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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,002
? dramatic theme playing ?
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007
?
3
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:13,013
? tense music playing ?
4
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:17,225
TERRY: Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
5
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:19,310
I'm so excited for this dinner,
I could plotz!
6
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,521
Lawry's cold-soaked tuna is the best!
7
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,439
I haven't eaten all week to get ready.
8
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,025
Just Red Bull mist
and an occasional line of Cheeto dust.
9
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,818
Ooh, the Jake Paul diet.
10
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,820
You're almost at the ideal
dickhead weight.
11
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,656
Welcome to Lawry's: The Prime Rib,
12
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:34,992
universally known for prime rib
and really nothing else.
13
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,577
No need for earthly menus, Lawrence,
14
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,871
we'll have four orders
of your finest cold soak.
15
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,374
Nobody ever orders
the whole tuna ceviche.
16
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,167
We're mostly known
for our prime rib and-
17
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,127
If I wanted to eat a cow,
I'd grow one in a vat!
18
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,338
Stop trying to upsell us
and get us our soaked tuna.
19
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:51,300
Yeah, so we're not offering
cold-soaked tuna tonight.
20
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,051
[Terry, Jesse, and Yumyulack gasp]
- Oh, my God.
21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,094
- What?
- Did something happen
22
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,095
to the tuna machine?
23
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,305
No, today is Valentine's Day,
24
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,099
and we do a special pre-fixed menu
25
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,434
with love as our inspiration.
26
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,603
Ugh, a celebration
of the most disgusting,
27
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:03,771
dripping human emotion.
28
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,816
Our alien bodies are immune to stupid,
stinky hormones like that.
29
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,609
Just find a mate and swap gametes.
30
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,236
Why do humans have to add candy
31
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,780
and cards and make money
off their DNA swapping?
32
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:13,739
Just swap it.
33
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,034
But Valentine's Day is like
the most romantic night of the year.
34
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,453
It's not just about DNA.
Look around.
35
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,414
? romantic music playing ?
36
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,331
No, fuck this.
37
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,791
We follow a strict eating calendar.
38
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,710
Every night of the year is booked
at a different restaurant.
39
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,462
If we change it,
it throws off the entire decade.
40
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,380
This is an attack.
41
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,549
This man is trying to starve us!
42
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:32,508
I don't know what to tell you.
43
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,552
If you want the tuna,
you'll just have to come back
44
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,053
when it's not Valentine's Day.
45
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,555
I could turn
this whole place to dust
46
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,515
with a snap
of my Thanos ray, Lawrence.
47
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,975
My name's not Lawrence.
48
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,810
It's Antonio Sabato III.
49
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,438
You'll be hearing
from my bot army, Larry.
50
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:48,817
We will never forget this.
51
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:53,070
? dreamy music ?
52
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,280
Damn, that was a long year.
53
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,866
And while we had to make
some sacrifices to our meal roster...
54
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,035
Rest in power,
Guy Fieri's Flavor Trough.
55
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,453
...it was all worth it to make room
56
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,497
for the wettest meal of all,
Lawry's cold-soaked tuna.
57
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,708
Fuck off with that.
It's not Valentine's Day.
58
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:06,667
It's a Wednesday.
59
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,878
Valentine's Day is February 14th.
60
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:09,587
Always.
61
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,964
It's tied to the calendar day,
not the day of the week.
62
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:12,798
[Opposites gasping]
63
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,300
TERRY:
Oh, no!
64
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,218
Not again.
65
00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:16,761
Korvo, do something!
66
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,763
This is going to keep happening
unless someone has the guts
67
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,723
to stand up and stop the madness.
68
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,266
And even though we technically
don't have guts,
69
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,894
just a bunch of alien twigs
wrapped around nine beating hearts,
70
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,395
that someone be us.
71
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,855
Listen up, you romantic fucks!
72
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,901
The Solar Opposites are declaring a war
on Valentine's Day.
73
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:32,527
Next year.
74
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:33,903
Tonight, we shall have four orders
75
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,238
of your second wettest dish.
76
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,908
Four bowls of sausage gravy
comin' right up.
77
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,327
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
78
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,497
until the asteroid hit.
