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[theme music playing]
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[chatter]
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HAWKEYE: ♪ Are the stars out tonight
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B.J.: No, they're not.
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00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,498
♪ I don't know if it's
cloudy or bright ♪
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Cloudy.
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♪ 'Cause I only have eyes
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Clamp. Clamp.
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Clamp.Sorry, Doctor.
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♪ For you, dear
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You seem preoccupied, Donovan.Is anything wrong?
12
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No, nothing. Thank you.
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00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,903
If it's me, I can always
move to another war. Clamp.
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Will you pipe down, Pierce?We're working over here.
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What do you think
we're doing over here,
playing hearts?
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Oh, you're alwayslooking for a fight.
17
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Well, I've certainly cometo the right place. Suture.
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I don't mind
singing in the O.R.
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I'm liable to bust out
myself any minute.
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00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,746
Oh, go right ahead, Colonel.It'll do your old heart--
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middle-aged heartgood, sir. [laughing]
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You certainly have
a winning way, Junior.
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Colonel, I wonder if youcould help me with a problem.
24
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Well, I hope so.
25
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I haven'treceived a letter
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from my fiancéin four days.
27
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,411
You want me
to write you one?
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Not much I can do, Major.
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00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:50,371
Maybe Penobscott's busy.
30
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Yeah, learning to write.
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00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,287
I'll ignore
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00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,767
that jealousy-inspiredwisecrack.
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Has anybody
been getting mail?
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Suture. I've been
getting some fan mail
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from North Korea.
36
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,686
They want me to play
Panmunjom after the war.
37
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:02,905
Peace Talks areplaying there now.
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It's a tough actto follow.
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Oh, I got mail.
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00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,649
I got a wonderful letter frommy old Sunday school teacher.
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00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,868
Tell us about it,
and I'll step on your foot.
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00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:12,958
I'm worried about Donald.He works so hard.
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00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:14,569
Maybe he strainedhimself thinking.
44
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:18,007
Don't you wish. He hasa mind like a steel trap.
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That could be dangerous.
If he gets an idea,
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00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,620
he'll snap his neck
and swallow his face.
47
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,056
I feel like Rip Van Winkle.
48
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,493
How long have we
been in there?
49
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,364
Seven
and a half hours.
50
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,627
If I weren't certain ofbeing knighted, I'd resign.
51
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,977
-I wasn't much help
to you, doctor.
-You were fine.
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00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:33,892
I'm afraid I've got too manythings on my mind.
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We all do. I can'tdecide on who to askto the movies tonight.
54
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,897
-I'll bet it isn't me.
-Don't be so sure.
55
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Well, how about you?
56
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,857
You're asking me,
after him?
57
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,859
Well, he turned me down.I'm on the rebound now.
58
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,991
-This is your big chance.-I don't play second fiddle.
59
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Forget the fiddle.What do you play?
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00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:48,690
Solitaire.
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00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,735
Come on.
What do you say?
62
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:53,956
Dinner in the mess tent,the room that floats in fat,
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followed by a rotten
motion picture.
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It's a perfect evening.
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00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:59,788
-I'm busy.-Going to the auto show?
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00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,311
Post-op.
67
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,400
I'm helping B.J.follow up on some cases.
68
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,923
You're doing time
with Hunnicutt?
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00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,098
Who sentenced you to that?
70
00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:07,578
I volunteered.
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You're turning down
the chance to be seen
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with the Porfirio Rubirosa
of Ouijongbu.
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00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,453
What a tongue twister.
74
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:13,845
Oh, you've heard about me.
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00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,456
Maybe next time, Captain.
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00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,153
I'll have my florist sendan armful of pussy willows
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-to your tent.
-Won't help.
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00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:24,029
How about a box ofdehydrated chocolates?
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Poor girl's gone bonkers.
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-Who, Donovan?
-Yeah.
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00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,643
She turned down the chance
to hold hands with me
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00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,558
-in the flicks tonight.-Ah.
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00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,429
Some day she'll look back andwanna pound her head on a rock.
84
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,779
Is she actually helping
you out in post-op?
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00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,607
Is that so crazy?
86
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,870
You two got the mutualirresistibles for each other?
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Ha! Come on.
