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1
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,300
Peter, come on,
it's time to wake up.
You got to get to work.
2
00:00:07,324 --> 00:00:09,291
Ah, Lois, I ain't feeling good.
3
00:00:09,359 --> 00:00:12,727
Peter, what happened
to your voice?
It's so deep.
4
00:00:12,797 --> 00:00:14,096
I think I'm sick.
5
00:00:14,165 --> 00:00:16,309
Well, you don't
sound like yourself.
6
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,367
In fact, you sound kind of hot.
7
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,970
I just threw up
two chicken gyros out my nose.
8
00:00:22,038 --> 00:00:23,483
They're on your side of the bed.
9
00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:25,874
Oh, say that again.
10
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,489
But I want you to
keep talking to me
11
00:00:29,513 --> 00:00:31,491
in that sexy voice
while we do it.
12
00:00:31,515 --> 00:00:33,081
Okay, great.
13
00:00:33,149 --> 00:00:35,851
Let's pretend
you're a tollbooth worker
and I'm molesting you.
14
00:00:35,919 --> 00:00:36,985
Okay.
15
00:00:37,053 --> 00:00:38,286
I don't have any change.
16
00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:39,521
Now take off that parka.
17
00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:40,755
Uh, uh, uh.
18
00:00:40,824 --> 00:00:42,902
You're gonna have
to pay a high toll
19
00:00:42,926 --> 00:00:45,037
if you want to get
into this tunnel.
20
00:00:45,061 --> 00:00:46,439
Come on,
don't say stuff like that.
21
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,730
I want you to be scared,
not make puns.
22
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,292
Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker.
23
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,693
For those of you
who turned out to see
24
00:01:07,717 --> 00:01:10,051
my stand-up comedy debut
at Zany's last night,
25
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,087
I again apologizefor what I saidabout Moroccans.
26
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,734
But today's
breaking news is that
27
00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:16,302
the New England
Toy and Game Company
28
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,261
has issued an immediate recall
of all of its stuffed bears,
29
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,762
like the one shown here.
30
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,997
The bear's eyes
can become easily detached
31
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:25,049
and pose a potential
choking hazard.
32
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,885
Oh, my God, that's the same
teddy bear Stewie has.
33
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:30,088
We got to send that thing
back right away.
34
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:32,936
Boy, I wonder if
there's anything more
on Channel Two about this.
35
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,027
Our top story, Channel Five
news anchor, Tom Tucker,
36
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,714
has a meltdown at
a local comedy club.
37
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:42,734
Look at you,you fat, gross Moroccanswith your ooga-booga food.
38
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:52,711
Oh, my God, that was amazing.
I'm gonna have to crawl
to the bathroom.
39
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,480
Yeah, that was incredible.
40
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:57,783
It was the first
time I had an orgasm
out the front and back.
41
00:01:57,852 --> 00:02:01,052
God, Peter,
this voice of yours
is really something.
42
00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:02,999
Oh, I can't get enough of it.
43
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,556
Yeah, it's been pretty great.
44
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,042
You know, I even won
a deep voice contest
with Joe yesterday.
45
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,764
I heard you coming.
I made myself heard.
46
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,112
Where have you come from?
I've come from
where I've been.
47
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,336
You still riding with that
mangy polecat Fletcher?
48
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,149
Fletcher met
the long arm of the law
49
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,351
at the wrong end of a shotgun
and the deep end of a grave
50
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,120
at the far end
of a dead-end road.
51
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,376
Winner!
52
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,647
Well, I should
probably get going.
53
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,916
Me, Joe and Quagmire
are going bowling again.
54
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,785
We got a big tournament
coming up next week.
55
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,331
Well, hurry back, handsome.
56
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,888
Oh, Peter, this is so much fun.
57
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,669
I feel like I have
a secret lover
nobody else knows about.
58
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,360
Just like Carly Simon.
59
00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,244
Ms. Simon,
enough years have gone by
60
00:02:43,313 --> 00:02:45,859
since you wrote
your classic hit,
You're So Vain.
61
00:02:45,883 --> 00:02:47,660
Don't you think it's
time to tell the world
62
00:02:47,684 --> 00:02:49,396
who that song was written about?
