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1
00:00:02,052 --> 00:00:04,886
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,955 --> 00:00:08,189
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,777
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,779
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,283
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,553
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,232
♪ All the things
that make us
8
00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,539
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:29,911
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,351
We now return to
11
00:00:36,419 --> 00:00:39,504
11 Angry Men and One
Developmentally Disabled Man.
12
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,740
Okay, the vote is
11 for "guilty"
13
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,042
and one for "kitty."
14
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,294
All right, let's keep
talking it out.
15
00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:49,609
Has the jury
reached its verdict?
16
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,898
We have, Your Honor.
17
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:53,168
We find the defendant kitty.
18
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:00,542
Boy, am I beat.
19
00:01:00,611 --> 00:01:02,038
Peter, what's with the tie?
20
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,196
Oh, I bought a tie
so I can loosen it
when I'm beat.
21
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,444
Oh, my God, Dad!
22
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,596
Peter, your breath!
It's horrible.
23
00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:12,854
Is Whoopi Goldberg
working out down there?
24
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,567
Peter, I think what
everyone's saying
25
00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:16,135
is that you've
got "Dad breath."
26
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,504
What the hell's "Dad breath"?
27
00:01:17,528 --> 00:01:19,021
You know,
"Dad breath."
28
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,291
Guys get older,
they stop paying
attention to hygiene,
29
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,025
their bodies are changing.
30
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,061
It's just a fact that,
at a certain age,
31
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,063
men start to rot
from the inside out.
32
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,921
I don't smell it. Ha.
33
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,167
Maybe that
explains what happened
34
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,641
with that new guy at work today.
35
00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:35,738
All right, so this
is Pawtucket Patriot's
national distribution.
36
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,674
As you can see,
we are predominantly
an East Coast beer.
37
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,477
Hey, there's gonna
be a quiz on
all this later.
38
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,733
I'm just kidding.
39
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:45,121
Someone said
that to me once,
now I say it.
40
00:01:49,927 --> 00:01:53,512
Hey, Lois, what do
you say we do what
Anderson Cooper tried once
41
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,296
before he decided he hated it?
42
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,215
Oh, Peter.
43
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,317
Hi, there.
44
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,412
Ugh! Oh.
45
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:00,736
Let's do some role-playing.
46
00:02:00,804 --> 00:02:03,304
You're you, and I'm Peter,
only with much worse knees.
47
00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,656
Oh, my knees!
48
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:07,553
Actually, Peter,
I think I finally
want to
49
00:02:07,577 --> 00:02:10,295
make love to a 1950s' spaceman.
50
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,013
Really? You mean it?
51
00:02:12,082 --> 00:02:13,198
All right, let's go!
52
00:02:17,688 --> 00:02:19,070
Good.
53
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,910
Ugh, Dad, it smells
like rotting flesh
in here.
54
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,824
Take the window lock off!
Can't do that, Meg.
55
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,327
I don't trust myself
not to jump
out the window.
56
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,786
Ah, now this is music.
57
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:37,322
♪ Hidee hidee hidee hi
58
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,691
♪ Hidee hidee hidee hi
59
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:42,076
♪ Hode hode hode ho
60
00:02:42,145 --> 00:02:44,462
♪ Hode hode hode ho
61
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,815
♪ Hee dee hee dee hee dee hee
62
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,028
♪ Hee dee hee
dee hee dee hee ♪
63
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,741
Oh, my God! Meg, are
you okay? Do you need
mouth-to-nose resuscitation?
64
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,317
Politics.
65
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:07,452
Ugh!
66
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,556
Coach is a bum.
67
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,857
Ugh! Bloody hell!
68
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:14,103
Ha! Beetle Bailey.
69
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,798
Ugh, that's it!
All right, fat man,
two can play at that game.
70
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,768
Ah! Friendly fire!
71
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,030
All right, that's it, Peter.
72
00:03:25,054 --> 00:03:27,267
We've got to do
something about
that awful breath.
73
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,002
I'm making an
appointment, and you are
going to the dentist.
74
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:32,527
Geez, you are not
gonna let this go,
are you?
75
00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:35,046
You're as stubborn as
a four-hour erection.
76
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:38,065
Well, she's long gone,
so you can go, too.
77
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,968
Oh, no, you got me
for another three-and-a-half
hours, pal.
