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♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,554 --> 00:00:08,189
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,660
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,729 --> 00:00:14,796
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,864 --> 00:00:18,000
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:21,520
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,166
♪ All the things
that make us
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00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,956
♪ Laugh and cry
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00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:29,528
♪ He's a family guy ♪
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00:00:35,485 --> 00:00:37,185
Good evening.
I'm Tom Tucker
11
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,533
bringing you newsyou heard four hours agoon the Internet.
12
00:00:39,557 --> 00:00:42,190
Our top story,a mishap inQuahog Harbor today.
13
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:44,125
That's right, Tom.
14
00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:47,262
A ferry carryinga shipment of brand-newMercedes-Benzes from Germany
15
00:00:47,331 --> 00:00:49,910
crashed and sankjust a few milesoff our coast.
16
00:00:49,934 --> 00:00:52,267
Thus far, the cars
remain on the ocean floor
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00:00:52,336 --> 00:00:54,837
as the Germansrefuse to clean upthe disaster.
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00:00:54,905 --> 00:00:56,605
The German
Environmental Minister
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00:00:56,674 --> 00:00:58,985
called a press conferenceto issuethe following statement.
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00:00:59,009 --> 00:01:01,710
I see nothing!
I know nothing!
21
00:01:01,779 --> 00:01:03,745
Holy crap!
Did you hear that, Lois?
22
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,960
All them fancy cars
out there in the ocean
just free for the taking?
23
00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,561
I'm gonna get me a Mercedes!
24
00:01:08,585 --> 00:01:10,986
Peter, that may be
the stupidest idea
you've ever had.
25
00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:12,821
And you've had some
pretty stupid ones.
26
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,456
Hi, there. Peter Griffin.
27
00:01:14,524 --> 00:01:17,659
You know, a lot of us
here at Family Guy are,
frankly, sickened by
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00:01:17,728 --> 00:01:19,895
the sorry state of
education in this country
29
00:01:19,964 --> 00:01:22,097
and how little
you people read anymore.
30
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,933
So for this next cutaway,
we're gonna make you read it.
31
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,534
That's right, you heard me.
32
00:01:26,603 --> 00:01:28,148
Do a little work
once in a while,
33
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,682
instead of having
everything spoon-fed.
34
00:01:29,706 --> 00:01:31,584
You want your yuks,
put in a little effort.
35
00:01:31,608 --> 00:01:32,690
All right, go ahead.
36
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,189
Okay, that one
might have been
more of a visual,
37
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,292
but you feel that feeling
you got right now?
38
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:58,183
That's satisfaction.
You just read something.
39
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,852
And no one can take
that away from you.
40
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,020
Proud of you.
41
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,641
Geez, you're a mess.
What is that?
42
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,198
It was finger paint day.
43
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,345
What the hell?
Why didn't they clean
you up before you left?
44
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:19,171
Brian, there's, like,
37 other kids in there.
One was in a drawer all day.
45
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,101
Wow, seems like Lois
would've checked that stuff
out before sending you.
46
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,758
Yeah, you'd think so, right?
47
00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:26,505
I mean, it's clearly
not a place of business.
It's someone's house.
48
00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:29,208
You know, half the time
you can hear
someone showering.
49
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,828
I mean, you never see them,
but you can hear
the shower going.
50
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,412
Really?
That seems weird.
51
00:02:33,436 --> 00:02:36,204
Yeah, and is it normal
that Miss Emily tied
us all to the sink
52
00:02:36,273 --> 00:02:38,373
while she went out
to return a birthday present?
53
00:02:38,441 --> 00:02:39,753
No, that's not normal at all.
54
00:02:39,777 --> 00:02:40,987
You know, Stewie, maybe I should
55
00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:42,322
come by tomorrow
and check things out.
56
00:02:42,346 --> 00:02:44,174
That teacher sounds
really irresponsible.
57
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,180
She is. Adults are stupid.
58
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:48,979
The world would
be so much better
if it were run by babies.
59
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,119
Tonight on NBC, Shapes!
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00:02:52,723 --> 00:02:54,456
And then, Colors!
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00:02:55,826 --> 00:02:58,359
Followed byan all-new Dad's Keys!
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00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,638
Man, I can't wait
to get a Mercedes.
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00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:10,800
Me, either.
64
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,323
Yeah, it's gonna be sweet.
65
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:16,277
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
66
00:03:16,346 --> 00:03:18,190
What the hell is that?