63
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:53,522
No. That will always
be a secret between
me and him.
64
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:57,292
♪ You're so vain
65
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,796
♪ You probably think
this song is about you
66
00:03:00,864 --> 00:03:04,048
♪ You're so vain
You're so vain ♪
67
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,154
Come on, Rupert, let's go.
68
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:11,367
This is the first
day we're allowed
to the end of the driveway,
69
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,691
and I intend to
take full advantage.
70
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,910
Rupert?
71
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:18,713
Rupert?
72
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,466
Hey, what's going on?
73
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,979
Brian, I can't find
Rupert anywhere.
74
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,068
Have you seen him?
75
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,448
Oh, I thought Lois
would've told you.
76
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,883
She sent him
back to the factory.
77
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,072
What? Why?
78
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,519
She was afraid he
was gonna choke you.
79
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,776
Oh, that was a game we played.
80
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,677
Believe me, I was
in control the whole time.
81
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,257
No, the company issued a recall.
82
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:35,592
But don't worry,
they sent a replacement.
83
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,496
Here, the guy
just delivered it.
Replacement?
84
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,353
What the hell is this?
85
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,771
What? Come on,
he's a cute little giraffe.
86
00:03:43,841 --> 00:03:46,374
Maybe you could call him,
like, Gizmo or something.
87
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:47,709
Oh, look, he can fly.
88
00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:53,048
I hate him.
His mouth is always
open like P. Diddy.
89
00:03:53,116 --> 00:03:54,316
Well, what do you mean?
90
00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:55,995
You ever notice how
in every photo of P. Diddy,
91
00:03:56,019 --> 00:03:57,552
his mouth is hanging open?
92
00:03:57,620 --> 00:04:00,133
Well, actually,
Diddy hired a guy to
close his mouth for him.
93
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,997
I'm telling you,
this kid is
the next Justin Bieber.
94
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,505
Young girls love him,
but he makes
real music that...
95
00:04:05,529 --> 00:04:07,211
Sorry I'm late.
Traffic.
96
00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:14,147
Good morning, Lois!
How's it going, Brian?
97
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,105
Peter, what happened
to your voice?
98
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,875
Oh, you know what happened,
you sexy minx.
99
00:04:19,943 --> 00:04:23,378
My white blood cells
attacked the pathogens
and created antibodies,
100
00:04:23,446 --> 00:04:26,814
and then the pathogens
were filtered out
by my kidneys into my urine
101
00:04:26,884 --> 00:04:29,650
and then expelled
from my body, you slut.
102
00:04:29,719 --> 00:04:31,119
Peter, not now.
103
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,308
What the hell, Lois?
Yesterday you
were all over me.
104
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,891
And then,
for a confusing period,
inside of me.
105
00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:38,760
I had no control over
what I did yesterday, Peter.
106
00:04:38,828 --> 00:04:41,129
I mean, I'm glad
you're feeling better,
107
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:44,799
but, boy, that sick
voice of yours was hot.
108
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,468
Damn it, this sucks, Brian.
I was getting laid
left and right.
109
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,938
Yeah, sounds like being sick
was really working for you.
110
00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:51,706
Well, you know what I got to do?
111
00:04:51,775 --> 00:04:54,509
I got to make
myself sick again
and get that voice back.
112
00:04:54,577 --> 00:04:57,556
Peter, that might be
the worst idea anyone
has ever had.
113
00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:58,947
Well, you're wrong there.
114
00:04:59,016 --> 00:05:01,616
The worst idea
anyone ever had
was silver bullets.
115
00:05:01,684 --> 00:05:05,186
Barbara Liebowitz's husband
just bought her
a diamond broach.
116
00:05:05,255 --> 00:05:06,933
You know how he afforded that?
117
00:05:06,957 --> 00:05:08,156
He uses regular bullets.
118
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,124
He uses regular bullets.
119
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,680
Meg, have you seen Dad?
120
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,148
Yeah, he's at the dentist.
121
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,483
He's trying to get sick.
122
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,334
Okay, go ahead and spit.
