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1
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:28,093
[ FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPENS ]
2
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:31,330
LAUREN: Yes. Uh-huh.
I'm not kidding.
3
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,199
That's where this "class act"
brought me.
4
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,503
Yeah, you heard me.
Hooters.
5
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:41,473
This is the first date
I've been on since the divorce,
6
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:44,309
and the guy brings me
to a Hooters.
7
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,511
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
8
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:46,378
Is Tyler asleep?
9
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,548
Whoa! Oh, yeah! Whoo!
10
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,783
Not all the way.
11
00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:52,017
What's he doing?
Yeah!
12
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,853
♪ This t-shirt's
on fire! ♪
13
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,655
Why is he singing that?
14
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,491
[ ROBOTICALLY ]
Must save planet earth.
15
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,461
No, it's all good.
16
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,296
It's out.
What's out?!
17
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:05,864
Oh, God, I'm coming home.
18
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,199
Intruder alert.
19
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,137
[ WHIMPERS ]
20
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:15,007
Yeah, maybe that's
not actually a bad idea.
21
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:16,241
Okay, here's the plan.
22
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,810
You're gonna call me
in 10 minutes
23
00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:21,146
so that I can tell this dope
I have an emergency.
24
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,849
[ NORMAL VOICE ] Can you
give me my bath now?
25
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,518
Make it five minutes.
26
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,320
♪ I ain't complainin' ♪
27
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:32,024
♪ but I'd sure like to find me ♪
28
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,293
♪ a true, fine love ♪
29
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,961
♪ someone another ♪
30
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,263
♪ that's as sweet
as your mother ♪
31
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,533
♪ a true, fine love ♪
32
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:45,370
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
33
00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:01,887
Got you, uh, buffalo shrimp
with the sauce on the side.
34
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,455
They'll do that
for me here.
35
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,190
I didn't know
how you took it, so...
36
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:08,127
You realize that
you're not actually
37
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,529
looking at my face
right now.
38
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,098
Very tight game goin' on up
there. I don't wanna miss it.
39
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,933
ANNOUNCER: Well, I know youreally gotta swing the axe hard
40
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,736
to get those, uh, hits in deepon this quick turn.
41
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,104
Hi, Jim.
42
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,273
WOMAN: Hey, Jim.
WOMAN #2: Hey, Jim.
43
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:24,143
Cheese sticks
in the shape of a heart.
44
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,879
From me, bunny, Bethany,
and Britney.
45
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,948
Thank you, bubbles.
That's very nice.
46
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,850
Bye.
Have fun.
See ya.
47
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,519
[ CHUCKLING ] All right.
48
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:37,222
Hey, I noticed that you made
eye contact with boobles,
49
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,657
but I'm... I mean,
I'm not sure it was her eyes
50
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,925
you were looking at.
51
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:45,697
So...
52
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:50,035
You... Organize closets
for a living.
53
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,304
Yes.
Is it hard to find people
54
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,806
who can't organize
their own closets?
55
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,241
How does that work?
56
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,677
Well, it's not that they can't
do it for themselves.
57
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,512
It's that they don't
have the time
58
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,080
or they don't do it
efficiently.
59
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:05,350
Did you start with organizing
glove compartments
60
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,419
and just work your way up
from there, or...?
61
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:13,192
Listen, I'm sorry.
I know this is not going well.
62
00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,593
[ CHUCKLING ] I, uh...
63
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,496
I haven't been on a date
in 20 years.
64
00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:22,601
I haven't been on a date
since senior year.
65
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,736
You get married in college?
66
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,004
Yep.
67
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,506
Me too.
68
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,341
Really?
Yes.
69
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,577
Is this not the weirdest feeling
in the world right now?
70
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:35,514
Like weird Al
starring in "weird science."
71
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,050
[ CHUCKLING ] Yes.
I like that.
72
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,351
You just came up
with that?
73
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,888
Yes.
Very good.
74
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:47,593
You know, I think I will have
one of these buffalo shrimp.
75
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,828
And I'll have it
with the sauce.
76
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,396
Excellent.
77
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,735
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
78
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:57,836
Oh, my God.
79
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,771
[ COUGHING ] Oh, my God.
80
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:00,806
It's hot.
81
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,609
Oh, my God!
Who makes sauce this hot?!
82
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:06,178
I just...
did you drink my beer?!
83
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,613
No. No, no.
I think you did.
84
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:11,583
Boobles! Buddy! Britney!
Can you get me some water?!
85
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,652
Here. Have
some French onion soup.
86
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,421
[ GURGLING ]
87
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:20,192
[ SPITS ]
88
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:22,060
You know... I'm curious.
89
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,529
With so many
possible reasons,
90
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:28,267
which one's the one
your wife left you for?
91
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:31,637
Cancer.
92
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:38,043
I'm sorry.
93
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:43,882
I...Naturally just assumed
you were divorced.
94
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,851
It's okay.
95
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,487
I naturally assumed
your husband shot himself,
96
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,389
so we're even.
97
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,557
[ SIGHS ]
[ CELLPHONE PLAYS TONE ]
98
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:56,762
I gotta take this.
99
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,230
Hello.
100
00:04:58,232 --> 00:05:00,832
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Calm down!
101
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:04,069
An avalanche?
In our backyard.
102
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,471
I'll be home right away.
103
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,341
It's an emergency.
I'm sorry.
104
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,878
$20 should cover my half.
105
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,448
JEN: He used
the emergency excuse on you?
106
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,451
Like he's the one
that had to escape.
107
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,653
Like I'm so horrible.
Huh.
108
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,256
Well, everybody has
a bad blind-date story,
109
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:25,590
and this loser is yours.
110
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,392
Who set you up?
[ SCOFFS ]
111
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,561
One of the mothers
in Tyler's class.
112
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,796
Every time I see her,
113
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,198
she tells me
about her "friend Jim."
114
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,634
And "oh, I just have to
meet Jim."
115
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,703
Well, she's a liar
and an idiot.
116
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:40,372
You should roofie her
and shave her head.
117
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:42,908
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
118
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,209
Dick?
119
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,545
Hi.
120
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,046
No, I can talk.
I'm just at work.
121
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,481
Great.
122
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,850
[ CHUCKLES ]
I know. I'm so sore.
123
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,486
[ GIGGLES ]
124
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,856
I-I "l" word you, too.
125
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,960
Okay.
Talk to you later. Bye.
126
00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:07,099
Did you just use
the "l" word with dick?
127
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,767
We said it last night.
128
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:12,371
Jen! That's great!
Why didn't you tell me?
129
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,005
Oh, you know.
130
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,074
I mean, you finally went
on a date, and it was so awful.
131
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,876
I didn't want
to make you feel lonelier
132
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,578
than you probably
already feel.
133
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:22,647
No, I'm fine, actually.
And I'm not lonely.
134
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:26,251
I have two wonderful men
in my life, Brendan and Tyler.
135
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:29,554
Brendan needs a girlfriend,
and Tyler needs ritalin.
136
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,690
You're suggesting sex
and drugs
137
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,393
as a remedy
for my children's behavior?
138
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,794
[ GASPS ]
Oh, my God.
139
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,397
This is the dress
I've been wanting forever!
140
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:39,564
Oh.
141
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,800
What?! No!
[ SCOFFS ]
142
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,402
Who has
that kind of money?
143
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,669
Dick.
144
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,339
Try this on.
This is a total milf dress.
145
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,241
We don't try on
the clients' clothes.
146
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:50,642
It's one
of our selling points.
147
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,444
"We won't wear
your underwear
148
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,513
while we're organizing
your closets."
149
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:57,516
I'm just sayin'.
Back to work.
150
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,051
I think right at the bottom
of this rack,
151
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,254
we could fit some
more shoes and storage.
152
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,388
Jen!
153
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:06,792
Kanye, come
and change the baby.
154
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:07,926
North is wet,
155
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,228
and I don't want to drop her
on camera again.
156
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,497
[ LAUGHS ]
157
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,066
Okay, take it off.
No.
158
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,836
Look, this whole rack
still has the price tags on.
159
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,372
Technically, she hasn't
taken ownership yet.
160
00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:22,040
And besides,
she's at the tennis club.
161
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,508
Now, try this on.
162
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:27,045
This dress can change a woman
from the kind a man cheats on
163
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,214
to the kind
a man cheats with.
164
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,549
[ CHUCKLES ]
165
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:33,885
I'm gonna go pee.
166
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,993
Expensive. Expensive.
167
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:45,430
Ooh, most expensive.
[ SNIFFS ]
168
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,032
[ SPRAYS ]
169
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:55,941
Wow. I didn't know you were
gonna look that good in it.
170
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,877
Oh, honey, what's wrong?
171
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:02,581
[ SOBBING ]
I should have tried harder.
172
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:05,484
I should have
dressed sexier.
173
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,586
You didn't do
anything wrong.
174
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,653
Mark is a pig.
175
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,623
But the kids
don't know that.
176
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,959
[ SIGHS ]
They just...
177
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,561
[ VOICE BREAKING ] They want us
to get back together.
178
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,697
And I don't know how
to explain it to them.
179
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,499
Well, it's time for them
to learn
180
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,801
that their dad
is a big pile of crap.
181
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,536
Just... I get so depressed.
182
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:27,138
I-I need to wear
high, sexy heels.
183
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,874
Stop jogging.
184
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,141
It helps.
185
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,610
It's freaking me out.
186
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,246
[ CRYING ] Look at me.
I'm ridiculous.
187
00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:35,514
Come here.
[ SNIFFLES ]
188
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,715
Come here.
189
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,951
Jen's got you.
190
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,320
Now I see why they call you
closet queens.
191
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,389
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
192
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,424
Instagram!
Facebook!
193
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,926
Yes!
Yes!
194
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:52,898
It was awful, man.
There was no connection at all.
195
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,734
I was so happy when you came up
with the avalanche thing.
196
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,469
That saved my life.
[ LAUGHS ]
197
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:58,937
And the way she dressed
198
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,872
was like an assistant principal
or something.
199
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,407
I felt like
I was in detention.
200
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,476
I got a girl for you.
201
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:05,677
Yeah?
Blonde lady.
202
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,412
From
my belly-dancing class.
203
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,381
A little bit
on the plus size.
204
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,916
But when she gets
to moving,
205
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:13,685
all that flappin'
can make it happen.
No good.
206
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,587
That big girl'd hit that Hooters
like a hurricane.
207
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:16,821
[ BLUBBERING ] Chicken!
Yeah.
208
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,490
Steak! Fries!
[ BLUBBERS ]
209
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,091
And a diet coke!
[ SMOOCHES ]
210
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,060
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
All right! Gotcha!
211
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,029
I'm out, man.
No more dating for me.
212
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,398
It's time and money I should be
spending with my kids.
213
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,667
Look who it is.
214
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,368
Hey. Larry!
215
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,137
My all-star!
Give me some.
216
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,873
It's hilary, dad,
which is bad enough.
217
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,641
You gonna
leave me hangin'?
218
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,044
Boom.
Guess what.
219
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,212
The new kodiak tents
just arrived.
220
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,781
In time for spring break.
221
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,784
We're going camping in our
backyard again this year?
222
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,385
Why? Are you
too old for that?
223
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:51,089
No. It's just some kids in
my class are going to Florida
224
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,792
or to Colorado
or even Switzerland.
225
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,427
Okay, you got a lot of rich kids
in your school.
226
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,561
What do you want from me?
227
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:57,996
We don't got that kind
of money.
228
00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,197
I know.
229
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,432
It would just be nice
to go someplace.
230
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,000
Oh.
231
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,803
You know where you could
take her that's cheap?
232
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,038
My belly-dancing class.
233
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,708
Oh. Put that away.
Seriously.
234
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,645
Excuse me. Sir?
235
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,947
I'm here to pick up
my basketball uniform.
236
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,983
Did you
just call me "sir"?
237
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,150
Yeah.
238
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,353
I'm a girl.
239
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:23,355
[ SIGHS ]
240
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:26,491
That's one fugly girl.
241
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,126
Hey, man,
that's his daughter.
242
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,162
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
243
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,732
LAUREN: Hey, honey, how's
the math homework coming?
244
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,834
Are any of the tutor's
shortcuts helping?
245
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,236
Did you go on a date?
246
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,137
A date?
247
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,940
Who told you
I went on a date?
248
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,808
You should really change
your e-mail password,
249
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,243
little miss
oh-seven-two-oh-nine-nine.
250
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,145
[ SIGHS ]
That is the last time
251
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,147
I use your birthday
as a password.
252
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,683
I can't believe
you read my e-mails.
253
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:54,185
Brendan, I love you,
but we have to learn
254
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:57,288
to respect each other's privacy
in this house.
255
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,024
Who's Jim?
256
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,960
Nobody, honey.
A buffoon.
257
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,863
Trust me.
It was nothing.
258
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,798
You promise?
Promise.
259
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,299
Whoa!
Whee-ooh! Whee-ooh!
260
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,467
Hey!
261
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,869
No wheels in the house!
262
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,737
I've told you this!
Yeah!
263
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,172
Tackle him, mom!
Get him!
Hey! Hey!
264
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,707
Did your dad take you
for ice cream
265
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,775
on the way home from school?
266
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:17,942
Spank him!
267
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,277
Rocky road
and mint chocolate chip!
268
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,179
Take him to the ground!
I'm on top of the world!
269
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,748
Goose, goose!
Aah!
270
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,917
Yeah!
You're dead!
271
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,519
No more titty twisters, guys!
272
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,922
You only have two titties
for the rest of your lives!
273
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:33,658
We need to learn to love
and respect them.
274
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,160
I always did.
275
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,295
How many times
have I told you
276
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:41,132
not to pump him full of sugar
before you drop him off?
277
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,300
Oh, come on.
278
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,069
Goin' out with dad
for an ice cream cone
279
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,171
is a lasting memory
for a kid.
280
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,272
Oh, okay.
281
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,940
Well, if dad spent
more time with him,
282
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,810
then the memories wouldn't
have to be so "lasting."
283
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,511
Boom. Zing.
Got me again.
284
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,681
It's so great spending time
with you, Lauren.
285
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,516
That doesn't go there.
286
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:02,320
What are we gonna do?
287
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,155
Ah. Oh, man.
288
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,758
It's gonna explode
in three, two...
289
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,960
oh, thank God.
That was close.
290
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,629
It was almost unorganized
for a minute.
291
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,364
Hi.
How are you?
292
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,600
Good. Are you going
to Tyler's game on Saturday?
293
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,102
Yes! Of course!
294
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,837
Great.
I'm putting you down.
295
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,039
It's what you do best.
296
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:24,075
On the board, mark.
On the board.
297
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,044
Lauren, the boys
don't need a board.
298
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,345
They don't need a list.
299
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,215
They know they can count on me.
That's it.
300
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,517
TYLER: Dad, can you help me
with my homework?!
301
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,018
Oh, I can't, bud!
Sorry!
302
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,187
I gotta go to a thing!
Ask your mom!
303
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,623
This is not an example
of my behavior.
304
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,525
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
305
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,127
Did you leave?
306
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,796
♪ I'll never be
that girl again ♪
307
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,798
♪ no, oh, oh ♪
308
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,433
♪ oh ♪
309
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,369
♪ I'll never be
that girl again ♪
310
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,804
♪ no, oh, oh ♪
311
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,373
♪ my innocence
is wearin' thin ♪
312
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,943
♪ but my heart
is growin' strong ♪
313
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,745
♪ so call me ♪
314
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,480
♪ call me ♪
315
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,516
♪ call me ♪
316
00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:07,485
♪ miss movin' on ♪
317
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,555
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
318
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,424
♪ miss movin' on ♪
319
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,161
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
320
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,263
Larry, wanna shoot
some hoops?
Dad!
321
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:20,732
Aah!
Oh! Sorry!
322
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:23,401
Stop! Get ou...!
Why wouldn't you knock?!
323
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,637
I'm sorry, honey!
I didn't see anything!
324
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,772
Oh, thanks a lot!
325
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,007
No, no, no!
326
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,442
There was plenty of stuff
to see!
327
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,610
Uh, uh...
328
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:36,147
I mean, I didn't see
any gellin' goin' on!
329
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,783
How 'bout a fist bump?
No!
330
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:42,954
Larry, we both need
this fist bump.
331
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,529
We're cool.
332
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:55,400
ESPN:
What do you want?
333
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,735
Oh, I just wanted
to say hi.
334
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,404
Now, well, you did,
now leave. You know?
335
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:00,672
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
336
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,373
Hey, how we doin'
in here?
337
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,209
I'm talkin' to mom.
338
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:07,312
Great. What are you guys
talkin' about?
339
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,315
It's girl stuff.
340
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,951
Okay.
Well, just so you know,
341
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,319
I'm pretty good
with girl stuff, too.
342
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:18,189
[ SIGHS ]
Excuse me for a second.
343
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:23,261
Thanks, dad, but...
I just want to talk to mom.
344
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:27,966
Sure, sure.
Say hi for me.
345
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,534
[ SIGHS ]
346
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,003
I'm all out of stickers.
347
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,372
You're all out of face.
What happened to you?
348
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,306
[ GRUNTS ]
349
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,175
Can I play
with ESPN now?
350
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,677
ESPN is having
her quiet time.
351
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,947
Oh.
With invincible mommy?
352
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,549
"Invisible." Yes.
353
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,919
It's not fair only ESPN
gets to see her.
354
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,655
I know.
I wish I could see her.
355
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,523
Me too.
356
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,591
Come here.
Mwah.
357
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,759
[ GIGGLES ]
358
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,327
Mwah!
359
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,863
Mmm!
360
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,866
[ GRUNTING ]
361
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:02,967
Mac and cheese?
362
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,702
Mac and cheese.
Yeah!
363
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:08,506
[ APPLAUSE ]
364
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,742
[ BASEBALL BAT CLANKS ]
365
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,076
[ CHEERING ]
366
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,611
LAUREN: I mean,
he's looking around here.
367
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,113
Looking for you.
368
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:18,116
I... you knew it was today.
I published the calendar.
369
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,817
MARK: Lauren, the meeting
went longer than expected.
370
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,920
What... what do you
want from me?
You know what?
371
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:25,623
I just want you to be a dad!
I can't take it!
372
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,959
[ CHUCKLES ] Why don't you
hop over to the snack bar
373
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,627
to see if they sell
any chill pills?
374
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,229
Chill pills?
[ CHUCKLES ]
375
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,965
Why don't you bust a move
back to 1990?
376
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,199
Hi.
Do you want to...?
[ LAUGHS ]
377
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,302
You're at a baseball game?
378
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:40,038
I'm going on a mystery trip
with dick!
379
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,239
That's so great.
380
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,174
I have no idea
where we're going.
381
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,476
He's so much fun.
Aah! I'm so excited!
382
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,544
[ CHUCKLES ]
383
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:50,415
Now batting, number 23,
Tyler Reynolds!
384
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,584
Okay! Come on!
Go, Tyler!
385
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,953
Whoo! Come on, Tyler!
386
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,387
They're putting
this kid in?
387
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,355
League rule.
388
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,890
Every kid has to play
two innings.
389
00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:00,825
Even kids like him.
390
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,795
I'll kick your ass
for two innings,
you better shut
your pie hole
391
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:07,432
you Burt Reynolds
scrawny reject!
Or I'm gonna stuff my entire
fist in your mouth!
392
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,000
Hey, how old
is that pitcher?
393
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,702
He looks like
a nascar driver.
394
00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:18,910
Stee-rike!
Come on!
395
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,145
That's okay, buddy!
Shake it off!
396
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,547
It's okay!
Oh, no.
397
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,482
He's not gonna have one
of his meltdowns, is he?
398
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,785
No, he has two more swings.
It's gonna be okay.
399
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,220
Okay,
I better go now, then.
400
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,989
Oh, by the way,
I need a week off.
401
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,957
Oh, yeah, sure.
When's the vacation?
402
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,592
Two weeks from today.
403
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:35,760
Wait, no.
404
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,528
That's not gonna work
'cause that's spring break
405
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,797
and I've got to take care
of the boys.
406
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:43,134
Stee-rike two!
Why?!
407
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,602
It's okay, cutie!
You got this!
408
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,938
Check out what happens
when this kid strikes out.
409
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:49,607
One more comment like that
and it is go time,
you have been warned,
ratso!
410
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,876
Do you understand me?!
So check it!
I will crush you!
411
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,778
Checkity check it!
412
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:56,914
I thought mark was taking
the kids white-water rafting.
413
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,349
Oh, shocker.
He canceled.
414
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,119
Business trip.
Now I'm racking my brain
415
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:04,222
trying to figure out
how to compete with that.
416
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,590
You won't.
There's no time.
417
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,425
And why should we both
stay at home?
418
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,594
You are the bestest
business partner ever.
419
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,062
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SIGHS ]
420
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,965
Stee-rike three!
421
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,800
I hate this! I hate this!
I hate this!
422
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,535
I suck!
No.
423
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,436
Aah!
424
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,671
Oh, boy.
Here we go again.
425
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:24,809
Aah! Aah!
Aaaah!
426
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:25,977
[ SIGHS ]
427
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:28,046
Maybe you should try
badminton.
428
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,615
Maybe you should try
mouthwash!
429
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,916
And deodorant!
430
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,518
And some testosterone
supplements!
431
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,019
And some Cialis!
432
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,854
I'm just assuming!
433
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:40,558
And shave your neck!
434
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,261
It's very hairy.
435
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,697
LAUREN: Oh, God.
436
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,067
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
437
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:04,082
[ GRUNTS ]
438
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,683
[ SIGHS ]
439
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,856
[ GRUNTS ]
440
00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:40,818
What?
441
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:50,862
Ugh.
442
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:52,530
Ugh.
443
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,600
No. No.
444
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,136
[ WHIMPERING ]
445
00:19:04,409 --> 00:19:05,977
Damn it.
446
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,713
Rip that little loopoff the back of your shirt.
447
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:09,747
And step three...
448
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,550
Daddy?
Yes?
449
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:15,887
What do you miss
about mommy?
450
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:18,389
What do I miss
about mommy?
451
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,024
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
452
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,627
Hmm.
Everything.
453
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:28,633
I miss her laugh
and her smile,
454
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:32,637
and I miss her little nose
that she gave to you.
455
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,305
Luckily
you didn't get mine.
456
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,406
You'd look very weird.
457
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,508
[ CHUCKLES ]
Yeah.
458
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,445
I miss every time
"the wizard of oz" was on.
459
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:44,182
I love that movie.
I know.
460
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,950
She would sing
all the songs to us,
461
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:49,353
especially
"somewhere over the rainbow."
462
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:52,657
You know what I miss most
about her?
463
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,059
What?
464
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:59,297
Getting to tell her
how much I love her.
465
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:04,202
Are you allowed to do that
with anyone else?
466
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:07,004
Am I allowed?
467
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:11,342
Your mother,
before she left...
468
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,011
That's all
she would talk about
469
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,347
was me
finding somebody else.
470
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,517
But I would tell her
I can't
471
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:22,353
because
she's my one and only.
472
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,523
What did mommy say?
473
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:30,328
Your mom would say
my heart is so big
474
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,763
that it has room for two.
475
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:36,767
That's another thing I miss
about your mother.
476
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:40,304
She actually thought
I was awesome.
477
00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:43,674
I think
you're awesome, daddy.
478
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,112
Thank you.
479
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,714
Hey, dad?
480
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:52,149
Um, I-I have
a personal errand to run,
481
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:53,851
and I need
to borrow the car.
482
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,786
Well, you can't drive
without me yet,
483
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:58,322
and somebody's got to stay here
with your sisters.
484
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:01,592
Dad,
I have a personal errand.
485
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,127
What does that even mean?
486
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,229
Eh, you taking a hit out
on somebody?
487
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:08,065
Dad, she's monsterating.
488
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,267
What?
489
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:12,470
I have my period!
Oh!
490
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,839
I-I forgot you get those.
491
00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:18,476
Tampax pearls.
492
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,411
Douches. Fresh scent.
493
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:23,914
Medicated and sweet romance.
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
494
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:28,219
Yeah, let's not be doin' the
sweet romance douches quite yet.
495
00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:30,921
"Poy-see" feminine wash.
496
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:34,025
Poy-see?
That's a little close, guys.
497
00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:36,160
"Always clean"?
