All language subtitles for A Chinese Odyssey Part Two_ Cinderella.Chinese (Traditional) (CC)
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1
00:00:47,416 --> 00:00:49,541
[悲傷音樂]
2
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:28,750
[盤絲大仙笑]
3
00:02:32,208 --> 00:02:33,666
[盤絲大仙]好漂亮呀
4
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,208
[老人]各位客官
5
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:32,916
[老人]耽擱大家一會，很快就點著了
6
00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:45,875
[老人]不好意思，對不起呀
7
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:49,333
阿伯，你這樣點燈是點不著的
8
00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:51,416
只有油，沒有燈芯
9
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,041
[老人]我知道
10
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,750
[老人]可是燈芯不見了
有什麼辦法呢？
11
00:03:57,875 --> 00:03:58,791
再買一條吧
12
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:03,750
[老人]嗯…有道理
13
00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,791
[老人]姑娘，借問一聲
14
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:10,500
假如如來佛祖那盞神燈的燈芯不見了
15
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,750
那要上哪去買？
16
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,458
早知道你有問題，現身吧
17
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,833
[激昂音樂]
18
00:04:18,541 --> 00:04:23,458
哦…原來是二郎神
和南天門的四大天王
19
00:04:23,833 --> 00:04:26,333
紫霞，妳跟妳姐姐青霞仙子
20
00:04:26,416 --> 00:04:27,875
本來是佛祖日月明燈裡面
21
00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:29,083
捲在一起的燈芯
22
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,583
妳竟然擅自離開天庭
23
00:04:30,666 --> 00:04:31,750
還公開對人說
24
00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:34,166
誰能將妳手中的紫青寶劍拉出鞘
25
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:35,916
就是妳的如意郎君
26
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,708
妳是神仙，怎可以動凡心？
27
00:04:37,791 --> 00:04:39,708
假如被邪魔妖道拔了寶劍出來
28
00:04:39,791 --> 00:04:41,833
我們仙界豈不是成為笑柄？
29
00:04:41,958 --> 00:04:43,916
我不管是神仙也好，妖怪也好
30
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,208
這把劍只有我跟我的意中人才拉得開
31
00:04:46,291 --> 00:04:47,416
就算他是妖怪
32
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,250
[紫霞]我也會一心一意跟著他
33
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:52,416
如果不能跟我喜歡的人在一起
34
00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:55,125
就算讓我做玉皇大帝，我也不會開心
35
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,208
豈有此理，教而不善
36
00:04:57,291 --> 00:04:58,250
既然妳執迷不悟
37
00:04:58,333 --> 00:04:59,541
今日我就要替天行道
38
00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:00,916
要妳在人間和仙界消失
39
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,916
只羨鴛鴦不羨仙，消失就消失
40
00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:05,625
放肆
41
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:32,125
[痛苦呻吟]
42
00:06:18,791 --> 00:06:19,958
-呃…
-不用說了
43
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:22,416
-這件事誰說出去，我就殺了他
-哦
[狗低吼聲]
44
00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:25,083
-呃…
-我都說了不准說了
45
00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:28,083
不是啊，我想告訴你
你的吼天犬在外邊騎著一條母狗
46
00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:30,166
什麼？連牠也動凡心
47
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:31,583
好，今晚我就宰了牠來吃
48
00:06:31,666 --> 00:06:32,500
[四大天王齊聲]好啊…
49
00:06:32,583 --> 00:06:35,000
-我們四兄弟期待了很久了
-嗯？
50
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:49,416
晶晶
51
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:12,375
[夢幻音樂]
52
00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:13,291
晶晶
53
00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:16,291
怎麼會這樣？人呢？
54
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,875
[馬蹄聲]
55
00:07:46,541 --> 00:07:47,666
[紫霞]神仙？
56
00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:50,791
[紫霞]妖怪？
57
00:07:52,916 --> 00:07:53,875
謝謝
58
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,208
哎，盤絲洞不要亂闖
59
00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:01,500
盤絲洞？
60
00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:05,000
你當我不識字呀？水簾洞呀
61
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:06,041
[激昂音樂]
62
00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:14,458
盤絲洞，哈，這個名也蠻好聽的
63
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:20,125
就叫你盤絲洞吧
64
00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:24,500
好，我就住在這兒
65
00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:26,375
慢著
66
00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:37,708
哎，我現在鄭重宣佈
67
00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:39,708
在這個山頭所有東西都是我的
68
00:08:39,791 --> 00:08:40,833
包括你在內
69
00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:42,041
我？
70
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,375
是啊
71
00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:45,583
像我的驢子一樣，先給你蓋個章吧！
72
00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:53,250
你已經是我的人了
73
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,541
如果有人欺負你，就報我的名字
74
00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:58,208
從今日起，我叫盤絲大仙
[緊張音樂]
75
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:01,333
盤絲大仙？
76
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,583
五百年前？
77
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,500
[觀音聲]你沒有變成孫悟空托世
78
00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:15,166
[觀音聲]因為你還沒遇到
給你三顆痣的人
79
00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:27,500
[激昂音樂]
80
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,458
[紫霞]芝麻開門
81
00:09:36,416 --> 00:09:37,583
[紫霞]芝麻關門
82
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:52,791
[至尊寶]我不信…
83
00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:53,833
[至尊寶]我不要當猴子
84
00:09:53,916 --> 00:09:55,500
[至尊寶]我要回去救晶晶
85
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,833
[至尊寶]把寶盒還給我，拜託
86
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,458
芝麻開門
87
00:10:04,916 --> 00:10:05,750
嗯
88
00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:15,083
沒理由，明明聽到她說“芝麻開門”
哎？咦？
89
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,333
唔…
[激昂音樂]
90
00:10:32,791 --> 00:10:33,750
芝麻開門
91
00:10:38,708 --> 00:10:40,208
喂…太過分了吧？
92
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:49,666
怕了你啦，看來要找另一條路進去
93
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,583
上山
94
00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:57,375
[至尊寶]那一邊…
95
00:10:57,458 --> 00:10:58,875
[紫霞]芝麻開門
96
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:00,458
[至尊寶慘叫]
97
00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:04,125
誰啊…喂…
98
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,875
哈，怎麼壓得四分五裂了？
99
00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:21,583
[夢幻音樂]
100
00:11:21,666 --> 00:11:26,083
[紫霞]好棒呀
[歡呼]
101
00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:28,541
好棒
102
00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:31,291
有了這個月光寶盒呢
103
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:34,000
我就不怕被青霞姐姐追殺了
104
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:39,666
出來吧，鬼鬼祟祟的，害羞呀你？喂
105
00:11:42,041 --> 00:11:44,541
-這個月光寶盒呢…
-是我的
106
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:48,166
-什麼？
-我說過了，這裡所有東西都是我的
107
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,208
-你想幹嘛？
-沒…
108
00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:51,750
我聽見妳說想走
109
00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:53,208
不知可不可以帶我走呢？
110
00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:54,500
你也被人追殺呀？
111
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,166
我趕著去救人
112
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,083
救誰啊？
113
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,500
救我娘子
114
00:11:58,583 --> 00:12:01,083
就是白晶晶嘛，妳認識她的
115
00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:02,041
不認識
116
00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:03,583
我知道，但妳遲點就會認識
117
00:12:03,666 --> 00:12:05,250
因為她將會做妳的徒弟
118
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,625
-還有這個寶盒呢…
-我的
119
00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:10,083
我知道，但其實是我給了妳
120
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:12,000
然後妳再在那個時候交給我
121
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:13,458
那麼才會有我回到這裡
122
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:15,375
現在又交還給妳
123
00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:16,666
妳明白嗎？
124
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,083
我明白了，你有神經病
125
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,708
總之妳帶我走
126
00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:26,500
我為什麼要對你這麼好？
127
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:27,500
妳是我的主人
128
00:12:27,583 --> 00:12:29,708
妳走了
我一個人在這裡有什麼意思？
129
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,000
是嗎？
130
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,458
坐
131
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,375
地下
132
00:12:36,125 --> 00:12:37,333
手
133
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:44,666
乖啊，待會給你買件新衣服
讓你回去見娘子吧
134
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:46,458
-吠啊
-汪
135
00:12:46,541 --> 00:12:47,791
-投入點
-吼
136
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:50,833
-吼…
-[紫霞]好
137
00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:53,583
-吼…
-[紫霞]哎呀
138
00:12:53,666 --> 00:12:55,875
[輕柔音樂]
139
00:12:57,708 --> 00:12:59,541
仙子
140
00:13:00,541 --> 00:13:02,250
快走呀，月亮出來了
141
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:03,333
是時候了
142
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,541
走去哪兒？
143
00:13:05,208 --> 00:13:06,166
妳不走啊？
144
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,208
妳不走，把寶盒還給我，我走啊
145
00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:09,500
什麼寶盒？
146
00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:13,166
我是不會再等到明天晚上的
我告訴妳
147
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,500
妳也快點啦，還說？
148
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:17,208
要不然妳那個賤人姐姐走來迫害妳了
149
00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:20,625
賤人，到處跟人家說我迫害她
150
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:22,125
什麼？
151
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:24,083
我就是那個賤人的姐姐
152
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:25,416
[青霞]說我壞話
153
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:27,625
[紫霞]至尊寶
154
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,416
喂，至尊寶
155
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:34,208
你昨晚怎麼不叫醒我呀？
156
00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:41,125
喂，怎麼了？喂呀…喂
157
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:43,708
[紫霞]你走到那兒去？站住