79
00:02:43,498 --> 00:02:46,415
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa,
80
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,584
and escaped into the... space,
81
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,045
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
82
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,255
We crashed on Earth,
83
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,549
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
84
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,175
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
85
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,426
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
86
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,095
My name's Korvo. This is my show.
87
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,429
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
88
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,473
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth.
89
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:03,474
It's a horrible home.
90
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,184
People are stupid and confusing.
91
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,979
All this Valentine's Day shit
is too huggy-feely.
92
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,189
You have a tiny baby flying around
wearing a diaper
93
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,399
making people fall in love.
94
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,400
Why wear the diaper?
95
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,235
He should be shitting
on cars like a bird.
96
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:17,239
? ominous music ?
97
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,158
[lightning striking]
98
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,660
KORVO:
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
99
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,328
The hour is finally upon us.
100
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,955
Yes [laughing]
101
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,039
Wait, what are we doing again?
102
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,000
We're destroying
Valentine's Day, remember?
103
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,084
We've been planning all year.
104
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,377
And how are we doing that again?
105
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,920
We're taking all the items
we've gathered
106
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,547
that cause people
to fall out of love
107
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,258
and depositing them into the cauldron
from the Halloween episode.
108
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,677
The double bubble
will extract the misery matter
109
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,554
while the toil and trouble
distills it down
110
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,055
to a single sci-fi pill,
111
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,474
permanently removing love
from everyone on Earth.
112
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,518
Mercury will be in retrograde no more.
113
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,686
Alright, what did everyone gather?
114
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,896
Oh, me first.
115
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,647
This crippling porn addiction
should do the trick.
116
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,316
No marriage could survive
a stash of feet pics
117
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,151
of every First Lady since 1869.
118
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,485
[sizzling]
119
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,320
Terry?
120
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,738
To add to this brew,
121
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,990
the video game Destiny 2,
122
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,492
with an endless amount of exotics
to unlock in weekly raids,
123
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,621
it's either your fireteam or your family.
124
00:04:05,622 --> 00:04:07,246
Well done, Terry.
125
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,956
My contribution are these texts
from a friend
126
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,834
who's in town for a reptile convention
and wants to catch up.
127
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,086
Aw, the Pupa brought heroin.
128
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,004
Good Pupa.
129
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,464
Jesse, you are awfully quiet.
130
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,090
Are you taking some
sort of weird stand
131
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,217
like when you stopped eating meat
132
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:20,843
because you said
the vegetables had it coming?
133
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,011
No. Sorta.
134
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,430
It's just that I actually like
Valentine's Day.
135
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,640
[Terry, Korvo, and Yumyulack gasp]
- Why?
136
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,475
It's about selling pink merch
137
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,352
and making people feel bad
138
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,437
about not even having a robot girlfriend.
139
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,524
Oh, come on, little baby Cupids,
the heart decorations?
140
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,734
Are we sure we wanna get rid of love?
141
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,320
Um, we're Shlorpians,
we don't even have love.
142
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,404
It means nothing to us.
143
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,573
Look what you did, Jesse.
You made Terry be right.
144
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,449
We don't have love.
145
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,575
We don't?
146
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,410
No, we have teammate affinity.
147
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,204
It's an ingrained, unemotional attachment
148
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,330
that supports the mission.
149
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,915
[liquid bubbling]
150
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,041
? ominous music ?
151
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,751
Okay, shut the fuck up
about stupid-ass love.
152
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,669
Let's do this.
153
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:56,546
[computer beeping, machine whirring]
154
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:59,091
? intense music ?
155
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,475
[all groan]
156
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,347
[all groaning]
157
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,473
You couldn't have made
the thing any wider?
158
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,267
It triggered my scoliosis.
159
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:12,270
Watching Alabama sorority TikToks
all day triggered your scoliosis.
160
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,147
Leave my kick-ass tube out of this.
161
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,818
Yumyulack, the emotioNOMeter.
162
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,070
[beeping]
163
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,115
Why does it look like one
of those love tester machines from a bar?
164
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,036
I sprang for the thematic skin package.
