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♪ It seems today
that all you see
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00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:09,141
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,561
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:15,730
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:15,799 --> 00:00:19,217
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,387
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
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00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,167
♪ All the things
that make us
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00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,924
♪ Laugh and cry
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00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:30,862
♪ He's a family guy ♪
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00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,989
Ah! It smells
so good out here.
11
00:00:41,058 --> 00:00:43,692
You see, Peter?
This is a much better way
to spend a Sunday
12
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,493
than what you
dragged us to
last week.
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00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:48,175
Hey, if I'm
starring in a production
of Starlight Express,
14
00:00:48,199 --> 00:00:49,893
I want my whole family there.
15
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,401
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
16
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:55,036
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
17
00:00:55,105 --> 00:00:57,138
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
18
00:00:57,207 --> 00:00:59,308
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
19
00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:02,227
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
20
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:05,898
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
21
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:11,537
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
Starlight Express!
22
00:01:17,528 --> 00:01:19,745
Stewie, look! A butterfly.
23
00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:22,394
Let's get it!
24
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,746
Chris, I don't think
we should be
leaving the trail.
25
00:01:28,539 --> 00:01:32,307
I shall put you in
a glass box to display
on Saint Trimmings Day.
26
00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:35,777
Oh! British guys always
capture my butterflies.
27
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,957
Yes, and to add
insult to injury,
28
00:01:37,981 --> 00:01:39,959
I shall present to you my fanny.
29
00:01:39,983 --> 00:01:41,383
Sir Chadwell Heath.
30
00:01:45,321 --> 00:01:46,788
Oh, darn it.
31
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,140
Hey, wait a second.
Where are we?
32
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,743
Oh, no!
33
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:54,913
Hey, Chris, do you know
your bacne spells
"Citibank" in Braille?
34
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,620
Great. You had to
chase the butterfly.
35
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,055
Yes, I had to
chase the butterfly.
36
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,868
I came out here
to observe nature.
37
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,670
What did you come out here for?
38
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,456
I came to the woods
because I wished to
live deliberately,
39
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,714
and see if I could not learn
what it had to teach,
40
00:02:12,783 --> 00:02:17,269
and not, when I came to die,
discover that I had not lived.
41
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,332
Wow, Stewie.
That was beautiful.
42
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,156
Did you write that?
No.
43
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,841
But can you tell me who did?
44
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,076
Log on now.
45
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,115
All right, let's tally up
those responses.
46
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:34,152
Wow. You know who that is?
47
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,498
You know who Thornton Melon...
48
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:36,732
First of all,
it was Henry David Thoreau.
49
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,335
But do you know who
Thornton Melon is?
50
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:42,094
That was Rodney Dangerfield's
character in Back to School.
51
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,029
You feel good
about yourselves? Huh?
52
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:46,798
This is why
the other countries
are beating us, you know!
53
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,778
So you know,
you got only yourself
to blame
54
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,180
next time you go to
the vet and complain
55
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,770
that that Indian doctor
is too rough with your cat.
56
00:02:56,126 --> 00:02:59,411
Please, you gotta help us.
They've been lost for hours.
57
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,713
For God's sakes,
Stewie's only a baby.
58
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,160
A search party
is being organized
as we speak, ma'am.
59
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,361
But I'm afraid, at the moment,
60
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,785
I'm the only one on duty.
61
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,353
Oh, my God!
62
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,756
So, you're the only one
working these woods, huh?
63
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:11,957
Yes.
64
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,770
So, there's no other
guys like you out here?
65
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,326
Nope. It's just me.
66
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,597
And what would be
another way for
you to say that?
67
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,432
I'm by myself.
68
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,768
Maybe a more specific way.
69
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,337
I'm the lone ranger.
70
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:26,854
Yeah! You said it!
71
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,236
Hey, your name
wouldn't happen to
be Rick, would it?
72
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:31,404
No, it isn't.
73
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,188
It's just too much to ask.
Too much to ask.
74
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,800
Stewie, are we gonna die?
75
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,535
Hey, hey.
76
00:03:40,604 --> 00:03:41,870
Probably.
77
00:03:41,939 --> 00:03:43,888
I don't want to die!