498
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,330
I could actually use those.
499
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,499
Uh...
What's a diva cup?
500
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,401
Is that to make coffee?
501
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:44,935
I don't under...
502
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:49,607
what kind
do you guys use?
503
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:53,644
[ SIGHS ]
504
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:07,992
No!
Hi.
505
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:12,196
Don't tell me.
506
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:14,799
Lauren.
Lauren.
507
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,701
Mr. Hooters.
508
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:17,735
Jim.
509
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,870
What's goin' on
in the sweater?
510
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,672
Just for the articles?
511
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,940
Uh, no.
512
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:26,344
These, um, actually
are, um, for my son.
513
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:29,280
Wow.
What a progressive mother.
514
00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:34,985
No, I-I found a centerfold
under his bed, and I tore it up.
515
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:38,456
From a magazine,
not the Internet?
516
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:40,358
He's old school.
I respect that.
517
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,692
Why'd you tear it up?
518
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,462
Because as a woman,
I was totally offended.
519
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:45,663
You don't have to be.
520
00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:47,898
It's a normal part
of growin' up.
521
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:54,572
Okay, but he taped a picture
of our babysitter's face on it.
522
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:56,507
Okay. That's sick.
He needs help.
523
00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:58,075
Borderline
dahmer situation.
524
00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:00,311
I'm sorry to report that.
Oh, very funny.
525
00:23:00,313 --> 00:23:01,846
Okay, but if you had kids,
you'd understand it's...
526
00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:04,482
Three daughters.
...Complicated.
527
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:06,617
You have three daughters?
Yes.
528
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:10,287
Do you have any other children,
or just the masturbator?
529
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:12,690
He has a younger brother.
Uh-huh.
530
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:14,625
Well, maybe you'll do
a better job with that kid.
531
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,827
I'm just jokin'.
532
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:18,195
So, what?
You're here to replace it
533
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:19,630
before the kid finds out?
534
00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:23,033
Yes. But I can't tell
what magazine it's from.
535
00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:24,969
I-I-I just...
[ SIGHS ]
536
00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:26,971
Do you have any
of the centerfold remnants?
537
00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:30,641
Yes, I do.
538
00:23:33,011 --> 00:23:36,847
I, um... I tried
to tape it back up.
539
00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:39,417
Did a great job.
You can hardly tell.
540
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,455
Snapper magazine.
541
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:45,589
How can you tell?
542
00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:47,024
From the staple placement
543
00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:48,926
and the, uh, the way
the paper feels,
544
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,995
and I already have this copy
at home.
545
00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:52,496
How about a fist bump, uh?
546
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,135
Yep, that's the one.
Great.
547
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:00,037
Excuse me. Actually,
I thought of something
548
00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:01,105
that might help us both,
549
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:03,607
um, to save us
some embarrassment.
550
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,377
How about I bring that up
to the cashier
551
00:24:06,379 --> 00:24:08,479
and you bring this up
for me?
552
00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:11,282
Whoa. Are these
for your daughter?
553
00:24:11,284 --> 00:24:12,550
Yeah. She's 15,
554
00:24:12,552 --> 00:24:15,252
and her "friend"
just paid a visit.
555
00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:20,057
Okay. Well, these are
for a much older "friend."
556
00:24:20,059 --> 00:24:21,792
A much heavier "friend"
557
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:26,263
staying in a much bigger "room"
than your daughter has.
558
00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:27,665
You lost me.
559
00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:30,134
You found me.
Oh.
560
00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,368
Can I get a bump?
561
00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:32,370
No.
562
00:24:32,371 --> 00:24:34,205
No.
563
00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:38,242
Okay.
So you will do this.
564
00:24:38,244 --> 00:24:40,244
That'll be $13.
565
00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:41,779
Hi, I'm tom.
566
00:24:41,781 --> 00:24:43,314
Here's your change.
567
00:24:43,316 --> 00:24:44,682
Hi, I'm tom.
568
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:47,485
Yeah, you told me.
Next.
569
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:52,623
Oh. I remember
the slender fit days.
570
00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:55,559
You must be doin'
your kegels.
571
00:24:55,561 --> 00:24:59,330
Nowadays I need six of these
taped together.
572
00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:00,364
[ SCANNER BEEPS ]
573
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:01,398
Okay. Moving on.
574
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,168
Yeah. And we got...
575
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,737
That and, uh, card.
576
00:25:06,739 --> 00:25:09,707
Rockin' Saturday night,
huh, lefty?
577
00:25:09,709 --> 00:25:10,941
Oh, that's not mine.
578
00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:13,277
That... that's her...
for her kid.
579
00:25:13,279 --> 00:25:15,279
Ooh, pretty progressive mom.
580
00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:16,514
[ SCANNER BEEPS ]
581
00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:18,115
Yeah. That's what I... Said
to her, too.
582
00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:19,083
Why would you do that?
583
00:25:19,085 --> 00:25:21,318
I'm sorry.
What is wrong with you?
584
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,620
I'll get you out of it.
585
00:25:22,622 --> 00:25:25,389
She just takes her homeschooling
real serious,
586
00:25:25,391 --> 00:25:26,624
so that's why...
587
00:25:26,626 --> 00:25:28,559
we get those back?
588
00:25:28,561 --> 00:25:32,062
She's gotta get home to the kid
and get him going, so...
589
00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,431
Take care.
590
00:25:34,433 --> 00:25:36,267
Yeah.
591
00:25:36,269 --> 00:25:38,569
Hi, I'm tom.
592
00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:39,937
[ SIGHS ]
593
00:25:39,939 --> 00:25:41,539
Thanks a lot for selling me out
back there.
594
00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:43,274
Oh, she didn't even
hear about...
595
00:25:43,276 --> 00:25:46,043
I panicked.
I'm sorry. Here.
Oh, I noticed.
596
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,211
Thank you.
597
00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:50,614
I can't believe
you have three girls.
598
00:25:50,616 --> 00:25:51,982
What does that even mean?
599
00:25:51,984 --> 00:25:54,985
I just can't imagine you
with three girls.
600
00:25:54,987 --> 00:25:55,953
Don't, then.
601
00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:58,322
[ SIGHS ]
I'm sorry.
602
00:25:58,324 --> 00:25:59,757
What are their names?
603
00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:03,527
Hilary, Lou, and ESPN.
604
00:26:03,529 --> 00:26:04,695
"Espin."
Mm-hmm.
605
00:26:04,697 --> 00:26:06,330
That's unique.
Mm-hmm.
606
00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:09,433
Is it biblical?
No.
607
00:26:09,435 --> 00:26:11,835
Named after
my favorite network.
608
00:26:13,171 --> 00:26:16,273
[ HUMS "ESPN SPORTSCENTER"
THEME ]
609
00:26:18,109 --> 00:26:20,144
ESPN.
610
00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:21,445
No.
Yep.
611
00:26:21,447 --> 00:26:22,680
[ LAUGHS ] What?
612
00:26:22,682 --> 00:26:24,748
[ CHUCKLES ]
Pretty cool.
613
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,750
[ LAUGHING ] Oh, my God.
614
00:26:26,752 --> 00:26:29,653
Your wife
must have been a Saint.
615
00:26:29,655 --> 00:26:31,188
She was.
616
00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:35,960
Your husband must have been
very patient dealing with...
617
00:26:35,962 --> 00:26:37,361
Oh.
618
00:26:37,363 --> 00:26:41,632
Another charming sentiment
from captain cheese sticks.
619
00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:43,534
You know what?
Hooters is too good for you.
620
00:26:43,536 --> 00:26:44,902
I'd never
bring you there again.
621
00:26:44,904 --> 00:26:47,071
Oh, well, then I guess
I'll just have to learn
622
00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:48,939
to get through life
without Hooters.
623
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:51,742
You've been doin' a pretty
damn good job so far!
624
00:26:51,744 --> 00:26:53,711
That doesn't make
any sense.
625
00:26:53,713 --> 00:26:57,047
No, they... I didn't realize
they were that big.
626
00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:00,184
[ BOTH CARS CHIRP ]
627
00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:04,321
Oh, whatever.
628
00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:06,490
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
629
00:27:06,492 --> 00:27:08,258
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
630
00:27:14,933 --> 00:27:16,634
LAUREN:
Guys, unfortunately,
631
00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:18,769
your dad had a business trip
that came up,
632
00:27:18,771 --> 00:27:20,371
so your whitewater
rafting trip
633
00:27:20,373 --> 00:27:22,439
is gonna get postponed
till this summer.
634
00:27:22,441 --> 00:27:25,209
What?!
So we're stuck here
doing nothing all week?!
635
00:27:25,211 --> 00:27:28,178
I have plans. I have
great plans actually.
636
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:31,548
Like what? Bowling
and going to the mall?
637
00:27:31,550 --> 00:27:33,150
How did you know?
638
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:34,718
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
Bet that's dad!
639
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,987
Maybe he'll take us
on his business trip!
640
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:41,158
Oh, hey.
Is your mom home?
641
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,094
What do you mean,
"is your mom home"?
Who are you?
642
00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:45,529
I'm Jim.
643
00:27:45,531 --> 00:27:49,433
Jim?
"Jim66@dsg. Com"?
644
00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:52,703
What is this, "dateline nbc"?
Yes, you got it right.
645
00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:54,138
What do you want?
646
00:27:54,140 --> 00:27:55,973
I need to talk to your mother.
Not a big deal.
647
00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:57,908
She said
she's not interested in you.
648
00:27:57,910 --> 00:28:00,277
Well, believe me, Frodo,
I don't like her either.
649
00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:02,046
Unfortunately, I have to sort
something out with her.
650
00:28:02,048 --> 00:28:04,214
Brendan, honey,
who's at the...
651
00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:07,151
hey.
Jim.
652
00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:09,319
You lied!
Liar! You like him!
653
00:28:09,321 --> 00:28:12,089
What? I didn't lie, honey.
He's a buffoon.
654
00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,991
Just like I said.
Don't talk to me!
655
00:28:13,993 --> 00:28:15,926
Ever!
What?
656
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:19,163
No, sweetie, come on.
657
00:28:19,165 --> 00:28:20,230
What?
658
00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:21,732
Great.
659
00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:23,767
Which one was the masturbator?
The big one?
660
00:28:23,769 --> 00:28:26,203
Why are you here?
What do you want?
661
00:28:26,205 --> 00:28:28,939
The old bag at the pharmacy
mixed up our cards.
662
00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:30,240
Well, that's impossible
663
00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:31,775
because I keep my cards
very organized.
664
00:28:31,777 --> 00:28:33,377
In fact, I keep them
in color-coded sleeves...
665
00:28:33,379 --> 00:28:35,746
all right, I'll give this back
to whoever it belongs to.
666
00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:36,947
Lauren Reynolds.
667
00:28:36,949 --> 00:28:38,649
You know her?
Have you met her?
668
00:28:38,651 --> 00:28:41,051
Oh.
[ SIGHS ] God, I...
669
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,053
I don't know what's wrong
with me lately.
670
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:44,722
I feel like
I'm losing my mind.
671
00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,190
Just come in.
672
00:28:46,192 --> 00:28:49,026
So wait.
How do you know where I live?
673
00:28:49,028 --> 00:28:52,262
I googled you
and "closet queens" came up.
674
00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:53,664
You're a lesbian?
675
00:28:53,666 --> 00:28:55,933
No.
676
00:28:56,634 --> 00:28:59,403
We organize "closets."
677
00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:01,839
And we're the best,
so we're "queens."
678
00:29:01,841 --> 00:29:03,107
"Closet queens."
679
00:29:03,109 --> 00:29:06,110
Maybe the picture
was confusing me.
680
00:29:06,112 --> 00:29:07,845
What picture?
681
00:29:10,348 --> 00:29:13,016
Oh, those little weasels.
682
00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:15,853
Your girlfriend, like, does
she know we went on a date?
683
00:29:15,855 --> 00:29:17,888
Is she gonna kill me?
She looks nuts.
684
00:29:17,890 --> 00:29:19,923
Lauren!
Well, here she is.
685
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:20,991
I have to talk to you!
686
00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:23,026
Uh...
I-I never touched her.
687
00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:24,495
Sh-she repulses me.
688
00:29:24,497 --> 00:29:25,996
What?
What?
689
00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:27,231
Jen, what's wrong?
690
00:29:27,233 --> 00:29:29,366
It's over
between me and dick.
691
00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:31,568
Over?
I thought you don't like dick.
692
00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:35,539
But you guys just started
using the "l" word.
693
00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:36,907
"The l word."
I saw that show.
694
00:29:36,909 --> 00:29:38,809
You guys love that one
I'm... I'm guessin'.
695
00:29:38,811 --> 00:29:39,910
I'm sorry. Who are you?
696
00:29:39,912 --> 00:29:41,245
Are you here
to fix something?
697
00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:42,813
'Cause you should probably
just go and do that.
698
00:29:42,815 --> 00:29:44,748
I'm Jim.
I'm not a threat.
699
00:29:44,750 --> 00:29:46,316
Jim?
700
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:48,285
The blind-date guy.
701
00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:49,920
You said
that was a disaster.
702
00:29:49,922 --> 00:29:51,255
Oh, it was.
703
00:29:51,257 --> 00:29:54,324
You said
he was a chubby loser.
He is.
704
00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:57,661
You didn't mention he has
that high phlegmy voice
705
00:29:57,663 --> 00:29:59,763
like he drinks
a lot of dairy.
706
00:29:59,765 --> 00:30:01,398
I know...
standin' right here,
ladies.
707
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,466
Hearin' everything.
708
00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:04,201
All right, our cards
got switched,
709
00:30:04,203 --> 00:30:05,702
so we're just dealing
with that.
710
00:30:05,704 --> 00:30:06,970
What happened with dick?
711
00:30:06,972 --> 00:30:09,439
He just dropped
a major bomb on me.
712
00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:10,774
He's married.
713
00:30:10,776 --> 00:30:13,577
No, worse.
He's got kids.
714
00:30:13,579 --> 00:30:16,914
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
715
00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:19,716
Oh, you're still here.
Why?
716
00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:22,820
You still have my card.
"Why?"
717
00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:24,154
Wait.
718
00:30:24,156 --> 00:30:26,356
You're just gonna break up
with him
719
00:30:26,358 --> 00:30:27,624
because he has children?
720
00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:30,828
Five children.
Five.
721
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,229
What am I, Julie Andrews?
722
00:30:32,231 --> 00:30:34,164
I'm gonna sew
matching outfits
723
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:36,066
and sing
to escape the Nazis?
724
00:30:36,068 --> 00:30:38,702
He asked me if I wanted to be
"part of the team."
725
00:30:38,704 --> 00:30:40,070
No, I don't!
726
00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:41,939
Well, maybe you should
just go on the trip
727
00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:43,607
and, you know, spend
some alone time with dick
728
00:30:43,609 --> 00:30:44,908
and then...
oh, no.
729
00:30:44,910 --> 00:30:46,944
See, he wanted the kids
to come with us.
730
00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:48,679
He wanted me
to get to know them
731
00:30:48,681 --> 00:30:50,547
in a "fun and neutral
environment."
732
00:30:50,549 --> 00:30:51,849
Eh, eh, eh, five kids?
733
00:30:51,851 --> 00:30:53,784
Is his last name
theodopolis?
734
00:30:53,786 --> 00:30:55,018
Yes.
735
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:56,653
That's incredible.
That's my boss.
736
00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:59,356
What?
He owns all
the dick's sporting goods.
737
00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:01,491
I-I manage the one
in Ridgefield.
738
00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:02,559
Of course you do.
739
00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:05,395
Dick takes a lot
of special-needs people
740
00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:08,198
and makes them "managers"
of something
741
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,667
so they can have a business card
and feel important.
742
00:31:10,669 --> 00:31:11,902
Good for you!
743
00:31:11,904 --> 00:31:14,671
That explains it.
That explains a lot.
744
00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:17,274
You know, actually I applied
to work at closet queens,
745
00:31:17,276 --> 00:31:19,610
but they said there's already
a gorilla [CHUCKLING]
746
00:31:19,612 --> 00:31:20,878
Filling that position.
747
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,814
[ VOICE BREAKING ]
It's a thyroid thing.
748
00:31:23,816 --> 00:31:25,082
[ CHUCKLES ]
749
00:31:25,084 --> 00:31:26,583
Where was he gonna take you?
750
00:31:26,585 --> 00:31:27,985
Africa.
751
00:31:27,987 --> 00:31:30,153
It was gonna be incredible.
Look at that.
752
00:31:30,155 --> 00:31:32,823
My God.
Sun, sand, safaris.
Wow.
753
00:31:32,825 --> 00:31:33,991
Oh, my God.
What do we got?
754
00:31:33,993 --> 00:31:35,959
He must really
like you a lot.
755
00:31:35,961 --> 00:31:38,862
Sorry, I'm not gettin' it
at all.
756
00:31:38,864 --> 00:31:41,198
Okay. And this
concludes our business.
757
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,234
Thank you.
Africa.
758
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:46,470
So he's just gonna go here
all by himself
759
00:31:46,472 --> 00:31:47,971
with his kids now?
760
00:31:47,973 --> 00:31:50,340
No.
He's heartbroken now.
761
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:53,210
Nobody gets to go.
Oh, damn it!
762
00:31:53,212 --> 00:31:55,779
[ SIGHS ] Why does he have
to have joint custody?
763
00:31:55,781 --> 00:31:57,781
I thought the mother
always got the kids.
764
00:31:57,783 --> 00:31:59,349
I mean,
this is a week away.
765
00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:01,184
I hope
he gets his money back.
766
00:32:01,186 --> 00:32:02,653
A week out?
Aah!
767
00:32:02,655 --> 00:32:04,121
Not a chance.
768
00:32:04,123 --> 00:32:06,957
Well, maybe they do things
differently in Africa.
769
00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:08,292
Oh, I forgot you were an expert
770
00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:09,860
at closets
and African refund policies.
771
00:32:09,862 --> 00:32:11,128
Okay. Kick him out.
772
00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:13,196
Don't let him talk
to you like that.
773
00:32:13,198 --> 00:32:15,866
Get out.
I'm leavin'.
774
00:32:15,868 --> 00:32:18,769
Jen.
My boys would give anything
775
00:32:18,771 --> 00:32:21,371
to go
on a vacation like this.
776
00:32:21,373 --> 00:32:24,007
Mr. theodopolis. Hi.
It's Jim Friedman.
777
00:32:24,009 --> 00:32:26,143
I don't mean
to be a vulture
778
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:29,179
picking on the carcass
of your dead relationship,
779
00:32:29,181 --> 00:32:30,647
but I wonder...
780
00:32:30,649 --> 00:32:32,816
...if you'd be willin'
to sell me the vacation
781
00:32:32,818 --> 00:32:35,285
you were gonna go on
with Freddy krueger's sister?
782
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,120
I mean, I have been
saving and saving.
783
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:39,122
I could never give him
full value for it...
784
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:41,224
...but somethin's better
than nothin', right, sir?
785
00:32:41,226 --> 00:32:42,826
It would just be
the three of us.
786
00:32:42,828 --> 00:32:45,796
It would just be the four of us,
so we'd only need one room.
787
00:32:45,798 --> 00:32:47,331
Oh, my God.
[ PANTS ]
788
00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:49,299
Wait until
I tell the boys!
789
00:32:49,301 --> 00:32:51,501
Oh.
Wait till I tell the girls!
790
00:32:51,503 --> 00:32:53,570
BOTH:
We're going to Africa!
791
00:32:53,572 --> 00:32:55,005
Aah!
Yeah!
792
00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:58,542
[ "YEHLISA UMOYA" PLAYING ]
793
00:33:12,457 --> 00:33:14,224
I can't believe
we're here.
794
00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:16,026
This is
pretty cool, mom.
795
00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:17,561
♪ Africa ♪
LAUREN: Yeah.
796
00:33:17,563 --> 00:33:21,098
♪ Welcome, welcome,
welcome, welcome ♪
797
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:22,566
so I did good?
798
00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:25,569
This is better than, like,
bowling and the mall?
799
00:33:25,571 --> 00:33:27,604
Oh, yeah.
800
00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:30,874
♪ Welcome ♪
801
00:33:30,876 --> 00:33:33,777
♪ welcome, welcome ♪
802
00:33:33,779 --> 00:33:37,381
Africa! Africa!
803
00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:38,648
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
804
00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:40,984
This is terrific.
This is great.
805
00:33:40,986 --> 00:33:42,686
What the fu...?
806
00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:43,920
Brendan!
807
00:33:43,922 --> 00:33:45,555
What the fudge
is he doing here?
808
00:33:45,557 --> 00:33:46,757
[ LAUGHS ]
809
00:33:46,759 --> 00:33:48,925
We're going on family vacations
together now?
810
00:33:48,927 --> 00:33:54,264
I-I have no idea why
they followed us to Africa.
811
00:33:55,466 --> 00:33:58,769
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
812
00:33:58,771 --> 00:34:00,003
Is this a sick dream?
813
00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:01,671
What is happening
right now?
814
00:34:01,673 --> 00:34:04,141
You're stalking my mom!
You're a predator!
815
00:34:04,143 --> 00:34:07,077
Hey! Don't talk to my dad
like that, butthole!
816
00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:10,080
Language!
How about you don't correct
my daughter, okay?
817
00:34:10,082 --> 00:34:12,015
She can say "butthole"
if she wants to.
818
00:34:12,017 --> 00:34:14,284
Butthole! Butthole!
Not you.
819
00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:18,221
I hear thunder on the Mountain.
[ LAUGHS ]
820
00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:22,059
Welcome to South Africa.
Mfana at your service.
821
00:34:22,061 --> 00:34:24,761
Mfana.
Uh, Jim.
822
00:34:24,763 --> 00:34:26,930
Uh, I mean, uh, uh, dick.
823
00:34:26,932 --> 00:34:28,432
Dick theodopolis.
824
00:34:28,434 --> 00:34:30,133
Welcome, dick theodopolis!
825
00:34:30,135 --> 00:34:32,235
And you are traveling
826
00:34:32,237 --> 00:34:35,205
with, uh, one little girl
and two, uh...
827
00:34:37,875 --> 00:34:38,909
Big girls.
828
00:34:38,911 --> 00:34:40,944
[ LAUGHS ] Of course.
829
00:34:40,946 --> 00:34:43,713
And you must be miss Palmer.
830
00:34:43,715 --> 00:34:46,083
Yes. Jen Palmer.
831
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:47,751
Oh, I see what you did.
832
00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:49,453
I see what you did, too.
833
00:34:49,455 --> 00:34:52,689
Are you ready for
the most exciting, amazing,
834
00:34:52,691 --> 00:34:55,859
and romantic week
of your entire lives?
835
00:34:55,861 --> 00:35:00,297
♪ Exciting, amazing, romantic! ♪
836
00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:03,733
Yeah, we're here
for the zero romance package.
837
00:35:03,735 --> 00:35:06,803
You still haven't told
the children, my friends?
838
00:35:06,805 --> 00:35:08,138
Told the children what?
839
00:35:08,140 --> 00:35:09,539
Do I have a new mommy?
840
00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,541
Mfana.
Will you do us a favor?
841
00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:14,077
Just leave us alone
for just two secs.
842
00:35:14,079 --> 00:35:16,480
Kulungile,
which means "of course."
843
00:35:16,482 --> 00:35:18,348
Thank you.
All right. Listen.
844
00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:21,518
Would you just reassure my son
that we're not dating?
845
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,954
We are not dating!
I promise you.
846
00:35:23,956 --> 00:35:27,524
This is not a face I want
to wake up to every morning.
847
00:35:27,526 --> 00:35:28,725
Wow.
848
00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:30,894
You'd be lucky to wake up
to that every day.
849
00:35:30,896 --> 00:35:32,329
My mom is friggin' hot.
850
00:35:32,331 --> 00:35:34,164
Did you just say
your mom was hot?
851
00:35:34,166 --> 00:35:35,665
No! Not hot!
852
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:37,968
[ CHUCKLES ]
That's just wrong.
853
00:35:37,970 --> 00:35:40,370
Tyler! Tyler!
Whoo! Yeah!
854
00:35:40,372 --> 00:35:41,771
Get down from there!
855
00:35:41,773 --> 00:35:43,273
Whee-hee!
