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1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,753
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,822 --> 00:00:08,089
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,158 --> 00:00:11,760
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,829
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,898 --> 00:00:18,133
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,520
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,049
♪ All the things
that make us
8
00:00:23,073 --> 00:00:24,823
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:29,944
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:39,889 --> 00:00:40,933
Stewie, what are you doing?
11
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,468
Just doing a little tai chi.
12
00:00:42,492 --> 00:00:45,021
You know how
the Asians look 30
until they're 60?
13
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,245
This is why.
14
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,857
Of course,
then they suddenly
look 100,
15
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,192
but cross that bridge, you know?
16
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,256
Is this a Japanese thing?
17
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:51,616
No, Chinese.
18
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,446
The Japanese have
a whole other thing
going on.
19
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,365
Hey, you want
to see a movie?
No, we're Japanese.
20
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,334
Let's go watch
a schoolgirl
bang an octopus.
21
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,373
Yeah!
22
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,694
Suction cup feel good!
23
00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:08,411
And of course,
the most important
part of any workout
24
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,969
is a proper cool down
and a stretch.
25
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,106
What? What is it?
26
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,173
I got a splinter!
27
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,174
Oh, my God, Stewie, what is it?
28
00:01:21,198 --> 00:01:22,459
Oh, he's just got a splinter.
29
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:23,881
Oh, my poor baby!
30
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,162
It's 'cause these
old stairs are just
falling apart.
31
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,385
It's not just the stairs.
32
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,804
Meg has spent two days
pinned under a roof beam.
33
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,208
Let's just focus
on the stairs, Brian.
34
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:38,947
Morning, Opie.
35
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,656
Hey, what's going on?
You going somewhere?
36
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,002
You got fired? Why?
37
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,074
Oh, well, it's no wonder
they finally caught you
doing that in here.
38
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:52,210
I mean,
the underside of your desk
looks like Carlsbad Caverns.
39
00:01:55,065 --> 00:01:57,833
Griffin, say hello
to Opie's replacement,
Stella.
40
00:01:57,901 --> 00:01:59,451
Nice to meet you.
41
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,797
What is this?
We doing a new secret handshake now?
42
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:04,189
No, Griffin,
she's deaf.
Oh.
43
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,901
Can she read lips?
44
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,242
Yes, I can.
45
00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:10,190
So if I do this,
I can talk about what
a sweet rack she has?
46
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,647
Yes, but try not to make
a boob-honking gesture
47
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,460
with your other hand
while you're saying it.
48
00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:16,196
Sorry.
It's okay.
49
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:20,305
I'm used to people being
a little uncomfortable
with me at first.
50
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:23,408
If you have any questions,
feel free to ask.
51
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,826
Yeah, actually, I do.
52
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:27,862
Are your other senses better
on account of you can't hear?
53
00:02:27,931 --> 00:02:30,765
Like, can you smell my farts
before they even come out?
54
00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:33,000
'Cause I got one in
the pocket right now,
55
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,554
and I want to know
if I need to feel
self-conscious about it.
56
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:39,408
I can't smell it, no.
I might be able
to see it, though.
57
00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:43,228
A lot of people
make small movements
when they fart.
58
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,508
They twitch their
eye or something.
59
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,232
Oh, like subtle giveaways, huh?
60
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:50,535
All right, well,
tell me if you can
see when it happens.
61
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:52,970
You just farted.
62
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,250
Oh, my God, you saw that?
63
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,075
You can see all my tiny,
subtle movements?
64
00:02:58,228 --> 00:02:59,645
You just did it again.
65
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,547
Well, this is
gonna be a delight!
66
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:02,975
I don't know why
Lois always said
67
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,100
she had problems
with female co-workers.
68
00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:07,530
So Abby, Elaine
and Janet have their
little lunch clique,
69
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,349
and of course I'm not invited.
70
00:03:09,373 --> 00:03:11,451
Seems like you're
doing everything
and they're doing nothing.