A sun hat.
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00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:19,480
No, no, no, no, no.
68
00:03:19,549 --> 00:03:20,815
What do you mean, "no"?
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00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:22,762
I'm protecting
my face and neck
from the sun.
70
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,520
Use sunscreen!
You don't need to put
a circus on your head.
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00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:27,122
This is a ploy for attention.
72
00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:29,535
Sunscreens are bad for you.
The chemicals
get in your skin.
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00:03:29,559 --> 00:03:31,137
Boy, you really
want to wear that hat.
74
00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:32,326
That hat's coming off!
75
00:03:32,395 --> 00:03:33,528
No!
76
00:03:38,335 --> 00:03:39,567
You guys are jerks.
77
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,053
I can have my own identity
besides you two.
78
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,056
Not this way, not the hat way.
79
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,943
Holy crap!
I think we got one!
80
00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:51,791
Aw, damn it!
It's just a dolphin.
81
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,626
Sorry, did I get
in the way of something?
82
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,916
No, it's all right.
83
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,163
We were just trying
to get some of them
sunken Mercedes.
84
00:03:57,187 --> 00:03:59,571
Oh, yeah, there's
a great big pile of them
down there.
85
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,905
Me and my mates, right,
86
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,969
we was having a laugh
sitting in of one of them,
87
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,776
pretending to be people.
88
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,423
You know, like, driving around,
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00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,141
getting into incidents
with other motorists.
90
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:11,283
Honk, honk.
"Stay out the way,
you old bat!" Asian.
91
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:13,655
Not all Asians are bad drivers.
92
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,588
No, no, not all
terrorists are Arab.
93
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,124
But, you know, they are, so...
94
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:22,544
Um... Well, I'm Peter,
and that's Joe,
and that's Quagmire.
95
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,413
Name's Billy, Billy Finn.
96
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:28,416
It's got "fin" in it.
I didn't pick it.
Luck of the draw.
97
00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:30,419
Say, you want me
to try and get you
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00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,384
one of those cars
from down there, yeah?
99
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,405
You would do that?
100
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:38,176
Well, I could try.
Here, let me give it a go.
101
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:39,294
He seems nice.
102
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,882
He does.
Yeah.
103
00:04:42,733 --> 00:04:45,366
So what do you have
planned for the summer?
104
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:48,703
I'm sure he'll be right back.
105
00:04:48,772 --> 00:04:51,406
Sorry, mate, all I could get
was this hood ornament.
106
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:54,892
This is just as good!
Thank you so much!
107
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,274
Hey, you know,
if there's ever anything
I could do for you...
108
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,980
Actually,
you could do something.
109
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,216
You could eat only
dolphin-safe tuna.
110
00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:03,719
Wait, is that the brand
that costs five cents more?
111
00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:05,320
No, I can't do that.
112
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,790
Things ain't so good
in America right now,
which is why we're all so fat.
113
00:05:13,529 --> 00:05:16,264
What did I tell you, Brian?
It's a nightmare in here.
114
00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:17,465
Oh, my God!
115
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,154
Oh, what happened to that kid?
116
00:05:28,178 --> 00:05:30,756
He fell off a stool
trying to turn off
Maury Povich.
117
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,425
This is awful!
Where's your teacher?
118
00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:33,649
Probably out back.
119
00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,114
Excuse me.
Are you Miss Emily?
120
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,989
Yeah. Hi. Who are you?
121
00:05:41,057 --> 00:05:44,959
Uh, Brian. Brian Steel.
I was just
dropping Stewie off.
122
00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:46,094
Oh, yeah!
123
00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:47,873
I should probably
go back in there,
124
00:05:47,897 --> 00:05:49,542
see how everyone's
doing, I guess.
125
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:52,751
Ah, they're fine.
In fact, I see Stewie
reading a book.
126
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:56,904
Scratch-and-sniff.
"Lindsay Lohan Goes Jogging."
127
00:05:58,475 --> 00:06:00,475
Oh, God! That's terrible!
128
00:06:00,544 --> 00:06:03,511
Oh, here's a pop-up book.
"Tommy Lee Goes Boating."
129
00:06:08,318 --> 00:06:10,485
Move, Lois. You're on
the hood ornament's pillow.
130
00:06:10,553 --> 00:06:12,615
Peter, put that away.
It's time for bed.
131
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,957
Wait, hang on, Lois.
Before I go to bed,
I just got to do one thing.