Oh, God!
856
00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:44,741
Please, please, please...
Whoa!
857
00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:45,976
...please get down!
858
00:35:45,978 --> 00:35:48,345
Whoo!
Aah!
859
00:35:48,347 --> 00:35:51,081
BRENDAN:
This place is ginormous!
860
00:35:51,083 --> 00:35:52,249
TYLER: Oh, my God!
861
00:35:52,251 --> 00:35:55,051
MFANA: Follow me.
Right this way.
862
00:35:55,053 --> 00:35:58,388
Welcome to your familymoon.
863
00:35:58,390 --> 00:35:59,789
Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
864
00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:02,292
BRENDAN:
This is so cool.
865
00:36:02,294 --> 00:36:04,094
JIM: Whoa-ho!
Now we're talkin'!
866
00:36:04,096 --> 00:36:05,962
[ CHUCKLES ]
This is Africa, baby!
867
00:36:05,964 --> 00:36:07,030
We'll take this room.
868
00:36:07,032 --> 00:36:09,432
No!
We want this room.
869
00:36:09,434 --> 00:36:13,570
Silly theocropolises!
This is for the children.
870
00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:18,241
This room is
for the mama and the papa.
871
00:36:18,243 --> 00:36:19,743
[ CHUCKLES ]
872
00:36:19,745 --> 00:36:22,679
BRENDAN AND TYLER: Whoa.
ESPN: Look at that bed.
873
00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,514
HILARY: Huge!
TYLER: Yeah!
874
00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,650
Awesome.
Look at all this candy.
875
00:36:26,652 --> 00:36:29,319
Here is where you make
more theopotamuses.
876
00:36:29,321 --> 00:36:30,854
[ LAUGHS ]
877
00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:33,490
My bad.
878
00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:37,027
What part of "not dating"
does this bed fit into?
879
00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:38,428
Oh, boy.
880
00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:41,565
Okay. You know what?
Everybody fall into line.
881
00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:44,134
Brendan, Tyler, honey,
I need you on the couch.
882
00:36:44,136 --> 00:36:45,769
Hilary, uh, c-span, Lou...
883
00:36:45,771 --> 00:36:47,137
ESPN, ESPN.
884
00:36:47,139 --> 00:36:48,305
E-e-e-excuse me...
885
00:36:48,307 --> 00:36:49,906
ESPN.
I'm sorry, honey.
886
00:36:49,908 --> 00:36:54,344
Oh, my God.
Dick was gonna propose to Jen.
887
00:36:54,346 --> 00:36:58,148
A family honeymoon.
A "familymoon."
888
00:36:58,150 --> 00:36:59,516
And your dumb friend
ruined it.
889
00:36:59,518 --> 00:37:00,817
So here's what's
gonna happen.
890
00:37:00,819 --> 00:37:02,986
The first room we saw,
we're gonna take that.
891
00:37:02,988 --> 00:37:04,454
And you
and your deranged boys
892
00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:06,456
can have wilt Chamberlain's
headquarters.
893
00:37:06,458 --> 00:37:08,391
Dude,
what are you eating?
894
00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:10,460
Mm. "Cherry panties."
895
00:37:10,462 --> 00:37:13,763
What are "cherry panties"?
896
00:37:13,765 --> 00:37:14,831
Let me see that.
897
00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:16,800
Oh, no! God!
898
00:37:16,802 --> 00:37:18,235
Spit it out!
Why?
899
00:37:18,237 --> 00:37:19,469
Spit it out! Just...
900
00:37:19,471 --> 00:37:21,037
no cherry panties ever!
Out, out, out!
901
00:37:21,039 --> 00:37:22,305
BRENDAN: Hey, mom.
902
00:37:22,307 --> 00:37:24,541
I guess this
used to be a firehouse.
903
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:29,913
Aaaaah!
904
00:37:35,620 --> 00:37:39,489
Look at this place.
Wow.
905
00:37:39,491 --> 00:37:42,058
Hello, Mr. snuffleupagus.
906
00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:43,994
Uh, theodopolis.
907
00:37:43,996 --> 00:37:46,796
Hello...
908
00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:48,999
Girls.
909
00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:51,234
Girls.
They're girls.
910
00:37:51,236 --> 00:37:54,604
That's twice.
Let's go, guys... girls.
911
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:57,507
23.
Lookin' for 23.
912
00:37:57,509 --> 00:38:01,745
There it is.
[ CHUCKLES ]
913
00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:04,281
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
914
00:38:04,283 --> 00:38:06,716
Oh! Hi!
Hey.
915
00:38:06,718 --> 00:38:09,286
How you doin'? I-I think
we're sharin' a table with ya.
916
00:38:09,288 --> 00:38:10,887
Yeah. Hi!
I'm eddy wernick,
917
00:38:10,889 --> 00:38:13,623
and this is ginger wernick
and our son, Jake.
918
00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:16,259
We're from Vancouver.
919
00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:17,727
'Kay.
I'm your son, all right?
920
00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:20,030
Ginger would've had to give
birth to me when she was 6.
921
00:38:20,032 --> 00:38:21,264
She's not my mom.
922
00:38:21,266 --> 00:38:23,366
Okay. Get it out there
for everyone.
923
00:38:23,368 --> 00:38:24,567
Sharin' it, lovin' it.
924
00:38:24,569 --> 00:38:26,202
No holdin' back.
That's good.
925
00:38:26,204 --> 00:38:28,138
All right, all right. Let's do
our thing. Come on. Come on.
926
00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:30,073
Isn't this place fantastic?
927
00:38:30,075 --> 00:38:31,541
So romantic.
Ahhh.
928
00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:34,444
JIM: Good.
Gonna have a nice trip here.
929
00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:36,546
Um, dad?
Hey, sweetie.
930
00:38:36,548 --> 00:38:37,814
Where should I sit?
931
00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:39,482
You can sit
anywhere you want.
932
00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,885
What about mom?
Where does she sit?
933
00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:44,354
Uh, where do you want her
to sit?
934
00:38:44,356 --> 00:38:45,855
Next to me?
935
00:38:45,857 --> 00:38:47,524
Then, that's where
she'll sit.
936
00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:48,825
Go ahead.
You... you s...
937
00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:50,894
get right next to Lou.
Your mom's right there.
938
00:38:50,896 --> 00:38:52,095
Okay.
Okay?
939
00:38:52,097 --> 00:38:54,397
Mm-hmm.
All good.
940
00:38:54,399 --> 00:38:57,667
Ignorin' it.
Ignorin' the weirdness.
941
00:38:57,669 --> 00:39:01,738
Ah. Where's the funeral
at, boys?
942
00:39:01,740 --> 00:39:03,673
Where's the golf tournament
at, girls?
943
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:06,209
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
944
00:39:06,211 --> 00:39:07,944
Mfana. Mfana!
945
00:39:07,946 --> 00:39:10,213
Yes! Mrs. uh...
946
00:39:10,215 --> 00:39:11,481
Reynolds.
Palmer!
947
00:39:11,483 --> 00:39:12,849
Just not his wife, okay?
948
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,118
I don't wanna sit here.
Not gonna happen.
949
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,353
[ CHUCKLES ]
950
00:39:16,355 --> 00:39:18,588
I'm afraid it must happen,
ma'am.
951
00:39:18,590 --> 00:39:21,958
All tables are filled,
a-and this is your family.
952
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,326
Please sit with us.
953
00:39:23,328 --> 00:39:25,795
You give it a try.
954
00:39:25,797 --> 00:39:26,930
Okay.
955
00:39:26,932 --> 00:39:30,367
Every family fights.
You make it better.
956
00:39:30,369 --> 00:39:31,668
Mm-hmm.
Yes?
957
00:39:31,670 --> 00:39:33,937
Yes.
Try the chakalaka.
958
00:39:33,939 --> 00:39:35,105
Hi, new people.
959
00:39:35,107 --> 00:39:36,339
Hello.
960
00:39:36,341 --> 00:39:37,841
This is Lauren, by the way,
961
00:39:37,843 --> 00:39:39,976
and her children,
the karate kids,
962
00:39:39,978 --> 00:39:41,344
wax on and wax
[CHUCKLES] off.
963
00:39:41,346 --> 00:39:43,246
Oh.
[ LAUGHS ]
964
00:39:43,248 --> 00:39:46,082
Isn't this place fantastic?
965
00:39:46,084 --> 00:39:48,318
Oh, it's so romantic.
966
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,453
Sorry,
wh-what'd you say?
967
00:39:50,455 --> 00:39:52,956
So romantic!
[ GIGGLES ]
968
00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,224
Easy.
969
00:39:54,226 --> 00:39:55,859
Keepin' it classy,
huh, ginger?
970
00:39:55,861 --> 00:39:58,495
Oh, jakey, you have something
on your face.
971
00:40:00,364 --> 00:40:01,965
Oh, it's a mole.
972
00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:05,435
Hey!
You can't sit there.
973
00:40:05,437 --> 00:40:06,669
Why not?
974
00:40:06,671 --> 00:40:07,837
My mom's sitting there.
975
00:40:07,839 --> 00:40:10,607
Is she in the bathroom
or something?
976
00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,175
No. She's sitting there
right now.
977
00:40:14,211 --> 00:40:15,945
Are you on meds or...
ow!
978
00:40:15,947 --> 00:40:20,350
It's okay, ESPN.
We'll get Brendan another chair.
979
00:40:20,352 --> 00:40:22,685
Thank you.
Whatever.
980
00:40:22,687 --> 00:40:24,387
I'm just gonna go
to the buffet.
981
00:40:24,389 --> 00:40:25,522
Tyler, come with me.
982
00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:26,890
They eat
fried caterpillars here.
983
00:40:26,892 --> 00:40:29,692
Hell yeah!
JIM: Very nice.
984
00:40:29,694 --> 00:40:31,194
Girls, why don't you hit
the buffet also?
985
00:40:31,196 --> 00:40:33,263
Larry, make sure you have
plenty of beef, 'kay?
986
00:40:33,265 --> 00:40:34,464
Gotta bulk up
for the season.
987
00:40:34,466 --> 00:40:36,800
Love ya.
Go on.
988
00:40:38,636 --> 00:40:40,236
"Bulk up for the season"?
989
00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:41,438
What is she? A bear?
990
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:42,806
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
991
00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:45,074
She's trying out for
girls' varsity this year.
992
00:40:45,076 --> 00:40:47,043
A lot of big ladies
out there.
Oh.
993
00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:49,479
So she's gonna eat her way
into the starting five.
994
00:40:49,481 --> 00:40:50,547
My God.
995
00:40:50,549 --> 00:40:53,450
[ SINGING IN ZULU ]
996
00:40:53,452 --> 00:40:56,152
Hello, everybody!
997
00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:59,088
My name is nickens.
998
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:02,358
And we are thathoo!
999
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:03,827
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
1000
00:41:03,829 --> 00:41:07,664
We play traditional
South African isicathamiya music
1001
00:41:07,666 --> 00:41:12,469
with a little bit
of American soul.
1002
00:41:12,471 --> 00:41:15,004
Yebo! [ CHUCKLES ]
[ LAUGHS ]
1003
00:41:15,006 --> 00:41:17,540
Whoo! It is getting
a little hot in here.
1004
00:41:17,542 --> 00:41:18,808
Whoo!
Yes.
1005
00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:23,046
Finally, my huge African arms
are free.
1006
00:41:23,048 --> 00:41:24,681
Yeah, baby!
1007
00:41:24,683 --> 00:41:26,816
Yes, they are.
1008
00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:28,251
No.
1009
00:41:28,253 --> 00:41:30,753
I would like to welcome you
1010
00:41:30,755 --> 00:41:35,291
to our fourth annual
blended familymoon week!
1011
00:41:35,293 --> 00:41:36,860
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
1012
00:41:36,862 --> 00:41:39,195
Yebo!
1013
00:41:39,197 --> 00:41:40,396
What's a blended family?
1014
00:41:40,398 --> 00:41:42,298
I don't know.
It sounds painful, though.
1015
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:46,803
I am looking out at all
you beautiful stepchildren...
1016
00:41:46,805 --> 00:41:49,005
Stepdads...
Stepmoms...
1017
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:51,941
Half-brothers,
same-sex domestic partners...
1018
00:41:51,943 --> 00:41:56,412
...and good old-fashioned
Booty calls gone wrong.
1019
00:41:56,414 --> 00:41:57,947
[ LAUGHTER ]
1020
00:41:57,949 --> 00:42:02,485
Now, even though the emphasis
is on family,
1021
00:42:02,487 --> 00:42:05,822
we here, at the beautiful
sun city resort,
1022
00:42:05,824 --> 00:42:10,293
want to make sure you get
some alone time.
1023
00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:12,395
Oh!
1024
00:42:12,397 --> 00:42:18,134
Because alone time
can sometime take a long time.
1025
00:42:18,136 --> 00:42:20,570
We have many
supervised activities
1026
00:42:20,572 --> 00:42:22,071
for the young ones to do.
1027
00:42:22,073 --> 00:42:25,942
We have a fabulous
jungle play zone.
1028
00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:27,877
[ SHOUTING ]
1029
00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:34,651
NICKENS:
A nightly pool party.
1030
00:42:34,653 --> 00:42:37,420
Hey, ESPN.
Why aren't you getting in?
1031
00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:39,756
Is your mom afraid
of the water?
1032
00:42:39,758 --> 00:42:42,559
[ CHUCKLES ]
Good one, mom.
1033
00:42:42,561 --> 00:42:44,694
Magical animal time.
1034
00:42:44,696 --> 00:42:47,897
Little one,
wouldn't you like
1035
00:42:47,899 --> 00:42:50,800
to try petting
a living animal?
1036
00:42:50,802 --> 00:42:54,304
He's dead?
[ SOBS ]
1037
00:42:54,306 --> 00:42:59,275
NICKENS: And our famous
tekula teen disco!
1038
00:43:01,712 --> 00:43:02,912
Hey, dude.
1039
00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:06,249
There's a lot
of hot chicks out here.
1040
00:43:18,462 --> 00:43:20,530
[ MAN CHUCKLES ]
1041
00:43:20,532 --> 00:43:23,266
The best time. Yeah.
1042
00:43:23,268 --> 00:43:24,901
[ SPLASH ]
1043
00:43:24,903 --> 00:43:27,804
What the heck is...
1044
00:43:27,806 --> 00:43:29,305
what is that?
1045
00:43:30,341 --> 00:43:33,076
Are you kidding me?
1046
00:43:33,078 --> 00:43:35,478
Oh, my God!
Are you kidding me?
1047
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,480
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!
1048
00:43:37,482 --> 00:43:39,682
Oh, God!
Crocodile!
1049
00:43:39,684 --> 00:43:41,250
Crocodile attack!
1050
00:43:41,252 --> 00:43:43,620
Help me!
Somebody help me!
1051
00:43:43,622 --> 00:43:46,689
Please don't kill me!
God! Oh, my God!
1052
00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:52,695
Mr. bellyflopolis,
the crocodiles are fake!
1053
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,368
They're fake?!
1054
00:43:58,370 --> 00:44:00,370
Yes, they're fake!
1055
00:44:00,372 --> 00:44:05,008
Why would you make
them look so realistic?!
1056
00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:08,244
Well, to scare
the baboons away.
1057
00:44:08,246 --> 00:44:13,349
You just scared a zebra stripe
into my underwear!
1058
00:44:13,351 --> 00:44:14,684
Don't worry!
1059
00:44:14,686 --> 00:44:17,620
What happens in Africa,
stays in Africa.
1060
00:44:17,622 --> 00:44:18,988
[ LAUGHTER ]
1061
00:44:20,557 --> 00:44:22,225
[ LAUREN BREATHING HEAVILY ]
1062
00:44:25,295 --> 00:44:29,699
Oh. Oh. Tyler. Okay.
1063
00:44:29,701 --> 00:44:31,668
Excuse me.
Oh!
1064
00:44:31,670 --> 00:44:33,169
Okay.
1065
00:44:33,171 --> 00:44:36,039
[ HEAD THUNKS ]
1066
00:44:36,041 --> 00:44:37,407
Oh! Oh!
1067
00:44:37,409 --> 00:44:41,077
Uh, that's one way to get him
to sleep through the night.
1068
00:44:41,079 --> 00:44:43,346
You saw that?
No, I actually heard it.
1069
00:44:43,348 --> 00:44:44,947
I think they heard it
in Uganda. [ CHUCKLES ]
1070
00:44:44,949 --> 00:44:47,083
It was a lot easier
when he was Lou's age.
1071
00:44:47,085 --> 00:44:48,985
Of course,
let me help ya out here.
1072
00:44:48,987 --> 00:44:50,453
Here ya are.
You're home.
1073
00:44:50,455 --> 00:44:51,821
Thank you.
Absolu... uh-oh!
1074
00:44:51,823 --> 00:44:52,955
Whoa!
Too late.
1075
00:44:52,957 --> 00:44:54,257
Oh, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1076
00:44:54,259 --> 00:44:55,825
Whoa, all right,
all right, all right.
1077
00:44:55,827 --> 00:44:57,960
Pick... pick... pick him up.
Three-second rule.
1078
00:44:57,962 --> 00:45:00,063
Oh, God!
[ CHUCKLING ]
Three-second rule.
1079
00:45:00,065 --> 00:45:02,231
Good, good, good.
You're fine. He's fine.
1080
00:45:02,233 --> 00:45:03,833
[ SIGHS ]
1081
00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:11,407
[ SIGHS ]
1082
00:45:16,213 --> 00:45:18,748
Okay,
now I'm getting scared.
1083
00:45:20,784 --> 00:45:21,884
Okay.
1084
00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,853
[ SMOOCHES ]
1085
00:45:23,855 --> 00:45:27,223
Sleep, sleep.
1086
00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:30,259
Too hot in here.
No blanket, okay?
1087
00:45:30,261 --> 00:45:32,462
Shh.
1088
00:45:32,464 --> 00:45:35,298
Here's your buddy.
1089
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:38,868
Love ya, love ya.
1090
00:45:42,806 --> 00:45:44,741
Mom's sleeping there.
1091
00:45:44,743 --> 00:45:46,976
Okay, can I sleep with her?
1092
00:45:46,978 --> 00:45:49,011
No, you'll crush her.
1093
00:45:49,013 --> 00:45:51,481
No, I just... I could get in
with her and spoon with her.
1094
00:45:51,483 --> 00:45:52,749
It would be nice.
1095
00:45:52,751 --> 00:45:54,584
I don't wanna see that.
1096
00:45:54,586 --> 00:45:56,853
No.
[ SMACKS LIPS ] Okay.
1097
00:45:56,855 --> 00:45:58,654
We'll let mommy rest.
1098
00:45:58,656 --> 00:46:00,623
I'll, uh, I'll figure it out.
1099
00:46:00,625 --> 00:46:01,891
I love you.
1100
00:46:01,893 --> 00:46:03,493
I love you too, dad.
Good night.
1101
00:46:03,495 --> 00:46:04,627
Sleep good.
1102
00:46:04,629 --> 00:46:06,929
[ GRUNTS ]
1103
00:46:06,931 --> 00:46:09,665
Me and you there, shorty.
1104
00:46:09,667 --> 00:46:13,703
Okay, that's right.
Right on my neck.
1105
00:46:13,705 --> 00:46:17,507
That's gonna make a nice evening
for me.
1106
00:46:17,509 --> 00:46:19,442
[ SIGHS ]
1107
00:46:36,827 --> 00:46:41,264
Hey, guys.
It is time to wake up.
1108
00:46:41,266 --> 00:46:45,668
Africa awaits us.
It's a beautiful morning.
1109
00:46:45,670 --> 00:46:46,936
Is he crazy?
1110
00:46:46,938 --> 00:46:49,338
HILARY: Go away.
It's way too early.
1111
00:46:49,340 --> 00:46:52,508
Lou, will you wake up
with daddy, please?
1112
00:46:52,510 --> 00:46:56,879
[ GROWLING ] In the name
of Lucifer, let us sleep.
1113
00:46:58,382 --> 00:47:02,885
Up, up, up, you two.
I have quite a day planned.
1114
00:47:04,822 --> 00:47:08,257
[ SIGHS ]
I need a coffee.
1115
00:47:12,930 --> 00:47:13,996
Morning.
1116
00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:16,032
Big day planned?
1117
00:47:16,034 --> 00:47:19,435
Oh, yeah.
7:15 nature walk.
1118
00:47:19,437 --> 00:47:22,538
8:30 petting zoo.
10:00 A.M. native crafts.
1119
00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:25,374
Ah.
The boys,
they're so excited.
1120
00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:27,009
Oh, really? My girls
are ecstatic also.
1121
00:47:27,011 --> 00:47:28,811
They're just jumping
up and down on the bed.
1122
00:47:28,813 --> 00:47:29,946
Can't believe
they're here.
1123
00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:32,181
Cream?
BOTH: No, thank you.
1124
00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:35,384
Sugar?
BOTH: Yes, please.
1125
00:47:37,254 --> 00:47:39,155
Couldn't get the boys
out of bed, could you?
1126
00:47:39,157 --> 00:47:40,790
No.
The girls?
1127
00:47:40,792 --> 00:47:43,092
The girls are probably sleeping
the rest of the trip.
1128
00:47:43,094 --> 00:47:46,062
So... Possible exorcism coming
for the little one.
1129
00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:47,897
We'll see what happens.
1130
00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:51,267
Well, it's beautiful here.
1131
00:47:51,269 --> 00:47:52,168
Oh, yeah.
1132
00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:54,437
[ RHINOCEROSES GRUNTING ]
1133
00:47:57,941 --> 00:47:59,842
I'll see you around.
1134
00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:01,844
Yeah. Have a good one.
1135
00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:06,449
You won't see that
in New Jersey.
1136
00:48:06,451 --> 00:48:08,451
Okay. All right.
1137
00:48:08,453 --> 00:48:10,486
All right. Here we go. Okay.
Here you go, baby.
1138
00:48:10,488 --> 00:48:11,821
That's it, sweetie.
Take him down.
1139
00:48:11,823 --> 00:48:13,789
Take him!
That's it. Back him.
1140
00:48:13,791 --> 00:48:15,591
Use your weight!
Muscle him!
1141
00:48:15,593 --> 00:48:16,859
[ GRUNTS ]
1142
00:48:16,861 --> 00:48:18,561
Use your body.
[ GRUNTS ]
1143
00:48:18,563 --> 00:48:20,429
Oh, yes!
Finish it!
1144
00:48:20,431 --> 00:48:22,031
[ GROANS ]
1145
00:48:22,033 --> 00:48:23,266
And bam!
That's it! Yes!
1146
00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:25,935
Yes!
Way to go, Larry.
1147
00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:30,339
Winner's up. Let's go.
Gimme the ball.
1148
00:48:30,341 --> 00:48:32,008
Buddy.
1149
00:48:32,010 --> 00:48:33,376
Up top.
1150
00:48:34,778 --> 00:48:36,045
And we go in.
1151
00:48:36,047 --> 00:48:37,546
Let's go. Get loose.
1152
00:48:37,548 --> 00:48:40,249
Cut. Cut!
1153
00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:41,183
Larry! Move!
1154
00:48:41,185 --> 00:48:44,020
Come on.
What are you doin'?
1155
00:48:46,723 --> 00:48:49,458
Larry?
Just cut!
1156
00:48:49,460 --> 00:48:50,493
Go! Break it.
1157
00:48:50,495 --> 00:48:53,095
Shake him off. Come on.
Are you...
1158
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:54,797
are you voguing right now?
1159
00:48:54,799 --> 00:48:57,166
What is happening?
1160
00:48:57,168 --> 00:48:59,168
Here!
Just take the ball.
1161
00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:01,938
Work the kid. Work him.
Lose him.
1162
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:04,840
Cross him. Cross him over.
Cross him.
1163
00:49:04,842 --> 00:49:06,342
Don't skip!
Yo!
1164
00:49:06,344 --> 00:49:08,344
Why you moving like that?
Is it the bra?
1165
00:49:08,346 --> 00:49:10,579
'Cause if... if it's the bra,
just take it off.
1166
00:49:10,581 --> 00:49:11,981
You don't need it anyways.
1167
00:49:17,955 --> 00:49:19,622
What?