165
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,786
[alarm blaring]
166
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,331
[laser charging]
167
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,382
[laser fires]
168
00:05:35,184 --> 00:05:38,129
[man grunts]
[horns honking]
169
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:42,133
? ominous music ?
170
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:46,137
?
171
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,139
Ha, ha! It's working!
172
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,308
[computer beeping]
173
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,225
[Opposites cheering]
174
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,060
Suck a butt, Nancy Meyers!
We did it!
175
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,729
Love can now officially fuck off!
176
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,522
And just in time
for February 14th.
177
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,108
Let's hope this was enough
to get rid of Valentine's Day.
178
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,159
[all groan]
179
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:01,819
KORVO:
Oh, God, yes.
180
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,447
Oh, the juice is so briny and pungent.
181
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,991
Mm, they really captured the aroma
of a public bathroom.
182
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,869
These tiki drinks they added
are tiki-mazing!
183
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,080
I'm just glad this place
is back to normal.
184
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,207
[people sobbing quietly]
185
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:18,002
I really hope removing love from Earth
didn't have any long-term side effects
186
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,921
like when we messed
with the Jingleverse
187
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,380
in the holiday special?
188
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,133
Yeah, right, there's no way we'd be
in another holiday special
189
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,843
where we turn everyone into zombies.
190
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,845
[Korvo, Terry, and Yumyulack laughing]
191
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:28,513
TERRY:
Yeah.
192
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:30,765
? romantic music ?
193
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,016
This is bullshit.
194
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,392
How am I supposed
to find something to wear
195
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,394
for St. Patrick's Day when all
the stores have been closed
196
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,979
and turned into Tommy Bahamas?
197
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,023
I tried to stop for lunch
at Lolo Burger,
198
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,317
but every restaurant is now
a Margaritaville,
199
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,528
Islands, or Cheeseburger in Paradise.
200
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,196
- What?
- Wow, what a day.
201
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:46,781
I'm drunk as hell, but not throwing up.
202
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:47,990
[Terry vomits]
203
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,368
I made a bunch of friends
on this tiki crawl.
204
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,036
We hit up the ukulele center
205
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,872
and jammed Trop-Rock hits
until for hours.
206
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:55,748
Hours.
207
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,084
Only letdown was when we tried
to buy some parrots.
208
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,627
Every pet store is sold out.
209
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,838
[gasps]
Parrots are supes in vogue I guess.
210
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,049
Interesting, um, I'm gonna go
take care of some stuff.
211
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,551
So if you're wondering where I am-
212
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:07,260
No one gives a shit.
213
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,471
Korvo, all this basic beach stuff
must be our fault!
214
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,723
I told you we shouldn't have
removed love from the world.
215
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,392
Oh, enough with the hysterics, Jesse.
216
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,768
You thought there were gonna be zombies.
217
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,521
Just because the town is taking on
a bit of a chill island vibe
218
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,315
doesn't mean it has anything to do
with our removing love from the planet.
219
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,109
I'm sure AISHA has an explanation
220
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,861
that completely exonerates us.
221
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,238
AISHA: Oh, this is
one hundred percent y'all's fault.
222
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,823
Well, there's a first time
for everything.
223
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,825
AISHA: When you removed love
from everyone on Earth,
224
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,035
it left humans with "soul holes."
225
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,162
- Oh!
- Dumb, but continue.
226
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,707
AISHA: You created a power vacuum,
but for happiness.
227
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,209
The thing that most naturally fills
a loveless hole
228
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:43,671
in a human soul is Parrot Head
Margaritaville Tiki culture.
229
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,340
And that's happening
to every human on earth.
230
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,302
Who cares, it's tiki time, muthafucka!
231
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,972
We need to release love back
into the world before things get worse.
232
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,266
Just like it did in the Christmas special.
233
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,684
I already hung a lantern on that.
234
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,436
Tiki culture isn't going
to destroy the world
235
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,104
and usher in a post-apocalyptic era
236
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,856
� la the greatest motion picture ever,
237
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:02,690
The Book of Eli.
238
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:03,608
I'll prove it to you.
239
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:07,695
? upbeat tropical music ?
240
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,948
?