78
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,774
There's so much
I have left to do.
79
00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:48,772
Yeah. You and me
both, man.
80
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,607
You know, Chris,
if by some miracle,
81
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,575
we do manage to get
out of here alive,
82
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,199
I'm gonna finally run
for public office again.
83
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,228
I think
people have forgotten
my last embarrassment.
84
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,523
Harry Truman. Stupid jerk.
85
00:04:02,592 --> 00:04:04,576
Freakin' FDR's assbitch.
86
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,278
If we get back home alive,
87
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,947
I'm gonna finally open up
to Ellen from my math class
88
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,582
and tell her
how much I like her.
89
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:13,185
I'd like those things
for us, Chris.
90
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,421
What are you doing?
91
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,567
I'm digging a hole.
92
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,623
Why?
93
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,052
'Cause I like to
sleep on my side.
94
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,250
Our top story.
95
00:04:29,319 --> 00:04:31,331
The searchfor two local boyslost in the woods
96
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,165
drags on into its third day.
97
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:36,123
That's right, Diane.Still no sign ofChris and Stewie Griffin.
98
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:37,970
Here's the update from
the local authorities
99
00:04:37,994 --> 00:04:39,961
who are overseeing
the search party's efforts.
100
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,697
We're still very optimisticthat we're gonnafind these kids,
101
00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:45,300
and we just want to urge
everyone not to give up hope.
102
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:48,870
All right, everyone,we are officiallylooking for corpses.
103
00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:50,938
Repeat, this is now
a recovery effort.
104
00:04:51,007 --> 00:04:52,940
We are officially
looking for corpses.
105
00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:55,893
So let's get back out there,
bring back those dead bodies.
106
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,980
Oh, God! This is horrible!
I can't watch anymore!
107
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,416
Mom, Daddy, thank you
so much for coming over.
108
00:05:01,484 --> 00:05:03,018
Oh, of course, dear.
109
00:05:03,086 --> 00:05:04,719
I don't know what to do.
110
00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:07,055
They scoured the area,
and there's no sign of them.
111
00:05:07,123 --> 00:05:09,090
I feel like I can't just
sit here doing nothing,
112
00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:10,692
but I don't know what I can do.
113
00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:12,672
I'll tell you
who could help. Medium.
114
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:14,195
Daddy, that's not a real person.
115
00:05:14,264 --> 00:05:15,931
That's a character on a TV show.
116
00:05:15,999 --> 00:05:18,733
Don't you disparage Medium.
Medium works very hard.
117
00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:21,130
You know, Mom,
I saw this thing on
the Discovery Channel
118
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,315
about psychics
who help find people
who are lost.
119
00:05:23,339 --> 00:05:24,439
Really?
120
00:05:24,508 --> 00:05:25,785
I saw this thing on
the Discovery Channel
121
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,575
about this fat woman
who sat on her dog
122
00:05:27,644 --> 00:05:29,410
and it went up inside her guts.
123
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:36,318
It's been three days,
and I just don't know
where else to turn.
124
00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:37,986
Please, can you help me?
125
00:05:38,055 --> 00:05:42,440
Don't worry, Lois.
The spirit world wants
very much to assist you.
126
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,943
Your missing sons will be found.
127
00:05:47,363 --> 00:05:49,964
Thank you.
Thank you so much!
128
00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:52,801
I can't tell you how
reassuring that is. Ah!
129
00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:55,603
My babies are okay.
130
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,490
Will you answer
one question for me?
131
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:00,826
Yes.
132
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:01,894
Thank you so much.
133
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:11,252
Well, Stewie,
I think we're finished.
134
00:06:11,321 --> 00:06:12,887
It sure looks that way.
135
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,490
I'm so hungry.
136
00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:21,263
Me, too.
137
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,037
It's been a pleasure
serving with you, Chris.
138
00:06:29,106 --> 00:06:31,289
And with you, Stewie.
139
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:35,210
Jeffrey! Jeffrey, come back.
It's gonna get dark soon!
140
00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:37,945
All this drama
over a turkey burger?
141
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:40,281
Oh, thank God!
142
00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:43,784
Oh, you're not Jeffrey.