1168
00:49:20,691 --> 00:49:22,191
[ SOBS ]
1169
00:49:22,193 --> 00:49:25,094
What are you doing?
We just started.
1170
00:49:25,096 --> 00:49:27,863
Is your boy okay?
Why does he wear a bra?
1171
00:49:27,865 --> 00:49:29,999
She's a girl.
1172
00:49:31,568 --> 00:49:33,636
You suck.
1173
00:49:33,638 --> 00:49:36,906
♪ You suck, you suck, you suck,
you suck, you suck, you suck ♪
1174
00:49:36,908 --> 00:49:40,843
[ SINGING IN ZULU ]
1175
00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:44,513
♪ Your boy has no skills ♪
1176
00:49:44,515 --> 00:49:46,349
♪ you schooled
by a little girl ♪
1177
00:49:46,351 --> 00:49:48,050
♪ you suck, you suck, you suck ♪
1178
00:49:58,729 --> 00:50:00,896
Tyler, slow down!
1179
00:50:00,898 --> 00:50:02,164
Come on, mom!
1180
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,699
We're going four Miles
per hour.
1181
00:50:03,701 --> 00:50:06,736
That's plenty fast enough.
Fast and safe.
1182
00:50:06,738 --> 00:50:08,004
MFANA: Miss Palmer!
1183
00:50:08,006 --> 00:50:09,939
It's okay to go fast.
1184
00:50:09,941 --> 00:50:11,607
Oh, okay, mfana.
1185
00:50:11,609 --> 00:50:13,242
Watch me!
1186
00:50:13,244 --> 00:50:15,644
[ LAUGHS ]
Whee!
1187
00:50:15,646 --> 00:50:17,079
WOMAN:
You're going the wrong way!
1188
00:50:17,081 --> 00:50:18,614
Watch out, grandma!
1189
00:50:18,616 --> 00:50:21,684
Aaah!
1190
00:50:21,686 --> 00:50:23,386
My bad.
1191
00:50:23,388 --> 00:50:27,857
WOMAN: The blending process
is really going well for us.
1192
00:50:27,859 --> 00:50:29,492
My husband's 13-year-old
1193
00:50:29,494 --> 00:50:32,528
still has some hatred issues
towards me.
1194
00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:35,231
But it is becoming
less physical.
1195
00:50:35,233 --> 00:50:36,465
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
So it's a start.
1196
00:50:36,467 --> 00:50:39,168
That's great.
WOMAN #2: Good for you.
1197
00:50:39,170 --> 00:50:40,669
Yeah. I woke up this morning
1198
00:50:40,671 --> 00:50:43,105
with a pillow pressed
against my face.
1199
00:50:43,107 --> 00:50:45,441
But I could sense some guilt
afterwards.
1200
00:50:45,443 --> 00:50:47,143
So that's progress.
Yeah.
1201
00:50:47,145 --> 00:50:48,477
Hang in there, ladies.
1202
00:50:48,479 --> 00:50:50,479
There's a light at the end
of the tunnel.
1203
00:50:50,481 --> 00:50:54,683
This little angel here is
finally starting to think of me
1204
00:50:54,685 --> 00:50:55,818
as her second mom.
1205
00:50:55,820 --> 00:50:58,921
Not just her former
gymnastics teacher.
1206
00:50:58,923 --> 00:51:00,723
Wha-what are you drawing,
honey?
1207
00:51:00,725 --> 00:51:03,292
It's a picture of elephants
stomping on your head
1208
00:51:03,294 --> 00:51:04,660
and making you dead.
1209
00:51:06,296 --> 00:51:08,064
[ GIGGLES ]
Stop it.
1210
00:51:08,066 --> 00:51:09,665
[ SIGHS ]
1211
00:51:09,667 --> 00:51:10,766
Don't worry.
1212
00:51:10,768 --> 00:51:12,401
What happens in Africa
stays in Africa.
1213
00:51:13,603 --> 00:51:15,004
Bump my fist?
1214
00:51:15,006 --> 00:51:17,573
[ GIGGLES ]
Jim's so funny.
1215
00:51:17,575 --> 00:51:18,841
Yeah.
1216
00:51:25,082 --> 00:51:26,549
[ GROWLS ]
1217
00:51:26,551 --> 00:51:27,883
[ SQUEALS ]
1218
00:51:27,885 --> 00:51:31,754
[ "BANAMANGA" PLAYING ]
1219
00:51:31,756 --> 00:51:35,491
TYLER: [ GRUNTS ]
My head is boiling, mom.
1220
00:51:35,493 --> 00:51:37,059
Get it off.
I'm trying.
1221
00:51:37,061 --> 00:51:39,195
Why did you tie it
with so many knots?
1222
00:51:39,197 --> 00:51:40,596
'Cause I didn't want it
to come flying off.
1223
00:51:40,598 --> 00:51:43,666
Oh, my God!
What happened to her face?
1224
00:51:43,668 --> 00:51:45,468
I painted it.
Sh-she's a kitty cat.
1225
00:51:45,470 --> 00:51:47,169
Are you wearing
eye shadow?
1226
00:51:47,171 --> 00:51:50,506
I made daddy a princess,
but he washed the paint off.
1227
00:51:50,508 --> 00:51:51,874
Well, not all the way off
1228
00:51:51,876 --> 00:51:53,509
because he looks a little
like lady gaga.
1229
00:51:53,511 --> 00:51:55,444
Why is this kid
wearing a helmet?
1230
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:57,880
Are you carryin' him to bed
again or somethin'?
1231
00:51:57,882 --> 00:52:00,116
No, I tied the chin strap
too many times.
1232
00:52:00,118 --> 00:52:01,584
It's...
I can't get it off.
1233
00:52:01,586 --> 00:52:04,153
Best thing about workin'
at a sporting goods store...
1234
00:52:04,155 --> 00:52:05,621
Swiss army knives.
1235
00:52:05,623 --> 00:52:08,224
Just... just be careful.
I'll go easy.
1236
00:52:08,226 --> 00:52:10,326
Aah!
Oh!
1237
00:52:10,328 --> 00:52:12,628
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Thank you.
Thanks.
1238
00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:14,997
Sure.
Daddy, I gotta go
to the bathroom.
1239
00:52:14,999 --> 00:52:17,233
You do? Okay.
Can she take me?
1240
00:52:17,235 --> 00:52:19,401
Umm, she's got, uh,
her own life to live.
1241
00:52:19,403 --> 00:52:21,303
What do you gotta do?
One or two?
1242
00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:22,404
Number one.
1243
00:52:22,406 --> 00:52:24,006
I can handle this.
1244
00:52:24,008 --> 00:52:25,407
Okay.
1245
00:52:25,409 --> 00:52:27,776
Will you watch him?
And I mean watch him.
1246
00:52:27,778 --> 00:52:30,346
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got it, home slice.
1247
00:52:30,348 --> 00:52:31,714
Okay.
For sure.
1248
00:52:31,716 --> 00:52:32,781
What's number one again?
1249
00:52:32,783 --> 00:52:36,185
Um, it's, uh...
it's a pee-pee.
1250
00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:40,489
LOU: And sometimes,
he wipes too hard.
1251
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,992
Aw, I'm sure
he doesn't mean to.
1252
00:52:42,994 --> 00:52:44,460
No, he's a good daddy.
1253
00:52:44,462 --> 00:52:46,862
He just doesn't have
a bagina.
1254
00:52:46,864 --> 00:52:48,130
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
1255
00:52:48,132 --> 00:52:50,633
[ SIGHS ] Okay, honey.
Let's wash your hands.
1256
00:52:50,635 --> 00:52:51,667
[ GASPS ]
1257
00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:53,602
[ SOBBING ]
He's a bad daddy!
1258
00:52:53,604 --> 00:52:56,739
He made me look like
the walking dead!
1259
00:52:56,741 --> 00:52:58,474
Oh, no!
1260
00:52:58,476 --> 00:52:59,476
Oh.
1261
00:52:59,477 --> 00:53:03,212
Okay.
All right.
1262
00:53:03,214 --> 00:53:06,148
Let's see what we have
in the magic bag here.
1263
00:53:06,150 --> 00:53:09,151
Oh, perfect.
1264
00:53:09,153 --> 00:53:11,654
All right.
LA-da-da!
1265
00:53:12,889 --> 00:53:15,191
You're pretty.
1266
00:53:15,193 --> 00:53:18,160
You're prettier.
1267
00:53:18,162 --> 00:53:20,162
[ GROWLING ]
I said you are.
1268
00:53:20,164 --> 00:53:23,632
[ GROWLING ] Shut up
and let me do your makeup.
1269
00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:24,667
[ GIGGLES ]
1270
00:53:24,669 --> 00:53:26,602
LOU: Don't worry.
They're around.
1271
00:53:26,604 --> 00:53:28,337
LAUREN:
Oh, I'm not worried.
1272
00:53:28,339 --> 00:53:30,072
Maybe that's
where they are.
1273
00:53:30,074 --> 00:53:31,173
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
1274
00:53:31,175 --> 00:53:32,241
TYLER: Aw, yeah!
1275
00:53:32,243 --> 00:53:34,810
Whoo! Yeah!
1276
00:53:34,812 --> 00:53:36,378
Tyler?
1277
00:53:36,380 --> 00:53:38,480
JIM: Hold on, now!
Excuse me.
1278
00:53:38,482 --> 00:53:40,549
Hold on, big time!
[ GASPS ]
1279
00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:44,153
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[ YELLING ]
1280
00:53:44,155 --> 00:53:45,421
[ SCREAMS ]
1281
00:53:45,423 --> 00:53:47,456
Oh! Oh, my God!
I'm gonna kill him.
1282
00:53:47,458 --> 00:53:48,924
[ YELLING CONTINUES ]
1283
00:53:48,926 --> 00:53:55,331
Yeah, baby! Hold on, now!
Whoa! Whoa! Easy, homey, easy!
1284
00:53:55,333 --> 00:53:59,702
Tyler! Get off that dodo bird
right now!
1285
00:53:59,704 --> 00:54:01,604
Oh, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Everything's fine.
1286
00:54:01,606 --> 00:54:03,973
The safety instructor's
on top of it.
1287
00:54:03,975 --> 00:54:06,375
[ SNORES ]
1288
00:54:06,377 --> 00:54:08,477
[ SNARLS ]
1289
00:54:08,479 --> 00:54:10,879
Look at me, mom!
I'm a cowboy!
1290
00:54:10,881 --> 00:54:13,949
Well, partner, I bet I can
stay on longer than you!
1291
00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:15,217
It's on, sheriff.
1292
00:54:15,219 --> 00:54:17,286
No "longer"! No "staying"!
1293
00:54:17,288 --> 00:54:18,654
[ TYLER YELLING ]
1294
00:54:18,656 --> 00:54:21,090
JIM: I can't be beat!
I can't hear you!
1295
00:54:21,092 --> 00:54:22,291
You're going down!
1296
00:54:22,293 --> 00:54:24,159
I'm never gonna fall off!
Never!
1297
00:54:24,161 --> 00:54:25,694
[ LAUGHING ]
1298
00:54:25,696 --> 00:54:29,465
JIM:
Yeah! Aw, shut up! Whoo!
1299
00:54:29,467 --> 00:54:31,800
Whoo! One hand, mama!
Whoo!
1300
00:54:31,802 --> 00:54:33,736
[ SCREAMS ]
1301
00:54:33,738 --> 00:54:35,804
[ CROWD OOHS ]
1302
00:54:35,806 --> 00:54:36,972
Good!
1303
00:54:36,974 --> 00:54:38,540
Yes! I win!
1304
00:54:38,542 --> 00:54:40,909
I'm the king of Africa!
1305
00:54:40,911 --> 00:54:44,346
[ YELLS ]
Tyler!
1306
00:54:44,348 --> 00:54:46,315
[ CROWD CHEERS ]
1307
00:54:46,317 --> 00:54:47,950
[ GASPING ]
1308
00:54:47,952 --> 00:54:49,418
A winner!
1309
00:54:49,420 --> 00:54:51,120
Are you kidding me?
1310
00:54:51,122 --> 00:54:53,389
Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
1311
00:54:53,391 --> 00:54:56,425
Wow. Whoooo, boom!
1312
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:57,693
You're a moron, okay?
1313
00:54:57,695 --> 00:54:59,395
Because he could've
broken his neck!
1314
00:54:59,397 --> 00:55:01,030
Mom, mom, mom!
Did you see that?
1315
00:55:01,032 --> 00:55:03,666
I stuck the landing
and did the bull dance.
1316
00:55:03,668 --> 00:55:05,234
Yes! I saw it and I just...
you can't...
1317
00:55:05,236 --> 00:55:07,469
thank you so much for taking me
on this trip, mom.
1318
00:55:07,471 --> 00:55:09,538
This is the best day of my life!
1319
00:55:09,540 --> 00:55:12,608
Okay.
Great! Oh, good! Oh good.
1320
00:55:12,610 --> 00:55:13,842
I love you so much.
1321
00:55:13,844 --> 00:55:16,111
I'm so glad
you're having fun.
1322
00:55:16,113 --> 00:55:18,914
Awww.
You're welcome.
1323
00:55:18,916 --> 00:55:20,849
Thank you so much.
1324
00:55:20,851 --> 00:55:23,419
Why you flipping
my dad off?
Huh? I'm not.
1325
00:55:23,421 --> 00:55:25,921
♪ 2 o'clock
on a Friday mornin' ♪
1326
00:55:25,923 --> 00:55:27,189
♪ come a gun man ♪
1327
00:55:27,191 --> 00:55:28,590
♪ come a knife man ♪
1328
00:55:28,592 --> 00:55:32,494
yo! Check out white girl
in the neighborhood.
1329
00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:33,696
Am I right, my brothers?
1330
00:55:33,698 --> 00:55:35,397
[ HIGH-PITCHED VOICE ]
Woot-woot!
1331
00:55:41,638 --> 00:55:44,373
I can't believe
your dad's into my mom.
1332
00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:46,375
He doesn't like her.
She's into him.
1333
00:55:46,377 --> 00:55:48,644
No way. He's goofy
and flabby all over.
1334
00:55:48,646 --> 00:55:50,879
My mom's gorgeous
with a rocking body.
1335
00:55:50,881 --> 00:55:52,981
[ CHUCKLING ]
Hey, hey, that's sick, man.
1336
00:55:52,983 --> 00:55:54,850
That was out of context!
1337
00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:56,385
Was it?
1338
00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:57,986
[ LAUGHS ]
1339
00:55:57,988 --> 00:56:02,291
[ CHILDREN PLAYING ]
1340
00:56:02,293 --> 00:56:05,427
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
1341
00:56:24,180 --> 00:56:26,348
You know, you should just
go talk to him,
1342
00:56:26,350 --> 00:56:28,283
because he probably
won't bite.
1343
00:56:28,285 --> 00:56:31,320
Oh! [ CHUCKLES ]
No, no. I-I can't.
1344
00:56:31,322 --> 00:56:33,555
Got a boyfriend
back at home?
1345
00:56:33,557 --> 00:56:35,324
Please.
All the guys at my school
1346
00:56:35,326 --> 00:56:37,092
pretty much assume
I'm a lesbian.
1347
00:56:37,094 --> 00:56:38,961
And not the hot kind.
1348
00:56:38,963 --> 00:56:42,297
Well,
have you ever considered,
1349
00:56:42,299 --> 00:56:45,267
say, like... Changing
your hairstyle?
1350
00:56:45,269 --> 00:56:46,702
Our barber
only really knows
1351
00:56:46,704 --> 00:56:48,771
how to do this
and crew cuts, so...
1352
00:56:48,773 --> 00:56:49,705
A barber?
1353
00:56:49,707 --> 00:56:52,441
Like the kind
with a pole outside?
1354
00:56:52,443 --> 00:56:54,143
He cut
our grandfather's hair.
1355
00:56:54,145 --> 00:56:56,478
He cuts my dad's hair and...
Now he cuts our hair.
1356
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:57,613
[ CHUCKLES ]
1357
00:56:57,615 --> 00:56:59,681
May I just...?
1358
00:57:00,650 --> 00:57:02,885
Yep.
1359
00:57:04,788 --> 00:57:09,057
You have such
a beautiful face.
1360
00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:11,627
[ CHUCKLES ]
1361
00:57:11,629 --> 00:57:13,095
You know, it's funny
1362
00:57:13,097 --> 00:57:15,998
because I was actually
on my way to the salon.
1363
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,867
Do you wanna come
check it out with me?
1364
00:57:18,869 --> 00:57:20,803
For what?
1365
00:57:20,805 --> 00:57:25,874
For a hairdo... For a girl...
In this century.
1366
00:57:25,876 --> 00:57:29,478
I-I would, but, um,
I-I'd have to ask my dad
1367
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:30,612
for the money and...
1368
00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:32,281
No. N-n-no.
I don't...
1369
00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:33,415
it's on me.
1370
00:57:33,417 --> 00:57:35,851
Really?
1371
00:57:35,853 --> 00:57:38,620
It would make me
so happy.
1372
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:40,622
Because I don't get to do this
with my boys.
1373
00:57:40,624 --> 00:57:42,090
Come on, prince Valiant.
1374
00:57:42,092 --> 00:57:45,461
[ CHUCKLING ] I don't know
who that is, but okay.
1375
00:57:45,463 --> 00:57:47,429
[ CHUCKLING ] Okay.
1376
00:57:47,431 --> 00:57:51,133
Where do you buy
your clothes?
1377
00:57:51,135 --> 00:57:53,669
Oh, dad gets most
of our clothes from work.
1378
00:57:53,671 --> 00:57:55,804
Oh, then I guess
we should be grateful
1379
00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:57,539
he doesn't work
at Hooters.
1380
00:57:57,541 --> 00:57:59,575
No, my mom
worked at Hooters.
1381
00:57:59,577 --> 00:58:01,777
She what?
1382
00:58:01,779 --> 00:58:04,012
Oh, my mom.
She used to work at Hooters.
1383
00:58:04,014 --> 00:58:06,448
She managed the one
over on lake street.
1384
00:58:06,450 --> 00:58:10,619
[ CHUCKLES ]
Oh.
1385
00:58:17,660 --> 00:58:20,629
So then he gets down on one knee
and proposes.
1386
00:58:20,631 --> 00:58:22,531
Right in the middle
of kickboxing class.
1387
00:58:22,533 --> 00:58:24,099
[ CHUCKLES ]
1388
00:58:24,101 --> 00:58:27,069
He's lucky he didn't get kicked
in the nuts.
Ooh.
1389
00:58:27,071 --> 00:58:29,071
[ STRAINED ]
Oh, my nuts! [ GIGGLES ]
1390
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,007
ESPN.
1391
00:58:32,009 --> 00:58:34,977
This is the best passion fruit
I've ever tasted.
1392
00:58:34,979 --> 00:58:36,044
Try it.
1393
00:58:36,046 --> 00:58:39,081
And I got some
for your mom too.
1394
00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:41,049
Thank you.
1395
00:58:41,051 --> 00:58:43,085
You're welcome.
1396
00:58:43,087 --> 00:58:44,753
So how'd you two
sexicans meet?
1397
00:58:44,755 --> 00:58:46,421
Yeah! Hittin' 'em
with the hard questions.
1398
00:58:46,423 --> 00:58:47,456
I like it.
1399
00:58:47,458 --> 00:58:49,458
Well, we met on a blind date.
1400
00:58:49,460 --> 00:58:50,592
Ugh.
Huh.
1401
00:58:50,594 --> 00:58:52,661
Those are the worst.
Oh.
1402
00:58:52,663 --> 00:58:54,897
I've been on ten blind dates
in my life.
1403
00:58:54,899 --> 00:58:56,532
All fatties.
Ten for ten.
1404
00:58:56,534 --> 00:58:58,100
[ CHUCKLING ] All fatties.
1405
00:58:58,102 --> 00:58:59,334
[ LAUGHTER ]
1406
00:58:59,336 --> 00:59:01,370
No offense, Jim.
1407
00:59:01,372 --> 00:59:03,505
What?
1408
00:59:03,507 --> 00:59:05,340
So what happened?
Where'd he take you?
1409
00:59:05,342 --> 00:59:08,010
Actually... Hooters.
1410
00:59:08,012 --> 00:59:08,944
Here we go.
1411
00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:11,747
Which was
wonderful service,
1412
00:59:11,749 --> 00:59:14,516
nice people... Really great.
1413
00:59:14,518 --> 00:59:18,520
Aw, how romantic.
1414
00:59:18,522 --> 00:59:20,188
Oh.
1415
00:59:20,190 --> 00:59:22,124
Aw, everyone's shimmying now.
[ GIGGLES ]
1416
00:59:22,126 --> 00:59:24,326
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
1417
00:59:24,328 --> 00:59:25,527
Why you no shimmy, Jimmy?
1418
00:59:25,529 --> 00:59:28,764
Shimmy. Jim?
1419
00:59:37,807 --> 00:59:43,345
♪ I'm every woman,
it's all in me ♪
1420
00:59:43,347 --> 00:59:46,448
♪ I can read your thoughts
right now ♪
1421
00:59:46,450 --> 00:59:48,216
♪ every one from "a" to "z" ♪
1422
00:59:48,218 --> 00:59:52,988
♪ I'll make love to you
like you want me to ♪
1423
00:59:52,990 --> 00:59:57,225
♪ and I'll hold you tight,
baby, all through... ♪
1424
00:59:57,227 --> 01:00:01,296
♪ it's the end of the world
as we know it ♪
1425
01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:05,834
♪ it's the end of the world
as we know it ♪
1426
01:00:05,836 --> 01:00:07,669
♪ it's the end of the... ♪
1427
01:00:07,671 --> 01:00:11,206
where's Larry?
What happened to Larry?
1428
01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:12,808
I'm right here, dad.
1429
01:00:12,810 --> 01:00:18,647
Why w-w-were the, uh...
how did this, uh...
1430
01:00:18,649 --> 01:00:20,849
w-what's happening
right now?
1431
01:00:20,851 --> 01:00:24,419
Um, well, Lauren gave me
her salon appointment...
1432
01:00:24,421 --> 01:00:26,788
Uh-huh.
...And they put in
hair extensions
1433
01:00:26,790 --> 01:00:28,023
and [CHUCKLING] makeup
1434
01:00:28,025 --> 01:00:30,025
and she even told them
how to style it
1435
01:00:30,027 --> 01:00:33,161
and what to do,
what not to do.
1436
01:00:33,163 --> 01:00:35,631
She was pretty amazing.
1437
01:00:35,633 --> 01:00:38,300
She was amazing, huh?
1438
01:00:38,302 --> 01:00:41,403
Do you want to go get some Sushi
from the bar?
1439
01:00:41,405 --> 01:00:43,105
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Easy, scarecrow!
1440
01:00:43,107 --> 01:00:44,039
She's gotta bulk up!
1441
01:00:44,041 --> 01:00:47,643
Pork chops!
Lamb chops! Tri-tip!
1442
01:00:47,645 --> 01:00:49,845
Uh...
1443
01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:51,413
Let's go get our beef on?
1444
01:00:51,415 --> 01:00:54,683
[ CHUCKLES ]
Yeah?
1445
01:00:54,685 --> 01:00:56,084
[ SIGHS ]
1446
01:00:56,086 --> 01:00:58,186
Uh-oh. I think someone new
came to dinner.
1447
01:00:58,188 --> 01:01:01,189
A flying baby
named cupid.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1448
01:01:01,191 --> 01:01:02,791
[ IMITATES FLYING ARROW ]
Oh, cu-ping!
1449
01:01:02,793 --> 01:01:05,560
Aw! You got me!
1450
01:01:05,562 --> 01:01:07,229
[ GROANS ]
1451
01:01:07,231 --> 01:01:08,997
[ MIMICS STABBING ]
1452
01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:10,666
[ GIGGLES ]
Now we're both in love.
1453
01:01:10,668 --> 01:01:11,700
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
1454
01:01:11,702 --> 01:01:14,436
[ RETCHES ]
1455
01:01:14,438 --> 01:01:15,904
What's the matter?
1456
01:01:15,906 --> 01:01:18,040
What's the matter?
1457
01:01:18,042 --> 01:01:19,741
I just looked at my daughter,
1458
01:01:19,743 --> 01:01:21,777
and I didn't really
recognize her.
