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1
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,857
It was awfully nice
of our new neighbors
to invite us over for dinner.
2
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,637
I don't know, Lois.
Going to Cleveland's house
3
00:00:10,661 --> 00:00:12,906
with someone else
living there
just seems weird.
4
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:15,363
Like when a new pope
moves into the Vatican.
5
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:17,377
Hi, I don't know who
to complain to about this,
6
00:00:17,401 --> 00:00:20,502
but I'm still getting
XVIII's mail.
7
00:00:20,571 --> 00:00:24,005
Yeah, no.
No, he's not here anymore,
this is XXIV.
8
00:00:24,074 --> 00:00:26,374
Yeah, no, I don't need Newsweek.
9
00:00:26,444 --> 00:00:28,911
No, I don't need
National Geographic.
10
00:00:28,979 --> 00:00:31,546
No... Yeah,
we'll hang on to Boys' Life.
11
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,566
Hello, neighbors.
12
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:36,101
Joe, you can walk.
13
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:39,137
How do you do?
I'm Stan Smith.
Please, come in.
14
00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:44,142
I'm so glad everyone
could make it.
15
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,577
Stan, I need $50.
16
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:48,880
They're selling a biopsy of
Celine Dion's uterus on eBay.
17
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,560
What the hell
kind of dog is that?
18
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,734
I was going to ask
the same thing.
19
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,670
That's our alien, Roger.
20
00:00:54,738 --> 00:00:56,949
He lives in our attic,
but nobody can know.
21
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,191
And don't tell
anybody about our attic.
22
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,670
Hello?
23
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,040
Hey, Quagmire.
Hey, you're not
gonna believe this.
24
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,463
I'm over here with Joe,
and he's got a space alien.
25
00:01:12,422 --> 00:01:15,457
Peter, wake up.
You're having a nightmare.
26
00:01:15,525 --> 00:01:16,591
Lois.
27
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,510
Thank God, it was just a dream.
28
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:22,430
Hey. Lois,
what's that fat man
doing in our bed?
29
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,099
Damn it, I always wake up
30
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:28,303
before I find out
if they can
understand the baby.
31
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,557
Thanks for helping me
set up this jungle gym, guys.
32
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,805
Lois says Stewie's been
getting a little chunky.
33
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,329
Ugh! Everybody's always
commenting on my weight.
34
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,615
This is why I almost
died from anorexia.
35
00:02:16,453 --> 00:02:20,355
You look fat.
36
00:02:20,424 --> 00:02:22,586
All right,
I got the monkey bars
all put together.
37
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:25,377
God, look at that,
they already got
al-Qaedas all over them.
38
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,096
Get out of here. Scat!
39
00:02:28,165 --> 00:02:31,700
Man, they're gonna be
so good at swinging
bar-to-bar when they invade.
40
00:02:31,769 --> 00:02:34,703
Wow, Quagmire, how did you
build that part so fast?
41
00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:36,650
It was easy. I just
followed the instructions.
42
00:02:36,674 --> 00:02:37,918
I couldn't find
the English ones.
43
00:02:37,942 --> 00:02:39,686
These are in Latin
and those stuffy
44
00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:41,421
Ivy League professors
won't help me.
45
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,146
Nullum gratuitum prandium,
Peter?
46
00:02:45,215 --> 00:02:48,015
Yeah?
Why don't you catch
a football, you nerds?
47
00:02:48,886 --> 00:02:50,235
Nerds.
48
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,182
No, I just read the back,
where it's printed in French.
49
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,338
You speak French?
50
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,856
Sure, they love me in France.
51
00:02:57,327 --> 00:02:59,227
Oh, Quagmire!
Shh! Quagmire!
52
00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:00,929
Silence! C'est Quagmire.
53
00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:09,637
Quagmire.
54
00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:10,817
Ah, Quagmire.
55
00:03:10,841 --> 00:03:13,475
Quagmire, don't fall
near the mouse trap.
56
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,204
Yeah, and French
also comes in handy
57
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,806
when I have layovers
in Montreal.
58
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,029
That place is the best.