158
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:45,875
坐下
[陰森音樂]
159
00:13:48,916 --> 00:13:50,041
椅子啊
160
00:13:58,333 --> 00:13:59,875
你怎麼了？
161
00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:03,291
怎麼這樣看我？
162
00:14:04,291 --> 00:14:05,458
你看到什麼啦？
163
00:14:06,958 --> 00:14:08,291
你看到她啦？
164
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:10,375
哎呀，你看到我姐姐？
165
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,916
她那麼快就追來啦？
166
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,708
她跟你說了什麼？
167
00:14:14,666 --> 00:14:17,083
你不要相信她，她是神經病
168
00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:20,833
我和她前世鬥得很厲害
169
00:14:20,916 --> 00:14:24,041
後來佛祖呢
就把我們捲在一起，成為一根燈芯
170
00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:25,708
打算要我們苦行修煉
171
00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:27,500
化解這段恩仇
172
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:30,208
但可惜啊，事與願違
173
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:32,250
我們比以前鬥得更加厲害
174
00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:34,666
不要說了，走吧…
175
00:14:38,791 --> 00:14:40,458
你以為我精神分裂嗎？
176
00:14:43,125 --> 00:14:47,208
我沒有，那個真的是我姐姐
177
00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:49,250
你不相信我嗎？
178
00:14:49,458 --> 00:14:51,750
來呀，喂，來啊…
179
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:53,833
我們把手綁在一起
180
00:14:53,916 --> 00:14:54,875
今天晚上你就知道
181
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,000
看來今晚不會有月光了
182
00:15:10,666 --> 00:15:11,583
是嗎？
183
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:17,625
賤人，妳跑不出我的五指山
184
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:27,333
[至尊寶]貴姓啊？先生
185
00:15:27,416 --> 00:15:28,708
姓林
186
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:32,958
原來妳就是我大哥說的那個林青霞
187
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:34,333
你大哥？
188
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,291
昨天被妳打那個傢伙，叫做至尊寶的
189
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:38,416
那你呢？
190
00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:42,250
我是他的雙胞胎弟弟至尊玉
191
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:45,458
至尊寶？玉尊玉？你想騙我啊？
192
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:47,750
妳真是冰雪聰明
193
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:49,791
其實我大哥的真名叫秦漢
194
00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:51,041
我叫秦祥林
195
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:52,541
這麼晚了，你在這裡幹什麼？
196
00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:55,125
我很仰慕妳
197
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,166
你仰慕我？
198
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:59,000
豈止仰慕？簡直怕失去妳
199
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,375
所以特地把我們兩人綁在一起
200
00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:03,250
妳接受我對妳的愛吧
201
00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,583
我們一起遠走高飛吧
202
00:16:05,541 --> 00:16:08,458
愛我就要先付出代價，嗯
203
00:16:09,041 --> 00:16:11,791
[至尊寶]廢話不說了
總之妳姐姐恨妳入骨
204
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,083
[至尊寶]我今天晚上騙她說我殺了妳
205
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:14,166
[至尊寶]妳以後就可安心
206
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,333
所以我要妳身上一件信物給她看
207
00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:19,208
妳有什麼項鍊、首飾
208
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:21,708
金銀珠寶、月光寶盒之類…
209
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:24,000
好呀，不過那些沒有用
210
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,958
你今天晚上拿我的紫青寶劍給她看
211
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,541
她一定會深信不疑的
212
00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:30,458
也好
213
00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:40,250
[激昂音樂]
214
00:16:41,916 --> 00:16:43,375
[紫霞心聲]竟然是他？
215
00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:50,375
喂，趁現在天未黑
帶我到市集去走走吧
216
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:52,833
[輕快音樂]
217
00:17:00,708 --> 00:17:02,208
-怎麼了？
-噓
218
00:17:02,291 --> 00:17:03,125
幹什麼？
219
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:05,083
我的心跳得好厲害
220
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,500
那怎麼辦？
221
00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:07,500
來
222
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,791
現在大師兄變了人樣
223
00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:11,708
還跟紫霞仙子在一起
224
00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:13,375
難道抓師父這件事
225
00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:14,916
紫霞仙子也有份？
226
00:17:15,166 --> 00:17:16,583
[沙僧]我們跟蹤他，不要打草驚蛇
227
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,541
論智慧跟武功
228
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:20,416
我一直比大師兄高一點點
229
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,375
但是現在多了一個紫霞仙子
230
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,000
他恐怕比我高一點點了
231
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:25,458
這邊有我嘛
232
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:27,041
就是因為多了你這個負累
233
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:28,583
他才會高我一點點
234
00:17:28,666 --> 00:17:31,125
[女子]這個豬頭切半邊給我，謝謝
235
00:17:31,541 --> 00:17:36,166
夠了，豬頭不賣，豬粉腸要不要？
236
00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:43,125
-幹什麼？
-我的意中人在附近
237
00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:44,416
是嗎？妳看到他了？
238
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:48,500
不是，因為我的紫青寶劍
發出嘟嘟的訊號
239
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:50,166
哪來的嘟嘟聲？
240
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:53,625
嘟…對不對呀？
241
00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,416
是妳在嘟，寶劍沒有嘟呀
242
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:58,708
我知道你聽不見，才嘟給你聽
243
00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:01,541
完了，我好害怕啊
244
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,333
你相信我吧，我真的好害怕啊
245
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,500
妳怕什麼？
246
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,625
[紫霞]這段姻緣是上天安排的
你說多可怕？
247
00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:09,083
又來了？
248
00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:12,208
是啊，我的心又在跳
249
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:13,708
我的寶劍又在嘟
250
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,208
怎麼辦？
我怎麼跟他說？怎麼跟他說呢？
251
00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:20,041
照直說吧
說上天安排了這麼一段姻緣
252
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:23,208
那麼…如果他不喜歡我
253
00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:24,666
或是他有老婆呢？
254
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:28,166
也奈妳不何，上天的安排是最大
255
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:30,041
真的？
256
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:33,416
上天安排的，還不是最厲害的啊？
257
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:37,416
說得也對，對…
258
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:43,041
他來到了
259
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,166
不會是我吧？
260
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:48,500
是啊，你怎麼知道？就是你
261
00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:51,791
你知不知道？
我剛才都不知道怎麼跟你說才好
262
00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:53,291
你真是聰明啊
263
00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,166
但是我有老婆了
264
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:58,583
我知道，可是我也沒辦法呀
265
00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:01,958
這段姻緣是上天安排，是最大嘛
266
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:05,208
你現在呢，唯有甩掉你那個老婆
267
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,625
跟我一起走
268
00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,750
也好啊
269
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:10,958
好啊？
270
00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:12,708
簡直太好了
271
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,375
那麼我們立刻開始大家這段感情吧
272
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,083
立刻開始吧
273
00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:18,375
那我們先親一下吧
274
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,041
噢…聽見就興奮了
275
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:20,958
來啊
276
00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:24,000
該死
277
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:34,458
把寶盒還給我
278
00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:37,125
你騙我
279
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:38,625
你根本不想親我
280
00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:40,291
你剛剛說的話全都是騙我的
281
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:43,833
我是認真的，妳先把寶盒還給我
282
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:46,458
要不要我把心拿出來給妳看看？
283
00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:48,291
不用，我自己來
284
00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:59,166
嘩，你的良心怎麼像椰青一樣？
285
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:01,666
[良心]小姐，無可否認，我長得很醜
286
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:06,416
[良心]不過我很醜，但我很溫柔
而且永遠不會說謊
287
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,291
那你老實告訴我
288
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,500
他跟他娘子是不是很恩愛？
289
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:13,916
[菩提老祖]那個混蛋
我見一次打一次
290
00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:17,125
菩提大哥，你看看他
291
00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:19,541
[菩提老祖]果然，我看看
292
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,750
嗯，真的不會動
293
00:20:27,958 --> 00:20:29,125
我明白了
294
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:33,500
[菩提老祖]搜搜他的身，來吧
295
00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:41,333
喂，老兄，什麼意思啊？
296
00:20:41,416 --> 00:20:43,958
沒什麼，我看你身材好，所以摸摸看
297
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:45,958
原來如此，難怪
298
00:20:46,041 --> 00:20:48,625
那即是沒問題吧，繼續吧，你搜下面
299
00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:50,250
[紫霞]誰的手啊？
300
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,916
你說什麼？
301
00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:53,875
[紫霞]拿開！
302
00:20:54,708 --> 00:20:57,750
嘩，神仙呀
303
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,000
鬧夠了沒有？
304
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,666
[悲傷音樂]
305
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,291
喂，你別生氣，我是跟你鬧著玩的
306
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,541
寶盒其實在我姐姐手上
307
00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:19,416
[紫霞]她一定會還給你的
308
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:20,666
[至尊寶]怎麼敢生妳的氣呢？大姐
309
00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:23,875
