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♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,822 --> 00:00:08,056
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:11,627
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:14,646
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:18,167
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,486
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,082
♪ All the things
that make us
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00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,856
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:29,628
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,246
Hurry, Brian,
they're gaining on us!
11
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:50,021
Damn it, we're surrounded!
12
00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:56,955
Crap, they got away.
13
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:58,457
Better call the boss.
14
00:01:00,043 --> 00:01:02,711
Damn, I'm not getting
a smoke signal here.
15
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,900
Damn it, Stewie, what
the hell did you do?
16
00:01:14,924 --> 00:01:16,241
I know, I know, I messed up.
17
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,988
"I messed up."
You went back to
17th-century Jamestown
18
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,524
and you gave
guns to the Indians.
19
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:21,675
And now they're
running everything!
20
00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:23,431
I said, I messed up, all right?
21
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,134
I guess I just have
this pathological
need to be liked.
22
00:01:26,203 --> 00:01:27,313
Well, it's not a good trait.
23
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,370
Aw, come on.
Don't say that.
24
00:01:29,439 --> 00:01:30,839
Let me buy you lunch.
25
00:01:30,908 --> 00:01:32,786
Thanks to you,
the Indians killed
all the white people
26
00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:34,109
and took over America.
27
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:35,488
I mean, you're the one
who's always saying,
28
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,112
"Never alter the past."
29
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,932
Oh, come on,
Brian, let's be honest.
I frequently alter the past.
30
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,752
All right, so, I guess
we'll split the bill 13 ways?
31
00:01:43,821 --> 00:01:46,488
Hey, Judas, he ordered,
like, five margaritas.
32
00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:48,623
All you had was a salad.
33
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,196
You know,
it actually looks like
the Native Americans
34
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,631
have done all right
for themselves.
35
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,535
They do seem to
have a lot of shops.
36
00:02:10,247 --> 00:02:12,531
And it looks like they have
medical care as well.
37
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,017
Ma'am, I'm sorry,
but I've done this
38
00:02:15,085 --> 00:02:18,053
several times today,
and your husband
just isn't responding.
39
00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:19,838
Well, have you tried this?
40
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:22,074
Ma'am, this is
a place of medicine.
41
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,158
And their popular
music is interesting.
42
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:26,612
And here it is,
the number one song
43
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,214
for the 10,000th week in a row,
44
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,882
"Huya-Huya-Huya!"
45
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:33,685
♪ Huya-Huya-Huya-Huya
46
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,554
♪ Huya-Huya-Huya-Huya ♪
47
00:02:36,607 --> 00:02:37,807
Well, no matter.
48
00:02:37,841 --> 00:02:39,352
We better restore things
to the way they were.
49
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,388
Let's go back to
Jamestown and undo...
50
00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,872
Oh, dear.
What? What is it?
51
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,096
The return pad.
52
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,994
Looks like it
took some bullets
during our escape.
53
00:02:48,018 --> 00:02:49,579
Doesn't seem to be working.
54
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:50,652
Hmm.
55
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,766
What? What is that?
What is that, "Hmm"?
56
00:02:52,790 --> 00:02:54,155
What are you looking for?
57
00:02:54,224 --> 00:02:56,558
What are you looking
for specifically?
58
00:02:56,627 --> 00:02:57,827
Yeah, that's right.
59
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,522
But I'm afraid our only hope
60
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,825
is that perhaps the
alternate Stewie in this
universe has created
61
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,659
his own time machine
that we can use.
62
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,728
Well, let's hope so,
because otherwise
they're gonna kill us.
63
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:09,112
Yeah, or stick us
on some kind of white
people reservation.
64
00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:11,874
Don't give them any money.
65
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:15,222
They're just
gonna spend it all
on deviled eggs.
66
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,880
Well, there's my brave warrior.
67
00:03:24,922 --> 00:03:26,238
How was work today?
68
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,489
Oh, it was so annoying.
69
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:28,885
Everyone was coming around
with their daughters,
70
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,275
selling Girl Scout corn.
71
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:32,928
Made me feel so guilty,
I had to buy, like, 20 ears.
72
00:03:32,997 --> 00:03:35,592
Hey, shot in the dark,
but is anyone else
in the mood
73
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,694
to run really fast
in one direction?
74
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:40,118
Go away.
We're trying to
watch I Love Liquor.