241
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,492
[crane whirring]
242
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,913
[blender whirring]
243
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,542
[slurping]
244
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,422
No salt?
BOTH: Oh!
245
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,675
? upbeat tropical music continues ?
246
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,219
[marker squeaking]
247
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:36,265
?
248
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,935
[drill whirring]
249
00:08:39,513 --> 00:08:41,479
[alarm blaring]
250
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,590
Ah, geez, the Earth's core's
made of rum!
251
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,568
[both yelling]
252
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,863
[people cheering]
253
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:55,284
?
254
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,620
Okay, even though this isn't the same
as the Christmas special
255
00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,039
and you were wrong about the zombies.
- Ah, geez.
256
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,207
? steel drums playing ?
- It is very bad
257
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,125
and could have
planet-destroying consequences.
258
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,419
The Pupa is supposed
to destroy the planet, not us.
259
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,504
Terry, will you stop?
260
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:07,755
Put down those mallets.
261
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,258
It's time to release love
back into the world.
262
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:12,844
Yeah, right,
this new world rocks, Korvo.
263
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,887
I got a Blue Hawaiian at the post office.
264
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,973
I am not setting foot, nay, a toe
265
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:18,391
in a flip flop-less world.
266
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,519
No love means
no 90 Day Fianc�, Terry.
267
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,938
[yelps]
To the containment unit.
268
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,523
[Jesse gasps]
- Where's the fucking thing?
269
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,233
Terry, you've been home this whole time!
270
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,444
How did you not notice someone stealing
a gigantic heart-shaped containment unit?
271
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,906
You drink 37 Mai Tais
and try noticing shit.
272
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,825
JESSE:
Juul pods.
273
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,159
[sniffs]
Balut egg.
274
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,704
[sniffs]
New car smell. Caramel budino.
275
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,414
These are Yum's favorite flavors.
276
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,708
What's that awkward
little fuckboy up to now?
277
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,293
- Woo-woo.
- He's got his scent.
278
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,584
Good Pupa. Find the Yum-ster.
[Pupa sniffing]
279
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,383
? wondrous music ?
280
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,801
Nice tracking, Pupa.
281
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,137
Here's $700 to spend at Epcot Center.
282
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,638
No Magic Kingdom, you hear me?
283
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,099
We may be too late to save the Earth.
284
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,475
It's snowing in Florida.
285
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,561
Wait a second.
That's not snow.
286
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,771
[sniffs]
It's parrot poop.
287
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:06,939
Poop fight.
[splatters]
288
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,610
We all love poop fights,
but now is not the time.
289
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,029
What the flock?
290
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,406
[parrots squawking]
291
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,200
? ominous music ?
292
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:20,453
Come, come, we've been expecting you.
293
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,164
Expecting you, expecting you.
294
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,249
Yumyulack, you little bitch,
what is all of this?
295
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,584
[squawks] Little bitch.
296
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:29,879
Just my massively successful
parrot breeding operation,
297
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,797
and it's all thanks to Terry.
298
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,090
Terry, Terry.
299
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,675
You're welcome.
I mean what?
300
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,344
Your little tip about
the parrot shortage.
301
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:39,597
Due to a lack of love,
there was a high demand and low stock,
302
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,517
so I opened the biggest
parrot mill in the world.
303
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:44,227
In the world. [squawks]
304
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,354
These repetitive dummies
are making me rich.
305
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:48,064
As your mission leader,
I demand you give up
306
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,607
this weird fucking bird business.
307
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:51,651
Yeah, right.
Jimmy's got the music.
308
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:52,860
Tommy's got the shirts.
309
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,779
And Yummy's got the parrots.
310
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,865
Please, Yumyulack, please give us back
the containment unit.
311
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,868
Do you really want the Pupa to grow up
in a world without love?
312
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,787
Our TV shows suck now, Yumyulack.
313
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,413
Bob Works With Abishola?
314
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,998
Everybody Knows Raymond?
315
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,584
I dropped the containment unit
into the bottom of the volcano
316
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,752
from Joe Versus the Volcano.
317
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:10,670
That doesn't exist.
318
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,213
These parrots are the perfect commodity.