59
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,792
I always wanted to go to Canada,
60
00:03:19,816 --> 00:03:21,911
but then South Park went,
so we couldn't go.
61
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,579
Man, you guys should
come with me sometime.
62
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,843
Montreal has the best
strip clubs in the world.
63
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,789
They do?
Yeah, they're unbelievable.
64
00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:29,569
The girls up in
Canada are gorgeous.
65
00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:32,527
And they all play ice hockey,
so they lose their teeth
by age 10.
66
00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:33,695
Wow.
67
00:03:33,764 --> 00:03:35,441
In fact, I'd even go
so far as to say
68
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,634
that a Canadian strip club
is the most magical
place in the world.
69
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,355
♪ Nip nip here, nip nip there
70
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,174
♪ And a bevy of porno stars
71
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,438
♪ There's jugs and mugs
of Molson beer
72
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,596
♪ In Canadian nudie bars
73
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,530
♪ Dirty hos put on shows
74
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,444
♪ And a lot of 'em
don't have scars
75
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,579
♪ They'll even
take it up the nose
76
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,119
♪ In Canadian nudie bars
77
00:03:58,188 --> 00:03:59,804
♪ You can touch
and squeeze 'em
78
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,307
♪ They don't even care
79
00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:05,227
♪ Would theyeven dye their pubesto match my hair?
80
00:04:05,295 --> 00:04:06,973
♪ Uh-huh
♪ Color me there
81
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,763
♪ Do like me, say "Oui-Oui"
82
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,810
♪ And tell them you're
a friend of Bill Maher's
83
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,734
♪ That's how you'll
get to watch them pee
84
00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:14,769
♪ In Canadian nudie bars
85
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:15,970
♪ Ah-ha-ha
86
00:04:16,039 --> 00:04:17,083
♪ Ho-ho-ho
87
00:04:17,107 --> 00:04:18,751
♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha
♪ Ohh
88
00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:20,926
♪ A guy can get
his hockey pucked
89
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,377
♪ In Canadian nudie bars ♪
90
00:04:24,881 --> 00:04:27,182
Wow, that sounds amazing.
It is.
91
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:29,162
And the best thing about
Montreal strip clubs
92
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,281
is you're never
the most pathetic guy
in the bar.
93
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:32,804
If you weigh 300 pounds,
94
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:35,973
they'll hire a guy
to sit next to you
who weighs 350 pounds.
95
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,409
And if you're a paraplegic?
96
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,777
They'll have a quadriplegic.
97
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,423
Or a bag of rocks
with a bow tie.
98
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,246
That sounds incredible.
We got to go.
99
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,327
Yeah, will you take us,
Quagmire? Please?
100
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,483
All right, let's do it!
101
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,229
But I don't want
to get any crap
from your wives
102
00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:48,765
about me taking you
to a strip joint.
103
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,900
So you guys are gonna have to
lie about where we're going.
104
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,884
Okay, sure.
Yeah, no problem.
I'm a great liar.
105
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,830
Okay, we're good this way.
Is it clear in your direction?
106
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,668
Yep.
107
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,184
We now return to
Stabbed in the Butt,
108
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,486
the only game show where
if you get the answer wrong,
109
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:11,876
you get stabbed in the butt.
110
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,878
All right, Bradley,
here's your question.
111
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,681
What is the atomic
weight of nitrogen?
112
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:21,019
Get him, guys!
Stab him in the butt!
113
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,999
Okay, bye, you guys.
I'm leaving now.
114
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,657
Peter, tell me again
why you're going to Montreal?
115
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,303
Hey, do I give you
the third degree
116
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,877
every time you go for one of
those luxurious mammograms?
117
00:05:29,947 --> 00:05:31,746
Dad, why can't we all go?
118
00:05:31,815 --> 00:05:33,326
Because somebody's
got to stay here
119
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:35,631
and round up all
these rattlesnakes.
120
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,286
Bye.
121
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,843
Hey, guys. Check it out.
What do you think?
122
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:47,846
A private plane?
How'd you swing that,
Quagmire?
123
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,215
Well, let's just say
I walked in on John Travolta
124
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,234
with not Kelly Preston.
