All language subtitles for LA to Vegas S01E12 Training Day 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+5 1 H 264-QOQ_track4_[eng]

Lady Luck
is on your side
from LA to Vegas.

What, are you gonna put
a sock on the cockpit door?
Don't cockpit-block me.

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Hey, guys.

Ronnie, where's your uniform?
You look like a pheasant.

You mean peasant.
She looks like a peasant.

-Pheasant is a bird.
-I'm so confused.

When I was a boy,
we used to hunt both.

I'm not working today.

Actually, me and Bernard
and Dave

are flying over to Phoenix
for Jackpot training.

(scoffs) Jackpot training.
What, you need a refresher

on how to tip a can
when you pour a drink?

Are you sure you want to be
that condescending

to the people who pour you
those drinks?

I instantly regretted it.
I'm truly sorry.

-You're a national treasure.
-RONNIE: Mm-hmm.

Yeah, to be honest,
it's called training,

but it's really
two days of partying,

-drinking out of ice luges.
-And sexual assignations.

Last year, we went through

-two Olympic villages
worth of condoms.
-Mm-hmm.

You see, Jackpot doesn't
do things like bonuses

or health insurance
or bathroom breaks,

so this is their unofficial way
of making it up to us.

Grapefruits' training
is just a few dance lessons

and how to say "help" in Russian

in case you wake up
in a shipping container.

Hmm.

I can see by your sad faces

you've been delivered
the bad news.

Your flight today
will be lacking

a certain je ne sais Dave.

That's French for moi.

Come on, fellas.
We got a party to get to.

Did he just drive away
on his suitcase?

Wow, it carries your stuff
and you can ride it.

Sorry, donkeys,
you had a good run.

PILOT (over P.A.):
Jackpot Airlines.

Northeast-bound to Las Vegas.

*

(slot machine chiming)

(electronic chime)

This couldn't be coming
at a better time.

After these last few months,

I could use two days of
guilt-free sanctioned partying.

Looks like you already started.
What is that?

A Bakersfield mimosa.

Sparkling wine and orange
Jell-O mix. You want some?

Hey, you're using
the purse I got you.

No, thank you, Ronnie.

I want to be alert
and clear-eyed

for my pending rendezvous
with flight attendant tonight

and flight attendant tomorrow.

I have no intention
of learning their names.

Your loss. Dave?

No. I have a cigar
and snifter of scotch

waiting for me when
I get upstairs to meet the boys.

It's gonna feel real good
to kick back, light one up,

and trade stories with
Captain Gus and Captain Al.

Oh, look.
There's your hallway

back to the golden age
for white guys.

Tell the misogyny we say hi.

I will.

(laughs):
I'm so excited, Bernard.

I heard this year there's
gonna be a martini station,

a mashed potato bar,

and a surprising amount of those
bummer desk, chair things.

How the hell are we
supposed to have sex on those?

Never mind, I figured it out.

Hi. Hi. Excuse me.
You look official.

What's going on?
Where's the bar?

Oh, sorry... Ronnie.

Uh, there's not gonna be
a bar this year.

Okay, so w-what are you saying?
It's just kegs?

No, what I'm saying is
that the parties are off.

Jackpot has had
a significant number

of complaints lodged
against them this year,

so they brought me in
to implement a new policy.

This training seminar
is going to be

structured, rigid
and mandatory.

Fun's over.

I'm gonna sulk in a sex desk.

It's Captain Dave time.

Are you the flight instructor?

Hi, I'm Captain Jayden.

I'm not your... What's a Jayden?
Where's Gus and Al?

How come I'm not choking
on cigar smoke right now?

Hunter, Aden, Jayden, can we get
this guy a chair and some water?

He's confused.
Sir, it's going to be okay.

-PHIL: Captain Dave.
-Oh, Phil. Thank God.

Did I walk into day care?
Where's the crew?

Sorry, Dave.
I thought you heard.

You're the last
of the old guard.

Now that Al's with United and
Gus is reunited with his wife,

you're training with
all the newbies this year.

That's no problem.
We're all pilots.

We all speak the same language.

Hey there, boys.
Sorry for the confusion.

What are you drinking over here?
Macallan? Glenlivet?

-Kombucha.
-Gesundheit.

