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♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,955 --> 00:00:08,223
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,291 --> 00:00:11,877
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,963
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:15,031 --> 00:00:18,217
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:21,636
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,705 --> 00:00:23,199
♪ All the things
that make us
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00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:24,890
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:29,911
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:36,985
Good afternoon, Quahog.
11
00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:39,053
Our top story,
price wars are heating up
12
00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:40,755
between all of
the major airlines
13
00:00:40,824 --> 00:00:43,024
and even a couple of
the little crashy ones.
14
00:00:43,093 --> 00:00:46,228
We now go liveto Tricia Takanawawith more on the story.
15
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,631
Tom, I'm standing here
at Boston's Logan Airport,
16
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,478
where some of the same
security people
17
00:00:51,502 --> 00:00:53,245
who let the terrorists
on the plane
18
00:00:53,269 --> 00:00:55,136
are still gainfully employed.
19
00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:56,505
With such low fares,
20
00:00:56,573 --> 00:01:00,708
even those who never fly
are lining up to buy tickets.
21
00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:02,911
Early reports suggest
that this could be
22
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,046
the most profitable
day for airlines
23
00:01:05,115 --> 00:01:06,748
in the last two decades.
24
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,217
I'm Tricia Takanawa.
Back to you, Tom.
25
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:10,486
Hi, Mom.
26
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,254
Hi, Joe.
27
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,983
Wow, Peter, did you hear that?
28
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,341
Low airfares. Why don't
we take a trip?
29
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,378
We never go anywhere anymore.
We're getting stagnant.
30
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,124
What are you talking about?
We go places.
31
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,649
We took that helicopter
tour of Tucson.
32
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:27,502
Wow. I've never seen
so many boats not
near bodies of water.
33
00:01:27,571 --> 00:01:29,637
That park is all concrete.
34
00:01:29,706 --> 00:01:32,574
Look, there's a dog
tied to another dog.
35
00:01:32,642 --> 00:01:35,210
I think that guy with
long hair is a lawyer.
36
00:01:35,279 --> 00:01:38,213
Look at all those students
running for their lives.
37
00:01:38,282 --> 00:01:40,532
Oh, there's
the concrete park again.
38
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,862
Peter, I'm talking
about real travel.
39
00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:45,097
We can finally afford
to go somewhere good.
40
00:01:45,121 --> 00:01:48,001
Joe and Bonnie went
to Europe and had
the time of their lives.
41
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,342
Hey, I know a place
you can go, Lois. Hell.
42
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,205
There, I said it.
Now shut your mouth.
43
00:01:52,229 --> 00:01:56,130
Lois, I hate traveling.
Besides, my passport
picture is awful.
44
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:00,952
Ugh, you look like
a human cigarette.
45
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:04,134
But it's not just
about you, Peter.
Think about the family.
46
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,369
It would be
an amazing experience
for the kids.
47
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:07,938
It would give them some culture.
48
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,522
Lois, the kids can
get all the culture
49
00:02:09,579 --> 00:02:11,112
they need right here in Quahog.
50
00:02:11,181 --> 00:02:13,398
Really? More culture
than Europe?
51
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,178
That's right, and I'm
gonna prove it to you.
52
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:16,901
I got more culture
in my pinkie toe
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00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,603
than all of Europe put together.
54
00:02:33,704 --> 00:02:35,103
Oh, my God!
55
00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:37,906
I got ringworm,
too, but it's not
classy like this.
56
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:44,012
Okay, kids, now this is
the Quahog Museum of Science.
57
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,931
A magical place of
cultural exploration.
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00:02:57,861 --> 00:03:00,979
That sucked.
59
00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:04,244
Now, one thing that makes
us more cultured than our
European counterparts
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00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,667
is high school football.
61
00:03:05,735 --> 00:03:07,914
Then why are we
standing here in
the parking lot?
62
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,582
Because sometimes
your team loses,
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00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,851
and you have to beat up the ref.
64
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,754
What part of
Eatonville you from, huh?
65
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,423
What part of
Eatonville you from?
66
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,930
Ow! West Eatonville.
67
00:03:17,982 --> 00:03:19,041
Oh, really?
West Eatonville?
68
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,331
Do you know Bob Hanley?
69
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,200
I'm Bob Hanley.
No kidding!
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00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,780
Bob, it's me, Peter Griffin.
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00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,804
Oh, my God, how
the hell are you?
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00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,684
I'm doing great.
