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♪ It seems today
that all you see
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00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:09,174
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:12,594
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:12,663 --> 00:00:15,764
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:19,151
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:22,487
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,117
♪ All the things
that make us
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00:00:24,141 --> 00:00:25,857
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:30,962
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,593
Oh, it sure was nice
of you to invite us out
11
00:00:45,663 --> 00:00:47,195
on your yacht,
Mr. Pewterschmidt.
12
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,609
It's not a boat,
it's a yacht!
Oh, I'm sorry.
13
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,427
I thought you said
it was a boat.
14
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:54,197
This thing is great.
Bet you could sail it
all the way to the Caribbean.
15
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,915
Hey, American women,
16
00:00:55,939 --> 00:00:57,717
when was the last
time you were raped,
17
00:00:57,741 --> 00:00:59,852
murdered,
and stuffed in
a lobster pot?
18
00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:01,687
Well, what you waiting for?
19
00:01:01,711 --> 00:01:05,013
Come to the Virgin
Dutch Front Saint Port
Croix Lucia Antilles.
20
00:01:05,081 --> 00:01:07,293
It's only a hop, skip,
and a small plane ride
21
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,028
that scares you
something terrible.
22
00:01:09,052 --> 00:01:11,486
Hungry sharks,
strong, rapey men,
23
00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:14,556
and them silverfish
that you step on and scream.
24
00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:17,592
With money so colorful,
you forget that
it's worthless!
25
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,821
So, bring your big
white ass down here.
26
00:01:19,864 --> 00:01:22,064
♪ Come to the island
where I live
27
00:01:22,132 --> 00:01:25,092
♪ And you gota pretty good chanceTo make it home ♪
28
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,839
Wow, it's beautiful down there.
29
00:01:30,908 --> 00:01:33,875
I just can't believe it
really looks like this.
30
00:01:33,944 --> 00:01:38,029
Boy, the fish tank at
daycare really nailed it.
31
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,298
Lois, are you feeling all right?
32
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,517
I'm just a little
seasick, that's all.
33
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,874
Oh, my God!
Brian's eating it.
34
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,458
Boy, that's a lot of puke, Lois.
35
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,861
I ain't seen that much puke
since my bachelor party.
36
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:54,712
Your what?
My bachelor party.
37
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,847
What's that?
38
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:56,959
You don't know what
a bachelor party is?
39
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,361
No!
When you got married,
40
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,463
didn't you have,
like, a bachelor party
with all your friends?
41
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,686
My what?
42
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,500
Oh, my God.
Well, we are
gonna fix that.
43
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,691
Carter, I am gonna throw you
the best bachelor party ever!
44
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,870
Why would you do that?
45
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,272
'Cause I'm your pal
and I want to help.
46
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,629
Like Cheeseburger Helper.
47
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,697
Hey there, Peter!
48
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,877
How would you like to take
a half a pound of hamburger
49
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,769
and make a delicious meal
for the whole family?
50
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,632
Sure!
Okay, then let's...
51
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:24,008
Hold on there, Peter!
I've got
something even better!
52
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,977
Oh, really?
You bet.
53
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,280
How would you like to take
a half-pound of hamburger
54
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:33,218
and make a delicious
meal for the whole
family with cheese?
55
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,086
What?
56
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,155
I don't...
I could just take cheese
57
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,468
and put it on the
thing he's doing.
58
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,492
No! It won't
be the same!
59
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,639
Look, he's my brother.
He didn't get
enough oxygen at birth.
60
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,942
He's never gonna
be quite in step
with the rest of us,
61
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:48,206
and this is sort of my way
of taking care of him.
62
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,485
Well, that's nice of you,
but it was so much simpler
63
00:02:50,554 --> 00:02:52,265
when it was just you
and me doing our thing.
64
00:02:52,289 --> 00:02:54,100
I know, but just
let him have this one.
65
00:02:54,124 --> 00:02:57,103
Odds are he won't
even come back
with the actual food.
66
00:02:57,127 --> 00:02:59,527
Okay, Cheeseburger Helper,
you're on!
67
00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:03,431
Yay! Cheese,
cheese, cheese! Yay!
68
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:07,069
I'm so sorry for your burden.
You're a good brother.
69
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,215
So, what do you think, Carter?
You having a good time?
70
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,280
I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to do
with myself.
71
00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:20,682
I'm very uncomfortable.