You're that missing
baby and boy.
143
00:06:43,853 --> 00:06:46,988
Jeffrey! I found that
missing baby and boy!
144
00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:48,323
I don't care.
145
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:51,976
Mommy!
146
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,411
Chris! Stewie!
147
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,880
My babies!
148
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,398
Oh, I'm so happy you're safe!
149
00:06:57,467 --> 00:07:00,635
I knew they'd find you.
I knew you were okay.
150
00:07:00,703 --> 00:07:02,437
It's just like the psychic said.
151
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,589
Thank you all for
your help, everybody.
152
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:05,991
Oh, for definite.
153
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,104
It's just like
a childhood game
of Hide and Find!
154
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,305
You said it, friend!
155
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,640
What do you say for celebration,
156
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,508
we go dunk our whistles
in the trough?
157
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,666
Oh, we should
totally phone Gaspard!
158
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,846
Oh, he would love
to hear this tale!
159
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,672
Oh, but I only
have 15 pfennigs
on my phone card.
160
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,941
Happy Gerbitz Day.
161
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:34,202
Oh, it is so good
to have my boys back home
safe and sound.
162
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:35,870
Thank God for that psychic.
163
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,817
What are you talking about?
The psychic didn't
do anything.
164
00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:40,458
Well, she said we were
gonna find them and we did.
165
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,138
I always wondered
about psychics,
166
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,529
but I gotta tell you,
I'm a believer now.
167
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,043
Yeah, I'm gonna go back
and see what else
she has to say.
168
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,600
Hey, check it out.
Chris and Stewie,
169
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,308
you're on the front page
of the paper.
170
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,332
You know, Chris,
that girl from school
171
00:07:53,356 --> 00:07:54,956
sees that picture and you're in.
172
00:07:55,025 --> 00:07:57,202
Look, Stewie,
I'm not really
gonna ask her out.
173
00:07:57,226 --> 00:08:00,161
I think that just might
have been cocky forest talk.
174
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,797
No, but you got to
take advantage of this.
Seize your moment.
175
00:08:02,866 --> 00:08:04,649
Like the duck Founding Father.
176
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,585
Gentlemen, these are all
important fundamental rights,
177
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,865
but I move we strike
the right to bob
178
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,800
for small fish with
your butt in the air.
179
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,503
- All in favor?
- Aye.
180
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,404
Opposed?
181
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,628
The motion carries.
182
00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:21,761
I don't know about this, Stewie.
183
00:08:21,785 --> 00:08:24,218
Nonsense. You're a hero now.
Your picture's in the paper.
184
00:08:24,288 --> 00:08:26,488
She'll be
fawning all over you.
Now, which one is she?
185
00:08:27,523 --> 00:08:28,523
There.
186
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,561
Hi, Chris!
187
00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:35,480
Wait a minute.
That's the girl?
188
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,682
Yeah. Isn't she special?
189
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,395
That's the way
the state of Rhode Island
would put it.
190
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:42,754
There's something up
with her, isn't there?
191
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,800
Yeah. She's got
Down's Syndrome.
192
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:45,952
Oh, okay, well, there we go.
193
00:08:45,976 --> 00:08:47,325
She's so sweet.
194
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:50,195
And doesn't she have
the most beautiful eyes?
195
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,757
Well, the spacing
seems a tad off,
196
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,526
but, yeah, individually,
they're not awful.
197
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,283
All right, I'm on board.
Go talk to her.
198
00:08:56,586 --> 00:08:57,719
Um...
199
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,854
Hi, Ellen.
Hi, Chris.
200
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:03,257
Um. This is my
little brother Stewie.
201
00:09:03,327 --> 00:09:05,392
Your head makes me laugh.
202
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:08,941
I'm guessing this
one owned a bunny,
but not anymore.
203
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,366
Listen, there's something
I've wanted
204
00:09:12,435 --> 00:09:14,702
to tell you for
a really long time.
205
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,187
Oh, yeah? What?
206
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,872
Well, um,
207
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:19,707
I really like you.
208
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:22,510
And I was wondering
if maybe, um,
209
00:09:22,579 --> 00:09:24,324
you want to go out
on a date with me.