88
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Tell me, who's the most
devoted family man
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00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,181
-in the world?
-Mickey Rooney.
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00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,923
Who gets an A
in fidelity?
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00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,185
RCA Victor.
92
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,100
-No, you, both times.
-Huh.
93
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,058
So how come she turns down
a date with Dr. Jekyll
94
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:54,799
to go work in the lab
with Mr. Hyde?
95
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,584
She's helping mewith some cases.
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00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,325
I could use a little of
that kind of help myself.
97
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,065
Hawk...
98
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:01,589
her husband's
back in the States,
99
00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,112
and, uh, their marriageis in trouble.
100
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,461
Gee, I can't understand why.
101
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,115
They're only
12,000 miles apart.
102
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,290
She's really upset about it,
103
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,422
and work's good therapy.
104
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:09,858
Are you sure there's nothing
105
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,251
going on between you two kids?
106
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,339
Honest.
107
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,428
A little hanky panky
after Taps?
108
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:15,429
Scout's honor.
109
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:16,778
-Before?
-No!
110
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,997
-During?
-I'm happily married.
111
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,651
Oh, yeah?
112
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:23,045
I thought that that wasa contradiction in terms.
113
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,223
Colonel, how'd you likea delicious cup of coffee?
114
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,181
-I'd love it.-Me, too. This stuff stinks.
115
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:30,835
Oh.
116
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,968
I just don't understandwhy Donald hasn't written.
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00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,317
Maybe there's
another woman.
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00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,101
-Fat chance.
-Another man?
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00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:38,756
Donald is so devoted,it's scary.
120
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:40,802
I can certainly tellwhen someone loves me.
121
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,847
When you kiss him,
he clicks his heels.
122
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,459
I can feel his loving armsall the way from Tokyo.
123
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,112
Not bad for
a stocky guy.
124
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:49,158
Maybe he's involved insome of that spy stuff,
125
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,638
like parachuting
into North Korea.
126
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,509
-That's possible.
-Is he qualified?
127
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,077
-He's made 126 jumps.
-Once from a plane.
128
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:57,601
Mail call, Colonel.
You got a letter
from Mrs. Colonel.
129
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:58,950
Bless the dear girl.
130
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,343
Captain Hunnicutt, you gotthree from your wife.
131
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,258
-Three.
-You got three?
132
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,216
-Gotta write 'em to get 'em.-Oh, I don't know.
133
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,349
Melville wrote Moby Dick,and he never wrote back.
134
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:07,655
Probably on a cruise.
135
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,004
Major Houlihan,
136
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:10,310
a letter from your
lieutenant colonel.
137
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,573
Oh, wonderful!Wait a minute!
138
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,705
This letter has beenopened. Look.
139
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,272
Sometimes they
come like that.
140
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,969
And sometimes they're opened
141
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,493
by creepy company clerks
142
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,843
who like to peek atintimate personal passages.
143
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,410
Come on, Margaret.
That's uncalled for.
144
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,715
-It's not fair.
-Yeah,
145
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,021
and it wasn't evenvery intimate, either.
146
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,718
Nosy jerk.
147
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,285
Come on, Margaret.Smell your letter and read it.
148
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,430
Oh, this is terrible!
149
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,170
-What is it?
-Did peace break out?
150
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,477
It's Donald.He's in Tokyo Army Hospital!
151
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:49,087
What's wrong with him?
152
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,785
He doesn't say,brave darling.
153
00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,308
Could be just a checkup.
154
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:54,266
Maybe he's having
a neck installed.
155
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,007
Or getting his
upper lip starched.
156
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:59,707
You're just jealous becauseDonald is full-lipped.
157
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,099
I'm getting excited.
158
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:02,536
Eat your pudding.
159
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,635
How you doing, Donovan?
160
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:15,723
Okay.
161
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:18,552
Obviously.
Anything I can do?
162
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,205
No.
163
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:21,946
Bad news from home?
164
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,775
It's a letter
from my old man.
165
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,560
A "Dear Jane."
166
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,910
He started out with, uh...
167
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:31,260
"Dear Carrie...
168
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,784
I just don't know how
to tell you this."
169
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:36,613
But he found a way.
