All language subtitles for MASH (1972) - S05E03 - Out of Sight, Out of Mind (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 ImE)_track4_[eng]

[theme music playing]

ANNOUNCER: Okay. 3-1, Giants. Two outs, two on,

bottom of the ninth. Three and two on Hodges.

-Maglie deals.
-[bat strikes ball]

It's cut on and belted to deep left field.

Back goes Mueller. A-way back to the wall!

It's a three-run homer for Gil Hodges!

[mumbling] She's gone.

The Dodgers go
from bums to kings

and win it 4-3!

Come on, Frank.Shut up, will ya?

Geez, it's 4-3in the morning.

This game will be rebroadcast

at 1200 hours on Armed Forces Radio.

Frank, come on!

Oh, stop dreaming
and go back to sleep.

Oh, that makes good nonsense.

-Hawkeye.
-Yeah?

Wake up, Hawkeye.

The stove in
our tent went out.

-Again?-It's freezing in there.

-It's warm in here.
-There are four of us.

I knew I should havegotten a bigger bed.

FRANK:
Can you people
hold it down?

I mean, show
some consideration.

I don't remember leavinga wake-up scream.

Thanks, Hawkeye.You're the only onewho can fix it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

-B.J.?
-Hmm?

If I'm not back
in five minutes,

don't come and get me.

Good night, Frank!

Here he is, girls,
Handy Andy.

Hey, Mr. Fix It.

Let's hear it
for the janitor.

[applause, cheering]

Thank you. Thank you
very much. Thank you.

Thank you, Hawkeye.
It's freezing.

Well, what do you expect?Springtime in Korea.

[banging on metal]

You should feel honored.

We chose you 'cause youhave the best hands in camp.

I try to keep in touch.

Be careful, Hawkeye.

-[explosion]
-ALL: [screaming]

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

Oh, knock it off, Pierce.

[indistinct shouting]

Radar, call
the 121st Evac.

I want their
ophthalmologist.

Tell 'em we got a boy
with flash burns.

Major James Overman.

Get his keister
up here pronto.

Get him in here,
quick now, B.J.!

Get me in there quick.
I can't see anything!

[shouting continues]

Now look, you dumb clerk.

I'll tell you this once,

and I want you
to get it straight.

This is General
Walter O'Reilly.

Three stars and real mad.

If Major Overman isn't
over here by the time

they crack my powdered
eggs for breakfast,

I'll have you
digging a latrine

for every G.I. in Korea!

You got that? Good!

How's that feel?

Blind.

Okay, Hawkeye, you take it
easy for a couple of days.

I'll be back Friday.

Listen, uh, oneimportant question.

Will I get to keepmy nickname?

Let's hope so.

Just wondering
if I should rent

a seeing eye dog or buy one.

See you Friday.

Tell me, Sherm, whereis this General O'Reilly?

Who?

Oh, well,
let me explain.

We're really sorry,
Hawkeye.

You don't have to shout.The sides still work.

-We're sorry.
-That's all right.

Next time,get a union man.

Hawk, if there's
anything you need...

Well, if you'regoing by the P.X.,

you could get me
a coloring book
and some crayons.

I think you're sick enoughto qualify for the big box.

I gotta go.

-B.J.?
-Yeah?

Visit me a couplehundred times, will ya?

At least.

Nurse? Nurse?

What's the matter?

My arm's numb.
I-I think it's asleep.

Well, let me take a lookat it, so to speak.

[clattering]

Where are you?

Is there a doctor
in the house?

Now what is it,
Pierce?

Oh, Frank, I'm glad you'rehere. Go get a doctor.

What are we
trying to do with
this patient, hmm?

Arm wrestle, only I havea slight advantage.

His bandage is too tight.

Oh, I'll take care
of that.

Now let's scoot
back to our bed, okay?

We don't want to botherthe other patients now,

-do we? Hmm?
-Keep it up, Frank.

We'll getour nose busted.

[clattering]

Somebody will be with
you in a minute, okay?

Sorry, just bumping through.

Huh, Claude Rains.

I'm Doctor Pierce.
Anybody home?

Hi.

[sighs]

Tell me whatthis says, will you?

You're a real funny man,
aren't you?

