Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,553
Tonight's program
takes us backstage
2
00:01:18,553 --> 00:01:22,140
to witness firsthand
the creation, start to finish,
3
00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:25,852
of a new play mounted
on the American stage.
4
00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:29,355
Asteroid City does not exist.
5
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:30,982
It is an imaginary drama
6
00:01:30,982 --> 00:01:33,860
created expressly
for this broadcast.
7
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:37,864
The characters are fictional,
the text hypothetical,
8
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,491
the events
an apocryphal fabrication,
9
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:43,494
but together they present
an authentic account
10
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:47,248
of the inner workings of
a modern theatrical production.
11
00:01:47,248 --> 00:01:51,127
Our story begins, of course,
with an ink ribbon.
12
00:01:51,127 --> 00:01:55,340
Conrad Earp, playwright,
native of upper Wyoming,
13
00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:58,508
well-known for
his romantic poetic tapestries
14
00:01:58,508 --> 00:02:01,303
of life west
of the Rocky Mountains.
15
00:02:06,099 --> 00:02:08,644
There is little amusement
to be had, however,
16
00:02:08,644 --> 00:02:10,562
in watching a man type.
17
00:02:10,562 --> 00:02:13,899
Skip ahead, then,
past the lonely, agonized months
18
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:17,235
of composing, revising,
polishing, editing, rewriting,
19
00:02:17,235 --> 00:02:20,781
cutting, pasting, pacing,
doodling and solitary drinking,
20
00:02:20,781 --> 00:02:23,325
and join our company
as they take the stage
21
00:02:23,325 --> 00:02:25,535
for their first
read-through rehearsal.
22
00:02:25,535 --> 00:02:27,663
the Tarkington Theater,
23
00:02:27,663 --> 00:02:30,749
345 South Northwest Avenue.
24
00:02:33,961 --> 00:02:35,921
Curtain rises
on a desert bus stop
25
00:02:35,921 --> 00:02:39,174
halfway between
Parched Gulch and Arid Plains.
26
00:02:39,174 --> 00:02:41,301
Main scenography includes
27
00:02:41,301 --> 00:02:43,428
a 12-stool luncheonette,
28
00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:45,347
a one-pump filling station
29
00:02:45,347 --> 00:02:48,183
and a ten-cabin
motor court hotel.
30
00:02:48,183 --> 00:02:49,810
Upstage left:
31
00:02:49,810 --> 00:02:51,478
the Tomahawk Mountains.
32
00:02:51,478 --> 00:02:53,939
Highest peak: 11,000 feet.
33
00:02:53,939 --> 00:02:56,900
Upstage right:
an unfinished highway overpass
34
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:59,194
which vaults up 20 feet,
then chops off midair
35
00:02:59,194 --> 00:03:01,530
behind a permanent roadblock.
36
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,198
Center front: an impact crater
37
00:03:03,198 --> 00:03:05,117
a hundred feet
in depth and diameter
38
00:03:05,117 --> 00:03:08,870
encircled by a low Little League
variety chain-link fence.
39
00:03:10,455 --> 00:03:13,625
Offstage, distant:
a 650-car freight train
40
00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:17,170
which click-clacks by
at five miles an hour.
41
00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:18,964
Note to chief electrician:
42
00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:22,050
The light of the desert sun
is neither warm nor cool
43
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:24,635
but always clean
44
00:03:24,635 --> 00:03:27,596
and, above all, unforgiving.
45
00:03:27,596 --> 00:03:30,016
Augie Steenbeck,
46
00:03:30,016 --> 00:03:32,351
war photographer, early 40s.
47
00:03:32,351 --> 00:03:35,688
His son Woodrow, 14,
also known as Brainiac.
48
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:39,525
Midge Campbell, late 30s,
film actress.
49
00:03:39,525 --> 00:03:41,777
Her daughter Dinah, 15.
50
00:03:41,777 --> 00:03:44,405
June Douglas, schoolteacher.
51
00:03:44,405 --> 00:03:47,283
Ranch hand Montana, above.
52
00:03:47,283 --> 00:03:49,410
Grif Gibson, five-star general.
53
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:53,956
Sandy Borden, Roger Cho,
J.J. Kellogg.
54
00:03:53,956 --> 00:03:56,459
Clifford, Ricky, Shelly.
55
00:03:57,334 --> 00:04:00,629
Stanley Zak, 65, retired.
56
00:04:01,839 --> 00:04:05,259
The action of the play takes
place in September of 1955.
57
00:04:05,259 --> 00:04:08,554
Act one:
Friday morning, 7:00 a.m.
58
00:04:08,554 --> 00:04:11,057
Act two: the next day.
59
00:04:11,057 --> 00:04:13,517
Act three: one week later.
60
00:04:17,188 --> 00:04:21,275
♪ Last train to San Fernando ♪
61
00:04:22,068 --> 00:04:25,696
♪ Last train
to San Fernando ♪
62
00:04:25,696 --> 00:04:29,200
♪ If you miss this one,
you'll never get another one ♪
63
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:33,454
♪ Bee-dee-dee-dee-bom-bom
to San Fernando ♪
64
00:04:33,454 --> 00:04:35,206
♪ Last night,
I met my sweet Dorothy ♪
65
00:04:35,206 --> 00:04:37,374
♪ She said, "Tomorrow I join
in sweet matrimony" ♪
66
00:04:37,374 --> 00:04:39,376
♪ But if you act all right ♪
67
00:04:39,376 --> 00:04:41,003
♪ Oh, you can
take me out tonight ♪
68
00:04:41,003 --> 00:04:43,214
♪ We can wine and dine
and get back in time ♪
69
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:46,008
♪ For the last train
to San Fernando ♪
70
00:04:46,008 --> 00:04:50,804
♪ Last train to San Fernando ♪
71
00:04:50,804 --> 00:04:54,390
♪ Last train
to San Fernando ♪
72
00:04:54,390 --> 00:04:58,061
♪ If you miss this one,
you'll never get another one ♪
73
00:04:58,061 --> 00:05:01,481
♪ Bee-dee-dee-dee-bom-bom
to San Fernando. ♪
74
00:07:26,291 --> 00:07:28,877
GIRL
It's a dead snake.
75
00:07:28,877 --> 00:07:31,171
Flat snake.
76
00:07:31,171 --> 00:07:33,715
Poke him in the head
with this stick.
77
00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:40,012
-♪ I wander the streets ♪
78
00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:43,516
♪ And the gay
crowded places... ♪
79
00:07:43,516 --> 00:07:47,061
Five orders of flapjacks
and a black coffee.
80
00:07:47,061 --> 00:07:50,314
♪ But somehow it seems ♪
81
00:07:50,314 --> 00:07:53,776
♪ That my thoughts ever stray ♪
82
00:07:53,776 --> 00:07:55,486
♪ To our last... ♪
83
00:07:55,486 --> 00:07:56,821
Who needs to pee?
84
00:07:56,821 --> 00:07:58,322
-Nobody needs to pee.
-I don't.
85
00:07:58,322 --> 00:08:00,074
Our average speed is
83 feet per second.
86
00:08:00,074 --> 00:08:02,159
Poor fuel efficiency
due to excess wind resistance.
87
00:08:02,159 --> 00:08:03,744
Probably the luggage rack.
88
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,080
Based on data before
the loss of power, obviously.
89
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,332
♪ High in the sky... ♪
90
00:08:08,332 --> 00:08:10,209
What do you little princesses
want to drink?
91
00:08:10,209 --> 00:08:11,836
-Oh, we're not princesses.
-I'm a vampire.
92
00:08:11,836 --> 00:08:13,629
I'm a mummy in Egypt
who got buried alive...
93
00:08:13,629 --> 00:08:15,506
-I suck people's blood.
-...and came back to life
94
00:08:15,506 --> 00:08:17,967
-with his head chopped off.
-I'm a fairy.
95
00:08:19,552 --> 00:08:22,096
How about a glass
of strawberry milk?
96
00:08:24,682 --> 00:08:26,183
What was that?
97
00:08:26,183 --> 00:08:28,060
Another atom bomb test.
98
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,704
I've seen this combination
of symptoms twice before
99
00:08:46,704 --> 00:08:49,040
in the '52 Estate model.
100
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:53,127
In one case, it was a quick fix
of a 75-cent part.
101
00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:55,296
In the other case,
it was a difficult, costly,
102
00:08:55,296 --> 00:08:58,257
time-consuming disassembly
and re-mantling
103
00:08:58,257 --> 00:08:59,758
of the entire drivetrain
104
00:08:59,758 --> 00:09:01,968
and lubrication mechanism,
which didn't work.