75
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,912
Look, there it is!
76
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,221
And it looks like he
has a return pad, too.
77
00:03:53,249 --> 00:03:55,027
All right, come on.
Let's get back to Jamestown
78
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:56,501
and set things right.
79
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,999
Look, there you are
giving them the guns!
80
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,245
What the hell are
you doing there?
81
00:04:13,269 --> 00:04:14,781
You told me you were
checking on the horses.
82
00:04:14,805 --> 00:04:17,205
Well, she's a sizeable woman.
That's what I meant.
83
00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,239
All right, come on.
We've got to get
those guns back.
84
00:04:25,282 --> 00:04:28,133
Hey, hi, how are you today?
Good to see you.
85
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:31,670
Listen, uh, we've just
been informed that these
guns are defective.
86
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,404
Uh, we're from the gun company.
87
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:37,242
Um, anyway, you know
how we like to take things
back from you people?
88
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,355
Well, we're gonna go ahead
and take these back.
89
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,962
That's right.
We're from GunCo.
90
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:42,296
Shut up, you're blowing it.
91
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,149
Where you taking guns?
92
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:45,717
Brian, grab the return pad!
93
00:04:47,104 --> 00:04:48,720
Get 'um, Paleface!
94
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,592
They're gone.
We can talk normal now.
95
00:04:59,183 --> 00:05:00,626
Well, everything
looks like it should.
96
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:01,883
Only one way to be certain.
97
00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:03,584
Okay, let's do
a quick search here.
98
00:05:03,653 --> 00:05:05,420
Native American role models.
99
00:05:06,189 --> 00:05:07,255
"Zero results found."
100
00:05:07,324 --> 00:05:08,523
Looks like we did it, Brian.
101
00:05:08,592 --> 00:05:09,825
Ah, thank God!
102
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,571
Hey, what are you gonna do
with all those guns?
103
00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:13,728
I don't know, sell 'em
to some fucked up kid?
104
00:05:18,835 --> 00:05:20,335
What the hell is that?
105
00:05:21,271 --> 00:05:22,503
Stewie?
106
00:05:26,443 --> 00:05:29,010
Oh, my God!
What are you doing?
107
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,208
This time machine
has almost killed us
a hundred times, Brian.
108
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,432
And yesterday was
just too close a call.
109
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:37,280
So I've decided to get
rid of it before something
irreparable happens.
110
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,470
But, Stewie, your time machine,
111
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,139
it's, like,
your crowning achievement.
112
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,974
I can't believe
you'd just destroy it.
113
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,888
Trust me, Brian,
it's for the best.
114
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,639
And, hey, at least
I've had some fun with it.
115
00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:47,940
Do you know what
I did last week?
116
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,742
I time-traveled
ahead to Christmas
117
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:53,051
so I wouldn't have
to wait all year for
the new toys to come out.
118
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,836
Wow, good timing, little fella.
119
00:05:54,904 --> 00:05:56,271
This just came out today.
120
00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:58,551
Yeah, I kind of
knew that already.
121
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,120
Would you like to
donate an extra dollar
122
00:06:00,144 --> 00:06:01,409
to the Quahog Food Bank?
123
00:06:01,478 --> 00:06:02,877
Oh, sure.
124
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,790
And would you
like to come home
and clean my toilet,
125
00:06:04,814 --> 00:06:07,174
while we're both doing
stuff for each other?
126
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,962
Well, I guess that's it.
127
00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:22,664
This is like the end of an era.
128
00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:25,416
Oh, sack up, you twink.
It's just a machine.
129
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,113
God, look at all
the perfectly good stuff
130
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,914
that people just
throw out for no reason.
131
00:06:28,938 --> 00:06:30,850
I don't know.
It's mostly
twin mattresses.
132
00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:32,252
If you have a twin mattress,
133
00:06:32,276 --> 00:06:34,287
aren't you pretty much
a failure as a human being?
134
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,606
No, I mean it.
Like, here, look at
this street hockey net.
135
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,013
It's in great shape.
136
00:06:38,081 --> 00:06:39,942
You know, we should
take this home and
set it up.
137
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,600
Get some fresh air,
get some exercise.
138
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,246
Well, I suppose I could
use a new hobby
139
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,647
now that the time
machine is gone.
140
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,198
You sure you're not
gonna miss that thing?
141
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,900
Nah, I was getting
bored of it anyway.