78
00:03:41,037 --> 00:03:42,637
Go ahead,
seek medical attention.
79
00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,651
I'm not going anywhere.
You can't stay!
80
00:03:44,675 --> 00:03:47,520
I'm chaperoning my
daughter's Girl Scout
dinner in 45 minutes!
81
00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:49,110
Well, tuck me into
your waistband
82
00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:50,678
and try not to
pee up your shirt.
83
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:59,487
Oh, boy. All right,
I think I found the culprit.
84
00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:01,974
This shrimp was lodged
under one of your gums.
85
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,819
Wow, that must've
been in there a while.
86
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,589
It's been weeks
since I ordered
from Hurry Up, Shrimp.
87
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,474
Where the hell is this guy?
88
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,376
I ordered that
shrimp two hours ago.
89
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,634
Uh-oh, looks like you
should've ordered
90
00:04:12,703 --> 00:04:14,035
from Hurry Up, Shrimp.
91
00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:16,933
Hurry Up, Shrimp?
Well, that just
sounds fast.
92
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:20,107
On average, Americans spend
upwards of 50,000 hours
93
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,254
waiting for shrimp
over the course
of their lives.
94
00:04:22,278 --> 00:04:24,479
When I heard that,
I thought to myself,
95
00:04:24,548 --> 00:04:26,915
"Why on Earth don't
these guys just hurry up?"
96
00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:28,600
So that's just what we did.
97
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:32,815
Come on! Come on!
98
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,439
No way this is the shrimp.
99
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,642
Wow, it is!
100
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,471
♪ Hurry Up, Shrimp
Hurry Up, Shrimp
101
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,506
♪ Hurry Up, Hurry Up
Hurry Up, Shrimp ♪
102
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,649
Well, I'm very
proud of you, Peter.
103
00:04:50,673 --> 00:04:52,919
And since you
were so well-behaved
at the dentist,
104
00:04:52,943 --> 00:04:54,720
you can order anything you want.
105
00:04:54,744 --> 00:04:57,025
Dad, when do I get
to go to the dentist?
106
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,697
When you're older, Chris.
107
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:01,316
Good evening,
countrymen.
And women.
108
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,302
Welcome to The Founding Father.
109
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,721
Hey, little guy.
110
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:09,936
You know, that's
a real treasure map
you've got there.
111
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,088
Okay, well, I guess
treasure hunting
isn't for everyone.
112
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:14,192
Treasure, you say?
113
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,581
Ah, yes. You see,
legend has it
114
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,484
that Quahog founder
Miles "Chatterbox" Musket
115
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,720
hid his fortune in
fear of it being taken
116
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,489
by British soldiers
during the Revolutionary War.
117
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:28,527
He died before he
could retrieve it,
and left behind only this map.
118
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:32,179
Many believe his
treasure is still buried
right here in Rhode Island.
119
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,353
Okay, I'm gonna go do diarrhea,
120
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,090
and then I'll be right back
to take your order.
121
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,976
Lois, I know where this is!
122
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,156
Peter, please, that's
just a place mat
123
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,958
to distract your children
while you're eating.
124
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,093
There's no treasure.
125
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,249
Well, what if there is?
126
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,134
Ah, see?
Surprised you
with that one.
127
00:05:53,203 --> 00:05:54,970
You see, you see that
rock next to the "X"?
128
00:05:55,038 --> 00:05:57,455
I know that rock, Lois.
It's right near Route 2.
129
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,940
I'm finding that treasure.
130
00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:00,341
Peter, the map is a joke.
131
00:06:00,410 --> 00:06:01,821
You're being played for a fool.
132
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:03,528
Like George McFly.
133
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,012
Hey, Lorraine,
134
00:06:05,081 --> 00:06:07,315
whatever happened
to that guy Marty
from high school?
135
00:06:07,383 --> 00:06:09,495
Don't know.
Never saw him
after the prom.
136
00:06:09,519 --> 00:06:13,455
Really?
Sure you didn't run into him,
oh, say, about 16 years ago?
137
00:06:13,523 --> 00:06:15,367
George, what are
you talking about?
138
00:06:15,391 --> 00:06:17,375
I'm talking about
the fact that our son,
139
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,878
who you insisted we name
after that guy Marty,
140
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,229
looks exactly like him!