Come on, fella,give me a break.

Can't you seeI can't see?

No, no, I can't.

I'm sorry.What happened?

A grenade... landed
10 feet in front of me.

I caught most of the stuff
in the face. And you?

I offered a light toa temperamental gas heater.

I didn't get your name.

Oh, I'm-I'm Tom Straw.

-Hiya.
-Hi.

Hawkeye Pierce.

Where you from, Tom?

-San Francisco.
-Beautiful city.

Yeah. I'm looking
forward to getting back

and not seeing
the Golden Gate.

You tryingto depress me?

No, no. I'm too busy
depressing myself.

Look, you're alive.Maybe you should feel lucky.

Do you feel lucky, Hawkeye?

Not lately.

What'd you doback in San Francisco?

Taught high school English.

Well, you can still teach.

Be grateful you're notan airline pilot

or a truck driver.

Or a doctor.

Right.

Pierce, I thought we agreed

we were going to stayin our bed.

No, we agreed that we
were going to loosen

that kid's bandage. Did we?

-I was on a break.
-Burns, I swear,

I'm a better doctor blindthan you are with both eyes.

-Nurse!
-Yes, Doctor.

Kellye, help me re-bandagethat kid down there.

Then I want you to fill me inon everybody in here.

Frank, you can go back towhat you were doing: nothing.

Ow!

-Where is it?
-Right here.

Colonel, how am I supposedto maintain order in there

with Pierce stumbling aroundtrying to help everyone?

The nurses can't
take a temperature

without reporting
to him first.

And he's always
touching them.

Disgraceful.

Well, he's
got no business

being in there
if he's sick.

I suggest we ship him

-back to the 121st.
-Why?

Well, I'm sure he'd bea lot more comfortable.

I appreciate your concern.

You're right.He should be moved.

Well, thank you.

But I don't think
it's necessary

to take him any fartherthan the Swamp.

-But I--
-And to avoidthe inevitable argument,

dismissed.

"And the rest ofthe family is doing fine.

San... Sandy Falcon,"
I think...

-Yeah.
-"Asked about you.

She still sweats..."
No, no, that's...

Oh, she's sw..."She's
still sweet on you."

-Hmm.
-Who's Sandy Falcon?

A girl who used to dipmy pigtails in the inkwell.

So obnoxious, she was voted

most likely to marryout of her species.

Oh. Uh, "Take care, son.
We're really--"

Hold it, Radar.I'm ready to try again.

-Oh, sir.
-Come on.

I think I can do itthis time. Come on.

Okay.

Here... one, two.

Get outta my light.

Sir, do I haveto chase them again?

No. Let 'em lay there
until they get it right.

Finish reading the letter.

Yes, sir.

Uh, "Take care, son.

We're connecting the dogs--"

That's "counting
the days," Doodles.

Oh, right."We're counting the days.

"All my love."

-Major Burns.
-What?

Major Burnsis coming this way.

[whistling]

Pierce, you disgust me.

That's right, Frank.
I discussed you with
everyone I know.

They all think
you're disgusting.

Handicapped people usuallyknow how to act properly.

Oh, come on, Frank.I'm just trying to keep busy.

Look. I even made your bunk.

Did a good job, Pierce.

But it's not regulation.

The "U.S." goes on theoutside of the blanket.

I wore thiswith just you in mind.

You make me
want to throw up.

See? It pays to dress.

Hawkeye, did you reallymake Major Burns' bunk?

Why not? I'm used toshort-sheeting in the dark.

It's me--
Corporal Klinger.

I heard the hairon your legs rustling.

Hey, Hawk, is it okay if I goover to the Mess Tent?

They got fried shrimp
for lunch,

but you gotta be one ofthe first six guys in line.

Bon appetit.

-That mean yes?
-Yes! Yes.

How you doing, Captain?

I feel as goodas I look.

Hey, Klinger,silk, right?

Always bright and breezy.

Listen, Captain,
I brought you somethin'.

Good. Have her siton the edge of the bed

and tell mewhen you're gone.

Sorry, sir. All I got
for you is this.

In case you ever
need us, just toot.

[duck call]Perfect.

It was either that
or a howitzer.

