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♪ It seems today
that all you see
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00:00:04,888 --> 00:00:08,189
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,593
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,946
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,250
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,453
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,104
♪ All the things that make us
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00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,890
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:29,861
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:39,949
Oh, hi, Bonnie.
What's up?
11
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,340
Hi, Lois, I hate to bother you,
12
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,810
but I'm going
out of town
for a few days
13
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,978
to visit my father
in the hospital.
14
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,425
I was hoping that
while I was gone,
15
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,632
you could look in
on Susie and Joe.
16
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,251
And go have sex with Quagmire.
17
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,463
Quagmire!
Quagmire!
18
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,320
Shucks, you can't blame
a guy for trying.
19
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,955
Giggity Giggity Giggity!
20
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:02,361
Well, of course, Bonnie.
I'd love to help.
21
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,028
Thank you so much, Lois.
22
00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:05,447
No problem.
23
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,567
Meg? Meg, sweetie?
24
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,284
Yeah, Mom?
25
00:01:10,353 --> 00:01:13,254
Bonnie wants you
to look after Susie and Joe
while she's out of town.
26
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,603
What? Why me?
I don't want to
have to do that.
27
00:01:16,627 --> 00:01:18,710
And Bonnie said
you are very pretty.
28
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,862
But I...
How did that come up?
29
00:01:20,931 --> 00:01:23,665
Oh! You know,
we were talking
about pretty people.
30
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:25,433
And I said Rachel Maddow,
31
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,820
and she kind of took
the baton from there
and said Meg Griffin.
32
00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:31,123
Who's Rachel Maddow?
33
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,791
A model.
Oh.
34
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,693
Yeah.
35
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,379
Okay, I'll do it.
36
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,045
Well, you said it
couldn't be done, Brian,
37
00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:46,938
but I created an exact
replica of the Raytheon
executive headquarters
38
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,341
in El Segundo, California.
39
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:53,011
Look at your fucking face.
I hope you like egg,
my friend.
40
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,415
Whoops!
41
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,818
Hey, excuse me, fella?
42
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,515
Yeah, what do you want, shrimp?
43
00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:04,005
Just a few moments
of your time. Hang on.
44
00:02:04,074 --> 00:02:06,424
Let me just get this
little guy assembled.
45
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:10,028
So where you from?
46
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,975
Newburyport.
What's it to you?
47
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,477
Oh, I'm just
always interested in
where people are from.
48
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,918
Everybody's got a story,
that's what I believe.
49
00:02:16,987 --> 00:02:18,987
All right, I think
we're all set here.
50
00:02:24,327 --> 00:02:26,862
Wow. Never seen
that happen before.
51
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:29,881
What the devil happened here?
I've assembled that rifle
a million times.
52
00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:31,594
Well, I don't know if
it's just the rifle.
53
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,263
What are you talking about?
54
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,198
Well, I mean, you weren't
exactly focused on
what you were doing.
55
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,233
Brian, if you've got
something to say to me...
56
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:39,207
All right, I think
you're going soft.
57
00:02:39,275 --> 00:02:41,353
I mean, when was
the last time you tried
to blow something up,
58
00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:44,128
or take over the world,
or even used the phrase,
"Damn you"?
59
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,792
Hey, I got a lot
on my plate, man.
60
00:02:45,816 --> 00:02:48,566
I'm learning
to use the toilet,
I'm learning what shapes are.
61
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,453
I spent half an hour laughing
at my own feet yesterday.
62
00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:53,772
Yeah, you're losing it, man.
You're losing your edge.
63
00:02:53,824 --> 00:02:55,552
Well, I don't care for your tone
64
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,321
and I'd say you deserve
a good kick in the...
65
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,845
Look! Brian,
look at them!
66
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,652
Come in.
67
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,738
Drop it, creep-o!
68
00:03:11,642 --> 00:03:14,392
Don't move, Catherine Deneuve!
69
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,062
Freezerino, Paul Sorvino!
70
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,824
What are you doing,
Mr. Swanson?
71
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:20,682
I'm trying out
some cop entrances.
72
00:03:20,751 --> 00:03:23,384
We all have to
come in with three
new ones on Monday.
73
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,893
What can I do for you, Meg?
74
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:28,656
Oh. Well, I'm here
to help you out
while Bonnie's gone.
75
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,324
Oh, great.