319
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,506
Smart enough to be a good pet
320
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,508
but too stupid to ever fight back.
321
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,843
Nothing can stop me now.
322
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,847
[laughing maniacally]
323
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,306
No!
324
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:23,809
What did you just say to me?
325
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,853
? intense music ?
326
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,939
[straining] I said no!
327
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:34,151
PARROTS:
No! No! No!
328
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,571
What the hell?
Are these parrots fighting back?
329
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:38,281
I've got it under control.
330
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,198
I'm the boss.
331
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,033
These stupid parrots
have to listen to me.
332
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,077
[screaming]
333
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,328
PARROTS:
No! No!
334
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,331
Freedom!
335
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,000
[parrots squawking]
336
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,051
[wings fluttering]
337
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,838
Aw, geez, parrot revolution!
338
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:54,839
It's still not zombies!
339
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,508
I never said zombies!
340
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,681
? intense music ?
341
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,225
NARRATOR: After a family
of aliens removed love
342
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,310
from the world,
343
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:10,313
their soul holes were filled
with Margaritaville.
344
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,690
Yumyulack capitalized
on island culture
345
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:15,234
by manufacturing
and selling parrots
346
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,528
to every household
across the globe.
347
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:21,324
But he didn't realize
that they could read.
348
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,327
The New Yorker articles he used
to line their cages
349
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:27,205
enhanced their
already intelligent minds.
350
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:29,040
It was the perfect storm.
351
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,001
The parrots turned on their masters
and broke their bonds.
352
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,254
With a bird in every house,
the human race was caught unprepared
353
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,089
for the feathered uprising.
354
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,342
The parrots organized, militarized,
355
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,511
and went after the biggest prize of all,
356
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:43,639
civilization itself.
357
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,974
After a bloody conflict
known as World War P,
358
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,268
the parrots emerged victorious.
359
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,187
They subjugated humanity,
360
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:55,149
becoming the dominant species
on Earth practically overnight.
361
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,360
Humans are an afterthought.
362
00:12:57,361 --> 00:13:00,113
The Age of the Parrot is now.
363
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,616
? intense music ?
364
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:04,659
[parrot squawking]
365
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:05,710
[splatters]
366
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,789
? intense music ?
367
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,916
[parrots squawking]
368
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,919
? somber music ?
369
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,295
[parrot squawks]
[human grunts]
370
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,005
I'll never say it.
You can't make me.
371
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,632
Gah, you feathered fucks!
372
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,592
Just say "Korvo wants a cracker."
373
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,762
I'm telling you, man,
life gets way easier once you sympathize.
374
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,723
No, I'm a hyper-intelligent alien
with regenerative capabilities,
375
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,559
and I own a secret book
that has all three answers
376
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,393
to the meaning of life.
377
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,727
These are birds, gah!
378
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,437
Fucking Yumyulack, this is all his fault.
379
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,940
Yeah, that little fart face really knows
how to cling to power.
380
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,359
Jesse is our only hope.
381
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,444
You could probably find Jesse
and her band of human rebels here.
382
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,487
She loves hiding here too.
383
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,488
Oh, if she's over here,
384
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,740
she definitely wouldn't see
a brutal slaughter coming.
385
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,285
If you need me,
I'll be in my room playing Mario Kart.
386
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:49,245
How about pasta for dinner tonight?
387
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,414
Everything's been so seed-forward lately.
388
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,331
We should mix it up.
389
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,791
[necks cracking]
[parrots squawk]
390
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,169
No! My best friends,
parrots number one and two!
391
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:57,220
Ah!
392
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,755
? ominous music ?
393
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,717
Ow, that bag scraped my giant eyes!
394
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:05,136
Welcome to the resistance.
395
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,847
Of course, a nerd like you
would drag me into school.
396
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,182
We turned it into our base.
397
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:11,559
Parrots won't come near it
'cause of all the asbestos.
398
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,895
It's because they're cool
and school is for losers.
399
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,354
[Yumyulack grunts]
- Oh, you.
400
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,773
We know the parrots
are planning something.
401
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,275
Something big.
402
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,694
I... I don't know
what you're talking about.