72
00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,868
Why don't you get
a lap dance,
Mr. Pewterschmidt?
73
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,370
No, Peter's crippled friend,
I think I'm just gonna leave.
74
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,738
This was a stupid idea.
75
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,951
Oh, come on,
you just gotta relax
and cut loose,
76
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,820
like those
foreign guys
over there.
77
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,195
I can't believe
I'm back at the horse.
78
00:03:33,263 --> 00:03:36,898
I had many drinks
last night and I was
so hung out this morning.
79
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:40,568
Me, too, friend.
I was blowing
chinks like crazy.
80
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,137
When I finally
returned to sleep,
81
00:03:42,206 --> 00:03:44,539
the waste man came
right outside my window.
82
00:03:44,608 --> 00:03:47,542
Well,
I'll tell you this, Tonick,
a little hair from the dog
83
00:03:47,611 --> 00:03:49,478
is just what
the doctor ascribed.
84
00:03:49,546 --> 00:03:51,346
I hear you, friend.
85
00:03:51,415 --> 00:03:54,849
Now, let's sit on
chairs next to each other
and get dick dances.
86
00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:56,534
Boy, this is fun, eh?
87
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,181
Except for the fact
we gotta sit
next to that woman
88
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,749
who came with her co-workers.
89
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,368
Aren't we all pals?
90
00:04:01,392 --> 00:04:03,825
I work at the office.
This is empowering.
91
00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:05,438
Maybe I'll get a dance, huh?
92
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,474
You guys are probably
gonna be talking about
this forever.
93
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:10,815
A woman who's so cool
with all of this? Jackpot!
94
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,462
All right, here's
a cute-looking one.
95
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:15,686
Excuse me, miss?
This older gentleman
would like a lap dance.
96
00:04:18,108 --> 00:04:19,407
What am I supposed to do?
97
00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:21,320
Nothing.
You just sit there
and enjoy yourself.
98
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:24,212
Do I...
Do I stick the money
directly inside of her?
99
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:26,091
No, you do not.
Why, have you
done that before?
100
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,161
Doesn't go over.
When do I hit her?
101
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,753
For crying out loud,
just drink this.
102
00:04:31,822 --> 00:04:36,290
And you,
give this old bastard
the ride of his life.
103
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,420
Yeah!
104
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,459
All right, go, Carter!
105
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,162
Get some!
Get some!
106
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,458
Hey, Joe, that's, like,
right in my fucking ear.
107
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,466
Look, I...
Stop it! Peter, I...
108
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,967
Whoa!
109
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:49,604
Boy, she's bendy!
Wow! Yes!
110
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:52,006
Awesome! All right!
111
00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:54,776
Oh!
112
00:04:54,845 --> 00:04:56,405
Oh, my God!
What's happening to him?
113
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,697
I'm having a heart
attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!
114
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,765
You ought to know by now!
115
00:05:03,587 --> 00:05:04,781
Oh, my God!
116
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,306
Is my father gonna
be okay, Dr. House?
117
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:09,169
He's in a coma,
Mrs. Griffin,
118
00:05:09,193 --> 00:05:12,727
and listening
to the sound of your voice,
I'd say he's the lucky one.
119
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,997
Oh, dear!
I do hope there's
something to be done.
120
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,317
Dr. House, if you're
gonna save this patient,
you'll need this.
121
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:24,639
Get this thing out of my sight!
122
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:26,435
But wait a second!
How are you gonna
play by the rules
123
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,193
if you don't have
the rule... Oh!
124
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:32,263
My methods are a little
unorthodox, Mr. Griffin.
125
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,065
I think I can help.
126
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,867
What are you doing?
My job.
127
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,815
Sometimes people
fake being in a coma.
This man's not.
128
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,950
Unless, of course,
the first punch
knocked him out,
129
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,403
in which case
we won't know
for some time.
130
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,642
House.
131
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:45,827
Roadhouse.
132
00:05:45,896 --> 00:05:47,096
That, too.
133
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,644
Any word on Carter's
condition yet?
134
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:55,170
No, it's been three days,
and I'm really starting to
get worried.
135
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,339
What if he's in
a coma for, like,
20 years
136
00:05:57,407 --> 00:05:59,741
and he comes out of the coma
and you guys are all dead,
137
00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:02,577
but I'm still alive
and I'm a famous
racecar driver,
138
00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:05,713
and he's like, "Oh, man,
Stewie turned out awesome!"