76
00:03:30,393 --> 00:03:33,261
Do you have any experience
helping out people
with special needs?
77
00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:36,481
Well, I did work for that
old lady down the street.
78
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,034
Meg, could you
come here, please?
79
00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:41,236
What is it?
80
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:44,172
Could you see
if I'm getting
a bed sore on my back?
81
00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:45,340
Sure.
82
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,021
It looks fine to me, ma'am.
83
00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:51,513
Thank you, dear.
I must have just
slept on it wrong.
84
00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:54,633
I stole Meg's cutaway.
85
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,718
What the hell is
going on in here?
86
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,955
Well, Brian, I thought about
what you said at the park,
and I've decided you're right.
87
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:09,013
I have gone soft.
I've lost my sadistic streak.
88
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,550
So I've built a concentrated
neural enhancement device,
89
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,785
designed to boost my evil side.
90
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,021
All right,
shall we take this
thing for a spin?
91
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,406
Now, when I say so,
hit that button.
92
00:04:21,445 --> 00:04:22,928
Okay, hit it.
93
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:39,661
Well, how do you feel?
94
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:42,197
I don't know.
I don't feel
any different.
95
00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,010
Well, why don't you
try insulting me?
96
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,801
Yeah, okay.
97
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,236
Sometimes you chase helicopters.
98
00:04:48,305 --> 00:04:49,348
That's kind of lame.
99
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,706
Yeah. Um...
100
00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,618
Besides, I do that
to protect the house.
101
00:04:52,642 --> 00:04:55,744
Helicopters
are going to hurt us,
and I make them stay away.
102
00:04:55,813 --> 00:04:58,930
You know what?
Didn't look at it that way.
Thank you for protecting us.
103
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,643
Look, your machine
obviously didn't work.
104
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,501
It just needs a few
adjustments, that's all.
105
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:06,054
Come on, help me get
some of Peter's tools
out of the gay-rage.
106
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:39,871
97, 98, 99, 100.
107
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,973
Thanks, Meg.
I really appreciate you
108
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:44,387
helping me out these
past couple of days.
109
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,189
Sorry I bit you yesterday.
110
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:50,498
That's okay. I guess
now I know not to get too
close to your bowl, right?
111
00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:52,167
Yeah.
112
00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:54,996
I know you're not
trying to hurt me,
but part of me doesn't know.
113
00:05:58,041 --> 00:06:00,158
Oh, my God,
is it 7:50?
114
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,721
Damn it, I missed the bus.
115
00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:04,295
Well, that's all right, Meg.
I can drive you to school.
116
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,764
That'd be great.
Thanks.
117
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:08,667
But before we go,
I got to make a stool.
118
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,302
Sometimes it needs
a little coaxing though.
119
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,982
There's some seed
in the kitchen.
120
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,385
Just put it in
a little pile
on the floor.
121
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:17,792
I'm gonna go get my books.
122
00:06:22,065 --> 00:06:24,499
So, how are your
academics going?
123
00:06:24,568 --> 00:06:25,967
Good. Real good.
124
00:06:26,035 --> 00:06:27,947
That Puerto Rican
street gang
give you any trouble
125
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,281
on your way home from school?
126
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,545
What Puerto Rican street gang?
127
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:31,807
You're welcome.
128
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:35,142
Hang on,
there's a red light.
Got to hit the brakes.
129
00:06:37,681 --> 00:06:43,167
So, I hear you teenage
girls are pretty
hot on that Nic Cage.
130
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,268
Er...
131
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,870
No, not really.
132
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,774
Okay.
133
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,154
Hey, can you tell me
what Lady Gaga is?
134
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:56,965
Is that a band,
or a soda, or a store,
135
00:06:57,034 --> 00:06:59,345
or one of those terms
like "donkey punch"?
136
00:06:59,369 --> 00:07:00,535
No.
137
00:07:00,603 --> 00:07:02,137
Is it a douche?
138
00:07:04,274 --> 00:07:06,069
Is Lady Gaga a douche?
139
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,659
I don't think so.
140
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:10,162
Well, whatever it is, I like it.
141
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,696
Green light.
142
00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,817
Is it hard being a paraplegic?
143
00:07:16,887 --> 00:07:18,603
Well, it's no picnic.
144
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,556
Unless your
version of a picnic
is being the basket.
145
00:07:21,624 --> 00:07:23,503
Well, you seem like you have
a good attitude about it.