I can't get my lipsaround a howitzer.

[quack]

Yes, sir.
What can I do for you?

Works like a charm.

Klinger, would you like toescort me to the art museum?

We don't have
an art museum.

Then I'll settlefor the latrine.

Your limo awaits.

Lead on, MacDuff.

[clattering]

-Don't hit that.
-I'm sorry.

Low bridge.

-We're outside.
-Uh-huh.

I bet we're drawing staresfrom all the other couples.

I look fabulous,

but you look a trifle
frumpy in your fatigues.

You never looked better to me.

Here we are.

Need any help in there?

Not since I was 2.

Watch your step.

-Corporal Klinger.
-Ma'am.

Colonel Potter wants
to see you on the double.

He needs your help
to pick out a present
for his wife.

I'm kinda busy, Major.

Are you disobeying
an order?

All right, Major,but you'll have to stay here

-and wait for Captain Pierce.-Very well.

-Oh, Margaret.
-That's very good.

It's your perfume:
Moon Over Fort Dix.

It's Forbidden Furlough.Where do you want to go?

Mess Tent. Then after that,

we can go over to your placeand play blindman's bluff.

-Savage.
-[grunting, hooting]

Head.

♪ I'll hear you
in my dreams ♪

♪ Call you in my dreams

♪ Le dee doo doo
da dee da ♪

- Here. You take him.- Right away, Margaret.

I'll bet I'm
the only hot potato
in this entire tent.

Here you go, Hawk.

Oh, how convenient.
It's in Braille.

Now let me tell youwhat they got.

No, no. Let me guess.

Creamed spinach.

Incredible.You can smell it?

No. I could hear it.

Uh, try a little of that.

Last week's bread?

Close.This week's meat loaf.

What you don't eat,they drop on the North Koreans.

Dodgers are down
to their last strike

as Hodges waits
on the two-two pitch.

Hodges.

Maglie delivers. Just inside.

Those Giants stink.

I think the Dodgerswill win.

[chuckles]

Oh, what's so funny?

Sir, the Giants
got 'em 3-1.

All they need
is one more out.

Oh?

Oh, well, uh, do you guysever bet on these things?

Okay. 3-1, Giants.
Two outs, two on,

bottom of the ninth. Three and two on Hodges.

Maglie deals. It's cut on

and belted to
deep left field.

Back goes Mueller. A-way back to the wall!

It's a three-run homer for Gil Hodges!

The Dodgers go from bums to kings and win 4-3!

[laughing]

Thanks, suckers.

[laughing]

Very good, Frank.

I bet he could have calledthat one in his sleep.

[Frank laughing]

Colonel, have I ever toldyou about our world-famous

Crabapple Cove
Lobster Festival?

Radar!

Go ahead, Hawkeye.I'm listening.

For two days and two nights,3,000 people do nothing

but drink beer
and gorge themselves

on the biggest, reddest,
juiciest lobsters

you've ever seen.

And then at sunset--
Hello, Radar.

-The boats start coming in.-Hold the boats.

Radar, what's this requisitionfor 300 rubber gloves?

We're almost out, sir.

On New Year's Eve,we used them for balloons.

-Oh, yeah.
-I remember one year
it got so cold,

-we bundled up
in rubber gloves.
-Right, Hawk.

Get me that requisitionfor blankets, Radar.

Yes, sir. Right away.

Where were we?

Oh, yeah,
the lobster festival.

Right.

One year I went downto a deserted cove

with, uh, three baskets

and a little homewreckernamed Sharon.

"Sharon Share Alike"we called her.

We were therefor four days.

Never got to the lobster.

[chuckles]

Four days and nevergot to the lobster.

[quack]

Colonel! Radar!

Oh, son, I'm sorry.

I thought I'd only beout for a second.

Forget it. I just got
a little nervous.

It would have been worseif you were here and snoring.

Hawkeye, this
is Radar O'Reilly
speaking to you now.

Uh-huh. How would you
like to take me

for a little walk, Radar?

Wanna hit some more
golf balls?

-No. Post-op.
-Okay.

Colonel, I'll be back laterto tell you the story

about the two priests
and a mule.

You'll get a kick
out of it.