132
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,143
Hello?
133
00:06:19,196 --> 00:06:20,773
Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt?
It's me, Peter.
134
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,448
You remember how you said
I'd never amount to nothing?
135
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:25,850
Is that a Mercedes?
136
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,113
Peter, hang up the phone.
137
00:06:28,504 --> 00:06:30,917
My God,
who could be at the door
at this hour?
138
00:06:30,941 --> 00:06:33,052
I don't know, but this late,
it's got to be bad news.
139
00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:35,776
Everyone knows you
always get bad news
in the middle of the night.
140
00:06:38,414 --> 00:06:39,525
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
141
00:06:39,549 --> 00:06:40,589
Huh? What?
142
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,295
You have cancer!
What?
143
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,819
Yeah.
I thought you should know.
Okay, go back to sleep.
144
00:06:44,888 --> 00:06:46,032
Wait, I have questions.
145
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,790
It's very late.
146
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,561
Oh, hello.
This is the right house.
That's good, then.
147
00:06:53,629 --> 00:06:54,674
What the hell?
148
00:06:54,698 --> 00:06:56,981
It's me, Billy. Billy Finn.
149
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,570
Just wanted to take you up
on your nice
offer from earlier.
150
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,848
What...
I don't... What offer?
151
00:07:01,872 --> 00:07:04,122
You know, the bit about
152
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,341
"If there's ever
anything I can do..."
153
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:08,376
So, yeah.
Oh.
154
00:07:08,445 --> 00:07:11,445
Yeah, thought I might
make a go of it on land.
155
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:15,383
So, anything you can ever do.
Here I am. Thank you.
156
00:07:15,451 --> 00:07:17,418
Squid pro quo.
157
00:07:17,487 --> 00:07:20,004
Thank you for not
being shellfish.
158
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:23,074
I just said that for
the halibut.
159
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,526
Fish puns.
160
00:07:25,462 --> 00:07:26,677
Oh, cod.
161
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,600
Oh, God, come on.
Let me in.
162
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,713
Peter, who is it?
Is Meg dead?
163
00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:36,432
It's that dolphin.
I think he wants
to crash here.
164
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,856
And I have no info on Meg.
165
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:40,342
He wants to what?
I'm not sure that...
166
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:41,709
I brought a gift.
167
00:07:41,778 --> 00:07:44,395
Put it to your ear.
You can hear the ocean.
168
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:47,577
♪ Caribbean QueenNow we're sharingthe same dream ♪
169
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,717
It's broken or something.
All I hear is...
170
00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:52,620
It's Billy Ocean!
171
00:07:52,688 --> 00:07:55,707
Oh, God! I got loads more.
172
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:58,855
I think you and I
are gonna have
a lot of fun together.
173
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,520
So, Billy, I hope
the couch was all right?
174
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,321
Yeah, a lot better
than the floor.
175
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,540
And I should know,
'cause I went
down on the floor,
176
00:08:12,608 --> 00:08:14,587
thinking it had to be
a lot better than the couch.
177
00:08:14,611 --> 00:08:17,295
Okay, well, breakfast is ready.
178
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,997
Oh. Uh...
179
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,565
Is everything all right?
180
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,017
Yeah. Well, it's just...
181
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,181
Would you mind
tossing it up
in the air for me?
182
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,382
Well, I don't know...
183
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,057
Lois, he is our guest.
Toss it in the air.
184
00:08:33,297 --> 00:08:36,298
Uh, I'm used to
a little applause, so...
185
00:08:38,168 --> 00:08:39,900
All right, all right. Not bad.
186
00:08:39,969 --> 00:08:42,754
Afternoon crowd.
Lightly attended.
187
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,782
So, Billy, how long
will you be
staying with us?
188
00:08:44,808 --> 00:08:46,552
Are you kidding?
As long as he wants!
189
00:08:46,576 --> 00:08:49,027
Yay! We live with a dolphin!
190
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,046
Correct, fatso.
191
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,648
Anyway, I'm off
to read Meg's diary.
192
00:08:53,716 --> 00:08:56,952
Only been here one night,
but I get the sense
we all dislike Meg.
193
00:08:57,020 --> 00:09:00,939
Um, I'm a dolphin,
smart, intuitive.
194
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:04,308
Also, Peter told me in the hall.
195
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,195
Peter, I'm not so sure about
Billy staying here with us.
196
00:09:07,263 --> 00:09:08,441
What are you talking about?