146
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,261
Yeah, you know, it's like
we handicapped people say,
147
00:07:26,329 --> 00:07:29,864
"When life ruins
your legs, you just
got to make legonade."
148
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:31,560
I can sort of relate to that.
149
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:34,085
You know, sometimes
it's really hard being me,
150
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,321
and I guess
I just make Megonade.
151
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:39,357
That sounds disgusting.
All right, we're here.
152
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,610
This is my school.
153
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,874
Yeah,
isn't that where
you wanted to go?
154
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:49,367
Well, yeah, but most times
people just drop me off
a block away,
155
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:50,947
so they don't have
to be seen with me.
156
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,638
That's gay. I don't mind
being seen with you.
157
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,456
You don't?
Of course not.
158
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,192
Wow.
159
00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:59,727
Well, I better go.
I don't want to be tardy.
160
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:02,077
That's not going to happen
from missing one class.
161
00:08:02,132 --> 00:08:05,016
People are born that way.
Now run along,
or you'll be late.
162
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,715
Hey, who's that, your boyfriend?
163
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,176
Yeah.
164
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,611
Yeah, that's my boyfriend.
165
00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:19,964
Well, I'm happy for Meg.
166
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,777
Why, because she
finally has somebody?
167
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,935
No, because she
finally has some lines.
168
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,651
You know you're
my closest friend.
Really?
169
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,975
Yeah, we can't be
more than six inches apart.
170
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,106
The first one was enough.
171
00:08:41,804 --> 00:08:43,566
Meg, honey,
do you want
some breakfast?
172
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,957
I don't have time.
I have to get over
to the Swansons'.
173
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,837
You sure?
Aren't you hungry?
174
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,361
Thanks, Mom.
But I want to be there
when he first gets up.
175
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,296
He's so cute.
What?
176
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,365
I... Um...
177
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,535
I mean, she's so cute.
Susie.
178
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,153
She's all right.
179
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,323
Jesus, you scared me.
What happened
to your clothes?
180
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,608
Hey, what are you doing?
181
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,379
Ahhh!
182
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,052
Brian, have you seen...
183
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,987
Whoa, what the hell
happened to you?
184
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,211
Easy, easy, man, easy.
185
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,633
What the hell is your problem?
186
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:47,101
Me? What did I do?
187
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,715
You're the one going
all Michael Hutchence
over here.
188
00:09:48,739 --> 00:09:51,122
You just stay away from me,
you psychopath.
189
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,390
Hey. Ow!
190
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,870
Look, I don't know
what's going on here,
191
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,744
but don't be throwing things,
because that's just not safe.
192
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,665
What?
193
00:10:00,717 --> 00:10:02,717
Oh, my God.
194
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:04,919
Good Lord!
195
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:08,339
I am a genius.
196
00:10:08,391 --> 00:10:10,024
What is it?
197
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,710
Don't you see, Brian?
My machine did work.
198
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,113
It created an evil clone of me.
199
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,626
That's why I didn't
feel more evil.
200
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,427
All the evil energy
went into him.
201
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,251
Well, kill it. It almost
choked me to death.
202
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,121
I shall do
no such thing, Brian.
It must be studied.
203
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,802
If I can decode
the genetic puzzle
of this being,
204
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:30,277
perhaps I can determine
how to apply it to my own
neurological makeup.
205
00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:33,615
Evil Stewie, come with me.
We're going to run
a few tests on...
206
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,882
Ahhh!
207
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:47,962
Ahhh!
208
00:10:58,942 --> 00:11:00,141
Ahhh!
209
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:07,865
Meg, you're here early.
210
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,112
Oh, yeah,
I just wanted
to make sure
211
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,254
you got a nice hot breakfast
before you head off to work.
212
00:11:13,322 --> 00:11:15,973
Well, thanks.
What's with the getup?
213
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:19,510
Nothing. I just wanted
to look sexy for Susie.
214
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,096
How are your eggs, Joe?
215
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,716
If he doesn't say anything
about me calling him "Joe,"
216
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,812
that means we're truly in love.
217
00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:30,054
She just called me "Joe."
That's kind of weird.
218
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,790
But I'll just let it slide.
She's got nothing going on.
219
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,825
Besides, what harm could it do?
220
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,644
They're delicious, Meg.
Thanks.
221
00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:39,246
You're welcome, Joe.
222
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:41,165
Shit, I should have
said something.