125
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:55,269
Oh, my God,
this plane is awesome,
Quagmire.
126
00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:56,738
Hey, who's that?
127
00:05:56,807 --> 00:05:58,139
That's J. Private Planington.
128
00:05:58,208 --> 00:05:59,641
He invented private planes.
129
00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:02,077
He was also the world's
foremost squid hunter.
130
00:06:02,145 --> 00:06:04,065
I've got a lot
of big ideas, too,
131
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,994
but everybody's just so jealous.
132
00:06:08,384 --> 00:06:09,684
Boy, this is nice.
133
00:06:09,752 --> 00:06:11,719
I wonder what
the inflight movie is?
134
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,100
Joe, it's a private plane.
There is no inflight movie.
135
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,958
Instead, Topher Grace himself
comes out to entertain you.
136
00:06:17,027 --> 00:06:20,461
Hey, guys, as you
probably already know,
I'm Topher Grace.
137
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,364
So, I'm here to answer
any question you have.
138
00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:26,267
Personal, life, career.
I'm an open book.
139
00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:28,269
No questions.
140
00:06:28,338 --> 00:06:30,471
Hey, Joe, I'm gonna
go check out the john.
141
00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:35,560
Oh, my God,
have you seen this?
Look how fancy this thing is.
142
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,673
They even got a special map
that lets you choose
143
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,657
who you want to
dump your poop on.
144
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,284
Geez, the synagogue button's
almost worn out.
145
00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:48,718
Oh, my God, Joe,
there's a man on the wing.
146
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,542
Peter, there's no
man on the wing.
147
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:53,478
There is! I saw him!
Peter, stop being ridiculous.
148
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,725
I'm telling you,
lift up the shade.
There's a man on the wing.
149
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,515
Fine.
150
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,751
It's me.
I'm the man on the wing.
151
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:01,786
Peter, how the hell
did you get out there?
152
00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:03,988
Are you crazy?
Get back in here, Peter!
153
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,112
What the hell's
going on back there?
We're losing altitude.
154
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:13,626
Hang on, you guys,
I don't know if I can pull
out of this. Giggity!
155
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:17,118
Wow, from up here,
everything looks
so huge and coming faster.
156
00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:34,602
What happened?
Did we crash?
157
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:35,870
Yeah, we crashed.
158
00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:37,505
Wow.
159
00:07:37,574 --> 00:07:40,186
Still, you know,
we saved so much trouble
not flying commercial,
160
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,976
I think we came out ahead.
Sure.
161
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,689
Drive right up to the plane.
Exactly.
162
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:47,449
If we went to Logan,
that plane wouldn't crash
for another hour at least.
163
00:07:49,619 --> 00:07:51,286
They made pretty good time.
164
00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:58,688
I'm bored.
165
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,779
Peter, you made me
crash the damn plane!
166
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,358
Okay, I know you're
a pilot and everything,
167
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:06,818
but not everyone
likes to talk about planes
as much as you, Quagmire.
168
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,771
Well, we're out
of cell phone range
and the radio's shot.
169
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:11,373
This is not good.
170
00:08:11,441 --> 00:08:13,353
No one knows we're out here,
and we've got
no food or water.
171
00:08:13,377 --> 00:08:15,510
Relax, Quagmire,
there's food all around us.
172
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,499
The trick is just knowing
what's safe to eat
and what's not.
173
00:08:23,386 --> 00:08:24,686
Okay, these are a maybe.
174
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,420
You guys,
I think, for the time being,
175
00:08:26,489 --> 00:08:29,190
we're gonna have to start
thinking in terms of survival.
176
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,537
Yeah,
we're just gonna have to do
what Davy Crockett would do.
177
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:34,189
I mean,
that guy killed a bear
when he was only three.
178
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:35,491
Honey, don't you
think it's weird
179
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,882
that our three-year-old son
is murdering animals?
180
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,396
Nonsense.
He's a healthy,
normal, young boy.
181
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,588
Ma, Pa, I killed my pet raccoon.
182
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,156
Why, Davy?
183
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,836
So I could have this cool hat
184
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,020
and 'cause it
felt like heaven
when I was doing it.