He's hilarious.
197
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,731
I don't know.
198
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,678
Listen, just leave it to me.
I'm great with animals.
199
00:09:11,702 --> 00:09:13,822
You remember when
I lived with those ants?
200
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:16,888
We're working on something.
201
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,062
Yes? May I help you?
202
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,376
Hey, put him down!
Who are you?
203
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,570
I can't stop him!
Can anyone stop him?
No? Well, he's gone.
204
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:32,904
Hey, Stewie.
How's it going?
205
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,250
Brian, what are you doing here?
206
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,973
Came by to check on my pal.
207
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,308
Where's Miss Emily?
208
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,888
I haven't seen her yet today.
209
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,257
She gave me
the keys to open up
when she left yesterday.
210
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,658
I thought you said
you were gonna talk to her.
211
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,049
I did, and she's doing
her best, you know?
212
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:48,119
She's got a lot on her plate.
She's got school,
she's got work.
213
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,387
This is her work!
214
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:51,039
Oh, hi, Brian.
215
00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:53,441
I thought you had a busy day
at your legal practice.
216
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:54,742
Oh...
217
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:55,891
Hey, Emily!
218
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,640
Yeah, I had some
time between cases.
219
00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,174
I thought I'd see
how you were doing.
220
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,116
That's so nice of you!
221
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,167
Let me just put
these bags away and throw
222
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,687
some saltines in
the yard for the kids.
223
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,321
You're disgusting.
224
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:09,590
Hey, I'm sorry,
but Miss Emily and I have
225
00:10:09,659 --> 00:10:11,959
a connection,
which is totally unexpected.
226
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,528
And by the way,
I actually think
she's doing a pretty good job.
227
00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:16,330
She's teaching you
guys independence.
228
00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:19,317
We're one!
Independence means we die!
229
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,336
Do you like this?
I just got it.
230
00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:22,670
Say you like it,
231
00:10:22,739 --> 00:10:24,116
or she's gonna
spend the rest
of the afternoon
232
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:25,251
out returning that stuff.
233
00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:26,908
Looks great!
234
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:29,154
Wow, you really
fill these things up.
235
00:10:29,179 --> 00:10:32,024
Hey, do you think
maybe you'd want to
hang out sometime?
236
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,575
What, you mean like
a movie or something?
237
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:35,066
Yeah, or maybe lunch?
238
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,496
I had a bad experience
last time I
went to the movies.
239
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,315
We're good friends,
aren't we, Milo?
240
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,988
We're best friends, Otis.
241
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,125
No! No! I reject
the premise of this!
242
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,864
This place seems fun.
What is it?
243
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:51,316
This is called a library.
244
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,129
And what's so great about it?
245
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,285
That.
246
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,499
See, we just got here,
so they can shush us.
247
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:59,440
But now we get to shush
anyone who comes in after us.
248
00:10:59,509 --> 00:11:00,629
Honey, you want to sit here?
249
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,262
Good.
250
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,429
That was fun.
251
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,698
Yeah. Now you're gettin' it.
252
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,049
Stewie, what's going on?
Aren't you supposed
to be at daycare?
253
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,967
I escaped.
What happened
to your arm?
254
00:11:14,991 --> 00:11:16,436
I finally stood up for all of us
255
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,538
and told Miss Emily
we should be given
a proper lunch
256
00:11:18,562 --> 00:11:21,006
and not just
what's left over
from her Baja Fresh.
257
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:22,442
And she said I
shouldn't raise my voice
258
00:11:22,466 --> 00:11:24,343
and pulled me really hard
into the other room,
259
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:26,078
and my arm came
out of its socket.
260
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,419
Are you sure?
261
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,565
Are you sure
you didn't just
sleep on it funny?
262
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,573
Does this look like
I slept on it funny?
263
00:11:31,641 --> 00:11:33,324
I'm gonna tell Mom. Mom!
264
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:34,993
You are not going anywhere.
265
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,873
I finally have a date
with Miss Emily tomorrow,
266
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,908
and I'm not gonna let you or
anybody else get in my way
267
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,776
until I have seen
every inch of her naked!
268
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,133
Do you even hear yourself?
269
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,896
And what am I supposed
to do about my arm?
270
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,252
I'll just pop it back in.
271
00:11:45,321 --> 00:11:47,922
You most certainly will not.
I need to go to a hospital.
272
00:11:47,991 --> 00:11:50,002
Brian, is Stewie
in there with you?