170
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:39,050
Yeah, he did.
171
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,225
[door opening]
172
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:46,275
Listen, uh, why don't you
skip post-op tonight?
173
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,929
No, I'll be there.
174
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:49,496
You don't have to.
I can handle it.
175
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:50,627
So can I.
176
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:52,934
Okay.
177
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:55,240
-B.J.?
-Yeah?
178
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,112
Thank you.
179
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,418
Sure.
180
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,302
You know,when you're hurting,
181
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,999
sometimes it helpsto talk about it.
182
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:26,184
My wife bottles things up,keeps everything inside.
183
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:28,839
So I get in her wayin the kitchen.
184
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:30,537
I keep nudging her
185
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,104
till she gets sore enoughto swing at me.
186
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,454
Then out it comes.
187
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,631
The anger, tears,the problem.
188
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:39,154
Everything.
189
00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:40,590
You must be
a good husband.
190
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,462
Yeah, but we missa lot of dinners.
191
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,898
[chuckles]
192
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,989
Would you liketo talk about it?
193
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,470
N-no, thanks.
194
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,168
Just like Peggy. Stubborn.
195
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,648
I'll meet you in the kitchen.
196
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,042
You can cork me
two good ones.
197
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,305
[chuckles]
198
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:03,961
To be honest,
I'd like to talk.
199
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,397
But not here.
200
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,051
Someplace where we
wouldn't be interrupted.
201
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,357
How about Guam?
202
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,186
How about my tent?
203
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,535
Oh, that wouldn't do.
204
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:13,580
Why not?
205
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,798
Well, it wouldn't
look right.
206
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,539
People might get
the wrong idea.
207
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:19,107
You wanna talk in your tent,we'll talk in your tent.
208
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,848
After I'm finished here,I'll stop by.
209
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,806
Thanks, B.J.
210
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,504
No problem.
211
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983
Now beat it.
212
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,944
[snoring]
213
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,162
-Corporal.
-Hmm?
214
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,599
-Corporal O'Reilly.
-Betty.
215
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:33,817
-Aah!
-[kiss]
216
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,166
-Stop that!
-What?
217
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,951
-What are you doing?
-What am I doing?
218
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,430
You kisseda superior officer!
219
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,867
I did? I didn't mean to.
220
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,259
-Why did you do that?
-I don't know.
221
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,044
I was sleeping, and I was
dreaming about--
222
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,220
-It's personal.-Don't you ever do that again!
223
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,613
-I won't ever!
-Hurry up, get up!
224
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,136
I want you to makea call for me.
225
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,572
-Oh, okay.
-Get up. Hurry up.
226
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,269
-I want you to call Tokyo.-Okay.
227
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,054
-Tokyo Army Hospital.
-Right. I got it.
228
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,317
I want to speak to LieutenantColonel Donald Penobscott.
229
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,884
Yeah, I know. He's your
whatchamacallit.
230
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,276
My fiancé, Corporal.
231
00:08:58,276 --> 00:08:59,843
Right. Sparky!
232
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,192
Yeah. Sparky, listen,
233
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:03,064
get me Tokyo
Army Hospital quick.
234
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:05,240
And I won't evermention to LieutenantColonel Penobscott
235
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,676
about what just happened,will we?
236
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,199
Oh, never, never, never.
237
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,984
Because he's big and strongand insanely jealous.
238
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,681
And he's got the bite
of a bulldog.
239
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:12,987
Who said that?
240
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,642
Nobody. I mean, I just
overheard it some place.
241
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,165
Are you working that thing?
242
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,949
Yes. Right. Hello, operator!
243
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,211
Yes. Uh, ma'am,
244
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,604
Uh, please, uh, get me
245
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,084
Lieutenant Donald
Colonel Penobscott.
246
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,564
-A patient.
-He's a patient,
247
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,087
and it's an emergency. Hurry.
248
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:27,915
What's going on here?Who are you calling, Radar?
249
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,177
Oh, it's for me, Colonel.
250
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,744
We're calling my fiancéin Tokyo.
251
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,006
I've been worried sick.
252
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,051
What? What, operator?
253
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:35,531
But-- Oh.
254
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,577
Ma'am, he's not
accepting any calls.