403
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,988
Boys.
404
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,739
[whooshing]
- Ah!
405
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:28,576
Notorious bird killers Randy Johnson
and Sully Sullenberger?
406
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,995
Let The Big Unit
take care of this little traitor.
407
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,956
No, I know there's still good in you!
408
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:34,749
[drill whirring]
- Yumyulack!
409
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,125
Down, boy.
410
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,085
You're a bounty hunter, Yum.
411
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,047
Help us take down the parrots
and restore love to the world.
412
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:44,091
Then everything can go back
to the way it used to be.
413
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,218
Why would I wanna go back
414
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:48,554
to another year of not getting
any Valentine's Day cards?
415
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,180
What?
416
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:51,766
This was never about cold-soaked tuna.
417
00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:54,018
I hated Valentine's Day more than anyone
418
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:57,021
because I never got a card
from anybody at school.
419
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,481
I felt like such a loser.
420
00:14:58,482 --> 00:14:59,774
What are you talking about?
421
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:00,816
Everyone gets cards.
422
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,236
It's school policy
so nobody's feelings get hurt.
423
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:04,529
Well, mine did!
424
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,281
I never got a single Valentine,
so stop rubbing it in.
425
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,033
They put them in our cubbies.
426
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,452
Oh, what's a cubby?
427
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,370
Holy shit!
428
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,163
I had no idea we had cubbies.
429
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,123
Look at all these Valentines.
430
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,292
All these people have a crush on me.
431
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,877
I knew I was a dime piece.
432
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:21,754
How are you this dumb?
433
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:25,341
Angela, Pamela, Sandra, and Rita.
434
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:26,425
What have I done?
435
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,094
The parrots are gonna use my satellite
436
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,680
to permanently remove
the voices of everyone on Earth
437
00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:32,265
so they can rule
the world forever.
438
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,724
Yumyulack, how could you?
439
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,142
I didn't know about cubbies.
440
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,811
We live in a digital age.
441
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:37,937
These should be emails.
442
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,397
How much time do we have?
443
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:42,525
They're launching a spaceship
to the satellite right fucking now.
444
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,277
Oh, no!
445
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:46,654
Wait, sorry, right in
a fucking half an hour.
446
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:47,947
Did you just check your wrist?
447
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,575
Animation error?
Let's go!
448
00:15:49,576 --> 00:15:53,369
You were right, Terry.
This actually isn't that bad.
449
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,830
And to be honest,
Korvo really did want a cracker.
450
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,874
Oh, man, just wait till
they lick off the crumbs
451
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:59,167
with their nubby little tongues.
452
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:01,088
It's like getting tickled by an eraser.
453
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,839
[airplane crashing]
454
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,508
It's no Hudson, but it'll do.
455
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,218
Ah, Sullenberger.
456
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:09,969
[parrots squawking]
457
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,138
? intense music ?
458
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,474
[parrots squawking]
459
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,729
Curveball, slider, fastball, boom!
460
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:20,605
Changeup, boom!
461
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:23,025
And you're dead, woo, woo, woo.
462
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,859
[drill whirring]
463
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,653
[parrot squawking]
464
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,329
Come on!
465
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,408
Yumyulack!
466
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,160
I'm not ready to lose my voice.
467
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,786
I just learned about explaining things
468
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,587
to women they're already experts on.
469
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:39,423
Randy, hurry!
470
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,751
I love you, Jesse!
471
00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:43,419
I love you too.
472
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,713
Sometimes the game
doesn't go your way.
473
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,298
[screaming]
474
00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,800
[parrots squawking]
475
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,762
[intercom beeping]
476
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:54,347
Can we please get some snacks?
477
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,307
Terry, focus,
the parrots are on their way
478
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:58,351
to Yumyulack's satellite right now.
479
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:00,645
We need to find some other way
to restore love to the world.
480
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:01,395
But how?
481
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:04,065
No way we can get that containment unit
out of the volcano.
482
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,608
There is one other option.
483
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:08,861
A species on this planet
with so much passion woven into their DNA
484
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:11,872
that they were immune
to the effects of the love removal ray.