142
00:06:47,924 --> 00:06:49,568
You know, not every
historical event
143
00:06:49,592 --> 00:06:51,187
is all it's cracked up to be.
144
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,595
Women, we've spent
decades fighting
for our right to vote.
145
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,377
So, when you go
to those booths
and cast your ballot,
146
00:06:57,401 --> 00:07:01,602
remember, Warren G. Harding
is way the cutest!
147
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:07,659
♪ Oh, girls just
want to have fun ♪
148
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,480
Okay, Brian, I'm just
putting this out there,
but I'm a baby,
149
00:07:12,549 --> 00:07:14,849
and only dicks
don't let babies win.
150
00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:16,696
God, look at this day, huh?
151
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,798
You know, usually, I'd
be sitting inside writing,
152
00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:20,299
you'd be working on
one of your machines.
153
00:07:20,323 --> 00:07:22,267
But here we are enjoying it.
154
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:23,925
Yes, it is a nice
change of pace.
155
00:07:23,994 --> 00:07:25,660
Oh, wait, I got to
go grab my knee pads.
156
00:07:25,729 --> 00:07:28,596
I was using them
for this other thing.
157
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,131
Anyway, I'll be right back.
158
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,420
Brian, look out!
159
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,309
Ah, Brian!
160
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,394
Oh, my God!
161
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,781
Brian! Brian,
can you hear me?
162
00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:49,417
Holy crap!
What the hell happened?
163
00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:51,686
That guy sucked.
164
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,996
Mom, is Brian gonna be okay?
165
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,197
I don't know, Meg.
166
00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,433
But this is the best
veterinarian in Quahog.
167
00:08:05,502 --> 00:08:07,736
Brian's getting
the finest care there is.
168
00:08:07,804 --> 00:08:10,004
He had to share
the ambulance
with a chicken.
169
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:13,268
Um, aren't you supposed
to be running around?
170
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:14,592
Don't talk to me.
171
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,578
You have a bad reputation
in the chicken community.
172
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,863
Doctor, how is Brian?
173
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,515
Is he gonna be okay?
174
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,217
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Griffin,
but Brian's injuries
175
00:08:23,287 --> 00:08:25,820
are just too severe
for us to save him.
176
00:08:25,889 --> 00:08:27,433
I don't know how
much longer he has,
177
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:30,258
but I suggest
that you all go in
and say your goodbyes.
178
00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:47,893
Oh, my God!
179
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,327
Brian, no!
180
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:52,129
I can't believe it.
You're really...
181
00:08:52,182 --> 00:08:54,165
Damn it, Brian, you can't die!
182
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:56,200
We were gonna do
so many things together.
183
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,002
We were gonna
become windsurfers.
184
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,448
I was gonna be
a little better than you,
185
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,406
but we were both gonna be good!
186
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:06,494
You guys, I think Brian's
trying to say something!
187
00:09:06,563 --> 00:09:10,548
You've given me
a wonderful life.
188
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,151
I love you all.
189
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:23,361
I'm sorry, he's gone.
190
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,146
Oh, my God, he's...
191
00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:28,350
Yes, Chris, I'm afraid...
192
00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:31,353
I'm afraid that
our Brian is dead!
193
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,902
Guys, I'm gonna need a few
minutes alone upstairs.
194
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:06,354
I got to do, like, a sad yank.
195
00:10:07,757 --> 00:10:09,124
Stupid street hockey.
196
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,270
I wish we never
went to that dump.
197
00:10:11,294 --> 00:10:12,777
Oh, this is all my fault.
198
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,613
I'm the one who had to throw
away the damn time machine.
199
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,015
Wait a minute. That's it!
200
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,183
I've just got to rebuild
the time machine,
201
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,212
and then I can go
back and save Brian!
202
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,941
Oh, happy birthday, Neil!
203
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,563
Stewie! How are you?
204
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,644
Oh, not well, Yusuf.
I need your help.
205
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,812
I have to track down
a titanium capacitor
206
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,304
for a high-wattage mainframe
I'm going to construct.
207
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,971
Titanium capacitors?
208
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,574
Sorry, there's no way
to get those anymore.
209
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,338
What do you mean?
You've gotten
them for me before.
210
00:10:45,362 --> 00:10:48,980
I know, but the one guy
who made those drew
a doodle of Mohammed,
211
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,915
so he's not around anymore.