123
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,257
It's okay, go ahead.
124
00:05:28,044 --> 00:05:30,490
All right,
Chris, I figured out
a great way to get sick.
125
00:05:30,514 --> 00:05:33,832
I'm gonna be a woman at work
who cannot get sick right now.
126
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,213
Sweetie, maybe you
need to go home.
127
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,570
I'm not going home.
I cannot get sick right now.
128
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:40,972
I have way too much to do.
129
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,141
It's okay,
everyone will understand.
130
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,942
No. I cannot
get sick right now.
131
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,956
There's Kendra's birthday
and the baby shower,
132
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,514
and with this move,
I just cannot
get sick right now.
133
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:52,017
I have to finish typing
this... Typing this...
134
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,937
That's it, I'm taking you home.
135
00:05:56,006 --> 00:05:58,306
You did this to me!
136
00:06:00,243 --> 00:06:01,487
Miss Lohan!
Lindsay!
137
00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:03,845
Over here, Lindsay!
138
00:06:03,914 --> 00:06:06,547
Excuse me, which one
was Lindsay Lohan's
dessert fork?
139
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,816
Uh, I think it was that one.
140
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,870
Give me cocaine!
141
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,187
The History Channel presents
142
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,829
Where in World War II is Waldo?
143
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,452
Do I sound sexy?
144
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,487
Tell me I sound sexy.
145
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,034
Peter, what the hell?
You look terrible.
146
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,457
Clear off the couch, kids.
147
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,559
I'm gonna do your
mother right here.
148
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:37,462
But you guys might
have to help stuff me in.
149
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,233
Oh, my God, Peter!
150
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:44,701
Oh, I'm leaving.
I cannot get
sick right now.
151
00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:52,944
Dr. Hartman,
is Peter gonna be okay?
152
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,830
If one more person
asks me about a patient today,
153
00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:57,332
I'm gonna scream.
154
00:06:59,069 --> 00:07:00,269
What time is it?
155
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,837
Peter, what are you doing?
Get back in bed.
156
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,740
I can't, Lois.
I got the bowling
tournament this afternoon.
157
00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:07,620
Quagmire and Joe
are counting on me.
158
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:10,345
Forget about bowling, Peter.
You're very sick.
159
00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:11,712
You're not going anywhere.
160
00:07:11,781 --> 00:07:13,959
But if I don't go,
we'll have to forfeit.
161
00:07:13,983 --> 00:07:17,085
I'm sorry,
but you need to stay
here and get better.
162
00:07:17,154 --> 00:07:19,454
Well, then, you're gonna
have to bowl for me.
163
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:22,690
What? Peter, I haven't
bowled since college.
164
00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:24,603
Please, you got to
do me this favor, Lois.
165
00:07:24,627 --> 00:07:27,373
You owe me from when
I took you to see
Shakespeare in the Park,
166
00:07:27,397 --> 00:07:29,108
even though it was
the part of the park
167
00:07:29,132 --> 00:07:30,843
where the gay guys
go to have sex.
168
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,318
To be, or not to be...
169
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:35,632
Harder!
170
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,823
Ignore that,
that's not part of the play.
171
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,458
That is the question.
172
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,792
Whether 'tis nobler...
173
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,643
This isn't love, by the way.
174
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,066
Brian, get your keys.
175
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,514
I need you to drive me
to that toy factory
so I can get Rupert back.
176
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,587
Stewie, Lois sent him back
'cause he's not safe.
177
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:55,156
But, Brian, I miss him!
178
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,991
Without Rupert, I...
179
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,204
Are you watching porn
in the kitchen?
180
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,007
Come on, man, we eat in here.
181
00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:03,342
Anyway, I need you
to drive me
to Middleborough.
182
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:04,877
Middleborough?
That's, like,
two hours from here.
183
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,812
I'm not doing that.
Come on, Brian.
184
00:08:06,836 --> 00:08:08,581
Tell you what,
you drive me
to Middleborough,
185
00:08:08,605 --> 00:08:11,965
and I'll teach you
my secret to
picking up chicks.
186
00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:14,442
Hey. You, me,
ba-boom, huh?