185
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,214
Well, it's getting dark.
We should probably
start a fire.
186
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,604
Man, how do we do that?
187
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,284
Hey, do you think
there's directions
188
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,719
about starting fires
in the song
We Didn't Start the Fire?
189
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:04,809
I don't think so.
190
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,155
I better go through it all.
191
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,824
♪ Stuff, stuff,
stuff and stuff
192
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,447
♪ History and stuff and stuff
193
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:12,294
♪ People, people,someone's nameHistory and sports
194
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,752
♪ Big disaster, someone's name
195
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,364
♪ Stuff and stuff
and stuff and stuff
196
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,855
♪ History, someone's name
197
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,623
♪ Something I don't know
198
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,370
♪ Famous guy, movie starDon't know whothese people are
199
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,827
♪ Stuff and stuff and history
200
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,295
♪ Yelling really loud at me! ♪
201
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,084
Okay, how's the fire coming?
202
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,280
Okay, this should work.
If it rains,
203
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,649
at least we know
we can stay dry.
204
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:33,705
Yeah.
205
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,284
So, now our
number one concern is
206
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,786
that predators are
watching our body heat.
207
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:40,245
Peter, that's just a movie.
That's not real.
208
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,624
No, I think we need to cover
209
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,259
ourselves in mud
to avoid being seen.
210
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,760
Peter, Joe's right.
That's only a movie.
211
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,229
Oh, God, somebody farted!
212
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,119
It stinks!
213
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:51,587
We should notrule out the predatorhaving been the farter.
214
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,992
Okay, we still got
nothing to eat,
215
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,381
so it looks like we're gonna
have to hunt animals for food.
216
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,531
And since we have no weapons,
I set up some traps
and snares.
217
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,177
Well, I was about
to take a leak.
218
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,001
Can I go in that direction?
Yes.
219
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,670
No.
220
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,205
Damn it, my legs!
I think they're broken!
221
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,824
Yay, Joe.
Now you have a friend.
222
00:10:14,131 --> 00:10:15,891
Damn it, Peter,
this is all your fault.
223
00:10:15,932 --> 00:10:18,900
Listen,
I wish you had a family
to take care of you, too,
224
00:10:18,968 --> 00:10:20,713
but that's a choice you made.
225
00:10:20,737 --> 00:10:21,903
Here you go, guys.
226
00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:25,507
First time in a while
I've had wood in my lap.
227
00:10:25,575 --> 00:10:28,154
Are we supposed
to laugh at that?
'Cause it's upsetting.
228
00:10:28,178 --> 00:10:29,755
Man, being out here sucks.
229
00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:31,457
I mean, I'm not a forest guy.
230
00:10:31,481 --> 00:10:34,841
I'm more of
a take-it-all-in-
at-the-beach guy.
231
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:40,338
Excuse me, sir.
This is private property.
What are you doing?
232
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,640
Just taking it all in.
233
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,775
You're staring
at my daughter's bedroom.
234
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,711
She's really grown
into her body.
235
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:49,013
This is gonna be
a fun summer for her.
236
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,393
You guys,
we've been out here
a couple of days now,
237
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,651
and I don't think anyone's
coming to get us.
238
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,764
It might be time for
one of us to go for help.
239
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,322
Well, what do you want us to do?
240
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,990
Peter's the only
one who can walk.
241
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:02,305
What? You want me to
just walk out there,
straight into the woods?
242
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:06,264
Peter, if you don't,
the only other option is
we sit here and wait to die.
243
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,900
All right, I'll do it.
244
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:12,048
If I just keep walking,
I gotta hit civilization
at some point, right?
245
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,872
Thanks, Peter.
Yeah.
246
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,340
And good luck.
247
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:20,528
Listen, in case I die out there,
248
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,808
I need you guys
to know something.
249
00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:25,912
I've been fake
brushing my teeth
for the last 20 years.
250
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:29,937
Uh-oh.
251
00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:31,071
What?
252
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,907
Well, I hate to ask
you this, Quagmire,
253
00:11:32,975 --> 00:11:34,742
but do you know how
to change a diaper?