[至尊寶]把妳放上神台
當觀音般供著還來不及呢
310
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,750
[紫霞]天黑了，我去避開姐姐
311
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:35,166
[紫霞]祝你好運
312
00:21:39,708 --> 00:21:41,041
有好運才怪
313
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:50,291
青霞
314
00:21:50,625 --> 00:21:52,500
妳在哪裡呀？
315
00:21:52,708 --> 00:21:54,166
出來呀
316
00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:56,625
我已經殺了妳妹妹啦
317
00:21:59,916 --> 00:22:03,166
[爆炸聲]
[激昂音樂]
318
00:22:10,541 --> 00:22:12,333
[觀音]孫悟空，你這隻畜生
319
00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:14,583
[觀音]你為了跟牛魔王的妹妹成親
320
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,500
[觀音]竟然把師父唐三藏作賀禮
321
00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:20,541
[觀音]還約了妖魔鬼怪吃唐三藏？
322
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:23,125
八婆
323
00:22:24,666 --> 00:22:26,541
妳追了我三天三夜
324
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:28,708
我看妳是女人才不打妳
325
00:22:28,916 --> 00:22:30,791
不要以為我怕了妳
326
00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:33,833
悟空
327
00:22:33,916 --> 00:22:36,750
你怎可以跟觀音姐姐這樣講話呢？
328
00:22:37,416 --> 00:22:39,333
[恕吼]
別吵
329
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:41,583
你又嚇我了
330
00:22:42,708 --> 00:22:44,291
孫悟空、唐三藏？
331
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,125
[觀音]你知不知道
你已經犯了彌天大罪啊？
332
00:22:48,208 --> 00:22:51,041
[觀音]你還搶了紫霞仙子的月光寶盒
333
00:22:51,125 --> 00:22:53,375
[觀音]分明就是想避開我
334
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:55,500
既然避無可避
335
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,541
老孫就跟妳決一死戰啦
[拋物聲]
336
00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:00,250
做什麼啊？
337
00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:14,416
悟空，你真是調皮啦
338
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,958
我教你很多次不要亂扔東西
339
00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:18,291
你又不聽話了
340
00:23:19,208 --> 00:23:21,208
[唐三藏]我還沒說完，你又扔棍子了
341
00:23:21,291 --> 00:23:22,458
月光寶盒是寶物
342
00:23:22,541 --> 00:23:26,208
你把它這樣亂扔，會染污環境的
343
00:23:26,291 --> 00:23:28,500
啊，很容易砸著小朋友
344
00:23:28,583 --> 00:23:29,625
就算沒有小朋友
345
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,875
砸到那些花花草草也不好
346
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,750
做什麼？
347
00:23:35,916 --> 00:23:37,083
放手
348
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,041
你想要呀？
349
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,125
[唐三藏]你想要就說嘛
350
00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:41,208
你想要的話，我會給你的
351
00:23:41,291 --> 00:23:43,375
你不想要，我當然不會給你的
352
00:23:43,458 --> 00:23:45,375
不可能你說要，我不給你
353
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,166
你說不要，我卻偏要給你
354
00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:48,791
[唐三藏]大家講道理嘛
355
00:23:48,875 --> 00:23:49,750
[唐三藏]現在我數三聲
356
00:23:49,833 --> 00:23:52,083
-你要說清楚你要不要，一…
-[孫悟空]我打
[唐三藏慘叫]
357
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:56,083
[觀音]什麼？孫悟空
[孫悟空奸笑]
358
00:24:00,208 --> 00:24:01,375
妳也看到啦
359
00:24:01,458 --> 00:24:03,166
這傢伙說話長篇大論、答非所問
360
00:24:03,250 --> 00:24:04,375
嘰嘰歪歪
361
00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:06,916
就像整天有隻蒼蠅纏著
[模仿蒼蠅聲]
362
00:24:09,208 --> 00:24:10,833
對不起，不是一隻
363
00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:13,625
是一堆蒼蠅在妳耳邊
[模仿蒼蠅聲]
364
00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:20,125
一直飛到妳腦袋裡面
365
00:24:21,166 --> 00:24:22,916
救命啊！
366
00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:27,750
救命啊！
[痛苦呻吟]
[不安音樂]
367
00:24:35,208 --> 00:24:37,291
於是我就抓住這隻蒼蠅
擠破牠的肚子
368
00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:38,208
把牠的腸子擠出來
369
00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:42,291
再將腸子纏著牠脖子，用力一拉
[痛苦呻吟]
370
00:24:42,375 --> 00:24:46,500
整條舌根出來了
我再手起刀落，嘩！
371
00:24:49,208 --> 00:24:51,791
整個世界清靜了
372
00:24:55,291 --> 00:24:57,083
現在你們知道…
373
00:24:58,583 --> 00:24:59,958
我為什麼要吃了他
374
00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:01,458
真的嗎？
375
00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:02,875
[觀音]諸多藉口
376
00:25:03,041 --> 00:25:04,625
[觀音]你根本不想去取西經
377
00:25:04,708 --> 00:25:06,750
[觀音]不管怎麼解釋也不能原諒你
378
00:25:06,833 --> 00:25:07,916
[觀音]欺師滅祖的行為
379
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:09,750
姐姐
380
00:25:11,125 --> 00:25:13,833
-妳這樣說也不對
-[觀音]什麼？
381
00:25:14,958 --> 00:25:16,500
悟空要吃我
382
00:25:16,708 --> 00:25:18,166
只不過是一個構思
383
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,000
還沒有成為一個事實
384
00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:21,958
妳又沒有證據
385
00:25:22,041 --> 00:25:23,958
他又何罪之有呢？
386
00:25:24,208 --> 00:25:26,333
不如等他吃了我之後
387
00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:29,958
妳有證有據，再定他的罪也不遲
388
00:25:30,083 --> 00:25:32,875
[觀音]唐三藏
你囉嗦，我早就聽說過了
389
00:25:32,958 --> 00:25:34,750
[觀音]不過沒想到你居然這麼囉嗦
390
00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:37,041
[觀音]我以前給你金剛圈
讓你用來制服這猴子
391
00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:38,041
[觀音]你竟然不用？
392
00:25:38,708 --> 00:25:41,875
哎，說起那個金剛圈，尺碼太差
393
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,541
前重後輕，左寬右窄
394
00:25:44,625 --> 00:25:46,916
他戴上之後很不舒服
395
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,541
整晚失眠，會連累我嘛
396
00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:51,625
[唐三藏]他雖然是隻猴子
[蒼蠅聲]
397
00:25:51,708 --> 00:25:53,625
[唐三藏]可是妳也不能這樣虐待他呀
[蒼蠅聲]
398
00:25:53,708 --> 00:25:56,666
[唐三藏]官府知道會告我虐待動物的
[蒼蠅聲]
399
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,000
說起那個金剛圈，啊
400
00:25:59,083 --> 00:26:01,791
去年我在陳家村認識了一位鐵匠
401
00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:04,375
他手工精美，價錢公道
402
00:26:04,458 --> 00:26:05,833
童叟無欺
403
00:26:05,916 --> 00:26:08,958
乾脆我介紹妳，再訂造一個吧
404
00:26:10,375 --> 00:26:11,833
-[孫悟空]閉嘴
-[觀音]別吵
405
00:26:15,666 --> 00:26:17,416
[觀音]罪過…
406
00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:23,750
現在妳體會到我的痛苦了吧
407
00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:26,208
[孫悟空]回答我
408
00:26:29,958 --> 00:26:31,416
[至尊寶]嘿，太好了
409
00:26:34,208 --> 00:26:37,500
我叫過你不要亂扔東西了
410
00:26:40,208 --> 00:26:41,125
什麼？
411
00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:50,250
[觀音]妖猴，受死吧
[猴子慘叫聲]
412
00:26:53,208 --> 00:26:54,291
憑妳也想收服我
413
00:26:54,375 --> 00:26:55,375
妳以為妳是如來佛祖呀？
414
00:26:55,750 --> 00:26:57,666
不要打了…
415
00:26:57,750 --> 00:26:58,666
觀音姐姐
416
00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:00,875
求妳放過悟空，不要殺他啦
417
00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:06,333
你們不要打了
418
00:27:10,583 --> 00:27:12,250
[悲壯音樂]
419
00:27:19,916 --> 00:27:22,416
[觀音]今天我要替天行道
420
00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:25,500
觀音姐姐，手下留情呀
421
00:27:25,708 --> 00:27:27,125
試問人誰無過？
422
00:27:27,208 --> 00:27:28,333
他總算是我的徒弟
423
00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:31,208
[唐三藏]徒弟有錯，做師父也有責任
424
00:27:31,291 --> 00:27:34,041
[唐三藏]求觀音姐姐放他一條生路吧
425
00:27:34,375 --> 00:27:37,208
[觀音]我不消滅他
無法向玉皇大帝交代
426
00:27:37,416 --> 00:27:39,125
我不會使妳為難的
427
00:27:39,208 --> 00:27:40,875
請妳跟玉皇大帝說一聲
428
00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:44,000
貧僧願意一命換一命
429
00:27:44,541 --> 00:27:45,708
[觀音]什麼？
430
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,333
正所謂我不入地獄，誰入地獄？
431
00:27:51,416 --> 00:27:53,125
求姐姐妳體諒
432
00:27:53,208 --> 00:27:57,166
我這樣做，無非是想感化劣徒
433
00:27:57,250 --> 00:28:01,750
以配合我佛慈悲的大無畏精神啊
434
00:28:06,791 --> 00:28:08,250
[觀音]善哉…
435
00:28:08,333 --> 00:28:10,875
[觀音]悟空
希望你有一天能夠領悟到
436
00:28:10,958 --> 00:28:13,875
[觀音]你師父這種捨身取義的精神
437
00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:26,666
喃嘸阿彌陀佛
438
00:28:28,250 --> 00:28:29,083
[慘叫]
439
00:28:48,416 --> 00:28:50,208
[至尊寶]難道昨晚又做噩夢了？
440
00:28:50,583 --> 00:28:51,458
[至尊寶]這次麻煩大了
441
00:28:51,541 --> 00:28:53,333
[至尊寶]沒有一次做的噩夢是好的
442
00:28:53,916 --> 00:28:55,083
[至尊寶]青霞呢？
443
00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:56,375
[至尊寶]沒來過呀？
444
00:28:56,708 --> 00:28:58,500
[至尊寶]青霞
445
00:29:01,791 --> 00:29:04,583
[至尊寶]各位老闆，大家好嗎？
446
00:29:04,666 --> 00:29:06,625
晚上天氣好冷啊
有沒有多穿件衣服啊？
447
00:29:06,708 --> 00:29:07,916
小弟因為迷了路
448
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,875
不知道能否讓我借宿一宵呢？
449
00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:11,958
馬屁精，到那邊睡覺
450
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:13,083
老闆，祝你大吉大利
451
00:29:13,166 --> 00:29:15,041
並祝老闆萬壽無疆
452
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,708
[豬八戒]明明看見大師兄上山來了嘛
453
00:29:21,791 --> 00:29:23,666
怎麼突然不見了？
454
00:29:24,041 --> 00:29:25,875
都是你害的，尿什麼尿嘛？
455
00:29:25,958 --> 00:29:27,291
再忍一會也不行
456
00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:28,916
嗯…尿尿也要抱怨？
[陰森音樂]
457
00:29:41,875 --> 00:29:43,416
黑風老妖？
458
00:30:11,166 --> 00:30:12,208
悟空
459
00:30:12,416 --> 00:30:14,250
你又扮人樣啦？
460
00:30:14,833 --> 00:30:17,041
-你認得為師嗎？
-什麼？
461
00:30:17,125 --> 00:30:18,500
又是你個混蛋
462
00:30:18,875 --> 00:30:19,958
-你…
-悟空…
463
00:30:21,791 --> 00:30:23,875
不可能，一定是在做夢
464
00:30:23,958 --> 00:30:28,166
悟空，要做夢還早著呢，不過…
465
00:30:28,250 --> 00:30:30,250
我在時空穿梭的時候
466
00:30:30,333 --> 00:30:32,333
經常在夢裡見到你
467
00:30:32,583 --> 00:30:34,458
你是不是很想念為師啊？
468
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:37,250
對了，那月光寶盒在你那兒
469
00:30:37,375 --> 00:30:39,375
是在我這兒，你還想要？
470
00:30:39,458 --> 00:30:40,541
[老闆]是誰啊？
471
00:30:42,666 --> 00:30:44,625
-什麼？什麼事呀？
-有官差啊
472
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:45,875
來做什麼？
473
00:30:47,125 --> 00:30:49,583
他也想在這兒借宿一晚，是我爹
474
00:30:49,666 --> 00:30:50,833
沒問題吧？
475
00:30:51,541 --> 00:30:52,833
你爹？
476
00:30:52,916 --> 00:30:56,416
[奇妙音效]是啊，爹
出來跟諸位大哥…打招呼
477
00:30:57,583 --> 00:30:58,791
他哪兒來的？
478
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:01,083
印度來的
479
00:31:01,166 --> 00:31:03,250
-印度？
-印度？怎麼沒聽過？
480
00:31:03,333 --> 00:31:05,125
我們明天還要趕路，你睡那邊吧！
481
00:31:05,625 --> 00:31:06,708
謝謝
482
00:31:07,333 --> 00:31:08,750
真吵死人了
483
00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:10,375
真麻煩
484
00:31:11,291 --> 00:31:12,291
[至尊寶]躺上去
485
00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:13,791
真要命啊
486
00:31:13,875 --> 00:31:16,708
剛剛才從印度那邊才睡醒，又要我睡
487
00:31:16,791 --> 00:31:18,000
趴下吧，混蛋
488
00:31:18,083 --> 00:31:19,041
月光寶盒在哪裡？
489
00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:21,791
悟空，你斯文點，行不行？
490
00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:25,458
為什麼老是那麼猴急呢？你看
491
00:31:25,541 --> 00:31:27,583
[陰森音樂]
492
00:31:54,416 --> 00:31:55,333
他在幹什麼？
493
00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:57,166
他在吸陽氣啊
494
00:31:57,250 --> 00:31:58,250
裝睡吧
495
00:31:58,333 --> 00:32:00,500
希望他吸飽了別人就不吸我們了
快睡啊
496
00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:14,875
[孫悟空和唐三藏齊聲]快走
497