210
00:09:24,348 --> 00:09:26,314
You want me to be
your girlfriend?
211
00:09:26,382 --> 00:09:28,293
Shucks. I guess that's what
I'm driving at.
212
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,985
Okay. Pick me up
Saturday at 8:00.
213
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:33,254
Great. See you then.
214
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,301
There you go.
Being confident.
215
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:38,459
Like an Italian guy
in any given
theoretical situation.
216
00:09:38,528 --> 00:09:41,829
If that was me.
I'm just saying,
if that was me,
217
00:09:41,898 --> 00:09:43,931
they are lucky that was not me.
218
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,301
Because if
the circumstances were such
219
00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:49,270
as you have described them,
but with me in them,
220
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:52,740
that's a very
different and scary outcome
for those involved.
221
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:53,825
If.
222
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:59,530
Oh, my God, Brian.
Oh, my God!
223
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,076
Whoa. What is it?
What happened?
224
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,346
I just went to see
my psychic Estelle,
and she told me
225
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,271
that Stewie is gonna grow up
to be very successful.
226
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,105
Ah! Isn't that great news?
227
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,785
You went to see
that psychic again?
228
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,120
That's the third time this week.
229
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,144
She's a lifesaver, Brian.
230
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:15,079
She gives me
the confidence
to live my life
231
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,098
knowing I'm making
the right choices.
232
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,361
Wow, and she does
all this for free?
233
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:20,919
No, she charges me.
234
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,268
She charges you?
Well, that's weird.
235
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,235
Why would you pay her
to hear things
you want to hear?
236
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,426
I'm not crazy
about your tone, Brian.
237
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:30,506
Well, I just think
you're being sold
a bill of goods.
238
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,563
Brian, I don't care
what you think.
239
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,998
And for your information,
240
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,384
there are gonna be
some changes around here.
241
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,472
Mom, why do I have
to take a bath with Stewie?
242
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,342
Because, Meg, Estelle told me
that someone in the family
243
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,022
was in danger of
drowning and that
244
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,857
I should take some
steps to prevent it.
245
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,648
So, from now on,
everybody has a bath buddy.
246
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,678
Hey, Meg, watch.
247
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,080
What am I gonna do?
248
00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:08,527
I'm really nervous
about my date
with Ellen tonight.
249
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:10,968
I mean, I want to impress her,
250
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,515
but what if I mess things up?
251
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,883
Come on, Chris,
it's just a matter
252
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,267
of getting off
on the right foot.
253
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,493
First things first.
Let's get you looking sharp.
254
00:11:22,132 --> 00:11:23,926
♪ You've got to look
your best tonight
255
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,717
♪ You tubby little parasite
256
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:29,437
♪ 'Cause there's a lovely lady
and she's waiting for you
257
00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:31,433
♪ And though her
pretty face may seem
258
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:33,202
♪ A special person's
wettest dream
259
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:36,811
♪ Before you get to see it
there are things you must do
260
00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:40,265
♪ We'll try a tie and
boutonniere of yellow
261
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:44,001
♪ Or a rose that shows
that you're a classy fellow
262
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:48,189
♪ With the posh panache
of Jefferson at Monticello
263
00:11:48,258 --> 00:11:51,543
♪ Busting out
a mile with style
264
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,861
♪ I know you just can't wait
to stare at all
265
00:11:53,929 --> 00:11:55,263
♪ that luscious orange hair
266
00:11:55,332 --> 00:11:58,867
♪ But, boy, before
you touch a single curl
267
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:01,970
♪ You must impressthat ultra-boomin',all-consumin'
268
00:12:02,038 --> 00:12:08,176
♪ Poorly groomin'
Down's Syndrome girl
269
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:11,930
♪ On any normal day you reekAs if you're ona farting streak
270
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:15,582
♪ Your finger's up your noseand you are drippingwith drool
271
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,597
♪ But if you want
a lady's love
272
00:12:17,621 --> 00:12:19,565
♪ You're better off
by smelling of
273
00:12:19,589 --> 00:12:22,940