I'm doing great.
73
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,453
Well, hey, oh, listen.
I was really sorry to
hear about your dad.
74
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:31,877
Oh, that means a lot.
75
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,257
Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't
make it to the wake.
I was out of town.
76
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,080
It's okay.
Thanks for the flowers.
77
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,560
Oh, it's the least I could do.
78
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:40,802
Hey, Chris, get over here.
You got to meet my
buddy Bob Hanley.
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00:03:40,871 --> 00:03:45,924
Hi, Mr. Hanley. I'm Chris.
I heard a lot about you, sir.
80
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:51,991
We now returnto Downton Syndrome.
81
00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:54,081
Well, if I must accept
your proposal
82
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:57,285
in order to break the entail
and save my family's estate,
83
00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:59,454
then yes, I will marry you.
84
00:03:59,523 --> 00:04:01,406
Yay!
85
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,692
Everyone, I've got a surprise.
86
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,394
Whoa! I did not
see that coming.
87
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,463
No, Chris,
I haven't said it yet.
88
00:04:08,532 --> 00:04:10,431
Today was the last
day of the low airfares,
89
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:13,835
and I couldn't let
the opportunity pass, so...
90
00:04:13,904 --> 00:04:16,004
I got us tickets to Italy!
91
00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:17,456
That's amazing, Mom!
92
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:18,918
Lois, is Peter okay with this?
93
00:04:18,942 --> 00:04:21,843
Well, Brian, I haven't
quite told him yet.
94
00:04:21,912 --> 00:04:23,378
But what if he says no?
95
00:04:23,446 --> 00:04:26,314
He can't say no.
I already bought
the tickets.
96
00:04:26,383 --> 00:04:27,460
Tickets for what?
97
00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:29,885
Uh, uh...
Tickets for the, um,
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00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:34,056
the grand opening of
the biggest water park
in all of Rhode Island.
99
00:04:34,124 --> 00:04:36,441
Hmm, well, pardon
my skepticism, Lois,
100
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:40,112
but I didn't read about this
in the latest issue of WaterPark Enthusiast Weekly.
101
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:46,034
Well, they had to,
um, keep it secret.
For fear that, um,
102
00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:49,688
that this new park would
put all other water
parks out of business.
103
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:53,125
Typical Big Water.
Always keeping
the public in the dark.
104
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,971
So this one's bigger
than Raging Waters?
105
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,644
Yeah, Dad.
It's way bigger.
106
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:57,845
How does the boy know?
107
00:04:57,915 --> 00:04:59,742
Because I told him.
108
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,477
I know someone
who helped build it.
109
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,979
Wow, so we really
got an inside track
on this thing.
110
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:05,948
But it can't be bigger
than Six Flags Atlantis.
111
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,224
Oh, it is, Peter, it is.
Because...
112
00:05:09,292 --> 00:05:11,927
it's Seven Flags Atlantis.
113
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,579
That's a whole
flag more of water!
114
00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,164
Get in the car!
115
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,010
Okay, everyone,
put the sunblock on now,
116
00:05:18,034 --> 00:05:20,368
so when we get off the plane,
we go right to the park.
117
00:05:20,437 --> 00:05:21,770
Wait, why are we on a plane?
118
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,117
Uh, you want to beat
the lines, don't you,
Peter?
119
00:05:24,141 --> 00:05:27,542
All right, Brian, enough.
I can't do this anymore.
120
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,095
Peter, we're not
going to a water park.
121
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,762
We're going to Italy.
122
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:34,477
What?
But what about
Seven Flags Atlantis?
123
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,402
Peter, don't be silly.
There's no such place.
124
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,814
This is your captain speaking.
125
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,583
If you look out the left
side of the airplane,
126
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,542
you'll see the very popular
Seven Flags Atlantis.
127
00:05:44,361 --> 00:05:45,544
Aw!
128
00:05:49,066 --> 00:05:51,193
I'm gonna goahead and turn offthe seatbelt sign,
129
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:54,936
so you idiots can allstretch and let the fartfestival begin.
130
00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:56,688
Why are you such a dick, Jim?
131
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,023
I'm just mad about pilot stuff.
132
00:06:05,882 --> 00:06:08,144
I can't believe
you tricked me into
going to Italy.
133
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,468
Peter, our family
could use a trip like this.
134
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,071
Plus, it might be good
for you and me, too.
135
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:16,007
It's the most
romantic country
in the whole world.