00:33:22,458 --> 00:33:24,875
[唐三藏]你不認得我了
498
00:33:25,083 --> 00:33:26,250
剛剛那印度阿三…
499
00:33:27,708 --> 00:33:29,166
你喜歡啊？拿去吧
500
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:31,541
-[至尊寶]嘩，我不是你師兄，豬頭
-我徒弟叫我，再見
501
00:33:31,625 --> 00:33:34,083
[豬八戒]師兄
[爆炸聲]
502
00:33:39,041 --> 00:33:40,541
我叫過你不要玩火了嘛
503
00:33:40,625 --> 00:33:42,458
阿彌陀佛，再見
504
00:33:42,750 --> 00:33:46,375
-[至尊寶]你們不要煩我
-[豬八戒]不要走
505
00:33:46,458 --> 00:33:48,916
師父，終於能夠見到你了
506
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,083
那個盒子呢？盒子呢？
[牛魔王怒叫]
507
00:33:55,458 --> 00:33:56,583
又是牛魔王？
508
00:33:57,125 --> 00:33:59,875
賢弟，你把唐三藏抓來給我啦
509
00:33:59,958 --> 00:34:01,666
[牛魔王大笑]
510
00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:05,958
[喜慶音樂]
511
00:34:11,541 --> 00:34:13,750
[賓客]恭喜香香小姐新婚之喜
512
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,291
[狗吠聲]
513
00:34:18,041 --> 00:34:21,333
小姐，毛巾
[小姐抽泣]
514
00:34:21,666 --> 00:34:24,125
妳哭什麼哭？要哭也是我哭吧
515
00:34:24,583 --> 00:34:28,750
我不是哭，我看到你流口水嘛
516
00:34:32,833 --> 00:34:34,791
[牛魔王]招呼不周，請見諒
517
00:34:34,875 --> 00:34:37,083
[沙僧與豬八戒齊聲]師兄…
518
00:34:37,166 --> 00:34:38,791
今天可說是雙喜臨門
519
00:34:39,125 --> 00:34:40,000
[賓客齊聲]為什麼？
520
00:34:40,833 --> 00:34:44,000
今天除了舍妹出閣之日
521
00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:47,583
也是我雄牛納妾之時
522
00:34:48,083 --> 00:34:49,458
你說納妾？
523
00:34:49,541 --> 00:34:51,125
那大嫂沒有意見嗎？
524
00:34:51,208 --> 00:34:52,333
那黃臉婆不解人意
525
00:34:52,416 --> 00:34:54,208
她現在在十萬九千里外的火焰山裡
526
00:34:54,291 --> 00:34:55,666
就算她日後知道也奈何不了我
527
00:34:58,291 --> 00:35:00,750
牛大哥，你到底怎麼認識
528
00:35:00,833 --> 00:35:03,166
這位新夫人呢？啊？
529
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,500
我前晚路過洛陽沙漠
530
00:35:07,583 --> 00:35:10,291
看到一個貌美如花的女子
[賓客驚訝]
531
00:35:10,458 --> 00:35:12,291
趴在地上奄奄一息
532
00:35:12,375 --> 00:35:13,500
大師兄，現在怎麼辦？
533
00:35:13,583 --> 00:35:15,250
好了啦，沒問題啦…
534
00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:17,916
[賓客]那不是紫霞仙子嗎？
是啊，是紫霞啊
535
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,500
-[豬八戒]這次成功了
-紫霞
536
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:21,750
妳的名字太好聽了
537
00:35:24,708 --> 00:35:28,541
我來介紹我妹夫和妹妹給妳認識
538
00:35:28,875 --> 00:35:31,125
香香、賢弟
539
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:32,208
[悲傷音樂]
540
00:35:32,291 --> 00:35:33,750
[牛魔王]來…跟我來
541
00:35:39,416 --> 00:35:40,750
[牛魔王]這個呢，是我妹夫
542
00:35:40,958 --> 00:35:43,041
這是我妹妹香香
543
00:35:43,333 --> 00:35:44,416
紫霞姑娘
544
00:35:51,041 --> 00:35:52,750
你能留在這裡成親嗎？
545
00:35:53,625 --> 00:35:54,791
可以吧
546
00:35:56,333 --> 00:35:58,125
那你家裡的老婆怎麼辦？
547
00:35:58,625 --> 00:36:00,583
老婆？你們兩個認識嗎？
548
00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:04,541
你有老婆？
549
00:36:04,625 --> 00:36:05,958
已經離婚了
550
00:36:06,041 --> 00:36:08,500
為什麼我從來就沒有聽你說過呢？
551
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,375
哎呀…妹妹
552
00:36:10,458 --> 00:36:13,583
男人有三妻四妾很平常嘛
553
00:36:13,791 --> 00:36:15,416
[牛魔王]不用那麼緊張
554
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:17,875
賢弟，你說對不對？
555
00:36:18,625 --> 00:36:19,500
對…
556
00:36:20,833 --> 00:36:22,375
紫霞，實不相瞞
557
00:36:22,625 --> 00:36:24,333
經過這兩天朝夕相處
558
00:36:24,416 --> 00:36:26,875
我發覺我已經深深愛上妳
559
00:36:27,125 --> 00:36:28,500
為了表示對妳的誠意
560
00:36:29,083 --> 00:36:31,166
我當著這麼多兄弟面前向妳求婚
561
00:36:31,250 --> 00:36:32,333
這個月光寶盒
562
00:36:32,541 --> 00:36:34,500
[牛魔王]是我送給妳的訂情信物
563
00:36:34,583 --> 00:36:36,583
[牛魔王]希望妳會答應我
564
00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:38,916
-我反對這門親事
-什麼？
565
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,416
-你說什麼？
-讓我來，說什麼…
566
00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:43,250
人家郎才女貌，天生一對
567
00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:44,958
輪到你們這些妖怪來反對啊？
568
00:36:45,375 --> 00:36:48,750
紫霞仙子擇偶是有一個規矩的
569
00:36:48,833 --> 00:36:50,541
如果大哥你能做得到
570
00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:52,125
我們就心服口服
571
00:36:52,208 --> 00:36:53,333
有什麼規矩啊？
572
00:36:53,625 --> 00:36:55,625
規矩就是…
573
00:36:55,708 --> 00:36:59,750
誰能把她的紫青寶劍拔出鞘的話
574
00:36:59,833 --> 00:37:01,875
就是她的如意中人
575
00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:07,041
[賓客齊聲]紫青寶劍
576
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,250
讓我來
577
00:37:10,083 --> 00:37:11,416
沒有這種事
578
00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:14,166
這個只不過是我以前
跟大家開的一個玩笑
579
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,000
[賓客齊聲]開玩笑？
580
00:37:16,375 --> 00:37:18,708
這把劍誰拔得出，誰拔不出
581
00:37:18,791 --> 00:37:20,125
根本沒有關係
582
00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:25,875
你們這些混蛋在我地盤瞎搞和？
583
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:27,791
誰敢阻止我，誰就死
584
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:31,375
[激昂音樂]
585
00:37:35,166 --> 00:37:37,833
誰敢阻止我，我就殺了誰
586
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,541
大王，鐵扇公主來了
587
00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:49,708
哎，妳怎麼躲在這裡啊？
588
00:37:51,541 --> 00:37:52,875
[至尊寶心聲]當時那把劍距離我喉嚨
589
00:37:52,958 --> 00:37:54,791
[至尊寶心聲]只有0.01公分
590
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,750
[至尊寶心聲]但是四分之一炷香之後
591
00:37:56,833 --> 00:37:59,041
[至尊寶心聲]那把劍的女主人
將會徹底地愛上我
592
00:37:59,125 --> 00:38:00,250
[至尊寶心聲]因為我決定說一個謊話
593
00:38:00,958 --> 00:38:02,666
[至尊寶心聲]雖然本人生平
說了無數的謊話
594
00:38:03,375 --> 00:38:07,166
[至尊寶心聲]但是這一個
我認為是最完美的
595
00:38:08,333 --> 00:38:09,958
你再往前半步，我就把你給殺了
596
00:38:11,041 --> 00:38:13,000
妳應該這麼做
[悲傷音樂]
597
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:15,375
我也應該死
598
00:38:16,250 --> 00:38:19,791
曾經有一份真誠的愛情放在我面前
599
00:38:20,291 --> 00:38:21,791
我沒有珍惜
600
00:38:22,291 --> 00:38:23,875
[至尊寶]等我失去的時候
601
00:38:24,333 --> 00:38:26,458
我才後悔莫及
602
00:38:27,916 --> 00:38:31,291
塵世間最痛苦的事莫過於此
603
00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:35,833
妳的劍在我的咽喉上割下去吧
604
00:38:36,208 --> 00:38:38,000
不用再猶豫了
605
00:38:40,250 --> 00:38:43,500
如果上天能夠給我一個
再來一次的機會
606
00:38:44,166 --> 00:38:46,208
我會對那個女孩說三個字
607
00:38:48,833 --> 00:38:50,291
“我愛妳”
608
00:38:52,458 --> 00:38:55,541
如果非要在這份愛上面加一個期限
609
00:38:58,333 --> 00:39:00,916
我希望是一萬年
610
00:39:13,625 --> 00:39:16,625
那麼你怎麼向你那位娘子交代？
611
00:39:16,958 --> 00:39:18,375
一定要交代
612
00:39:18,916 --> 00:39:21,041
所以我一定要拿回那個月光寶盒
613
00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:23,583
帶妳一起回去，跟她說清楚
614
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:27,041
我不管別人怎麼說我
615
00:39:27,791 --> 00:39:32,250
也不怕後世會有千千萬萬的人
對我唾罵
616
00:39:33,958 --> 00:39:35,583
我一個人承受
617
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,541
你不要騙我
618
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,666
但是我痛恨我自己
619
00:39:41,750 --> 00:39:44,166
沒本事去拿回那個寶盒
620
00:39:45,041 --> 00:39:46,708
-我…
-我幫你…
621
00:39:46,875 --> 00:39:48,875
不要，太危險了
622
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,125
你不想？
623
00:39:51,541 --> 00:39:52,500
想
624
00:39:52,583 --> 00:39:55,458
我怎會金屋藏嬌呢？夫人，只是謠傳
625
00:39:55,541 --> 00:39:56,958
我才不相信你
626
00:39:57,750 --> 00:39:59,541
哼，你們在這兒幹什麼？
627
00:40:05,916 --> 00:40:07,166
她是誰啊？
628
00:40:10,333 --> 00:40:12,125
我問你啊，她是誰啊？
629
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:13,875
她…
630
00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:16,458
[牛魔王]賢弟，她是誰啊？你說呀
631
00:40:16,541 --> 00:40:18,083
她是我的髮妻
632
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:21,458
嘩，妳聽到了吧？賢弟，你太過分了
633
00:40:21,541 --> 00:40:22,458
好兄弟
634
00:40:22,541 --> 00:40:24,166
你居然還把妹妹嫁給他？
635
00:40:24,250 --> 00:40:27,333
所以他老婆也看不過去，用劍刺他呀
636
00:40:28,041 --> 00:40:30,458
你跟我過來，我有話要問清楚你
637
00:40:31,083 --> 00:40:32,708
原來你有老婆呀
638
00:40:32,791 --> 00:40:33,666
已經沒感情了
639
00:40:34,166 --> 00:40:37,208
你跟我說清楚整件事的來龍去脈
640
00:40:37,291 --> 00:40:38,625
我說過啦，大嫂
641
00:40:39,125 --> 00:40:41,916
嗯…你叫我大嫂？
642
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,833
對不起，應該是牛夫人
643
00:40:46,666 --> 00:40:48,500
以前一起看月亮的時候
644
00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:50,625
就叫人家做小甜甜
645
00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:55,000
現在新人勝舊人了，就叫人家牛夫人
646
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,666
小甜甜？
647
00:40:59,375 --> 00:41:00,958
你以為我這麼辛苦回來這裡
648
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:02,708
真的是為了這條臭牛嗎？
649
00:41:02,875 --> 00:41:06,791
是為了你這個沒良心的臭猴子
[至尊寶慘叫]
650
00:41:08,041 --> 00:41:10,291
賢弟為我擋這一刀，真是難為你了
651
00:41:10,625 --> 00:41:12,083
[至尊寶]不關我的事
652
00:41:13,750 --> 00:41:17,000
我不管，今晚二更時分
你一定要在這裡等我
653
00:41:17,083 --> 00:41:18,833
大家好好說清楚
654
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:25,958
如果我是妳啊
655
00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:27,875
我老公要討小老婆，我就死了算了
656
00:41:27,958 --> 00:41:30,750
-真的？
-沒錯，不過先把你閹了
657
00:41:30,833 --> 00:41:31,791
跟我走
658
00:41:35,750 --> 00:41:36,833
紫霞，那麼我…
659
00:41:36,916 --> 00:41:38,041
我相信你
660
00:41:39,083 --> 00:41:40,625
今晚我去拿月光寶盒
[輕快音樂]
661
00:41:40,708 --> 00:41:42,041
二更在這裡見
662
00:41:43,291 --> 00:41:44,833
[沙僧與豬八戒齊聲]師兄…
663
00:41:44,916 --> 00:41:46,375
那麼我先搞定我的兄弟
664
00:41:46,458 --> 00:41:47,625
今晚見
665
00:41:55,083 --> 00:42:01,083
[打更聲]
666
00:42:09,958 --> 00:42:12,666
[鐵扇公主]
死猴子，都二更了，還沒出現
667
00:42:13,458 --> 00:42:16,041
[豬八戒、沙僧齊聲]大師兄…
668
00:42:16,125 --> 00:42:17,041
[豬八戒]對不對？
669
00:42:17,125 --> 00:42:19,250
我早跟你說大師兄不會敷衍我們
670
00:42:19,333 --> 00:42:20,708
一定會來救師父的
671
00:42:20,791 --> 00:42:23,041
這麼晚出來，難道是尿尿的嗎？
672
00:42:25,541 --> 00:42:26,458
不用誇獎
673
00:42:26,541 --> 00:42:29,041
我高你一點而已，沒什麼大不了的
674
00:42:29,708 --> 00:42:32,125
-別那麼多廢話啦，快去救師父，走
-又讚我了
675
00:42:32,208 --> 00:42:33,708
-其實我真的是出來尿尿
-[沙僧、豬八戒齊聲]走吧
676
00:42:34,083 --> 00:42:36,958
-[守衛一]哪有人一整晚這麼嘮叨？
-[守衛二]是，哪有人會這麼多話？
677
00:42:37,041 --> 00:42:39,000
-[守衛一]我受不了啦，走吧
-[守衛二]走吧
678
00:42:39,125 --> 00:42:41,250
-我肯定師父就在裡面了
-[沙僧]對…
679
00:42:41,333 --> 00:42:43,291
除了他之外，沒有人會讓人受不了
680
00:42:43,375 --> 00:42:44,791
你們先進去，我在後面…
681
00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:46,125
-[沙僧]走吧
-[豬八戒]你在中間
682
00:42:48,416 --> 00:42:51,708
-[豬八戒]進去
-[沙僧]就在這裡…這裡啊，來吧
683
00:42:51,791 --> 00:42:52,916
[豬八戒]師父
684
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,791
[豬八戒]師父啊，師父
685
00:42:54,875 --> 00:42:56,833
-[沙僧]師父，我們來帶你走的
-[豬八戒]我和他們來救你
686
00:42:56,916 --> 00:42:58,500
我不會走的
687
00:42:58,958 --> 00:43:00,625
-[豬八戒]什麼？為什麼？
-[沙僧]什麼？你不走？
688
00:43:01,333 --> 00:43:03,625
[唐三藏]我們師徒四人這次取西經
689
00:43:03,708 --> 00:43:05,875
[唐三藏]可以說是困難重重
690
00:43:06,625 --> 00:43:09,125
[唐三藏]原因是我們不同心協力
691
00:43:09,208 --> 00:43:12,250
[唐三藏]所以被妖魔鬼怪得逞
692
00:43:12,416 --> 00:43:13,750
[唐三藏]既然如此
693
00:43:13,833 --> 00:43:17,791
[唐三藏]我在這監獄裡
跟在外面有什麼分別呢？
694
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,583
[唐三藏]外面對我來說
695
00:43:19,666 --> 00:43:22,375
[唐三藏]只不過是個大一點的監獄
696
00:43:22,583 --> 00:43:26,500
[唐三藏]你們先出去
我有話跟大師兄說