223
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,885
He let me say it twice now.
It's like we're married.
224
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,782
This is Patrick Stewart.
225
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,023
How are you liking
the program so far?
226
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,541
What makes you think
we're gonna find
Evil Stewie here?
227
00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:58,249
Well, you recall that
boy who knocked over
my sand building.
228
00:11:58,317 --> 00:11:59,851
This is his house.
229
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,348
And since the clone
has the exact same
memories that I have,
230
00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:05,206
my guess is he'll show up
here to exact his revenge.
231
00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:07,475
Here he comes.
Get down.
232
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:14,682
He's in.
233
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,673
Hey. What are you
doing here, dork?
234
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,428
Hey, cut it out, man.
235
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:28,608
What's he doing?
236
00:12:28,632 --> 00:12:30,431
I don't know.
Just giving him a noogie.
237
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,700
Pretty harmless.
Maybe we misjudged.
238
00:12:32,769 --> 00:12:34,402
Wait. Why is his
knuckle getting red?
239
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,939
Oh, my God.
240
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:42,143
Hey. Enough. Stop.
241
00:12:42,212 --> 00:12:43,611
Here come the parents.
242
00:12:48,885 --> 00:12:51,252
That's an adult ear.
243
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,954
My God, Stewie,
we have to destroy that thing
244
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,783
or it's just gonna
keep killing people.
245
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,149
Oh, my God, a baby!
Are you okay?
246
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,182
Hi, honey.
247
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,946
What? What'd you say?
248
00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:20,448
I just said hi.
249
00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:23,784
Is that...
Is that Bonnie's dress?
250
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:27,788
Oh, yeah. Susie spit up on me,
and I didn't want to
go all the way home,
251
00:13:27,857 --> 00:13:30,625
so I just threw this on.
I hope that's okay.
252
00:13:30,693 --> 00:13:33,327
Yeah, it's fine, I guess.
253
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,436
Oh. Here's that
juice box you asked for.
254
00:13:35,498 --> 00:13:37,231
Thanks, Meg.
255
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,332
Oh, er...
256
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,845
What's wrong?
Nothing.
257
00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:42,737
It's just that I like
to put the straw in myself.
258
00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:45,839
Oh. I'm sorry. Here.
259
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:49,911
Yeah.
It's not the same now. I'll...
I'll just get another one.
260
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:54,181
I'll get it! Hello.
261
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,584
Hi, Meg. It's Bonnie.
How is everything going there?
262
00:13:57,653 --> 00:13:58,653
Great.
263
00:13:58,721 --> 00:13:59,787
Has Joe died?
264
00:13:59,855 --> 00:14:01,188
What? No.
265
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,623
That's good.
266
00:14:02,691 --> 00:14:05,226
I was just calling to tell him
my father is recovering well
267
00:14:05,295 --> 00:14:07,328
and the doctors
say he'll be fine.
268
00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:09,437
That's great.
I'll tell him.
269
00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:11,832
I'll be flying back
first thing in the morning.
270
00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:16,737
That's great, too.
Okay, bye, Bonnie.
See you tomorrow.
271
00:14:16,806 --> 00:14:17,922
Bye.
272
00:14:17,974 --> 00:14:19,174
Who was that?
273
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,675
Prank call.
274
00:14:21,744 --> 00:14:25,930
Yeah, I get a lot
of those. I can never
figure out who it is.
275
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,993
- Who is this?
- Wheely-wheely stupid head,
276
00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:29,428
bet you wish that you were dead.
277
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,363
Listen,
I don't know
who this is,
278
00:14:31,387 --> 00:14:33,987
but you better cut it out!
I'm a cop, you know!
279
00:14:34,056 --> 00:14:36,990
What, are you gonna report me
on your can't-walkie-talkie?
280
00:14:37,059 --> 00:14:39,059
I'm gonna hang up now.
281
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,774
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait!I got three more ofthese I wrote on a napkin.
282
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,364
All right, three more.
283
00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:41,233
Ma'am, is this your bag?
284
00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:43,691
I don't know how that
cocaine got in there.
285
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,060
Ma'am, this bag contains
a concealed weapon.
286
00:15:46,128 --> 00:15:47,973
I'm gonna have to
place you under arrest.
287
00:15:47,997 --> 00:15:51,149
Oh, my goodness,
how did that
get in there?
288
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,844
You're gonna have to
come with us, ma'am.
