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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:01,960 (GRUNTS) 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:04,560 (GRUNTS) 3 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:06,920 (BROOM SCRAPES) 4 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,320 (GRUNTS) 5 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,240 (GRUNTS) 6 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,720 - (GRUNTS) - (BROOM CONTINUES SCRAPING) 7 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,160 (GRUNTS) 8 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,640 (GRUNTS) 9 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,920 (GRUNTS) 10 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,200 Oh! F-f...fuck! 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,960 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck! 12 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,360 - Arggh, fuck! - (DOORKNOB RATTLES) 13 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:33,840 (GASPS) 14 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,800 Oh! (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 15 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,040 (ON PHONE) My grandson, he have a... 16 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,560 - (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) - ..er, accident. Si. 17 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,200 While sweeping. 18 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,240 Diego fucked a broom! 19 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,000 Urrggggghhhh! 20 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,320 (SIGHS) 21 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,360 That was, um... 22 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,520 - A woman giving birth to triplets. - (CHUCKLES) 23 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,000 So, she's already pushed out two and then she's on the third, 24 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,680 so she's like... (INHALES DEEPLY) .."Urrrrgggghhhh!" 25 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,280 That was, um... 26 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,480 - Beautiful. - Beautiful, yeah. Mmm. 27 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,640 OK, what about "ssssssss"? 28 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,120 - Do it again. - "Ssssssss." 29 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,800 "Sssssssss..." A golf ball to the teeth? 30 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,360 "I dunno, I wasss on the ssssecond 31 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,480 "and he sssssliced it into my incissssors." 32 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,600 - (CHUCKLES) - Uh, nice try, but no. 33 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,200 It's the melodious sound of a needle decompressing a punctured lung. 34 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,880 - (BLOWS) - No, it's like... 35 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:49,880 (BOTH HISS SOFTLY) 36 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,360 - Oh, yeah! - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 37 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,080 Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, OK, I got one... 38 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,640 - What the fuck? - What? Are you OK? 39 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,960 SmokinHotSiren's got 100k likes. 40 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,320 - Wild, yeah? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, OK. 41 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,920 Uh, I've got a good one. What's this? 42 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,400 - (GRUNTS) - Um... 43 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,360 Ooh. Uh, um... irritable bowel syndrome. 44 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,880 It's your cum face. 45 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,760 DALE: (ON RADIO) Car 984? 46 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,040 This is Car 984. 47 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,400 - Hey, what's this sound? - (CRUNCH) 48 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,560 - Compound fracture. - Ooh, lucky guess. 49 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,160 Alright, how about, "Urrrrrrggggghhhhh"? 50 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,400 Third triplet. How about... (SLURPS) 51 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,000 Oh. That one's easy. That's something going up a butt. 52 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,600 Yeah. So, we've got an insertion job for you. 53 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,640 Young male, possible internal lacerations. 54 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:33,000 50 bucks says I can tell you what he's put up there 55 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,040 and his excuse. 56 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,080 Don't take it, mate. She knows her rectal mishaps. 57 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,600 - Ha! - Hmm. 58 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,240 (SIREN WAILS) 59 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:47,920 DIEGO: Just...get it out! 60 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,920 My grandson, he cleaning... 61 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,360 ..and fall. Very bad. 62 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,080 It's the first time he's ever touched a broom. 63 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,440 - Sofia! - What? 64 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,880 Just taking the vacuum to a safe space. 65 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,560 Basta! 66 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:04,160 I was, er, just out, you know, doing the shopping, 67 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,040 and my grandson...he... 68 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,880 He had a nasty Quidditch accident. 69 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,440 - Sofia! What I say? - (LAUGHS) What? 70 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,000 (PHONE CHIMES) 71 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,280 Cate. 72 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,240 Oh, sorry. Yes, on silent. 73 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,600 It's... Trust me, it's OK. I-it happens all the time. 74 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,320 Cleaning's...slippery. It's no biggie. 