♪ A gentleman's cologne
instead of sneakers and stool
274
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:26,227
♪ A squirt, a spurt
Of somethin' just for Ellen
275
00:12:26,296 --> 00:12:29,997
♪ And you'll see that she
will find you so compellin'
276
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:34,168
♪ And she does becausethe only smell thatshe'll be smellin'
277
00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:37,188
♪ Won't be coming
from your bum
278
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,935
♪ You wanna take
that little whore
279
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,620
♪ And spin her on
the dancing floor
280
00:12:41,644 --> 00:12:45,079
♪ But, boy,
before you do a single twirl
281
00:12:45,147 --> 00:12:49,100
♪ You mustimpress that effervescingself-possessing, no BS-ing
282
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:53,004
♪ Down's Syndrome girl
283
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:02,213
♪ Her eyes
are emerald portals
284
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,383
♪ To a secret land of love
285
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:11,005
♪ And they seem to say
"We'll open just for Chris"
286
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,893
♪ They shine
like sunny weather
287
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:20,647
♪ And they're
close enough together
288
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:23,718
♪ That if theyshould so desireto create a little fire
289
00:13:23,787 --> 00:13:26,971
♪ They couldreach across her noseand give each other a kiss
290
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,770
♪ My boy,
between the two of us
291
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:06,605
♪ We'll get you
on that shorty bus
292
00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:10,231
♪ and then you're
gonna take it for a whirl
293
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,199
♪ Now go impress
that super-thrilling
294
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,146
♪ wish-fulfilling,
Yoo-hoo spilling
295
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:17,271
♪ Ultra-swinging,boner-bringing gaily singing,ding-a-linging
296
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:20,325
♪ Stupefying, fortifying
as of Monday, shoelace tying
297
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:23,110
♪ Stimulating, titillating
kitty-cat impersonating
298
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:24,590
♪ Mega-rocking,
pillow-talking
299
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,924
♪ just-a-little-crooked
walking
300
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,159
♪ Coyly pouting,
booby-sprouting
301
00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,693
♪ For some reason,
always shouting
302
00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:34,022
♪ Fascinating, captivating
happiness-and-joy creating
303
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:37,675
♪ Down's Syndrome girl! ♪
304
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,714
What the hell?
305
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:46,183
Lois, did you put
this muzzle on me
while I was sleeping?
306
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:49,465
Yeah, sorry, Brian.
My psychic warned me you
were gonna bite somebody,
307
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,067
and I didn't want
to see that happen.
308
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,691
Okay, that's it.
This psychic nonsense
has gone way too far.
309
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,338
What do you mean "nonsense"?
310
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:58,212
Lois, there is no such thing
as a person who is psychic.
311
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,025
And though it's tempting
to want to believe
312
00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:01,627
in something that
brings you comfort,
313
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,884
the reality is you're
just being totally naive.
314
00:15:03,953 --> 00:15:06,187
Brian, of course you don't
believe in psychics.
315
00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:09,335
Your cynicism prevents
you from ever being
in a receptive state.
316
00:15:09,359 --> 00:15:11,003
Look, I'll prove to you
what I'm saying, all right?
317
00:15:11,027 --> 00:15:12,393
Let me read you your horoscope.
318
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:14,879
"You have a very
strong emotional nature.
319
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,681
"You are riding
the crest of a wave
of good energy today
320
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:18,961
"and you ought to be able to get
321
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,185
"your friends to see
how things ought to be.
322
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,948
"You're on the ball
and you know it."
323
00:15:22,972 --> 00:15:25,222
There you go.
You just proved my point.
324
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,024
That's 100% accurate.
325
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:30,361
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're a Sagittarius
and I was reading Capricorn.
326
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,013
And that last sentence
was just a panel
from Doonesbury.
327
00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:34,798
I hate that strip.
328
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,845
There ain't nothing funny
about four pictures
of the Capitol Building
329
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,136
and all that writing.
330
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,965
What's your point, Brian?
I'll tell you what, Lois.
331
00:15:39,989 --> 00:15:42,635
Meet me at the park later
and I'll show you
what I'm talking about.
332
00:15:42,659 --> 00:15:44,792
And you'll see you're
being taken for a ride,
333
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,944
like a snail on
the back of a turtle.