697
00:43:27,666 --> 00:43:28,791
師父
698
00:43:29,416 --> 00:43:31,041
[唐三藏]八戒，你又不聽話
699
00:43:31,708 --> 00:43:33,041
不是呀，師父
700
00:43:33,125 --> 00:43:35,333
那我在外面幫你把風
701
00:43:35,416 --> 00:43:37,500
-沙僧，跟我來
-[沙僧]哦
702
00:43:37,916 --> 00:43:39,291
[豬八戒]你回去
703
00:43:42,416 --> 00:43:46,833
[豬八戒笑]
♪吹個球，吹個大氣球♪
704
00:43:49,083 --> 00:43:50,458
東西掉了
705
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,791
[守衛痛苦呻吟]
師弟，收起他們
706
00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:54,916
為什麼要我收呀？
707
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,166
因為我本領比你高強一點嘛
708
00:43:57,250 --> 00:43:58,291
可惡
709
00:44:00,750 --> 00:44:02,291
你進來坐一會吧
710
00:44:06,375 --> 00:44:09,708
坦白說，我不是你的徒弟
711
00:44:09,791 --> 00:44:12,000
更加不想是你的徒弟
712
00:44:12,250 --> 00:44:13,541
大師，我知道你慈悲為懷
713
00:44:13,625 --> 00:44:15,875
你就放了我一馬吧，好嗎？
714
00:44:16,291 --> 00:44:19,958
你知不知道什麼是噹噹…
715
00:44:20,166 --> 00:44:21,333
什麼噹噹噹呀？
716
00:44:21,416 --> 00:44:25,625
噹…就是…
[浪漫音樂]
717
00:44:27,958 --> 00:44:31,833
♪[英語]只有你♪
718
00:44:32,208 --> 00:44:38,875
♪能伴我取西經♪
719
00:44:38,958 --> 00:44:44,000
♪[英語]只有你♪
720
00:44:44,083 --> 00:44:50,708
♪能殺妖精鬼怪♪
721
00:44:50,791 --> 00:44:53,250
♪[英語]只有你♪
722
00:44:53,458 --> 00:44:57,083
♪能保護我♪
723
00:44:57,166 --> 00:45:03,416
♪叫蚌精和蟹精無法吃我♪
724
00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:07,458
♪只有你這麼強♪
725
00:45:07,541 --> 00:45:12,625
♪就只你一個♪
726
00:45:16,875 --> 00:45:22,708
♪[英語]只有你♪
727
00:45:22,791 --> 00:45:27,666
♪莫怪師父嘀咕♪
728
00:45:29,708 --> 00:45:34,375
♪戴上“緊箍兒”♪
729
00:45:34,458 --> 00:45:40,458
♪莫怕死，別顫抖♪
730
00:45:41,083 --> 00:45:45,041
♪碰釘子別怕♪
731
00:45:45,125 --> 00:45:48,083
♪[英語]我明白♪
732
00:45:48,166 --> 00:45:53,875
♪要全力地去做♪
733
00:45:53,958 --> 00:45:58,250
♪害怕就一起害怕♪
734
00:45:58,333 --> 00:46:03,666
♪喃嘸阿彌陀佛♪
735
00:46:07,041 --> 00:46:09,291
-我真的不行呀，你不要再…
-喔…
736
00:46:09,375 --> 00:46:11,791
真是該死的
737
00:46:12,125 --> 00:46:13,375
我已經說不行了
738
00:46:13,458 --> 00:46:14,708
你還在喔喔…
739
00:46:14,791 --> 00:46:17,416
完全不理我有多難受
740
00:46:17,666 --> 00:46:20,125
你再煩我，我一刀捅死你
741
00:46:22,333 --> 00:46:25,458
[悲傷音樂]
悟空，你儘管捅死我吧
742
00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:28,958
生亦何哀，死亦何苦？
743
00:46:33,625 --> 00:46:35,916
等你明白了捨身取義
744
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,708
你自然會回來跟我唱這首歌的
745
00:46:38,875 --> 00:46:45,875
[多人齊聲]喃嘸阿彌陀佛…
746
00:46:48,083 --> 00:46:50,041
[至尊寶]什麼？紫霞
[緊張音樂]
747
00:46:55,875 --> 00:46:57,500
[豬八戒]
師兄，你怎麼帶個女人走呀？
748
00:46:57,583 --> 00:46:58,458
[至尊寶]師父已經走了
749
00:46:58,541 --> 00:47:00,666
[至尊寶]他叫你們
在三百里外大樹林等他，你們快去
750
00:47:00,750 --> 00:47:01,583
等等
751
00:47:03,666 --> 00:47:04,500
前面有埋伏
752
00:47:04,583 --> 00:47:07,375
[豬八戒]
一眼就看出來啦，還聽什麼聽？
753
00:47:08,208 --> 00:47:09,291
真是個蠢材
754
00:47:09,375 --> 00:47:10,750
-抱著
-哦
755
00:47:12,166 --> 00:47:14,041
香香，妳怎麼會在這裡？
[懸疑音樂]
756
00:47:14,791 --> 00:47:17,083
嘩，妳的手怎麼那麼多血呀？
757
00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:18,916
這些血…
758
00:47:19,958 --> 00:47:21,291
是你抱著的女人的
759
00:47:21,500 --> 00:47:22,375
是她的？
760
00:47:23,083 --> 00:47:25,708
沒錯，是她的
761
00:47:25,958 --> 00:47:28,750
今天晚上
我趁她睡著的時候捅了她幾刀
762
00:47:30,583 --> 00:47:32,541
這個女人一天不死
763
00:47:33,083 --> 00:47:34,833
你就不會回到我身邊的
764
00:47:36,041 --> 00:47:37,458
唉，真是的
765
00:47:37,958 --> 00:47:39,458
這種事怎麼能勉強呢？
766
00:47:39,541 --> 00:47:40,791
天意怎樣就是怎樣嘛
767
00:47:40,875 --> 00:47:42,208
-[至尊寶]你們說對不對？
-[豬八戒和沙僧齊聲]對…
768
00:47:42,916 --> 00:47:44,000
廢話
769
00:47:44,458 --> 00:47:46,625
如果上天要你喜歡豬八戒
770
00:47:46,708 --> 00:47:48,041
你會不會喜歡他？
771
00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:51,166
如果上天真的這麼安排
772
00:47:51,250 --> 00:47:52,625
-那我也沒有辦法
-對
773
00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:55,041
好
774
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,000
不用等上天安排
775
00:47:59,750 --> 00:48:00,625
[至尊寶]嘩！你想幹什麼？
776
00:48:09,333 --> 00:48:10,750
哎呀，走…
777
00:48:11,958 --> 00:48:13,875
移形換影大法
778
00:48:20,875 --> 00:48:22,708
我要把你跟石頭調換
779
00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:24,041
放開我啊
780
00:48:27,208 --> 00:48:28,416
抓妳的胸部
781
00:48:34,416 --> 00:48:35,625
[輕柔音樂]
782
00:49:00,958 --> 00:49:02,833
紫霞…
783
00:49:03,291 --> 00:49:04,541
[至尊寶]妳醒醒
784
00:49:06,083 --> 00:49:08,708
[豬八戒]
大師兄，你幹嘛抱著我啊？
785
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,791
咦…啊
786
00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:12,166
豬八戒？
787
00:49:12,416 --> 00:49:13,250
[豬八戒]是呀
788
00:49:13,833 --> 00:49:14,666
那紫霞呢？
789
00:49:14,750 --> 00:49:15,666
[青霞]秦祥林
790
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:21,625
-青霞？
-嗯
791
00:49:22,291 --> 00:49:25,041
嘩，這個玩笑開大了吧？
792
00:49:25,166 --> 00:49:28,625
[豬八戒]哎呀，完了…
嘩，連我也中招了
793
00:49:28,708 --> 00:49:30,958
[豬八戒]現在我兩塊胸肌
都垂到肚臍上了
794
00:49:33,291 --> 00:49:34,833
[青霞]你不會嫌棄我吧？
795
00:49:35,541 --> 00:49:37,208
倒是不會
796
00:49:37,958 --> 00:49:39,666
[嘔吐]
797
00:49:41,083 --> 00:49:42,083
[青霞]你明明就是嫌棄我
798
00:49:42,166 --> 00:49:43,416
[青霞]好，一拍兩散吧
799
00:49:43,500 --> 00:49:46,083
哎…妳給我多一點時間
800
00:49:46,166 --> 00:49:50,166
我吐著吐著就會習慣了
[嘔吐]
801
00:49:50,750 --> 00:49:51,958
[青霞]好，我相信你
802
00:49:52,041 --> 00:49:53,333
[青霞]我給你一點時間
803
00:49:53,416 --> 00:49:55,291
[青霞]你現在慢慢習慣吧
804
00:49:55,833 --> 00:49:58,708
-好，我可以了
-[青霞]來吧
[嘔吐]
805
00:49:59,541 --> 00:50:01,666
[豬八戒]別再說了，連我都想吐了
806
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:04,541
[青霞]都怪你長得那麼醜
807
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,708
[青霞]要不然的話
他會吐成這樣子嗎？
808
00:50:15,916 --> 00:50:16,875
[青霞]他那麼為我著想
809
00:50:16,958 --> 00:50:18,083
[青霞]我決定嫁給他
810
00:50:18,166 --> 00:50:19,750
[青霞]我要給他一個溫暖的家庭
811
00:50:19,833 --> 00:50:21,958
[青霞]為他生很多很多小孩子
812
00:50:23,666 --> 00:50:24,791
[青霞]祥林
813
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,583
[沙僧]我要殺死妳
[香香慘叫]
814
00:50:31,666 --> 00:50:32,958
-[豬八戒]師弟
-[沙僧]殺死妳
815
00:50:33,041 --> 00:50:36,625
[豬八戒]師弟…連你也中招了？
816
00:50:37,916 --> 00:50:39,250
-[沙僧]妳快給我換過來
-[豬八戒]哎…
817
00:50:39,333 --> 00:50:40,250
[豬八戒]別吵
818
00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:43,083
[豬八戒]聽我說，我不為難妳
819
00:50:43,166 --> 00:50:45,208
[豬八戒]妳趕快發功，把我們換回來
820
00:50:45,291 --> 00:50:46,208
[香香]你以為我不想嗎？
821
00:50:46,291 --> 00:50:47,833
[香香]發一次功要等七七四十九日
822
00:50:47,916 --> 00:50:48,916
-[豬八戒]什麼？
-[香香]才能發第二次
823
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:50,875
[豬八戒]七七四十九日？我打妳…
824
00:50:51,208 --> 00:50:54,250
[青霞]祥林，你面對現實吧
825
00:50:57,041 --> 00:50:58,458
[沙僧]把肉身換給我
826
00:50:58,541 --> 00:51:00,750
[沙僧]快發功，少裝蒜
827
00:51:00,833 --> 00:51:03,416
[沙僧]快點…
[香香痛哭]
828
00:51:03,500 --> 00:51:04,958
[紫霞]誰在我裡面啊？
829
00:51:05,041 --> 00:51:06,458
[豬八戒]什麼在妳裡面？
我也不知道我自己在哪
830
00:51:06,541 --> 00:51:08,000
-[沙僧]什麼？兩個聲音？
-[紫霞]你是誰？
831
00:51:08,458 --> 00:51:10,083
[豬八戒]我是豬八戒啊，妳呢？
832
00:51:10,166 --> 00:51:11,416
-[紫霞]我是紫霞
-[豬八戒]什麼？
833
00:51:13,666 --> 00:51:14,875
[青霞]祥林
834
00:51:15,625 --> 00:51:16,458
[紫霞]至尊寶
835
00:51:16,541 --> 00:51:17,583
[沙僧]師兄
836
00:51:20,250 --> 00:51:22,625
-紫霞
-嗯
837
00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:24,750
紫霞，妳還在這裡？
838
00:51:24,833 --> 00:51:26,125
[青霞]哼，妳這個賤人
839
00:51:27,333 --> 00:51:29,750
啊…終於被我看到妳了
840
00:51:29,833 --> 00:51:30,666
妳怎麼啦？
841
00:51:30,750 --> 00:51:32,500
沒見這麼久，怎麼變成這個樣子啊？
842
00:51:33,208 --> 00:51:34,500
月光寶盒呢？
843
00:51:35,041 --> 00:51:36,958
-忘了拿啦
-什麼？
844
00:51:38,166 --> 00:51:39,125
騙你的
845
00:51:41,250 --> 00:51:42,250
-拿來
-[青霞]等等
846
00:51:42,333 --> 00:51:43,750
[青霞]你拿月光寶盒幹什麼？
847
00:51:43,833 --> 00:51:46,416
[紫霞]跟我遠走高飛呀
妳不要纏著他，肥婆
848
00:51:48,166 --> 00:51:51,208
[青霞]祥林會跟妳遠走高…是牛魔王
849
00:51:54,708 --> 00:51:56,458
[青霞]妳少在那做白日夢
850
00:51:57,041 --> 00:51:58,500
[紫霞]妳不信啊，妳問問他
851
00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:01,458
[青霞]你說喜歡我
852
00:52:01,541 --> 00:52:03,083
[青霞]就是為了拿這個跟她遠走高飛
是不是？
853
00:52:03,166 --> 00:52:04,375
不是…
854
00:52:04,791 --> 00:52:07,875
完全沒這回事
[作嘔聲]
855
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,000
不信妳扔掉這個爛東西吧
856
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,791
-[青霞]好
-哎
857
00:52:11,875 --> 00:52:14,208
-做人有時不用那麼衝動
-[青霞]哈
858
00:52:14,291 --> 00:52:16,500
[青霞]你看你那副賤相
你還說不是？
859
00:52:16,583 --> 00:52:17,916
[青霞]我就扔掉它
860
00:52:19,166 --> 00:52:20,291
[緊張音樂]
861
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,250
[牛魔王大笑]
862
00:52:28,333 --> 00:52:30,125
-[香香]哥哥，哎呀
-[沙僧]走開
863
00:52:31,375 --> 00:52:32,541
[香香]好有男子氣概
864
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:33,708
[沙僧]閉嘴
865
00:52:35,125 --> 00:52:36,583
[香香]我很喜歡
866
00:52:37,166 --> 00:52:39,375
這次看你們能到哪兒去
867
00:52:40,458 --> 00:52:43,125
嘩，牛兄，你怎麼傷成這樣？
868
00:52:43,666 --> 00:52:46,500
你以為那壞女人比我傷得輕嗎？
869
00:52:46,583 --> 00:52:47,708
你看看
870
00:52:48,541 --> 00:52:49,625
你騙得我好慘啊
871
00:52:50,375 --> 00:52:53,625
-喂，其實我根本就不是…
-[青霞]祥林，她是誰呀？
872
00:52:54,333 --> 00:52:55,750
我相信你才怪
873
00:52:55,875 --> 00:52:57,666
混蛋，我現在正式跟你離婚
874
00:52:57,750 --> 00:52:58,666
以後誰也別管誰
875
00:52:59,166 --> 00:53:01,375
好，妳抓妳的，我抓我的
876
00:53:03,625 --> 00:53:05,166
快點救紫霞，肉身妳也有份的
877
00:53:24,958 --> 00:53:26,875
打得血肉模糊的，拿回來也沒用啦
878
00:53:26,958 --> 00:53:27,791
[青霞]也對，哼
879
00:53:30,458 --> 00:53:31,916
想跑？
880
00:53:32,916 --> 00:53:34,375
今天不說清楚就不能走
881
00:53:34,833 --> 00:53:36,541
[青霞]不准打她
882
00:53:37,541 --> 00:53:38,416
[紫霞]喂，死肥婆
883
00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:39,708
[紫霞]我跟他的事用不著妳幫忙
884
00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:43,041
[青霞]妳省省吧
我是怕他弄花我完美的身體
885
00:53:45,708 --> 00:53:46,958
[青霞]鬼才有空幫妳
886
00:53:47,041 --> 00:53:48,458
[紫霞]哎呀，打就打
那麼多廢話幹嘛？
887
00:53:48,541 --> 00:53:50,083
[紫霞]當心我幫他一起打妳呀
888
00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:52,375
[青霞]妳試試看
889
00:53:52,458 --> 00:53:55,708
[青霞]我是女人
用得著那麼用力嗎？我跟你拚了
890
00:53:56,708 --> 00:53:57,625
[青霞]哎呀，啊
891
00:54:03,333 --> 00:54:04,333
哼
892
00:54:04,416 --> 00:54:06,083
[紫霞]我就不幫忙，看你們打多久
893
00:54:06,166 --> 00:54:07,416
-[至尊寶]快走
-[紫霞]不行
894
00:54:07,583 --> 00:54:09,166
[紫霞]我一定要幫你
把月光寶盒拿回來
895
00:54:09,250 --> 00:54:11,000
[紫霞]好讓你回去跟你娘子有個交待
896
00:54:11,083 --> 00:54:13,041
嘩，妳這個人真棒，沒話說
897
00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:15,291
-[紫霞]真的？
-妳這樣，還有什麼話說？
898
00:54:22,625 --> 00:54:23,500
-[紫霞]喂
-等等
899
00:54:34,416 --> 00:54:35,625
你…
900
00:54:36,416 --> 00:54:38,083
臭婆娘，別打我馬子
901
00:54:38,458 --> 00:54:39,750
我喜歡
902
00:54:41,583 --> 00:54:43,583
-妳的小白臉跑了
-啊？
903
00:54:45,416 --> 00:54:46,625
[紫霞]跑都跑得那麼帥
904
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,083
[紫霞]我真幸福
905
00:54:56,583 --> 00:54:58,666
沒辦法，假裝跳崖吧
906
00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:03,708
[至尊寶]擺近一點比較像
907
00:55:08,083 --> 00:55:09,166
孫悟空
908
00:55:09,250 --> 00:55:11,041
-別跳崖啊
-嗯？
909
00:55:12,083 --> 00:55:14,250
啊…我也不想跳
910
00:55:14,333 --> 00:55:16,458