289
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,213
What happened to the coke?
290
00:15:54,237 --> 00:15:55,347
There's no coke in here.
291
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,871
Oh, fuck,
Ricardo's gonna kill me.
292
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:08,850
This is nice, Joe.
293
00:16:08,918 --> 00:16:12,787
A night out, a good dinner.
Thank you so much.
294
00:16:12,856 --> 00:16:14,350
Well, I wanted to do
something special.
295
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,619
Show you how much I appreciate
all the hard work
you've been doing.
296
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,076
It's been my pleasure.
297
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,845
So, listen, there's something
I wanted to talk to you about.
298
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,091
What's that?
299
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:25,783
Do you ever think
about having another baby?
300
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:28,853
I don't know.
I guess I'm open to it.
301
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:32,223
Really? Oh, that's great!
So, I'll get off the pill...
302
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,824
What do you mean?
303
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,676
Nothing. Nothing.
Forget it.
304
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:40,131
I... I think I'm just
a little scattered tonight.
I'm probably just PMS-ing.
305
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,749
Oh, grody.
306
00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:44,296
Hey, this is
supposed to be a fun night.
What's wrong with you?
307
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,253
You know, I could
ask the same of you.
308
00:16:46,322 --> 00:16:49,256
We haven't made
love in two weeks.
309
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:50,886
We haven't made love ever!
310
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,846
Great! Now you've
upset the baby!
311
00:16:59,636 --> 00:17:01,886
Oh, God!
312
00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:05,395
This feels right, but it
tastes like a dirty penny.
313
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,290
This is ridiculous.
Evil Stewie
could be anywhere.
314
00:17:11,314 --> 00:17:13,080
You know,
this really is
all your fault.
315
00:17:13,149 --> 00:17:14,948
If you hadn't told me
I was going soft,
316
00:17:15,017 --> 00:17:17,496
I wouldn't have
created Evil Stewie,
he wouldn't have escaped
317
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,598
and we wouldn't be trying
to track down a murderer.
318
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,240
For all we know he could be
killing someone
else right now.
319
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,708
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
320
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,193
Oh, yeah!
321
00:17:34,504 --> 00:17:36,537
Listen, guys,
I got something
to tell you.
322
00:17:36,606 --> 00:17:38,739
And I don't really know
how to break it to you,
323
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:41,408
so I'm just going to come
right out and say it.
324
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,310
Meg has a crush on me.
325
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:50,251
Oh, my God!
Get over yourself!
326
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,319
Well, look, all I'm saying is,
327
00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:55,723
I remember when Brian had
a similar difficulty with Meg.
328
00:17:55,792 --> 00:17:58,642
Maybe she's prone to quick
and severe infatuation.
329
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,439
Yeah, with a dog, not a cripple.
330
00:18:00,463 --> 00:18:01,979
Hey, easy there.
331
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,725
All right, look,
maybe I'm wrong.
332
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:07,151
Maybe I misread
a few of Meg's signals.
333
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,002
Sorry I bothered you.
334
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,186
Excuse me, Lois,
I have to go make
a phone call.
335
00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:18,524
Hey, wheely stupid head,
I heard you think Meg
likes you.
336
00:18:18,548 --> 00:18:21,749
Who is this?How are you gettingthis information?
337
00:18:24,721 --> 00:18:26,938
Oh, my God, Joe was here.
338
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,255
Yeah, he just left.
339
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:32,276
I know. I can feel him.
I can smell him.
340
00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:34,778
Mmm! I can taste him.
341
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:39,483
Okay, I get the smell part.
But, Meg, I think we have
to have a talk.
342
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:43,787
Sweetheart, you don't...
You don't have a crush
on Joe, do you?
343
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:44,976
Um...
344
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,407
I don't know.
345
00:18:46,475 --> 00:18:49,409
Oh, my God,
you do have
a crush on him.
346
00:18:49,478 --> 00:18:51,662
What, Mom?
Why shouldn't I like him?
347
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,998
When I'm with him,
he makes me happy.
348
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,816
And he needs me.
349
00:18:55,885 --> 00:19:00,471
Meg, you're fooling yourself.
It's classic Florence
Nightingale Syndrome.
350
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,651
You're taking care of him
and you're feeling a closeness
351
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,877
that you're misinterpreting
as a romantic connection.
352
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:09,196
But think about it, Meg.