105
00:09:01,968 --> 00:09:03,595
The motor exploded itself,
106
00:09:03,595 --> 00:09:05,847
and the body was stripped
and sold for scrap.
107
00:09:05,847 --> 00:09:07,474
There it is.
108
00:09:14,606 --> 00:09:16,191
Well, which one have we got?
109
00:09:16,191 --> 00:09:18,401
We're about to find out.
110
00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:51,935
You got the first one.
111
00:09:51,935 --> 00:09:53,478
-How much do I owe you?
-Nothing.
112
00:09:53,478 --> 00:09:55,146
-Ten dollars for the tow.
113
00:09:59,984 --> 00:10:02,112
What's that? Wh-What's that?
114
00:10:02,946 --> 00:10:04,614
I don't know.
115
00:10:16,376 --> 00:10:18,211
I think you've got
a third problem
116
00:10:18,211 --> 00:10:20,296
we've never seen before.
117
00:10:26,802 --> 00:10:28,429
MAN
Zak residence.
118
00:10:28,429 --> 00:10:30,097
Romulus, this is
Augie Steenbeck.
119
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,015
Good morning, Mr. Augie.
The gate is open.
120
00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:33,892
-No, we're not there.
-You're not here?
121
00:10:33,892 --> 00:10:36,728
-May I speak to Mr. Zak?
-Yes, Mr. Augie.
122
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,329
-You're not here?
-We're not there.
123
00:10:54,329 --> 00:10:56,373
The car exploded.
Come get the girls.
124
00:10:56,373 --> 00:10:57,875
The car exploded?
125
00:10:57,875 --> 00:11:00,419
Parts of the car
exploded itself, yes.
126
00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:02,254
-Come get the girls.
-I'm not their chauffeur.
127
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,630
I'm their grandfather.
128
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,841
-Where are you?
-Asteroid City.
129
00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:07,885
Farm Route Six, mile 75.
Come get the girls.
130
00:11:07,885 --> 00:11:09,428
I have to stay here
with Woodrow.
131
00:11:09,428 --> 00:11:10,762
What are you talking about?
132
00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:13,056
The thing for Woodrow.
We're there.
133
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,518
Hmm.
134
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,232
-Hello?
-How'd they take it?
135
00:11:25,861 --> 00:11:27,237
They didn't.
136
00:11:27,237 --> 00:11:28,447
-No?
-No.
137
00:11:28,447 --> 00:11:30,032
-No.
-Yes.
138
00:11:30,032 --> 00:11:31,909
-You didn't tell them still?
-I still didn't tell them.
139
00:11:31,909 --> 00:11:34,244
-You promised.
-I know.
140
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,457
The time is never right.
141
00:11:38,457 --> 00:11:40,792
The time...
142
00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:42,961
is always wrong.
143
00:11:51,594 --> 00:11:53,846
Are you okay?
144
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,681
No.
145
00:11:59,143 --> 00:12:01,395
You never liked me, did you?
146
00:12:01,395 --> 00:12:04,440
I never loved you.
I always thought that you...
147
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,359
You always thought
I wasn't good enough for her.
148
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,653
Yes.
We're saying the same thing.
149
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,948
-Gas up the Cadillac.
-Okay.
150
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,282
-Tell the kids.
-I will.
151
00:12:13,282 --> 00:12:15,535
I'll be there when I get there.
152
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,216
It's the end of that car.
153
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,176
Andromeda, check under
the floor mats. Come on.
154
00:12:32,176 --> 00:12:33,844
Pandora, check the side pockets.
155
00:12:33,844 --> 00:12:35,846
Cassiopeia, check the cracks
between the seats.
156
00:12:35,846 --> 00:12:37,932
Take everything.
What do you think, Woodrow?
157
00:12:37,932 --> 00:12:39,850
I think it's kind of sad.
158
00:13:36,948 --> 00:13:39,326
Rest stop, 13 minutes.
159
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,624
-Head count.
One.
160
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:47,042
-Two.
-Three. -Four.
161
00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:48,376
-Five. -Six.
-Seven. -Eight.
162
00:13:48,376 --> 00:13:49,878
-Nine. -Ten.
-All present.
163
00:13:49,878 --> 00:13:51,630
Let's give thanks
for a safe journey. Billy?
164
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,214
Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank thee kindly
165
00:13:53,214 --> 00:13:54,549
for a terrific bus ride.
166
00:13:54,549 --> 00:13:55,925
I ate three boxes
of Cracker Jacks,
167
00:13:55,925 --> 00:13:57,427
got a dog whistle
and a miniature map
168
00:13:57,427 --> 00:13:58,970
of the original 13 colonies.
169
00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:00,972
Also, we saw a coyote
get run over by a 14-wheeler
170
00:14:00,972 --> 00:14:02,682
and left him flat as a pancake.
171
00:14:02,682 --> 00:14:03,683
Boy, oh, boy. What else?
172
00:14:03,683 --> 00:14:04,893
The bus driver had to stop twice
173
00:14:04,893 --> 00:14:06,102
because Bernice
couldn't hold it.
174
00:14:06,102 --> 00:14:07,312
-Could so.
Amen.
175
00:14:07,312 --> 00:14:08,647
Amen.
176
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,315
Lunchtime. Line up single file.
177
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:15,612
My word. It's hot.
178
00:14:15,612 --> 00:14:17,238
It's the desert.
What'd you expect?
179
00:14:17,238 --> 00:14:19,324
I don't know if I expected
one thing or another,
180
00:14:19,324 --> 00:14:21,201
but I'm wilting
like a cut petunia.
181
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:22,994
-Humans don't wilt.
-Don't they?
182
00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:24,329
No, wilting is a phenomenon
183
00:14:24,329 --> 00:14:26,289
by which a petal,
leaf or stem...
184
00:14:26,289 --> 00:14:27,916
Do you dare me?
185
00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:30,418
-Dare you what?
-To eat this hot pepper.
186
00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:33,004
-It's an experiment.
-No, don't do it.
187
00:14:36,131 --> 00:14:37,508
Hot pepper.
188
00:14:37,508 --> 00:14:39,385
Holy Toledo.
That's Midge Campbell.
189
00:14:39,385 --> 00:14:41,345
-Where? Who?
-Right smack in back of you.
190
00:14:41,345 --> 00:14:42,971
Don't look.
191
00:14:42,971 --> 00:14:45,015
That must be her bodyguard.
192
00:14:45,015 --> 00:14:47,226
Mr. Cho, yes? Hello.
193
00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:49,520
You're in cabin seven.
Well, tent seven.
194
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,563
Here's the key,
but there's no door.
195
00:14:51,563 --> 00:14:53,315
Just a flap. Tent flap.
196
00:14:53,315 --> 00:14:54,900
-Tent?
-I know.
197
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,152
I upgraded the electrical system
Tuesday morning.
198
00:14:57,152 --> 00:14:58,904
Better lighting,
power for the ice machine
199
00:14:58,904 --> 00:15:00,406
and a wall-mounted bug zapper.
200
00:15:00,406 --> 00:15:02,241
Unfortunately,
a mistake got made,
201
00:15:02,241 --> 00:15:03,784
and cabin seven
burned to the ground.
202
00:15:03,784 --> 00:15:05,035
It's a tent now.
203
00:15:05,035 --> 00:15:06,453
We don't want to sleep
in a tent.
204
00:15:06,453 --> 00:15:07,871
Of course. I understand.
205
00:15:07,871 --> 00:15:10,082
May I say, I think
you'll find it very comfortable.
206
00:15:10,082 --> 00:15:12,334
Is the young gentleman
in distress?
207
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:13,544
He's thirsty.
208
00:15:13,544 --> 00:15:15,087
Of course. I understand.
209
00:15:15,087 --> 00:15:17,673
Uh, juice preference, please:
apple, orange or tomato?
210
00:15:19,174 --> 00:15:21,009
Excuse me, sir?
211
00:15:21,009 --> 00:15:23,512
This bucket of nuts
just stole my quarter.
212
00:15:23,512 --> 00:15:25,681
I beg your pardon.
213
00:15:27,224 --> 00:15:29,435
♪ She lived so long
till her head got bald ♪
214
00:15:29,435 --> 00:15:31,437
♪ Taken a notion
not to die at all ♪
215
00:15:31,437 --> 00:15:33,439
♪ Ida Red, Ida Red ♪
216
00:15:33,439 --> 00:15:36,442
♪ I'm a plumb fool
about Ida Red... ♪
217
00:15:39,319 --> 00:15:40,904
You're probably wondering why
218
00:15:40,904 --> 00:15:43,198
we didn't pack
your mother's suitcase.