1459
01:01:21,779 --> 01:01:23,578
Kinda threw me off for a minute.
1460
01:01:23,580 --> 01:01:25,280
Well, she's 15,
you know?
1461
01:01:25,282 --> 01:01:27,949
She's bound to grow up
at some point.
1462
01:01:27,951 --> 01:01:29,384
I know.
Call me crazy,
1463
01:01:29,386 --> 01:01:32,354
I just thought maybe
that would be my decision
1464
01:01:32,356 --> 01:01:33,555
'cause she's my kid!
1465
01:01:33,557 --> 01:01:36,591
Okay!
Awkward moment.
1466
01:01:36,593 --> 01:01:37,793
Uncomfortable. Tension.
1467
01:01:37,795 --> 01:01:39,327
I'm leavin' the table.
Who's with me?
1468
01:01:39,329 --> 01:01:42,097
Me.
Me, me, me.
I'm going.
Fine.
1469
01:01:42,099 --> 01:01:46,368
Wow. Whoa. I just...
can I ask ya?
1470
01:01:46,370 --> 01:01:49,871
What made you think
you could tart up my daughter
1471
01:01:49,873 --> 01:01:51,506
without my permission?
1472
01:01:51,508 --> 01:01:55,110
You're right.
I'm sorry.
1473
01:01:55,112 --> 01:01:55,977
I am.
1474
01:01:55,979 --> 01:01:57,312
I just find it hypocritical
1475
01:01:57,314 --> 01:01:59,414
from someone
who nearly killed my son.
1476
01:01:59,416 --> 01:02:01,349
Oh, so it was getting even?
Is that it?
1477
01:02:01,351 --> 01:02:03,185
No, it's not getting even,
but I just...
1478
01:02:03,187 --> 01:02:04,019
oh, my God.
1479
01:02:04,021 --> 01:02:05,921
She's beautiful.
Right.
1480
01:02:05,923 --> 01:02:08,790
With that pageboy prince Valiant
haircut you gave her
1481
01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:10,926
and the tracksuit,
are you kidding me?!
1482
01:02:10,928 --> 01:02:13,095
She looked very nice
with that haircut.
1483
01:02:13,097 --> 01:02:15,931
Dying on the inside
to come out!
1484
01:02:15,933 --> 01:02:18,567
Her mother was tomboyish
at her age,
1485
01:02:18,569 --> 01:02:21,236
and that was fine
with me.
1486
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:23,705
You knew your wife
when she was 15?
1487
01:02:23,707 --> 01:02:25,874
I knew my wife
when I was 13.
1488
01:02:25,876 --> 01:02:27,242
I had a crush on her.
1489
01:02:27,244 --> 01:02:29,978
I have no idea
why she liked me back.
1490
01:02:29,980 --> 01:02:32,180
I was 90% goofy
and 10% loser.
1491
01:02:32,182 --> 01:02:38,320
Well, I was 60% urkel
and 40% screech.
1492
01:02:38,322 --> 01:02:40,756
PUT IT TO YOU THIS WAY:
If I didn't have braces,
1493
01:02:40,758 --> 01:02:42,724
my teeth would be hitting you
right now.
1494
01:02:42,726 --> 01:02:45,927
[ LAUGHS ]
1495
01:02:49,031 --> 01:02:51,333
I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
1496
01:02:51,335 --> 01:02:52,467
I feel like a jerk
1497
01:02:52,469 --> 01:02:54,336
because I put your kid
on a gooney bird
1498
01:02:54,338 --> 01:02:56,705
and I didn't ask your permission
and, and, uh...
1499
01:02:56,707 --> 01:02:58,507
no, but listen.
You're right.
1500
01:03:00,376 --> 01:03:03,211
I need to let go of the reins
a little bit.
1501
01:03:03,213 --> 01:03:09,251
I just want to say on behalf
of thathoo how happy we are
1502
01:03:09,253 --> 01:03:13,855
to see you two lovebirds
finally blending.
1503
01:03:13,857 --> 01:03:15,490
[ CHUCKLING ]
No, we're not blending.
1504
01:03:15,492 --> 01:03:17,259
We were just having
a conversation.
1505
01:03:17,261 --> 01:03:19,461
Just happy we haven't
killed each other yet.
1506
01:03:19,463 --> 01:03:22,397
♪ Blending, blending ♪
♪ yes, yes, you are blending ♪
1507
01:03:22,399 --> 01:03:24,633
♪ they're finally blending,
blending, blending ♪
♪ yes, you'll be touching ♪
1508
01:03:24,635 --> 01:03:27,135
he doesn't... we don't feel
that way about each other!
1509
01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:28,970
♪ Like wine and bobotie ♪
okay.
1510
01:03:28,972 --> 01:03:30,772
All right, let's go
get our beef on!
1511
01:03:30,774 --> 01:03:33,275
♪ And like malva pudding ♪
all right, thank you.
1512
01:03:33,277 --> 01:03:36,044
Oh. I think they're blending
over there!
1513
01:03:36,046 --> 01:03:37,879
Come now! Come now!
They're blending over here!
1514
01:03:37,881 --> 01:03:39,247
♪ Blending ♪
1515
01:03:49,325 --> 01:03:50,725
LOU: Daddy, look!
1516
01:03:50,727 --> 01:03:52,794
Oh!
JIM: Hey!
1517
01:03:52,796 --> 01:03:56,131
BRENDAN:
Oh, that is so cool!
1518
01:03:56,133 --> 01:03:59,835
[ HOT WATER'S "WAMKELEKILE"
PLAYS ]
1519
01:04:15,785 --> 01:04:18,920
[ LAUGHING ]
Woo-hoo!
1520
01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:26,194
What?
I thought I saw an eagle.
1521
01:04:26,196 --> 01:04:30,465
I saw a camel!
[ LAUGHS ]
1522
01:04:32,568 --> 01:04:34,002
JAKE: Hey, hilary.
1523
01:04:34,004 --> 01:04:36,338
Uh, you wanna come
in our truck?
1524
01:04:36,340 --> 01:04:39,107
Shouldn't you be in your coffin?
The sun's out right now.
1525
01:04:39,109 --> 01:04:41,910
Take a walk, homes.
1526
01:04:44,347 --> 01:04:47,182
Eh, eh, eh, yo, yo.
Go ahead.
1527
01:04:47,184 --> 01:04:48,316
[ GASPS ]
1528
01:05:01,497 --> 01:05:03,198
[ GAGS ]
1529
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:04,966
Oh, my God.
[ HILARY LAUGHS ]
1530
01:05:11,073 --> 01:05:13,241
Look, children.
1531
01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:15,477
The bush pig has lost
its parents,
1532
01:05:15,479 --> 01:05:18,980
so it is being cared for
by mama and papa lion.
1533
01:05:18,982 --> 01:05:22,417
Even in nature,
there are blended families.
1534
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:24,719
That's nice. Aw.
EDDY: That's sweet.
1535
01:05:24,721 --> 01:05:26,021
[ LIONS ROAR, PIG SQUEALS ]
1536
01:05:26,023 --> 01:05:27,489
[ SCREAMS ]
1537
01:05:31,861 --> 01:05:35,897
I may have misread
that situation.
1538
01:05:35,899 --> 01:05:37,766
You think so, buddy?!
1539
01:05:37,768 --> 01:05:39,167
[ ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY ]
1540
01:05:41,737 --> 01:05:44,639
[ UPBEAT DRUM MUSIC PLAYS ]
1541
01:05:45,841 --> 01:05:47,642
[ WHISTLING ]
1542
01:05:56,986 --> 01:05:58,920
HILARY: Yeah, Lauren!
1543
01:05:58,922 --> 01:06:00,755
Yeah, baby!
1544
01:06:00,757 --> 01:06:01,890
No!
1545
01:06:01,892 --> 01:06:04,626
BRENDAN:
You can do it, mom!
1546
01:06:04,628 --> 01:06:06,294
Go Lauren! Go Lauren!
1547
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:07,762
Whoa!
1548
01:06:07,764 --> 01:06:10,398
[ "WAMKELEKILE" CONTINUES ]
1549
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:12,133
[ NO AUDIO ]
1550
01:06:27,450 --> 01:06:30,085
Yeah!
1551
01:06:40,563 --> 01:06:43,531
Emotional.
Jesus.
1552
01:06:43,533 --> 01:06:45,033
Time passing. Changes.
1553
01:06:45,035 --> 01:06:47,802
[ SIGHS ]
It's... it's... it's hard.
1554
01:06:47,804 --> 01:06:49,471
You gotta let it go.
1555
01:06:49,473 --> 01:06:51,773
Turning the page.
Movin' on.
1556
01:06:51,775 --> 01:06:54,809
She was a little kid
just a...
1557
01:06:54,811 --> 01:06:56,277
processing it.
Accepting it.
1558
01:06:56,279 --> 01:06:57,912
Mm-hmm.
The circle of life.
1559
01:06:57,914 --> 01:06:59,247
Painful, though.
1560
01:06:59,249 --> 01:07:00,482
It hurts, right?
1561
01:07:00,484 --> 01:07:02,851
Nah. Not for me.
I got a boy.
1562
01:07:02,853 --> 01:07:04,953
But you're
in the shithouse.
1563
01:07:04,955 --> 01:07:06,554
Thanks.
1564
01:07:07,923 --> 01:07:11,426
MFANA: [ LAUGHING ]
Whoo! Ha! The view is splendid!
1565
01:07:11,428 --> 01:07:15,864
Ubani omunye ozayo?
Which mean "who's next?"!
1566
01:07:15,866 --> 01:07:17,032
[ LAUGHS ]
Please, mom?!
1567
01:07:17,034 --> 01:07:19,601
What? That?
Are you crazy? No.
1568
01:07:19,603 --> 01:07:21,269
If mfana can do it,
I could do it.
1569
01:07:21,271 --> 01:07:22,670
It's totally safe.
1570
01:07:22,672 --> 01:07:26,708
There is no way I'm going to
let you do that.
1571
01:07:26,710 --> 01:07:33,214
Unless I try it first and
make sure you can handle it.
1572
01:07:33,216 --> 01:07:36,217
Yeah.
Yes! Yeah!
1573
01:07:36,219 --> 01:07:38,520
Cool!
Your mom is gonna do it.
1574
01:07:39,822 --> 01:07:42,957
You have nothing to worry about.
You are in tight.
1575
01:07:42,959 --> 01:07:44,692
You got 50-gauge
webbing here.
1576
01:07:44,694 --> 01:07:48,096
Possibly malaria is the only
thing you gotta think about.
1577
01:07:48,098 --> 01:07:50,331
Don't swallow anything
weird up there.
1578
01:07:50,333 --> 01:07:52,834
Okay. What happens if, like,
I wanna signal for help,
1579
01:07:52,836 --> 01:07:56,604
or, uh, like, if I decide to
change my [ RISING PITCH ] mind!
1580
01:07:56,606 --> 01:07:57,872
Oh, yeah, baby!
1581
01:07:57,874 --> 01:07:59,541
You look good!
Oh, my God!
1582
01:07:59,543 --> 01:08:01,443
I change my mind!
I change my mind!
1583
01:08:01,445 --> 01:08:03,645
[ CHEERING ]
That's awesome!
1584
01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:06,347
Aah! Aah! Ah...
1585
01:08:06,349 --> 01:08:07,649
Oh!
1586
01:08:07,651 --> 01:08:12,053
Oh! Wow!
1587
01:08:12,055 --> 01:08:15,323
Oh, my God!
1588
01:08:15,325 --> 01:08:17,525
It's beautiful!
1589
01:08:17,527 --> 01:08:19,861
Go, mama, go!
1590
01:08:19,863 --> 01:08:21,329
Whoo!
Oh! Oh!
1591
01:08:21,331 --> 01:08:23,131
There are giraffes!
1592
01:08:23,133 --> 01:08:25,600
Jim, there are giraffes
right there!
1593
01:08:25,602 --> 01:08:26,434
I can see them!
1594
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:29,037
Well, say hello for me!
1595
01:08:29,039 --> 01:08:30,605
[ LAUGHS ]
1596
01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:32,006
Oh, wow!
1597
01:08:32,008 --> 01:08:36,811
[ GASPS ]
Oh, this is so pretty!
1598
01:08:36,813 --> 01:08:38,046
[ LAUGHING ]
1599
01:08:38,048 --> 01:08:41,616
Oh, my God!
Elephants! Elephants!
1600
01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:43,084
Oh!
1601
01:08:43,086 --> 01:08:45,920
[ IMITATES WOLF HOWLING ]
1602
01:08:45,922 --> 01:08:48,256
Thatta girl!
1603
01:08:51,293 --> 01:08:53,061
Why is she screaming?
1604
01:08:53,063 --> 01:08:55,663
She's not screaming.
She's howling.
1605
01:08:55,665 --> 01:08:56,898
She's having fun.
1606
01:08:56,900 --> 01:08:58,666
[ IMITATES WOLF HOWLING ]
1607
01:08:58,668 --> 01:09:01,069
[ ALL HOWLING ]
1608
01:09:01,071 --> 01:09:03,371
Lookin' good up there,
baby!
1609
01:09:03,373 --> 01:09:07,775
Fly, Mrs. thorpopolis!
Fly like the wind!
1610
01:09:07,777 --> 01:09:09,077
[ LAUGHS ]
1611
01:09:09,079 --> 01:09:13,081
Tyler!
You've gotta try this!
1612
01:09:13,083 --> 01:09:16,918
[ ENGINE SPUTTERS ]
1613
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:18,686
Why you slowing down?!
1614
01:09:18,688 --> 01:09:20,388
We're out of gas.
1615
01:09:20,390 --> 01:09:21,890
You're out of gas?!
What does that mean?!
1616
01:09:21,892 --> 01:09:25,360
Uh, we used to have gas.
But now we're out.
1617
01:09:25,362 --> 01:09:26,928
[ LAUREN HOWLING ]
Oh!
1618
01:09:26,930 --> 01:09:29,097
Oh! Oh, my God!
1619
01:09:29,099 --> 01:09:32,700
What's happening?
Jim!
1620
01:09:32,702 --> 01:09:34,702
We're out of gas!
1621
01:09:34,704 --> 01:09:36,004
What?!
1622
01:09:36,006 --> 01:09:37,105
Oh, no.
Oh.
1623
01:09:37,107 --> 01:09:38,706
Oh, my God! No!
1624
01:09:38,708 --> 01:09:39,974
This is all your fault!
1625
01:09:39,976 --> 01:09:42,110
Don't worry! My dad's gonna
come up with a plan!
1626
01:09:42,112 --> 01:09:43,444
What's the plan?!
1627
01:09:43,446 --> 01:09:45,580
Look for a gas station.
1628
01:09:45,582 --> 01:09:46,748
You suck.
1629
01:09:46,750 --> 01:09:48,983
Why did I let you talk me
into this?!
1630
01:09:48,985 --> 01:09:50,552
Listen to me!
1631
01:09:50,554 --> 01:09:55,123
When you get close to the
ground, start running fast!
1632
01:09:55,125 --> 01:09:57,992
I have the legs
of a corgi dog!
1633
01:09:57,994 --> 01:10:00,028
It doesn't matter
right now!
1634
01:10:00,030 --> 01:10:01,529
Move those little babies!
1635
01:10:01,531 --> 01:10:05,200
You cannot let your kids
see you die like this!
1636
01:10:05,202 --> 01:10:07,068
[ SCREAMING ]
1637
01:10:07,070 --> 01:10:08,136
Go! Go!
1638
01:10:08,138 --> 01:10:10,171
Go! Go!
1639
01:10:10,173 --> 01:10:12,740
Now!
Get those legs goin'!
1640
01:10:12,742 --> 01:10:13,541
[ ALL CHEER ]
1641
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:17,378
Oh, my God!
Rhino!
1642
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:19,113
[ ALL YELLING ]
1643
01:10:19,115 --> 01:10:22,083
No!!!
Spread 'em!
1644
01:10:22,085 --> 01:10:23,151
Oh, my God!
1645
01:10:23,153 --> 01:10:25,153
Spread the legs!
1646
01:10:25,155 --> 01:10:27,121
Her bagina!
1647
01:10:27,123 --> 01:10:29,390
[ THUDS ]
Ow!
1648
01:10:31,727 --> 01:10:33,094
Yeah!
1649
01:10:33,096 --> 01:10:35,029
[ GRUNTS ]
1650
01:10:35,031 --> 01:10:37,532
[ LAUGHTER ]
1651
01:10:37,534 --> 01:10:39,601
Go, go, go, go, go!
Dad!
1652
01:10:39,603 --> 01:10:43,137
[ SNORES ]
1653
01:10:43,139 --> 01:10:46,374
[ DRUMS BEATING ]
1654
01:11:01,857 --> 01:11:04,325
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
1655
01:11:04,327 --> 01:11:05,893
Whew!
1656
01:11:09,632 --> 01:11:11,532
Ah.
1657
01:11:11,534 --> 01:11:15,503
I didn't have you pegged
for the massage type of guy.
1658
01:11:15,505 --> 01:11:17,672
It's the first massage
I'll ever do in my life.
1659
01:11:17,674 --> 01:11:18,840
I have to.
1660
01:11:18,842 --> 01:11:21,476
To see if they can rub
my pancreas out of my neck.
1661
01:11:21,478 --> 01:11:23,511
My God.
You're welcome, by the way.
1662
01:11:23,513 --> 01:11:25,847
[ SMACKS LIPS ]
For what?
1663
01:11:25,849 --> 01:11:28,116
"For what?"
For saving you.
1664
01:11:28,118 --> 01:11:29,617
You didn't save me.
1665
01:11:29,619 --> 01:11:32,186
You told me
to keep running.
Oh, my God. I did.
1666
01:11:32,188 --> 01:11:33,354
Why didn't you catch me?
1667
01:11:33,356 --> 01:11:34,956
I was supposed
to catch you?
1668
01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:36,224
Who am I, Batman?
1669
01:11:36,226 --> 01:11:37,626
Comin' at me like
700 Miles an hour.
1670
01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:40,194
You know, you're weighin'
about a buck fifty.
1671
01:11:40,196 --> 01:11:42,430
The inertia would rip
my arms off my body.
1672
01:11:42,432 --> 01:11:44,699
Yes. That's me.
I weigh a buck fifty.
1673
01:11:44,701 --> 01:11:46,901
If I'm holding
your left ass cheek.
1674
01:11:46,903 --> 01:11:49,537
[ LAUGHS ] I don't know
what women weigh.
1675
01:11:49,539 --> 01:11:51,105
You don't know anything.
1676
01:11:51,107 --> 01:11:52,840
Mm-hmm.
Have a nice massage.
1677
01:11:52,842 --> 01:11:53,875
We'll see.
1678
01:11:53,877 --> 01:11:55,376
WOMAN: All right.
1679
01:11:55,378 --> 01:11:58,613
Now do the same on your partner
while making sure to continue
1680
01:11:58,615 --> 01:12:01,215
to look deeply
into each others' eyes.
1681
01:12:01,217 --> 01:12:05,687
[ ALL MOANING ]
1682
01:12:05,689 --> 01:12:06,621
What is this?
1683
01:12:06,623 --> 01:12:08,022
A scene out
of "the doors"?
1684
01:12:08,024 --> 01:12:10,558
I-I-I don't know.
Uh-uh, I... ma'am?
1685
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:13,695
Yeah.
I-I booked a massage.
1686
01:12:13,697 --> 01:12:16,731
Yes. You've booked for
the art of couples massage.
1687
01:12:16,733 --> 01:12:20,368
Oh! Actually there was an
avalanche in my yard, so I-I...
I just got a call from my
babysitter and there's...
1688
01:12:20,370 --> 01:12:21,703
...was comin' to my...
...An emer...
1689
01:12:21,705 --> 01:12:24,706
come on! This is exactly
what you guys need.
1690
01:12:24,708 --> 01:12:27,308
We'll form a massage train.
I'll be the caboose.
1691
01:12:27,310 --> 01:12:28,609
Unacceptable.
1692
01:12:28,611 --> 01:12:30,378
[ CHUCKLING ] I'm jokin'.
1693
01:12:30,380 --> 01:12:32,213
[ IMITATES
TRAIN WHISTLE SOFTLY ]
1694
01:12:32,215 --> 01:12:33,247
[ GIGGLES ]
1695
01:12:33,249 --> 01:12:34,615
Join us.
1696
01:12:34,617 --> 01:12:36,184
No, no, ma'am, seriously...
I'm so good. I...
1697
01:12:36,186 --> 01:12:38,252
I think you should.
This way.
1698
01:12:38,254 --> 01:12:40,688
And... There you go.
1699
01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:42,290
Oh, my God.
[ GRUNTING ] Ow!
1700
01:12:42,292 --> 01:12:43,958
Like that. There.
I... I guess.
1701
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,660
Okay!
1702
01:12:45,662 --> 01:12:50,164
Let's, uh, loosen things up
by stroking your lover's neck.
1703
01:12:50,166 --> 01:12:51,833
[ SMACKS LIPS ] Okay.
1704
01:12:51,835 --> 01:12:54,702
Come on, now.
Don't be bashful.
1705
01:12:54,704 --> 01:12:57,572
Give yourself over
to the pleasure
1706
01:12:57,574 --> 01:12:59,941
of your loving partner's touch.
1707
01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:04,545
Yeah.
1708
01:13:06,348 --> 01:13:07,582
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
1709
01:13:07,584 --> 01:13:09,884
[ CHUCKLES ] Hello.
How are you?
1710
01:13:12,955 --> 01:13:15,323
[ TIGHTLY ] Ow.
1711
01:13:15,325 --> 01:13:16,657
Remember to keep
the touch soft, uh?
1712
01:13:16,659 --> 01:13:19,360
Lightly brush your fingers
against her skin.
1713
01:13:19,362 --> 01:13:22,296
[ SCOFFS ] It's so...
1714
01:13:22,298 --> 01:13:23,698
oh, God!
What's happening?!
1715
01:13:23,700 --> 01:13:25,767
Is there a bug on me?!
[ CHUCKLING ] No.
1716
01:13:25,769 --> 01:13:27,869
There's no bug.
I was just...
1717
01:13:27,871 --> 01:13:31,606
Tryin' to get...
Some skin, like she said.
1718
01:13:31,608 --> 01:13:33,174
Well, that hurts
the jugular.
1719
01:13:33,176 --> 01:13:34,409
I won't do it.
I'm sorry.
1720
01:13:34,411 --> 01:13:39,213
I-I-I don't know...
How to give you a...
1721
01:13:39,215 --> 01:13:43,885
[ ALL MOANING ]
1722
01:13:46,355 --> 01:13:48,389
Okay, so...
[ MOANS ]
1723
01:13:48,391 --> 01:13:50,191
There you go.
Oh.
1724
01:13:50,193 --> 01:13:52,527
That's actually
really nice.
1725
01:13:52,529 --> 01:13:54,362
[ CHUCKLES ]
Good.
1726
01:13:54,364 --> 01:13:55,897
Oh, God.
1727
01:13:55,899 --> 01:13:57,432
Oh.
1728
01:13:57,434 --> 01:13:58,966
I feel like I'm relaxing.
1729
01:13:58,968 --> 01:14:01,369
It's just...
oh, it's wonderful.
1730
01:14:01,371 --> 01:14:02,737
Excuse me.
1731
01:14:02,739 --> 01:14:04,839
Am I gonna get
some sorta rub action here
1732
01:14:04,841 --> 01:14:07,708
or does the guy do all the work
in Africa?
1733
01:14:07,710 --> 01:14:09,444
Very funny, Mr. moptopolis.
1734
01:14:09,446 --> 01:14:11,646
[ CHUCKLES ]
But he's right.
1735
01:14:11,648 --> 01:14:14,015
Ladies, it's time for you
to join in.
1736
01:14:14,017 --> 01:14:17,919
As your partner moves down
to your shoulders,
1737
01:14:17,921 --> 01:14:20,254
reach out and touch his ears.
1738
01:14:20,256 --> 01:14:24,692
Gently rub the lobes between
your thumb and index finger
1739
01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:27,995
as if you were rubbing
the morning dew
1740
01:14:27,997 --> 01:14:29,464
off a flower petal.
1741
01:14:29,466 --> 01:14:30,665
Uh-huh.