You two
have nothing in common.
353
00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:12,866
You know, you're right, Mom.
I hear you loud and clear.
354
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,098
Ahhh!
355
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,870
Meg, what the hell did you do?
356
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,189
I made us the same, Joe.
357
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:40,044
We're exactly alike,
you and I.
Now we can be together.
358
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,473
My God,
we have to get you
to the hospital.
359
00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:53,957
No, but I mean
after soccer practice.
360
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,110
You got anything
planned for then?
361
00:19:57,179 --> 00:20:00,797
I mean, nothing, nothing.
Keep walking.
You don't know me.
362
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:10,107
The doctor says
you're going to be fine.
And your family's on the way.
363
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:13,077
But that was a crazy
thing you did, Meg.
364
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:18,382
I know. I'm... I'm so sorry.
I just wanted us to be closer.
365
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,934
Meg, I know you took
my gun from the drawer,
366
00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:23,687
I know you planted it
in Bonnie's luggage,
367
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,956
and I know that
you breast-fed Susie.
368
00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:28,292
I know 'cause I was there
when you did that,
369
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,160
and I know that
you know that I was there
370
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:34,098
but I just wanted
to bring it up again
because it was really weird.
371
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,227
I'm sorry,
Mr. Swanson.
372
00:20:36,251 --> 00:20:39,097
I guess I just thought
that if Mrs. Swanson
was out of the way,
373
00:20:39,121 --> 00:20:40,688
we could be together.
374
00:20:40,757 --> 00:20:42,973
Look, Meg, I do care for you,
375
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:47,261
but I care for you
like I would a niece or
a good friend's daughter.
376
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,763
I feel like such an idiot.
377
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:52,550
Don't. I'm lucky
to have you as a neighbor,
378
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:55,786
and even luckier
to have you as a friend.
379
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:59,122
Thanks. I'm lucky to have
you as a friend, too.
380
00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:03,544
When is Bonnie coming home?
I have to apologize to her.
381
00:21:03,613 --> 00:21:05,696
Well, you can
apologize right now.
382
00:21:05,748 --> 00:21:06,831
Hi, Meg.
383
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,449
Bonnie, I'm so sorry
I got you arrested.
384
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,102
No, it's all right, Meg.
385
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:15,372
Look, I was a teenage girl
with a crush at
one time myself.
386
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,291
I know sometimes
it makes you lose touch.
387
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,355
Thanks for being
so understanding.
388
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,424
I hope I didn't get you
into too much trouble.
389
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,948
I mean, you're not gonna go
to jail or anything, are you?
390
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,633
No, I'll be around.
391
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:30,337
I need these voice-over
checks to support
my gambling addiction.
392
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:37,578
Evil Stewie?
393
00:21:37,646 --> 00:21:39,091
Wherever you are,
if you can hear me,
394
00:21:39,115 --> 00:21:41,115
I'm completely
defenseless right now.
395
00:21:45,955 --> 00:21:48,104
Okay, there you are.
396
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:52,993
Well, this is a gift, Brian.
Thank you for making it
so easy.
397
00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:55,412
Hey, well, you know,
you're doing me a favor.
398
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,566
I've had enough.
I can't live with that
stupid family anymore.
399
00:21:58,634 --> 00:22:01,001
Do me a favor
and end it all
for me, will ya?
400
00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:03,187
Delighted to oblige, Brian.
401
00:23:18,548 --> 00:23:20,914
Oh, come on,
not this thing! Really?
402
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,833
Brian, it's me,
Stewie. Shoot him!
403
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:26,153
No! Brian, you know me.
Look at me. Shoot him.
404
00:23:26,239 --> 00:23:28,517
All right,
there's only one
way to settle this.
405
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,673
Look at your feet.
406
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,975
Why? They're just feet.
407
00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:35,112
What are they
doing down there?
They're like leg hands!
408
00:23:42,388 --> 00:23:43,687
Nice job, man!
409
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:44,756
Wow!
410
00:23:44,807 --> 00:23:46,235
That was really brilliant.
411
00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:48,726
Thanks. Just glad
this nightmare is over.
412
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:50,911
And I'm really glad
I didn't kill
the wrong Stewie.
413
00:23:50,980 --> 00:23:54,140
Yeah, me, too.
Hey, come on,
I'll take you home.
414
00:24:40,712 --> 00:24:41,792
English - US - Line 21
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