255
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,622
[gasp] Leave a message.
256
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:40,884
A message, operator.
257
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,016
Tell him to callMajor Margaret Houlihan.
258
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,321
Call Major
Margaret Houlihan!
259
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,062
-MASH 4077th.
-MASH 4077th.
260
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:46,107
Worried to death!
261
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,195
Worried to death!
262
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,239
Love and kisses--[kiss noises].
263
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,458
Love and kisses.
[kiss noises]
264
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,201
Aren't you in a premature
panic, Major?
265
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:54,506
He's not taking any calls!
266
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,812
This could be very serious!
267
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,248
Maybe he's just resting.
268
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,815
Colonel, request permissionto go to Tokyo
269
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,774
and attend my fiancébefore he dies.
270
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:03,211
Why don't you relax, find outwhat's wrong with him?
271
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:04,734
I'll take a chopperin the morning to Kempur
272
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,083
and hitch a ride to Tokyo.
273
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,868
No, Major. Let's me
patient for another day.
274
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:10,348
I'm not tying up a chopper
and losing a nurse
275
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,524
to find out Penobscott hasa simple pimple on his butt.
276
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,918
A simple pimple on his butt?
277
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,617
Radar, where did you
get that lipstick?
278
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,576
Major Houli-- Aah!
It was an accident!
279
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,230
I told you to keepyour mouth shut!
280
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,579
Right. She did.
281
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:24,754
It was an accident.
282
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,060
Of course.
283
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:28,540
Good night.
284
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,630
Good night, Major. Ahem.
285
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:34,416
Why don't you get
some rest, Romeo?
286
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:44,295
I thought I hada good marriage.
287
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,123
The war killed it.
288
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:52,347
"I wish you were writingthis letter instead of me.
289
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,436
It'd be so much easier."
290
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,962
"I know I'llalways love you."
291
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:02,749
"But I met someone."
292
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:03,837
Carrie.
293
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,275
Let me make a
little prediction.
294
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,494
One fine day,
believe it or not,
295
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,061
you'll get over all this.
296
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,585
The hurt will pass.
297
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,110
You'll forgive him, and you'llbe ready to love again.
298
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:18,155
It seems impossible.
299
00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:19,243
I know.
300
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,854
I know, but some day,
301
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,464
you'll be glad that guy's
outta your hair.
302
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:25,293
-A new fellow will come along.-[chuckles]
303
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:26,686
Nice, bright guy.
304
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,384
A sucker
for eyes like yours.
305
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:30,777
You'll start dating.
306
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,909
He'll fall madly
in love with you.
307
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:35,259
And you'll turn around
and clobber the poor slob.
308
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:36,565
[laughs]
309
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:55,105
[yawns]
310
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:57,499
You want me to wake you upwhen you're finished eating?
311
00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:00,328
I didn't get any sleeplast night.
312
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,678
Gee, I dreamt I was dancingwith Major Houlihan,
313
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:05,333
and Betty Grablewoke me up.
314
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,595
Somethin' like that.
315
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:09,641
Good morning.
316
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,687
Morning!
317
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:12,949
You were out awfullate last night.
318
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,342
Lots to do in post-op.
319
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,952
You were gone when Iwoke up this morning.
320
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,345
Couldn't sleep.
321
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:18,607
If I didn't know better,
322
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:19,956
I'd sayyou were out all night.
323
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,305
Mm-hmm.
324
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:22,654
You could've called.
325
00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:23,699
Mother and I wereworried sick.
326
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:25,440
Dad, shut up.
327
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,443
Ah, I hate to seethem grow up.
328
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,706
I just hope you weren't wastingyour time with some nurse.
329
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,273
Let's say I was sitting up
with a sick friend.
330
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,709
Good, good.
331
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,232
Start at the beginningand tell me all about it.
332
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,277
Good morning.
333
00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:37,365
Good morning.
334
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:38,888
Donovan, you look
like a new woman.
335
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,368
Not that there was anythingwrong with the old one.
336
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:41,630
Thanks. I feel better.
337
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,371
Well, why shouldn'twe all feel good?
338
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,676
Our work is so rewarding.
339
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,026
Always lending a helping hand.
340
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,331
Doing unto others.