71
00:03:11,475 --> 00:03:13,286
Well, I don't know,
but what I do know
is that
72
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,854
in the staff meeting,
Christina said...
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
73
00:03:14,878 --> 00:03:16,356
My inventory system
wasn't feasible.
74
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,940
She's obviously
threatened by you.
75
00:03:17,981 --> 00:03:19,292
But when
the associate sales manager
came back in the room...
76
00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:20,860
It's ridiculous
and I support you fully.
77
00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:22,528
She told him the idea
as if it was hers.
78
00:03:22,552 --> 00:03:24,563
You can't let them get
to you. They're jealous
of what you have.
79
00:03:24,587 --> 00:03:26,833
It's nothing to do
with you, and everything
to do with them.
80
00:03:26,857 --> 00:03:29,057
Only you can
prevent forest fires.
81
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:35,058
Hey, Peter,
you ready to
go to The Clam?
82
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,715
Oh. Who's the hot chick?
83
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,218
Oh, that's Stella.
You don't have to whisper,
she's deaf.
84
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,347
Really?
Oh, my God,
that's hot.
85
00:03:41,371 --> 00:03:42,965
I didn't know
you had a thing
for deaf chicks.
86
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,667
Any kind of
disabled chick,
Peter.
87
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:47,470
They can do things to you
that regular chicks
don't even think of.
88
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,734
Besides, you know me.
I'm into a lot of
different stuff.
89
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,713
What, did you
hear something?
No, it's all good.
90
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:57,802
All right.
91
00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:07,462
You know, Chris,
a little friendly advice.
92
00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:09,564
Uh. You're gonna
start dating soon.
93
00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:10,876
Probably good to
get in the habit
94
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:12,467
of chewing with
your mouth closed.
95
00:04:12,536 --> 00:04:14,864
Doesn't bother me,
I'm just... You know,
one friend to another.
96
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:17,088
What, you got a problem with me?
97
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,574
You think I'm gross?
98
00:04:19,642 --> 00:04:21,943
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
99
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:25,197
Yeah.
100
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,634
This is what you are
and this is what I am.
101
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,052
Peter, hurry up!
You're missing dinner.
102
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:38,893
Fuck!
Fuck! Fucking cock!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
103
00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:40,228
Lois, what the hell?
104
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,997
Oh, my God, Peter, are you okay?
105
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:44,527
What the hell
happened to the stairs?
They're all slippery now!
106
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,318
I had them replaced, remember?
107
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,707
The old ones were so rough,
and Stewie got that splinter,
108
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,539
so I thought
replacing the wood
was the best way to go.
109
00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:53,141
When'd you do that?
110
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,388
The other day,
when you spent all that time
at the drugstore.
111
00:04:55,412 --> 00:04:56,978
Oh, yeah.
112
00:04:57,047 --> 00:05:00,527
Couldn't figure out
if that Hispanic lady
worked there or not.
113
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:03,768
Um...
114
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,670
Excuse me.
115
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,006
Excuse me?
116
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:12,677
Boy, I wonder
where the shampoos are
around here.
117
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:18,483
I said, "I wonder
where the shampoos are
around here."
118
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,949
Oh, for God's sake,
I almost thought
you were a regular person.
119
00:05:22,973 --> 00:05:24,238
Where's the shampoo?
120
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,427
What the hell?
121
00:05:34,451 --> 00:05:37,318
Hey, guys,
all the action's
over here!
122
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:38,932
Quagmire, what is all this?
123
00:05:38,956 --> 00:05:40,933
Peter's new co-worker
gave me an idea.
124
00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:43,408
Welcome to
Disabled Ladies Night.
125
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:45,827
Mine are made from teak.
What are yours made from?
126
00:05:45,896 --> 00:05:49,330
Yeah, mine are
actually just pressboard
with wood veneer.
127
00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:51,499
I can't get wet.
Oh.
128
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,568
I think I see my friends.
129
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,689
Hey, you guys
enjoy the carnival.