212
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,650
He wasn't even
doing it on purpose,
213
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,952
just absentmindedly
while talking on the phone.
214
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:58,056
But it was Mohammed,
so, you know.
215
00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,574
Oh, that's awful.
216
00:10:59,642 --> 00:11:01,904
Okay, Yusuf, thanks, anyway.
217
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,145
Oh, dear, Rupert,
without those capacitors,
218
00:11:04,214 --> 00:11:05,547
it'll be completely impossible
219
00:11:05,615 --> 00:11:07,949
to build a functioning
time machine.
220
00:11:08,017 --> 00:11:11,585
I guess that means Brian
is really gone for good.
221
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,624
Thank you so much
for coming, guys.
222
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,959
Brian would be
very thankful
that you're here.
223
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,149
No problem, Lois.
224
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,945
You know, I usually
don't come to funerals.
225
00:11:26,969 --> 00:11:28,202
Since I'm a cop,
226
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,005
I always wind up getting hit
by a black woman with a purse.
227
00:11:31,074 --> 00:11:33,052
You find the man
who did this.
Uh, ma'am,
228
00:11:33,076 --> 00:11:34,153
what's your
relationship
to Brian?
229
00:11:34,177 --> 00:11:35,626
You bring him to justice!
230
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,856
You make sure
this angel child
didn't die for nothing!
231
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,024
Ma'am, Brian's a dog.
232
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,915
You show the world
why you became a cop!
233
00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:42,333
Okay.
234
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,685
Where's Dad?
We're going to
be starting soon.
235
00:11:44,754 --> 00:11:47,939
Oh, he's here.
He just insisted on being
the mysterious man
236
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:51,127
who watches the funeral
from across the street
in the rain.
237
00:11:53,496 --> 00:11:55,558
Then he's going
to be the rich guy
in the limo
238
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:58,500
who drives by the funeral
and shows no emotion.
239
00:12:04,374 --> 00:12:06,368
And now he's gonna be
the old platoon mate
240
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,321
who comes to pay his respects.
241
00:12:08,345 --> 00:12:13,347
I decided to be the
mistress who no one knew
about till now, instead.
242
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,699
Thank you, everyone,
for coming today.
243
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,670
None of you people
came to my funeral!
244
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,641
I know Peter wanted
to say a few words.
245
00:12:25,761 --> 00:12:27,862
Oh, boy, this is, um...
246
00:12:27,931 --> 00:12:31,315
This is probably
the worst pain I've
ever had to go through,
247
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,918
and I've sprained
my ankle twice.
248
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,120
Um...
249
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,487
The truth is,
250
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,623
Brian wasn't just my dog.
251
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,425
He was my best friend
in the whole world.
252
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,895
He was smart, he was loyal,
253
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:47,265
and I guess what
I'm trying to say is
254
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,878
he was like a brother to me.
255
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:52,870
And I'm gonna spend
the rest of my
life missing him.
256
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,241
We're all gonna miss him, Peter.
257
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,577
We're all gonna
miss him very much.
258
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,516
Damn it, Ortiz.
Stop swinging at junk.
259
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,482
My God, I almost
served Brian again.
260
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,717
I can't believe he's been
gone a whole month.
261
00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:41,497
Can we at least get
rid of the doggie door
262
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,482
so Chris doesn't keep
getting stuck in it?
263
00:13:43,506 --> 00:13:46,190
Every day I get
a little further in.
264
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:49,427
You know, I hate to say it,
but I'm starting to
think the only way
265
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,663
to stop missing Brian
is to get a new dog.
266
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,333
Or do we all get
Ghostbuster jumpsuits
267
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,578
with our names on them?
268
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,169
Who you gonna call?
269
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,803
The Griffins.
270
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,139
I'm serious, Peter.
271
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,307
I know it might take time
to find the right dog,
272
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,209
but I really feel
like it might be
273
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,128
the best way for us to move on.
274
00:14:07,197 --> 00:14:09,174
Yeah, Dad.
That would be nice.
275
00:14:09,198 --> 00:14:11,299
All right, well, I guess
it couldn't hurt to look.
276
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:13,117
Really? Another dog?
277
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,830
Look, I miss Brian
more than any of you,
278
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,265
but at least now
no one's forcing us
279
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,840
to watch those awful
PBS documentaries.