219
00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:48,036
It's because she's not
coming with us on this journey.
220
00:15:48,036 --> 00:15:50,456
She can't come.
221
00:15:50,456 --> 00:15:52,833
She got too sick.
222
00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:55,210
And, to put it bluntly,
after all the surgeries,
223
00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:57,337
-therapies and interventions,
224
00:15:57,337 --> 00:16:00,256
after two years
of struggling and suffering,
225
00:16:00,256 --> 00:16:02,717
she succumbed to her illnesses.
226
00:16:03,593 --> 00:16:04,844
I'm sorry.
227
00:16:04,844 --> 00:16:06,679
I didn't know
how to tell you then.
228
00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:08,723
I couldn't figure out
how to tell you later.
229
00:16:08,723 --> 00:16:10,516
I didn't know what to do.
230
00:16:10,516 --> 00:16:13,060
The time was never right.
231
00:16:14,187 --> 00:16:17,523
You're saying our mother died
three weeks ago?
232
00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:20,860
Yes.
233
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:23,863
When is she coming back?
234
00:16:23,863 --> 00:16:25,948
She's not coming back.
235
00:16:26,783 --> 00:16:28,409
Let's say she's in heaven.
236
00:16:28,409 --> 00:16:30,536
Which doesn't exist for me,
of course,
237
00:16:30,536 --> 00:16:32,538
but you're Episcopalian.
238
00:16:33,539 --> 00:16:35,666
Come here. Let me hug you.
239
00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:44,008
Okay. Sit back down.
240
00:16:50,515 --> 00:16:53,726
Did you know already, Woodrow?
241
00:16:55,686 --> 00:16:57,814
I think so.
242
00:16:58,689 --> 00:17:00,441
She'd been away so long.
243
00:17:00,441 --> 00:17:01,692
Mm-hmm.
244
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:05,196
Yeah.
245
00:17:05,196 --> 00:17:06,864
We're gonna be okay.
246
00:17:06,864 --> 00:17:08,366
Your grandfather's on his way.
247
00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:10,451
We're gonna stay with him
for a period of time
248
00:17:10,451 --> 00:17:13,329
which is yet to be determined
how long it's gonna be.
249
00:17:14,205 --> 00:17:16,666
Is she in there?
250
00:17:20,461 --> 00:17:22,171
Yeah.
251
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,464
She's in the Tupperware.
252
00:17:26,299 --> 00:17:28,176
Cremated.
253
00:17:31,721 --> 00:17:35,225
Are we orphans now?
254
00:17:36,852 --> 00:17:37,978
Huh?
255
00:17:37,978 --> 00:17:41,565
Are we orphans now?
256
00:17:41,565 --> 00:17:42,899
No.
257
00:17:42,899 --> 00:17:45,527
Because I'm still alive.
258
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:51,324
When my father died, my mother
told me, "He's in the stars."
259
00:17:51,324 --> 00:17:54,744
I told her, "The closest star,
other than that one,
260
00:17:54,744 --> 00:17:56,496
"is four and half
light-years away
261
00:17:56,496 --> 00:17:59,165
with a surface temperature
over 5,000 degrees centigrade."
262
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,168
"He's not in the stars," I said.
263
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,087
"He's in the ground."
264
00:18:04,087 --> 00:18:05,839
She thought it would comfort me.
265
00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:07,424
She was an atheist.
266
00:18:07,424 --> 00:18:10,385
The other thing she'd say
which is incorrect:
267
00:18:10,385 --> 00:18:12,345
"Time heals all wounds."
268
00:18:12,345 --> 00:18:13,847
No.
269
00:18:13,847 --> 00:18:16,141
Maybe it can be a Band-Aid.
270
00:18:16,141 --> 00:18:18,602
Your concept of time is
completely distorted, though.
271
00:18:18,602 --> 00:18:20,437
I don't think any of you
except Woodrow
272
00:18:20,437 --> 00:18:22,981
even understands
what 15 minutes means.
273
00:18:22,981 --> 00:18:26,860
15 minutes is 6,200 hours.
274
00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:31,948
Exactly.
275
00:18:31,948 --> 00:18:33,992
That's not your fault.
276
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,792
If you could have anything
in the world to eat right now,
277
00:18:42,792 --> 00:18:44,669
what would it be?
278
00:18:47,714 --> 00:18:50,007
The character of Augie Steenbeck
279
00:18:50,007 --> 00:18:52,176
in the imaginary tale
of our production
280
00:18:52,176 --> 00:18:54,929
was to become famously
and indelibly connected
281
00:18:54,929 --> 00:18:57,139
to the actor
who created the role,
282
00:18:57,139 --> 00:18:59,642
a former carpenter
discovered in a bit part
283
00:18:59,642 --> 00:19:01,977
by the play's director,
Schubert Green.
284
00:19:01,977 --> 00:19:04,146
I've finished
my correspondence, Analisse.
285
00:19:04,146 --> 00:19:05,940
Please bring me my cocktail
and my pill.
286
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:07,483
-Remember, the gentleman...
-Oh, no.
287
00:19:07,483 --> 00:19:08,859
...referred by Mr. Green
has arrived.
288
00:19:08,859 --> 00:19:10,444
No. Send him away.
289
00:19:10,444 --> 00:19:12,321
Put him up at the Salty Skipper
or the Lighthouse Inn
290
00:19:12,321 --> 00:19:14,114
and tell him to come back
in the morning
291
00:19:14,114 --> 00:19:15,324
but not before 11:00.
292
00:19:15,324 --> 00:19:16,742
The occasion
of the first meeting
293
00:19:16,742 --> 00:19:19,078
between playwright and player
is now,
294
00:19:19,078 --> 00:19:20,663
in our fanciful telling,
295
00:19:20,663 --> 00:19:23,248
a matter of
theatrical lore and legend.
296
00:19:23,248 --> 00:19:26,251
late autumn,
late afternoon,
297
00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:29,338
a seaside village
outside the grand metropolis.
298
00:19:29,338 --> 00:19:31,924
Oh, no, again.
I-I beg your pardon. I'm sorry.
299
00:19:31,924 --> 00:19:34,635
Did Miss Watson not inform you?
I'm indisposed.
300
00:19:34,635 --> 00:19:36,887
I know, but the ice cream
would've melted.
301
00:19:43,477 --> 00:19:45,354
-What's this?
-I think it's the one you like.
302
00:19:45,354 --> 00:19:47,356
Gooseberry Wriggle
from the Frosty Spoon
303
00:19:47,356 --> 00:19:48,816
on East Rotterdam.
304
00:19:48,816 --> 00:19:50,859
I wrapped it in sawdust,
newspaper and peanut shells.
305
00:19:50,859 --> 00:19:52,277
You shouldn't waste
your spending money
306
00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:53,696
on an old fool like me.
307
00:19:53,696 --> 00:19:55,114
Well, they gave me
ten dollars bus fare,
308
00:19:55,114 --> 00:19:56,907
so I bought us a half bucket,
hitchhiked
309
00:19:56,907 --> 00:19:58,993
and pocketed the change.
310
00:20:04,039 --> 00:20:06,333
Cool and delicious.
311
00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:08,961
How long have you been
in the service?
312
00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:10,295
The service? What service?
313
00:20:10,295 --> 00:20:11,797
I don't know
what you're talking about.
314
00:20:11,797 --> 00:20:13,423
Well, unless I've been
deliberately misinformed,
315
00:20:13,423 --> 00:20:15,299
I believe those stripes
indicate the status
316
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,093
of a ranking corporal,
second class.
317
00:20:17,093 --> 00:20:19,846
Oh, no. I-I'm G.I. Number Three
in Bugle Boy Blows the Blues.
318
00:20:19,846 --> 00:20:21,472
Was, anyway. We closed tonight.
319
00:20:21,472 --> 00:20:24,017
I see. Property of
the wardrobe department.
320
00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:25,852
Not anymore.
321
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:29,564
How was it, by the way?
322
00:20:30,398 --> 00:20:31,858
-The play? It stunk.
-Mm.
323
00:20:31,858 --> 00:20:34,027
-Mind if I crack open a window?
-Uh, not at all.
324
00:20:34,027 --> 00:20:35,403
It's sweltering, isn't it?
325
00:20:35,403 --> 00:20:37,655
Even the daisies
and buttercups are drooping...
326
00:20:37,655 --> 00:20:40,616
That window sticks a bit.
That window sticks a bit!