273
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:51,059
Mom!
274
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,927
We're in here, Lois.
He's napping.
275
00:11:52,996 --> 00:11:54,979
Relax. I'm gonna
pop it back in.
276
00:12:00,504 --> 00:12:01,603
Get in there!
277
00:12:01,671 --> 00:12:03,070
Hold still, Stewie!
278
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:12,663
I'm not saying I like pain,
but I'm not saying
I don't like it, either.
279
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,114
Okay, who's ready
for Family Movie Night?
280
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:20,383
All right, tonight's selection,
281
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,341
Tim Burton's
Alice in Wonderland in 3D.
282
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,521
Now let's all sit down
and take our headache.
283
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,914
Or we could watch The Cove.
284
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,599
The Cove?
285
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,097
Isn't that that
horrible documentary
where they kill all the fish?
286
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,903
Dolphins, actually.
287
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,366
Well, yeah, but this
has Johnny Depp
288
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,874
as some kind of very
funny tea-drinking homo.
289
00:12:39,943 --> 00:12:42,510
Come on, Peter.
Billy's our guest.
290
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:44,739
All right, we'll watch The Cove.
291
00:12:48,051 --> 00:12:50,101
Oh, my God!
I don't want to see this!
292
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,736
I know you can't tell this,
293
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:55,084
but the one who's about
to get her throat cut,
she's sorta hot.
294
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,858
What are you doing?
What do you think
I'm doing?
295
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,232
You're stoolin'?
What, you gotta
do that in here?
296
00:13:04,301 --> 00:13:06,479
Well, where else am
I supposed to do it?
297
00:13:06,503 --> 00:13:08,614
I can't just do it
on the floor, can I?
298
00:13:08,638 --> 00:13:10,316
You'd be all like,
"Ooh, who left
299
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,984
"this coil of rope
on the floor?"
300
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:14,209
It comes out very ropey,
is my point.
301
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:15,510
But I gotta take a bath.
302
00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:17,423
Go on, then.
We're both men.
303
00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:20,147
Well, all right, I guess.
304
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:24,352
- There you go!
- Look at that! What is...
305
00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:27,222
Whoa! Solar eclipse.
Blocking the sun.
306
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:30,057
Do not look directly at it.
307
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:32,260
What the hell?
What're you doin'?
308
00:13:32,329 --> 00:13:34,128
I'm just making a comment.
309
00:13:34,197 --> 00:13:38,182
Need to know summat.
Do you hear the word
"morbidly" a lot?
310
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,217
This is not fair.
Okay. And again,
311
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,497
I'm gonna ask one more question,
312
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,665
and don't take
this the wrong way,
313
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,433
but have you
actually got a penis?
314
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,489
Yes.
315
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,702
Where is it?
Where is it?
316
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,126
It's in there.
317
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,640
Are you sure?
So it's like
Mr. Snuffleupagus, is it?
318
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:51,896
Aw, the hell with this.
319
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,032
Lois, get the ruler,
we're measuring again.
320
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,433
And this time,
I decide where the base is.
321
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,654
So then I'm reading the funnies,
322
00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:04,775
and right before I
get to the last panel,
Billy blurts out, he goes,
323
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,678
"You know,
those firemen showed up
to get a cat out of the tree,
324
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,892
"but it turns out
it's really
Marmaduke up there."
325
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,393
It ruined the whole damn thing!
326
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,518
Peter, in Billy's defense,
the strip is called Marmaduke,
327
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,999
and Marmaduke
had not yet
made an appearance.
328
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,451
You probably should've
seen that coming.
329
00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:19,952
I tell ya, he was fun at first,
330
00:14:19,976 --> 00:14:22,722
but now I'm not sure
I can take much more
of him living here.
331
00:14:22,746 --> 00:14:25,429
Well, Peter, you've more than
paid back your debt to him.
332
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,882
I mean, what did he do?
He got you a hood ornament.
333
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,929
If you ask me,
it's time for him to go.
334
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,398
Yeah, you're right.
Plus, the sooner we
get him out of here,
335
00:14:32,422 --> 00:14:35,289
the sooner I can get back
to my cocaine and dollhouses.
336
00:14:46,068 --> 00:14:47,685
Dinner is served.
337
00:14:49,339 --> 00:14:50,419
Get out!
338
00:14:54,577 --> 00:14:58,029
Hey, uh, listen, Billy,
it's been fun
having you stay here,
339
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:01,176
but we really need
to talk about making
some new arrangements.