254
00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:36,455
Yeah, of course I know
how to change a diaper.
255
00:11:36,479 --> 00:11:38,395
I saw Mr. Mom four times.
256
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,436
That's not how you dry a baby.
257
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,239
He has to do it 'cause
his wife has the job.
258
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,241
But motherhood's a job.
259
00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:52,160
Motherhood's a job too, though.
260
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,380
Morning.
261
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,993
What the hell!
Where'd you come from?
262
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,550
Yeah, what are you
doing out here in
the middle of nowhere?
263
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,464
Middle of nowhere?
No, I live right
over there.
264
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:06,157
What? A plane crashes
in your backyard,
and you don't say anything?
265
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,691
This is Canada, eh.
266
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,139
I thought it might
be rude to intrude
on your plane crash.
267
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,530
Well, this is great news!
We're saved!
268
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:13,898
Yes, I suppose so.
269
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,912
Listen, why don't we
head back to my place,
270
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:19,248
grab a bite to eat
and watch the big
curling match on TV?
271
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,752
Canada is in
the world final
against Mexico.
272
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:29,680
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
273
00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:38,584
Okay, well, we have to
grab our friend, Peter.
274
00:12:38,608 --> 00:12:40,352
He just headed out
that way to get help.
275
00:12:40,376 --> 00:12:42,243
Oh, that's not good.
276
00:12:42,312 --> 00:12:43,822
There's nothing
in that direction
277
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,791
but wilderness for
thousands of kilometers.
278
00:12:45,815 --> 00:12:47,114
What? You're kidding.
279
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,816
Oh, crap. Peter!
280
00:12:48,884 --> 00:12:51,385
Peter, come back! Peter!
281
00:12:51,454 --> 00:12:54,388
Peter! Peter!
282
00:12:54,457 --> 00:12:56,174
I think he's gone.
283
00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:10,115
I'm afraid he might
not have survived,
Mrs. Griffin.
284
00:13:10,139 --> 00:13:11,817
We've been searching
these woods for weeks.
285
00:13:11,841 --> 00:13:15,176
We've got to keep looking.
He's got to be
out there somewhere.
286
00:13:15,244 --> 00:13:16,789
Oh, my God, we're in Canada.
287
00:13:16,813 --> 00:13:18,958
I get to use my new passport.
288
00:13:18,982 --> 00:13:21,248
I hope my picture looks okay.
289
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:23,585
That's Liam Hemsworth.
290
00:13:23,653 --> 00:13:26,365
No, it's not. It's me.
It's just
a really good angle.
291
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,670
God, just look
for Peter. God.
292
00:13:31,193 --> 00:13:32,593
I'm sorry,
Mrs. Griffin,
293
00:13:32,662 --> 00:13:34,862
there's been no sign
of your husband
for two months.
294
00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:36,564
We're gonna have to
suspend our search.
295
00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:39,083
But there's got to be
something we can do.
296
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,851
Well, the odds were
always against us.
297
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,787
Most black men
don't possess the skills
298
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,755
to survive out here
in the wilderness.
299
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,524
My husband isn't black.
300
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:47,825
Oh, boy.
301
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,895
Well, then, we need
to regroup, because...
302
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,463
We haven't been looking.
303
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,583
Wait! We may have
a possible lead
on Peter Griffin!
304
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,829
What? Oh, my God,
where is he?
305
00:13:57,853 --> 00:14:00,888
Well, we didn't find him,
but we found this.
306
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,576
And there's some
scribbling on the back
that says, "Mrs. G."
307
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,946
We figured "G" has to
stand for "Griffin."
308
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,599
No. That "G"
isn't for "Griffin."
309
00:14:11,668 --> 00:14:13,200
It's for "Garrett."
310
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,837
This is Mrs. Garrett
from The Facts Of Life.
311
00:14:15,905 --> 00:14:18,906
And Diff'rent Strokes.
Why does everyone forget that?
312
00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:20,741
Kids, your father made this.
313
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,026
That's so weird.
314
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,428
Dad gets lost in the woods,
and he makes a doll?