130
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,075
I'm gonna get
a drink at the bar.
131
00:06:02,011 --> 00:06:03,489
Hey, anyone sitting here?
132
00:06:03,513 --> 00:06:04,513
No, go ahead.
133
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,631
Thanks.
134
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,094
Hey, would you like
to go out sometime?
135
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,495
Wow.
That was fast.
136
00:06:09,519 --> 00:06:10,896
Yeah, well, you know,
I read somewhere
137
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,032
that women decide
within the first
seven seconds
138
00:06:13,056 --> 00:06:14,366
if they're
interested in you
or not,
139
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:15,918
so I figured
I wouldn't waste
anybody's time.
140
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,243
Fair enough. Sure,
let's go out.
141
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,422
Really?
Yeah.
142
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,395
Like you said,
I've already decided.
143
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,364
I'm Kate.
I'm Brian.
144
00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:26,334
Hey, you want
to go outside?
Maybe a little quieter.
145
00:06:26,402 --> 00:06:27,535
Sure.
146
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,042
Oh, my God, I...
147
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,055
Hey, check out Brian
with the blind chick.
148
00:06:36,079 --> 00:06:38,591
Hey, don't worry, Brian,
you're still doing
better than Quagmire.
149
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,865
He got a hooker.
150
00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:41,449
Ha!
151
00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:44,518
No, no, but she is a prostitute.
152
00:06:52,863 --> 00:06:55,558
Listen, you know,
we can do something
else if you want.
153
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,060
Why? I'm having
a good time.
154
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,862
Well, I mean,
I just don't know
how much fun it is
155
00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,131
for a blind person
to go to the movies.
156
00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:03,989
Brian, blind people
go to the movies
all the time.
157
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,223
We just listen.
158
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:06,658
I might be blind,
159
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,894
but my brain
has been trained
to listen to any movie
160
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,329
and know exactly
what's happening
on screen.
161
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,715
Like, I loved Titanic.
162
00:07:13,784 --> 00:07:16,451
I'm the king of the world!
163
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,588
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!
164
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,012
So, you sure
you don't need me
to come in?
165
00:07:27,063 --> 00:07:28,863
Maybe show you to your bed?
166
00:07:28,932 --> 00:07:31,277
Pretty sure
I can find it.
Thanks.
167
00:07:31,301 --> 00:07:33,279
Maybe next time
I'll have trouble,
though.
168
00:07:33,303 --> 00:07:35,365
You might have to
help me find it
next time.
169
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:36,637
So, there's a next time.
170
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:37,826
Definitely.
171
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,325
Great.
Well, all right,
good night.
172
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,622
Ugh!
173
00:07:42,646 --> 00:07:45,258
Our stupid
neighbor's dog
barks 24/7.
174
00:07:45,282 --> 00:07:47,431
God, I hate dogs.
175
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,878
You do?
Yeah.
176
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:52,203
They're just slobbery,
annoying,
needy little bastards.
177
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,483
I'm just not really
a dog person, I guess.
178
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:55,907
Oh. Uh...
179
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,826
Yeah, me neither.
Dog people can
get pretty annoying.
180
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,880
Well, this is a nice
apartment you have.
Is this your dog?
181
00:08:01,932 --> 00:08:05,172
Yes. Isn't he
the cutest little
cutie-wutie?
182
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,584
Look how cute he is.
183
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,019
Yes, he's very cute.
184
00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:11,350
Yes, he's cute.
Yes, he's cute,
cute, cute, cute.
185
00:08:11,374 --> 00:08:13,619
Look at him.
Look at him.
Look at him.
186
00:08:13,643 --> 00:08:14,643
Okay.
187
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,238
Look at it!
Look at that face!
188
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,556
Come on!
Look at that face!
189
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,298
You look at him!
Look at that fucking face!
190
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,099
Hey, guys,
this is driving me nuts.
191
00:08:26,123 --> 00:08:29,407
Was one of
the Dwarfs named Snappy?