(sighs)

So, I spoke to the gate agent.

Apparently somebody tampered
with the smoke detectors.

Ugh. That happens all the time.

Usually Ronnie and Bernard
just go in

with a pack of Kools
and smoke it back online.

Huh. Well, clearly
the replacement crew

don't know that trick, so we're
gonna be delayed a while.

Hey, Artem, bad news.

We're not making it
back to L.A. anytime soon,

so you have to find someone
to run your hot sauce booth

-at the farmer's market.
-Shh. I'm concentrating.

That slot machine
has not paid out in weeks.

And according to my numbers,

in the next 200 spins,
there will be a huge payout.

And that payout
is more than $100,000.

Well, the problem
is that old lady.

She hasn't moved for hours.

She's very stubborn,
like stain in a Tide commercial.

Hey, if we help you
get that machine,

will you split the winnings
with us? I could use the money.

Grapefruits has really
been struggling ever since

that taco place went topless.

Well, yeah. And I want to put
a down payment on a house.

I could be that
rarest of unicorns:

a homeowner and an educator.

Okay, you got a deal.

We can split the money, if
you can get that old lady off.

Well, then we better
get that old lady off quick.

Let's maybe stop talking
about getting an old lady off.

I can't believe they're
treating us like this.

No one needs this party
more than me.

(scoffs)
Uh, I don't know,

except maybe the person
who does most of your work.

Jean Chris, my exfoliator?
Please. He loves what he does.

Hey, this is a bummer for
everyone. We all needed this.

Yeah. I'm furious.

What am I gonna do
with all these shrooms?

-I think you ate them.
-Oh, yeah.

Well, what am I gonna do
with all these shrooms?

Okay, that Jackpot Reno crew

-knows how to party.
-Is terrifying.

Everyone, take your seats.

So, you've all heard about
the revamped training.

Up here, you'll see
the revised itinerary.

We'll start every day
7:00 a.m....

Okay, I have to say something.

This is total horse crap.

We all work our asses off,

and we deserve two days a year
to enjoy ourselves.

There have been quite a few...

Complaints. Yes, I know.

But, news flash,
we're an airline.

Of course we're gonna
have complaints.

People hate lines, hassles
and facing their own mortality,

and we make them pay
for all three.

So we demand to know
what was so bad

that now we're being punished.

ALL:
Yeah!

Okay. I didn't really want
to single anybody out,

but since you demand to know

what caught our attention,
here it is.

BERNARD (over video):
Sir, I'm sorry.

You won't stay in your seat,
so you've given us no choice.

Thank you for flying Jackpot.

Two million hits, though.
That's pretty cool.

Hey, guys.

Wow, it is rough out here.
No one will even look at us.

I know. Is this what
it feels like to be a seven?

Answer me, Ronnie.

What are you doing?
You can't sit here.

What, you're pissed at us, too?
Oh, come on.

Who hasn't had to duct tape
a passenger to his seat?

We were just unlucky enough
to get caught.

I've never been caught
because I've never done that.

Yeah, because you fly
the Albuquerque to Vegas.

It's all stoic cowboys
and rustic lesbians.

Well, we'll make it up to you.
We'll have our own party.

I'll make Bakersfield Marys.
It's just vodka and ketchup.

You should find
somewhere else to sit.

Why don't you try
the Reno table?

And then Gus said, "I don't care
if it's just my head

and your boxers,
I can still fly this plane."

And they let him.
It was a different time.

I... I don't think I get it.

So... so he flew
in his underwear?

No, my underwear.

That's why
it's such a good story.

Now, a good story is the time
I flew from Newark to Dulles

in 1:12 at a 30-knot wind shear.

-No. You didn't. Stop it.
Tell me everything.
-Yeah. Yeah.

I can't believe
I haven't told you this.

I would love to hear more.

You guys look like I feel.

Well, not you, Bernard.
You're always a stunner.

What happened to you?

Ugh.

Just these young guys.

They look at me
like I'm a fossil.

They don't appreciate
my war stories.

All they care about
is their stats.

They don't get
that flying is about

the shared human experience.

No one has ever gotten
off a plane and said,

"Oh, I'm so glad
we got here so quickly."

-Yes, they have.
-That's literally
all people say.

At least everyone isn't pissed
at you for ruining their party.

