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1
00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:12,799
(traffic humming)
2
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,533
(gentle music)
3
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,800
- I'd always enjoyed Christmas
time.
4
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,433
It's a pity circumstances this
time
5
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:45,033
would ruin things completely.
6
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:49,433
But it didn't seem so unusual at
the time.
7
00:00:50,334 --> 00:00:55,101
Well, given where I'd come from, it did of course,
8
00:00:55,101 --> 00:01:00,200
but nothing so extraordinary
in normal-everyday-life terms.
9
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:03,000
Scared.
10
00:01:04,533 --> 00:01:08,967
(chuckles) No, nervous.
11
00:01:09,034 --> 00:01:11,733
Yeah. Not scared. No.
12
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:17,567
(gentle music continues)
13
00:01:22,234 --> 00:01:24,700
(Josh knocks)
14
00:01:27,167 --> 00:01:29,667
(door thumps)
15
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:33,000
- Yeah?
16
00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:34,567
- Hi, I'm Josh.
17
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:36,900
- Yeah?
18
00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:38,300
- Well, I'm here for the...
19
00:01:39,401 --> 00:01:40,333
Have I come to the right place?
20
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,001
- Well, you tell me, dickhead.
21
00:01:42,034 --> 00:01:43,135
You're the one who knocked on my
door.
22
00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:45,800
- Well, I'm here for the
interview, for the house share.
23
00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:48,367
Maybe I have come to the wrong
place.
24
00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:49,267
- Oh, it's you.
25
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:51,367
You're late.
26
00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:53,600
- Sorry. They didn't
let me out until late.
27
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:54,934
- Have you been in the nick?
28
00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:56,000
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
29
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,934
God no, no, no.
30
00:01:57,967 --> 00:01:59,267
I've been at the hospital.
31
00:02:05,234 --> 00:02:07,366
- What, are you waiting
for, a royal invitation?
32
00:02:11,967 --> 00:02:14,700
(peaceful music)
33
00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,967
- It's wrong to make
judgements of others, isn't it?
34
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,733
Judging a book by its cover, and
all that.
35
00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:25,400
We all do it, though.
36
00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:27,667
I'm sure you have some fancy
name for it.
37
00:02:27,701 --> 00:02:30,467
Some sort of social
conditioning.
38
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:35,100
But, when the cover is
a football violence,
39
00:02:35,133 --> 00:02:36,200
or white power,
40
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,600
(teapot clanks)
41
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,234
it's not easy to look past that
42
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,100
(tense music)
43
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:42,300
and look inside.
44
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:43,900
- Have your house shared before?
45
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:49,766
- Kind of, with my partner, my
ex-partner.
46
00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:51,734
He and I shared.
47
00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:52,833
- He and I?
48
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,900
Are you gay?
49
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:57,300
- Yeah. Is that a problem?
50
00:02:59,867 --> 00:03:01,333
- You haven't met Connor yet.
51
00:03:04,866 --> 00:03:05,666
Milk?
52
00:03:05,699 --> 00:03:06,966
- Oh. No, no, no. Thanks.
53
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,167
I'm vegan.
54
00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:10,233
(dish clanks)
55
00:03:10,266 --> 00:03:12,566
- You must be Josh.
56
00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,100
I'm Connor.
57
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:17,967
- Nice hat.
58
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,733
- Thank you.
59
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,699
It's a Ascot special.
60
00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:26,966
So, how's things?
61
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:27,833
- He's vegan.
62
00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:32,066
(fan clicks)
63
00:03:32,066 --> 00:03:32,933
- Oh.
64
00:03:33,966 --> 00:03:36,099
Oh, well. I'm sorry.
65
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:39,167
- What? That's it?
66
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,134
You mean I don't make the
mark because I'm vegan?
67
00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:43,700
- Well, I'm not trying
to be racist or anything,
68
00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:45,134
but you're gonna get offended
69
00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:47,466
if there's, like, bacon
or steak in the fridge.
70
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,100
- Are you gonna try and convert
us?
71
00:03:49,134 --> 00:03:51,467
- No, no, no, no, no,
no, no. Of course, not.
72
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,399
Like, it was more my ex's idea
than...
73
00:03:54,199 --> 00:03:56,266
I won't try and convert you.
74
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:01,833
Tell me, what do you guys do?
75
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:08,067
- I'm a voice artist.
76
00:04:08,134 --> 00:04:10,667
- [Josh] Nice. What sort
of things do you voice?