Kind of well-dressed?
192
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,786
Or am I just making that up?
193
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:35,914
Fuck! Fucking cock!
Fuck! Cock! Cock!
194
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,165
Oh, my God, Dad!
195
00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:38,433
Dad, are you okay?
196
00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:40,534
Damn it,
I hate these new stairs!
197
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:41,881
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll just...
198
00:08:41,905 --> 00:08:44,872
I'm just gonna lie here
until the pain goes away.
199
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,586
What are you guys watching?
200
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,087
We now return to
the first time travel movie
201
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,395
with a perfectly
functioning time machine.
202
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:54,649
All right, if I'm correct,this should land usin 6,000,000 B.C.
203
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,085
Quick!
Get us out of here!
204
00:09:00,223 --> 00:09:01,489
Boy, that was close.
205
00:09:01,558 --> 00:09:03,135
Oh, my God, where's Frank?
206
00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:04,159
I'm over here.
207
00:09:04,227 --> 00:09:05,527
Oh. Okay.
208
00:09:12,202 --> 00:09:14,364
Brian, if I ever
take up roller derby,
209
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,932
what do you think
my name should be?
210
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,424
Bruisin' B. Anthony,
Alicia Sleaze or Quahag?
211
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:20,758
How about Harlot O'Scara?
212
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,405
Oh, you dick, that's genius.
213
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,606
How'd your date go?
214
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,224
Oh, went great.
We had an awesome time.
215
00:09:25,248 --> 00:09:27,008
She's really smart,
really funny.
216
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,084
Cute?
Yeah, hot, actually.
217
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,948
I don't know how she does it,
but she dresses really
well for a blind girl.
218
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,405
I mean, like,
her body is just...
219
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:36,085
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
220
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,425
What?
221
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:40,495
Don't "what" me.
You just said she's blind.
You just said it.
222
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,208
You totally buried the lead.
223
00:09:42,232 --> 00:09:43,798
Yeah, well,
it's not that important.
224
00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:46,734
So what if she can't see?
She's amazing
in every other way.
225
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:48,503
Okay, if you say so.
226
00:09:48,571 --> 00:09:50,950
Hey, does she
have really weird,
messed-up eyes?
227
00:09:50,974 --> 00:09:54,742
No, her eyes are normal.
They're beautiful, actually.
228
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,544
Bet they're not.
229
00:09:56,613 --> 00:09:58,257
Bet they look
like bowls of milk.
230
00:09:58,281 --> 00:09:59,297
Shut up.
231
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,093
You sure she isn't
just using you?
232
00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:02,728
Seeing-eye dogs are expensive,
233
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:04,447
she may just be trying
to get one for free.
234
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,432
No, actually,
she doesn't want
a seeing-eye dog.
235
00:10:06,456 --> 00:10:07,989
She hates dogs.
236
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,841
What?
237
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,710
She doesn't like dogs.
She's just not a dog person.
238
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,491
What? Does she not
know you're a dog?
How is that possible?
239
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,049
Well, we haven't
done anything yet.
240
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,329
So, I'm just gonna
avoid touching her
241
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,453
until a little more
time has passed.
242
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:23,549
And by the time I tell her,
243
00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:24,817
I'll have impressed her so much
244
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,201
that the dog thing
won't even matter.
245
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:27,319
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
246
00:10:27,343 --> 00:10:29,388
You know, I like
your delusion, Brian.
247
00:10:29,412 --> 00:10:32,047
Most people would say,
"I lost, I give up,"
248
00:10:32,115 --> 00:10:34,215
but you, you just keep trying.
249
00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:35,744
You're like
the Dominican Republic.
250
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,813
Always killing the guy
in charge and saying,
251
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:41,050
"Ah, this new guy,
this new guy's
gonna get it right."
252
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,703
Well, that's just because
I have confidence
that I'll find happiness.
253
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,238
Hey, anything's possible, right?
254
00:10:45,262 --> 00:10:47,139
I mean,
I once found
the Batcave.