Yeah. Heard about that.

So one person got duct taped,
big deal.

We never claimed to be
the friendly skies.

I guess it's just the three
of us versus the Jackpot world.

We have to stick together
till this is over.

Yeah. If we're gonna
survive this,

we need to be like
Lew Wasserman and Jules Stein

when MCA turned its back
on them.

I'm agreeing with you.

We have to stick together.

For the love of God, man,
just say that!

Oh, we're now in payout window.

Every spin
could bring big money.

Artem. I got this.

I used to work
in the British Tea Museum.

The median age was 82.

I spent my days
leading elderly ladies

down chamomile-scented halls,
steeping them in the history

of our national beverage
and dusting their crumpets.

I got lost in that story.

-Is he gonna bang that old lady?
-Yeah.

-Hey!
-(coins jingling)

Get it!

Ah. Mwah.

Nichole, you are the luckiest,

both spiritually
and genetically.

You give her a pull.

-No!
-What?!

-What happened?
-Sorry about that.

I was working on this machine

and I must've
tripped the circuit.

It-it'll just be a little while.

What?

Oh, this?

It's just 1.2 pounds
of timekeeping magic.

It's my IWC Big Pilot's watch.

-The Rolex of wristwatches.
-That's nothing.

Take a look at this.

This baby monitors
my body temperature,

monitors my serotonin levels.

I can Bluetooth it
to the on-flight computer

so I can track my performance.

You can probably even link it up
to your hearing aid.

(laughter)

Well, I have you know
my hearing was injured

from all my standing ovations
I get

from my L.A. to Vegas flight.

Also, from my time as a roadie
for The Huh, a Who cover band.

Wait, you fly the L.A. to Vegas?

So d-do you know those
two flight attendants

that they caught on camera?

Yeah. Ronnie and Bernard.

That's my crew.

-(laughing)
-Oh, my God. Th-They seem crazy.

You must have, like,
a hundred stories.

Oh, I might have one or two.

There was one time when
they buried an unruly passenger

-under a pile of rolly bags.
-(laughter)

Oh, that's nothing.

I've seen those two
use defibrillator paddles

-to make a grilled cheese.
-(laughter)

-I'm lactose intolerant.
-Yeah, we all are, Carter.

-Shut up. He's holding court.
-Yeah, shut up, Carter.

(laughter)

-(P.A. beeps)
-Sorry for the delay.

Jackpot Flight 1610

service to Los Angeles
is now boarding.

That's our flight.

Sir, how much longer before
that machine gets fixed?

Hey, these things
take time, man.

Well, then that's it.
Yeah. Let's go home.

So much for being
a unicorn with a mortgage.

Guess I'm back to being
a horse who rents.

Well, we can't give up.

Since the delay,

we're out $72 on overpriced
airport hamburgers,

$21 on water bottles and $11
on Artem's Judith Krantz book.

Yeah. They say her books
are formulaic,

but when the formula
is perfect...

We're in too deep.

We started something
and we have to finish it.

I say we ditch the flight

and wait for the machine
to be fixed. Who's with me?

-I am.
-Is this really going to hit?

Oh, it's gonna hit big.

Then I'm in.

Who has a fun way
to pass the time?

(Artem clears throat)

(Colin groans)

"It was never more difficult
for a woman to be beautiful

than during the 1920s."

Hey, why do you think Layla just
called us in for this meeting?

Whatever it is, just deny.

Like Bjorn, my Swedish
orthopedist, does to our love.

Ronnie. Bernard.

We would like to have
a little chat with you

about some of the stories
that we have been hearing.

We had assumed the video
was an isolated incident.

But among other things,

there's talk of smothering
a passenger with luggage

and a culinary use
of the defibrillators.

What do you have
to say for yourselves?

-I...
-We did every single one
of those things,

and I'd do
every single one again.

I just realized
I do not know this bitch.

When we're in the air,

we have to act quickly
for the safety of everyone.

And sometimes that means
grilling a cheese

for a screaming kid
or using 18 pounds of luggage

for a woman who forgot
her weighted blanket.

We have protocol
for things like that.

Well, protocol
doesn't exactly help

when you're breaking apart
a bachelorette party fight

between three girls
named Jessica

because Jessica 2
forgot the penis pops.