327
00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:47,331
-You broke my window.
328
00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:55,006
Why does Augie burn his hand
on the Quicky-Griddle?
329
00:20:56,883 --> 00:20:59,177
Well, I don't even know myself,
to tell you the truth.
330
00:20:59,177 --> 00:21:00,595
I hadn't planned it that way.
331
00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:02,597
He just sort of did it
while I was typing.
332
00:21:02,597 --> 00:21:04,474
Is it too extraordinary for you?
333
00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:07,101
Uh, I guess, the way I read it,
he was looking for an excuse
334
00:21:07,101 --> 00:21:09,103
why his heart
was beating so fast.
335
00:21:09,103 --> 00:21:10,563
Oh.
336
00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:13,107
Oh, what an interesting
sentiment.
337
00:21:13,107 --> 00:21:14,942
I love that idea.
338
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:16,402
Maybe he should say it.
339
00:21:16,402 --> 00:21:18,071
It's a very good line.
340
00:21:20,406 --> 00:21:23,618
No, I suppose not.
Not necessary.
341
00:21:32,418 --> 00:21:35,838
" playing)
342
00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:49,601
It's a fact-- we're not alone.
343
00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,311
The alien stole the asteroid.
344
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:52,854
Long thought to be
a lunar splinter
345
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,189
fragmented from the lesser moon
346
00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:56,608
of the hypothetical planet
Magnavox-27,
347
00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:58,819
now considered
a rogue pygmy cometette,
348
00:21:58,819 --> 00:22:01,321
according to the encyclopedia.
349
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:02,948
Obviously, she would've said
something to him.
350
00:22:02,948 --> 00:22:04,866
I'm certain of it.
Your mother, I mean.
351
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:07,410
She would've gotten him to tell
us the secrets of the universe
352
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:09,663
or yelled at him
or made him laugh.
353
00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:12,207
She would've had a hypothesis.
354
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,376
You remind me of her
more than ever.
355
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,253
She wasn't shy.
356
00:22:16,253 --> 00:22:18,255
You'll grow out of that.
357
00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:21,925
I think your sisters might be
aliens, too, by the way.
358
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:27,681
When I met your mother,
she was only 19.
359
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:29,933
She was smoking a cigarette,
reading a paperback,
360
00:22:29,933 --> 00:22:32,644
taking a bath in a swimsuit
on a rusty fire escape
361
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:35,480
a flight and a half
below my camera position.
362
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,400
Sometimes
I sometimes still think
363
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,319
I still hear her here
364
00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:43,613
breathing in the dark.
365
00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:49,911
Who knows, Woodrow?
366
00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:52,330
Maybe she is in the stars.
367
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,428
You're perfect.
368
00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:13,559
" playing)
369
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:36,123
-Okay?
-Okay.
370
00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:10,783
Hold on, partner!
371
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,413
-Zut alors.
-Oh, no.
372
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:21,418
When's the next one?
373
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:24,171
Sunday morning, I think.
374
00:24:35,473 --> 00:24:37,016
Drink your juice.
375
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:47,151
You took a picture of me.
376
00:24:47,151 --> 00:24:49,237
Uh-huh.
377
00:24:50,154 --> 00:24:51,489
Why?
378
00:24:52,323 --> 00:24:53,950
I'm a photographer.
379
00:24:54,742 --> 00:24:56,077
You didn't ask permission.
380
00:24:56,077 --> 00:24:58,746
-I never ask permission.
-Why not?
381
00:24:58,746 --> 00:25:03,084
Because I work in trenches,
battlefields and combat zones.
382
00:25:03,084 --> 00:25:04,502
Really?
383
00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:05,878
Uh-huh.
384
00:25:06,754 --> 00:25:08,423
You mean you're
a war photographer?
385
00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:09,340
Mostly.
386
00:25:09,340 --> 00:25:11,884
Sometimes I cover
sporting events.
387
00:25:11,884 --> 00:25:14,053
My name is Augie Steenbeck.
388
00:25:14,053 --> 00:25:16,097
Mm-hmm.
389
00:25:18,599 --> 00:25:20,435
What are you gonna do with it?
390
00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:22,020
That picture.
391
00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:25,273
Hmm. Well, if it's any good,
I guess I'll try to sell it
392
00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:27,608
to a magazine,
now that you mention it.
393
00:25:27,608 --> 00:25:30,445
"Midge Campbell
eating a waffle."
394
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:36,117
Make me a print first,
to approve.
395
00:25:37,118 --> 00:25:38,911
Uh-huh.
396
00:25:39,871 --> 00:25:41,622
This is Dinah.
397
00:25:41,622 --> 00:25:42,790
This is Woodrow.
398
00:25:42,790 --> 00:25:44,125
I have a question.
399
00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:45,460
Uh-huh.
400
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:47,462
Have you ever been shot
with bullets?
401
00:25:47,462 --> 00:25:49,296
Have I ever been...
402
00:25:49,296 --> 00:25:51,673
Uh, once or twice-- just grazed.
403
00:25:51,673 --> 00:25:54,885
He got shrapneled in the back
of the head, too. Show her.
404
00:25:57,888 --> 00:25:59,890
Hmm.
405
00:26:02,726 --> 00:26:05,270
I don't say I forgive you yet,
by the way.
406
00:26:18,116 --> 00:26:20,494
Welcome from the
United States Military-Science
407
00:26:20,494 --> 00:26:22,496
Research and Experimentation
Division,
408
00:26:22,496 --> 00:26:24,748
in conjunction with
the Larkings Foundation.
409
00:26:24,748 --> 00:26:26,333
We salute you.
410
00:26:36,259 --> 00:26:38,345
Each year,
we celebrate Asteroid Day,
411
00:26:38,345 --> 00:26:41,223
commemorating
September 23, 3007 BC,
412
00:26:41,223 --> 00:26:44,601
when the Arid Plains Meteorite
made Earth impact.
413
00:26:45,602 --> 00:26:47,437
The itinerary for
this three-day celebration
414
00:26:47,437 --> 00:26:49,815
includes a tour of the
newly refurbished observatory
415
00:26:49,815 --> 00:26:52,442
with Dr. Hickenlooper
and her staff,
416
00:26:52,442 --> 00:26:54,903
a picnic supper
of chili and frankfurters
417
00:26:54,903 --> 00:26:57,697
with evening fireworks display,
418
00:26:57,697 --> 00:26:59,783
the viewing of
the astronomical ellipses
419
00:26:59,783 --> 00:27:02,202
at its peak
just before midnight tonight,
420
00:27:02,202 --> 00:27:04,538
and finally,
the awarding of the annual
421
00:27:04,538 --> 00:27:08,667
Hickenlooper Scholarship
after Monday's banquet lunch.
422
00:27:08,667 --> 00:27:11,086
Now, I'll start by presenting
the commemorative medals,
423
00:27:11,086 --> 00:27:13,087
but first,
I'll do my speech first,
424
00:27:13,087 --> 00:27:16,132
which you'll also receive in
a folio edition as a souvenir.
425
00:27:25,349 --> 00:27:27,017
Chapter One.
426
00:27:27,017 --> 00:27:29,103
I walked to school 18 miles
each morning, milked the goats,
427
00:27:29,103 --> 00:27:30,729
plucked the chickens,
played hooky, caught fireflies,
428
00:27:30,729 --> 00:27:32,148
went skinny-dipping
in the watering hole,
429
00:27:32,148 --> 00:27:33,649
said my prayers every night
430
00:27:33,649 --> 00:27:35,401
and got whipped with
a maple switch twice a week.
431
00:27:35,401 --> 00:27:37,319
That was life.
432
00:27:38,946 --> 00:27:40,531
Chapter Two.
433
00:27:40,531 --> 00:27:42,575
My father went off to fight
in the war to end all wars--
434
00:27:42,575 --> 00:27:44,076
it didn't--
and what was left of him
435
00:27:44,076 --> 00:27:46,162
came back in a pine box
with a flag on top.
436
00:27:46,162 --> 00:27:48,080
End of Chapter Two.
437
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,082
Next, I went to officer school,
438
00:27:50,082 --> 00:27:52,543
and 20 years passed
at the speed of a dream.
439
00:27:52,543 --> 00:27:55,754
A wife, a son,
a daughter, a poodle.
440
00:27:55,754 --> 00:27:57,840
Chapter Three. Another war.
441
00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:59,967
Arms and legs blown off
like popcorn,
442
00:27:59,967 --> 00:28:02,761
eyeballs gouged out,
figuratively and literally.