[鐵扇公主心聲]
你寧願跳懸崖也不肯見我
911
00:55:16,916 --> 00:55:19,083
算了，我還是回火燄山
912
00:55:24,458 --> 00:55:26,166
早知道要充軍的話
913
00:55:26,250 --> 00:55:28,291
我們就不做這件案子啦
914
00:55:28,833 --> 00:55:32,208
誰知道偷葡萄會那麼大罪要充軍呢？
915
00:55:32,291 --> 00:55:35,291
唉，早知道這樣就去偷別的
916
00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:36,416
早知道就別做賊
917
00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:37,583
像我這樣當兵
918
00:55:37,666 --> 00:55:39,125
你們沒有機會了
919
00:55:39,208 --> 00:55:41,291
[官兵]除非神仙來救你們
[至尊寶大叫聲]
920
00:55:51,750 --> 00:55:53,208
早知道不當兵
[輕快音樂]
921
00:56:00,916 --> 00:56:02,291
真有神仙來救了
922
00:56:02,750 --> 00:56:04,250
[菩提老祖]神仙啊
923
00:56:07,500 --> 00:56:09,083
晶晶
[悲傷音樂]
924
00:56:20,166 --> 00:56:21,125
[男子]菩提大哥啊
925
00:56:21,208 --> 00:56:22,333
[男子]到底他想蒸什麼？
926
00:56:22,750 --> 00:56:24,208
你別多事啦
927
00:56:24,541 --> 00:56:25,583
[至尊寶]晶晶
928
00:56:28,500 --> 00:56:31,166
[狼嚎]
[香香驚恐]
929
00:56:32,333 --> 00:56:35,041
[沙僧]哎，妳別再吃我豆腐
930
00:56:35,125 --> 00:56:37,541
[香香]人家喜歡你才吃你豆腐嘛
931
00:56:38,166 --> 00:56:40,833
[沙僧]聽著，要做我的女人
932
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,750
[沙僧]以後就別像妳哥那樣
為非作歹
933
00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,375
[香香]哦，知道了
934
00:56:45,458 --> 00:56:46,500
[沙僧]走吧
935
00:56:46,916 --> 00:56:47,958
喝茶
936
00:56:48,166 --> 00:56:49,750
[至尊寶]麻煩你了
937
00:56:49,916 --> 00:56:51,541
不要客氣
938
00:56:54,750 --> 00:56:56,791
唉，為什麼帶我回這個洞來？
939
00:56:56,875 --> 00:56:58,250
不是我帶你來的
940
00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:01,250
是你昏倒後，迷迷糊糊地帶我們來的
941
00:57:03,791 --> 00:57:05,583
我一定是太想念晶晶了
942
00:57:05,750 --> 00:57:07,333
是啊，你昏倒的時候
943
00:57:07,416 --> 00:57:09,916
叫晶晶這個名字叫了98次
944
00:57:13,416 --> 00:57:14,750
晶晶是我娘子
945
00:57:14,833 --> 00:57:16,708
還有一個名字，叫紫霞的
946
00:57:16,791 --> 00:57:18,875
-你叫了784次
-喂
947
00:57:20,625 --> 00:57:22,000
784次
948
00:57:22,083 --> 00:57:24,458
這紫霞一定欠你很多錢
949
00:57:25,708 --> 00:57:27,750
[女聲]我要拜盤絲大仙為師
950
00:57:27,833 --> 00:57:29,791
-[女子]她分明把水簾洞改為盤絲洞
-我不知道
951
00:57:29,875 --> 00:57:31,666
[女子]你們竟敢騙我說沒這個人？
952
00:57:34,041 --> 00:57:36,583
死猴子？原來你還在這兒
953
00:57:36,750 --> 00:57:38,333
你為什麼這樣對我？
[悲傷音樂]
954
00:57:39,583 --> 00:57:40,916
晶晶
955
00:57:46,208 --> 00:57:48,416
晶晶，再看到妳太好了
956
00:57:48,541 --> 00:57:49,875
[晶晶]什麼？
957
00:57:51,125 --> 00:57:51,958
妳瘦了
958
00:57:52,541 --> 00:57:53,458
什麼？
959
00:57:54,208 --> 00:57:55,625
我不是孫悟空呀
960
00:57:56,166 --> 00:57:58,583
但是我不知道怎麼告訴妳
因為妳一定不會相信我
961
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:00,708
-我相信
-什麼？
962
00:58:01,083 --> 00:58:03,166
那個臭猴子不會對我這麼溫柔
963
00:58:03,791 --> 00:58:04,750
你是誰？
964
00:58:06,958 --> 00:58:08,250
我就是妳五百年後的相公
965
00:58:08,333 --> 00:58:10,500
五百年後
妳會因為我而放棄現在這段感情
966
00:58:10,583 --> 00:58:13,125
我千辛萬苦回這裡和做的所有事情
完全都是為了妳
967
00:58:13,208 --> 00:58:15,458
晶晶，我很想念妳，我真的很想念妳
968
00:58:15,541 --> 00:58:17,333
我太想念妳了
969
00:58:18,083 --> 00:58:20,083
-妳相不相信？
-不相信
970
00:58:20,541 --> 00:58:21,583
這也不能怪妳，讓我再想想
971
00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:22,750
-怎樣跟妳說
-不過我覺得我認識你
972
00:58:24,625 --> 00:58:25,833
絕對認識
973
00:58:26,458 --> 00:58:27,583
而且很熟
974
00:58:28,041 --> 00:58:29,541
非常熟
975
00:58:30,083 --> 00:58:32,208
-五百年之後？
-是
976
00:58:32,291 --> 00:58:34,083
我們怎麼認識的？
977
00:58:35,541 --> 00:58:37,208
在一個月黑風高、陰森恐怖的晚上
[輕快音樂]
978
00:58:37,291 --> 00:58:38,208
我是至尊寶，妳是白晶晶
979
00:58:38,583 --> 00:58:39,791
[至尊寶]奇妙的愛情
980
00:58:39,875 --> 00:58:42,041
[至尊寶]就從橋頭上的
這一點火而開始
981
00:58:42,666 --> 00:58:44,208
我才一轉過身
妳就突如奇來向我一指
982
00:58:44,291 --> 00:58:47,416
我的整隻手就著火了
妳還要衝過來向我打
983
00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:48,791
拚命地打…
984
00:58:48,875 --> 00:58:50,916
不…不是這樣打，是這樣，打…
985
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,791
對啦，就是這樣打，妳看到了嗎？
986
00:58:54,458 --> 00:58:56,958
[至尊寶]以後的發展
我可以大膽用一句峰迴路轉來形容
987
00:58:57,125 --> 00:58:59,208
[至尊寶]因為突然之間
殺出一個牛魔王
988
00:58:59,500 --> 00:59:02,041
當時妳手拿一條尾龍骨
大戰牛魔王之後
989
00:59:02,125 --> 00:59:04,250
還把我抓到盤絲洞裡去
990
00:59:06,166 --> 00:59:07,875
[至尊寶]所謂光陰似箭
真的一點也不錯
991
00:59:07,958 --> 00:59:09,625
[至尊寶]因為才一轉眼就說到重點了
992
00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:12,750
在斷崖頂上，就是感情爆發的時候
993
00:59:12,833 --> 00:59:14,333
當時我不顧一切地摸妳
994
00:59:14,458 --> 00:59:16,125
妳也不顧一切地摸我
995
00:59:16,208 --> 00:59:18,416
還立下永不分離的約誓
996
00:59:21,916 --> 00:59:23,791
[至尊寶]但是快樂永遠都是短暫的
997
00:59:23,875 --> 00:59:26,333
[至尊寶]換來的
只是無窮無盡的痛苦和唏噓
998
00:59:27,291 --> 00:59:29,208
為什麼妳會死了？
999
00:59:29,291 --> 00:59:31,791
我當時只能利用月光寶盒使時光倒流
1000
00:59:31,875 --> 00:59:32,791
查出真相
1001
00:59:32,875 --> 00:59:35,458
終於被我發現原來妳是自殺的
1002
00:59:36,458 --> 00:59:37,875
在最後關頭
1003
00:59:38,500 --> 00:59:40,166
我終於能夠把妳救活
1004
00:59:40,250 --> 00:59:41,083
[菩提老祖慘叫]
1005
00:59:42,375 --> 00:59:43,583
但是在最後一次時光倒流
1006
00:59:43,666 --> 00:59:44,666
月光寶盒發生故障
1007
00:59:44,750 --> 00:59:47,916
-我“超”的一聲回到五百年前
-[男子]菩提大哥…
1008
00:59:49,166 --> 00:59:50,500
就這樣
1009
00:59:53,916 --> 00:59:55,458
你現在想怎麼樣？
1010
00:59:56,041 --> 00:59:58,000
再看到妳，我不用再回去了
1011
00:59:58,166 --> 00:59:59,500
我們成親
1012
01:00:01,375 --> 01:00:04,291
我…剛剛睡醒不久
1013
01:00:04,375 --> 01:00:06,333
經過外面無所事事
1014
01:00:06,416 --> 01:00:08,541
打算順便進來拜師學藝而已
1015
01:00:08,625 --> 01:00:11,000
你突然跟我提到成親這件大事
1016
01:00:11,333 --> 01:00:13,625
我…牙齒還沒有刷呢
1017
01:00:15,250 --> 01:00:16,916
我知道其實妳心裡面還有懷疑
1018
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,583
如果我可以把心掏出來給妳看
1019
01:00:18,666 --> 01:00:20,291
妳就會知道我沒有說謊
1020
01:00:21,708 --> 01:00:22,625
很容易呀
1021
01:00:26,041 --> 01:00:27,958
-咦？你怎麼那麼像…
-[良心]椰青嗎？
1022
01:00:28,041 --> 01:00:29,541
[良心]以前有個女孩子也這麼說過
1023
01:00:29,750 --> 01:00:30,833
那麼椰青啊椰青
1024
01:00:30,916 --> 01:00:32,625
他剛才說的話是不是真的？
1025
01:00:33,750 --> 01:00:34,666
不用想了，照舊
1026
01:00:34,750 --> 01:00:36,125
-你搜下面
-哦
1027
01:00:38,625 --> 01:00:40,333
謝謝你了，椰青
1028
01:00:41,916 --> 01:00:45,125
啊…即是說他最愛的人就是我嗎？
1029
01:00:48,083 --> 01:00:49,750
[牛魔王]哼，妳回來這麼久
1030
01:00:49,833 --> 01:00:51,666
[牛魔王]一天到晚
跟我討著要月光寶盒
1031
01:00:52,041 --> 01:00:53,083
[牛魔王]什麼意思啊？
1032
01:00:53,166 --> 01:00:54,666
[牛魔王]我問妳哪天跟我成親
1033
01:00:54,750 --> 01:00:56,041
妳卻一直推三推四
1034
01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:57,291
[牛魔王]妳到底嫁不嫁給我？
1035
01:00:57,750 --> 01:00:59,416
-[紫霞，國語]我嫁
-嗯？
1036
01:01:01,750 --> 01:01:03,000
[青霞冷笑]
1037
01:01:04,083 --> 01:01:05,666
喂，妳妹妹是不是瘋了？
1038
01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:07,208
整個晚上都講國語
1039
01:01:07,708 --> 01:01:09,125
[青霞]她不是瘋了，她是神經病
1040
01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:13,125
神經病也行，只要她答應就行
七天後成親
1041
01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:16,416
[青霞]妳真的決定嫁給他了？
1042
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,125
[紫霞，國語]我騙他嘛
1043
01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:20,375
[紫霞]我在等我的男人回來接我
1044
01:01:21,875 --> 01:01:24,333
[青霞]妳居然會相信
那個小猾頭會回來接妳
1045
01:01:24,416 --> 01:01:25,791
[青霞]要是真的話，我可得恭喜妳啦
1046
01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:27,833
[青霞]不過就算他回來
1047
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:29,166
[青霞]又能憑什麼本事
1048
01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:30,750
[青霞]把妳從牛魔王手上搶回去？
1049
01:01:31,375 --> 01:01:35,166
[紫霞]上天既然安排他
能拔出我的紫青寶劍
1050
01:01:35,375 --> 01:01:37,708
[紫霞]他必定是一個非凡的人
1051
01:01:38,416 --> 01:01:39,791
[紫霞]錯不了
[輕柔音樂]
1052
01:01:39,875 --> 01:01:41,041
[紫霞]我知道終有一天
1053
01:01:41,125 --> 01:01:43,791
[紫霞]他會在一個
萬眾矚目的情形下出現
1054
01:01:43,875 --> 01:01:45,500
[紫霞]身披金甲聖衣
1055
01:01:45,583 --> 01:01:48,166
[紫霞]腳踏七色彩雲來迎娶我
1056
01:01:49,333 --> 01:01:50,625
[青霞]還不承認是神經病
1057
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:54,416
[紫霞]這不是神經病，是理想
1058
01:01:56,791 --> 01:01:57,875
[豬八戒]承認吧，瘋女人
1059
01:01:57,958 --> 01:01:58,958
[紫霞]不承認
1060
01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:20,375
兄弟，世事難料
1061
01:02:20,458 --> 01:02:22,416
沒想到你這麼快跟白姑娘成親
1062
01:02:22,500 --> 01:02:23,708
我自己也沒想到
1063
01:02:23,791 --> 01:02:25,500
我們都為你高興
1064
01:02:26,250 --> 01:02:27,625
謝謝你
1065
01:02:29,958 --> 01:02:30,875
昨晚你做夢
1066
01:02:30,958 --> 01:02:33,666
又叫了紫霞的名字785次
1067
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:35,541
比上次多了一次
1068
01:02:40,875 --> 01:02:41,708
[悲傷音樂]
1069
01:02:59,250 --> 01:03:02,125
[青霞]過了六天了
明天晚上妳就出嫁了
1070
01:03:03,916 --> 01:03:05,500
[青霞]哼，他會來？
1071
01:03:28,625 --> 01:03:30,625
[紫霞]昨天晚上我托一隻蜘蛛跟你說
1072
01:03:30,708 --> 01:03:32,791
[紫霞]叫牠告訴你，我很想念你
1073
01:03:33,083 --> 01:03:33,916
[紫霞]你知不知道呀？
1074
01:03:35,875 --> 01:03:37,291
妳又知不知道？
1075
01:03:38,833 --> 01:03:40,166
我一直在騙妳
1076
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:43,166
[紫霞]騙就騙吧
1077
01:03:43,250 --> 01:03:44,333
[紫霞]就像飛蛾一樣
1078
01:03:44,416 --> 01:03:46,583
[紫霞]明知道會受傷還是飛撲到火上
1079
01:03:49,958 --> 01:03:51,291
[紫霞]飛蛾就是那麼傻
1080
01:03:58,791 --> 01:04:00,250
出來吧，葡萄
1081
01:04:01,958 --> 01:04:03,666
我不是想監視你
1082
01:04:03,750 --> 01:04:05,458
我只不過想研究一下
1083
01:04:05,541 --> 01:04:08,875
人與人之間的一些微妙感情
1084
01:04:09,458 --> 01:04:10,875
你只是強盜啊，大哥
1085
01:04:10,958 --> 01:04:12,375
別學人家研究學問
1086
01:04:12,458 --> 01:04:14,333
強盜也會好學
1087
01:04:14,916 --> 01:04:16,583
省省吧，睡啦
1088
01:04:16,666 --> 01:04:19,166
紫霞在你心目中是不是一個感嘆號？
1089
01:04:19,250 --> 01:04:20,791
還是一個句號？
1090
01:04:20,875 --> 01:04:23,541
你腦袋裡是不是充滿了問號呢？
1091
01:04:24,041 --> 01:04:25,833
紫霞只不過是一個我認識的人
1092
01:04:25,916 --> 01:04:27,166
我以前說過一個謊話騙她
1093
01:04:27,250 --> 01:04:29,708
我現在只不過心裡面有一點內疚而已
1094
01:04:30,208 --> 01:04:31,916
我越來越討厭她
1095
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,583
我明天就要結婚了，你想怎麼樣呀？
1096
01:04:34,666 --> 01:04:35,875
有一天當你發覺
1097
01:04:35,958 --> 01:04:37,708
你愛上一個你討厭的人
1098
01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:40,416
這段感情才是最要命的
1099
01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:43,291
可是我怎麼會愛上一個
我討厭的人呢？
1100
01:04:43,791 --> 01:04:46,250
請你給我個理由，拜託
1101
01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:48,416
愛一個人需要理由嗎？
1102
01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:49,958
-不需要嗎？
-需要嗎？
1103
01:04:50,041 --> 01:04:51,541
-不需要嗎？
-需要嗎？
1104
01:04:51,625 --> 01:04:52,458
不需要嗎？
1105
01:04:52,541 --> 01:04:54,041
哎…我來跟你研究嘛
1106
01:04:54,125 --> 01:04:57,458
幹嘛這麼認真呢？需要嗎？
1107
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:06,166
[奇妙音效]
1108
01:05:39,625 --> 01:05:40,958
誰？
1109
01:05:46,791 --> 01:05:52,125
[喜慶音樂]
1110
01:05:52,791 --> 01:05:55,500
[主禮人]時辰到
[群眾吶喊]
1111
01:06:02,416 --> 01:06:07,791
[牛魔王大笑]
1112
01:06:13,625 --> 01:06:15,500
你有多少兄弟姐妹？
1113
01:06:15,583 --> 01:06:17,125
你父母尚在嗎？
1114
01:06:17,208 --> 01:06:18,958
你說句話啊
1115
01:06:19,041 --> 01:06:20,500
我不過想在臨死之前
1116
01:06:20,583 --> 01:06:22,208
多交一個朋友而已嘛
1117
01:06:24,166 --> 01:06:26,541
[沙僧]糟了，怎麼上去救師父？
1118
01:06:26,708 --> 01:06:30,125
所以說做妖就像做人一樣
1119
01:06:30,208 --> 01:06:31,958
要有仁慈的心