340
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,233
Oh, do we?
341
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,712
Is this because
there's some kind of
342
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,019
problem with the hood ornament?
343
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,572
No, that's... It's...
That's... It's fine.
344
00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:09,361
Good. Good.
That's good to hear.
345
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,269
'Cause it dawned
on me that the only thing
346
00:15:11,293 --> 00:15:12,804
better than you
having one of them
347
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,573
would be you having two of them.
348
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:16,347
Don't you say those things.
349
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,311
Don't you say those things
unless they're true.
350
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:21,619
Yeah? Be quite a thing
for you to have two of them,
wouldn't it?
351
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,138
Wouldn't it?
Yes, it would.
352
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:25,640
Would it ever?
353
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,456
Wonderful!
The best!
354
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,863
Very fancy!
355
00:15:35,952 --> 00:15:38,536
Now, what was it
you wanted to
talk to me about?
356
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,565
Nothing. Nothing.
357
00:15:42,825 --> 00:15:44,820
Tricia Takanawa.
What are you doing here?
358
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,779
Peter, I'm standing
here on your front porch
359
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,998
hoping to kill that dolphin
with this harpoon.
360
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:03,844
So, the thing about
dolphin lullabies
361
00:16:03,913 --> 00:16:06,581
is that they're all
in the key of "E."
362
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,667
E!
363
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,569
That's loud.
364
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,173
I get why that's factual.
I don't see why it's funny.
365
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,176
Hey, hey! What the hell, man?
366
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,138
Drink beer much?
367
00:16:20,162 --> 00:16:22,924
I just learned
that "much" thing
from the telly.
368
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,750
Hey, here's a question.
When are you going
back to the ocean?
369
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,331
Yeah. I mean,
don't you have
family back there?
370
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,538
I used to, but not anymore.
371
00:16:30,607 --> 00:16:33,941
Um, the wife
won't have me back.
Threw me out, actually.
372
00:16:34,009 --> 00:16:35,687
Well, maybe you
should talk to her.
373
00:16:35,711 --> 00:16:39,046
Peter, believe me.
If she'd take me back,
I'd go in a second.
374
00:16:39,115 --> 00:16:42,749
But she won't.
So as much as I
love her, moot point.
375
00:16:42,818 --> 00:16:44,235
Moving on.
376
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,439
Well, gotta go
and drain the eel.
377
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,125
It's electric.
My penis.
378
00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:54,178
Hey. Throw darts much?
379
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,044
Boy, I see what
you're saying, Peter.
Billy's annoying.
380
00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:01,502
Yeah, and PS,
that guy doesn't
throw darts much.
381
00:17:01,571 --> 00:17:02,670
He's new.
382
00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:09,443
Peter, I thought you said
you were gonna
ask Billy to leave.
383
00:17:09,512 --> 00:17:11,295
He's still sleeping
on the couch out there.
384
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,292
I know, Lois, but I
found out he's only here
385
00:17:13,316 --> 00:17:14,827
'cause his wife kicked him out.
386
00:17:14,851 --> 00:17:17,919
So I figured out a way
to kill two birds
with one stone.
387
00:17:17,987 --> 00:17:19,787
Like this.
388
00:17:19,856 --> 00:17:22,723
The key to that, Lois,
is big rock, small birds.
389
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,436
Oh, and I also
figured out how to
390
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,305
achieve two goals
with one action.
391
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:28,890
See, I'm gonna help Billy
get back together
with his wife,
392
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:30,893
and then he'll move out
and stop annoying us.
393
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,232
How do you plan to do that?
394
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,963
Are you kidding?
I'm great at getting
people back together.
395
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,947
I even recorded a song about it.
396
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:43,661
♪ Reunited
and it feels so good
397
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:50,034
♪ Doin' someone
that you used to do
398
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:53,337
♪ That's what
this song's about
399
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,373
♪ You could find someone else
400
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:59,176
♪ But this seems
a little easier
401
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:02,212
♪ 'cause you already
have their number
402
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,648
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
403
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:11,021
Hey, guys.
Everybody having
fun playing with...
404
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,823
What is that?
405
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:15,326
A piece of wood with
a nail in it. Neat.
406
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,994
He can't hear you.
407
00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:19,475
There was
a kitchen explosion today,
and half the kids are deaf.
408
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:20,559
Oh, hi, Brian.