Bernard and I work on a flight
that has monsters,

and, deep down, in places
you don't talk about at parties,

you want us on that flight.

You need us on that flight.

Who's gonna do it? You?

You, Flight Attendant Weinberg?

You are both suspended
until further notice.

And when we return
to Vegas tomorrow,

a disciplinary committee
will decide the best way

-to move forward with you.
-I'd like to switch

and become a star witness
for the prosecution.

So it's always four cologne
blasts: two to the chest,

one to the neck
and one to the bean bag.

It burns like hell,
but let me...

Hey, what the hell
have you been saying about us?

What do you mean?

See, he's smart enough
to deny it.

Let me guess, all those
young guys were making fun

of your old man shoes, and you
resorted to stories about us

to get some laughs.

-No. It was my old man watch.
-(sighs)

And, yeah, I told some stories,
but nothing that wasn't true.

You got us suspended!

We are screwed now
because you put yourself first,

like you always do.

To be fair,
it's not all Dave's fault.

You're the one who went rogue
and started yelling at everyone.

Excuse me. At least I tried
to do something to fix this.

All you ever do is raise
an eyebrow, cross your arms

and wait for me to finish so you
can pipe in a snarky comment.

Are you done?

Knew he was gonna do it.
Still loved it.

Don't you take my side.
I should go tell everyone

all the crazy nonsense
you do on the plane,

but I won't because
I know how insecure

and desperate to be liked
you are.

-Thank you.
-He just insulted you, Dave.

I know. How?

Now you're defending him?
Please.

You've been lying for years

about not watching
Game of Thrones,

so you don't have to deal
with all his questions.

How could you? You know
how bad I am with history.

I had to read the books,
and the books don't have boobs.

Well, maybe
I'm just tired of you

relying on me for everything.

Both of you! You expect me to
have the answers all the time,

and I am sick
of bailing you both out.

Oh, look.
It's Ronnie the martyr.

I didn't recognize you
without your crown of thorns.

No spoilers.
I haven't seen season seven.

RONNIE:
I think I see the problem here.

We've been flying together
for way too long.

We make a terrible team,

and I don't know if I want
to be a part of it anymore.

(Dave groans)

And cue Bernard's
snarky comment.

No. This is one Ronnie speech
I agree with.

Even if her hair looks like
something a goat sleeps on.

Ah.

Is the machine fixed yet?

-Not yet.
-I don't understand.

How are you two
still functioning right now?

You're with a stripper
and a gambler.

3:00 a.m. is the middle
of the day for us.

After this,
we're going to get lunch.

Now transition into Tadasana.

(inhales deeply)

Mm. Garudasana.

(inhales deeply)

So, we're almost halfway there.
You want to do a little switch

and let me jockey
this thoroughbred?

I'm good.

I've seen guys your age
drive before,

and I don't want to have
the right blinker on

for the entire flight, so...

Just sit back and think about
all the clothing you own

that was made
before I was even born.

(Dave scoffs)

(quietly):
Fashion's cyclical, Jayden.

I am still not talking to you,
but I wanted you to have this.

It's for my white suede outfit
you threw out.

Oh, please.
You didn't even buy that outfit.

You stole it from your mom.

No. The one I stole from my mom
had a red wine stain.

The one you threw out
was payment

from that lawn mowing nerd
I fake-dated to make popular.

Fine. Since we're doing this,

this is a bill
for two months back rent.

Okay, well, these cancel
each other out,

so I'm just gonna tear this up,

and now I'm gonna go be the hero
and get our jobs back.

Look, Layla,
I'm sorry about yesterday.

I reacted badly,
and if you were generous enough

to lift our suspensions,
moving forward,

I promise that I will
stick to protocol.

What do you think?

I'm sorry.

I'm-I'm just trying
to figure out

how you said all of that
without a mouth.

What?

Oh, no.
Where did you get that cookie?

We have an emergency.

Layla accidentally ate
a Reno cookie,

and now she's high
and she thinks she's a pirate!

(British accent):
Land ho, Captain!

That's hilarious.
I have a hanger in my carry-on

if she wants to do a hook thing.

It's not just Layla.
The entire Reno crew is high.

I'm not sure on what,
but it has a very

"cooked in a motel bathtub"
vibe.