341
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,333
Hawk, your mouth
runneth over.
342
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,682
I'm just teasing.
343
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:51,858
I mean, do I know
what I'm saying?
344
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,294
Whatever it is,
I don't mean it.
345
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:54,948
-Should I go?
-Just stop talking.
346
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,906
I will as soon as I getmy foot out of my mouth.
347
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,516
I think I'll put it
someplace else.
348
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,127
Ah, I'm being paged
at the pool.
349
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,302
Well, you two carry on.
350
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,999
[laughs]
Strike that.
351
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,609
This is me leaving.
Here I go.
352
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,524
Bye. So long.
353
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,315
-Hello?
-Hi.
354
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,664
Anybody in there?
355
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,666
I'm sorry.
356
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:20,103
I'm-- I'm a little,
uh, preoccupied.
357
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,018
Anything wrong?
358
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,585
Oh, no, no.
359
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,197
I, uh, I see you'retrying the eggs.
360
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:28,677
You're braver than I am.
361
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,029
Will you excuse me, Carrie?I've got a lot of work to do.
362
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,645
[knocking]
363
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,734
One second, please.
364
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,738
-Major Houlihan.
-Major Burns.
365
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:49,741
-Uh, am I disturbing you?-Not yet.
366
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,395
Now you are.What is it?
367
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,789
Firstly, may I say,
I'm sincerely unhappy
368
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,573
your fiancé
is terribly sick.
369
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,227
He's not terribly sick!
370
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:59,273
All I know is that
he's in the hospital.
371
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,752
Oh, when they don't tell you,it's usually pretty bad.
372
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,406
They haven't
not told me.
373
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,278
I just haven't been
able to find out.
374
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,846
And I'm sincerely nothappy you're unhappy.
375
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,370
Thank you, Frank.
376
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,589
-Anything else?
-Oh, yes.
377
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:14,723
Uh, I have this littlegift to present to you.
378
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:17,682
It's just a little,inexpensive token of sincerity.
379
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:20,555
How lovely.
A Japanese umbrella.
380
00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:21,904
Made in Texas.
381
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:24,124
Thank you, Frank.That was very sweet.
382
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,690
Well, giving's
what it's all about.
383
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,692
We had a fine relationship
once, Margaret,
384
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:30,086
and this just goes to provethat there's no hard feelings.
385
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:33,524
Oh, I get cranky
at times, but...
386
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:34,786
we're still pals, okay?
387
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,179
What a nice speech.
388
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,877
It's off-the-cuff.
389
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,226
Thank you, Frank.
390
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,445
I hope we canalways be friends.
391
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,447
Oh, why not? I'm always
ready if you need me.
392
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:44,971
I appreciate that,
393
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,711
and I'm really anxiousfor you to meet Donald.
394
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:47,887
I think about you in here
395
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,453
and me just across
the compound.
396
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,064
I think about the goodtimes we had, Margaret.
397
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:52,848
-I'll never forget 'em.-Neither will I, Frank.
398
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:53,936
A lot of people knock
this war, but I can't.
399
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,895
-It gave me you.
-Oh, thank you.
400
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,287
Our friendship
is real, Margaret.
401
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,549
It's warm. It's honest.
402
00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,508
-It's...convenient.
-Frank!
403
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:02,989
I'm doing my best,
Margaret!
404
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,208
But it's not enough.
I can't stand it anymore!
405
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,645
Frank, stop that!Get a hold of yourself!
406
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,604
-Not me! You!
-Let go of me!
407
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,780
-You fake! You fake!
-Ow, ow, ow!
408
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,564
Don't break it!
I can get my money back!
409
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,349
You pretendyou're my friend!
410
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,003
Take it home,you phony baloney!
411
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,702
[whimpering]
Oh, Donald.
412
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,405
-How do you feel?
-Terrible.
413
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,190
-You wanna talk about it?-No.
414
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,758
Nothing like an old finkto tell your troubles to.
415
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:34,890
I don't wanna
talk about it.
416
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:36,022
Come on.
417
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,327
Pour your heart out.
I'm a doctor.
418
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:38,894
I can fix it.