315
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,829
It's not that strange.
316
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:28,459
It's kind of
what Tom Hanks did
in Castaway.
317
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:36,073
I'm sorry, Wilson!
318
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,427
Right here is where
we found the doll.
319
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:48,352
Okay, everybody fan out
and look for your father.
320
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,832
Peter!
Peter!
321
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,505
Dad!
Fat-ass!
322
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,429
Peter?
323
00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:08,823
Thank God!
We found you!
Are you okay?
324
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,677
What the hell!
325
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,346
It looks like he's become
some kind of feral beast.
326
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,747
Oh, my God!
327
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,553
I can't live by
society's rules, either.
328
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,266
Mom, I still don't get it.
329
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,575
How could Dad turn into
some kind of feral creature
330
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,281
just from two months
in the wilderness?
331
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,572
Yeah, it's weird.
He doesn't even talk.
332
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,208
Well, he was living among
wild animals for two months,
333
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,477
and you know
how impressionable
your dad can be.
334
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,414
Hmm...
335
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,752
Peter, this is your home.
336
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:58,400
This is the couch where you sit.
337
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:05,796
Yes, that's the television.
338
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,185
Kids, I think he
recognizes the TV.
339
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:13,070
We're all thinking it,
and he just does it.
340
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,840
You guys, this is gonna
be harder than we thought.
341
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,042
I guess we're all just gonna
have to work together
342
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,979
to reintroduce your father
to civilized society.
343
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,591
Well, that's gonna
be a challenge.
344
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:26,017
But it can't be any harder
than folding that
thousand-mile-long sheet.
345
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,035
All right, I got my corner.
Everybody ready?
346
00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:29,487
Ready. Chris?
347
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:30,905
Ready. Meg?
348
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,431
You know, long ago,
before this happened,
349
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,568
your father did
make some videos
in case he ever became feral.
350
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,337
I guess they're worth a shot.
351
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,140
Hello, feral Peter.
352
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,287
If you're listening to this,
you've probably become feral,
353
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,440
and you're probablythinking of a nice,juicy rabbit right now.
354
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,209
But this isn't who
you really are, Peter.
355
00:16:58,233 --> 00:17:01,135
We got to getyou back on track.Isn't that right, buddy?
356
00:17:02,839 --> 00:17:04,355
Look, it's working!
357
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,257
Okay, good. So, feral Peter,
358
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:09,325
why don't you put intape number twoand let's get started.
359
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,612
Don't listen to that Peter!
That Peter is a liar!
360
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,803
Run! Be free!
They will enslave you!
361
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:31,260
All right, now, I've been
trying to figure out something
we can do together,
362
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,717
and I think I've found it.
We're gonna sing a song.
363
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:37,488
Now, I'll start,
and when I point to you,
you'll sing your part. Ready?
364
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,101
♪ War!
365
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:42,025
♪ Yeah!
What is it good for?
366
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,527
♪ Absolutely nothing! ♪
367
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,430
Okay, all right, good job.
Now, let's try something else.
368
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,732
♪ I wanna get you home and...
369
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,412
Double up.
370
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,847
Okay,
I like where this is going.
Let's take it from the top.
371
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,457
♪ I like big butts
and I cannot lie ♪
372
00:17:58,761 --> 00:18:00,093
Well, good night, Brian.
373
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,603
Wait. Is Peter
not coming to bed?
374
00:18:01,631 --> 00:18:04,365
No. He's active at night
because it's cooler.
375
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,340
Damn it,
he's in the garbage again.
376
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,061
Oh, my God!
377
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,230
Come on!
Get out of the trash.
378
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,267
Who threw out my sequin top?
379
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,119
You're 43! Accept it!
380
00:18:32,294 --> 00:18:34,261
Hey, Lois.
Hi, Glenn.
381
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,642
We just thought
we'd come by and see
how Peter was doing.
382
00:18:36,666 --> 00:18:37,843
Yeah, has he gotten any better?
383
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:38,966
I'm afraid not.
384
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,163
He's still only
speaking gibberish.
385
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,165
Yeah, and we could live
without the semen throwing,
386
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,299
I'll tell you that.