187
00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:20,693
Thanks for filling
in for Peter, Lois.
188
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,228
Yeah, okay, but I hope
you brought it today,
189
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,596
'cause this ain't
no ladies' lunch.
190
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,587
Well, I'll certainly
do the best I can.
191
00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:26,921
But don't worry, Glenn,
192
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,524
I'm one woman who knows
a thing or two about sports.
193
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:30,836
Yeah, I know you think you are.
194
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:33,211
Your softball chatter
made that quite clear.
195
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:35,379
Okay, that's two down,
guys, two outs.
196
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,026
Two out of the three
outs required.
197
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,750
Okay, guys, let's go.
198
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,118
Tom Brady is a quarterback.
199
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,619
Okay, heads up, two down.
200
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,232
College football is on Saturday.
201
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,123
Okay, come on, look alive.
202
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,009
NBA players are
predominantly black.
203
00:08:48,078 --> 00:08:50,244
Oh, hi, Lois.
What are you doing here?
204
00:08:50,313 --> 00:08:52,680
I'm filling in for Peter.
He's sick.
205
00:08:52,748 --> 00:08:56,568
All right,
finally a little harpoon
in the bowling alley.
206
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,836
All right, what do
you say we get this
thing started, huh?
207
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,459
Whoo, nice roll, Lois!
208
00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:07,028
My God.
209
00:09:07,097 --> 00:09:09,730
If she chews gum,
she's got the whole package.
210
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,483
Yes! That's what
I'm talking about!
211
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,968
Take that, you jagoffs!
I hope you die!
212
00:09:14,037 --> 00:09:16,253
God, Quagmire gets
so competitive with sports.
213
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:19,135
Hey, Quagmire,
it's just a game.
Take it easy.
214
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,303
I'm not gonna take it easy!
These guys are going down!
215
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,728
You're going down
in front of
all these people!
216
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,350
All right, Lois,
it's all up to you.
217
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,807
We only need six
to beat the Pinheads.
218
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,142
And it would be four
219
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:41,045
if someone could've hit
that seven-10 split, right?
220
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,481
Joe! Joey, Joey, Joey,
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe!
221
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:01,995
Yes!
Yeah!
222
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,852
Yeah! We did it!
223
00:10:04,921 --> 00:10:07,655
Oh, what's this? What's this?
It says right here we won!
224
00:10:07,724 --> 00:10:09,557
We won, you dicks!
You suck!
225
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:12,255
Um, excuse me,
would you mind
keeping it down?
226
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,199
We're having my son's
birthday party over here.
227
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,391
Yeah, sure, sure, sure, honey.
228
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,015
What's his name?
Mikey.
229
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,483
Happy fucking birthday, Mikey!
230
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:20,734
Yeah!
231
00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:26,107
Well, this is great.
232
00:10:26,176 --> 00:10:28,353
So when you guys
aren't celebrating
a big bowling victory,
233
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:29,777
what do you normally do here?
234
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:32,446
Uh, well, sometimes
we compare women.
235
00:10:32,515 --> 00:10:34,276
Talk about who we'd
rather have sex with.
236
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,784
Oh, that sounds fun.
How do you play?
237
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,319
Well, it's like, um...
238
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,155
Okay, who would you rather do,
Kristen Stewart
or Scarlett Johansson?
239
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,657
Oh, definitely
Scarlett Johansson.
240
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,159
For one thing,
there's the boobs,
241
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,995
which Kristen Stewart
does not have.
242
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:50,131
Also, I get the sense
that Kristen Stewart
is more of a bath person
243
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,832
when she really needs a shower.
244
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,579
She does seem kind of dirty.
245
00:10:53,603 --> 00:10:57,105
Yeah, someone
should write "wash me"
in the dust on that flat ass.
246
00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:00,108
Move over,
funnyman Richard Lewis.
247
00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:02,076
We got Richard Lois!
248
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,750
Well, here we are.
249
00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:12,236
Oh, great.
Hey, maybe on the ride home,
someone else can tell a story.
250
00:11:14,991 --> 00:11:16,724
So what exactly
is your plan here?