139
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,182
And he comes to one of my races,
140
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,584
and I'm so surprised
to see him there, I crash,
141
00:06:09,653 --> 00:06:11,620
and then I'm in
a coma for 20 years,
142
00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:13,988
and I wake up and
he's a racecar driver.
143
00:06:14,057 --> 00:06:16,169
Stewie, do you want
to be a racecar driver
when you grow up?
144
00:06:16,193 --> 00:06:18,126
Well, gosh, if you
think I'd be good at it.
145
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:24,532
Hello, Mrs. Griffin,
I'm Kenneth Gould,
Mr. Pewterschmidt's attorney.
146
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,385
I'd like to talk to you
about a few things.
147
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:28,614
As part of
Mr. Pewterschmidt's
estate planning,
148
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,457
he has left video wills
applicable to a wide
variety of situations.
149
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,489
Hello. If you're
watching this,
150
00:06:36,513 --> 00:06:38,658
it means theydidn't cut the ropewhen I climaxed.
151
00:06:38,682 --> 00:06:39,947
As a result, I'm now dead.
152
00:06:40,016 --> 00:06:41,099
That's not it.
153
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,567
If you're watching this one,
154
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,313
it means the train wasn't
able to push the DeLorean
155
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,621
up to 88 miles per hour,
and I'm still stuck in 1885.
156
00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:48,901
This could take a while.
157
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:50,803
Eaten by sharks
while snorkeling...
158
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,022
stabbed to death
in a Toys R Us bathroom.
159
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,090
1940s roller skate
left in the hall.
160
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:56,681
Death by chocolate...
161
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,332
No, no, leave it in.
162
00:06:58,419 --> 00:06:59,696
Had a heart attackand have slipped intoa coma.
163
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,097
Here we go.
In that case,
164
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,755
I leave control of my company,
Pewterschmidt Industries,
165
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,039
to my daughter Lois.
166
00:07:05,108 --> 00:07:06,791
What?
167
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:09,505
I don't know the first
thing about running a
billion-dollar company.
168
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:12,808
The board of directors
is fully prepared to run the
company in Carter's absence,
169
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:14,510
if that's what you'd
prefer, Mrs. Griffin.
170
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,500
Well, yes, I think
that'd be best.
171
00:07:16,553 --> 00:07:18,970
Well, now,
wait a second, Lois.
I could run the company.
172
00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:23,575
You? You can't run
a business that size.
You have no experience.
173
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:24,687
You know what that is, Lois?
174
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,388
That's you playing
by the rule book.
175
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:28,914
And I don't play
by the rule book.
Right, Dr. House?
176
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,716
Well, don't ask me.
My superiors think
I'm crazy.
177
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,137
Scared you, didn't I?
House.
178
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:39,286
House.
And I'm gonna
run the company.
179
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,031
Well, Lois, I'm off
to my first day as
a corporate bigwig.
180
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,978
I'm not so sure
about this, Peter.
181
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,713
I mean, that's Daddy's company.
182
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,149
He spent his whole
life building it
from the ground up,
183
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,493
and you don't know anything
about running a big business.
184
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,475
Whoa, whoa. Thanks for
the vote of confidence.
185
00:07:57,544 --> 00:08:00,479
Jeez, you're a bigger downer
than a German bedtime story.
186
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:20,415
And in addition, Pewterschmidt
Industries' pharmaceutical
division is up over 30%,
187
00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:23,643
profits in new media
have doubled each quarter
over the past year,
188
00:08:23,686 --> 00:08:25,598
and our stock is
at an all-time high.
189
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,735
All right, stand aside.
I'll take it from here.
190
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,119
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
My name is Peter Griffin.
191
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:34,829
I will be running the company
from hence here forth.
192
00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:37,983
Now, I want you all to lay
some business talk on me.
I need ideas.
193
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,485
What can we do to make this
quarter more quarterly?
194
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,721
Well, come on, come on.
195
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,187
Okay, I can see
I'm gonna have to
get things rolling.
196
00:08:48,211 --> 00:08:50,823
All right,
we're gonna do an exercise
called the idea ball.
197
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,391
I'm gonna toss
a ball to one of you,
198
00:08:52,415 --> 00:08:54,594
and whoever catches it,
throw out
the first idea you got,
199
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,128
then pass the ball
to the next guy,
200
00:08:56,152 --> 00:08:57,630
and he throws out
an idea and so on.