443
00:28:02,761 --> 00:28:04,847
The men put on shows
under the palm fronds
444
00:28:04,847 --> 00:28:06,432
dressed as women in hula skirts.
445
00:28:06,432 --> 00:28:08,142
That was life.
446
00:28:08,142 --> 00:28:10,519
In the meantime,
somebody else's story.
447
00:28:10,519 --> 00:28:12,062
A man thinks up a number,
448
00:28:12,062 --> 00:28:14,023
divides it by a trillion,
plugs it into the square root
449
00:28:14,023 --> 00:28:15,524
of the circumference
of the Earth
450
00:28:15,524 --> 00:28:17,359
multiplied by the speed
of a splitting atom,
451
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,069
and voilà, progress.
452
00:28:19,069 --> 00:28:21,071
I'm not a scientist. You are.
453
00:28:21,071 --> 00:28:22,948
End of Chapter Three.
454
00:28:22,948 --> 00:28:25,618
Junior Stargazers
and Space Cadets,
455
00:28:25,618 --> 00:28:27,953
we watch transfixed as you enter
456
00:28:27,953 --> 00:28:31,248
into uncharted territories
of the brains and spirit.
457
00:28:31,248 --> 00:28:34,460
If you wanted to live
a nice, quiet, peaceful life,
458
00:28:34,460 --> 00:28:37,003
you picked the wrong time
to get born.
459
00:28:38,129 --> 00:28:40,089
That's my speech.
460
00:28:47,764 --> 00:28:50,934
Be notified, you are each
the guardian of your own safety.
461
00:28:50,934 --> 00:28:52,352
Maintain alert caution
462
00:28:52,352 --> 00:28:54,771
throughout the following
demonstrations.
463
00:28:55,813 --> 00:28:57,482
To Ricky Cho,
for his work in the field
464
00:28:57,482 --> 00:28:59,067
of aeronautical induction:
465
00:28:59,067 --> 00:29:01,653
the Collapsing Star
Ribbon of Success.
466
00:29:01,653 --> 00:29:04,072
To Clifford Kellogg,
for his work in the study
467
00:29:04,072 --> 00:29:07,033
of particle disintegration:
468
00:29:07,033 --> 00:29:08,993
the Black Hole Badge of Triumph.
469
00:29:08,993 --> 00:29:10,537
To Dinah Campbell...
470
00:29:10,537 --> 00:29:12,205
It's fueled by cosmic radiation
instead of sunlight.
471
00:29:12,205 --> 00:29:13,915
...for her work in the area
472
00:29:13,915 --> 00:29:15,959
of botanical acceleration...
473
00:29:15,959 --> 00:29:18,878
Unfortunately, it makes
all vegetables toxic.
474
00:29:18,878 --> 00:29:21,381
...the Red Giant Sash of Honor.
475
00:29:21,381 --> 00:29:22,882
To Shelly Borden, for her work
476
00:29:22,882 --> 00:29:24,467
in the realm
of mineral fabrication...
477
00:29:24,467 --> 00:29:26,469
I synthesized
an extraterrestrial element.
478
00:29:26,469 --> 00:29:29,138
It's going to be added
to the periodic table next year.
479
00:29:29,138 --> 00:29:31,766
...the Distant Nebula
Laurel Crown.
480
00:29:31,766 --> 00:29:34,269
To Woodrow Steenbeck...
481
00:29:35,562 --> 00:29:38,690
...for his work in the sphere
of astronomical imaging...
482
00:29:43,361 --> 00:29:45,530
It may have applications
in the development
483
00:29:45,530 --> 00:29:47,365
of interstellar advertising.
484
00:29:47,365 --> 00:29:50,034
...the White Dwarf
Medal of Achievement.
485
00:29:55,123 --> 00:29:56,541
Our tour ends here.
486
00:29:56,541 --> 00:29:58,251
Thank you for your attention,
and thank you
487
00:29:58,251 --> 00:30:00,961
to the Larkings Foundation
for their generous funding.
488
00:30:07,467 --> 00:30:09,761
-What do those pulses indicate?
-What?
489
00:30:09,761 --> 00:30:11,638
Oh, the beeps and blips?
We don't know.
490
00:30:11,638 --> 00:30:14,308
Indecipherable radio emissions
from outer space.
491
00:30:14,308 --> 00:30:16,560
-Probably a red herring.
-Does it change ever?
492
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,312
Not to my knowledge.
493
00:30:18,312 --> 00:30:20,731
-It's a date, maybe.
-It's a date?
494
00:30:20,731 --> 00:30:22,441
-On the galactic calendar.
-Maybe.
495
00:30:22,441 --> 00:30:24,735
Mary, we think it's a date
on the galactic calendar.
496
00:30:24,735 --> 00:30:26,903
What? Wow.
-Is it always today?
497
00:30:28,780 --> 00:30:30,782
♪ Yippee-yay ♪
498
00:30:30,782 --> 00:30:34,703
♪ There'll be no wedding bells
for today ♪
499
00:30:34,703 --> 00:30:38,498
♪ I got spurs that jingle,
jangle, jingle... ♪
500
00:30:38,498 --> 00:30:39,916
We thank thee for the ketchup,
501
00:30:39,916 --> 00:30:41,251
and we thank thee
for the mustard.
502
00:30:41,251 --> 00:30:42,377
We thank thee for the relish,
503
00:30:42,377 --> 00:30:44,171
and we thank thee
for the onions.
504
00:30:44,171 --> 00:30:46,214
-We thank thee for the pickles,
and we thank... -Head count.
505
00:30:46,214 --> 00:30:47,341
-One.
-Two.
506
00:30:47,341 --> 00:30:48,592
-Three.
-Four.
507
00:30:48,592 --> 00:30:50,093
-Five.
-Six.
508
00:30:50,093 --> 00:30:51,803
-Dwight? Where's Dwight?
-Eight.
509
00:30:51,803 --> 00:30:54,389
-Dwight? Dwight? -J.J.:
Less than 0.0000% chance exists
510
00:30:54,389 --> 00:30:56,600
-of extraterrestrial life
in the entire universe. -Dwight!
511
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,060
It's a scientific fact.
512
00:30:58,060 --> 00:30:59,853
Other than space bugs
and microscopic worms.
513
00:30:59,853 --> 00:31:01,521
-I assertively disagree.
-So do I.
514
00:31:01,521 --> 00:31:03,649
-It's not a scientific fact.
-It's not even a number.
515
00:31:03,649 --> 00:31:05,442
-Pass the pickles, please.
-How's the chili?
516
00:31:05,442 --> 00:31:07,235
-Fine, once you add
the hot sauce. -Thank you.
517
00:31:07,235 --> 00:31:08,695
Sparkler?
-Consider the constants:
518
00:31:08,695 --> 00:31:10,280
endless space
and immeasurable time.
519
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,616
The likelihood is increased
by a factor of infinity.
520
00:31:12,616 --> 00:31:14,743
-Where'd you get that?
-The cantina machine.
521
00:31:14,743 --> 00:31:17,621
-Where's the cantina machine?
The cantina machine?
522
00:31:17,621 --> 00:31:20,957
Can you see anything
with those on your face?
523
00:31:20,957 --> 00:31:22,376
Hmm.
524
00:31:22,376 --> 00:31:24,544
Oh, gadzooks. Wh-What'd you...
525
00:31:24,544 --> 00:31:26,087
What did you do to deserve that?
526
00:31:26,087 --> 00:31:27,546
-Nothing.
-Who hit you?
527
00:31:27,546 --> 00:31:28,798
Nobody.
528
00:31:28,798 --> 00:31:31,175
It's greasepaint,
to feel like my character.
529
00:31:31,175 --> 00:31:33,803
Oh.
How does she get a black eye?
530
00:31:33,803 --> 00:31:34,929
In the story.
531
00:31:34,929 --> 00:31:36,389
Well, she doesn't in the story.
532
00:31:36,389 --> 00:31:38,224
-It's on the inside.
-Okay.
533
00:31:38,224 --> 00:31:40,309
-It's supposed to be, anyway.
-It's on the inside. All right.
534
00:31:40,309 --> 00:31:41,977
The Larkings
Foundation claims permanent,
535
00:31:41,977 --> 00:31:43,562
-incontestable rights.
-That's right.
536
00:31:43,562 --> 00:31:45,272
-They're ours. We own them.
-Incontestable rights
537
00:31:45,272 --> 00:31:46,816
to all patents
or inventions derived
538
00:31:46,816 --> 00:31:48,484
from any and every submission,
without exception.
539
00:31:48,484 --> 00:31:50,152
Not for teenagers.