141
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,264
You think I'm an idiot?
That I wouldn't notice
142
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:26,084
that our son is
a dead ringer for
the guy who fixed us up?
143
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:29,437
Mom, Dad,
I accidentally set fire
to the living room rug!
144
00:06:29,506 --> 00:06:31,272
I am not going easy on him!
145
00:06:36,412 --> 00:06:38,808
Hey, guys, who wants
to dig for buried
treasure with me?
146
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,359
What? What are
you talking about?
147
00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:42,095
Well, this child's
placemat is telling me
148
00:06:42,119 --> 00:06:44,781
to dig for buried
treasure by the side of
the highway. Who's in?
149
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,938
Oh, forget it, Peter.
That's crazy talk.
150
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,635
Yeah, we're not going along
with another one of
your stupid ideas.
151
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,103
I don't have stupid ideas.
152
00:06:51,127 --> 00:06:53,428
Haven't you seen
my documentary film?
153
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:58,567
Each year,the environment coversmore than 40% of the Earth.
154
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:02,020
Every animal on Earth lays eggs.
155
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:07,108
This is a birch tree.Today it will beginits 10,000-mile journey.
156
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,511
The Earth neither
hates nor loves,
157
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:14,982
but sits, waiting patiently,
for people to do famous stuff.
158
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,626
Peter, it's time to
come home. You've been out
here digging all day.
159
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,146
I told you, this whole
thing was ridiculous.
160
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,042
What the hell
was I thinking, anyway?
161
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:31,961
I must be some kind of idiot.
162
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,202
What was that?
163
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,936
Holy crap!
Lois, it's
the treasure!
164
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,394
Oh, my God!
Peter, you were right!
165
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:46,504
Oh, no, it's the one kid
who also followed
the treasure map.
166
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:00,962
I don't believe it!
167
00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:03,042
There really was
something buried
out there!
168
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,443
Well, it's not the treasure,
169
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:07,234
but it looks like it's a clue
to where the treasure is.
170
00:08:07,303 --> 00:08:09,420
"Face the circle in the square,
171
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,556
"you'll see me,
I'll show you where."
172
00:08:11,608 --> 00:08:13,191
Interesting.
173
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,326
Interesting, interesting.
174
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,579
Okay, well, if there
is a treasure out there,
175
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,281
we don't want anybody
else to know about it.
176
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,150
None of this leaves
this room, okay?
177
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,890
Obviously. We're not
idiots, Brian.
178
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:30,986
Hey, look!
Dad's on TV!
179
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,329
Hello, I'm Tom Tucker,here with local fortuneseeker Peter Griffin,
180
00:08:34,397 --> 00:08:36,815
who appears tohave found a clueto a hidden treasure.
181
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,611
That's right, Tom,
and I sincerely hope
182
00:08:38,635 --> 00:08:41,269
that the caption beneath me
doesn't say "Local Fatty."
183
00:08:41,338 --> 00:08:43,054
Let's do something
about that caption.
184
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,404
All right, well,you can check out theclue at our website.
185
00:08:49,813 --> 00:08:51,896
We were a little
late getting a website.
186
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:55,650
Quick, Neil! Sign
into the neighbors' Wi-Fi
so we can get that clue.
187
00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:57,252
Nurse, write down that clue.
188
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,298
And then go out
in the waiting room
189
00:08:59,322 --> 00:09:01,442
and maybe start
lowering expectations.
190
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:02,490
Treasure?
191
00:09:02,558 --> 00:09:03,602
Yeah, baby?
192
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,777
Bring me a grape wine.
193
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,740
Peter, what the hell!
Now everyone has the clue!
194
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,230
Why would you do that?
195
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,327
Because I'm tired
of people saying
I don't know nothin'.
196
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,784
Everyone doubted me,
197
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,664
so I wanted to rub
it in their faces
that I was right.
198
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:18,156
You're a cool guy.
I want you to give
me my bath tonight.
199
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,842
All right, where is it?
Give me that!
Is this all there was?
200
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:23,695
Yeah, is there anything
else we should know
before we start looking?
201
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,374
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is our thing.
202
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,942
We're not sharing
this with anyone.
203
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,511
Peter, come on, are you serious?