201
00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:58,654
Everybody clear?
202
00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:00,421
Yeah.
203
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:02,356
All right, here we go.
204
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,804
All right, Abrams,
what do you got?
205
00:09:04,828 --> 00:09:07,095
My lung's collapsing.
206
00:09:07,164 --> 00:09:09,442
You know what
I'm hearing,
gentlemen?
207
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,747
What's the best way to put this?
208
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,853
What I'm hearing...
209
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,270
What I'm hearing is
a lot of yesterday talk.
210
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,573
This isn't the way
we're gonna do things
under my leadership.
211
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,457
We are gonna turn
this company around.
212
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:28,533
But, sir,
the company's doing fine.
Better than ever, in fact.
213
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:29,801
Mr. Pewterschmidt would...
214
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,197
I don't care what
Mr. Pewterschmidt
would have done.
215
00:09:31,221 --> 00:09:34,455
We need to take risks.
We need a complete overhaul.
216
00:09:34,524 --> 00:09:36,241
Gentlemen, you're all fired.
217
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,792
What?
218
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:40,700
There, now that
I've got your attention,
you're all fired.
219
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,051
Peter, what the hell
is going on?
220
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,303
You fired everybody
at Daddy's company?
221
00:09:49,372 --> 00:09:51,200
You bet.
Are you out
of your mind?
222
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:52,868
Keep it up, Lois,
I might fire you.
223
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,125
You wouldn't.
224
00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:57,428
Does the name Lacey Chabert
mean anything to you?
225
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,497
Okay, I'll behave.
226
00:09:58,565 --> 00:09:59,765
Yes, you will.
227
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,198
Look, Peter, all I'm saying is,
228
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,635
those guys have been
with Daddy for years.
229
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,903
How are you supposed
to run that
company without them?
230
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,050
That's it, Lois, you're fired.
231
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,723
Chris, you are now Meg's mother.
232
00:10:08,791 --> 00:10:12,593
Ooh, Peter,
your muscles
are so muscley.
233
00:10:12,662 --> 00:10:15,330
I am gonna plow you
so hard later.
234
00:10:19,069 --> 00:10:21,786
You are a team of
executives I can trust.
235
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:25,406
Brian, Quagmire, Mort,
you are gonna be
my creative team.
236
00:10:25,475 --> 00:10:28,142
You are gonna help me lead
this company into the future.
237
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:31,056
Peter, we don't know
anything more than you do
about running a company.
238
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,080
Hey, where's Joe?
239
00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:34,468
I think he's still outside.
240
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,463
Hey, Joe! What're you
doing down there?
241
00:10:37,487 --> 00:10:40,205
There's no ramp!
I can't get inside!
242
00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:41,384
Well, we don't need him anyway.
243
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:44,042
This company's gonna
make it on my ideas.
244
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,894
Here are the products
we'll be unveiling
in the new fiscal year.
245
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:48,963
The African-American
heart monitor.
246
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:53,468
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
247
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:55,352
Oh, he dead.
248
00:10:57,290 --> 00:11:00,975
If you're looking
for marshmallows,
there are none.
249
00:11:01,044 --> 00:11:03,828
It's quite bland, I assure you.
250
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,663
And Scream in a Box.
251
00:11:07,483 --> 00:11:09,000
I needed that today.
252
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,352
And now, new
Lady Scream in a Box.
253
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,857
Finally, a scream
that's right for me!
254
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,080
Well, it's good
to see everyone's adapting
to their new business roles.
255
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,982
Brian, I like your successories.
256
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:31,088
I will.
I will go get it.
257
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:37,861
Mr. Quagmire, the Davidson
account is waiting for you
258
00:11:37,913 --> 00:11:39,758
in the conference room.
All right, thanks, Marlene.
259
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:44,552
Tell them I'll be right in.
All right, Glenn,
time to go make millions.
260
00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:47,600
What happened to you, man?
261
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,156
I grew up!
That's what happened!
262
00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:51,170
What happened
to the free-loving
Quagmire
263
00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:53,138
who was banging
10 chicks at a time?
264
00:11:53,162 --> 00:11:54,595
I still do that.
265
00:11:54,664 --> 00:11:56,163
Oh. Good.