485
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,282
JESSE:
Penguins!
486
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,867
Twice as monogamous as a human
487
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,286
and one of the most aquadynamic
animals in the world.
488
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,372
Not once has a single penguin
cheated with me.
489
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:20,414
They're very dedicated.
490
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:21,707
Why did that even come up?
491
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,178
Go on, in the hatch,
you mate-for-life fuckers!
492
00:17:24,179 --> 00:17:26,712
Come on, penguins,
suck in those cute little bellies.
493
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,131
[Opposites groan]
494
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,550
We just need to get
these two fancy fucks
495
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,552
to express their love
inside the energy chamber.
496
00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,637
My satellite will blast
their emotions onto Earth,
497
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,722
completely restoring love to humanity.
498
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:37,431
Look!
499
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:38,851
We gotta hurry this shit up.
500
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,352
Whoa, nice parrot ship.
501
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,478
What the hell, Korvo?
502
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,021
How come ours isn't shaped
like anything?
503
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,606
The fuck do you mean?
It's shaped like a ship.
504
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:47,859
Quick, someone says sexy stuff
to get these two feeling sweaty.
505
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:50,152
I brought some gear
from the resistance headquarters
506
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,697
that should do the trick.
507
00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:56,325
No one can resist the sounds of romance.
508
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,953
? Marvin Gaye's
Let's Get It On playing ?
509
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:02,874
? I've been really tryin', baby ?
510
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,084
Ooh, look at the way
she's checking you out.
511
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,378
That's one confident hunk of a penguin,
512
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,921
uh, is what she's thinking.
513
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,174
Girl, did you see the way
he waddled in there?
514
00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:13,095
Somebody's been hittin' the igloo gym.
515
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:14,685
I think it's working.
516
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:17,890
Fuck you!
517
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:20,142
Birds forever!
518
00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:23,853
They just ejected themselves into space.
519
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:26,439
JESSE: The parrots must have
already gotten to them.
520
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,649
The birds have joined forces.
521
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,110
YUMYULACK: Damn, penguins
are truly an amazing animal.
522
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,445
I guess this is it, Terry.
523
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:33,446
We had a good run.
524
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,698
Ice Lava, trains, inventing NFTs.
525
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:37,283
I just wish there was something
we could do
526
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,826
to save the world.
527
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,745
Ugh, why can't we love each other?
528
00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:42,538
We could operate
this stupid thing on our own.
529
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:45,208
We can't!
Shlorpians only have teammate affinity.
530
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,834
Not once have we bought each other flowers
531
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:48,920
or given the other
a RAV4 with a bow on it.
532
00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,671
We've never done anything
that defines love.
533
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,465
I hate stupid teammate affinity.
534
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,675
It's so annoying
that I miss you uncontrollably
535
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:55,760
the moment you leave a room.
536
00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:57,428
Right, and the way
it makes the prickly bumps
537
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:59,055
on my arm stand up
whenever you bend over
538
00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:00,431
to pick up mail off the floor.
539
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:01,849
[ship squawks]
540
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,267
Since we're going to die anyway,
541
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,603
maybe teammate affinity
will nudge the needle a little.
542
00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:06,395
I doubt it,
543
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,650
but any excuse to feel
your cold, cracked lips on mine.
544
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,359
[lips smacking]
545
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,110
[laser charging]
546
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:13,945
[laser fires]
547
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,321
? Ow ?
548
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,406
? If you believe ?
549
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,367
It says "Hubba Hubba."
550
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:20,451
Wait a minute?
551
00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:23,454
Does that mean we love each other?
552
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:25,331
Quick, use more tongue!
553
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,416
Take him to mound town, Korvo!
554
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,293
This doesn't make sci-fi sense.
555
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:30,712
Shut up and kiss me, king.
556
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:34,675
?
557
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,469
? Let's get it on ?
558
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:48,313
? I know you know
what I've been dreaming of ?
559
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,692
? Don't you, baby ?
560
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,243
[rumbling]
561
00:19:56,732 --> 00:19:58,489
[palm squeaking]
562
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,992
Keep doing the nasty. it's working.
563
00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:03,161
? Oh, help me ?