136
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,977
And God knows we could
use a little romance
in our marriage.
137
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,239
What are you talking about?
138
00:06:20,263 --> 00:06:22,124
Just the other night
we did that role-playing.
139
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:25,283
Did you like that game
of mysterious intruder, Lois?
140
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:28,920
I told you,
I don't know who you are.
And my name isn't Lois.
141
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,205
Mine is.
142
00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:31,673
Do it again.
143
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,032
Is it true there's
no drinking age here?
144
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,734
And they serve
wine at every meal?
145
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,336
Oh, Meg, nobody
likes a drunky-chunky.
146
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,689
In college, a lot of guys
are gonna make you a dare.
147
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,488
Hey, you know what, guys?
We're six hours ahead here.
148
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,192
I'm gonna call Joe
and tell him the future.
149
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:58,416
Hey, Joe, guess what's
about to happen?
150
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,296
Who is this?
It's Peter.
151
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,154
That's impossible.
Peter died six hours ago.
152
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,606
We can't go back.
153
00:07:14,785 --> 00:07:16,617
Look, kids, this is the Forum,
154
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,820
where the ancient
Romans used to have
their famous political debate.
155
00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:21,667
And this is the Penthouse Forum,
156
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,837
where dirtbags write
letters about boning in
the back of grocery stores.
157
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,561
Well, who wants to see
158
00:07:26,629 --> 00:07:29,442
where the ancients
established the foundation
of our American democracy?
159
00:07:29,466 --> 00:07:31,310
And who wants to hear
a story about a girl
160
00:07:31,334 --> 00:07:34,502
who moved to New York
without any underpants?
161
00:07:34,571 --> 00:07:35,948
I don't know why
we even go places.
162
00:07:35,972 --> 00:07:38,106
We always just end up
reading pornography.
163
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:44,445
We now returnto Italian Star Trek.
164
00:07:44,514 --> 00:07:46,731
I know I supposed
to be-a so logical,
165
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,784
but I get-a so-a steaming a-mad!
166
00:07:49,853 --> 00:07:53,020
Peter, the kids are going
to the Italian circus,
167
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:55,323
so I thought it
might be romantic
168
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,858
if we watched the sunset
from Saint Peter's Basilica.
169
00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,838
You go ahead,
I'm gonna stay here
and get frustrated
170
00:07:59,862 --> 00:08:02,330
with this nonresponsive
hotel TV remote.
171
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,732
Come on! Guide!
172
00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:06,618
I'm pressing "Guide"!
173
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:11,372
Stupid remote's
not doing anything!
174
00:08:16,146 --> 00:08:17,662
Stop what you're doing!
175
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:21,210
Peter, you can't just
sit in front of the TV
the entire vacation.
176
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,612
You know, I'm really
getting tired of you
177
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,380
being such a complete
stick-in-the-mud.
178
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,103
Is that some kind of gay slur?
179
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:29,135
I can't believe it's
too much for you to watch
a sunset with your wife
180
00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:31,437
in one of the most
romantic cities
in the world!
181
00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:33,372
But you know what?
It's probably for the best.
182
00:08:33,396 --> 00:08:35,207
Because you'd just
complain about it!
183
00:08:35,231 --> 00:08:36,948
Well, what do you expect, Lois?
184
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,462
I didn't want to come
here in the first place.
I'd rather be back home.
185
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,753
You know,
I could be riding
seesaw with Joe.
186
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,371
Yay!
187
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,287
Well, I guess we're stuck.
188
00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:49,877
Hang on.
Let me empty this bag.
189
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,897
Yay! Gross.
190
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,926
Fine, you just sit
here on the couch.
191
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,150
I'll go enjoy Italy without you!
192
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,671
God, what the hell's
her problem?
193
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,708
You know, sometimes
I think you forget how lucky
you are to have Lois.
194
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,055
Otherwise, you wouldn't be
acting like such a jerk.
195
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,579
Oh, I'm getting it from you now?
196
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,515
Don't worry about Lois.
She's an American
woman in Italy.
197
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:14,018
She'll go out, kill her
roommate during a sex game,
and then she'll be fine.
198
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,620
She might come back even hotter.
199
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,769
Well, you might
want to look out there.
200
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,341
What the hell's she doing
with that Italian guy?
201
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,498
Hey, guys,
do I got to tip
the gondolier in here?
202
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,218
I, uh, got a little blockage.