266
00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,165
Yep.
Can I have some money?
267
00:11:58,234 --> 00:11:59,345
Get out of here, you bum!
268
00:11:59,369 --> 00:12:00,489
All right.
269
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:08,009
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
270
00:12:08,077 --> 00:12:09,127
He's aight.
271
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,778
Daddy, you're awake!
272
00:12:10,847 --> 00:12:13,515
Oh, Carter, I'm so relieved.
273
00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:15,661
What happened?
Where am I?
274
00:12:15,685 --> 00:12:18,786
You had a heart attack, Daddy,
but you're all right now.
275
00:12:18,855 --> 00:12:19,966
Yeah, he cool.
276
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,567
What the hell is that?
277
00:12:21,591 --> 00:12:24,125
It's an African-American
heart monitor
made by your company.
278
00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:25,237
What?
279
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:26,672
Yes, it has two settings,
280
00:12:26,696 --> 00:12:28,830
Barry White and Bill Cosby.
281
00:12:32,101 --> 00:12:33,746
My company makes no such thing.
282
00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:36,070
Well, you see, Daddy,
when you were in a coma,
283
00:12:36,139 --> 00:12:39,040
Peter stepped in
and took charge of
Pewterschmidt Industries.
284
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,028
Ghost Dad!
285
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:50,367
Well, you made it, Peter.
You're a big shot.
286
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,915
In charge of
a whole bunch
of people.
287
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,717
Peggy, hold my calls
for a few minutes, please.
288
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,207
Yes, Mr. Griffin.
289
00:12:56,275 --> 00:13:01,079
Well, buddy, you're in love
with Peggy. What a mess.
290
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,192
Griffin! Get the hell
out of my building!
291
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,433
Holy crap,
Mr. Pewterschmidt,
you're okay!
292
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:06,879
You're damn right I'm okay,
293
00:13:06,903 --> 00:13:09,148
and I'm here
to reassume charge
of my company.
294
00:13:09,172 --> 00:13:12,456
Maybe I don't want to leave.
Maybe I like being a fat cat.
295
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:13,674
What are you saying?
296
00:13:13,743 --> 00:13:15,337
I'm saying it's my company now,
297
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,638
and it's better than it ever was
298
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,007
when you were running it.
299
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,176
Security, we have a situation
in the conference room.
300
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,478
I'll give you
a situation,
you fat turd!
301
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,852
Gentlemen, please remove
this man from the building.
302
00:13:24,921 --> 00:13:27,788
What the...
I'm Carter Pewterschmidt!
This is my company!
303
00:13:27,857 --> 00:13:28,901
Throw that guy out!
304
00:13:28,925 --> 00:13:30,002
Sorry,
Mr. Pewterschmidt,
305
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,821
but we work for
Mr. Griffin now.
306
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,261
You can't do this to me!
Do you know who I am?
307
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:37,398
I'm Carter Pewterschmidt!
I'm not getting in that
elevator!
308
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:41,027
Don't you dare throw
me out of this lobby!
Don't you... Damn it!
309
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,214
Hey, what are you
doing out here?
310
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,066
I can't get in the building!
311
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,090
Peggy?
312
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:46,441
Yes, Mr. Griffin.
313
00:13:46,509 --> 00:13:48,790
That fart I have at 3:00,
can you push that up to now?
314
00:13:48,845 --> 00:13:50,378
Very good, sir.
315
00:13:58,221 --> 00:14:01,706
Lois, how could you
let your idiot husband
take over my company?
316
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,257
He fired all my staff,
317
00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:05,671
his stupid ideas
are bankrupting
Pewterschmidt Industries,
318
00:14:05,695 --> 00:14:06,972
and now he won't step down!
319
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:07,996
I know, Daddy.
320
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,064
He's become so full of himself.
321
00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,917
He's more annoying
than when he's making
his Christmas list.
322
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,781
Now, Peter, are you
sure this is all you
want for Christmas?
323
00:14:15,805 --> 00:14:17,550
I'm only going to the mall once.
324
00:14:17,574 --> 00:14:19,285
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
325
00:14:19,309 --> 00:14:20,586
All new this Christmas,
326
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,611
remote control cars
that glow in the dark!
327
00:14:28,751 --> 00:14:30,217
Get that!
328
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,803
I've run that company
for 40 years.
329
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,384
He even froze
my corporate bank
accounts. I'm broke!