204
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:31,180
If Joe or I found
this, we'd want you
right alongside us.
205
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,821
Well, yeah,
we're like peas
in a pod.
206
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,509
Wait, wait.
Don't go in there.
He's doing his podcast.
207
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,795
Oh, that's cute.
Now, that I like.
208
00:09:40,864 --> 00:09:42,984
What do you think
about this, you old bag?
209
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,400
Oh, no.
210
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:47,596
Look, you guys
doubted me,
mocked me,
211
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,332
constantly handled
my Eggo despite
my clear instructions,
212
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,735
and now you want
a piece of my treasure?
I don't think so.
213
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,359
Well, fine!
We don't need
you anyway!
214
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,411
Peter, I don't like this.
215
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,180
It seems like this
treasure is already
216
00:09:59,248 --> 00:10:00,865
turning people
against each other.
217
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,195
Hang on, you guys.
I think I might have
figured something out.
218
00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:05,220
"The circle in the square."
219
00:10:05,288 --> 00:10:07,316
That could be the clock
in the town square.
220
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,891
Wow, that... You're right!
Brian, that could be it!
221
00:10:09,959 --> 00:10:12,593
Well, let's get down there
before anyone else does.
222
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,698
Son of a bitch!
Everyone's
already here!
223
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,373
Let's see, "Face
the circle in the square."
224
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:27,708
"Face the circle."
225
00:10:27,777 --> 00:10:29,344
"Face."
226
00:10:29,412 --> 00:10:32,852
Okay, the gesturing
needs to stop. No one
else is doing that.
227
00:10:36,586 --> 00:10:38,119
Look! When you
face this way,
228
00:10:38,188 --> 00:10:40,254
you're looking at
the statue of Miles Musket.
229
00:10:43,026 --> 00:10:45,204
Crap, you guys,
there's already
other people here.
230
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,739
They must have
figured it out, too.
231
00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:49,442
You're right.
Okay, gather round,
kids. Family suicide.
232
00:10:49,466 --> 00:10:50,548
Look, there's a plaque!
233
00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:53,612
"This square shall forever honor
234
00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:55,548
"the memory of my
son, Timmy Musket.
235
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,650
"Always a chip
off the old Block.
236
00:10:57,674 --> 00:10:59,040
"May he rest in peace.
237
00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:00,892
"Miles 'Chatterbox' Musket."
238
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:03,511
Wait, when I played
Jane Musket in
the school play
239
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,660
the last three weekends...
240
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:05,846
Thanks for coming.
241
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,992
I couldn't.
I had a thing.
242
00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:08,583
I had a lot of
dog stuff that day.
243
00:11:08,652 --> 00:11:10,529
Yeah, weekends
I like to spend
with my kids.
244
00:11:10,553 --> 00:11:14,188
I learned that
Timmy Musket is buried
in a cemetery on Block Island.
245
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,357
I remember it
because my big
speech was,
246
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,792
"Timmy..."
Meg, please.
247
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,705
That must be what
"chip off the
old Block" means!
248
00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:21,407
That's it!
Meg, take the
car home!
249
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:24,160
Your mother and I
are taking the ferry
to Block Island!
250
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,384
Chris, we need to
find that treasure
for ourselves.
251
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,619
What do you mean?
252
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:29,104
Even if Dad finds the treasure,
253
00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:31,217
he's not gonna share.
He'll just blow
through it all.
254
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:32,474
Maybe you're right.
255
00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:34,253
I mean,
last time we came
into some money,
256
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:37,256
he just wasted it on
all those diamond pinkie
rings for everybody.
257
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,363
What?
258
00:11:38,432 --> 00:11:40,672
We should probably go.
259
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,448
What the hell?
Where are they going?
260
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,105
Oh, forget them.
They're dead weight.
261
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,719
If this treasure's
going to be found,
it's up to you and me, Brian.
262
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,086
What do you mean?
Come on!
263
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,121
You think the fat man's
gonna figure out those clues?
264
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:55,023
He's an idiot.
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
265
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,124
Yes, I mean, he's
the guy who put
266
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:57,948
all those little
bald men in incubators
267
00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,617
because he thought
they were babies.
268
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,135
Look at you.
269
00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:03,538
You came early,
but you're gonna make it.
270
00:12:03,606 --> 00:12:06,474
I'm a senior vice president
at an investment firm!