419
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,070
[sighs]
420
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,550
Hawk,you're looking at a guy
421
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,769
that fell offthe fidelity wagon.
422
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:47,511
I thought I heard a thump
sometime last night.
423
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,731
And I'm miserable.
424
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:51,080
I'm a happily married man.
425
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,429
Not like Frank Burns is happy
426
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:55,519
because his wife
owns real estate.
427
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:59,262
I adore my wife and my kidand my marriage.
428
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:01,134
I know.
429
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,527
I don't like being unfaithful.I'm not lookin' around.
430
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,181
I'm lucky to havewhat I've got.
431
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,749
You're right.
You are lucky.
432
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:09,446
God help me.
433
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:12,101
B.J., you stumbled
last night. That's all.
434
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,364
You were helping somebody,
and it got out of hand.
435
00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:16,497
-You made a mistake.
-I sure did.
436
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,849
What's that?
437
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,242
I'm writing Peg about it.
438
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:25,723
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Don't be an idiot.
439
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,638
You made one lousy goof,and you wanna punish yourself,
440
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,553
but don't punish her.
441
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:31,555
Do not tell Peg.
442
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:33,601
Don't tell anybody
what you just told me.
443
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,037
This will pass.
444
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,604
Like a kidney stone.
445
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:38,736
Simply take a vow.
446
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:39,824
Raise your right hand.
447
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:42,088
Come on. Come on.
448
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:44,133
I promise to be a good
and faithful husband,
449
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,787
to write nice,
cheerful letters home,
450
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,180
to think of Peg often,
451
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,398
and to keep my fat hands
off Nurse Donovan.
452
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,009
-[chuckles]
-Do you vow?
453
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,662
I vow.
454
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,012
I feel better
about you already.
455
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,926
-Thanks.
-My pleasure.
456
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,103
There's probably a career
for me in saving marriages.
457
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,453
You know, I'm gonna
take a vow too.
458
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:00,715
Good for you.
459
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:03,544
I, Hawkeye Pierce,
vow that, some day,
460
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,459
I will take a vow
just like his.
461
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,069
Amen. But right now,
462
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,810
I'm a little late for
a very important date.
463
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,551
No time to say hello,
goodbye.
464
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,118
I'm late, I'm late,
I'm late.
465
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,470
Lieutenant,what can I do you for?
466
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,907
Oh, uh, it's a personal
problem, Colonel.
467
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:21,170
Uh, my husband
wants a divorce.
468
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:24,608
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
469
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,523
-Stateside, is he?
-Yes, Colonel.
470
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,222
Well, it's a wonder
471
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:31,311
we don't have moreof this kind of casualty.
472
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,704
They say absence makes
the heart grow fonder,
473
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:36,359
but I think that'sa lot of buffalo bagels.
474
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,057
Excuse me.
475
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,580
Sit down, Donovan.
476
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:45,281
Um, I'd like
a transfer, Colonel.
477
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:48,110
I'm making a mess of
things here at 4077.
478
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,373
You volunteered forthis duty, Lieutenant,
479
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,940
and you've been
doing good work.
480
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:52,984
We need you.
481
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:55,204
I'd be happier elsewhere.
482
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,728
If you've got problems,people problems,
483
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,469
I'd like youto work them out.
484
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:00,905
They don't mean anything
485
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,211
compared to what these boysare going through.
486
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,430
Don't you agree?
487
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:05,649
Yes, Colonel.
488
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,173
I don't want you leaving
489
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,088
'cause you're hittinga rough stretch of road.
490
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,393
Hang on for a while.
491
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,134
It's my opinionyou can ride it out.
492
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,222
Okay?
493
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,096
I'll try.
494
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,227
Thank you, Lieutenant.
495
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,189
Colonel Potter, sir.
496
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,538
What do you want, Klinger?
497
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,974
Justice, sir.
498
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,976
Justice in the army?You're crazy.
499
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:30,021
You might say that, Colonel.
500
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:33,068
Uh-oh. I don't likethose moist eyes.
501
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:36,115
Sir, you ever heard of
the Toledo Strangler?
502
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,160
No.
503
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,337
He's struck eight times.
The terror of Toledo.
504
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,252
Kills only women
motorcycle cops.
505
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,993
So?