203
00:09:30,286 --> 00:09:34,488
♪ I break-a the poops up
204
00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:37,909
♪ In-a little chunks... ♪
205
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:41,362
I wish I had someone special
to share this with.
206
00:09:41,431 --> 00:09:43,547
Let me give you
a tour on-a the Vespa.
207
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,717
I show you all-a
the things I do all day
208
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:47,786
that make-a me smell like this.
209
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,465
Hey, Lois, what
the hell's going on here?
210
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,400
Ah, we're just
having fun, Peter.
211
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,457
Something you
know nothing about.
212
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,011
Oh, man, she really is upset.
213
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,563
Having lady problems,
are you, pal?
214
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:02,728
Dean Martin?
What are you doing here?
I thought you were dead.
215
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:07,121
Well, paesano,
as long as love is
alive in Italy, so am I.
216
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,623
Now, look, buddy,
there's a million
ways to lose a gal,
217
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,993
but there's only one
sure way to get her back.
218
00:10:12,062 --> 00:10:14,479
Turn on the old Italian charm.
219
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:15,748
But I'm not Italian.
220
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,532
Well, you're in Italy,
ain't you?
221
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:19,967
I think so, I haven't
been paying attention.
222
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:24,205
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna ride this
rigatoni into the sky.
223
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,809
♪ Volare ♪
224
00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:33,881
♪ Cantare ♪
225
00:10:38,255 --> 00:10:41,105
♪ Let's fly way up
to the clouds... ♪
226
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,342
Dean, wait!
227
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,096
Hey! Get away from him!
228
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,264
Peter, are you okay?
229
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,633
Brian?
What happened?
230
00:10:52,702 --> 00:10:54,096
I was watching you
from the window.
231
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,597
When Lois pulled
away on that motorcycle,
232
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:57,922
you laid down on the ground
and went to sleep.
233
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:01,176
Well, I'm awake now, Brian.
And I know what
I've got to do.
234
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,822
Well, before you do anything,
for God's sake,
put some clothes on.
235
00:11:03,846 --> 00:11:04,957
Brian, calm down.
236
00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:07,262
In some countries,
this is a compliment.
237
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,218
Mmm. Mmm!
238
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:11,886
Oh, my goodness!
239
00:11:11,955 --> 00:11:14,338
Mmm!
240
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,942
Oh, please, come on.
Is just something
I threw together.
241
00:11:21,297 --> 00:11:23,564
What the hell?
242
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,100
Mi amore!
243
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:30,104
I am here to put
you on a pedestal
with Italian romance.
244
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,841
Look, Peter, showing up here
in that stupid costume isn't
going to win me over.
245
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:37,156
That's because
you lack the passion
of a true Italian.
246
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:39,080
Mi amore!
247
00:11:39,149 --> 00:11:40,497
Peter, stop it.
248
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:42,628
Speak with your heart,
not your mouth.
249
00:11:43,753 --> 00:11:45,119
Ugh, damn it, Peter!
250
00:11:45,188 --> 00:11:47,922
You mean "Pietro."
251
00:11:47,991 --> 00:11:51,609
Well, by the laws of Italy,
I must now kiss
myself passionately.
252
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,980
Peter, are you all right?
253
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,548
Are you kidding? I'm great!
254
00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:01,086
♪ Bouncing around Italia
'Cause I'm a little ball
255
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,822
♪ I can fit wherever,
'cause I am really small ♪
256
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:07,074
And now, the next scene.
257
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,556
Peter, what are we doing here?
258
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:13,380
Lois, I never saw you so happy
259
00:12:13,449 --> 00:12:16,250
as when you were
feeding those birds
at the Trevi Fountain.
260
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,287
So, here's a loaf
of bread and a whole
roomful of pigeons.
261
00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:26,160
Damn it, Peter!
Get them off of me!
262
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,664
Where the hell is
everybody today?
263
00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:32,427
You don't think they
went with that fat guy
in the van?
264
00:12:35,205 --> 00:12:36,887
Peter, put me down!
265
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,589
Lois, to prove my love,
266
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:43,444
I have convinced 20,000 soccer
fans to hold up a romantic
message just for you.
267
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,240
Peter!
Oh, they missed a letter.
268
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:01,396
Okay, I'll admit it,
this is pretty romantic.
269
00:13:01,464 --> 00:13:02,747
Listen, Lois.
270
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,299
I'm sorry for being
such a jerk, all right?
271
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,684
I love you.
272
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,705
I want to have your baby.