334
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,848
Slow down!
I want to get there,
335
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,717
but I want to get there alive!
336
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,988
Okay, Brian, I'm here.
337
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,073
Show me whatever it is
you want to show me.
338
00:15:59,142 --> 00:16:00,569
All right, Lois.
I'm going to prove
339
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:01,971
that with the most
minimal training
340
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,371
and the right set of buzzwords,
341
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:04,974
anyone can appear to be psychic.
342
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,776
Even a complete
boob like Peter.
Watch this.
343
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,419
Excuse me, ma'am.
I'm psychic, and I'm getting
a strong feeling from you.
344
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:14,422
Do you have a watch or clock
that no longer works?
345
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:17,525
Wow. I used to have
a watch that broke.
346
00:16:17,594 --> 00:16:19,960
You see, just by asking
very general questions
347
00:16:20,029 --> 00:16:21,440
that would apply to most people,
348
00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:24,398
a person can appear to have
inside knowledge about you.
349
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,868
I'm also sensing
that you have
a dead relative.
350
00:16:26,936 --> 00:16:28,947
My husband died
of cancer last year.
351
00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:32,106
Oh, my God! Awesome.
Okay, I'm sensing
some other bad stuff.
352
00:16:32,174 --> 00:16:33,952
My daughter was
just in an accident.
353
00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:35,209
Sweet! High-five!
354
00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:36,844
You're awful.
355
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,774
Hey, you don't want
to hear the truth,
don't come to the park.
356
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:42,417
Okay.
Okay, you made your point.
I get it.
357
00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:44,351
Maybe I went a little overboard
358
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:45,920
with the things Estelle told me.
359
00:16:45,988 --> 00:16:47,789
All right, look,
can we just go home now?
360
00:16:47,857 --> 00:16:49,073
Come on, Peter, let's go.
361
00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:51,275
Brian, I felt something.
362
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,556
Just now,
talking to that
bitch cancer widow.
363
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,247
I think I may have a gift.
364
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,660
Peter, we were just doing
a demonstration...
365
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,817
No, Brian. This is real.
366
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:02,253
I believe I am psychic.
367
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,965
My first prediction, I am either
368
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:06,349
going to fly or ruin
that family's picnic.
369
00:17:07,577 --> 00:17:09,710
Hey! You've ruined
our picnic!
370
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:10,911
Psychic.
371
00:17:18,654 --> 00:17:20,499
Peter, what are
you doing?
Quiet, Brian.
372
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:22,407
I'm performing
a psychic reading.
373
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,708
Peter, for the last time,
you're not psychic.
374
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,377
I most certainly am.
375
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,107
All right, Quagmire,
clear your mind...
Ooh. Soft hands.
376
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,800
Clear your mind,
remove all traces
of unease and doubt,
377
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,988
and I will tell you your future.
378
00:17:35,605 --> 00:17:37,271
What is it, Peter?
379
00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:40,891
You will die in a plane crash
and be reincarnated
as a prophylactic.
380
00:17:42,679 --> 00:17:43,679
All right!
381
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:45,530
No, no, not all right!
382
00:17:49,185 --> 00:17:51,235
Well, I'm glad we're
finally going out, Ellen.
383
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,637
I've really liked you
for a long time.
384
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,173
Hey, what the hell
you think you're doing?
385
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,275
Sitting down.
386
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,088
Get up and pull
my chair out for me.
387
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:02,280
Oh, goodness, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
388
00:18:02,865 --> 00:18:04,025
That's better.
389
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:07,652
You going to be
this rude all evening?
390
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,254
You haven't asked me
anything about myself.
391
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:11,556
Oh! Um.
392
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,358
Sorry. So, what
do your parents do?
393
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,493
That's better.
394
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,794
My dad's an accountant,
395
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,831
and my mom
is the former
governor of Alaska.
396
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,015
Oh, that's cool.
397
00:18:21,084 --> 00:18:22,383
It's real cool.
398
00:18:22,451 --> 00:18:25,953
Now, get up,
come over here and give me
a shoulder massage.
399
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,705
Okay.
400
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,791
Boy, you're tougher
than a doggy dominatrix.