271
00:12:06,543 --> 00:12:09,043
Oh, someone's a fussy britches.
272
00:12:38,108 --> 00:12:39,640
Want half a Mounds bar?
273
00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:40,749
What?
274
00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:41,954
Who eats a Mounds bar?
275
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,011
I do.
276
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:44,723
My whole life,
I don't think
I've ever seen
277
00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:46,359
a single person
eat a Mounds bar.
278
00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:48,349
Well, you're about
to see one now.
279
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:51,197
So, you walk into a store,
you see the hundreds
of options for candy,
280
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:52,731
and you choose a Mounds bar?
281
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:54,122
Yep.
282
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,402
So what is it you like?
The coconut?
The chocolate?
283
00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:57,791
Yeah. Both those things.
284
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,005
How long you been eating 'em?
285
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,828
Uh, I've probably
been having a Mounds bar
286
00:13:00,897 --> 00:13:02,963
two or three times a day
for the last 25 years.
287
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,178
Geez, no wonder you
can't walk! You have
total renal shutdown!
288
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,081
Your kidneys are
drowning in a stew of
chocolate and coconut!
289
00:13:09,105 --> 00:13:10,305
Give me that!
290
00:13:14,744 --> 00:13:15,944
What are you doing?
291
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,048
Why are your
nipples poking into me?
292
00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:23,217
Sorry. That happens
when I'm cold.
293
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,297
But why are there three of them?
294
00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:27,187
There aren't.
Two of them are moles.
295
00:13:27,257 --> 00:13:29,368
Those numbers
still don't add up!
296
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,392
Chris, look!
297
00:13:31,461 --> 00:13:34,061
Do you think we have
time to ruin that family's
quiet beach day?
298
00:13:34,096 --> 00:13:36,275
We have no choice.
We're on a Jet Ski.
299
00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:37,943
Didn't you read
the agreement we signed?
300
00:13:37,967 --> 00:13:39,445
And don't forget,
if they have
small children
301
00:13:39,469 --> 00:13:42,448
we have to whoop
and curse or else
we lost our deposit.
302
00:13:42,472 --> 00:13:44,122
This is nice.
303
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,836
I used to come
here when I was a kid,
and now I'm here with my son.
304
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,020
The sounds of
the ocean really seem
to soothe his autism.
305
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,296
Yeah, fucking ocean!
306
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,132
Whoo!
307
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,932
Why the hell are we taking
a hot air balloon?
308
00:14:00,956 --> 00:14:02,890
I don't think
we're anywhere
near Block Island.
309
00:14:02,958 --> 00:14:04,870
Oh, I know.
We passed that
miles ago.
310
00:14:04,894 --> 00:14:07,027
What? Well,
then what about
the treasure?
311
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,975
Two friends
sailing in the sky
in a wicker basket
312
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:12,600
with a strange man
holding a cheese plate?
313
00:14:12,669 --> 00:14:14,580
This is the treasure, Bri.
314
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,036
You want a Vicodin?
315
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,539
Isn't it dangerous
to do drugs
10,000 feet in the air?
316
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:19,907
Yeah. Exactly.
317
00:14:21,143 --> 00:14:22,193
What the hell?
318
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,144
Never gonna die!
319
00:14:24,213 --> 00:14:27,331
Your friend is,
like, the coolest guy
I've ever had up here.
320
00:14:30,252 --> 00:14:33,231
Damn it, Lois,
they're already here!
This is all your fault!
321
00:14:33,255 --> 00:14:35,173
What? How is
this my fault?
322
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,608
Because you just had
to stop for ice cream!
323
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,121
Then you get in there,
and you order
324
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,522
like you never
heard of food before!
325
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:44,532
Oh, coffee fudge
swirl with Reese's
Peanut Butter Cups.
326
00:14:44,601 --> 00:14:46,634
Oh, I wonder what's in that!
327
00:14:46,703 --> 00:14:48,870
You just listed off
all the ingredients!
328
00:14:48,938 --> 00:14:51,071
Everything you just
said is what's in that!
329
00:14:53,676 --> 00:14:55,404
Well, I hate to say it,
but I guess
330
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,039
we're supposed to
dig this kid up.
331
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,063
Any volunteers?