251
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:18,104
I've got it all
figured out, Brian.
252
00:11:18,128 --> 00:11:20,439
This tour will take us
deep into the factory,
253
00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:23,848
and when the time is right,
we'll slip away
and find Rupert.
254
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,116
Does anyone have
any questions so far?
255
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,585
Who's that up there?
256
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,919
Oh, that's our gunman.
257
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:31,033
Every once in a while,
one of our toys becomes real,
258
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:33,257
and we have to make sure
it doesn't get out.
259
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,585
Brian, look!
That must be
where Rupert is!
260
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,276
Rupert!
My God, you're all right!
Oh, you missed so much!
261
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,222
I had to deliver
a speech to Britain,
262
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,147
and I overcame my stutter
through some
pretty kooky means.
263
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,860
Brian, don't say anything.
264
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,050
Uh, Stewie?
265
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:03,338
Oh, crap.
266
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:05,924
This is not the way out!
This is not the way out!
267
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,891
Hey, Horace, get that
wiener out of your hand
268
00:12:11,915 --> 00:12:13,826
and give us three
more beers over here!
269
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:16,700
Lois, you're always
giving me the business.
270
00:12:18,722 --> 00:12:21,923
Hey, I meant to tell you guys.
We shot some
drug dealer this morning,
271
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:25,004
and he had three
Red Sox tickets
in his pocket.
272
00:12:25,028 --> 00:12:26,160
That's awesome!
273
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:28,295
Oh, this'll be so fun!
274
00:12:28,364 --> 00:12:29,831
You know, if we leave right now,
275
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,233
we can probably
still get there
before the first pitch.
276
00:12:32,301 --> 00:12:33,501
Hey, you guys.
277
00:12:33,537 --> 00:12:34,747
Oh, hey, Peter.
How's it going?
278
00:12:34,771 --> 00:12:37,138
Peter, it's so good
to see you up and around!
279
00:12:37,206 --> 00:12:38,540
Yeah, how ya feeling?
280
00:12:38,608 --> 00:12:39,874
I'm feeling shipshape.
281
00:12:39,943 --> 00:12:42,063
If the ship
is the S.S. Minnow.
282
00:12:43,312 --> 00:12:44,957
Doctor said I'd be
making bland jokes
283
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,559
for about a week,
then I'd be good as new.
284
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:47,849
That's good to hear.
285
00:12:47,918 --> 00:12:49,929
Well, we were just
on our way up to Fenway.
286
00:12:49,953 --> 00:12:51,731
You got tickets?
That's sweet.
287
00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:55,590
You know,
there's no better outing
than watching nine innings.
288
00:12:55,659 --> 00:12:57,686
Sorry, I'll perk up at the game.
289
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,211
Oh, well, actually,
we only have three tickets,
290
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,612
and we're going with Lois.
291
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,164
With Lois?
292
00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:05,578
Oh, yeah, we've
actually been having
a great time with her.
293
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:07,446
And she's quite a bowler, too.
294
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:08,803
Is that all right, Peter?
295
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,905
Do you mind if
I go to the game
with the guys?
296
00:13:10,974 --> 00:13:14,208
Yeah, no, that's fine.
I mean, yeah,
you only got three tickets.
297
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:15,955
I mean, that's cool.
Have fun.
298
00:13:15,979 --> 00:13:17,511
Okay, we'll see you later.
299
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,246
Hey, Horace, why don't you
take that wiener out of
your hand and get me a beer.
300
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,537
Don't talk to me that way,
you son of a bitch!
301
00:13:34,764 --> 00:13:35,896
Oh, hey, Peter!
302
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:37,098
Oh, hey.
303
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:38,678
Did you have fun at the game?
304
00:13:38,702 --> 00:13:40,167
Oh, yeah, it was so exciting.
305
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:42,537
They scored the winning hit
right at the buzzer.
306
00:13:42,606 --> 00:13:43,838
I'm sorry you missed it.
307
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,406
Yeah, no, that's okay.
308
00:13:45,475 --> 00:13:47,886
I've just been
hanging out here
having a great time with...
309
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,222
Meg?
Hey.