409
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:21,648
Hey, Emily.
410
00:18:21,718 --> 00:18:23,518
Wow, you look great.
You're ready to go?
411
00:18:23,552 --> 00:18:24,632
Yeah, one sec.
412
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,087
I'm leaving, honey.
413
00:18:26,155 --> 00:18:27,555
Okay, babe, have fun.
414
00:18:27,623 --> 00:18:30,543
I'm probably
just gonna take
a couple more showers.
415
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:31,925
Who was that?
416
00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:34,275
That's my boyfriend, Devin.
Are you ready for lunch?
417
00:18:38,768 --> 00:18:40,885
What you did to these kids...
418
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,604
There is
a special place in hell
for people like you.
419
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,278
Come on, let's go home.
420
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:53,831
Man, when she gets to jail,
she's gonna be major lez-chow.
421
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,534
- She sure is, Stewie.
- She sure is.
422
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,356
I'm telling you, Peter,
you're wasting your time.
423
00:19:02,425 --> 00:19:03,824
She's never taking me back.
424
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,471
Well, you'll never
know until you try.
425
00:19:05,495 --> 00:19:08,039
Hey, I brought
this sack of garbage
from my home.
426
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,742
Where do I put this,
just anywhere?
427
00:19:09,766 --> 00:19:11,432
Yeah, anywhere.
428
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,853
Yay, people!
All right, here she comes.
429
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,722
Ah! Oh, hello, Joanne.
430
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,536
Billy?
What are you
doing here?
431
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,337
He's here because he loves you,
432
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,105
and he wants to patch things up.
433
00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,774
Hey, how come
you ain't got boobs?
434
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,376
You, like, a runner
or something?
435
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,600
Who's this, then?
436
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,401
He's just a friend
trying to help.
437
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,514
Look, Billy, I don't care
438
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,516
what you or your
fat friend here
has to say.
439
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,040
It's over.
440
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:41,245
Well, thanks for trying.
I knew she wouldn't
listen to you, though.
441
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:45,933
Well, maybe so.
But I know someone
she'll have to listen to.
442
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:49,353
Hey, gang, I'm Aquaman.
Get back together.
443
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,500
Boop-boop-boop
boop-boop-boop-boop.
444
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,558
That's not Aquaman!
Billy, what is going on?
445
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,943
Let me answer that.
446
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,929
Look, Joanne,
Billy had nothing
to do with this.
447
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,598
It was just a dumb plan
my buddies and I put together
448
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,867
because we know
how much Billy loves you.
449
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:07,804
And he misses you very much.
Look, just give him
another chance.
450
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:11,142
And if you won't do it for me,
do it for Fish Jesus.
451
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,276
Do you have Fish Jesus?
452
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,577
Of course.
453
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,924
He was nailed to a board
and hung in a man's study
454
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,349
as a novelty
to sing funny songs.
455
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,784
Your god is a gag gift.
Did you know that?
456
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,753
Would you excuse us?
457
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:27,024
Is it true, Billy?
Do you really miss me?
458
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:30,010
Joanne, I am so sorry.
I promise I'll do better.
459
00:20:30,078 --> 00:20:31,078
You know what?
460
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,680
I had to live
on the land to learn
461
00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:34,748
there might be
a million fish in the sea,
462
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,767
but there's only one you.
463
00:20:37,186 --> 00:20:38,518
Oh, Billy.
464
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,645
Aw, look at that.
That's nice.
465
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:50,013
Oh, cool, they're already
using my garbage!
466
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:58,283
Hey, Brian, thanks
for helping
get rid of Miss Emily.
467
00:20:58,307 --> 00:21:00,986
Although, I've got to say,
my new preschool teacher
is even hotter.
468
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,054
Really?
Yeah.
469
00:21:02,078 --> 00:21:03,422
Let me know if
you want his number.
470
00:21:03,446 --> 00:21:05,813
Oh, you!
471
00:21:05,881 --> 00:21:09,783
Okay, now just stay like this
and let Peter and Lois
finish their thing.
472
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,902
Peter, you did
a really nice thing
473
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,938
helping Billy get back
together with his wife.
474
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,885
Yeah, and the best part is
he's out of the house
and back in the ocean.
475
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,029
I guess everything
worked out for everybody.
476
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,564
Arr! 'Tis a mighty haul!
477
00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:25,877
Hey.
Oh.
478
00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:27,535
Yeah, it's me as Neptune.
34843
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