255
00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:49,647
Look,
you can't expect
to hire 60 workers
256
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,049
to dig a cave under your house,
257
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,350
and then keep it a secret.
258
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,219
I mean,
those men live
in this town.
259
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,966
Yeah, but I told them
it was part of
a geological survey.
260
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:01,809
Batman, Batman.
They built a Lazy Susan
for your nuclear car.
261
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,946
That's something
they consider
conversation-worthy.
262
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,718
Gosh, this has been
an amazing week, Brian.
263
00:11:10,787 --> 00:11:13,805
I still can't believe
you beat up that guy
who tried to mug us.
264
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,189
That was a great dinner.
265
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,236
Yeah, I really
liked that salmon
you recommended.
266
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,770
Yes. May I help
you gentlemen?
267
00:11:18,794 --> 00:11:20,406
Hey, you're in
a tough part of town.
268
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,873
Now, give me your purse,
doll face.
269
00:11:21,897 --> 00:11:23,609
Hey, you get
your hands off that!
270
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,811
I don't care how
many of you there are,
you're not taking this purse!
271
00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:27,813
The hell we aren't.
Let's get him, boys!
272
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:28,937
Brian?
273
00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:30,605
Stay right there, Kate.
I'll handle this.
274
00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:34,158
Yeah, you like that, huh?
275
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,909
This guy is tough!
276
00:11:35,978 --> 00:11:37,556
No fair.
He knows karate.
277
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:41,100
Usually, handsome
guys ain't so good
with their fists.
278
00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:43,195
And stay away
from my girlfriend.
279
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:45,620
Brian, I know karate, too.
I can help you.
280
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,266
You stay out of this, lady!
281
00:11:48,858 --> 00:11:51,692
I got one!
I think I got one!
282
00:11:51,761 --> 00:11:53,438
Yeah, yeah,
but I got
the other four.
283
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,092
They're gone now.
They're gone.
284
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:59,161
Well, they took
the gift I had for you,
but at least you're okay.
285
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:02,336
And that trip
to the Eiffel Tower
was just amazing.
286
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,236
Are we almost at the top?
287
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,360
Yeah, just a few more steps.
288
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,107
Here we are.
289
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,280
Ah.
290
00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:14,715
The winds of Paris.
Isn't that what they say?
291
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:17,218
Ah! That breeze
is gorgeous.
292
00:12:17,287 --> 00:12:19,820
And I think I smell croissants?
293
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:22,768
Do you?
You have an amazing
sense of smell.
294
00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:24,504
Oh, there it is.
There's what?
295
00:12:24,528 --> 00:12:26,727
Oh, nothing.
Just the Goodyear Blimp.
296
00:12:26,796 --> 00:12:29,609
It says, "I love you,
Kate," all in lights.
297
00:12:29,633 --> 00:12:30,931
Here? In Paris?
298
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,346
Yeah, it's here
for Wimbledon
or something.
299
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:34,602
Oh, my God.
300
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,338
That's the most romantic thing
anybody's ever done for me.
301
00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:38,939
Well, get used to it.
302
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,320
You're going to be
hearing a lot of things
I've done for you.
303
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,539
Oh, I'm so happy
you had fun.
I did, too.
304
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,930
And I'm sorry
I practically cried
at the symphony.
305
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:49,500
It's just that
Romeo and Juliet
gets me every time.
306
00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,226
Wow. You work out!
307
00:12:58,294 --> 00:12:59,310
So much.
308
00:13:02,765 --> 00:13:04,843
We now return to True Blood.
309
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,951
Hi. I'm a nude vampire.
310
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,836
Hi. I'm a nude werewolf.
311
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:10,505
And that's the show!
312
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:13,724
Peter, come downstairs.
That gay show you like is on.
313
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,993
Coming!
314
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:36,397
Fuck! Fuck! God damn it,
fucking, cock-sucking,
cock, fuck! Damn it!
315
00:13:36,466 --> 00:13:38,266
Oh, my God, Peter.