310
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,529
I thought you was a bag
of peeling potatoes.
311
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:55,049
Well, maybe next time you
can come with us when we
go to Red Sock Field.
312
00:13:55,118 --> 00:13:56,684
Nobody calls it that.
313
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,587
Quags and Swanny were
so funny yelling things
at the visitors.
314
00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:00,955
Quags and Swanny?
315
00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:02,735
Lois, it's one thing
to steal my friends,
316
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,770
but don't go giving them
stupid new nicknames.
317
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:08,295
What are you talking about?
I didn't steal
your friends, Peter.
318
00:14:08,364 --> 00:14:10,498
I'm only doing what
you asked me to do.
319
00:14:10,566 --> 00:14:13,779
No, I asked you to take
my place at the bowling
tournament, that's it!
320
00:14:13,803 --> 00:14:16,716
Look, Lois,
I have my friends,
and you have groceries
321
00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:18,918
and all those
rusty pink razors
in the shower.
322
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:22,110
Now just stick to
what's intended for you
and leave my things to me.
323
00:14:22,178 --> 00:14:23,978
Are you saying
you want me to stop
324
00:14:24,047 --> 00:14:25,813
hanging out with
Joe and Quagmire?
325
00:14:25,882 --> 00:14:28,060
They're my friends.
They're all I got!
326
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:30,484
And you know how hard it is
for me to make new friends.
327
00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:38,576
Is this friends?
328
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:46,417
Stewie,
we're never gonna find him.
They're all exactly the same.
329
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:50,154
Wow. I wish you
could hear how racist
you sound right now.
330
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:53,024
Come on. Can't you give
that giraffe at
home another chance?
331
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,469
You know,
for every one they sell,
332
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,143
they save a giraffe in the wild.
333
00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:01,749
Sorry, giraffes!
They only bought one!
334
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,018
Nah, they returned it!
335
00:15:08,524 --> 00:15:10,824
And so Lois sweet-talks
her way backstage.
336
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:13,672
Next thing you know,
we're partying all night
with the trapeze people!
337
00:15:13,696 --> 00:15:15,296
One of them drives a Volvo!
338
00:15:15,365 --> 00:15:17,865
Drives a super-safe car,
does that for a living!
339
00:15:17,933 --> 00:15:20,968
Go figure!
340
00:15:21,037 --> 00:15:24,872
So what?
She can name a kind of car.
Big whoop. I can do that, too.
341
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:26,140
Vikki.
342
00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:27,391
Vikki Carr.
343
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,060
Peter, relax.
344
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,274
It just happens that
your wife has some
funny stories, that's all.
345
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,314
Well, I got some funny stories.
346
00:15:33,383 --> 00:15:37,485
I knew a guy who
choked on an almond.
And he had a stroke.
347
00:15:37,554 --> 00:15:41,556
Now he can't take care
of his own bathroom needs.
348
00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:43,202
That's not funny.
That sounds sad.
349
00:15:43,226 --> 00:15:44,770
Yeah, I feel bad for him.
350
00:15:44,794 --> 00:15:47,127
Oh, don't feel bad for him.
He got his name in the paper.
351
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,597
What?
352
00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:51,131
Please look at me!
353
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,678
What the hell's
wrong with you, Peter?
354
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,736
Nothing. What the hell's
wrong with you, Swanny?
355
00:15:54,804 --> 00:15:56,036
I'm Quags.
356
00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:59,040
I don't know who
any of you are anymore!
357
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,225
Oh, he's really upset.
358
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,878
I haven't seen him
like this since he saw
that Rocky Dennis movie.
359
00:16:04,947 --> 00:16:07,881
Take off the mask!
That's your problem!
360
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:09,133
Right?
361
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:16,441
That's it, Brian.
He's not here.
362
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,787
None of these bears are Rupert.
363
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,543
Stewie...
364
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,132
You don't
have to say it, Brian.
I know.
365
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:26,951
So this is what it feels like
to be a grown-up, huh?
366
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,619
All alone in the world.
367
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,421
Look, Stewie,
nothing lasts forever.
368
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,824
You and Rupert had
some special times together,
369
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,060
and you'll always have that.