280
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:22,777
And now PBS presents
Albino Children Are Normal.
281
00:14:22,846 --> 00:14:26,164
So, with the exception
of not being able to go
out in the sun,
282
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,565
you're completely normal?
283
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,700
Yes. The moon is my sun.
284
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,369
I like to kill beetles.
285
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,304
Beetles are teachers.
286
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,973
I sleep with a fork.
287
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:44,377
All right, guys,
time to find a
new family dog.
288
00:14:44,401 --> 00:14:46,746
Hey, Chris,
you're kind of a creep.
You should get a ferret.
289
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,369
You're right, I am.
290
00:14:48,438 --> 00:14:49,637
And I will!
291
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,958
I don't know how to choose
between all these dogs.
292
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:55,509
Hey, you, green pants.
293
00:14:55,578 --> 00:14:57,589
I hear you're
looking for a dog
or something.
294
00:14:57,613 --> 00:15:00,113
Oh, finally, someone
who sounds like they
went to college.
295
00:15:00,182 --> 00:15:01,660
Hi, I'm Peter.
Vinny.
296
00:15:01,684 --> 00:15:03,351
Oh, Vinny, like the Pooh.
297
00:15:03,419 --> 00:15:05,553
Hey, that's kind of cool.
So, what's your story?
298
00:15:05,621 --> 00:15:07,701
Well, you know,
I'm just a regular guy.
299
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,585
You throw a stick,
maybe I bring it back.
300
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:12,421
Maybe I bring back
an iPhone that
fell off a truck.
301
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,094
Well, let me ask you this.
302
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,375
What's your stance on
the music all the kids
are listening to today?
303
00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,966
I'm a little surprised
you even call it music.
304
00:15:19,034 --> 00:15:21,213
So, what do you say?
You want me as your dog?
305
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:23,020
Yeah, I think I do!
306
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,451
Hey, just out of curiosity,
what breed are you?
307
00:15:26,475 --> 00:15:28,475
Actually, I'm a pussy hound.
308
00:15:28,544 --> 00:15:30,044
Really? All right!
309
00:15:30,112 --> 00:15:32,280
That just means I'm
one-sixteenth cat.
310
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,508
Oh, I wish you
hadn't told me that.
311
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,691
Well, Vinny,
welcome to our home.
312
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:45,637
All right, this is good.
313
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:47,194
This is good.
314
00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:49,741
Hey, you guys got a good
banging-broads couch,
you know that?
315
00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:51,365
Vinny, you must be starving.
316
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:52,733
What can I make you for dinner?
317
00:15:52,801 --> 00:15:54,968
Are you kidding?
You're a hardworking lady.
318
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:57,049
So, tonight, I'm gonna
make you dinner.
319
00:15:57,073 --> 00:15:58,172
Wow.
320
00:15:58,241 --> 00:15:59,774
Well, thank you, Vinny.
321
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,321
Whoa, whoa, hang on, Lois.
You promised me
we were all eating
322
00:16:02,345 --> 00:16:03,894
my Play-Doh pasta tonight.
323
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,730
Oh, Stewie,
did you make something?
324
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,333
Mmm, oh, it's so yummy.
325
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,647
Mmm. Num, num,
num, num, num.
326
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,887
You better mean
those "nums."
327
00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:15,484
Hey, you, what's your name?
328
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,540
Chris.
329
00:16:16,593 --> 00:16:18,470
How about I call you Hat Boy?
330
00:16:18,494 --> 00:16:19,627
Hell yeah!
331
00:16:19,696 --> 00:16:20,944
Lower your voice, Chris.
332
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,696
It's Hat Boy, bitch!
333
00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:23,998
Wow, look at you, Vinny.
334
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,694
It's like you're
already part
of the family.
335
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,946
I don't know, fat man,
I think you're
jumping the gun.
336
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:30,337
I mean, crucifixion seemed
great at first, too.
337
00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:32,618
Why are you doing that?
338
00:16:32,642 --> 00:16:33,974
'Cause I'm mad at this guy.
339
00:16:34,043 --> 00:16:36,087
I'm mad at this jar of
pickles I can't open.
340
00:16:36,111 --> 00:16:37,178
Nail it up.
341
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,495
Hey, guys, I want you to
meet our new dog, Vinny.
342
00:16:43,519 --> 00:16:45,414
Vinny, this is Joe and Quagmire.