Are you okay?
316
00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:41,802
No, I am not okay!
Nothing about this
is okay!
317
00:13:41,871 --> 00:13:44,152
You just need
to be more careful
coming down the stairs.
318
00:13:44,207 --> 00:13:45,207
That's all.
319
00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:47,069
Easy for you to say.
320
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:48,971
This is stressing
the crap out of me.
321
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,155
Like when we had
that easily
startled wallpaper.
322
00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:04,906
Well, it's getting late.
I should probably go.
323
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,595
Brian, this is, like,
our sixth date.
324
00:14:07,664 --> 00:14:10,343
I'm beginning to feel like
you're not attracted
to me or something.
325
00:14:10,367 --> 00:14:13,267
No, I... Oh, my God,
I'm so attracted to you.
I...
326
00:14:13,336 --> 00:14:16,104
So why haven't we
done anything about it?
327
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:19,991
I just... You know,
sometimes, taking things
slower is better.
328
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,459
Just ask any sloth.
329
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,612
Hey, is sometimes
taking things slower better?
330
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,087
Yeah.
331
00:14:33,156 --> 00:14:35,856
I just...
I like you a lot,
332
00:14:35,925 --> 00:14:37,303
and I don't want
to ruin anything
333
00:14:37,327 --> 00:14:38,604
by moving too fast, you know?
334
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,329
'Cause sometimes, when you...
335
00:14:41,397 --> 00:14:43,547
Mmm.
336
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,650
Brian, you never
told me you had a beard.
I love beards!
337
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,304
Oh. Yeah. No.
Hey, I'm bearding
it up over here.
338
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:54,441
Hey, Brian,
would you be cool with
meeting my parents?
339
00:14:54,511 --> 00:14:57,089
They're in town this weekend,
and I thought we
could all have dinner.
340
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,079
Uh, sure.
341
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,449
Are they driving themselves?
342
00:15:02,519 --> 00:15:05,619
If you're asking
if they can see, yes.
343
00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:09,557
And since you can see,
why don't you tell
me how these look?
344
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,192
Uh...
345
00:15:11,261 --> 00:15:12,738
They look pretty damn great.
346
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:14,795
Then why don't you
tell me how they feel?
347
00:15:14,864 --> 00:15:16,164
Uh, next time.
348
00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:18,533
Some things are
worth waiting for.
349
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:21,052
Wow. You're really
a true gentleman.
350
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,748
Yeah. Not
too many of us left.
351
00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:32,792
Stewie,
I need your help.
What? What is it?
352
00:15:32,816 --> 00:15:34,310
I have a crisis situation here.
353
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,767
Kate wants me to
meet her parents.
354
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,503
Hey, guys.
I'm just gonna...
355
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,156
Just gonna take this.
Thank you.
356
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,020
What the hell am I going to do?
357
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,204
All right,
all right,
just calm down.
358
00:15:46,228 --> 00:15:47,612
Calm down?
359
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:49,124
We're all
supposed to have dinner
tomorrow night,
360
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,243
and her parents
are going to see
that I'm a dog.
361
00:15:53,236 --> 00:15:56,871
Fuck!
Fuck! Fucking cock!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
362
00:15:56,939 --> 00:15:59,185
Don't worry, Brian.
I'll come up
with something.
363
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:02,410
Remember,
I'm the guy who came up with
the choreography to Showgirls.
364
00:16:05,415 --> 00:16:06,814
Okay, stop.
Stop. Stop.
365
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,484
Elizabeth, darling,
too much hands,
not enough hips.
366
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,802
Can I just show you?
367
00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,288
♪ One, two, three, four
368
00:16:14,357 --> 00:16:16,368
♪ I'm dancing
from my vagina
369
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,126
♪ One, two, three, four
370
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,305
♪ I'm grinding,
I'm grinding
371
00:16:20,329 --> 00:16:22,262
♪ Orgasm eyes,
orgasm eyes
372
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,465
♪ And we're done ♪
373
00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:27,818
You do 20% that,
and we got a movie.