370
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:40,289
What the deuce?
What's that noise?
I don't know.
371
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,325
Oh, my God! Brian, look!
372
00:16:54,864 --> 00:16:56,264
That's him! That's Rupert!
373
00:16:56,332 --> 00:16:58,210
How do you know?
You can't hear him
calling me?
374
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,354
He's calling me, clear as day!
375
00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:02,403
Oh! Yeah,
now I hear him.
376
00:17:02,472 --> 00:17:04,672
Rupert, yes,
we're here to rescue you!
377
00:17:04,741 --> 00:17:05,951
Stewie, wait!
It's too dangerous!
378
00:17:05,975 --> 00:17:07,942
I won't let it
end like this, Brian!
379
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,975
Don't you give up on me, Rupert!
380
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,684
Hang on, Stewie!
Maybe I can help!
381
00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:28,323
Maybe I can use this helicopter
382
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:29,891
to knock Rupert off
the conveyor belt...
383
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,249
Ahh! Son of a bitch!
384
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,012
Recall room, Brian.
Nothing works in here.
385
00:17:33,036 --> 00:17:34,680
Now come on!
Rupert's in trouble!
386
00:17:34,704 --> 00:17:36,754
Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming.
387
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:46,397
Almost there.
You can do this, Stewie.
388
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,988
Damn it!
389
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,758
Brian, do something!
390
00:18:50,146 --> 00:18:52,413
Oh, Rupert!
Thank God you're alive!
391
00:18:53,449 --> 00:18:55,816
I'm ready now.
392
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,985
I'm ready to get off the pill.
393
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,021
I think we should start trying.
394
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:07,580
Look, Peter,
I think there's something
we should talk about.
395
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:09,763
I'm not reading the last page
of that dinosaur book.
396
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:11,465
I know something
bad happens to 'em.
397
00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:15,186
No, Peter,
we need to talk about
this situation with the guys.
398
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:18,489
Look, of course
I like hanging out
with Joe and Quagmire.
399
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,325
But I like hanging out
with you more.
400
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,272
I mean, it's nice
to make new friends,
401
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:26,864
but not if it means
losing the best friend
I've ever had.
402
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:29,850
Yeah, well, I was probably
kind of a jerk, too.
403
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:33,187
I guess I shouldn't be
telling you who you can
and can't be friends with.
404
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,986
Hey, you guys want
to go with me and Joe
to the roller derby?
405
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,688
It's great. You get to
see big, husky chicks
406
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,312
elbow each other
right in the jugs.
407
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,980
Oh, that sounds like fun.
408
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,431
Yeah, and I'm bringing my grill
409
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,001
so we can eat corn
in the parking lot
before we go in.
410
00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:48,280
What do you say?
Who's in?
411
00:19:48,304 --> 00:19:51,021
Sounds great!
Yeah, that'll be really...
412
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:57,745
You know what, you guys?
I think I'm gonna
just stay in tonight.
413
00:19:57,814 --> 00:20:00,380
I got a huge stack
of coupons to go through.
414
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,350
Plus, I'm planning on having
my period really hard later,
415
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,330
and I want to be
in the tub when it happens.
416
00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:07,154
You what?
Gross.
417
00:20:07,223 --> 00:20:08,723
Oh, I get it.
418
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:11,670
Guys, I think Lois
is getting a visit
from her Aunt Period.
419
00:20:11,694 --> 00:20:13,538
Yeah, and lots of other
chick stuff
420
00:20:13,562 --> 00:20:16,030
you guys wouldn't
be interested in.
421
00:20:16,098 --> 00:20:18,832
Peter, go have fun
with your friends.
422
00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:20,634
Thanks, Lois.
423
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,374
Oh, hey, Brian.
Where have you been?
424
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,321
Oh, just reuniting
some old friends.
425
00:20:29,345 --> 00:20:30,645
Huh. Me, too.
426
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:32,346
Feels good, doesn't it?
427
00:20:32,414 --> 00:20:33,631
Sure does.
428
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,736
I love you, Rupert.
Don't you ever leave me again.
429
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,848
Mom, Stewie's dead.
33519
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