off to your nightly date with Captain Ironpants? 335 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:05,209 - I wish you'd stop callin' her that. - Why? 336 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,545 Well, it ain't respectful, and she's a lady. 337 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:10,214 A lady? Oh, Gomer, look alive. 338 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,050 Well, she is, and she's a real nice lady, too. 339 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,510 You know what I bet, Gomer? 340 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,013 I bet she's got a tattoo on her arm. 341 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,059 You know what, Duke? You ain't a gentleman, is what. 342 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,228 - Huh? - Talkin' that way about a lady. 343 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,646 It's just crude talk. 344 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,981 [Duke] Oh, come on. 345 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,858 It's true. It ain't nothin' but crude talk. 346 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:31,986 Gomer, it's just too bad you're only a boot and she's a captain. 347 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,363 Otherwise, you could take her out. Can you picture that, fellas? 348 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,282 Gomer out dancin' with Captain Ironpants? 349 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,950 She'd probably wanna lead. 350 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,246 It's crude talk. It ain't nothin' but crude talk. 351 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,915 You're crude, Duke! You're awful crude! 352 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,354 [big band music playing] 353 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,627 [music stops] 354 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,046 Good evenin', Captain. I didn't hear you come in. 355 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:35,091 This is an office, Private, not a dance hall. 356 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,717 Yes, ma'am. 357 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,512 I'm sorry about that. 358 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,472 It's just that whenever I hear any kind of music, 359 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,349 my feet just naturally start movin'. 360 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,726 Before I know it, all of me's movin'. 361 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,021 Do you dance, ma'am? 362 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,314 I beg your pardon? 363 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,565 I said, do you dance? 364 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:53,818 No. 365 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,862 Oh, that's a shame. 366 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,906 - That's a real shame. - What? 367 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,701 I mean, 'cause dancin' is just about the most fun there is, 368 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,119 once you get the hang of it. 369 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,871 Private, g-get on with your work. 370 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,206 Yes, ma'am. 371 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,587 Captain? 372 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,090 What now? 373 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,384 I bet there are a lot of nice officers on this base 374 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,094 that are just dyin' for you to learn. 375 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:23,139 - Look, here... - Like that Colonel Van Pelt. 376 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:26,183 I seen him through the officers' club window one night while I was on duty 377 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:29,311 and he was dancin' with a girl not half as pretty as you. 378 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,273 Private, 379 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,401 you may go back to your quarters now. 380 00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,071 Yes, ma'am. 381 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,334 Captain? 382 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,591 If you'll excuse me for sayin' this. 383 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,427 Well, I know that you're a top-notch Marine, 384 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,471 and you really work hard at it. 385 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,391 But you was a lady before you was a Marine. 386 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,186 And a mighty fine lady, too. 387 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,607 So maybe if you'd work a little 388 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,901 at that... 389 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,820 I mean... Maybe... 390 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,907 Maybe my nickname wouldn't be Ironpants? 391 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,161 Why, I... 392 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,537 [stammering] I never... 393 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,211 Good night, ma'am. 394 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,517 - Good night, Captain. - Good night, sir. 395 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,561 [sniffing] 396 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,357 - Captain Martin? - Yes, sir? 397 00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,069 That's very nice. Whatever it is you have on. 398 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,238 Thank you, sir. 399 00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,032 Very nice. Very nice, indeed. 400 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,717 Good evenin', ma'am. I was... 401 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:28,138 Whoa! Don't you look nice, ma'am. 402 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,515 Thank you, Private. 403 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,643 Real, real nice. 404 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,857 Well, what would you like for me to do this evenin'? 405 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,235 Private Pyle, you've completed your week of extra duty with me, you know. 406 00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:44,613 It won't be necessary for you to come back here anymore. 407 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:45,990 Oh, heck! 408 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:48,409 What? 409 00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:52,413 I was beginnin' to enjoy comin' here every evenin' after chow, ma'am. 410 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,248 And I'm gonna miss it, is what. 411 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:59,336 But don't you worry. I won't forget the lesson you wanted me to learn. 412 00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:01,839 I'll salute all officers whether they're man or woman. 413 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,257 Good. 414 00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,510 And next time you come passin' by, I know just what I'll do. 415 00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,262 - May I? - Mmm-hmm. 416 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,392 Good afternoon, ma'am. 417 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,688 - Very good, Private. - Thank you, ma'am. 418 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,566 Well... 419 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:24,153 I don't reckon I'll be seein' much of you anymore, ma'am. 420 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,405 Goodbye, Private. 421 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,824 Goodbye, ma'am. 422 00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:34,413 - Private? - Ma'am? 423 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:39,168 There are hundreds of men on this base who salute me when I walk by. 424 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,254 If you should forget 425 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,423 and tip your hat instead when I pass... 426 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:49,929 Well, if no one else is around, I'll try not to notice. 427 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:53,349 Oh, don't you worry, ma'am. I won't never forget. 428 00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:54,558 Well... 429 00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,227 Bye, ma'am. 430 00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,270 [stammering] 431 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,281 All right, let's go! Let's pick it all up! 432 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,617 Let's move it! Move it, move it! 433 00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,036 Attention! 434 00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,498 Afternoon, sir. Afternoon, ma'am. 435 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,797 As you were! All right, let's go! Let's pick it all up! 436 00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,548 Let's get this area cleaned up! 437 00:24:28,092 --> 00:24:30,719 Something interesting catch your eye, Private? 438 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,138 Don't she look nice, Sergeant? 439 00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:35,099 Don't she look real nice? 440 00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:39,269 - Huh? - Captain Martin. Don't she look nice? 441 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,771 Bless her heart. 442 00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:43,691 Pyle, that is a Marine captain you're looking at. 443 00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:46,151 That's all. A Marine captain! 444 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,445 Oh, yes, sir. But she's a lady. 445 00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,240 She's a real fine lady. 34203

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