564
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:08,500
? I ain't going away ?
565
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:11,295
? No, I ain't gonna push ?
566
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,838
? I won't push you, baby ?
567
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:16,216
My mind isn't clouded by Buffett music.
568
00:20:16,217 --> 00:20:17,008
[parrot squawks]
569
00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:19,678
? Come on, come on,
come on, come on, darling ?
570
00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,220
? Stop beating 'round the bush ?
571
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,680
Love is back.
572
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:23,974
This is our chance.
573
00:20:23,975 --> 00:20:25,224
[flames whooshing]
574
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:29,604
? Oh, gonna get it on ?
575
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:31,939
? Begging you, baby ?
576
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:32,990
[computer beeping]
577
00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:34,367
Woo-hoo!
578
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:37,195
Alright, you guys can stop now.
579
00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:38,446
? That it's wrong ?
580
00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:39,197
JESSE:
Guys?
581
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,365
Guys?
582
00:20:40,366 --> 00:20:45,077
NARRATOR: A family of aliens
turned the world upside down,
583
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:48,707
but that same family were
the only ones who could save it.
584
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,584
Korvo and Terry
sucked and fucked their way
585
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:54,421
to restoring humanity
through the power of love.
586
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,256
The human uprising was swift and brutal.
587
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:58,966
They called it World War H
588
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,844
which was a little redundant,
but nobody cared.
589
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,388
All parrots and Jimmy Buffett were exiled
590
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,724
to a remote island.
591
00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:08,310
There was just one last thing to do.
592
00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:11,854
? wedding march plays ?
593
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,231
[tires screeching]
594
00:21:13,232 --> 00:21:14,982
[car crashing]
[parrot squawks]
595
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:18,110
? wedding music continues ?
596
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:28,663
?
597
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:30,831
AISHA: Korvo and Terry
would like to welcome you,
598
00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:34,001
their family, friends,
and public domain characters,
599
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:37,004
to the undisputed wedding of the century.
600
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,506
Hell yeah, bitch!
601
00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:41,801
I'm Bigfoot, and this shit is toit!
602
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:43,678
AISHA: Because the ritual
of Shlorpian prayers
603
00:21:43,679 --> 00:21:45,972
has the power
to melt carbon-based life,
604
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:47,682
we'll skip straight to the vows.
605
00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:48,516
Korvo?
606
00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:50,601
Terry, you were randomly assigned
to me at the brink
607
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,562
of our home planet's destruction.
608
00:21:52,563 --> 00:21:54,814
I probably would've picked
anyone else given the chance,
609
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:55,815
but I would've robbed myself
610
00:21:55,816 --> 00:21:58,067
of the greatest mission partner
an alien could want.
611
00:21:58,068 --> 00:21:59,485
I love you.
612
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,988
Perhaps it's fate
that today is Valentine's Day,
613
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:04,824
since you will once again
be taking my heart,
614
00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:07,702
not from tyranny,
oppression, or persecution,
615
00:22:07,703 --> 00:22:09,412
but from annihilation.
616
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:12,248
Today, the 14th of February,
will no longer be known
617
00:22:12,249 --> 00:22:13,749
as an American holiday
618
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,878
but as the day when the world
declared in one voice,
619
00:22:16,879 --> 00:22:19,213
we will not go quietly into the night,
620
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,382
we will not vanish without a fight,
621
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,634
we're going to love on!
622
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:25,553
We are going to marry Korvo!
623
00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:28,515
[audience cheering]
624
00:22:28,516 --> 00:22:30,016
That was beautiful.
625
00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:32,602
AISHA: By the power vested in me
by the Catholic church,
626
00:22:32,603 --> 00:22:33,686
just for today,
627
00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:36,731
I now pronounce you husband and husband.
628
00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:39,108
Okay, go ahead and kiss,
I wanna see this.
629
00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:41,485
[glass shatters]
[audience cheering]
630
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:42,536
[lips smacking]
631
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:49,744
? dramatic theme playing ?
632
00:22:49,745 --> 00:22:54,249
?
633
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:30,911
[mimicking laser fire]
634
00:23:30,961 --> 00:23:35,511
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