273
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:15,142
Peter, not on
a boat. Peter...
274
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:16,611
Oh, Peter...
275
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,391
Come on, Lois,
I got a 90%-er going.
276
00:13:18,415 --> 00:13:21,332
It could go either way.
Let's start making choices.
277
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,700
Oh, Peter...
278
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,603
I love you.
279
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,038
I love you, too.
280
00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:40,051
Wow, Peter, last night
was the best sex
I've ever had.
281
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,352
Me, too.
282
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,165
We haven't done it like that
since we were engaged
283
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:44,500
but allowed to
sleep with other people.
284
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,168
What are you talking about?
285
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,752
The point is,
Italy is the best thing
that ever happened to us.
286
00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:52,363
I know, it's been wonderful.
I wish we never had to leave.
287
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,066
Well, then, let's not.
Let's live here.
288
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,817
What? Peter, but...
289
00:13:56,886 --> 00:13:59,053
But we've built
a life back in Quahog.
290
00:13:59,122 --> 00:14:02,122
Yeah, but you were
right, Lois, we were
stagnating back home.
291
00:14:02,191 --> 00:14:04,441
Let's start a new life,
right here in Italy.
292
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,792
Peter, those were our passports!
293
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,449
We don't need them anymore.
294
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:13,200
Kids, I got an announcement.
295
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,368
He's wearing a rubber.
296
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,838
We're staying in Italy.
We're Italian now.
297
00:14:16,906 --> 00:14:18,806
What?
Are you kidding?
298
00:14:18,874 --> 00:14:22,510
Well, if we're going to be
Italian, I guess we should
start murdering our brothers.
299
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,812
What are you...
300
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,642
You break-a my heart, Chris.
301
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,465
You break-a my heart.
302
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,408
Hey, Peter, what's-a you rush?
303
00:14:42,432 --> 00:14:45,110
I got-a
the most beautiful woman in
the world at home,
304
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,934
and I no wanna keep her waiting.
305
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,370
Hey, Vincenzo,
play me a tune, huh?
306
00:14:52,008 --> 00:14:55,059
Oh, Vincenzo!
Insalata Caprese!
307
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:03,384
Italy. It's 9:00
a.m. and I've already
kissed eight guys twice.
308
00:15:03,452 --> 00:15:05,714
Why-a you looking
at the other babies, huh?
309
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,706
Why you make-a me
do that, Ruperto?
I no wanna do that!
310
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,224
Peter, I know you love it here,
311
00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:12,660
but riding your
bike around town
isn't paying the bills,
312
00:15:12,728 --> 00:15:16,063
and the kids
aren't learning anything
at that Italian school.
313
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:18,177
Look at these big ones, huh?
314
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,255
Is this calculus?
I don't know.
315
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:30,277
I think maybe it's time
to go back to our
real home in Quahog.
316
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,024
But I thought you loved Italy.
317
00:15:32,048 --> 00:15:34,898
And Italian Peter.
And Southern Italian Peter.
318
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,283
Olive oil!
319
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:39,453
I do, but I love
American Peter even more.
320
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,756
Lois is right.
We're barely surviving here.
321
00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:43,569
I mean, you have to give
most of what you earn
322
00:15:43,593 --> 00:15:45,859
to the mafia that
terrorizes this village.
323
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,599
Peter, I think it's
time we all go back home.
324
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:28,186
Of course we have
to leave as soon as I get
an Italian boyfriend.
325
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,499
You know,
I still don't understand
what he does for a living.
326
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,374
He gathers coins from the air
by jumping on mushrooms.
327
00:16:33,443 --> 00:16:35,743
What's so hard to understand?
328
00:16:35,811 --> 00:16:39,480
Hey, Meg, let's go-a
two-player! I got-a
Luigi here, huh?
329
00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:43,016
Hey, Meg-a!
Mario said-a you were
into-a weird-a stuff.
330
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:51,275
So, you see, Mr. Consulate,
all we want to do is get back
to our home in America.
331
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,188
So, can we have our
new passports now?
332
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,124
Mr. Griffin, it's not
as simple as that.
333
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,059
Your family must
take a citizenship test
334
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,660
and go through
the immigration process
335
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,117
like any other foreigner.
336
00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:02,253
Foreigner?
We're not foreigners.
337
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,038
Sorry, Mrs. Griffin.
338
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:07,027
Not only did you destroy
your passports, you renounced
your citizenship.
339
00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:08,476
When did we do that?