343
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,582
Hey, Vinny.
How you doing?
344
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,168
Real good.
Hey, so I hear
you're a cop.
345
00:16:49,192 --> 00:16:50,903
That's right.
Hey, that's great.
346
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,471
Maybe sometime you could take me
347
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:54,606
on a ride-along with you,
show me the neighborhood.
348
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:57,331
Yeah, I don't take
people out on
ride-alongs anymore.
349
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,883
I had a bad
experience
with Grimace.
350
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:06,391
I got to be honest,
I can't get
a bead on you, man.
351
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,682
What can I get you gentlemen?
352
00:17:14,751 --> 00:17:16,562
Hey, Jerome.
Just another
round of beers.
353
00:17:16,586 --> 00:17:17,685
You got it.
354
00:17:17,754 --> 00:17:19,899
You guys let a
handle your drinks.
355
00:17:19,923 --> 00:17:22,163
Okay, we're gonna
have to work on that.
356
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,738
Oh, boy, Vinny, hanging out
with you has been the best.
357
00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:27,822
You want another beer?
358
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:28,879
No.
359
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,147
I'd love one!
360
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,363
What? What? The first
thing you said was...
361
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,752
Oh, my God!
362
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:38,783
You're on...
You're, like, on
another level, Vinny!
363
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,592
Congratulations.
You've won over
a complete imbecile.
364
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,344
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
365
00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:46,024
Did you just speak ill
of the man who busts
his tail providing for you?
366
00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:48,382
He spent my college fund
on puppet clothes.
367
00:17:48,451 --> 00:17:50,596
Hey, don't get
fresh with me,
Estudio.
368
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:51,936
That's not my name.
369
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,071
That's not even
an Italian version
of my name.
370
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:57,308
Whatever.
Don't you and your boyfriend
have to be in Vermont by now?
371
00:17:57,376 --> 00:17:59,243
He's not my boyfriend.
Hey, shut up.
372
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,056
Hey, Vinny,
you want to see
a puppet show?
373
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,320
They all got leather jackets!
374
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:05,049
God, what a jerk.
375
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:07,930
If this guy thinks
he's sticking around,
he's sorely mistaken.
376
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,253
I'm going to ruin him.
377
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,322
Just like I ruined
that magician's act.
378
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,527
People, people, people.
379
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,512
This man drives a Saturn.
380
00:18:23,385 --> 00:18:25,969
All right, Rupert,
once this skunk sprays Vinny,
381
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,939
Lois and the fat
man will want him out
of the house immediately.
382
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:34,028
Hey! Oh! Oh!
Hey! Hey! Oh! Again!
383
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,967
Hey, Ma. Remember,
I told you, one day I'd
be swimming in marinara?
384
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,737
Ma! Ma, turn down the TV.
385
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,337
All right, Rupert,
I've been left
with no choice.
386
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,628
I'm going to tell
Vinny so much bad news
387
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:51,874
about Italian-Americans
388
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,014
that he goes
into cardiac arrest.
389
00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:56,534
Vinny, there you are.
I have some terrible news.
390
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,670
Sal Annuncio's kid was
killed by a falling piano!
391
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:03,123
Oh! How could this happen?
The kid was an honors student!
392
00:19:03,192 --> 00:19:05,225
He just applied to SUNY Albany.
393
00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:07,439
He just got into SUNY Albany.
394
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:10,798
Oh,
this is too much, Stewie.
I can't take it.
395
00:19:10,867 --> 00:19:12,450
Oh, my God, it's working.
396
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,970
Hey, Vinny, Bobby
Lammaduro's kid just
got out of the hospital.
397
00:19:16,038 --> 00:19:17,738
He beat the cancer!
398
00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:19,506
Oh, thank heavens.
399
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,009
Big man in the sky
knows what he's doing.
400
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:23,972
Chris, what are you doing?
401
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,597
Call me a creep,
you piece of crap!
402
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,652
Hey, Doonesbury,
403
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,088
how about a joke that ain't
for fancy millionaires?
404
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,334
Stewie, what's with
the waterworks?
405
00:19:47,402 --> 00:19:49,302
Oh, um, um...
I just...
406
00:19:49,371 --> 00:19:51,672
I realized I paid too
much for my muffler.
407
00:19:51,741 --> 00:19:53,318
Come on, kid, quit crying.