332
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,830
I dig kids.
333
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,426
All of you, hold it right there!
334
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:03,812
If anyone's digging
into this little
kid's grave, it's me!
335
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,314
You're too late.
We got here first.
336
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,621
No, it's my treasure hunt!
I found the first clue!
337
00:15:07,691 --> 00:15:09,235
You guys are just horning in!
338
00:15:09,259 --> 00:15:11,759
You guys, calm down!
See, this is what I
was talking about.
339
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,761
You can't
desecrate a
child's grave.
340
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:16,058
Don't worry, Lois.
We're gonna do
it with reverence.
341
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,032
Hey, how about
a little digging song?
342
00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:19,800
♪ Little Peter Griffin
343
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:21,452
♪ Diggin' up a casket
344
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,688
♪ Shovelful of dirt
and bop ya on the head ♪
345
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,618
I didn't care for
the end of that song.
346
00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:31,011
Oh, my God!
The treasure's in the casket!
Come on, Meg, let's get it!
347
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,129
My treasure!
348
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:35,032
Oh, my God!
You hit your own son!
349
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,550
That's it, Peter.
350
00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:38,952
I am not gonna
stand here and be
a part of this madness.
351
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,439
You're on your own,
because I quit!
352
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,324
Chris, Meg, we're going home.
353
00:15:43,393 --> 00:15:45,838
Well, good!
You were just
slowing me down anyway!
354
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,102
You, Asian lady,
you're the new Lois.
355
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:52,733
I will have one scoop
of mint chocolate
chip in a waffle cone.
356
00:15:52,802 --> 00:15:55,202
You are a practical,
straightforward people.
357
00:16:02,078 --> 00:16:03,958
What do you guys
think is in here?
358
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,947
Sounds like books.
359
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,434
Oh, my God!
360
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,648
Feels so weird to be
looking at a dead kid
361
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,712
and not have
angry parents nearby.
362
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,591
Hey, look!
There's something
written inside the lid.
363
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:28,669
By the way, for those
who came on my boat,
I have those sandwiches.
364
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:31,639
"Hits misses,
cheers, and boos."
365
00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,424
Could be baseball?
366
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:34,959
And "pawed through clues."
367
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,061
Could it be Pawtucket?
368
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:39,614
The Pawtucket Red Sox
play at McCoy Stadium.
369
00:16:39,682 --> 00:16:41,982
Quagmire, let's
get to that stadium!
370
00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:49,106
Lois took the bike.
Hey, wait a minute.
371
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,710
This is a great time for me
to do my Suzuki Samurai promo!
372
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,531
Are you a Hawaii scumbag?
373
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,033
Do you chug energy
drinks in Arizona?
374
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,970
Suzuki Samurai.
Ninja name, garbage car.
375
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:13,915
This dugout is mine,
you hear me?
376
00:17:13,983 --> 00:17:17,501
Well, you can take
that bat and shove it
up my ass, mister.
377
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,222
You sons of bitches,
this is my...
378
00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:29,397
Oh, my God, look at 'em.
379
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,964
Lois was right.
380
00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:34,233
This treasure hunt
has turned them all
into animals.
381
00:17:34,771 --> 00:17:37,704
There's more where
that came from, mister!
382
00:17:37,773 --> 00:17:39,873
He was right.
There was more!
383
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,598
Oh, look who's back,
the grave robber.
384
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:48,766
Hey, Lois.
385
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,762
So, what happened?
You find your treasure?
386
00:17:50,786 --> 00:17:53,871
No. I realized
something after you left.
387
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,839
It's not the treasure
that matters.
388
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,860
All that really matters
is the money you get in
exchange for the treasure.
389
00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:02,096
I guess I had to
learn that the hard way.
390
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,260
Peter, you were
a real jerk out there!
391
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:08,235
I know.
You were right.
I took this thing way too far.
392
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:11,438
And I'm really sorry
about how I treated
you and the kids.
393
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,769
But you know me.
If I read anything
on a place mat,
394
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,359
I just kind of go nuts.
395
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,194
Can you forgive me?
396
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,379
Chris forgave me.
397
00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:21,315
I can't wait for you
to fall asleep tonight.
398
00:18:21,383 --> 00:18:23,995
Of course I forgive you, Peter.