-Door's always open.
-I hope so.

Otherwise,
I'll break my nose.

Radar, how'd you like
to get your money back

with Major Burns?

Is this doingsomethin' sneaky?

-Of course.
-Oh, boy.

Here's the bedpost.

-Welcome aboard.
-Thank you, Radar.

It's been wonderful
traveling with you.

Will you be needing me
anymore, sir?

Ah, no, but if you're
ever in town again,

I'll give you a call.
[quack quack]

-Beej?
-Yeah.

How's the, uh,
Straw kid doing?

Okay. We're about to sendhim down to the 121st.

I-I want to see him.

Right away.

-Mr. Straw.
-Yes.

I have here Hawkeye Pierce,

new boy in
your English class.

Ah, yes, Pierce.

Third row, second seat,big mouth.

The very same.
How you doing, Tom?

Not very well.

I tried to write a letterto my wife this morning.

I only got as far
as "Dear Marilyn."

Try "Darling,
I'm coming home."

She'll be thrilled.

How thrilled will she bewhen I tell her the rest?

Don't sell her short.

Captain, which one is"Straw, T.S., Lieutenant"?

Right here.

Movin' out, sir.

Movin' out.

I'd like you towrite to me, Hawkeye.

Only if you promise not
to send the letters
back corrected.

It's a deal.

I really want to knowhow things turn out for you.

Thanks.

Give my regards
to Mill Valley.

And remember me
to Union Square.

So long, guys.

-Bye.
-Bye-bye.

Bye.

Beej, let's get in thejeep and go for a ride.

-You drive.
-Hawkeye.

All right. I'll drive.

Look, will you settledown for five minutes?

Sit down.

I know what you'retryin' to do,

and I know how you feel.

No, I don't think you do.

You don't want to thinkabout what might happen,

so you keep running.

No, that's not it.
That's not it.

No. Look-look-look.
When Doctor Overman

comes in here
and unwraps my package,

I hope to God I'll have
my sight back, but--

Something fascinating's
been happening to me.

What's that, Hawk?

One part of the worldhas closed down for me,

but another part
has opened up.

Sure, I-I-I keep
picturing myself

sitting on a corner
with a tin cup

selling thermometers, but...

I'm going through somethinghere I didn't expect.

This morning I spent
two incredible hours

listening to that--
that rainstorm.

And I- And I didn't
just hear it.

I was part of it.

I'll bet you have no idea

that-- that rain
hitting the ground

makes the same sound
as steaks

when they're barbecuing.

Or that...

thunder seems to echo forever.

And you wouldn't believewhat-- how funny it is

to hear somebody slip
and fall in the mud.

I b-- It had to be Burns.

Beej, this is full
of trapdoors,

but I, uh...

I think there may almost be

some kind of advantagein this.

I've never spent a moreconscious day in my life.

All right, Pierce.

This area's been
deemed off-limits

to personnel
in your condition,

and I'm giving youone minute to clear out,

-starting now.
-Frank.

Fifty-five seconds
and counting.

Frank, do us
a favor and defect.

All right.
That's it, Mister.

No more chances. Orderly!

All right, Frank.
Here we go!

This is your one chance
for a fair fight.

Oh, you askedfor it, Pierce.

I can take you
with both eyes tied
behind my back.

-Easy, easy, easy!
-Who's this?

-It's me.
-Where's Frank?

Able! Nurse! Nurse Able!

Do me a favor. Get him
outta here, will you?

Say something, Frank,so I'll know where to spit!

Who's this?

Able, it's Able.

He's lucky
you stepped in.

You're lucky I didn'tlet him kill you.

Girls, we have company.

Oh, hi, Hawkeye.

At ease. Smoke 'em
if you got 'em.

Oh! Gotta be
Bigelow.

-How'd you know?
-Never mind.

What can we getfor you, Hawkeye?

I just had it a second ago.

Listen. Uh, could he come
back in a little while?

I was gonna undress
and take a shower.

Well, don't
let me stop you.

I won't see anything.

And you can throw me outif I so much as drool.

Go on.

That's one.

Well, I can't do it
with him in here.

Oh, come on, Lieutenant.He can't see anything.

Okay, Hawkeye,
but no more comments.