1742
01:14:30,667 --> 01:14:32,834
Are these
your flower petals?
1743
01:14:32,836 --> 01:14:34,001
Yes.
Now rub the dew.
1744
01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:35,470
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ CHUCKLES ] Do the dew.
1745
01:14:35,472 --> 01:14:37,705
I'd be doing you
a really big favor
1746
01:14:37,707 --> 01:14:40,608
if I just yanked these
goofy things right off.
1747
01:14:40,610 --> 01:14:42,910
Oh, just sh-sh-shut up,
schlumpy shoulders.
1748
01:14:42,912 --> 01:14:44,378
I do have
schlumpy shoulders.
1749
01:14:44,380 --> 01:14:45,746
No, you don't.
They're very nice.
1750
01:14:45,748 --> 01:14:46,881
They're very nice.
I do.
1751
01:14:46,883 --> 01:14:48,516
But you know what helps
if... if y...
1752
01:14:48,518 --> 01:14:49,951
if you need to work
on your posture?
1753
01:14:49,953 --> 01:14:51,686
Here, just lift your arms
a little bit.
1754
01:14:51,688 --> 01:14:53,588
Watch, I'll show you.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1755
01:14:53,590 --> 01:14:54,856
All right.
Aah!
1756
01:14:54,858 --> 01:14:56,290
[ LAUGHS ]
1757
01:14:56,292 --> 01:14:58,826
God. Feels very good.
1758
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:01,662
You have nice shoulders.
Really?
1759
01:15:01,664 --> 01:15:03,764
No, you really have
a lot of muscle.
1760
01:15:03,766 --> 01:15:06,167
Eh, no.
Not as much as you.
1761
01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:08,769
From carrying that kid around
and smashing his head.
1762
01:15:09,938 --> 01:15:10,938
[ EDDY GRUNTS ]
1763
01:15:10,940 --> 01:15:12,406
GINGER: Oh, yeah!
Work 'em.
1764
01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:14,542
Mr. wernick. Those are not
your wife's shoulders.
1765
01:15:14,544 --> 01:15:17,245
Busted!
[ GIGGLES ]
1766
01:15:17,247 --> 01:15:18,546
Lovin' it, though.
1767
01:15:18,548 --> 01:15:20,414
Respect the vision.
I get it.
1768
01:15:20,416 --> 01:15:22,583
Gotta go for it, right?
You do!
1769
01:15:24,152 --> 01:15:26,888
[ SIGHS ]
1770
01:15:26,890 --> 01:15:29,857
[ HIGH-PITCHED VOICE ]
Whoa!
1771
01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:33,594
[ INHALES ] Mm,
that was so relaxing.
1772
01:15:33,596 --> 01:15:35,029
[ CHUCKLES ]
1773
01:15:35,031 --> 01:15:37,565
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
1774
01:15:37,567 --> 01:15:40,801
I hope I put your pancreas
back where it belongs.
1775
01:15:40,803 --> 01:15:43,404
[ CHUCKLING ] I don't even know
where it is right now.
1776
01:15:43,406 --> 01:15:45,039
[ GINGER AND EDDY GIGGLING ]
1777
01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:46,574
EDDY: Are you
my sexy little wormhole?
1778
01:15:46,576 --> 01:15:48,175
GINGER: Yeah, I'm your sexy
little wormhole!
1779
01:15:48,177 --> 01:15:50,244
[ GRUNTS ] Sexy...
1780
01:15:51,179 --> 01:15:54,615
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
1781
01:15:54,617 --> 01:15:56,651
[ SIGHS ]
They have fun.
1782
01:16:01,156 --> 01:16:05,326
[ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ]
That's very pretty.
1783
01:16:05,328 --> 01:16:06,561
[ GIGGLES ]
1784
01:16:06,563 --> 01:16:09,564
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
1785
01:16:09,566 --> 01:16:11,165
You were...
you were very nice.
1786
01:16:11,167 --> 01:16:12,500
Thank you.
1787
01:16:12,502 --> 01:16:14,168
[ CHUCKLES ]
Oh, you know.
1788
01:16:14,170 --> 01:16:17,905
You're a strong woman.
Strong hands.
1789
01:16:17,907 --> 01:16:22,076
I'm glad
you like my hands.
1790
01:16:25,447 --> 01:16:26,514
Daddy?
1791
01:16:26,516 --> 01:16:29,216
Can Lauren put me to bed?
1792
01:16:29,218 --> 01:16:33,254
Sweetheart, daddy will put you
to bed in one second.
1793
01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:35,456
But I want Lauren.
1794
01:16:35,458 --> 01:16:36,557
Lauren w...
1795
01:16:36,559 --> 01:16:38,960
another time,
Lauren will do that.
1796
01:16:38,962 --> 01:16:42,263
[ WHINING ] But I want her
to put me to bed tonight.
1797
01:16:42,265 --> 01:16:43,698
And daddy said no.
1798
01:16:43,700 --> 01:16:45,700
[ GRUNTS PETULANTLY ]
No.
1799
01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:47,535
[ GRUNTS PETULANTLY ]
No!
1800
01:16:47,537 --> 01:16:49,604
[ GRUNTS PETULANTLY ]
No!
1801
01:16:49,606 --> 01:16:52,707
[ GROWLING ]
I want Lauren.
1802
01:16:53,909 --> 01:16:57,912
[ GROWLING ]
I'm flattered.
1803
01:16:57,914 --> 01:17:00,348
[ LAUGHS ]
That's good.
1804
01:17:00,350 --> 01:17:01,782
You're all right.
1805
01:17:01,784 --> 01:17:06,220
Okay. How's that?
Are you all cozy now?
1806
01:17:06,222 --> 01:17:07,888
Yes.
Daddy?
1807
01:17:07,890 --> 01:17:12,026
Can you give us
some alone time?
1808
01:17:14,496 --> 01:17:16,597
I could go
to the bathroom outside.
1809
01:17:16,599 --> 01:17:18,633
Is that what you want?
You got it.
1810
01:17:18,635 --> 01:17:21,202
Thrown out
of my own tent.
1811
01:17:21,204 --> 01:17:23,270
I own him.
1812
01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:25,072
It seems that way.
1813
01:17:25,074 --> 01:17:28,676
Can you rub my head
so I have good dreams?
1814
01:17:30,412 --> 01:17:32,046
Of course.
1815
01:17:34,516 --> 01:17:37,385
What a cute little head.
1816
01:17:37,387 --> 01:17:39,253
[ JIM URINATING ]
1817
01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:41,122
[ WHINING ] Ew.
1818
01:17:41,124 --> 01:17:44,659
Couldn't go a little further
from the tent?
1819
01:17:44,661 --> 01:17:46,394
[ SCOFFS ]
What do you want from me?
1820
01:17:46,396 --> 01:17:48,963
There could be gorillas
out here, ready to kill.
1821
01:17:48,965 --> 01:17:56,037
[ URINATING STOPS,
RESUMES, STOPS, RESUMES ]
1822
01:17:56,039 --> 01:17:57,838
Well,
why don't you get them
1823
01:17:57,840 --> 01:17:59,974
to give you some Flomax
or something.
1824
01:17:59,976 --> 01:18:02,777
Yep, gettin' older.
I'll give you that.
1825
01:18:02,779 --> 01:18:05,646
Can you sing to me?
1826
01:18:05,648 --> 01:18:08,883
Um, sure.
1827
01:18:08,885 --> 01:18:10,718
What should I sing?
1828
01:18:12,788 --> 01:18:19,360
♪ Somewhere over the rainbow ♪
1829
01:18:19,362 --> 01:18:23,731
♪ way up high ♪
♪ way up high ♪
1830
01:18:23,733 --> 01:18:28,903
♪ there's a land
that I heard of ♪
1831
01:18:28,905 --> 01:18:34,375
♪ once in a lullaby ♪
1832
01:18:34,377 --> 01:18:38,546
♪ someday
I'll wish upon a star ♪
1833
01:18:38,548 --> 01:18:44,585
♪ and wake up where the clouds
are far behind me ♪
1834
01:18:44,587 --> 01:18:49,890
♪ where troubles melt
like lemon drops ♪
1835
01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:55,463
♪ away above
the chimney tops ♪
1836
01:18:55,465 --> 01:18:57,965
♪ that's where ♪
1837
01:18:57,967 --> 01:19:04,839
♪ you'll find me ♪
1838
01:19:33,201 --> 01:19:35,136
there's a gorilla
right there!
[ SCREAMS ]
1839
01:19:35,138 --> 01:19:36,637
[ CHUCKLING ]
I'm just kidding!
1840
01:19:36,639 --> 01:19:37,972
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry, I just...
1841
01:19:37,974 --> 01:19:40,107
I couldn't handle how
emotional it was getting.
1842
01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:42,243
I just... [ CHUCKLING ]
I'm so... get some rest.
1843
01:19:42,245 --> 01:19:43,911
I didn't mean
to do that to you.
1844
01:19:43,913 --> 01:19:46,380
[ APPLAUSE ]
1845
01:19:52,921 --> 01:19:54,789
JIM: So get in your stance.
That's right.
1846
01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:57,324
And spread your legs just
a little bit. Like an inch.
1847
01:19:57,326 --> 01:19:59,727
Elbow up.
It's all about balance.
1848
01:19:59,729 --> 01:20:00,961
That's right.
That's right.
1849
01:20:00,963 --> 01:20:02,229
Keep your weight
right there.
1850
01:20:02,231 --> 01:20:04,298
How do you even
play cricket?
1851
01:20:04,300 --> 01:20:06,066
We're not playing cricket.
We're playing baseball.
1852
01:20:06,068 --> 01:20:07,968
The only thing at the hotel
they had
1853
01:20:07,970 --> 01:20:09,970
was this stupid...
Battle thingamajiggy.
1854
01:20:09,972 --> 01:20:11,005
Who's that guy?
1855
01:20:11,007 --> 01:20:12,640
He's some guy named Dale.
1856
01:20:12,642 --> 01:20:14,375
Uhhh,
he'll be pitchin' to ya.
1857
01:20:14,377 --> 01:20:16,811
Yeah, in cricket
we don't pitch, we bowl.
1858
01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:18,612
Hey, Dale.
How much am I payin' ya?
1859
01:20:18,614 --> 01:20:21,348
Five Brooklyn t-shirts from
your sporting goods store.
1860
01:20:21,350 --> 01:20:23,951
Okay, I'm gonna make it four
if you correct me again.
1861
01:20:23,953 --> 01:20:27,254
All right, Dale.
Pitch... or bowl one in.
1862
01:20:29,691 --> 01:20:31,125
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
I stink at this.
1863
01:20:31,127 --> 01:20:32,459
No, it's not you.
It's not you.
1864
01:20:32,461 --> 01:20:33,894
Dale, you think maybe
you can reach the plate?
1865
01:20:33,896 --> 01:20:35,162
That would help.
1866
01:20:35,164 --> 01:20:37,665
Actually, in cricket
we bounce the...
1867
01:20:37,667 --> 01:20:39,500
I'll try. I'll try.
1868
01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:40,868
All right.
1869
01:20:40,870 --> 01:20:42,903
Elbow up. Come on.
Get there.
1870
01:20:44,973 --> 01:20:47,074
I don't wanna do this!
1871
01:20:47,076 --> 01:20:48,576
Hey, hey.
What are you doin'?
1872
01:20:48,578 --> 01:20:49,810
You don't throw your bat.
1873
01:20:49,812 --> 01:20:51,045
Or whatever this thing
is called.
1874
01:20:51,047 --> 01:20:52,847
A bat.
Thank you.
1875
01:20:52,849 --> 01:20:54,281
You're an athlete.
You're a sportsman.
1876
01:20:54,283 --> 01:20:56,050
You gotta respect
your equipment.
1877
01:20:56,052 --> 01:20:58,052
[ SIGHS ] Yes, sir.
1878
01:20:58,054 --> 01:20:59,954
We ain't leaving here
till you hit the ball
1879
01:20:59,956 --> 01:21:01,622
as good
as you ride an ostrich.
1880
01:21:02,757 --> 01:21:04,124
Pick up the bat.
1881
01:21:04,726 --> 01:21:06,460
Hey.
1882
01:21:06,462 --> 01:21:08,462
I know you're up there
all alone.
1883
01:21:08,464 --> 01:21:11,131
It's scary. You feel like
all the pressure's on you.
1884
01:21:11,133 --> 01:21:14,301
But guess what?
The pressure is on him.
1885
01:21:14,303 --> 01:21:18,172
Doesn't look like
he's feeling the pressure.
1886
01:21:20,742 --> 01:21:22,309
Oh, he's feeling it
all right.
1887
01:21:22,311 --> 01:21:24,578
He doesn't think he can get
the ball past ya.
1888
01:21:24,580 --> 01:21:27,748
I want ya to look him
right in the eyes
1889
01:21:27,750 --> 01:21:29,617
and let him know
you own him.
1890
01:21:29,619 --> 01:21:32,186
Go ahead.
1891
01:21:32,188 --> 01:21:35,289
That's it, big time.
Give him the stink eye.
1892
01:21:35,291 --> 01:21:37,391
[ GROWLS ]
1893
01:21:37,393 --> 01:21:39,894
What's his problem?
[ SCOFFS ]
1894
01:21:39,896 --> 01:21:42,096
Well, look at that.
You rattled him.
1895
01:21:42,098 --> 01:21:46,233
Okay. Dale, pitch it in
if ya got the guts.
1896
01:21:47,669 --> 01:21:49,870
Whoa!
1897
01:21:49,872 --> 01:21:51,705
Yes!
Did you see that?!
1898
01:21:51,707 --> 01:21:52,973
I killed it!
1899
01:21:52,975 --> 01:21:54,775
Let's do it
a hundred more times.
1900
01:21:54,777 --> 01:21:55,976
If I hit like that,
1901
01:21:55,978 --> 01:21:57,811
my dad's gonna start
comin' to my games.
1902
01:21:57,813 --> 01:21:59,213
What's goin' on here?
1903
01:21:59,215 --> 01:22:01,515
Jim just taught me how to make
the pitcher my bitch.
1904
01:22:01,517 --> 01:22:03,617
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
1905
01:22:05,487 --> 01:22:07,821
My brother doesn't need you
to teach him how to hit!
1906
01:22:07,823 --> 01:22:09,924
Okay.
You wanna show him how to do it?
1907
01:22:09,926 --> 01:22:11,358
Let's see what you got.
1908
01:22:11,360 --> 01:22:13,694
I don't need to prove
anything to you, d-bag.
1909
01:22:13,696 --> 01:22:17,464
Dale, did he really
just call me a d-bag?
1910
01:22:17,466 --> 01:22:19,366
This shit just got real.
1911
01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:21,302
BRENDAN:
I'm gonna kill you.
1912
01:22:21,304 --> 01:22:24,104
JIM: Okay, we'll see.
Let's get your gloves up.
1913
01:22:24,106 --> 01:22:25,306
Face protected.
1914
01:22:25,308 --> 01:22:27,841
Kick his ass, Brendan!
What's that?
1915
01:22:27,843 --> 01:22:30,110
Kick his ass, Jim!
Uh-huh.
1916
01:22:30,112 --> 01:22:31,645
[ GRUNTS ]
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
1917
01:22:31,647 --> 01:22:33,681
You see, you gotta...
you gotta look at your target.
1918
01:22:33,683 --> 01:22:36,050
How 'bout I put a picture
of your babysitter on my face?
1919
01:22:36,052 --> 01:22:37,318
Will you look at it then?
Huh?
1920
01:22:37,320 --> 01:22:39,887
[ GRUNTS ]
Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah.
1921
01:22:39,889 --> 01:22:40,921
Just leave her
out of this!
1922
01:22:40,923 --> 01:22:42,189
Use your right hand.
1923
01:22:42,191 --> 01:22:43,590
You're better with that one,
aren't you?
1924
01:22:43,592 --> 01:22:44,959
[ GRUNTING ]
All right, all right.
Boom.
1925
01:22:44,961 --> 01:22:46,760
Ow.
Oh!
1926
01:22:46,762 --> 01:22:48,195
You seem pissed at me.
1927
01:22:48,197 --> 01:22:50,164
You just hit me!
No! Before that.
1928
01:22:50,166 --> 01:22:52,232
Before that,
like when we first met.
1929
01:22:52,234 --> 01:22:55,336
Just think that my mom
could do better.
1930
01:22:55,338 --> 01:22:56,737
First of all,
she can't do better,
1931
01:22:56,739 --> 01:22:57,871
'cause no one's better
than me.
1932
01:22:57,873 --> 01:22:59,039
I am the greatest.
1933
01:22:59,041 --> 01:23:00,441
Secondly,
I think it's nice
1934
01:23:00,443 --> 01:23:02,476
that you wanna protect
your mommy.
1935
01:23:02,478 --> 01:23:03,644
I hate you!
1936
01:23:03,646 --> 01:23:05,245
[ GRUNTS ] Oh!
Oh. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
1937
01:23:05,247 --> 01:23:06,647
Calm down. Calm down.
That was good, though.
1938
01:23:06,649 --> 01:23:08,449
Showin' a little somethin'
in there.
1939
01:23:08,451 --> 01:23:11,318
Listen... Being a man ain't
about pissin' and moanin'
1940
01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:13,253
anytime somethin's
botherin' you.
1941
01:23:13,255 --> 01:23:15,222
It's about dealin' with
what's in front of you.
1942
01:23:15,224 --> 01:23:16,757
So deal with me.
1943
01:23:16,759 --> 01:23:18,692
[ GRUNTS ] You...
1944
01:23:18,694 --> 01:23:20,094
are you okay?
1945
01:23:20,096 --> 01:23:22,696
[ PANTING ]
That was sneaky.
1946
01:23:22,698 --> 01:23:23,897
But I'm fine.
1947
01:23:23,899 --> 01:23:27,067
Does that make me a man,
now, jimbo?
1948
01:23:27,069 --> 01:23:32,272
No. Askin' me if I was okay,
that was a start.
1949
01:23:33,308 --> 01:23:35,142
♪ They are blending ♪
1950
01:23:35,144 --> 01:23:37,344
♪ they're blending and bonding
they're blending and bonding ♪
1951
01:23:37,346 --> 01:23:38,879
♪ they are bonding ♪
1952
01:23:38,881 --> 01:23:40,748
♪ they're blending and bonding
and learning ♪
1953
01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:41,949
yeah, that's great.
1954
01:23:41,951 --> 01:23:43,784
Didn't know you guys
worked out together,
1955
01:23:43,786 --> 01:23:45,786
but it makes sense.
1956
01:23:45,788 --> 01:23:48,922
♪ They're blending and bonding ♪
♪ when one person
meets another ♪
1957
01:23:48,924 --> 01:23:51,792
♪ blending and bonding ♪
♪ come together ♪
1958
01:23:51,794 --> 01:23:54,928
♪ blending and bonding ♪
♪ oh, they are blending ♪
1959
01:23:54,930 --> 01:23:57,498
[ VOCALIZING AS BED VIBRATES ]
1960
01:24:02,203 --> 01:24:04,304
And then what happened?
1961
01:24:04,306 --> 01:24:07,107
TYLER: [ VOICE VIBRATING ]
The bowler threw it,
1962
01:24:07,109 --> 01:24:09,009
and I hit it
like a mile away.
1963
01:24:09,011 --> 01:24:10,544
[ VOICE VIBRATING ]
Yeah.
1964
01:24:10,546 --> 01:24:12,713
And then Jim taught me
how to box.
1965
01:24:12,715 --> 01:24:16,050
And after five minutes,
I basically knocked him out.
1966
01:24:16,052 --> 01:24:17,251
Yeah!
1967
01:24:17,253 --> 01:24:20,154
Well,
that was nice of him.
1968
01:24:20,156 --> 01:24:23,657
Kinda worked out well,
they came on this trip.
1969
01:24:23,659 --> 01:24:26,627
Yes, it did.
1970
01:24:26,629 --> 01:24:28,128
[ BOTH VOCALIZING ]
1971
01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,437
[ GASPS ]
1972
01:24:42,177 --> 01:24:45,012
JEN: "Lauren, you looked so hot
in this dress
1973
01:24:45,014 --> 01:24:46,447
"I had to buy it for you.
1974
01:24:46,449 --> 01:24:48,315
And by 'buy, ' I mean 'steal.'"
[ CHUCKLES ]
1975
01:24:48,317 --> 01:24:50,384
"Hope you're having fun
on my vacation."
1976
01:24:54,456 --> 01:24:58,192
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
1977
01:24:58,194 --> 01:25:00,327
So its... its tongue
was ridiculous.
1978
01:25:00,329 --> 01:25:02,563
[ CHUCKLES ] It got me,
like, all over.
1979
01:25:02,565 --> 01:25:06,100
It was, like, in balls.
They were like... [GROWLS]
1980
01:25:06,102 --> 01:25:07,701
Oh! Like a stick...
like a stem.
1981
01:25:07,703 --> 01:25:09,136
Like... like a stem going
against each other,
head-to-head.
1982
01:25:09,138 --> 01:25:10,404
HILARY: Dad.
1983
01:25:10,406 --> 01:25:12,272
Did you comb your hair?
1984
01:25:12,274 --> 01:25:15,843
No. Got out of the shower
like this, I guess.
1985
01:25:15,845 --> 01:25:17,311
You took a shower?
1986
01:25:17,313 --> 01:25:19,513
I shower!
I'm allowed to shower.
1987
01:25:19,515 --> 01:25:20,614
My God.
1988
01:25:20,616 --> 01:25:23,016
I haven't taken a shower
since we got here.
1989
01:25:23,018 --> 01:25:24,718
I know. You stink.
I love it.
1990
01:25:24,720 --> 01:25:25,986
Yeah, I stink bad.
1991
01:25:25,988 --> 01:25:27,554
Yeah, you stink real bad.
1992
01:25:27,556 --> 01:25:29,256
Your breath
smells terrible.
1993
01:25:29,258 --> 01:25:32,860
[ BOTH EXHALING ]
1994
01:25:32,862 --> 01:25:34,661
Where's Lauren?
1995
01:25:38,600 --> 01:25:44,571
♪ I'm every woman,
it's all in me ♪
1996
01:25:44,573 --> 01:25:47,174
♪ I can read your thoughts
right now ♪
1997
01:25:47,176 --> 01:25:49,009
♪ every one from "a" to "z" ♪
1998
01:25:49,011 --> 01:25:53,947
♪ I'll make love to you
like you want me to ♪
1999
01:25:53,949 --> 01:25:56,517
♪ and I'll hold you tight ♪
2000
01:25:56,519 --> 01:26:00,287
♪ it's the end of the world
as we know it ♪
2001
01:26:00,289 --> 01:26:02,256
♪ it's the end... ♪
2002
01:26:02,258 --> 01:26:05,692
♪ I kissed a girl
and I liked it ♪
2003
01:26:05,694 --> 01:26:09,363
♪ the taste of her
cherry chapstick ♪
2004
01:26:09,365 --> 01:26:10,697
♪ I kissed a girl... ♪
2005
01:26:10,699 --> 01:26:12,900
wow.
Look at mom.
2006
01:26:12,902 --> 01:26:14,301
[ SINGSONG VOICE ]
Hello.
2007
01:26:14,303 --> 01:26:15,736
Dad!
Say something to her.
2008
01:26:15,738 --> 01:26:19,373
Yes, yes.
You look very, very nice.
2009
01:26:19,375 --> 01:26:21,842
Oh, well, thank you.
You showered.
2010
01:26:21,844 --> 01:26:24,478
Am I really known as
[CHUCKLING] the non-shower guy?
2011
01:26:24,480 --> 01:26:26,113
I shower all the time,
guys.
2012
01:26:26,115 --> 01:26:28,148
[ LAUGHS ]
2013
01:26:28,150 --> 01:26:29,917
NICKENS:
Ladies and gentlemen...
2014
01:26:29,919 --> 01:26:31,151
Don't listen to her, okay?
2015
01:26:31,153 --> 01:26:33,320
...it's the final night
2016
01:26:33,322 --> 01:26:37,925
of our blended family experience
here in Africa.
2017
01:26:37,927 --> 01:26:39,092
[ CROWD BOOS ]
2018
01:26:39,094 --> 01:26:41,628
Boo!