340
00:17:08,545 --> 00:17:10,723
Oh, I did that
on the Italian social
networking site,
341
00:17:10,747 --> 00:17:12,146
Shut-up-a-you-facebook.
342
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:25,788
Okay, Chris, we're going
to start off with a few
simple questions.
343
00:17:25,828 --> 00:17:27,622
First, what is your birth name?
344
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,413
It was all Dad's idea!
345
00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:32,649
It was supposed to be for fun,
but we killed him!
346
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,285
We killed that man!
347
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,185
All right, Meg,
part of being
an American citizen
348
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:43,555
is having an opinion
on certain hot-button
political issues.
349
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:45,679
Now, what is
your abortion stance?
350
00:17:45,748 --> 00:17:47,615
It's pretty much this.
351
00:17:49,686 --> 00:17:53,687
Now, if you will, please
sing the national anthem
of the United States.
352
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:57,558
♪ O say can you see
353
00:17:57,627 --> 00:18:01,094
♪ By the dawn's early light
354
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:04,348
♪ What so proudly we hailed
355
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,919
♪ At the twilight's
last gleaming
356
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:12,590
♪ And I
357
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:17,411
♪ Will always love you
358
00:18:17,479 --> 00:18:20,381
♪ I... ♪
359
00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:22,344
Okay, I've reviewed
your application.
360
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:23,962
Now, where you listed
employment,
361
00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:27,098
some of you wrote
Family Guy, and others
wrote The Family Guy.
362
00:18:27,122 --> 00:18:28,202
Which one is it?
363
00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:31,476
It's Family Guy.
364
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,006
All right,
now that you've completed
your initial application,
365
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,941
it will need to be filed
by an immigration lawyer
366
00:18:35,965 --> 00:18:39,132
at a cost of approximately
$5,000 per person.
367
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,829
And assuming that
all goes through,
368
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,799
you should have
your citizenship back
in 16 months.
369
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,339
Sixteen months?
370
00:18:45,408 --> 00:18:47,040
If I didn't know any better,
371
00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:49,721
I'd think you were making
it hard to become
a citizen on purpose.
372
00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:52,379
Like you don't
want any immigrants
coming to the U.S.
373
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,461
I wish that were true,
Mrs. Griffin, and it
probably might be.
374
00:18:55,485 --> 00:18:58,325
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go sit
on my fat wife.
375
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,671
I'm ready for you, String Bean!
376
00:19:01,758 --> 00:19:03,257
What a weird guy.
377
00:19:03,325 --> 00:19:06,544
Oh, this is terrible.
Peter, what are we
going to do?
378
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,089
I'll tell you what
we're going to do.
379
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:09,380
We're going to sneak in.
380
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:10,992
Well, we better get there soon.
381
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:14,235
I want to be there
for opening night
of Karate Kid 5.
382
00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:16,487
Mr. Miyagi, this is
kind of embarrassing,
383
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:19,223
but I'm having a problem
with erectile dysfunction.
384
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,612
Aye, Daniel -san.
Miyagi fix.
385
00:19:32,855 --> 00:19:34,172
Ay!
386
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,175
Tony!
387
00:20:33,683 --> 00:20:36,767
Well, I'm so glad
to finally be back
home in Quahog.
388
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,452
Although, I will miss Italy.
389
00:20:38,521 --> 00:20:42,456
You made the trip very
special for me, Peter.
390
00:20:42,525 --> 00:20:45,892
Well, thanks for showing me
and the kids what the rest
of the world is like, Lois.
391
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,498
I think we all learned a lot.
392
00:20:47,563 --> 00:20:49,313
And we met a lot
of great people.
393
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,248
Hey, what about that couple
we met in Amalfi?
394
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:52,561
Did you get their number?
I did.
395
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,629
You ready?
Yup.
396
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:57,688
Okay, it's 19-565-55018
397
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,857
81-453
398
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,892
989-90
399
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,462
016-8945-2.
400
00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:08,215
Well, I can't wait
to see the rest of
the world with you guys.
401
00:21:10,753 --> 00:21:12,619
Mario! You came for me!
402
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,588
Come with me, Meg, my princess.
403
00:21:14,656 --> 00:21:17,525
We gonna take
this relationship
to the next level.
404
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:27,651
Luigi's here again?
I thought that was
a one-time thing.
405
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,465
He like-a my sloppy seconds.
406
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:32,790
We-a plumber brothers.
We-a not-a high-class people.
32318
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