75 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,240 - Diego, mate, how's the pain? - I just want it out. 76 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,400 Yeah, I know, but it needs to happen at the hospital. 77 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,840 Just do it now! 78 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,800 Oh, please. No-one can see him like this. 79 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,560 - I'm sure, if I can... - No, no, no, no, no! 80 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,640 You could seriously injure your grandson like that. 81 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,000 Oh. Sorry. 82 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,200 Trust me. 83 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,360 My specialty is saving people's arses 84 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,880 and...I've been where you are before. 85 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,680 The short end of the stick, so to speak. 86 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,560 Hospital's better, OK? 87 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,880 OK. 88 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,600 Alright, almost there. Just try to keep still, mate. 89 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:02,720 Fuck. It's the Morrisons. 90 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,320 Che palle. I got you, bro. 91 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,080 Oh, what?! As if you don't all have sticks up YOUR arses! 92 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,280 Sofia! Sheet! 93 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,280 I'm sure the Morrisons love a bit of butt play. There's no shame in it! 94 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,720 Ow! Don't make me laugh. 95 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:23,440 Madonna mia! The good broom! 96 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,840 - Just hurry up. - CATE: Nearly there, Diego. 97 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,760 Any, uh, plans for the weekend? 98 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,080 Have we met before? 99 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:32,040 Uh...I don't think so. 100 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,400 Yeah, you look familiar. 101 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,760 - Ladies night at the Slip Inn. - No. 102 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,360 Bitches Bar. 103 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,960 - Pussy Party. - No. 104 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,280 - Cuntry Club. - What? 105 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,960 - Scissor Sisters Saloon. - Never been there. 106 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,280 - The Lickher Lounge. - Ew. 107 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,960 - Only a...couple of times. - (CHUCKLES) 108 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,720 Not... Yeah! Oh... 109 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,840 On Insta. You're the hot ambo chick from the car crash. 110 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,880 - You saw that? - SmokinHotSiren. 111 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,440 Yeah, you totally saved that guy's life. 112 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,520 Can't believe they've got you on a shit job like this one. 113 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,640 - Stai zitta, Sofia! - Stronzino! 114 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,480 - Sofia! - What? 115 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,200 - It's 'little arsehole'. - Oh. 116 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,560 - It's obviously true. - Oh! Cristo santo! 117 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,640 - (BROOMSTICK CLATTERS) - Ow! 118 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,560 No, no. No-one's coming. 119 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,800 Oh. He's gonna be fine. (CHUCKLES) 120 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,000 Where do you think you're going? 121 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,480 Well, I need an expert opinion on my butt too. 122 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,480 A pineapple. 123 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,000 - What? It's so spiky! - Mm-hm. 124 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,040 - How does it, like, get up there? - (CHUCKLES) 125 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,520 Making fruit salad, apparently. 126 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,280 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 127 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,000 - Uh, an eel. - No way. 128 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,160 - Still alive. - (LAUGHS) 129 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,840 A fishing rod. 130 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,040 - Hey, fishing is slippery. - Yeah. 131 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,120 Oh! 132 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,080 - Wedding rings. - (CHUCKLES) 133 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,000 So, um, it was two of them - it was a married couple - 134 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,320 and it was their anniversary. 135 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,240 - Aw! So romantic. - Mmm. 136 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,920 (BOTH LAUGH) 137 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,080 Um, you, uh... 138 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,520 ..you just have some... 139 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,880 DALE: (ON RADIO) Car 984? 140 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,120 What? We're off duty. 141 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,680 Yeah, we've just had some media requests come through. 142 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,360 Oh. OK. 143 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,120 We've lined up an interview. About the MVA. 144 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,560 Saving that kid from the car fire? Amazing work! 145 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,360 Thank you! 146 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,040 OK. 147 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,560 (CHUCKLES) I haven't been interviewed before. 148 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,080 Uh, when? 149 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,680 Mate, they don't want you. They want Cate. 150 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,720 You good for it, Cate? 10390

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