330
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,709
Oh! That's ridiculous.
I'll talk to him
as soon as he gets home.
331
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,279
What the hell is that?
332
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:56,628
Damn it, Peter!
Your plane set
my lawn on fire!
333
00:14:56,679 --> 00:14:57,740
Here, that ought to cover it.
334
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,742
Peter, I don't want your money!
335
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:02,717
Well, fine, then.
Have a box of
Jeremy Irons Cereal.
336
00:15:02,785 --> 00:15:06,670
If you're looking for
a prize at the bottom,
there is none.
337
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,741
Only more cardboard.
338
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,721
Peter, this has
gone on long enough.
339
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,507
I want you to make things
right with Daddy.
It's his company.
340
00:15:14,531 --> 00:15:18,215
It's my company.
It's your company.
Three's company.
341
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,617
Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his.
342
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:21,931
What?
I'm sorry, Lois.
343
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,816
We all had some
pot brownies
on the plane.
344
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,118
Hey, Peter, are you
seeing this rabbit?
345
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,042
No.
Well, I sure am.
346
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:31,695
You know something?
You're not qualified
to sit in that chair.
347
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,948
Oh, aren't I?
348
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,647
Maybe there's
a rabbit head
under here.
349
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,151
Peter, all of my father's assets
350
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,974
are tied up in that corporation.
351
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,923
If you freeze up his money,
he's not gonna have
anything to live on.
352
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:50,014
Now, you are gonna make amends
with Daddy and that's final.
353
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,893
All right, Lois,
if that's what you want.
354
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,529
Mr. Pewterschmidt, be
in my office tomorrow
morning at 9:00.
355
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:57,371
I'm sure we can
figure something out.
356
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:03,077
Hmm. I don't know if I like
the sound of that laugh.
357
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,497
I knew I didn't
like the sound of that laugh!
Peter, this is unacceptable!
358
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,561
What gives you the right
to treat me like this?
359
00:16:08,585 --> 00:16:11,447
You've been treating me
like crap for 20 years,
Mr. Pewterschmidt,
360
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,105
and now
I'm the one in charge.
Hang on a second.
361
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,551
Clean that up.
362
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:32,139
Carter, as your boss,
I command you to have
a viewing party
363
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:34,408
for tonight's episode
of The Big Bang Theory,
364
00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:36,843
and you have to go
cubicle to cubicle
inviting people.
365
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:39,291
Come on, Peter.
I'm not good
with rejection.
366
00:16:39,315 --> 00:16:41,699
I'm your boss.
Now do it!
367
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,121
Hi. I was gonna catch
The Big Bang Theory tonight,
368
00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:49,590
and wondered if you wanted
to come over and watch.
369
00:16:49,658 --> 00:16:51,292
What? What is that?
370
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,961
It's a comedy.
It's on CBS.
I'm really into it.
371
00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:56,641
I don't want to watch that.
I don't want to watch it
with you.
372
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:59,133
All right, if you change
your mind, here's a flyer.
373
00:16:59,202 --> 00:17:02,203
If you do decide to come,
I'm just asking that you
bring an appetizer.
374
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,049
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
375
00:17:04,073 --> 00:17:06,393
See, Peter, I told you!
No one wants to come!
376
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,803
This is awful.
You're not off the hook.
377
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,443
You still gotta have that party.
378
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,575
Babs, you want
to sit and watch...
379
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,048
No.
380
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:19,070
I'll have you know that
I can bench press over
690 billion nanograms.
381
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,183
Sheldon, that's less
than two pounds.
382
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,718
It sounded better
the way I said it.
383
00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:27,261
When I tell that joke
at work tomorrow, people...
384
00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:29,630
People are gonna be
sorry they didn't come.
385
00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:32,550
They're gonna...
This was a good night.
386
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,904
Carter, as your boss,
I'm ordering you
to pay a compliment
387
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:40,391
to this
sharply-dressed
Asian man.
388
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,608
You look very nice.
389
00:17:41,678 --> 00:17:44,211
What else?
What about my shoe?
390
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,280
They're nice, too.
391
00:17:45,347 --> 00:17:46,925
How you think my house smell?
392
00:17:46,949 --> 00:17:48,282
Not oniony?
393
00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:49,583
You good, man.
394
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,619
I pat you on the head
and feed you from the hand.