374
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,174
Peter, what is all this?
375
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,711
Oh. Hi, Lois.
I live upstairs now.
376
00:16:36,779 --> 00:16:38,324
What?
That's right.
377
00:16:38,348 --> 00:16:41,249
I made a nest of
my old underwears
on which to lay my eggs,
378
00:16:41,317 --> 00:16:43,650
and I shall raise my young
in this room alone.
379
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,930
Peter, you're being an idiot.
380
00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:46,454
Oh, really?
381
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:49,540
Would an idiot
have been able to
rig this rig to that rig?
382
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,576
Peter, that's nothing.
Oh, is it?
383
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,017
I died! I died!
384
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,613
Peter, you can't stay up here.
385
00:17:00,637 --> 00:17:02,904
Come on, Lois.
A lot of people
live in weird places.
386
00:17:02,972 --> 00:17:05,306
Like my cousin,
Jaycee Dugard Griffin.
387
00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:09,427
Grandpa-Daddy-Husband,
my belly hurts again.
388
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,956
Oh, hi.
You must be Kate.
I'm Brian's nurse.
389
00:17:22,025 --> 00:17:23,736
He's had
a little accident,
I'm afraid.
390
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,760
Oh, my God, Brian!
Are you okay?
391
00:17:25,828 --> 00:17:28,930
Oh, don't worry. I'm fine.
I'm just sort of
bandaged up right now.
392
00:17:28,998 --> 00:17:31,532
You must be Kate's parents.
It's so nice to meet you.
393
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:33,467
Well, it's lovely
to meet you, too.
394
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:34,935
So, what happened?
395
00:17:35,004 --> 00:17:37,516
What happened is
this one's a hero,
is what happened.
396
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:40,091
Rescued two children
from a burning building.
397
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,337
Can you imagine?
398
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,372
Not quite in time,
they were both
horribly burned.
399
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,141
They have that sort of
creme brulee face
going on now,
400
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,625
but he saved their lives.
401
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:47,748
Oh, my God, Brian.
402
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,017
I know, right?
So noble.
403
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:54,572
Plus he's the only one
of my patients to never
ask me for hand work.
404
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,174
Such a gentleman.
405
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,387
Never even tried anything
when I'm giving
him a sponge bath.
406
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,479
And I'm very thorough.
I will wash
the abdominals.
407
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,059
Not all nurses do, but I do.
408
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,593
And yes, sometimes I graze it.
409
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,429
But you know what?
I'm a healthcare
professional.
410
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,030
It's what I do.
It's my work.
411
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,933
It's important to me,
and this one
respects that.
412
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,591
And I'm very grateful.
413
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,359
Why are you here again?
414
00:18:16,813 --> 00:18:18,779
Oh, my God!
I am so, so sorry.
415
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,875
It's no problem.
Don't worry about it.
416
00:18:21,984 --> 00:18:23,150
What's that smell?
417
00:18:23,218 --> 00:18:25,052
It smells like wet dog in here.
418
00:18:26,155 --> 00:18:29,089
That is the smell of
419
00:18:29,158 --> 00:18:31,803
backed up,
unreleased
genital essence.
420
00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:34,228
As I said, he's been
an amazing gentleman.
421
00:18:34,296 --> 00:18:35,857
Ugh! I hate
wet-dog smell.
422
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:36,925
Me, too.
423
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,693
Yeah, we're a cat
family ourselves.
424
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,129
You wanna see
some photos, Brian?
425
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:42,793
We've got
two Persians
and a tabby.
426
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,390
Are you okay?
427
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,670
Oh, he's fine,
he just has
a little throat thing,
428
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,906
residual smoke
from the fire,
you know?
429
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,080
Well, I'd like
to propose a toast.
430
00:18:53,148 --> 00:18:54,832
To Brian and Kate.
431
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,334
I know we just met,
432
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,564
but you seem like
you're really good
for our daughter.