[humming striptease music]

It's no good.

D'you want more sax?

Oh, forget it, Hawkeye.
Come on.

You gotta get outta here.

Wait a second.Wait a minute.

Wait a minute,wait a minute.

Chopper's coming.

[chuckles]

It's a pleasure working
in here today, sir.

How so, Major?

Well, we're busy,
lots of casualties.

Terrific.

And no sign of Pierce.

[laughs]

Party's over, Frank.

Sir, isn't it
against regulations

to have a blind man
in surgery?

Ask Captain Pierce.

He's chief surgeon.

Be nice, Frank.

I'll let you sign my face.

[scoffs]

Boy here took a bulletin the abdomen.

Yeah? What are the damages?

Not too serious.

Lacerated iliac artery.

-Clamp.
-Clamp.

Wonder what the patientwould think if he woke up

and saw me standing over him.

He'd know he wasin the army.

-Clamp.
-Clamp.

Beej, you oughta
sit back sometime

and listen to the war.

It sounds as bad as it looks.

Are you ready
to close, Doctor?

Was that intestine perforated?

I'm getting
a whiff of bowel.

I ran it. It was okay,

but I wantedto check it again.

You're right.There's a small nick.

Who was that masked man?

HAWKEYE:
Indians lead it 5-4

in the bottom of the ninth.

One out, and the Yanks better get something going here.

-[imitating crowd noises]-Rizutto steps back in.

The pitch...
swung on and missed.

Strike two.

O and 2 to Rizutto.

Big Bob Lemon
goes into his windup.

-[imitating crowd noises]-Here comes the pitch.

-[knock]-Line drive! Base hit to left!

How about that!
Listen to that crowd!

-[imitating crowd noises]-It's 5-4, Indians.

One out in the
bottom of the ninth.

Coming up for the
Yankees, Gil McDougal.

Red Hots!Get your Red Hots!

Peanuts here! Goulash!

Here's the next pitch.
Swung on and missed.

Strike one.

The infield looks for a bunt.

What do you say, kid?
You and me now.

Here, burn it in.
Right in here.
Come on, baby.

Windup and the pitch.

Swing and a miss. Strike two.

[knock]

Wait a minute.
He caught part of it.

Ball rolls down to short.

Picked up, over to second, back to first.

Double play. Cleveland wins it 5-4.

That score again--Cleveland 5, Yankees 4.

That'll do it for tonight.

This is Bryan Moxey
signing off.

This program will be
repeated at 1200 hours

on the Armed Forces
Radio Network.

[playing tone]

Sorry I was late, Hawkeye.I couldn't get a chopper.

That's all right.I was just sitting around

listening to myself sweat.

Now, Hawkeye,
shade your eyes.

Now open them slowly.

Well?

Five, right?

Yeah. [chuckle]

They work.

[all congratulating]

MAN [on P.A.]: Here's the results of yesterday's game.

Yanks 8, Indians 1.

For those who'd
like to collect,

Major Burns is in post-op.

Well, that score
can't be right.

I listened to
the game and...

[quacking]

Major...

Frank, I want
my $10 now!

[all shouting]

Thanks.

-Thanks, Major.
-Thanks, Jim.

That compound is themost beautiful thing

I've ever seen.

Congratulations, Hawkeye.
You're a lucky guy.

Yeah, I got lucky twice.

First I got the chanceto see without my eyes,

and then I got 'em back.

FRANK:Aw, come on, you guys!

-Wait a minute!
-[shouting]

Nurses?

Hawkeye, what happened?

Temporary relapse.

They were working
okay this morning,

and then they went.

-[groaning]
-How awful.

Well, it's not permanent.

The, uh, the doctor saysthey'll be okay in a few days.

You poor guy.

Well, what can I
tell you, girls?

I need all the
sympathy I can get.

Well, is there
something we can do?

No, you just go ahead and dowhatever you were doing.

You know, uh, set your hair,

iron your undies,
get undressed.

Oh, isn't it awful?
A relapse.

Maybe we couldcure it.

How?

I don't think I
should have done that.

Out!

-Watch it! Watch it!
-Get him outta here!

Watch the eyes!

[all shouting]

[theme music playing]