401
00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:33,044
Do it, do it.
Come on, do it. Do it.
402
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:38,182
Ah! Yes! Yes, you bitch.
403
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,299
Ah!
404
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,491
Oh, my God, this is awful.
There's got to be
200 people here.
405
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,685
Thank you.Thank you so much for coming.Thank... Hold on.
406
00:18:57,753 --> 00:19:00,171
I'm sensing something psychic.
407
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:02,006
Ma'am, did you
have a female relative
408
00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:04,008
who's passed on to
the other side named...
409
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,610
Um... Um...
410
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,719
Polly?
Polly! I said it first.
411
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,197
That was amazing.
412
00:19:10,265 --> 00:19:12,450
I've never seen
a bad show at the Marriott.
413
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,614
Oh, my God!
They're all falling
for this insanity.
414
00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:18,050
I'm sensinga black guy over here.Is there a black guy?
415
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,723
Me! I'm a black guy.
416
00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:22,843
Yes, good, good.
417
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,157
I'm sensing yourinfant daughterhas earrings.
418
00:19:25,181 --> 00:19:26,664
He's right. She does.
419
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,712
Peter, you got to
stop this right now.
420
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,015
Shut up, Lois.Don't mess upmy psychic-ness.
421
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,817
I'm sensinga doctor in the audience.Where is the doctor?
422
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,291
I'm a doctor.
423
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,722
Okay. Your great grandmother
is contacting me right now,
424
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,006
and she wants
to know if this rash
425
00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:42,625
looks like
it's going to go away.
426
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,816
Well, I guess
I'd tell her
to use Bactine.
427
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,169
No! She says Bactine hurts.
428
00:19:48,237 --> 00:19:49,957
She wants
something more soothing.
429
00:19:51,507 --> 00:19:53,023
Peter, we need your help.
430
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,520
We just got word
of a kidnap victim
buried alive
431
00:19:55,544 --> 00:19:57,511
with a bomb
strapped to his chest.
432
00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:01,315
We need your psychic powers
to lead us to him before
the bomb goes off.
433
00:20:01,383 --> 00:20:04,768
Well, well. Finally,
a true test of my abilities.
434
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,353
You came to
the right place, Joe.
435
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,022
I'll psych that guy out for you.
436
00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:09,573
Peter, you can't do this.
437
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,008
All right, I mean,
it's one thing
438
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,454
to take money from
a bunch of suckers,
439
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:13,977
but this is serious.
You're a fraud.
440
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,112
I am not.
441
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,614
I'll tell you
who's a fraud. Mr. Spock.
442
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,578
Mr. Sulu,
set a course for...
One moment, Captain.
443
00:20:19,602 --> 00:20:21,513
They're about to announce
the winning numbers
444
00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:23,148
for the Intergalactic Lottery.
445
00:20:23,172 --> 00:20:24,399
Today's winning numbers
446
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:28,709
are 18, 24, 41 and 72.
447
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,613
Yes! You're damn right!
Hell, yeah!
448
00:20:33,682 --> 00:20:35,082
You can suck it!
449
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:38,279
You can suck it!
You can suck it!
You can all suck me!
450
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,753
Live long and suck it!
451
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:46,377
Well, Ellen, I had
a really interesting time
with you tonight.
452
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:47,686
I guess I'll talk to you soon.
453
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,179
You're not leaving yet.
454
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,583
I need somebody to make me
an ice cream sundae.
455
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,051
So, get in the house.
456
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,486
Okay, okay.
457
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,893
Unless you're
going to pull a sundae
out of your belly button,
458
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,997
I'd get your ass in
the fucking kitchen.
459
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:09,000
Oh, boy. My dogs
are mooing today.
460
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,319
No, no, no, no, no, no.
461
00:21:12,388 --> 00:21:13,565
What's the matter?
462
00:21:13,589 --> 00:21:16,223
Did I say, "Put chocolate
sauce on there"?
463
00:21:16,292 --> 00:21:19,026
Did you hear me say,
"Put chocolate
sauce on there"?
464
00:21:19,095 --> 00:21:20,305
Well, I just thought that...
465
00:21:20,329 --> 00:21:21,595
You thought what?