This isn't funny.
This is an emergency!

There are too many people
in this cockpit.

-Everyone relax. Bernie!
-You're inviting more?

What's the sitch?

Seth is peaking, Alison's
crying, and Scotty's trying

to do a Die Hard crawl
through the overhead bins.

We have to make
an emergency landing!

Oh, my little Jayden.
That's the inexperience talking.

-You got this?
-Piece of cake.

Ronnie, wait.
This is important.

-Save me one of those cookies.
-I already have.

Nice.

-(smoke alarm beeping)
-(passengers murmuring)

What the hell?

I tried to make things better.
I don't think I did.

I tried to warm up
a lavender eye mask

to calm down Layla,
and then this happened.

You never use the microwave.
That's what the paddles are for.

I'll handle this,
you handle them.

Let's get to work.

Now would be a good time
for the captain

to reassure the passengers.

Oh.

Hey, everyone.

I-I just want to let you know
there's no reason to panic.

-We are...
-What the hell are you doing?

-I...
-Never say "panic" to a plane

full of passengers.

This calls for the soothing,
gravely whisper

forged by a thousand cigars.

Hey, there, folks.
Captain Dave here.

I know we got a bit
of an unexpected situation,

but nothing
we just don't call a Tuesday

on the old L.A. to Vegas run.

This whole thing
actually reminds me

of something
Captain Papa Dave once told me.

He said, "Son,
do all the drugs you want.

"Just don't do them
with people from Reno.

Because they're sickos."

Now sit back, relax and enjoy
our descent into Las Vegas.

I'm gonna go ahead and turn the
fasten seat belt sign off...

(seat belt indicator chimes)

...because it's gonna be
a smooth landing.

Layla, trust me.

If you let go,
you're not gonna float away.

(sighs)
Good. Gravity's back.

-Are you feeling better?
-I think so. Thank you.

And I'm sorry,
'cause now I understand

how your way of doing things
can sometimes be just necessary.

-And our suspensions?
-Never happened.

-And the party?
-Back on, next year.

We were thinking next Wednesday.

And we want a mashed potato bar

with one of those
desk-chair combos

and a private room
with a blind harp player.

Whatever you want, no problem.

Now, if you will excuse me,

I have to go rub my face
against that wall.

-Mm.
-Okay.

Artem, hours ago, you said,

"Trust me,
this thing is ready to pop."

Yeah, but earlier,
I was mistaken.

But now, believe me
when I say trust me,

this thing is ready to pop.

(groans)

You know what? I'm done.
This-this is ridiculous.

I can literally taste
my own breath.

No, listen to me, my friend.

Life is a slot machine.

Sometimes you're wasting hours
in a chair

where nothing really happens,

and sometimes things line up
just in the right way

and just in the right moment,

and it really seems like magic

-does exist after all.
-(coin clinks)

(lever clicks)

-(screams) I hate you!
-Whoa.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Stupid machine!

Stop embarrassing me
in front of my friends!

-Oh, Artem, no.
-No, no, no, no, no!

-He's not worth it.
-There, stop it.

So...

Yeah.

Me, too.

Listen, I might not say it
enough, but I want you both

to know it's an honor
to share the sky with you.

-And next time, I won't...
-Yes, you will.

But I will try
really hard not to...

-No, you won't.
-No one interrupt me.

I'm still gonna make smart-ass
comments, and they will sting.

(Colin sighs)

Hey. What are you guys
still doing here?

-You haven't flown home yet?
-It's a long story.

Please, just get us back to L.A.

Okay. Okay, come on.

Let's go talk to a gate agent,
get you on a flight.

-(slot machine ringing)
-(people cheering)
-Oh, wow.

Looks like someone
just won the jackpot.

Wait. Was that our machine?

Don't turn around.
Never turn around.

MAN: The money!
It won't stop coming! I'm rich!

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

You've hit the jackpot
with LA to Vegas.

Now here are a few more shows
to check out from Fox.

(beeps)
911. What's your emergency?

MAN (on phone):
I'm on Flight 46,
and we're going down.

Just tell my wife
I'm so sorry that I cannot
come home to you.

Hello?

This is your family.
We got you, okay?

Rapid response now!

-We can't save everyone.
-Says who?

It's time we showed Gotham
who we are.