Read the fine print.
540
00:31:50,152 --> 00:31:51,904
The projects all belong
to Uncle Sam.
541
00:31:53,656 --> 00:31:55,533
I call it
"Triple Orbit and Return
542
00:31:55,533 --> 00:31:58,077
without Burning Up
in the Atmosphere."
543
00:32:06,127 --> 00:32:08,754
Why are you sitting there
all by yourself?
544
00:32:08,754 --> 00:32:10,923
-You.
-Hmm?
545
00:32:11,757 --> 00:32:13,592
Uh, are you shy?
546
00:32:13,592 --> 00:32:15,594
I'm a late bloomer.
547
00:32:15,594 --> 00:32:17,388
So I've been told by my parents.
548
00:32:17,388 --> 00:32:20,307
-Are you intimidated by us?
-No.
549
00:32:20,307 --> 00:32:22,601
Let's do a personality test.
What's your name again?
550
00:32:22,601 --> 00:32:24,270
Woodrow L. Steenbeck.
551
00:32:24,270 --> 00:32:25,813
-Hmm.
-What's the "L" for?
552
00:32:25,813 --> 00:32:28,190
Lindbergh.
-Everybody look at Woodrow.
553
00:32:32,194 --> 00:32:35,406
I agree.
Shy but not intimidated.
554
00:32:35,406 --> 00:32:37,283
Move over here, Woodrow.
555
00:32:49,627 --> 00:32:51,713
-Brainiac, huh?
-Yeah, brainiac.
556
00:32:51,713 --> 00:32:53,506
It sort of goes without saying,
doesn't it?
557
00:32:53,506 --> 00:32:55,967
Everybody already knows
we're abnormally intelligent.
558
00:32:55,967 --> 00:32:58,303
That's true.
My mother made it for me.
559
00:32:58,303 --> 00:33:00,805
It's supposed to be funny,
according to her sense of humor,
560
00:33:00,805 --> 00:33:03,099
but it's not as hilarious
as it was originally.
561
00:33:03,099 --> 00:33:04,601
Oh, really? How come?
562
00:33:04,601 --> 00:33:08,062
Because she was alive then.
Now she's dead.
563
00:33:08,062 --> 00:33:10,231
-Oh.
-Ha-ha.
564
00:33:12,567 --> 00:33:14,819
What was she like?
565
00:33:14,819 --> 00:33:17,071
My... Oh, my mother?
566
00:33:17,071 --> 00:33:19,532
She was, um...
567
00:33:23,995 --> 00:33:25,955
...like this.
568
00:33:33,713 --> 00:33:36,299
When did you lose her?
569
00:33:37,550 --> 00:33:41,679
Officially, this morning,
but I think I already knew.
570
00:33:41,679 --> 00:33:43,598
Howdy.
571
00:33:43,598 --> 00:33:45,141
What are you doing up there?
572
00:33:45,141 --> 00:33:47,477
Just enjoying the desert air.
573
00:33:47,477 --> 00:33:49,437
-You dare me?
Dare you what?
574
00:33:49,437 --> 00:33:51,523
To jump off this bungalow.
575
00:33:51,523 --> 00:33:54,484
-It's an experiment.
-No.
576
00:34:00,657 --> 00:34:02,367
I love gravity.
577
00:34:02,367 --> 00:34:05,453
It might be my favorite
law of physics at the moment.
578
00:34:06,788 --> 00:34:09,541
Players of the stage,
579
00:34:09,541 --> 00:34:12,210
a tribe of troubadours
and nonconformists.
580
00:34:12,210 --> 00:34:15,546
They lead unconventional,
sometimes dangerous lives
581
00:34:15,546 --> 00:34:18,799
which nourish and elevate
their artistic aspirations
582
00:34:18,799 --> 00:34:21,093
and illuminate
the human condition.
583
00:34:21,093 --> 00:34:23,053
ten weeks later,
584
00:34:23,053 --> 00:34:26,014
the eve of Asteroid City's
first public preview.
585
00:34:26,014 --> 00:34:28,684
A drawing room on board
the Apache Plainsliner
586
00:34:28,684 --> 00:34:30,727
bound for the California coast.
587
00:34:30,727 --> 00:34:33,105
-It's open.
588
00:34:34,773 --> 00:34:37,442
Schubert says
you got to come back.
589
00:34:38,485 --> 00:34:40,195
If I'm so important,
why isn't he here himself?
590
00:34:40,195 --> 00:34:42,281
Probably too busy. Too busy
to go chasing after you.
591
00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:43,907
They sent me.
You know who I am?
592
00:34:43,907 --> 00:34:45,492
I think so. Understudy.
593
00:34:45,492 --> 00:34:48,620
The understudy. That's right.
Let me just, uh...
594
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,165
He said, if you're crying,
I read you this one.
595
00:34:52,165 --> 00:34:53,542
No, that's not it. Here it is.
596
00:34:53,542 --> 00:34:55,502
If you're hopping mad,
I read you this one.
597
00:34:55,502 --> 00:34:56,587
Give me both.
598
00:34:56,587 --> 00:34:58,171
Not what he said.
He said, if...
599
00:34:58,171 --> 00:34:59,756
Give me both.
600
00:35:05,429 --> 00:35:07,514
"Tell her she's a stuck-up,
low-class snob
601
00:35:07,514 --> 00:35:09,182
"but she's got
no good reason to be.
602
00:35:09,182 --> 00:35:10,976
"If she sasses you,
sass her back.
603
00:35:10,976 --> 00:35:12,394
"Tell her she's
a borderline neurotic
604
00:35:12,394 --> 00:35:13,478
with an Achilles heel complex."
605
00:35:13,478 --> 00:35:15,522
That's the second one.
606
00:35:17,858 --> 00:35:20,110
"Tell her she relies on
her beauty like a wobbly crutch.
607
00:35:20,110 --> 00:35:21,403
"It's her deepest weakness.
608
00:35:21,403 --> 00:35:22,696
"Tell her
she's got the potential
609
00:35:22,696 --> 00:35:24,281
"for genuine greatness,
but I say
610
00:35:24,281 --> 00:35:27,284
with absolute certainty
she will never achieve it."
611
00:35:27,284 --> 00:35:28,952
Anything else?
612
00:35:30,787 --> 00:35:33,290
Uh-huh. He said,
if you're cool and collected,
613
00:35:33,290 --> 00:35:35,000
which I think is
what I think you seem to be,
614
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,169
then that means you probably
really don't want to come back
615
00:35:37,169 --> 00:35:38,461
and I got to give you this.
616
00:35:38,461 --> 00:35:40,254
-Read it.
-Not what he said.
617
00:35:40,254 --> 00:35:42,465
He said this one's private.
Just the two of you.
618
00:35:42,465 --> 00:35:45,134
He said that... He-he said...
619
00:35:50,932 --> 00:35:52,642
"Dear Kim, I'm sorry I shouted
620
00:35:52,642 --> 00:35:54,727
"and called you a spoiled bitch
and a minor talent
621
00:35:54,727 --> 00:35:56,896
"and broke your glasses
and threw them out the window.
622
00:35:56,896 --> 00:35:58,481
"Given that I have always
considered you
623
00:35:58,481 --> 00:36:00,149
"to be the most consummately
gifted living actress
624
00:36:00,149 --> 00:36:02,151
"and a person of great
intelligence and character,
625
00:36:02,151 --> 00:36:03,736
"these statements and actions
626
00:36:03,736 --> 00:36:05,905
"do not accurately reflect
my true feelings.
627
00:36:05,905 --> 00:36:07,531
"Yes, I may be
a manipulative snake,
628
00:36:07,531 --> 00:36:09,325
"as you once characterized me
behind my back--
629
00:36:09,325 --> 00:36:12,203
"you see, I do have my sources--
but I love you like a sister,
630
00:36:12,203 --> 00:36:14,497
"other than that one time
in the bathroom the day we met,
631
00:36:14,497 --> 00:36:17,249
"which has never been repeated,
as we both know.
632
00:36:22,463 --> 00:36:23,839
"I never meant to hurt you
633
00:36:23,839 --> 00:36:26,092
"or insult you
or offend you in any way,
634
00:36:26,092 --> 00:36:28,844
"only to try with the few tools
I have at my disposal
635
00:36:28,844 --> 00:36:31,639
"to do my job,
which is to make it work.
636
00:36:31,639 --> 00:36:32,974
"Forgive me.
637
00:36:32,974 --> 00:36:34,850
"We open tomorrow night,
with or without you.