466
00:21:21,664 --> 00:21:24,398
You know, if you want
access to this temple,
467
00:21:24,466 --> 00:21:26,567
you better pay
the proper tribute.
468
00:21:26,635 --> 00:21:28,202
All right, that is it!
469
00:21:28,271 --> 00:21:30,511
I don't care how hot you are.
470
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:32,940
I don't much like
being treated this way.
471
00:21:33,009 --> 00:21:35,671
You know, I used
to hear that people
with Down's Syndrome
472
00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,939
were different
than the rest of us,
but you're not.
473
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,408
You're not different at all.
474
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:42,733
You're just
a bunch of assholes
like everyone else!
475
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:46,387
I got bad news
for you, buddy.
You just blew it.
476
00:21:46,456 --> 00:21:48,389
Get out of my house now!
477
00:21:53,963 --> 00:21:55,046
How'd it go?
478
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:57,042
Looks like I totally
screwed that up.
479
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,915
No, you didn't.
You made a vow that you
480
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:00,963
were going to ask
Ellen out, and you did.
481
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,503
That took courage, my friend.
482
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:05,639
Especially for a poor,
timid sap like you.
I'm proud of you.
483
00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:07,024
Thanks, Stewie.
484
00:22:07,093 --> 00:22:09,237
I'm just sorry
I never got to
make out with her.
485
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,311
She would have
crushed your scrota
into a diamond
486
00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:12,457
with her robot-strength hand.
487
00:22:12,481 --> 00:22:14,782
Come on, let's get out of here.
488
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:19,786
All right, Peter,
we know the victim is
somewhere in this area.
489
00:22:19,855 --> 00:22:21,533
We don't have much time
before the bomb...
490
00:22:22,658 --> 00:22:23,969
Okay, Joe, when I'm
tracking someone,
491
00:22:23,993 --> 00:22:25,270
it often helps
to touch something
492
00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:26,572
that belongs to the victim.
493
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,562
Does he have a wife?
Yeah.
494
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,901
Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
495
00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:38,105
Uh-huh.
It's still very fuzzy.
Does he have a daughter?
496
00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:40,885
Yeah, I see.
Does he have maybe,
497
00:22:40,909 --> 00:22:42,254
like a thinner, hotter daughter?
498
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:44,011
Well, yes, but she's only 12.
499
00:22:44,079 --> 00:22:45,979
Okay, like a young 12,
500
00:22:46,048 --> 00:22:47,526
or like a "She eats
a lot of milk products
501
00:22:47,550 --> 00:22:48,994
"so she got her boobs early" 12?
502
00:22:49,018 --> 00:22:50,162
Which is a real thing,
by the way.
503
00:22:50,186 --> 00:22:51,585
Peter, we're running
out of time!
504
00:22:51,654 --> 00:22:53,215
All right, all right,
we'll try something else.
505
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:57,441
I will now use
my psychic powers
to seek help from beyond.
506
00:22:57,510 --> 00:23:00,210
I shall now channel
the ghost of Lou Costello,
507
00:23:00,279 --> 00:23:02,519
who will guide us to
this soul in distress.
508
00:23:04,367 --> 00:23:05,944
Hi, everybody.
It's me, Lou Costello.
509
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,579
All right, what's the name
of the guy we're looking for?
510
00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:09,769
Well, he's an Asian fella.
Melvin Hu.
511
00:23:09,838 --> 00:23:11,016
That's what I
want to find out.
What?
512
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,451
The name of the guy.
Melvin Hu.
513
00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:14,019
Are you a cop?
You handling this case?
Yeah. Yeah.
514
00:23:14,043 --> 00:23:15,120
Then what's
the name of the guy?
Hu.
515
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:16,188
The guy we're looking for.
Hu.
516
00:23:16,212 --> 00:23:17,289
The guy who's buried.
Hu.
517
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,357
The guy with the bomb.
Hu.
518
00:23:18,381 --> 00:23:19,621
What street's he live on?
First.
519
00:23:22,951 --> 00:23:24,351
Yeah, I'm not psychic.
520
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:02,554
ENGLISH - US - LINE 21
41023
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