77
00:04:10,734 --> 00:04:13,401
- You know, the usual.
78
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:18,434
Adverts, jingles,
impersonations.
79
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:20,267
You wanna see my Robert De Niro?
80
00:04:23,234 --> 00:04:26,333
"A man's gotta do what a man's
gotta do."
81
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,467
- That wasn't De Niro, you dick.
82
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,667
That was Bruce Wayne.
83
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,034
- It was John.
84
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:31,234
- It was terrible whatever it
was.
85
00:04:31,268 --> 00:04:32,068
- It was De Niro in "Taxi
Driver".
86
00:04:32,102 --> 00:04:33,701
What you talking about?
- It was John.
87
00:04:33,735 --> 00:04:34,667
- You said it different.
- Yes, of course I have.
88
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,200
Are you stupid?
- It was John.
89
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,335
- What?
90
00:04:37,368 --> 00:04:40,033
- It was John Wayne. Not
Bruce Wayne. That's Batman.
91
00:04:41,534 --> 00:04:43,400
Look, anyway, it doesn't matter.
92
00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:45,200
Rex, what about you? What do you
do?
93
00:04:48,467 --> 00:04:50,467
- I'm a delivery driver.
94
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:51,600
- (snickers) Good one.
95
00:04:53,634 --> 00:04:58,633
- So, it's just 650 for
the rent, right? Monthly?
96
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,133
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
97
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,300
- What about you?
98
00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:04,333
What do you do?
99
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:07,167
- Oh, I work in sales.
100
00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:09,433
Nothing very interesting.
101
00:05:09,466 --> 00:05:10,700
(curious music)
102
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:13,300
(fan clicking)
103
00:05:15,933 --> 00:05:19,000
- Anyway, it was nice meeting
you.
104
00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:20,033
- No look, please,
105
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:22,334
I'd make the perfect housemate.
106
00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:25,300
I'm clean. I'm quiet. I can do-
107
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:27,166
- Look, honey. I'm sure you are.
108
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,467
But we just don't think
109
00:05:28,534 --> 00:05:29,767
you're gonna be a great fit for
us.
110
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,067
- I can cook.
111
00:05:31,134 --> 00:05:32,634
I'll keep this place looking
really tidy.
112
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,000
- Are you saying it's a mess?
113
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,300
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no.
114
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,433
Of course, look. It's already
amazing.
115
00:05:38,501 --> 00:05:40,600
Look, you won't have to
worry about me messing it up.
116
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:41,466
That's all.
117
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,333
Guys, please. I really need
somewhere.
118
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,767
I don't have anywhere else to
go.
119
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,333
- Well, what happened to your
last place?
120
00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:51,967
- Ended a little abruptly.
121
00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:54,666
My partner, my ex-partner, he...
122
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,600
Look, I just couldn't stay there another minute.
123
00:05:57,666 --> 00:05:58,667
- Oh yeah, yeah.
124
00:05:58,701 --> 00:06:00,433
You are one dead dog
away from a country song.
125
00:06:00,499 --> 00:06:02,300
- You did ask.
126
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:05,633
Look guys, my work is literally
right around the corner,
127
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:09,400
and you guys seem nice, and-
128
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:11,033
- Where do you work?
129
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:12,366
- JP Motor Sales.
130
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,299
- Oh, you sell cars?
131
00:06:15,299 --> 00:06:17,833
- Secondhand. But, yeah.
132
00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:21,433
- You know what?
133
00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:23,133
No wonder you're a salesman.
134
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,433
You put up a really good
argument.
135
00:06:25,466 --> 00:06:27,333
We'd love for you to be our
housemate!
136
00:06:27,366 --> 00:06:28,833
- Really?
- Yeah.
137
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,367
Room is furnished.
138
00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:32,367
- Well, the closet's a little
small,
139
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,866
but I presume you no longer need
it.
140
00:06:34,899 --> 00:06:35,699
- Ignore him.
141
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:36,966
- No, I don't have much.
142
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:37,799
Just this.
143
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,367
(uneasy music)
144
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,100
And that's where the whole thing
started.
145
00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:45,233
Regrets? No.
146
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,133
Apart from the obvious, of
course.
147
00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:52,866
(gentle music)
148
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,900
(gentle music continues)
149
00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:42,667
(gentle music continues)
150
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:02,933
(gentle music continues)
151
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:07,533
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