2019
01:26:41,630 --> 01:26:45,165
Our tradition is to invite
the kiddies to the pool area
2020
01:26:45,167 --> 01:26:48,602
for our famous kids-only
safari buffet
2021
01:26:48,604 --> 01:26:52,339
and ten-foot chocolate
rain forest fountain!
2022
01:26:52,341 --> 01:26:53,974
Can we go, dad?!
2023
01:26:53,976 --> 01:26:55,108
All right, go ahead.
2024
01:26:55,110 --> 01:26:56,376
Stay with your sisters,
though.
2025
01:26:56,378 --> 01:26:57,778
Oooh! My boy
here's a chocoholic.
2026
01:26:57,780 --> 01:27:00,013
You better watch out.
Or he's gonna jump in
2027
01:27:00,015 --> 01:27:03,116
and come out lookin' like
a handsome hershey bar.
2028
01:27:03,118 --> 01:27:04,818
[ EDDY LAUGHS ]
2029
01:27:04,820 --> 01:27:07,554
Did you see that?
I made him smile.
2030
01:27:07,556 --> 01:27:10,791
He tried not to,
but he couldn't help himself.
2031
01:27:10,793 --> 01:27:13,694
We're gonna be
a great family.
2032
01:27:13,696 --> 01:27:15,762
Yes, we are.
2033
01:27:15,764 --> 01:27:17,364
Love you.
2034
01:27:17,366 --> 01:27:21,835
All of the little ones
have gone.
2035
01:27:21,837 --> 01:27:24,905
Tonight
the dining room is...
2036
01:27:24,907 --> 01:27:27,841
[ DEEP VOICE ] Adults-only.
2037
01:27:27,843 --> 01:27:28,742
[ CROWD OOHS ]
2038
01:27:28,744 --> 01:27:30,477
Yeah, now
we're gettin' there.
2039
01:27:30,479 --> 01:27:33,947
Let's have all you blended
lovers on the dance floor.
2040
01:27:41,589 --> 01:27:44,258
[ SINGERS HARMONIZING ]
2041
01:27:44,260 --> 01:27:52,260
♪ Love is a many blended thing ♪
2042
01:27:53,969 --> 01:27:57,204
♪ it's the April rose ♪
2043
01:27:57,206 --> 01:27:59,373
♪ that only grows... ♪
2044
01:27:59,375 --> 01:28:01,808
it's crazy, huh?
The song.
2045
01:28:01,810 --> 01:28:06,413
He took the word "splendid"
and replaced it with "blended."
2046
01:28:06,415 --> 01:28:08,181
So clever. It rhymes!
2047
01:28:08,183 --> 01:28:10,550
But the real word is
"splendored."
2048
01:28:10,552 --> 01:28:12,919
So wouldn't it be
"blendored"?
2049
01:28:12,921 --> 01:28:14,488
What's this now?
2050
01:28:14,490 --> 01:28:16,456
[ CHUCKLES ] I'm just rambling.
I'm sorry. What...?
2051
01:28:16,458 --> 01:28:19,259
[ LAUGHS ]
Are you ready,
Mr. chiapetolis?
2052
01:28:19,261 --> 01:28:20,594
"Chiapetolis"?
2053
01:28:20,596 --> 01:28:21,795
All right. That was...
he finally got it.
2054
01:28:21,797 --> 01:28:23,630
[ LAUGHS ]
Ready for what?
2055
01:28:23,632 --> 01:28:26,900
You scheduled
a star-gazing experience.
2056
01:28:26,902 --> 01:28:31,605
So... Mrs. Chiapetolis, would
you like to come join me?
2057
01:28:31,607 --> 01:28:34,408
Oh. Yeah.
All right.
2058
01:28:36,577 --> 01:28:44,151
♪ Once high
on a windy hill ♪
2059
01:28:44,153 --> 01:28:46,720
♪ or two hills, that's good ♪
2060
01:28:46,722 --> 01:28:49,256
♪ on a morning mist ♪
2061
01:28:49,258 --> 01:28:51,124
♪ two lovers kiss ♪
2062
01:28:51,126 --> 01:28:52,392
[ LAUGHING ]
2063
01:28:52,394 --> 01:28:53,927
Just a little bit farther.
2064
01:28:53,929 --> 01:28:55,896
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
2065
01:28:55,898 --> 01:28:57,164
[ CHUCKLES ]
2066
01:28:57,166 --> 01:29:01,335
Here we are.
Dinner for two.
2067
01:29:01,337 --> 01:29:03,003
Oh, yeah.
2068
01:29:03,005 --> 01:29:04,638
Wow.
It's good.
2069
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:07,407
I gotta give it up
to dick.
2070
01:29:07,409 --> 01:29:10,711
He's probably the most
romantic guy on the planet.
2071
01:29:10,713 --> 01:29:12,212
Yeah, he's got the moves.
No doubt about it.
2072
01:29:12,214 --> 01:29:13,647
[ GASPS ]
2073
01:29:13,649 --> 01:29:16,917
I bet this is where he was
gonna ask Jen to marry him.
2074
01:29:16,919 --> 01:29:18,352
Maybe.
2075
01:29:18,354 --> 01:29:21,188
We were able to get everything
you asked for this morning,
2076
01:29:21,190 --> 01:29:23,957
except the sticks of cheese
in the shape of a heart.
2077
01:29:23,959 --> 01:29:25,225
Shh, shh!
2078
01:29:25,227 --> 01:29:28,061
Cheese sticks?
2079
01:29:28,063 --> 01:29:30,130
Did you set this up?
2080
01:29:30,132 --> 01:29:31,631
I wanted a do-over.
2081
01:29:31,633 --> 01:29:33,600
For that
first date fiasco.
2082
01:29:33,602 --> 01:29:35,235
I'm better than that.
2083
01:29:35,237 --> 01:29:41,375
Izithandane ziyafuna ukuba munye
mfana ngomoya nagemiza.
2084
01:29:41,377 --> 01:29:45,512
WHICH MEANS:
"Lovers long for the moment
2085
01:29:45,514 --> 01:29:47,381
their souls may blend
in a whisper."
2086
01:29:47,383 --> 01:29:48,648
Mm.
2087
01:29:48,650 --> 01:29:52,119
May this be your moment.
2088
01:29:52,121 --> 01:29:54,354
Did you eat pork chops
2089
01:29:54,356 --> 01:29:57,624
with... Tuna fish
today at lunch?
2090
01:29:57,626 --> 01:30:00,227
Yes, I did.
I can tell.
2091
01:30:00,229 --> 01:30:01,428
Apologies.
2092
01:30:01,430 --> 01:30:03,397
I will brush my teeth
presently,
2093
01:30:03,399 --> 01:30:04,431
Mr. lollipopolis.
2094
01:30:04,433 --> 01:30:06,199
I'd brush 'em twice.
2095
01:30:06,201 --> 01:30:07,567
And did you really [LAUGHING]
call me "lollipopolis"?
2096
01:30:07,569 --> 01:30:08,802
[ LAUGHTER ]
2097
01:30:08,804 --> 01:30:11,938
It's theodopolis.
Just for the record.
2098
01:30:11,940 --> 01:30:15,776
I know. I just like to have fun.
Jim Friedman.
2099
01:30:15,778 --> 01:30:16,610
Wha...?
2100
01:30:16,612 --> 01:30:18,478
Whoa!
What?!
2101
01:30:18,480 --> 01:30:19,913
That was good.
2102
01:30:19,915 --> 01:30:24,918
Thank you, mfana.
2103
01:30:24,920 --> 01:30:28,955
NICKENS:
♪ ...Be my endless love ♪
2104
01:30:28,957 --> 01:30:30,757
how 'bout thathoo
showin' up everywhere?
2105
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:32,993
They were in my shower
this mornin'.
2106
01:30:32,995 --> 01:30:35,028
I had a very nice time
with them too.
2107
01:30:37,331 --> 01:30:40,500
There she is.
Oh, thank you so much.
2108
01:30:40,502 --> 01:30:41,568
Hey, bubbles.
2109
01:30:41,570 --> 01:30:43,737
Nice wiggle,
but you grew a tail.
2110
01:30:43,739 --> 01:30:45,739
Here's lookin' at you.
Uh-huh.
2111
01:30:45,741 --> 01:30:47,441
No, really. Looking at you,
2112
01:30:47,443 --> 01:30:50,644
'cause you're actually
looking at me this time.
2113
01:30:51,946 --> 01:30:57,684
You... Have the most
beautiful...
2114
01:31:00,021 --> 01:31:01,254
...kids.
2115
01:31:01,256 --> 01:31:02,689
Oh, thank you.
2116
01:31:02,691 --> 01:31:05,358
Sure.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
2117
01:31:05,360 --> 01:31:08,328
You're a great mom, too.
2118
01:31:08,330 --> 01:31:11,665
You're a pretty good mom
yourself.
2119
01:31:11,667 --> 01:31:13,500
I'll take that.
2120
01:31:13,502 --> 01:31:17,404
Tyler has a playoff game
on Saturday...
2121
01:31:17,406 --> 01:31:19,506
[ INHALES ]
Yeah?
2122
01:31:19,508 --> 01:31:21,641
...and I think that...
2123
01:31:21,643 --> 01:31:23,844
For the very first time,
2124
01:31:23,846 --> 01:31:27,113
he won't actually be
completely dreading it,
2125
01:31:27,115 --> 01:31:28,648
thanks to you.
2126
01:31:28,650 --> 01:31:31,017
Tell your, uh... his father,
the more he works with him,
2127
01:31:31,019 --> 01:31:32,886
the more he's gonna get
confident,
2128
01:31:32,888 --> 01:31:35,355
the more he's gonna belt the
ball anytime he gets up there.
2129
01:31:35,357 --> 01:31:36,756
Yeah, well, his dad's
2130
01:31:36,758 --> 01:31:39,726
not really into working
with him, you know,
2131
01:31:39,728 --> 01:31:42,162
'cause to do that,
he'd have to show up,
2132
01:31:42,164 --> 01:31:43,263
which he's just...
2133
01:31:43,265 --> 01:31:44,631
[ SIGHS ]
Not good at.
2134
01:31:44,633 --> 01:31:46,933
You gotta show up
for your kids.
2135
01:31:46,935 --> 01:31:50,637
It should be boring how...
Reliable a parent is.
2136
01:31:50,639 --> 01:31:54,007
I... it's funny to me that
some people don't get that.
2137
01:31:54,009 --> 01:31:55,108
You do!
2138
01:31:55,110 --> 01:31:58,111
I mean, your kid
needs to come first
2139
01:31:58,113 --> 01:31:59,746
100% of the time.
2140
01:31:59,748 --> 01:32:01,581
Absolutely. 99%.
2141
01:32:01,583 --> 01:32:03,116
1% of the time,
2142
01:32:03,118 --> 01:32:05,886
I think we are allowed
to get what we want.
2143
01:32:05,888 --> 01:32:08,088
Ah, God.
2144
01:32:08,090 --> 01:32:11,725
I forgot what it was like
to want something.
2145
01:32:11,727 --> 01:32:16,796
I vaguely remember
it... Feels good.
2146
01:32:27,909 --> 01:32:32,612
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
2147
01:32:32,614 --> 01:32:34,347
I'm sorry.
2148
01:32:34,349 --> 01:32:37,317
I really...
I'm... I'm...
2149
01:32:37,319 --> 01:32:38,752
it's not you.
2150
01:32:38,754 --> 01:32:41,922
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
2151
01:32:41,924 --> 01:32:44,491
I thought I could do this.
I just...
2152
01:32:44,493 --> 01:32:46,226
[ "CARELESS WHISPER" PLAYS ]
2153
01:32:48,696 --> 01:32:51,565
Sorry about them too.
2154
01:32:54,168 --> 01:32:55,902
They're still awesome.
2155
01:33:01,776 --> 01:33:05,211
Sorry I did that to ya.
2156
01:33:06,781 --> 01:33:10,550
He didn't kiss you?
2157
01:33:10,552 --> 01:33:11,952
He's an idiot.
2158
01:33:11,954 --> 01:33:13,653
Although,
you have to admit.
2159
01:33:13,655 --> 01:33:16,022
The monkeys playing
the violins and stuff?
2160
01:33:16,024 --> 01:33:17,991
[ CHUCKLING ]
That is hilarious.
2161
01:33:17,993 --> 01:33:20,794
I can't believe that we both
found these great guys
2162
01:33:20,796 --> 01:33:22,862
and we're not gonna end up
with them.
2163
01:33:22,864 --> 01:33:25,865
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
2164
01:33:25,867 --> 01:33:27,867
Are you gonna get that?
2165
01:33:31,839 --> 01:33:34,708
Hi. It's not a good time
right now.
2166
01:33:34,710 --> 01:33:36,142
[ CHUCKLES ]
Yeah.
2167
01:33:36,144 --> 01:33:38,812
I "l" word you so hard.
And you know what?
2168
01:33:38,814 --> 01:33:40,847
I am gonna make
"l" word to you
2169
01:33:40,849 --> 01:33:42,582
for at least
an hour and a half.
2170
01:33:42,584 --> 01:33:43,783
[ GIGGLES ]
2171
01:33:43,785 --> 01:33:46,586
[ CHUCKLING ] Okay.
2172
01:33:46,588 --> 01:33:47,754
Hmm.
2173
01:33:47,756 --> 01:33:50,790
That was my mom.
2174
01:33:50,792 --> 01:33:52,392
And she's doing good.
2175
01:33:53,527 --> 01:33:54,728
[ SIGHS ]
All right.
2176
01:33:54,730 --> 01:33:56,496
I'm giving dick
another chance.
2177
01:33:56,498 --> 01:33:59,032
To do what?
Get rid of his kids?
2178
01:33:59,034 --> 01:34:02,002
I'm gonna meet
his children.
2179
01:34:02,004 --> 01:34:02,869
[ SCOFFS ]
2180
01:34:02,871 --> 01:34:04,771
You should try saying that
2181
01:34:04,773 --> 01:34:07,574
without contorting
your face so much.
2182
01:34:07,576 --> 01:34:10,910
I'm gonna meet
his children.
2183
01:34:10,912 --> 01:34:13,313
[ CHUCKLES ]
Better.
2184
01:34:13,315 --> 01:34:15,548
I'm sorry about Jim.
2185
01:34:15,550 --> 01:34:18,184
Me too.
2186
01:34:27,294 --> 01:34:29,729
[ SIGHS ]
2187
01:34:42,043 --> 01:34:44,611
Why didn't you
kiss her, man?
2188
01:34:44,613 --> 01:34:47,781
I couldn't.
2189
01:34:47,783 --> 01:34:50,216
I just...
2190
01:34:50,218 --> 01:34:54,654
I was afraid it wasn't
the right thing to do.
2191
01:34:54,656 --> 01:34:57,157
What did Africa do
to you?
2192
01:34:57,159 --> 01:35:00,060
[ CRYING ]
2193
01:35:01,762 --> 01:35:03,063
LOU: Ow!
2194
01:35:03,065 --> 01:35:04,330
JIM: That doesn't hurt.
Stop.
Ow!
2195
01:35:04,332 --> 01:35:07,701
I'm trying my best.
Just sit still.
2196
01:35:07,703 --> 01:35:09,002
Does it look pretty?
2197
01:35:09,004 --> 01:35:11,471
It looks fantastic.
Yeah.
Yay.
2198
01:35:11,473 --> 01:35:12,706
[ HILARY LAUGHING ]
2199
01:35:12,708 --> 01:35:14,774
No.
2200
01:35:14,776 --> 01:35:16,609
You look nice.
2201
01:35:16,611 --> 01:35:18,244
Oh, thanks.
2202
01:35:18,246 --> 01:35:19,279
Where you off to?
2203
01:35:19,281 --> 01:35:20,980
Oh, I'm goin' on a date
with Jake.
2204
01:35:20,982 --> 01:35:22,215
How can you go out
with Jake?
2205
01:35:22,217 --> 01:35:23,283
He lives in Vancouver.
2206
01:35:23,285 --> 01:35:25,585
Hi, Mr. Friedman.
2207
01:35:25,587 --> 01:35:26,820
Yay there, skeletor.
2208
01:35:26,822 --> 01:35:28,888
Listen, make sure
plenty of beef.
2209
01:35:28,890 --> 01:35:31,224
Seriously.
She's got tryouts this week.
2210
01:35:31,226 --> 01:35:33,393
Lamb chops,pork chops, tri-tips.
2211
01:35:33,395 --> 01:35:34,494
You got it.
2212
01:35:34,496 --> 01:35:35,729
That's the way.
2213
01:35:35,731 --> 01:35:38,298
Garbage twisties?
2214
01:35:38,300 --> 01:35:39,332
I-I don't know how to...
2215
01:35:39,334 --> 01:35:41,401
you're awful.
Just fix it, then.
2216
01:35:41,403 --> 01:35:43,837
So, when are we gonna
see Lauren again?
2217
01:35:43,839 --> 01:35:46,039
Something happened
between you guys.
2218
01:35:46,041 --> 01:35:47,407
No.
What are you, crazy?
2219
01:35:47,409 --> 01:35:48,808
Nothin' happened.
2220
01:35:48,810 --> 01:35:51,010
Dad, come on.
I saw the way you looked at her,
2221
01:35:51,012 --> 01:35:52,545
and I saw the way
she looked at you.
2222
01:35:52,547 --> 01:35:53,913
It's undeniable.
2223
01:35:53,915 --> 01:35:55,915
You guys are infatuatedwith each other.
2224
01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:57,417
Jake, butt out.
2225
01:35:57,419 --> 01:35:58,718
Sorry, sir.
2226
01:35:58,720 --> 01:36:00,353
Don't you guys have
anything better to do
2227
01:36:00,355 --> 01:36:02,222
than look at people
looking at each other?
2228
01:36:02,224 --> 01:36:04,691
Besides, wha-what am
I supposed to do?
2229
01:36:04,693 --> 01:36:08,595
Change our whole lives just
because I'm in love with her?
2230
01:36:08,597 --> 01:36:11,297
Yes!
2231
01:36:13,868 --> 01:36:15,568
Wow.
[ GINGER SQUEALS ]
2232
01:36:15,570 --> 01:36:16,903
So romantic!
2233
01:36:16,905 --> 01:36:19,773
Lovin' it!Takin' a risk.
2234
01:36:19,775 --> 01:36:21,908
Go get her, baby!
2235
01:36:25,980 --> 01:36:28,648
I know I confused you.
2236
01:36:28,650 --> 01:36:31,117
I just...
I had to make sure.
2237
01:36:31,119 --> 01:36:33,887
For my wife
and for my kids.
2238
01:36:33,889 --> 01:36:36,456
And for your kids.
And for you. And...
2239
01:36:36,458 --> 01:36:39,559
Just so we have no lies.
2240
01:36:39,561 --> 01:36:42,929
It was me who drank your beer
at Hooters.
2241
01:36:42,931 --> 01:36:44,564
I dunno why I did that.
2242
01:36:44,566 --> 01:36:48,935
I get free beers there,
so it was just panic then.
2243
01:36:58,412 --> 01:37:00,146
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
2244
01:37:05,786 --> 01:37:07,554
Yeah?
2245
01:37:07,556 --> 01:37:10,790
This is 323, right?
2246
01:37:10,792 --> 01:37:12,525
Yeah.
2247
01:37:12,527 --> 01:37:14,928
I was lookin' for l-Lauren.
2248
01:37:14,930 --> 01:37:16,863
You and me both.
2249
01:37:16,865 --> 01:37:18,765
TYLER: Jim!
2250
01:37:18,767 --> 01:37:21,267
Big time!
Look at you!
2251
01:37:21,269 --> 01:37:24,237
Mom's not home.
This is my dad.
2252
01:37:24,239 --> 01:37:25,939
Mark.
2253
01:37:25,941 --> 01:37:27,507
Yeah. Who are you?
2254
01:37:27,509 --> 01:37:29,409
Jim!
The cool guy from the safari.
2255
01:37:29,411 --> 01:37:32,378
Do you wanna "bowl" me
a few pitches?
2256
01:37:32,380 --> 01:37:35,882
Uh... I'm sure your father
wants to do that with ya.
2257
01:37:35,884 --> 01:37:37,917
Mm. No, he doesn't.
2258
01:37:37,919 --> 01:37:40,720
No, no, no, no.
Go get your bat, big time.
2259
01:37:40,722 --> 01:37:42,055
Hey! We can all play!
2260
01:37:42,057 --> 01:37:44,958
I'll get Brendan's glove.
He never uses it.
2261
01:37:44,960 --> 01:37:48,294
Boy, he hasn't shut up
about that Africa trip.
2262
01:37:48,296 --> 01:37:51,264
Your kids are... Incredible.
2263
01:37:51,266 --> 01:37:53,666
Yeah.
That's why Lauren and I
2264
01:37:53,668 --> 01:37:57,704
are, you know, trying to make
things work again.
2265
01:37:57,706 --> 01:37:59,105
For them.
2266
01:37:59,107 --> 01:38:02,642
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
2267
01:38:02,644 --> 01:38:03,977
I'll tell her
you came by.
2268
01:38:03,979 --> 01:38:08,481
And, uh...
I'll put these in the bedroom...
2269
01:38:08,483 --> 01:38:11,217
Next to where we make love.
2270
01:38:13,220 --> 01:38:15,922
Okay.
2271
01:38:15,924 --> 01:38:19,659
Tell, uh, Tyler
I said goodbye.
2272
01:38:22,997 --> 01:38:25,131
Where's Jim goin'?
2273
01:38:25,133 --> 01:38:27,767
He had stuff to do,
I guess.
2274
01:38:27,769 --> 01:38:31,271
Can you and me play,
then?
2275
01:38:31,273 --> 01:38:32,405
Yeah, of co...
2276
01:38:32,407 --> 01:38:35,074
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
Oooh! Saved by the bell.
2277
01:38:35,076 --> 01:38:37,310
Hey, what's up?
2278
01:38:37,312 --> 01:38:40,280
You busy?
2279
01:38:42,483 --> 01:38:45,151
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
2280
01:39:09,476 --> 01:39:10,643
Hi.
2281
01:39:10,645 --> 01:39:12,178
Oh! Hi.
2282
01:39:12,180 --> 01:39:15,915
[ CHUCKLING ] Is there a gq
photo shoot going on here?
2283
01:39:15,917 --> 01:39:18,117
No... oh, no.
I'm just, uh...
2284
01:39:18,119 --> 01:39:19,385
I'm just chillin'.
2285
01:39:19,387 --> 01:39:21,421
I'm sorry
that took so long.
2286
01:39:21,423 --> 01:39:24,090
Thank you for watching
after the boys.
2287
01:39:24,092 --> 01:39:25,658
I'm done now
and I'm guessing
2288
01:39:25,660 --> 01:39:27,894
you have somewhere
you gotta go, so...
2289
01:39:27,896 --> 01:39:29,696
How do you always
look so great?
2290
01:39:29,698 --> 01:39:31,164
Yeah?
2291
01:39:31,166 --> 01:39:33,766
It's my haven't-washed-my-hair
in-three-days look.
2292
01:39:33,768 --> 01:39:35,168
Thanks for noticing.
2293
01:39:35,170 --> 01:39:37,103
[ CHUCKLES ]
You're so funny.
2294
01:39:38,472 --> 01:39:41,307
It's hard for me to imagine you
with someone else.
2295
01:39:41,309 --> 01:39:43,576
Really?! It wasn't hard for you
to imagine yourself
2296
01:39:43,578 --> 01:39:45,545
with someone else
when you cheated on me.
2297
01:39:45,547 --> 01:39:48,114
No matter what I say, you
always bring it back to that.
2298
01:39:48,116 --> 01:39:50,016
I could say, "hey,
look at that house."
2299
01:39:50,018 --> 01:39:51,751
And you'd say,
"oh, we lived in a house
2300
01:39:51,753 --> 01:39:53,019
when you cheated on me."
2301
01:39:53,021 --> 01:39:54,821
Or I could say,
"pass that pickle."
2302
01:39:54,823 --> 01:39:56,155
And you could say...
2303
01:39:56,157 --> 01:39:57,824
something about a pickle
and you cheating on me.
2304
01:39:57,826 --> 01:39:59,559
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
2305
01:39:59,561 --> 01:40:02,495
It's fun to laugh with you
again, Lauren.