506
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:47,865
The fiend
stands before you.
507
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,954
You are the ToledoStrangler?
508
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:52,174
I confess, I am.
Extradite me.
509
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,350
Send me back to Toledo
for a lengthy jury trial.
510
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,004
Why do you do this,Klinger?
511
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,745
The sirens, sir.
512
00:18:57,745 --> 00:19:00,487
The sirens on the motorcyclesdrive me bananas.
513
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,836
Have you read this?
514
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,272
What do you mean?
515
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,795
It says herethe last murder
516
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:07,885
took placeonly two weeks ago.
517
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:10,018
This man's an imposter.
518
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,151
Some nut trying
to get in on my act.
519
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,022
Beat it, Klinger.
520
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,502
But, sir, what about
the newspaper clipping?
521
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:16,764
What about it?
522
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,940
It says the killer's
from Toledo
523
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,812
and always uses
a yellow scarf.
524
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:22,987
I rest my case.
525
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:24,337
Paste itin your scrapbook.
526
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,208
I could strangle
somebody for ya.
527
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,210
I don't mind auditioning.A person of your choice?
528
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,994
Some other time.
529
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,040
Colonel, I don't expect
you to buy everything
530
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,348
I bring in here,
but maybe just once, okay?
531
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:38,960
Out, Klinger, before I calla woman motorcycle cop.
532
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,091
[clicks heels]
533
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,533
Doctor?
Captain Hunnicutt.
534
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,752
-What's wrong?-This one looks shocky.
535
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,667
He's waxy,
and his lips are blue.
536
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,103
What are his vital signs?
537
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:53,975
Pulse 120.
B.P. 94 over 52.
538
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,716
Give me anotherunit of plasma.
539
00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:57,152
Right.
540
00:19:57,152 --> 00:19:58,414
Nurse.
541
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,855
Yeah, thanks.
542
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,903
It was a good pickup,
Carrie. Alert as hell.
543
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:11,210
Thanks.
544
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,865
We're gonna have to
watch him for a while.
545
00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:16,824
How are you feeling?
546
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:19,305
-Why do you ask?
-What?
547
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,697
What do you care?
548
00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,221
Those are the firstcivil words
549
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,744
you've spoken to mein a week.
550
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,136
You're exaggerating
a bit, aren't you?
551
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,529
No, I'm not.
552
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:27,965
You've been salty as hell.
553
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:30,446
A bear with hangnails.
554
00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:31,882
I wasn't aware of it.
555
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:32,840
Wanna talk about it?
556
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,277
-No.
-Why not?
557
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,453
'Cause the last time
we talked, we didn't.
558
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,542
That's what we
oughta talk about.
559
00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:42,719
B.J.,
it's important to me.
560
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,636
Okay.
561
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:47,985
Nurse.
562
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,162
Keep an eye on himfor a few minutes.
563
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,555
I'll be right outside.
564
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,561
[wind gusting]
565
00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:06,047
I know how you feel.
566
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,005
You feel guilty.
567
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,703
But you're blaming me.
568
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:11,922
No, I'm not.
I'm blaming myself.
569
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:13,881
Only partly.
570
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:16,187
Look, I get your angerevery time I come near you.
571
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:17,580
I don't need it.
572
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,931
Carrie, I'm sorry,but you know what happened.
573
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,238
I got this enormous
attack of the guilts.
574
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:26,676
I've never done that before.
575
00:21:26,676 --> 00:21:31,072
I'm hopelessly, passionatelyin love with my wife.
576
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,943
What's wrong with that?
577
00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:34,205
I don't wanna mess that up.
578
00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:36,207
I feel like I've
betrayed her.
579
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:38,166
Why?
580
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,995
Because you were kind andconsiderate and sweet to me?
581
00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:42,953
Because I was indespair one night,
582
00:21:42,953 --> 00:21:44,172
and you helped methrough it?
583
00:21:44,172 --> 00:21:46,522
Are you ashamed of it?
584
00:21:46,522 --> 00:21:47,697
No, of course not,
585
00:21:47,697 --> 00:21:49,003
but there was more
to it than that.
586
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:51,048
We didn't plan that.
587
00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:53,137
We're still human beings,you know,
588
00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,835
no matter how hardwe try not to be.