1120
01:06:32,041 --> 01:06:33,583
有了仁慈的心
1121
01:06:33,666 --> 01:06:36,791
就不再是妖，是仁妖
1122
01:06:37,750 --> 01:06:39,750
看，他明白了
1123
01:06:39,875 --> 01:06:40,833
你明白了沒有？
1124
01:06:44,916 --> 01:06:46,250
[青霞]沒有人會來接妳的
1125
01:06:46,333 --> 01:06:47,916
[青霞]妳醒醒吧，笨女人，哼
1126
01:06:55,750 --> 01:06:57,666
大哥，你有封信
1127
01:07:04,625 --> 01:07:06,458
[晶晶心聲]你的良心告訴我
1128
01:07:06,541 --> 01:07:08,458
[晶晶心聲]你最愛的不是我
1129
01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:10,375
[晶晶心聲]而是另外一個女人
[悲傷音樂]
1130
01:07:10,875 --> 01:07:14,500
[晶晶心聲]當我見到她在你良心
留下的東西之後
1131
01:07:14,708 --> 01:07:17,125
[晶晶心聲]我覺得，你經過五百年
1132
01:07:17,208 --> 01:07:21,416
[晶晶心聲]回來要找的不是我
而是她
1133
01:07:21,750 --> 01:07:25,166
[晶晶心聲]你我都要相信這是天意
1134
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,666
[晶晶心聲]也是傳說中的緣分
1135
01:07:33,583 --> 01:07:34,416
[至尊寶]晶晶走了
1136
01:07:34,500 --> 01:07:36,541
我知道，信我看過了
1137
01:07:36,833 --> 01:07:37,750
[兩名男子齊聲]菩提大哥
1138
01:07:37,833 --> 01:07:39,125
她怎麼啦？
1139
01:07:42,791 --> 01:07:43,708
你們看過這封信了嗎？
1140
01:07:43,791 --> 01:07:44,833
[兩名男子齊聲]沒有呀
1141
01:07:44,916 --> 01:07:46,250
快看啊
1142
01:07:48,375 --> 01:07:49,458
[女子聲]說
[緊張音樂]
1143
01:07:58,458 --> 01:08:00,375
我知道我師妹白晶晶來過這裡
1144
01:08:00,458 --> 01:08:01,708
她在哪裡？
1145
01:08:01,791 --> 01:08:03,083
[男子]不知道
1146
01:08:03,583 --> 01:08:05,000
有那麼大仇嗎？
1147
01:08:05,291 --> 01:08:07,250
這麼多年了，妳還不肯放過妳師妹
1148
01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:10,791
咦？新郎哥，你講得好像很了解
1149
01:08:10,875 --> 01:08:12,458
不如由你告訴我
1150
01:08:13,625 --> 01:08:14,833
我不知道她在哪裡
1151
01:08:14,916 --> 01:08:16,333
不知道？
1152
01:08:16,541 --> 01:08:18,416
聽你說的話，看來你心腸不錯呀
1153
01:08:18,500 --> 01:08:19,500
那些是你朋友？
1154
01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:23,333
不要啊，喂
[男子慘叫]
1155
01:08:24,958 --> 01:08:28,583
[男子慘叫]
[至尊寶嘆氣]
1156
01:08:29,875 --> 01:08:30,708
你知道嗎？
1157
01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:39,083
如果妳一定要殺人的話，就殺我吧
1158
01:08:39,291 --> 01:08:40,958
他們不認識妳師妹的
1159
01:08:41,041 --> 01:08:42,416
他們全是無辜的
1160
01:08:43,041 --> 01:08:44,250
我同…
1161
01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:50,833
我向來佩服不怕死的人
1162
01:08:53,583 --> 01:08:54,708
既然你是這樣
1163
01:08:54,791 --> 01:08:56,083
那我成全你
1164
01:08:58,500 --> 01:08:59,333
等等
1165
01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:03,125
我還以為你真的那麼勇敢呢
1166
01:09:04,458 --> 01:09:06,333
反正我要死了，妳就幫個忙
1167
01:09:06,666 --> 01:09:09,125
我聽說過如果刀子出得快，部位準
1168
01:09:09,208 --> 01:09:11,583
把人破開之後，人不會馬上死掉
1169
01:09:11,666 --> 01:09:13,208
眼睛還看得見
1170
01:09:13,291 --> 01:09:14,791
妳就幫個忙，出手快一點
1171
01:09:14,875 --> 01:09:17,333
把我的心挖出來
讓我自己看，行不行？
1172
01:09:18,166 --> 01:09:19,500
什麼？
1173
01:09:21,291 --> 01:09:24,000
我有個朋友說
留了東西在我的心裡面
1174
01:09:25,416 --> 01:09:26,791
我很想看看到底是什麼？
1175
01:09:34,041 --> 01:09:40,083
[緊張音樂]
1176
01:09:56,916 --> 01:09:58,500
莫名其妙
1177
01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:01,791
你嚇我？
1178
01:10:02,750 --> 01:10:05,583
[喜慶音樂]
[群眾吶喊]
1179
01:10:06,083 --> 01:10:08,375
人和妖精，都是媽生的
1180
01:10:08,458 --> 01:10:10,541
不過人是人他媽生的
1181
01:10:10,833 --> 01:10:12,791
妖是妖他媽生的
1182
01:10:13,416 --> 01:10:16,625
我受不了啦
1183
01:10:27,166 --> 01:10:28,500
你貴姓啊？
1184
01:10:30,583 --> 01:10:34,583
[主禮人]準備交拜天地
[牛魔王大笑]
1185
01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:37,666
-[牛魔王]美人，我們拜堂吧
-[紫霞]等等
1186
01:10:38,875 --> 01:10:39,708
看
1187
01:10:40,500 --> 01:10:43,208
現在是妹妹要救姐姐
1188
01:10:43,916 --> 01:10:47,750
等一會兒呢
那個姐姐一定會救妹妹的
1189
01:10:48,541 --> 01:10:49,708
妳又想幹嘛？
1190
01:10:50,375 --> 01:10:53,208
[紫霞]我們今晚都成親了
你先放了我姐姐
1191
01:10:53,541 --> 01:10:54,916
[紫霞]我一定會遵守諾言的
1192
01:11:12,791 --> 01:11:14,125
[紫霞]我不想再鬥了
1193
01:11:15,041 --> 01:11:16,250
[紫霞]妳走吧
1194
01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:18,583
[紫霞]我這一輩子就妳這麼一個姐姐
1195
01:11:26,291 --> 01:11:27,500
[紫霞]姐姐
1196
01:11:28,083 --> 01:11:28,916
[青霞]牛魔王
1197
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,500
[青霞]我不會讓我妹妹嫁給你的
1198
01:11:30,583 --> 01:11:31,875
[紫霞]姐姐
1199
01:11:31,958 --> 01:11:33,625
哼，妳說什麼？
1200
01:11:34,041 --> 01:11:35,833
[青霞]我這輩子也就妳這麼一個妹妹
1201
01:11:35,916 --> 01:11:36,750
[青霞]來吧
1202
01:11:37,166 --> 01:11:39,333
看，我說對了吧？
1203
01:11:42,750 --> 01:11:44,708
竟然比我還快
1204
01:11:44,791 --> 01:11:46,750
你真行
1205
01:11:59,875 --> 01:12:00,708
[沙僧]是時候了
1206
01:12:02,416 --> 01:12:04,833
[香香]好，來吧，移魂大法
1207
01:12:20,708 --> 01:12:22,458
-香香？
-[青霞]我不是你妹妹
1208
01:12:22,750 --> 01:12:23,875
香香，妳幹什麼？
1209
01:12:23,958 --> 01:12:25,583
[香香]哥哥，我在這裡
1210
01:12:26,125 --> 01:12:27,000
[香香]出事了
1211
01:12:27,416 --> 01:12:29,500
-香香
-[香香]我在狗的裡面
1212
01:12:29,875 --> 01:12:31,041
[齊聲]那妳是誰呀？
1213
01:12:31,416 --> 01:12:32,416
[青霞]我是青霞呀
1214
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:34,291
姐姐
1215
01:12:34,666 --> 01:12:37,500
-我殺了你們
-啊？先救師父
1216
01:12:54,791 --> 01:12:55,625
不要打我姐姐呀
1217
01:12:56,583 --> 01:12:58,625
小心呀
1218
01:13:04,208 --> 01:13:05,833
[守衛齊聲]不要動
1219
01:13:07,541 --> 01:13:08,750
把那個女的給我釘死
1220
01:13:08,833 --> 01:13:10,166
-不可以
-大王，那是香香小姐…
1221
01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:11,458
走開，她不是我妹妹
1222
01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:12,500
誰攔著我，我就殺了誰
1223
01:13:15,583 --> 01:13:16,875
觀音大士
[悲壯音樂]
1224
01:13:16,958 --> 01:13:18,833
我想我開始明白妳說的話了
1225
01:13:19,375 --> 01:13:21,375
以前我看事物，是用肉眼去看
1226
01:13:21,458 --> 01:13:23,000
但是在我死去的一剎那
1227
01:13:23,208 --> 01:13:24,916
我開始用心眼去看這個世界
1228
01:13:26,250 --> 01:13:27,791
[至尊寶]所有的事物
1229
01:13:27,916 --> 01:13:31,166
[至尊寶]真的可以看得
前所未有那麼清楚
1230
01:13:33,583 --> 01:13:35,291
原來那個女孩子
1231
01:13:35,750 --> 01:13:38,708
在我的心裡面留下了一滴眼淚
1232
01:13:39,125 --> 01:13:40,333
[至尊寶]我完全可以感受到
1233
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:42,125
[至尊寶]她當時是多麼的傷心
1234
01:13:42,708 --> 01:13:43,833
[觀音聲]塵世間的事
1235
01:13:43,916 --> 01:13:45,958
[觀音聲]你不再留戀了嗎？
1236
01:13:46,500 --> 01:13:47,458
沒關係了
1237
01:13:47,708 --> 01:13:50,208
生亦何哀，死亦何苦？
1238
01:13:50,291 --> 01:13:51,666
[菩提老祖]說得好，說得好
1239
01:13:54,083 --> 01:13:55,708
說得好，說得好
1240
01:13:55,791 --> 01:13:56,916
怎樣啊？老兄
1241
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:57,833
喂，坐吧
1242
01:13:57,916 --> 01:13:58,958
你坐吧
1243
01:13:59,041 --> 01:14:01,458
最不好的是連累了我這三位新相識
1244
01:14:01,541 --> 01:14:03,000
跟他們完全沒關係嘛
1245
01:14:03,083 --> 01:14:04,875
[三人齊聲]算了吧…
1246
01:14:04,958 --> 01:14:05,958
不過我真的不明白
1247
01:14:06,041 --> 01:14:09,375
恨一個人，可以十年，五十年
1248
01:14:09,458 --> 01:14:11,166
甚至五百年地恨下去
1249
01:14:11,250 --> 01:14:13,583
為什麼仇恨可以大到這種地步？
1250
01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:15,916
[觀音聲]所以唐三藏去取西經
1251
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:18,125
[觀音聲]他就是想藉著這本經書
1252
01:14:18,208 --> 01:14:20,541
[觀音聲]去化解人世間的仇恨
1253
01:14:20,625 --> 01:14:21,750
明白
1254
01:14:21,916 --> 01:14:23,791
我要留下來
因為還有事情等著我去做
1255
01:14:23,875 --> 01:14:25,666
你們自己快點趕去投胎吧
1256
01:14:25,750 --> 01:14:26,916
[三人齊聲]好
1257
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,291
這輩子我害你們被人砍了一刀
1258
01:14:29,375 --> 01:14:31,291
希望下輩子有機會可以還
1259
01:14:31,375 --> 01:14:32,500
要還就至少還三刀
1260
01:14:32,583 --> 01:14:34,541
怎麼都行，親愛的葡萄
1261
01:14:34,625 --> 01:14:37,041
好了，走吧，再見
1262
01:14:37,125 --> 01:14:38,625
-再見，不送了
-我們走啦
1263
01:14:40,250 --> 01:14:42,166
[觀音聲]我要再提醒你一次
1264
01:14:42,250 --> 01:14:43,958
[觀音聲]金剛圈箍戴上之後
1265
01:14:44,041 --> 01:14:45,875
[觀音聲]你再也不是個凡人
1266
01:14:45,958 --> 01:14:49,041
[觀音聲]人世間的情慾不能再沾半點
1267
01:14:49,125 --> 01:14:50,166
[觀音聲]如果動心
1268
01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:53,000
[觀音聲]這個金剛圈
就會在你頭上越收越緊
1269
01:14:53,083 --> 01:14:54,583
[觀音聲]苦不堪言
1270
01:14:55,750 --> 01:14:57,083
聽到
1271
01:14:57,750 --> 01:14:59,583
[觀音聲]在戴上金剛圈之前
1272
01:14:59,666 --> 01:15:01,500
[觀音聲]你還有什麼話想說？
1273
01:15:07,166 --> 01:15:09,791
曾經有一份真誠的愛情擺在我面前
[悲傷音樂]
1274
01:15:09,875 --> 01:15:11,375
但是我沒有珍惜
1275
01:15:11,833 --> 01:15:14,291
等到了失去的時候才後悔莫及
1276
01:15:15,791 --> 01:15:18,458
塵世間最痛苦的事莫過於此
1277
01:15:19,666 --> 01:15:21,375
[至尊寶]如果上天可以給我個機會
1278
01:15:21,458 --> 01:15:22,750
再來一次的話
1279
01:15:22,833 --> 01:15:25,250
我會跟那個女孩說我愛她
1280
01:15:26,208 --> 01:15:29,000
[至尊寶]如果非要把這份愛
加上一個期限
1281
01:15:29,583 --> 01:15:32,500
[至尊寶]我希望是…一萬年
1282
01:15:36,083 --> 01:15:37,416
叩頭
1283
01:15:38,166 --> 01:15:39,500
[主婚人]再叩首
1284
01:15:40,791 --> 01:15:43,916
[紫霞慘叫]
[牛魔王大笑]
1285
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:45,166
三叩首
1286
01:15:56,916 --> 01:15:58,666
拜過祖師爺，喝過合巹酒
1287
01:15:58,750 --> 01:16:00,958
妳就是我牛家的人了，哈…
1288
01:16:02,458 --> 01:16:04,333
[群眾吶喊]
1289
01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:16,541
[群眾]發生什麼事？怎會這樣？
1290
01:16:20,083 --> 01:16:25,583
[雷聲]
1291
01:16:27,208 --> 01:16:28,666
是彩雲
1292
01:16:29,458 --> 01:16:31,666
嘻，好像棉花糖呀
1293
01:16:33,708 --> 01:16:35,000
[青霞]難道真的是他？
1294
01:16:39,125 --> 01:16:41,333
小心呀
1295
01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:43,000
有雷暴
1296
01:16:43,083 --> 01:16:45,458
下雨，該收衣服了
1297
01:16:48,416 --> 01:16:50,541
[激昂音樂]
1298
01:17:14,416 --> 01:17:15,541
勾引我老婆的叛徒
1299
01:17:19,416 --> 01:17:20,666
熟歸熟啊
1300
01:17:20,750 --> 01:17:23,791
你再亂講話，我一樣會告你毀謗
1301
01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:25,083
給我殺了他
1302
01:17:37,250 --> 01:17:39,333
[牛頭]小心，他想打噴嚏
1303
01:17:39,833 --> 01:17:41,208
[打噴嚏]
1304
01:17:42,458 --> 01:17:43,791
對不起
1305
01:17:43,875 --> 01:17:46,208
這個噴嚏一定讓大家很失望
[眾牛頭吶喊]
1306
01:17:48,833 --> 01:17:49,958
[放屁聲]
1307
01:17:54,041 --> 01:17:55,041
至尊寶
[失落音樂]
1308
01:17:55,666 --> 01:18:01,250
[吼叫]
這一次大家滿足了吧？
1309
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:05,166
師父
1310
01:18:06,041 --> 01:18:07,875
啊，原來是悟空
1311
01:18:07,958 --> 01:18:09,791
我還以為是片雨雲
1312
01:18:10,208 --> 01:18:13,750
[孫悟空]師父，弟子昔日罪孽深重
1313
01:18:13,833 --> 01:18:16,166
[孫悟空]幸得觀音大士指點迷津
1314
01:18:16,333 --> 01:18:18,166
[孫悟空]現在一心歸於我佛
1315
01:18:18,250 --> 01:18:20,750
[孫悟空]絕不會再留戀
人世間半點情慾
1316
01:18:21,416 --> 01:18:23,666
[孫悟空]護送師父去取西經這個重任
1317
01:18:23,750 --> 01:18:25,708
[孫悟空]弟子願意一力承擔
1318
01:18:26,416 --> 01:18:28,791
善哉善哉
1319
01:18:28,875 --> 01:18:31,166
你終於肯重返正途了
1320
01:18:31,416 --> 01:18:32,708
至尊寶
1321
01:18:34,625 --> 01:18:35,958
至尊寶，你回來了
1322
01:18:36,041 --> 01:18:37,000
[孫悟空]姑娘
1323
01:18:37,541 --> 01:18:40,833
我…確實認識一個朋友叫做至尊寶
1324
01:18:40,916 --> 01:18:44,750
他還有些話
托我向一個叫紫霞仙子的人說
1325
01:18:44,833 --> 01:18:45,791
是不是妳啊？
1326
01:18:46,375 --> 01:18:47,208
至尊寶
1327
01:18:47,291 --> 01:18:48,583
站住
1328
01:18:49,458 --> 01:18:51,000
我問是不是妳？噓…
1329
01:18:51,083 --> 01:18:52,958
是不是…噓…
1330
01:18:53,041 --> 01:18:55,208
-說呀…
-是
1331
01:18:55,750 --> 01:18:57,291
對了
1332
01:18:57,833 --> 01:19:01,875
他說…他已經回到從前的地方
1333
01:19:01,958 --> 01:19:04,208
還希望仙子妳能夠…
1334
01:19:04,541 --> 01:19:07,041
早日找到個如意郎君呢
1335