433
00:18:58,588 --> 00:19:00,537
Really?
That's so great to hear.
434
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,937
And risking your
life for those kids?
435
00:19:04,961 --> 00:19:08,045
You're a good guy, Brian.
A really good guy.
436
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,413
Wow. Thanks.
437
00:19:11,868 --> 00:19:13,534
What's that thumping noise?
438
00:19:13,603 --> 00:19:15,347
It's your tail.
Stop wagging
your tail.
439
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,411
I can't help it.
Do something.
440
00:19:20,276 --> 00:19:22,026
Oh, damn it.
441
00:19:22,095 --> 00:19:23,894
I meant hold it, not cut it off.
442
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,907
You weren't specific.
I've never
done this before.
443
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,114
Are you okay, Brian?
444
00:19:27,183 --> 00:19:30,423
Yeah, I'm just
so happy to
meet you both.
445
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:33,470
What the hell are you...
446
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,717
I'm cauterizing your tail.
Trust me, I'm a nurse.
447
00:19:37,159 --> 00:19:39,159
Brian?
What's going on
over there?
448
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:41,106
I think they burned our dinner.
449
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:43,042
Oh, God, it hurts.
It hurts, Stewie.
450
00:19:43,066 --> 00:19:44,799
Here's a little morphine.
451
00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:46,562
What the hell?
You're not gonna
stick me with that thing.
452
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,186
I don't think
that's a real nurse.
453
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,898
Just hold still.
Pretend you're
at the vet.
454
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,221
Vet? I hate the vet!
455
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,842
There's a dog in here!
456
00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,097
Yes! Okay?
There's a dog
in here. I'm a dog!
457
00:20:05,655 --> 00:20:07,266
I'm so sorry, Kate.
458
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:11,192
I know you hate dogs,
and I wanted to
tell you, I really did,
459
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:13,310
but I just thought...
460
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,573
I thought
if we got to know
each other better first,
461
00:20:15,597 --> 00:20:17,542
you would eventually
be able to see past it.
462
00:20:17,566 --> 00:20:19,166
"See."
463
00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:21,947
I really care about you,
and I really
want this to work,
464
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:25,372
and I'm so sorry
I didn't tell you before.
465
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:29,242
Can you ever forgive me?
Do you think that you
can still be with me?
466
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:31,896
You know what, Brian?
467
00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:33,909
I could have gotten
over the fact that
you're a dog,
468
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,533
because I really
do care about you,
469
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,351
and I feel like
we had a connection.
470
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,686
But I can't get
over the fact
that you lied to me.
471
00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:41,288
You screwed up, Brian.
472
00:20:41,357 --> 00:20:44,225
And now you're going
to have to watch me
walk out that door.
473
00:20:59,208 --> 00:21:01,525
Well, it sounds like
I'm needed outside.
474
00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:09,850
Mom, what were
all those carpenters
doing here today?
475
00:21:09,918 --> 00:21:13,253
Putting back our old
crappy stairs, Meg.
I didn't have a choice.
476
00:21:13,322 --> 00:21:16,522
Yay! I love
my old stairs!
477
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,070
Uh-oh, I forgot to cut Joe down.
478
00:21:20,596 --> 00:21:22,430
Joe, what are you
doing up there?
479
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:25,466
Enjoying Heaven,
Bonnie. Come join me.
480
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,775
There's a gun in my nightstand.
481
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:32,016
Brian, I know you're upset about
482
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,418
what happened with
Kate and everything,
483
00:21:33,442 --> 00:21:34,953
but I did have one more thought.
484
00:21:34,977 --> 00:21:36,143
Yeah, what's that?
485
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,628
Well, since Kate is blind,
486
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:39,374
you could probably
just do a different voice
487
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,478
and go out with
her all over again.
488
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,271
Hey. Are you Kate?
Yes.
489
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:50,084
Hey, it's Noah from JDate.
490
00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:51,442
Oh, my God! Hi!
35039
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