589
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:58,229
Yes, I know,
and I'm still afraid.
590
00:21:58,229 --> 00:22:00,231
Of what?
591
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,798
Of you.
592
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,411
Because you're right here,
593
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:08,109
and you're so attractiveand so close.
594
00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:10,285
And so vulnerable.
595
00:22:10,285 --> 00:22:12,331
Yes.
596
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,637
You don't trust yourself.
597
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,335
[scoffs]
598
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:19,033
B.J., just becauseI'm across the compound
599
00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:20,774
doesn't mean you canwaltz into my tent
600
00:22:20,774 --> 00:22:22,079
whenever you want to.
601
00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:25,735
I needed you that night,and you were there.
602
00:22:25,735 --> 00:22:28,477
I'll always love you for that.
603
00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:30,827
It doesn't mean it's evergonna happen again.
604
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:35,179
I can work out my own problem.
605
00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:37,921
I don't expect youto be the answer to it.
606
00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:43,362
Does that make it easier?
607
00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:49,585
Yes... and no.
608
00:22:49,585 --> 00:22:51,544
We can be friends.
609
00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:54,851
Yes, we can.
610
00:22:56,287 --> 00:22:57,941
Closer than most.
611
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:01,467
Still friends.
612
00:23:01,467 --> 00:23:03,425
Carrie...
613
00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:06,559
you're very special.
614
00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:09,126
I like you, too.
615
00:23:13,130 --> 00:23:14,393
Okay.
616
00:23:15,655 --> 00:23:17,308
Let's go back
to work, friend.
617
00:23:28,668 --> 00:23:31,584
Hello! Hello!
618
00:23:31,584 --> 00:23:33,281
Lieutenant DonaldColonel Penobscott?
619
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:34,804
-Aah!-Yes, Major Houlihan calling.
620
00:23:34,804 --> 00:23:36,415
-Thank heaven.
-Thank Radar.
621
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,374
Donald? Margaret!
How are you?
622
00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:41,376
Oh, darling,I've been worried sick!
623
00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:43,509
I was just saying I--
Colonel, Corporal,
624
00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:45,119
may I make my call
in private, please?
625
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,860
Certainly.
626
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:48,252
Donald, how are you?
627
00:23:48,252 --> 00:23:49,776
Darling,what's happened to you?
628
00:23:51,038 --> 00:23:53,475
Oh, no! No!
629
00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:55,259
Colonel, Colonel,come back in here, please!
630
00:23:55,259 --> 00:23:56,522
-What is it, Major?
-It's Donald!
631
00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:58,132
He's hurt himself.
A hernia
632
00:23:58,132 --> 00:24:00,090
doing the rope climb
on the obstacle course.
633
00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:02,136
Donald, you're always
training so hard.
634
00:24:02,136 --> 00:24:04,094
Colonel, request permission
to go to him, please.
635
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,356
We're very busy, Major.
636
00:24:05,356 --> 00:24:06,662
But he needs
a hernia operation.
637
00:24:06,662 --> 00:24:08,011
We need you here.
638
00:24:08,011 --> 00:24:09,796
He won't let me go.
It's this stupid war!
639
00:24:09,796 --> 00:24:11,319
-She's right. It's the war.-Colonel, Corporal,
640
00:24:11,319 --> 00:24:13,234
may I complete my call
in private, please?
641
00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:16,063
Certainly. He'll beout of action for aboutfour weeks, Major.
642
00:24:16,063 --> 00:24:17,543
Never mind!
643
00:24:17,543 --> 00:24:19,414
Donald, you've got
to be more careful!
644
00:24:19,414 --> 00:24:20,807
The rope climb--
645
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,158
A double hernia!
646
00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:25,289
POTTER: Eight weeks.
647
00:24:25,289 --> 00:24:26,595
Oh, Donald, you--
648
00:24:26,595 --> 00:24:28,684
Donald, you can't
do this to me.
649
00:24:28,684 --> 00:24:30,425
You have to be a littlemore considerate.
650
00:24:30,425 --> 00:24:31,992
After all, you're
an engaged person.
651
00:24:36,910 --> 00:24:38,215
[theme music playing]
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