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,500
你別跟我開玩笑了，至尊寶
1336
01:19:13,125 --> 01:19:14,583
我再說一次
1337
01:19:14,666 --> 01:19:16,541
我的名字叫做…
1338
01:19:17,500 --> 01:19:22,125
齊天大…聖
1339
01:19:22,208 --> 01:19:23,541
不要再叫錯咯
1340
01:19:26,666 --> 01:19:28,041
今天不是你死就是我亡
[激昂音樂]
1341
01:19:29,833 --> 01:19:31,208
[孫悟空]變
1342
01:19:31,291 --> 01:19:32,708
[牛魔王]打死你這個叛徒
1343
01:19:38,833 --> 01:19:40,625
看叉
1344
01:19:44,208 --> 01:19:46,666
♪烤雞翅膀，我最愛吃♪
1345
01:19:46,916 --> 01:19:48,958
什麼？拿我的叉子烤雞翅膀？
1346
01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:52,125
對了，我差點忘記了
1347
01:19:52,708 --> 01:19:53,916
我是吃素的
1348
01:19:55,541 --> 01:19:56,458
還給我
1349
01:19:56,666 --> 01:19:57,500
來了
1350
01:20:00,541 --> 01:20:04,333
[牛魔王慘叫]
[孫悟空歡呼]
1351
01:20:09,083 --> 01:20:11,375
覺得好不好玩呀？說來聽聽
1352
01:20:14,458 --> 01:20:18,000
說呀…
1353
01:20:18,083 --> 01:20:24,000
為什麼你老是…不說話呢？
1354
01:20:24,541 --> 01:20:26,791
-快救我
-[眾手下]大王…
1355
01:20:27,541 --> 01:20:28,541
對不起
1356
01:20:28,625 --> 01:20:31,708
在你手下面前
我不應該讓你那麼丟臉
1357
01:20:31,958 --> 01:20:33,083
我來幫你
1358
01:20:33,833 --> 01:20:37,833
[孫悟空]起來
[牛魔王和眾手下慘叫]
1359
01:20:44,458 --> 01:20:45,583
還給你
1360
01:20:55,416 --> 01:20:57,208
好，蟻多能勝象
1361
01:20:57,291 --> 01:20:58,750
無敵牛蚤
1362
01:21:03,250 --> 01:21:07,250
我好怕啊，好多牛牛啊
1363
01:21:21,250 --> 01:21:22,416
幸虧我們的猴崽子也不輸
1364
01:21:31,708 --> 01:21:33,083
把猴子通通殺了
1365
01:21:35,833 --> 01:21:36,666
讓他殺
1366
01:21:51,375 --> 01:21:52,291
喂
1367
01:21:54,125 --> 01:21:56,291
齊天大聖孫悟空，是嗎？
1368
01:21:57,333 --> 01:21:59,416
你不是要去西天取西經？
1369
01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:01,166
帶我一起去，好嗎？
1370
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:05,583
對啊
1371
01:22:06,333 --> 01:22:07,250
有個女人一起
1372
01:22:07,333 --> 01:22:09,958
寂寞的時候還有人可以當個慰安婦
1373
01:22:10,041 --> 01:22:12,083
想起來真是…
1374
01:22:12,375 --> 01:22:15,291
我不行，我真的不行了
1375
01:22:15,375 --> 01:22:17,291
過來，抱著我
1376
01:22:21,041 --> 01:22:22,166
妳受不了我了
1377
01:22:22,333 --> 01:22:23,416
受得了
1378
01:22:23,583 --> 01:22:24,791
我受不了妳
1379
01:22:24,875 --> 01:22:28,000
妳長得這麼醜
幫個忙，大家都是神仙
1380
01:22:28,083 --> 01:22:30,500
不要再性騷擾我，行不行？
1381
01:22:30,791 --> 01:22:32,333
你為什麼這樣對我？
1382
01:22:33,916 --> 01:22:34,958
妳生氣啦？
1383
01:22:35,041 --> 01:22:36,083
我會生氣的
1384
01:22:36,166 --> 01:22:40,666
那就哭出來吧，笨
[奸笑]
1385
01:23:00,666 --> 01:23:02,875
我把你們這些畜牲搧上西天
[緊張音樂]
1386
01:23:08,125 --> 01:23:09,666
芭焦扇？
1387
01:23:15,708 --> 01:23:16,875
[紫霞尖叫]
1388
01:23:18,708 --> 01:23:20,875
救我呀
1389
01:23:21,625 --> 01:23:22,583
真麻煩
1390
01:23:23,083 --> 01:23:24,125
[唐三藏尖叫]
1391
01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:26,208
師父
1392
01:23:26,416 --> 01:23:28,500
悟空，救我呀
1393
01:23:37,625 --> 01:23:39,041
我不相信你會這樣對我
1394
01:23:40,541 --> 01:23:41,583
師兄
1395
01:23:41,958 --> 01:23:43,750
你們兩個保護師父
1396
01:23:43,833 --> 01:23:44,708
[沙僧和豬八戒齊聲]哦
1397
01:23:44,791 --> 01:23:45,791
我知道了
1398
01:23:49,083 --> 01:23:50,166
[青霞]紫霞，不要呀
1399
01:23:55,291 --> 01:23:56,166
妳幹什麼？
1400
01:23:56,250 --> 01:23:57,166
你肯過來了嗎？
1401
01:23:57,250 --> 01:23:59,625
為什麼這麼關心我？讓我死好了
1402
01:24:00,958 --> 01:24:02,083
我不是關心妳
1403
01:24:02,166 --> 01:24:04,000
只不過螻蟻都尚且偷生
1404
01:24:04,083 --> 01:24:06,291
神仙幹成妳這個樣子，真沒長進
1405
01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:08,916
孫悟空，你鬥不過我的
1406
01:24:29,041 --> 01:24:30,416
[唐三藏]好大條溝呀
1407
01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:33,208
[豬八戒]接住呀，快接住
1408
01:24:33,625 --> 01:24:34,916
不是吧？
1409
01:24:37,166 --> 01:24:39,125
我把整座城搧到太陽那邊去
1410
01:24:39,208 --> 01:24:41,791
我看你救得了誰？
[牛魔王大笑]
1411
01:24:42,041 --> 01:24:42,958
喂
1412
01:24:54,333 --> 01:24:56,583
別妨礙我做正經事，要死妳死遠點
1413
01:24:56,958 --> 01:24:57,916
[紫霞]等等
1414
01:25:04,083 --> 01:25:05,458
還騙我？
1415
01:25:09,958 --> 01:25:12,125
[牛魔王大笑]
1416
01:25:13,083 --> 01:25:15,708
[緊張音樂]
1417
01:25:23,500 --> 01:25:25,041
哼？臭猴子把城頂住
1418
01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:29,416
我搧
1419
01:25:31,166 --> 01:25:32,416
我把你頂回去
1420
01:25:43,500 --> 01:25:45,666
糟了，太熱，著火了
1421
01:25:48,875 --> 01:25:49,875
壞人
1422
01:25:50,750 --> 01:25:52,000
妳又想怎麼樣啊？賤人
1423
01:25:52,083 --> 01:25:53,125
混蛋
1424
01:25:53,208 --> 01:25:54,291
妳才混蛋
1425
01:25:54,375 --> 01:25:55,250
你不是人
1426
01:25:55,333 --> 01:25:56,708
妳才不是人
1427
01:25:56,791 --> 01:25:57,791
妳不要再發神經了
1428
01:25:57,875 --> 01:25:59,666
我剛才跟妳說的話，妳明不明白？
1429
01:25:59,750 --> 01:26:02,333
你又明不明白我已經不再是神仙呢？
1430
01:26:02,750 --> 01:26:03,916
我至少明白一件事
1431
01:26:04,000 --> 01:26:06,208
原來喜歡一個人是這麼痛苦
1432
01:26:06,666 --> 01:26:08,416
不要跟我說這種廢話
1433
01:26:08,500 --> 01:26:10,291
我說過妳認錯人了
[悲傷音樂]
1434
01:26:10,625 --> 01:26:13,000
那麼這串金鈴是在哪家店買的？
1435
01:26:18,083 --> 01:26:19,208
小心
1436
01:26:23,166 --> 01:26:25,375
-紫霞
-我打
1437
01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:36,625
小心呀，師父
1438
01:26:47,916 --> 01:26:49,041
[孫悟空]紫霞
1439
01:26:55,166 --> 01:26:58,458
我的意中人是一個蓋世人物
1440
01:26:59,583 --> 01:27:03,000
有一天，他會踩著七色彩雲來迎娶我
1441
01:27:03,791 --> 01:27:05,750
我猜中了開頭
1442
01:27:07,375 --> 01:27:11,375
但是我猜不著這結局
1443
01:27:30,000 --> 01:27:36,416
[痛苦呻吟]
1444
01:27:49,916 --> 01:27:52,208
[怒吼]
1445
01:27:56,083 --> 01:27:57,250
[豬八戒和沙僧齊聲]師父…
1446
01:27:57,666 --> 01:27:59,166
我要你的命
1447
01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,416
[牛魔王慘叫]
1448
01:28:38,375 --> 01:28:41,000
-好熱啊，我快變烤豬了
-師兄
1449
01:28:41,083 --> 01:28:41,916
這裡快要爆炸了
1450
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:44,291
一定要靠月光寶盒才能離開這裡
1451
01:28:44,500 --> 01:28:46,416
-走
-[豬八戒]走…
1452
01:28:48,333 --> 01:28:50,416
[沙僧]快撞向太陽了，快走
1453
01:28:50,500 --> 01:28:51,916
帶師父先走
1454
01:28:55,875 --> 01:28:56,833
青霞
1455
01:28:56,916 --> 01:28:58,500
[青霞]我妹妹已經不在了
1456
01:28:59,041 --> 01:29:01,500
我想我應該回如來佛祖那兒做燈芯
1457
01:29:01,583 --> 01:29:03,250
你自己保重吧
1458
01:29:22,625 --> 01:29:26,208
[灑水聲]
1459
01:29:37,916 --> 01:29:40,083
[沙僧]哎？大師兄
這麼早就起來啦！
1460
01:29:40,166 --> 01:29:41,208
[孫悟空]發生什麼事啊？
1461
01:29:41,291 --> 01:29:43,125
[豬八戒]大師兄，你都忘記啦？
1462
01:29:43,208 --> 01:29:44,791
昨晚碰上一場大風沙
1463
01:29:44,875 --> 01:29:46,791
你把我們帶回這裡來啦
1464
01:29:47,166 --> 01:29:48,125
走！
1465
01:29:49,208 --> 01:29:50,666
-[孫悟空]上哪去？師父
-[唐三藏]天竺
1466
01:29:50,750 --> 01:29:52,416
-哦
-師父怎麼這麼說話？
1467
01:29:52,916 --> 01:29:55,333
師父說話一向簡潔，走吧
1468
01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:58,333
[豬八戒]師父，別走那麼快嘛
1469
01:30:01,166 --> 01:30:02,541
師兄，小心呀
1470
01:30:02,625 --> 01:30:03,458
[豬八戒]謝謝
1471
01:30:04,666 --> 01:30:05,666
嗯
1472
01:30:07,500 --> 01:30:09,416
[男子聲]相傳五百年前
這裡就是水簾洞
1473
01:30:09,500 --> 01:30:10,625
[男子聲]齊天大聖住的地方
1474
01:30:10,708 --> 01:30:12,583
[男子聲]自從他打死牛魔王
救回唐僧之後
1475
01:30:12,666 --> 01:30:13,791
[男子聲]這個世界再沒有妖怪了
1476
01:30:13,875 --> 01:30:15,958
[男子聲]從此以後
很多人來這混水摸魚
1477
01:30:16,041 --> 01:30:16,875
那個傢伙
1478
01:30:16,958 --> 01:30:19,875
裝個豬頭居然說自己是豬八戒
1479
01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:21,458
[男子]嘩，大哥呀
1480
01:30:21,541 --> 01:30:23,625
[男子]你化這個妝
就說自己是孫悟空啊？
1481
01:30:23,708 --> 01:30:25,458
[男子]給點專業精神，好不好？
1482
01:30:25,541 --> 01:30:27,708
你看，那些毛通通都開叉了
1483
01:30:27,791 --> 01:30:29,916
頭上像戴了兩塊鹹煎餅似的
1484
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:32,500
出來混飯吃，得花點本錢嘛
1485
01:30:32,583 --> 01:30:33,500
[男子]看什麼看？
1486
01:30:33,583 --> 01:30:35,083
[男子]你的妝是化得噁心嘛
1487
01:30:35,166 --> 01:30:36,416
[男子]生我氣，我也這麼說
1488
01:30:36,500 --> 01:30:37,625
我不會生氣的
1489
01:30:37,958 --> 01:30:39,416
再刺我三下吧
1490
01:30:39,500 --> 01:30:41,500
[男子]你以為我不敢啊？你這混蛋
1491
01:30:41,875 --> 01:30:42,958
謝謝
[群眾大笑]
1492
01:30:44,166 --> 01:30:47,708
這傢伙要我刺他三刀
是前世欠了我嗎？
1493
01:30:47,791 --> 01:30:51,583
[輕快音樂]
1494
01:30:51,666 --> 01:30:54,166
-嘿，師兄啊，準備出發了
-大師兄
1495
01:30:57,500 --> 01:30:58,958
[孫悟空]菩提洞？
1496
01:31:01,750 --> 01:31:03,041
哦，好的
1497
01:31:06,625 --> 01:31:08,208
謝謝…
1498
01:31:10,666 --> 01:31:13,666
-大師兄啊，你在看什麼？
-八戒，賣豆腐那兩個
1499
01:31:13,750 --> 01:31:14,875
那兩個？
1500
01:31:15,208 --> 01:31:17,125
哦…豆腐西施嘛
1501
01:31:17,583 --> 01:31:20,250
聽這裡的人說
她們辛辛苦苦賣豆腐，賺到錢
1502
01:31:20,333 --> 01:31:23,375
是給她們相公上京考狀元的
1503
01:31:27,500 --> 01:31:29,500
狀元到
1504
01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:40,333
[女子]哎呀，媚娘啊媚娘
1505
01:31:40,416 --> 01:31:42,000
[女子]真是恭喜妳啊
1506
01:31:42,083 --> 01:31:44,166
-[女子]妳相公高中狀元回來了
-[媚娘]啊？
1507
01:31:44,250 --> 01:31:46,416
-嗯？
-[女子]還不趕快去迎接妳相公？
1508
01:31:48,375 --> 01:31:51,000
娘子
1509
01:31:51,416 --> 01:31:53,875
-相公，你回來了
-娘子
1510
01:31:56,791 --> 01:31:58,833
走開吧，臭女人，妳看什麼？
1511
01:31:59,291 --> 01:32:00,250
哼
1512
01:32:01,000 --> 01:32:02,250
娘子
1513
01:32:02,708 --> 01:32:06,500
啊…辛苦兩位磨豆腐
1514
01:32:06,583 --> 01:32:09,875
辛苦兩位磨豆腐啊
1515
01:32:10,708 --> 01:32:12,625
-相公
-相公
1516
01:32:12,958 --> 01:32:16,375
磨豆腐有多辛苦？我也會呀
1517
01:32:17,625 --> 01:32:19,708
-走
-走啦
1518
01:32:26,208 --> 01:32:28,208
♪[豬八戒]吹個球♪
1519
01:32:28,291 --> 01:32:29,416
♪吹個大球球♪
1520
01:32:29,500 --> 01:32:32,208
♪吹大了氣球，玩球球♪
1521
01:32:32,291 --> 01:32:34,833
-[男子聲]他們好像想動手了，快來
-[路人]有熱鬧看啊
1522
01:32:34,916 --> 01:32:36,125
[唐三藏]悟空
1523
01:32:36,458 --> 01:32:37,583
師父
1524
01:32:38,416 --> 01:32:39,375
看看
1525
01:32:39,500 --> 01:32:40,583
好
1526
01:32:46,583 --> 01:32:49,708
[路人一]你看看他們
站在上面已經幾天幾夜了
1527
01:32:50,708 --> 01:32:52,041
[路人二]哎呀，走了
1528
01:32:55,750 --> 01:32:57,000
[路人三、四齊聲]妖怪
1529
01:33:01,625 --> 01:33:03,166
看來我不應該來
1530
01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:05,750
現在才知道已經太晚了
1531
01:33:06,583 --> 01:33:08,250
留下一段回憶，行不行？
1532
01:33:09,333 --> 01:33:10,666
我不要回憶
1533
01:33:10,833 --> 01:33:12,375
要留的話，留下你的人
1534
01:33:13,666 --> 01:33:15,375
這樣子只得到我的肉體
1535
01:33:15,458 --> 01:33:16,750
並不能得到我的靈魂
1536
01:33:17,333 --> 01:33:18,708
[男子]我已經有愛人了
1537
01:33:19,041 --> 01:33:21,000
我們不會有結果，妳讓我走吧
1538
01:33:21,791 --> 01:33:23,875
好，我讓你走
1539
01:33:24,333 --> 01:33:25,958
但是臨走前，你要親我一下
1540
01:33:26,333 --> 01:33:28,041
[路人齊聲]親她吧
1541
01:33:28,125 --> 01:33:29,250
[路人齊聲]親啊…
1542
01:33:29,333 --> 01:33:31,583
我再怎麼說也是個夕陽武士
1543
01:33:31,666 --> 01:33:33,166
妳叫我親我就親
1544
01:33:33,333 --> 01:33:35,125
那我的形象不是全毀了？
1545
01:33:35,416 --> 01:33:36,666
你說謊
1546
01:33:37,958 --> 01:33:40,250
你不敢親我，因為你還喜歡我
1547
01:33:40,458 --> 01:33:41,708
我告訴你
1548
01:33:41,791 --> 01:33:42,791
[女子]你這一次拒絕我的話
1549
01:33:42,875 --> 01:33:44,458
[女子]你會後悔一輩子
1550
01:33:45,416 --> 01:33:47,000
就算後悔也不會親
1551
01:33:47,458 --> 01:33:50,750
只能怪相逢恨晚，造物弄人啊
1552
01:33:51,583 --> 01:33:56,083
[《一生所愛》播放中]
1553
01:35:23,083 --> 01:35:23,958
[路人齊聲]太好了
1554
01:35:32,833 --> 01:35:34,750
我這輩子都不會走
1555
01:35:34,833 --> 01:35:35,875
我愛妳
1556
01:35:42,875 --> 01:35:44,041
[路人齊聲]太好了
1557
01:35:53,833 --> 01:35:54,916
早就應該親了
1558
01:36:22,375 --> 01:36:23,416
幹什麼？
1559
01:36:23,500 --> 01:36:25,375
那個人的樣子好怪啊
1560
01:36:25,875 --> 01:36:27,041
我也看到
1561
01:36:29,333 --> 01:36:30,916
他好像條狗吧？
101894