408
00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:55,053
You're gonna get
your pants wrinkled.
409
00:19:55,077 --> 00:19:56,560
What's the matter?
410
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,024
Fine.
Do you want to know
what's the matter?
411
00:19:59,048 --> 00:20:00,347
You're the matter.
412
00:20:00,415 --> 00:20:02,582
Everyone in this family
is so damn thrilled with you,
413
00:20:02,652 --> 00:20:04,451
they've forgotten
all about Brian.
414
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,786
Well, I'm not thrilled.
415
00:20:05,855 --> 00:20:07,821
I'll never forget Brian.
416
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,657
He was my best friend.
417
00:20:09,725 --> 00:20:12,626
You're not supposed to lose
your best friend at my age.
418
00:20:12,695 --> 00:20:15,212
You're not supposed
to lose him ever!
419
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:18,199
Look, Stewie, I know it
doesn't seem like it now,
420
00:20:18,267 --> 00:20:19,600
but you're gonna be okay.
421
00:20:19,669 --> 00:20:21,201
Yeah, right.
How do you know?
422
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:25,506
Because, I once had a thing
happen to me with some stuff.
423
00:20:25,574 --> 00:20:28,275
Really? That's
what's happening to me.
Stuff.
424
00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:30,572
You know, before you guys
found me at the shop,
425
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,307
I lived with
an old man named Leo.
426
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,732
It was just him and me,
in a tiny apartment,
427
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,099
and we got pretty tight.
428
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,179
He kind of became
my whole world.
429
00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:41,322
By the time he passed away,
it was real tough.
430
00:20:41,391 --> 00:20:43,357
So, how did he die?
431
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,304
He tried to go to a yoga class,
432
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:48,462
and on the first pose,
his ball sack split in half.
433
00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:50,497
Really?
Yeah, it was on Dateline.
434
00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:51,676
It was a whole thing.
435
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,935
Anyway, I guess Leo
was kind of like my Brian.
436
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,670
Well, so, how'd
you get over him?
437
00:20:56,739 --> 00:20:59,206
Well, I met your
family in the pet store.
438
00:20:59,274 --> 00:21:01,286
When I saw you guys
looking for a dog,
439
00:21:01,310 --> 00:21:02,988
I kind of sensed you
were all going through
440
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,090
the same feelings
of loss that I was.
441
00:21:05,114 --> 00:21:06,257
And it made me think,
442
00:21:06,281 --> 00:21:08,749
hey, maybe I was
meant to find these guys.
443
00:21:08,818 --> 00:21:11,418
Maybe we were
meant to be together.
444
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:12,919
You know what, Vinny?
445
00:21:12,988 --> 00:21:15,690
I'm starting to think
that may be true.
446
00:21:15,758 --> 00:21:18,459
Bring it in, Stewie.
447
00:21:22,732 --> 00:21:24,677
Hey, Stewie,
now that we're pals,
448
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,344
maybe you can
answer me something.
449
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,903
Why does your living room
smell so much like puke?
450
00:21:28,971 --> 00:21:30,749
Somebody throw up
a lot in there once?
451
00:21:30,773 --> 00:21:33,708
Vinny, my friend,
you got a lot of stories
to catch up on.
452
00:21:33,776 --> 00:21:35,409
I got most of them on DVD.
453
00:21:35,477 --> 00:21:38,395
Oh, cool. Like, by
season and stuff?
454
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:40,514
No, not by season.
455
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,482
Boy, I can't remember
the last time
456
00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:49,334
Stewie fell asleep this early.
457
00:21:49,358 --> 00:21:52,143
Well, I think
the little guy
had a long day.
458
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,456
All right, come on,
time for bed, Vinny.
459
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,881
I'll tell Peter to turn off
the nightlight this time.
460
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,416
No! I need it
for in case there's witches!
461
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:00,985
You know, actually, Lois,
462
00:22:01,054 --> 00:22:03,253
I think I'm gonna sleep
in here with Stewie tonight.
463
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,167
Oh, well, isn't that nice.
464
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:06,473
Sleep tight, you two.
465
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:11,845
Good night, Vinny.
466
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,948
Good night, Stewie.
467
00:22:14,016 --> 00:22:16,049
Hey, you guys know
which room is Peter's?
468
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:17,551
Across the hall.
469
00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:20,320
Ah, it's too bright
in there. Never mind.
35761
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