2306
01:40:02,497 --> 01:40:04,998
We used to do that
all the time.
2307
01:40:05,000 --> 01:40:06,933
You brought flowers?
2308
01:40:06,935 --> 01:40:10,036
Yeah.
2309
01:40:11,805 --> 01:40:13,806
Why'd you bring flowers?
2310
01:40:13,808 --> 01:40:16,609
Because you deserve
flowers.
2311
01:40:18,345 --> 01:40:21,247
Lauren, when you went away
to Africa,
2312
01:40:21,249 --> 01:40:23,116
I did a lot of thinking.
2313
01:40:23,118 --> 01:40:25,418
You and I, we have so much
history together.
2314
01:40:25,420 --> 01:40:26,719
Two boys.
2315
01:40:26,721 --> 01:40:28,488
One receptionist.
2316
01:40:28,490 --> 01:40:31,491
I... look,
I made a mistake! That's...
2317
01:40:31,493 --> 01:40:34,794
you made at least four mistakes
that I know of.
2318
01:40:34,796 --> 01:40:36,362
Made. Past tense.
2319
01:40:36,364 --> 01:40:39,165
I-I was a jerk.
Lauren...
2320
01:40:39,167 --> 01:40:41,234
You were the best thing
in my life.
2321
01:40:41,236 --> 01:40:42,602
You and the boys.
2322
01:40:42,604 --> 01:40:47,407
And boys need
their fathers.
2323
01:40:47,409 --> 01:40:49,242
They do.
2324
01:40:49,244 --> 01:40:51,511
I know
that I'm a good father.
2325
01:40:51,513 --> 01:40:54,047
I just need
to prove it to them.
2326
01:40:54,049 --> 01:40:56,449
Well, you can!
It's not too late.
2327
01:40:56,451 --> 01:41:00,620
Is it too late...
For this?
2328
01:41:01,622 --> 01:41:04,357
[ CHUCKLING ]
What... Are you doing?!
2329
01:41:04,359 --> 01:41:06,092
I'm comin' home, baby.
2330
01:41:06,094 --> 01:41:08,961
Oh! G... mark!
Get off of me!
2331
01:41:08,963 --> 01:41:10,930
You don't live here
anymore!
2332
01:41:10,932 --> 01:41:13,533
Is there someone else?
2333
01:41:13,535 --> 01:41:14,734
[ CHUCKLES ]
2334
01:41:14,736 --> 01:41:17,703
No. And that's none
of your business anyway.
2335
01:41:17,705 --> 01:41:21,274
You're interested
in being a good father?
2336
01:41:21,276 --> 01:41:24,077
Tyler has a game
on Saturday. Be there.
2337
01:41:44,531 --> 01:41:45,531
Dad?
2338
01:41:45,533 --> 01:41:48,935
I didn't mean to wake you.
Sorry.
2339
01:41:48,937 --> 01:41:52,638
I was talking to mom
before bed.
2340
01:41:52,640 --> 01:41:54,674
Mm-hmm.
2341
01:41:54,676 --> 01:42:00,113
And she says she has
a lot of stuff to do.
2342
01:42:00,115 --> 01:42:02,648
She does?
2343
01:42:02,650 --> 01:42:04,117
Y-yeah.
2344
01:42:04,119 --> 01:42:09,222
So she might not be able
to hang around as much.
2345
01:42:09,224 --> 01:42:11,891
[ SIGHS ]
2346
01:42:11,893 --> 01:42:13,326
Okay.
2347
01:42:13,328 --> 01:42:17,830
She also said you need to
increase my allowance to $5.
2348
01:42:17,832 --> 01:42:21,534
She's very generous.
2349
01:42:24,338 --> 01:42:27,740
[ VOICE BREAKING ]
I just...
2350
01:42:27,742 --> 01:42:32,378
[ SOBS ] I don't want her
to disappear.
2351
01:42:32,380 --> 01:42:36,716
Sweetheart, she's never
gonna disappear.
2352
01:42:36,718 --> 01:42:37,950
Never ever.
2353
01:42:37,952 --> 01:42:39,685
You can let her go.
2354
01:42:39,687 --> 01:42:42,955
She will always
be right here.
2355
01:42:42,957 --> 01:42:44,757
And I will always be
here.
2356
01:42:44,759 --> 01:42:46,993
I promise you.
2357
01:42:46,995 --> 01:42:48,761
[ SOBS ]
2358
01:42:57,504 --> 01:43:03,209
By the way,
mom loved the Africa trip.
2359
01:43:03,211 --> 01:43:06,245
So did I.
2360
01:43:08,348 --> 01:43:10,149
I miss her.
2361
01:43:10,151 --> 01:43:13,085
Your mother
was the greatest.
2362
01:43:13,087 --> 01:43:15,755
I mean Lauren.
2363
01:43:18,125 --> 01:43:20,426
Me too.
2364
01:43:20,428 --> 01:43:24,697
We don't have to let go
of her, too, do we?
2365
01:43:24,699 --> 01:43:27,800
Come here.
2366
01:43:37,611 --> 01:43:40,580
Brendan, don't forget that
I'm picking you up for scouts,
2367
01:43:40,582 --> 01:43:42,148
so don't take the bus home.
2368
01:43:42,150 --> 01:43:43,716
[ CHILDREN SNICKER ]
2369
01:43:43,718 --> 01:43:45,818
Thanks for telling everyone
I'm still in scouts, mom.
2370
01:43:45,820 --> 01:43:48,221
You're a good boy.
Be proud of who you are.
2371
01:44:11,111 --> 01:44:13,479
Say one word
and you're dead.
2372
01:44:13,481 --> 01:44:16,048
You're driving a minivan.
2373
01:44:16,050 --> 01:44:17,650
It's dick's.
2374
01:44:17,652 --> 01:44:21,087
I'm off to buy toilet paper
for team theodopolis.
2375
01:44:21,089 --> 01:44:22,755
When the team
needs toilet paper,
2376
01:44:22,757 --> 01:44:24,657
the co-captain goes
and gets it.
2377
01:44:24,659 --> 01:44:27,326
And believe me, those kids
never stop crapping.
2378
01:44:27,328 --> 01:44:29,996
Kids need to crap.
2379
01:44:29,998 --> 01:44:31,364
You need anything from...
2380
01:44:31,366 --> 01:44:33,266
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
...Walmart?
2381
01:44:33,268 --> 01:44:35,301
I'm good.
2382
01:44:35,303 --> 01:44:37,937
See ya
at the pta meeting.
2383
01:44:37,939 --> 01:44:39,538
Okay, foxy.
2384
01:44:44,311 --> 01:44:46,712
[ CROWD CHEERING ]
2385
01:44:49,449 --> 01:44:50,983
MAN: Yeah.
You've got this one.
2386
01:44:53,387 --> 01:44:56,222
MAN #2: Yeah! Base on!
Please stop that.
2387
01:44:56,224 --> 01:44:58,324
Uh, this is so good,
honey. This...
2388
01:44:58,326 --> 01:45:00,426
that's okay. Great.
This is family.
2389
01:45:00,428 --> 01:45:01,560
This is fun for me.
2390
01:45:01,562 --> 01:45:03,796
WOMAN:
All right, all right!
2391
01:45:03,798 --> 01:45:06,198
MAN #3:
Way to make contact.
2392
01:45:06,200 --> 01:45:08,401
Way to go, dad.
2393
01:45:08,403 --> 01:45:09,669
GIRL: One out to go,
2394
01:45:09,671 --> 01:45:10,936
but standard fence
has a rally going.
2395
01:45:10,938 --> 01:45:12,672
MAN #4: Standard fence,
let's do it!
2396
01:45:12,674 --> 01:45:17,543
Now batting, number 23,
Tyler Reynolds.
2397
01:45:17,545 --> 01:45:20,079
[ PLAYS "BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH" ]
2398
01:45:20,081 --> 01:45:21,347
Hey, that's not nice!
2399
01:45:21,349 --> 01:45:23,349
Aw, shut up.
That kid's awful.
2400
01:45:23,351 --> 01:45:24,383
Go, Tyler!
2401
01:45:24,385 --> 01:45:25,918
MAN: Go, Tyler!
2402
01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:27,753
Tracy.
2403
01:45:27,755 --> 01:45:29,955
What's your head
doing here?
2404
01:45:32,426 --> 01:45:33,659
MAN: Easy out.
2405
01:45:33,661 --> 01:45:36,095
MAN #2: New batter!
MAN #3: Easy!
2406
01:45:37,130 --> 01:45:39,865
You got him, Kevin.
2407
01:45:50,143 --> 01:45:52,178
Strike one!
2408
01:45:52,180 --> 01:45:54,080
I'm so sorry
mark didn't show up.
2409
01:45:54,082 --> 01:45:55,848
LAUREN: I mean, he just
doesn't get it, you know?
2410
01:45:55,850 --> 01:45:59,018
Your kids have to come first
100% of the time.
2411
01:45:59,020 --> 01:46:02,088
Well, like 99%.
You get 1% for yourself.
2412
01:46:02,090 --> 01:46:04,156
That's great news.
2413
01:46:04,158 --> 01:46:08,027
Well, no matter what, you have
to show up for your kids.
2414
01:46:08,029 --> 01:46:10,363
Like him.
2415
01:46:10,365 --> 01:46:12,031
Hey, hey!
2416
01:46:12,033 --> 01:46:14,333
All right, big time!
Come on, Tyler!
Come on, Tyler!
2417
01:46:14,335 --> 01:46:15,634
Lookin' good out there!
2418
01:46:15,636 --> 01:46:17,370
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
2419
01:46:17,372 --> 01:46:20,773
Get that elbow up!
Elbow up!
2420
01:46:20,775 --> 01:46:22,575
Incredible.
2421
01:46:22,577 --> 01:46:26,412
ESPN: Yeah!
Eye on the ball!
2422
01:46:28,148 --> 01:46:29,648
Come on, Tyler.
2423
01:46:31,351 --> 01:46:33,152
Strike two!
2424
01:46:33,154 --> 01:46:34,754
All right, all right!
2425
01:46:36,857 --> 01:46:40,292
Nice cut, nice cut.
Slow it down a little bit.
2426
01:46:40,294 --> 01:46:43,396
Bend those knees.
Balance, okay?
2427
01:46:43,398 --> 01:46:45,865
Take care of this.
That's it.
2428
01:46:45,867 --> 01:46:48,134
Elbow up.
Higher, higher.
2429
01:46:48,136 --> 01:46:50,903
Now,
remember the stink eye.
2430
01:46:50,905 --> 01:46:53,639
[ GROWLS ]
2431
01:46:53,641 --> 01:46:56,142
The mustache is rattled.
2432
01:46:56,144 --> 01:46:57,943
Come on, Tyler, let's go!
Come on, Tyler!
2433
01:46:57,945 --> 01:46:59,678
Take 'em deep.
2434
01:47:13,026 --> 01:47:14,560
[ YELPS ]
2435
01:47:17,431 --> 01:47:18,664
You hit it!
2436
01:47:18,666 --> 01:47:20,266
Run, Tyler, run!
2437
01:47:20,268 --> 01:47:22,401
[ SCREAMS ]
2438
01:47:22,403 --> 01:47:24,804
[ CROWD CHEERS ]
2439
01:47:28,642 --> 01:47:31,177
Keep goin', brother!
Go!
2440
01:47:31,179 --> 01:47:34,013
Whoo!
Go!
2441
01:47:34,015 --> 01:47:36,482
Don't hesitate.
Come, come!
2442
01:47:37,918 --> 01:47:41,854
Come to me, big time!
Go!
2443
01:47:41,856 --> 01:47:43,689
Run to me!
2444
01:47:43,691 --> 01:47:48,060
Keep it goin', Tyler!
We're goin' home, baby!
2445
01:47:48,062 --> 01:47:50,429
We're goin' home!
2446
01:47:50,431 --> 01:47:51,831
[ GRUNTS ]
2447
01:47:51,833 --> 01:47:52,833
Safe!
2448
01:47:52,834 --> 01:47:55,067
[ CHUCKLING ] Yeah!
Yes!
2449
01:47:56,903 --> 01:47:59,738
Do you believe in miracles?!
2450
01:48:02,275 --> 01:48:04,176
Yeah! Whoo!
2451
01:48:04,178 --> 01:48:07,880
Yeah!
That's my brother!
2452
01:48:10,150 --> 01:48:11,951
Thank you.
2453
01:48:11,953 --> 01:48:14,587
All you in there,
big time.
2454
01:48:14,589 --> 01:48:17,022
Oh, my God!
2455
01:48:19,526 --> 01:48:22,194
What are you doing?!
2456
01:48:22,196 --> 01:48:24,196
I love you!
2457
01:48:24,198 --> 01:48:25,397
That was amazing.
2458
01:48:25,399 --> 01:48:27,733
I'm so sorry
to show up like this.
2459
01:48:27,735 --> 01:48:30,102
I-I was at your house
the other day
2460
01:48:30,104 --> 01:48:31,537
and I saw your ex-husband
blow off Tyler
2461
01:48:31,539 --> 01:48:33,205
when he wanted to practice
2462
01:48:33,207 --> 01:48:35,174
and I know you guys are trying
to work it out, but it just...
2463
01:48:35,176 --> 01:48:36,642
it just broke my heart.
2464
01:48:36,644 --> 01:48:40,079
We're not working it out.
That's never gonna happen.
2465
01:48:40,081 --> 01:48:41,447
Really?
2466
01:48:41,449 --> 01:48:45,484
What were you doing
at my house?
2467
01:48:45,486 --> 01:48:49,288
I came by
to tell you that...
2468
01:48:49,290 --> 01:48:52,625
I think it's okay now.
2469
01:48:52,627 --> 01:48:55,060
[ CHUCKLES ]
Okay for what?
2470
01:48:55,062 --> 01:48:58,764
Okay to have one
of those rare, rare moments
2471
01:48:58,766 --> 01:49:00,766
where we get
what we want.
2472
01:49:00,768 --> 01:49:05,004
Oh. Well,
what do we want?
2473
01:49:05,006 --> 01:49:07,840
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
You know what we want.
2474
01:49:07,842 --> 01:49:10,042
Yeah.
2475
01:49:10,044 --> 01:49:12,144
I think the kids
want it, too.
2476
01:49:12,146 --> 01:49:16,115
Not as much as I do there,
schlumpy shoulders.
2477
01:49:16,117 --> 01:49:17,516
[ LAUGHS ]
2478
01:49:17,518 --> 01:49:21,754
Wait.
I can't do this.
2479
01:49:21,756 --> 01:49:23,255
You're kiddin' me.
2480
01:49:23,257 --> 01:49:24,657
[ CHUCKLES ] Totally.
2481
01:49:24,659 --> 01:49:27,493
I just had to get you back
for Africa.
2482
01:49:27,495 --> 01:49:28,894
Come on.
2483
01:49:37,837 --> 01:49:42,074
[ CHUCKLES ] You know somethin'?
Your mom is hot.
2484
01:49:42,076 --> 01:49:45,477
Your dad's
pretty hot, too.
2485
01:49:45,479 --> 01:49:47,212
Not hot.
2486
01:49:47,214 --> 01:49:49,281
[ LAUGHTER ]
2487
01:49:49,283 --> 01:49:52,151
Come on,
you deserve a nice massage.
2488
01:49:52,153 --> 01:49:53,686
[ LAUGHING ] Ow!
Oh, it's good.
2489
01:49:53,688 --> 01:49:54,853
Come on, you like that,
you like that.
2490
01:49:54,855 --> 01:49:56,322
Oh, it hurts so good.
2491
01:49:56,324 --> 01:49:57,690
[ LAUGHS ]
Ah, sorry.
2492
01:50:00,493 --> 01:50:02,761
♪ They're blending ♪
♪ look, they're blending ♪
2493
01:50:02,763 --> 01:50:04,663
♪ are mending ♪
♪ hearts are mending ♪
2494
01:50:04,665 --> 01:50:06,031
♪ sad times ending ♪
2495
01:50:06,033 --> 01:50:08,834
♪ good times
spending with love ♪
2496
01:50:08,836 --> 01:50:10,903
♪ are friending ♪
♪ kids are friending ♪
2497
01:50:10,905 --> 01:50:12,404
♪ wedding ♪
♪ wedding trending ♪
2498
01:50:12,406 --> 01:50:14,807
♪ blending, friending,
blending, friending ♪
2499
01:50:14,809 --> 01:50:17,076
♪ movie ending ♪
2500
01:50:17,078 --> 01:50:19,044
yebo!
2501
01:50:19,046 --> 01:50:20,379
[ SCREAMING ]
2502
01:50:27,420 --> 01:50:29,388
Yeah! Yebo!
2503
01:50:35,328 --> 01:50:40,366
♪ I will take your side ♪
2504
01:50:40,368 --> 01:50:42,034
♪ you make me feel like ♪
2505
01:50:42,036 --> 01:50:47,339
♪ I've been waiting
my whole life ♪
2506
01:50:47,341 --> 01:50:52,578
♪ I will take your side ♪
2507
01:50:52,580 --> 01:50:54,046
♪ you make me feel like ♪
2508
01:50:54,048 --> 01:50:58,784
♪ I've been waiting
my whole life ♪
2509
01:50:58,786 --> 01:51:01,620
♪ and I could die ♪
2510
01:51:01,622 --> 01:51:04,890
♪ to find that simple kind
of love ♪
2511
01:51:04,892 --> 01:51:07,793
♪ you can't deny ♪
2512
01:51:07,795 --> 01:51:09,361
just say it.
2513
01:51:09,363 --> 01:51:11,196
♪ Been talking about it
until I killed my voice ♪
2514
01:51:11,198 --> 01:51:13,932
♪ but it didn't change
a single thing ♪
2515
01:51:13,934 --> 01:51:15,300
♪ it's that simple truth ♪
2516
01:51:15,302 --> 01:51:17,069
♪ that always means
the most to you ♪
2517
01:51:17,071 --> 01:51:18,637
♪ and you know it ♪
2518
01:51:18,639 --> 01:51:20,406
♪ so just say it ♪
2519
01:51:20,408 --> 01:51:23,208
♪ and we were spilling wine
on your best friend's bed ♪
2520
01:51:23,210 --> 01:51:26,612
♪ when you said
this was ridiculous ♪
2521
01:51:26,614 --> 01:51:28,080
♪ and you kissed me ♪
2522
01:51:28,082 --> 01:51:29,648
♪ just because
you knew it'd shut me up ♪
2523
01:51:29,650 --> 01:51:31,283
♪ all right, well, then say it ♪
2524
01:51:31,285 --> 01:51:33,018
♪ just say it ♪
2525
01:51:33,020 --> 01:51:38,123
♪ I will take your side ♪
2526
01:51:38,125 --> 01:51:39,792
♪ you make me feel like ♪
2527
01:51:39,794 --> 01:51:44,396
♪ I've been waiting
my whole life ♪
2528
01:51:44,398 --> 01:51:47,032
♪ and I could die ♪
2529
01:51:47,034 --> 01:51:49,935
♪ to find that simple kind
of love ♪
2530
01:51:49,937 --> 01:51:53,439
♪ you can't deny ♪
2531
01:51:53,441 --> 01:51:55,941
♪ and I could die ♪
2532
01:51:55,943 --> 01:51:58,977
♪ to find that simple kind
of love ♪
2533
01:51:58,979 --> 01:52:02,347
♪ you can't deny ♪
2534
01:52:02,349 --> 01:52:04,216
just say it.
2535
01:52:11,091 --> 01:52:17,196
♪ I don't love wonton soup
that comes from a can ♪
2536
01:52:17,198 --> 01:52:23,268
♪ I don't love to hear stories
about the bogeyman ♪
2537
01:52:23,270 --> 01:52:29,041
♪ I don't love the smell
of aunt lizzy's minivan ♪
2538
01:52:29,043 --> 01:52:34,046
♪ but I love you ♪
2539
01:52:35,815 --> 01:52:41,820
♪ I don't love
falling off a seesaw ♪
2540
01:52:41,822 --> 01:52:43,989
♪ I don't love
drinking chocolate milk ♪
2541
01:52:43,991 --> 01:52:47,760
♪ without a straw ♪
2542
01:52:47,762 --> 01:52:52,498
♪ I don't love when grandma
walks around in just her bra ♪
2543
01:52:52,500 --> 01:52:53,899
[ LAUGHTER ]
2544
01:52:53,901 --> 01:52:59,905
♪ But I love you ♪
2545
01:52:59,907 --> 01:53:06,211
♪ I don't love that you guys
are better than me at math ♪
2546
01:53:06,213 --> 01:53:12,317
♪ I don't love when a horse
makes a poopy on the path ♪
2547
01:53:12,319 --> 01:53:16,722
♪ I don't love when my sister
pees in the bath ♪
2548
01:53:16,724 --> 01:53:18,690
♪ sorry! ♪
2549
01:53:18,692 --> 01:53:24,596
♪ But I love you ♪
2550
01:53:24,598 --> 01:53:28,700
♪ I love it when you put
together my toys ♪
2551
01:53:28,702 --> 01:53:31,503
♪ I love it when we listen
to the backstreet boys ♪
2552
01:53:31,505 --> 01:53:35,140
♪ I love it when you let me
eat breakfast for dinner ♪
2553
01:53:35,142 --> 01:53:36,809
♪ daddy's pleasure ♪
2554
01:53:36,811 --> 01:53:38,110
♪ when I kiss your head ♪
2555
01:53:38,112 --> 01:53:39,578
♪ I love it ♪
2556
01:53:39,580 --> 01:53:41,513
♪ when I jump on your bed ♪
2557
01:53:41,515 --> 01:53:42,881
♪ I love it ♪
2558
01:53:42,883 --> 01:53:44,917
♪ when I let you skip
Hebrew school ♪
2559
01:53:44,919 --> 01:53:47,452
♪ and go to the movies
instead ♪
2560
01:53:47,454 --> 01:53:48,720
♪ I love it ♪
2561
01:53:48,722 --> 01:53:50,522
♪ when your timeout ends ♪
2562
01:53:50,524 --> 01:53:51,723
♪ I love it ♪
2563
01:53:51,725 --> 01:53:53,625
♪ when your boo-boo mends ♪
2564
01:53:53,627 --> 01:53:54,827
♪ I love it ♪
2565
01:53:54,829 --> 01:53:56,195
♪ when I rip a juicy fart
2566
01:53:56,197 --> 01:53:58,964
♪ in front of all
your mommy's friends ♪
2567
01:53:58,966 --> 01:54:00,732
I don't love it.
2568
01:54:00,734 --> 01:54:02,167
♪ We do! ♪
2569
01:54:02,169 --> 01:54:05,037
♪ When you and mommy
do dancing shows ♪
2570
01:54:05,039 --> 01:54:06,405
♪ I love it ♪
2571
01:54:06,407 --> 01:54:08,073
♪ and she lets you wear
all her clothes ♪
2572
01:54:08,075 --> 01:54:09,441
♪ I love it ♪
2573
01:54:09,443 --> 01:54:10,976
♪ when I fall asleep
on the couch ♪
2574
01:54:10,978 --> 01:54:13,645
♪ and you guys
paint all my toes ♪
2575
01:54:13,647 --> 01:54:14,980
♪ I love it ♪
2576
01:54:14,982 --> 01:54:16,615
♪ I love it ♪
♪ I love it ♪
2577
01:54:16,617 --> 01:54:18,150
♪ I love it ♪
♪ I love it ♪
2578
01:54:18,152 --> 01:54:19,484
♪ I love it ♪
♪ I love it ♪
2579
01:54:19,486 --> 01:54:21,019
♪ I love it ♪
♪ I love it ♪
2580
01:54:21,021 --> 01:54:22,387
♪ I love it ♪
♪ I love it ♪
2581
01:54:22,389 --> 01:54:24,056
♪ I love it ♪
♪ I love it ♪
2582
01:54:24,058 --> 01:54:26,625
♪ I love you ♪
♪ I love you ♪
2583
01:54:26,627 --> 01:54:29,061
♪ I love you ♪
2584
01:54:32,565 --> 01:54:34,800
♪ I love it! ♪
2585
01:54:34,802 --> 01:54:37,970
[ HOT WATER'S "WAMKELEKILE"
PLAYS ]
192367
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