399
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,598
So I guess everyone
else came to their
senses, too, huh?
400
00:18:26,622 --> 00:18:28,522
No, they all ran
off to McCoy Stadium.
401
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:31,091
What? Why? What's
at McCoy Stadium?
402
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,777
There was a clue
at the graveyard.
403
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,079
Here, I took a picture
with my phone.
404
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,915
No, it's the next picture.
Just swipe it to the next one.
405
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:41,802
She saw me.
406
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:46,006
"You've crossed the miles,
you've pawed through clues.
407
00:18:46,075 --> 00:18:49,710
"Find where he hits misses,
cheers, and boos."
408
00:18:49,778 --> 00:18:52,907
Peter, this can't
be leading them to
a baseball stadium.
409
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,877
Baseball wasn't
invented until
the 1800s.
410
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,801
Wow, you're really smart, Lois.
411
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,799
You know, Peter,
in the first eight
minutes of Meg's play,
412
00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:02,356
before I walked out,
413
00:19:02,424 --> 00:19:05,926
they said Miles Musket
was a horrible
drunk and a wife beater.
414
00:19:05,995 --> 00:19:07,806
So, when it says "hits misses,"
415
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:11,132
it might be talking about
hitting Mrs. Musket.
416
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,078
And he probably
misspelled "missus"
417
00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,914
because he was
drunk when he wrote it.
418
00:19:14,938 --> 00:19:17,354
Or maybe he misspelled it
because cursive is hard,
419
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:18,851
and everyone should
get off his back.
420
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:21,625
And "cheers" and "boos"
might be referring to a bar
421
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,695
where he would "cheers"
and drink his "booze."
422
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,847
"Hits missus,
cheers and booze."
423
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,127
Wait a minute.
It's got to be
an old bar, right?
424
00:19:29,151 --> 00:19:30,912
The Clam's
the oldest bar in town.
425
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,256
That must be
where the treasure is!
426
00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:35,021
All right, let's you
put some makeup on
427
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,724
and get right down to The Clam!
428
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,195
Oh, no, they're closed.
429
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,025
Hang on.
I got an idea.
430
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,444
But you have to believe.
431
00:19:45,468 --> 00:19:47,234
What?
You have to believe.
432
00:19:47,303 --> 00:19:48,363
Say you believe.
433
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,020
Okay. I believe.
434
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,649
This is worse than
the time we were in
The Clam right now.
435
00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,943
Yes!
Peter, look!
436
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,462
That's Miles Musket!
437
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,813
It is?
Yes!
438
00:19:59,882 --> 00:20:02,082
How have you never seen
this painting before?
439
00:20:02,151 --> 00:20:05,151
Lois, I'm completely
hammered every time
I'm in here.
440
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:21,835
We did it!
We found the treasure!
441
00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:25,706
You know what, Peter?
Why don't you open it?
442
00:20:25,774 --> 00:20:28,659
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, okay, I'll open it.
443
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,062
Here, hold this.
444
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:45,942
"Congratulations. You have won
The Founding Father Restaurant
445
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,611
"Treasure Hunt Challenge.
446
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:51,448
"Please enjoy one free meal
at select Founding
Father locations.
447
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:54,718
"Expires May 16, 2006."
448
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,064
Wait a second.
What year is it?
449
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,954
It's 2013, Peter.
450
00:20:58,023 --> 00:21:00,569
So that's...
It's before.
The coupon's no good.
451
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,359
Oh, man!
452
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:06,597
Um, this sucks worse
than when I went to
that strip club without Lois.
453
00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:08,999
Yay!
454
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:17,224
Well, Peter, I hope
you're not disappointed
we didn't find any treasure.
455
00:21:17,293 --> 00:21:18,426
No, it's fine.
456
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,060
You know, the important thing is
457
00:21:20,129 --> 00:21:21,707
we figured out
those clues together.
458
00:21:21,731 --> 00:21:23,564
I mean, so what we
won't be able to pay
459
00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:25,398
to fix them veins in your legs.
460
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:29,286
You're my treasure, Lois,
and I want you on my
team for everything.
461
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:31,254
Except for sports.
462
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,568
Me too, Peter.
I love you.
463
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:35,493
I love you, too, Lois.
464
00:21:36,979 --> 00:21:38,279
No way that's the shrimp.
36334
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