638
00:36:34,850 --> 00:36:37,269
"Without,
our entire devoted company
639
00:36:37,269 --> 00:36:39,814
"will suffer complete disaster
and tragic calamity,
640
00:36:39,814 --> 00:36:42,984
"as will a brilliant, fragile
genius named Conrad Earp.
641
00:36:42,984 --> 00:36:46,112
"With, you will enjoy
the triumph of your career,
642
00:36:46,112 --> 00:36:48,489
"which does not matter
in the least.
643
00:36:48,489 --> 00:36:52,201
"All that matters is
every second of life onstage
644
00:36:52,201 --> 00:36:53,786
"and our friendship.
645
00:36:53,786 --> 00:36:55,204
"Your servant, your director
646
00:36:55,204 --> 00:36:57,957
"and, if I may,
your devoted mentor,
647
00:36:57,957 --> 00:36:59,709
Schubert Green."
648
00:37:06,047 --> 00:37:08,508
What's your name, understudy?
649
00:37:10,010 --> 00:37:12,679
They continued through
the night as far as Ohio,
650
00:37:12,679 --> 00:37:15,223
then disembarked
and caught the return flight
651
00:37:15,223 --> 00:37:18,226
arriving two hours
prior to curtain.
652
00:37:18,226 --> 00:37:21,354
The talented understudy
immediately replaced
653
00:37:21,354 --> 00:37:23,732
the original Woodrow.
654
00:37:24,607 --> 00:37:25,984
I strongly question
655
00:37:25,984 --> 00:37:27,485
whether your daughter's
Silly Putty
656
00:37:27,485 --> 00:37:29,112
resembles anything
from outer space.
657
00:37:29,112 --> 00:37:31,156
-It's not Silly Putty.
-I'm sorry, but I doubt it.
658
00:37:31,156 --> 00:37:32,490
It's called S'morestozium.
659
00:37:32,490 --> 00:37:33,950
-This is excellent.
-Thank you.
660
00:37:33,950 --> 00:37:35,577
It's really all
the machine's doing.
661
00:37:35,577 --> 00:37:37,704
What the devil do you know
about astrogeology anyway,
662
00:37:37,704 --> 00:37:39,330
J.J., whatever that stands for?
663
00:37:39,330 --> 00:37:40,582
I just maintain the workings.
664
00:37:40,582 --> 00:37:42,250
Shelly's thesis
is supported by...
665
00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:43,626
Flimsy, outdated evidence.
666
00:37:43,626 --> 00:37:45,253
-I beg your pardon?
-Not in my opinion.
667
00:37:45,253 --> 00:37:47,005
I liked the Silly Putty
or S'morestozium, in fact.
668
00:37:47,005 --> 00:37:48,298
I'm just quoting what he said.
669
00:37:48,298 --> 00:37:49,591
Your son's project
might very well
670
00:37:49,591 --> 00:37:51,092
have killed us all today,
by the way.
671
00:37:51,092 --> 00:37:52,719
Coming from the family
that brought us
672
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,179
-the electromagnetic death ray.
-It's a weapon.
673
00:37:54,179 --> 00:37:56,306
-Of course it's lethal.
-So you admit it.
674
00:37:56,306 --> 00:37:58,099
Not to mention Brainiac's flag.
675
00:37:58,099 --> 00:38:00,018
I mean, is he trying to provoke
World War Three or something?
676
00:38:00,018 --> 00:38:01,686
The jet propulsion belt
is eminently safe.
677
00:38:01,686 --> 00:38:03,480
I'd allow an eight-year-old boy
to operate it.
678
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,398
In fact, I did--
Ricky's cousin Chip--
679
00:38:05,398 --> 00:38:08,610
and he broke the solo flight
altitude record.
680
00:38:08,610 --> 00:38:10,361
They're strange, aren't they?
681
00:38:10,361 --> 00:38:12,238
Your children,
compared to normal people.
682
00:38:12,238 --> 00:38:13,698
-Yes.
-That's correct.
683
00:38:13,698 --> 00:38:15,658
-It's true.
-Hmm.
684
00:38:15,658 --> 00:38:17,368
After that, the second person
685
00:38:17,368 --> 00:38:19,370
says the name the first one
said, then adds another.
686
00:38:19,370 --> 00:38:21,122
Then the third person says both
plus a new name.
687
00:38:21,122 --> 00:38:23,541
And then the next person keeps
going, and so on in a circle.
688
00:38:23,541 --> 00:38:24,751
It's a memory game. Get it?
689
00:38:24,751 --> 00:38:26,043
I'll start. Cleopatra.
690
00:38:26,043 --> 00:38:27,836
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose.
691
00:38:27,836 --> 00:38:29,004
-Like that?
-Exactly.
692
00:38:29,004 --> 00:38:30,506
-Of course. Yes.
Got it.
693
00:38:30,506 --> 00:38:32,883
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
694
00:38:32,883 --> 00:38:35,177
-Antonie van Leeuwenhoek.
695
00:38:35,177 --> 00:38:36,929
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
696
00:38:36,929 --> 00:38:40,182
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus.
697
00:38:40,182 --> 00:38:41,809
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
698
00:38:41,809 --> 00:38:45,437
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus, uh, Kurt Gödel.
699
00:38:45,437 --> 00:38:46,605
Oh, the Vienna Circle.
700
00:38:46,605 --> 00:38:48,857
-The Austrian logician.
-Correct.
701
00:38:49,817 --> 00:38:51,443
Cleopatra,
702
00:38:51,443 --> 00:38:53,445
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
703
00:38:53,445 --> 00:38:55,447
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
704
00:38:55,447 --> 00:38:57,449
Paracelsus,
705
00:38:57,449 --> 00:38:59,118
Kurt Gödel,
706
00:38:59,118 --> 00:39:00,828
-William Bragg.
Which one?
707
00:39:00,828 --> 00:39:02,579
There's two.
-William Henry Bragg.
708
00:39:02,579 --> 00:39:04,623
I prefer the son.
The father's better.
709
00:39:04,623 --> 00:39:07,126
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
710
00:39:07,126 --> 00:39:09,002
-Antonie van...
Leeuwenhoek.
711
00:39:09,002 --> 00:39:11,672
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
712
00:39:11,672 --> 00:39:13,006
William Henry Bragg.
713
00:39:13,006 --> 00:39:15,092
-And the new one.
-Lord Kelvin.
714
00:39:15,092 --> 00:39:17,136
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
715
00:39:17,136 --> 00:39:19,429
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
716
00:39:19,429 --> 00:39:22,349
William Henry Bragg,
Lord Kelvin...
717
00:39:22,349 --> 00:39:24,226
Midge Campbell. Can I say her?
718
00:39:24,226 --> 00:39:26,436
As long as she's a real person,
you can say anybody you like.
719
00:39:26,436 --> 00:39:28,021
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose...
720
00:39:28,021 --> 00:39:29,690
-Including my mother.
She's my idol.
721
00:39:29,690 --> 00:39:31,942
My turn. Jagadish Chandra Bose,
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
722
00:39:31,942 --> 00:39:34,444
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
William Bragg, the father,
723
00:39:34,444 --> 00:39:36,113
Lord Kelvin,
the mathematical physicist,
724
00:39:36,113 --> 00:39:38,198
Midge Campbell, your mother,
725
00:39:38,198 --> 00:39:40,617
Konstantin Tsiolkovsky,
the rocket scientist.
726
00:39:40,617 --> 00:39:42,494
I don't know
if this game works with us.
727
00:39:42,494 --> 00:39:43,954
Uh, brainiacs, I mean.
728
00:39:43,954 --> 00:39:45,164
I-I think
it might go on forever.
729
00:39:45,164 --> 00:39:46,373
I don't mind.
730
00:39:46,373 --> 00:39:47,749
In my school, nobody'd play
731
00:39:47,749 --> 00:39:49,543
this game with me
in a million years.
732
00:39:49,543 --> 00:39:51,085
Plus, the names
would be too obvious.
733
00:39:51,085 --> 00:39:52,545
I know my next one: Diophantus.
734
00:39:52,545 --> 00:39:54,046
Wait until it's time to say it.
735
00:39:54,046 --> 00:39:56,132
Try it backwards, Brainiac.
736
00:39:56,132 --> 00:39:57,967
Say the new one first.
737
00:39:59,802 --> 00:40:02,305
Hojo Tokiyuki,
738
00:40:02,305 --> 00:40:04,390
Konstantin Tsiolkovsky,
739
00:40:04,390 --> 00:40:06,559
Midge Campbell, Lord Kelvin,
740
00:40:06,559 --> 00:40:09,103
William Henry Bragg, Kurt Gödel,
741
00:40:09,103 --> 00:40:11,480
Paracelsus,
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
742
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,774
Jagadish Chandra Bose...