387
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,722
I don't know what else to do.
388
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,058
We've tried everything
to bring the old Peter back,
389
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,677
but we can't
break through to him.
390
00:18:50,746 --> 00:18:53,480
Lois, I think
you've done all you can.
391
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,048
Hard as it is to admit,
392
00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:57,651
it might be time to let
Peter be where he belongs.
393
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,220
What do you mean, Brian?
394
00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:01,755
We might have to release
Peter back into the wild.
395
00:19:01,824 --> 00:19:03,924
What!
We can't do that.
396
00:19:03,992 --> 00:19:05,559
We'll never see him again!
397
00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:08,061
Eh, enough time passes,
you'll forget all about him.
398
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:11,198
Just like
Inspector Gadget forgot
about that one-night stand.
399
00:19:11,267 --> 00:19:14,268
Suzanne,
we have to talk.
Okay.
400
00:19:14,337 --> 00:19:16,348
Someone has made
contact with me.
401
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:20,474
Someone from my past,
and, well, long story short,
402
00:19:20,543 --> 00:19:23,227
go, go, Guatemalan son.
403
00:19:29,685 --> 00:19:32,820
Peter, we all love you
very much,
404
00:19:32,888 --> 00:19:35,355
but we think maybe
this is where you belong
405
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,124
and where you'll be happy.
406
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,753
This is barely even a forest.
407
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:40,977
I can see an Arby's
through the trees.
408
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,681
You're free, Peter.
409
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,694
Whatever adventures
lie ahead of you,
410
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,219
know that my heart
will always be with you.
411
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,806
Now, go! Go on!
Get out of here!
412
00:19:57,496 --> 00:19:59,930
I always knew
one day this would happen.
413
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:03,517
We will never forget you,
but you're better off here.
414
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,652
Why are we dragging this out?
It's 6:30.
415
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,838
Go ahead, Peter.
Go on!
416
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,556
Be with your own kind!
417
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:16,046
We're all gonna miss you, Dad!
More than you know!
418
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,753
What?
My God, I...
419
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,655
I think he's trying
to talk to you.
420
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,801
Quick, Meg!
Say something else!
421
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,626
Well, okay.
422
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:30,127
I love you, Dad,
423
00:20:30,195 --> 00:20:33,047
and no matter where you are,
you'll always be my father.
424
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:39,202
Shut up, Meg.
425
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:42,334
I don't believe it!
Peter, you talked!
426
00:20:42,358 --> 00:20:44,658
Shut up, Meg.
427
00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:46,393
Shut up, Meg.
428
00:20:46,929 --> 00:20:48,929
Shut up, Meg.
429
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,232
Shut up, Meg.
430
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:52,711
Peter!
Dad!
431
00:20:52,735 --> 00:20:54,655
- You're back!
- Yay.
432
00:20:57,639 --> 00:20:58,739
Jim.
433
00:20:59,775 --> 00:21:02,343
Your name is Jim.
434
00:21:02,411 --> 00:21:03,978
Close enough, Peter!
435
00:21:04,046 --> 00:21:06,013
Come on, you guys,
let's go home!
436
00:21:07,549 --> 00:21:08,565
Yeah!
437
00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:12,920
Is she letting him drive?
438
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,843
Boy, I sure am happy to be back.
439
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,278
Yeah, Peter, we thought
we'd lost you for good.
440
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,246
And luckily,
I don't know many words,
441
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:25,226
so I was able to
relearn them all in a day.
442
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,228
Don't ever leave us again, Dad.
443
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:28,830
Sorry, Chris, but this weekend,
444
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:31,087
Quagmire's taking me
to a Canadian strip club.
445
00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:34,959
He said he's put together
a very special surprise,
just for me.
446
00:21:35,028 --> 00:21:36,671
Mesdames et monsieurs,
447
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:39,380
all the way from America,
please welcome
448
00:21:39,448 --> 00:21:41,715
Miss Charlotte Rae!
449
00:21:43,452 --> 00:21:45,652
Mrs. Garrett!
Mrs. Garrett!
450
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,088
Girls, girls, girls!
35077
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