395
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:01,495
And then he made me
clean out the fridge
in the employee lounge,
396
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:02,941
and the employees were mad at me
397
00:18:02,965 --> 00:18:05,499
because I threw out food
that they still wanted.
398
00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:06,812
I don't know what's in there!
399
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,002
That's it!
400
00:18:08,071 --> 00:18:10,104
Peter is completely
out of control!
401
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:13,407
We've gotta do something
to take him down and get
your company back.
402
00:18:13,475 --> 00:18:15,009
Right, right, but how?
403
00:18:15,078 --> 00:18:18,312
In order to oust an idiot,
we've got to think like
an idiot.
404
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:22,282
Let's see.
What's Peter's weakness?
He's gotta have a weakness.
405
00:18:24,286 --> 00:18:25,820
Swamp monsters.
406
00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:28,189
Swamp monsters!
Of course!
407
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:33,672
Lois, what are you doing here?
408
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,856
I just wanted to make sure
everything was okay.
409
00:18:35,899 --> 00:18:37,342
Of course it's okay.
Why wouldn't it be?
410
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,745
You know, that whole
swamp monster story.
411
00:18:39,769 --> 00:18:40,769
Swamp monster?
412
00:18:40,836 --> 00:18:42,665
You haven't heard?
Heard what?
413
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,700
Oh, I'm sure it's nothing.
414
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,435
It's just, apparently
somebody flushed
415
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,337
a baby swamp monster
down the toilet
416
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,888
somewhere not far from here.
417
00:18:49,912 --> 00:18:52,863
What? Who would flush
a baby swamp monster?
418
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,276
Don't they know
what would happen?
419
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,244
Well, apparently,
it has happened.
420
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:59,637
And now it's grown up
and is attacking
important businessmen.
421
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,472
I'm an important businessman!
422
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:04,875
What the hell was that?
423
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,055
It sounds like maybe
a swamp monster
424
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,313
who needs to project
a little more.
425
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:14,235
Crap!
426
00:19:15,838 --> 00:19:17,921
A swamp monster!
427
00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:23,305
Quick, Peter, sign
this legal document giving
the company back to Daddy,
428
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,489
so you won't get eaten!
429
00:19:24,513 --> 00:19:26,463
I don't understand,
but nothing makes sense
430
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,899
in these swamp monster times.
431
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,468
We did it, Daddy!
432
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:34,371
I have my husband back,
and you have your company.
433
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,567
Sorry I'm late, Lois.
434
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,636
Okay, are we doing
the swamp monster thing?
435
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,693
Wait, if you're
Daddy, then who...
436
00:19:41,297 --> 00:19:44,431
Swamp monster!
437
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,761
Now, let's find out
who you really are.
438
00:20:13,830 --> 00:20:15,930
Dr. House?
439
00:20:15,998 --> 00:20:17,598
Indeed, Lois.
440
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:20,278
If you don't mind,
I'll address you
in my natural speaking voice,
441
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,303
as I've grown so weary
of doing an American accent.
442
00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:25,784
Do you want to come to
my Big Bang
viewing party next week?
443
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,319
Daddy, you don't
have to do that
anymore.
444
00:20:27,343 --> 00:20:29,843
I know, I know.
I like it now.
445
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:36,234
Well, I'm sorry
you lost the company, Peter,
but I think it's for the best.
446
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,230
You were turning
into a real jerk.
447
00:20:38,254 --> 00:20:41,922
Maybe so,
but I sure am gonna miss
being a corporate big shot.
448
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,425
Well,
you'll always be a big shot
in this family, sweetheart.
449
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,727
Thanks, honey.
450
00:20:46,796 --> 00:20:48,907
And I got a little
surprise for you.
451
00:20:48,931 --> 00:20:52,277
In that contract you
signed, you got to keep
the corporate plane!
452
00:20:52,301 --> 00:20:54,184
Yeah!
453
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,968
Peter, how are you doing that?
454
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,726
I don't know, Lois.
I'm scared.
455
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:02,893
Well, come down.
456
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,496
I can't. Get help.
Call somebody.
457
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:06,797
Who do I call?
458
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,133
I don't know.
A police... A fire...
459
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,801
A scientist!
Call a scientist!
460
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:14,505
Okay, you kids
stay here with your father.
I'm gonna go find a scientist.
461
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,791
Am I gonna die?
462
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:56,027
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