743
00:40:15,318 --> 00:40:17,320
Cleopatra.
744
00:40:30,750 --> 00:40:33,753
Put out that cigarette, Dwight.
745
00:40:33,753 --> 00:40:35,213
Oh, hold on. Hold on.
746
00:40:35,213 --> 00:40:37,340
You men should be ashamed
of yourselves. Are you?
747
00:40:37,340 --> 00:40:39,050
Yes, ma'am,
but we didn't give him that.
748
00:40:39,050 --> 00:40:40,301
-Didn't you?
-That cigarette.
749
00:40:40,301 --> 00:40:41,802
He just must have got it
his own self
750
00:40:41,802 --> 00:40:43,596
-from the cigarette machine.
-Dwight!
751
00:40:47,516 --> 00:40:49,185
I almost believe you.
752
00:40:49,185 --> 00:40:50,978
Let's go.
753
00:40:52,813 --> 00:40:55,024
-So long, Dwight.
754
00:41:13,417 --> 00:41:15,502
Was I ever there?
755
00:41:16,294 --> 00:41:18,171
Was I ever there?
756
00:41:19,130 --> 00:41:22,008
Was I... ever there?
757
00:41:26,388 --> 00:41:28,181
Memorizing my lines.
758
00:41:28,181 --> 00:41:30,058
Uh-huh.
759
00:41:34,062 --> 00:41:35,563
Approved.
760
00:41:44,072 --> 00:41:48,868
♪ As I walked out in
the streets of Laredo ♪
761
00:41:48,868 --> 00:41:53,331
♪ As I walked out
in Laredo one day ♪
762
00:41:53,331 --> 00:41:55,500
♪ I spied a young cowboy... ♪
763
00:41:55,500 --> 00:41:58,253
I do a nude scene.
You want to see it?
764
00:41:59,963 --> 00:42:02,424
-Huh? Did I say yes?
-You didn't say anything.
765
00:42:02,424 --> 00:42:04,551
Uh, I meant yes. My mouth...
my mouth didn't speak.
766
00:42:04,551 --> 00:42:05,927
It's a monologue.
767
00:42:05,927 --> 00:42:08,013
Pretend it starts
when I step out of the shower.
768
00:42:08,013 --> 00:42:10,223
♪ That you are a cowboy ♪
769
00:42:10,223 --> 00:42:12,058
♪ These words he did say ♪
770
00:42:12,058 --> 00:42:15,145
-♪ As I boldly walked by ♪
771
00:42:15,145 --> 00:42:19,816
♪ Come sit down beside me
and hear my sad story ♪
772
00:42:19,816 --> 00:42:24,696
♪ I'm shot in the breast
and I know I must die... ♪
773
00:42:26,781 --> 00:42:29,034
When you first picked me out
of the secretarial pool,
774
00:42:29,034 --> 00:42:31,369
I had $111 in my bank account.
775
00:42:31,369 --> 00:42:33,204
I lived alone
with a cat and a parakeet
776
00:42:33,204 --> 00:42:34,748
in a one-room dishwater flat.
777
00:42:34,748 --> 00:42:36,958
I sold the DeSoto
to lend you the down payment
778
00:42:36,958 --> 00:42:38,459
for my engagement ring.
779
00:42:38,459 --> 00:42:39,793
It was spring.
780
00:42:39,793 --> 00:42:41,420
I'm not sore.
781
00:42:41,420 --> 00:42:43,547
I know you're a good man.
782
00:42:43,547 --> 00:42:45,007
I'm not sorry.
783
00:42:45,007 --> 00:42:47,051
I never deceived you.
784
00:42:47,051 --> 00:42:49,553
Remember me as a blur
in the rearview mirror.
785
00:42:49,553 --> 00:42:51,388
Was I ever there?
786
00:42:51,388 --> 00:42:53,474
Did you actually see me?
787
00:42:55,059 --> 00:42:57,436
I can't even see myself anymore.
788
00:42:59,688 --> 00:43:02,107
But here I am.
789
00:43:05,486 --> 00:43:07,863
Let's get divorced.
790
00:43:10,574 --> 00:43:12,284
It'll be done tastefully,
of course.
791
00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:14,953
We cut to the back of my legs
when the towel falls down.
792
00:43:17,247 --> 00:43:19,333
Sometimes they sometimes
do a stunt double.
793
00:43:19,333 --> 00:43:21,210
Sometimes.
794
00:43:21,210 --> 00:43:23,420
I don't know if I like beards,
by the way.
795
00:43:23,420 --> 00:43:24,755
Oh.
796
00:43:24,755 --> 00:43:26,465
Can I take another picture?
797
00:43:26,465 --> 00:43:28,217
Not for publication.
798
00:43:29,051 --> 00:43:30,844
I thought
you never ask permission.
799
00:43:34,890 --> 00:43:36,850
Don't move.
800
00:43:45,067 --> 00:43:47,027
I prefer to play abused,
tragic alcoholics,
801
00:43:47,027 --> 00:43:49,154
and one day, I'll probably
be discovered lifeless
802
00:43:49,154 --> 00:43:51,031
in an overflowing bathtub
with an empty bottle
803
00:43:51,031 --> 00:43:53,826
of sleeping pills spilled
all over the floor, but...
804
00:43:53,826 --> 00:43:58,038
the sad thing is I'm actually
a very gifted comedienne.
805
00:43:58,038 --> 00:44:00,165
-That's true.
-Are you married?
806
00:44:00,165 --> 00:44:02,959
I'm a widower,
but don't tell my kids.
807
00:44:02,959 --> 00:44:04,585
-Why not?
-I-I...
808
00:44:04,585 --> 00:44:06,546
-I mean, I wasn't going to.
-All right. Okay.
809
00:44:06,546 --> 00:44:08,297
-Yeah.
-Oh. I'm sorry.
810
00:44:08,297 --> 00:44:12,510
Thank you. They do know,
by the way, but just barely.
811
00:44:20,893 --> 00:44:22,228
What do you swap for
812
00:44:22,228 --> 00:44:24,272
out of this particular jukebox,
mister?
813
00:44:24,272 --> 00:44:25,940
Of course. I understand.
814
00:44:25,940 --> 00:44:27,608
This machine sells land.
815
00:44:27,608 --> 00:44:29,235
-Land, you say?
-Yes, indeed.
816
00:44:29,235 --> 00:44:31,070
The properties just beyond
these cottages, in fact.
817
00:44:31,070 --> 00:44:32,613
Out of this here
soda pop machine?
818
00:44:32,613 --> 00:44:34,073
Yes, indeed.
819
00:44:35,741 --> 00:44:37,827
Well, now, I ain't calling you
a liar to your face,
820
00:44:37,827 --> 00:44:39,912
but that sounds to me like
some kind of toadswindle.
821
00:44:39,912 --> 00:44:41,873
Of course. I understand.
It's not a toadswindle.
822
00:44:41,873 --> 00:44:43,458
You put in the money,
you receive
823
00:44:43,458 --> 00:44:45,168
a notarized deed to the land.
824
00:44:45,168 --> 00:44:46,752
How big a spread?
825
00:44:46,752 --> 00:44:48,171
For ten dollars in quarters,
826
00:44:48,171 --> 00:44:50,798
approximately half
a tennis court.
827
00:44:57,263 --> 00:45:00,266
Put the potion in it.
828
00:45:00,266 --> 00:45:02,810
Friskity, triskity,
briskity, boo.
829
00:45:02,810 --> 00:45:05,813
Knickerty, knockerty,
tockerty, too.
830
00:45:06,939 --> 00:45:12,153
And with this spell,
Mama comes back alive!
831
00:45:12,153 --> 00:45:14,864
God save these bones.
832
00:45:21,454 --> 00:45:23,498
What's in the Tupperware?
833
00:45:23,498 --> 00:45:25,208
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
834
00:45:25,208 --> 00:45:28,168
♪ Going so fast... ♪
835
00:45:28,168 --> 00:45:30,587
He finally told you.
836
00:45:31,546 --> 00:45:34,216
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
837
00:45:34,216 --> 00:45:38,512
♪ Won't you tell me
where's he gone... ♪
838
00:45:41,973 --> 00:45:43,808
Who's this old man?
839
00:45:43,808 --> 00:45:45,519
Poppy, I think.
840
00:45:45,519 --> 00:45:47,145
You don't remember me.
841
00:45:47,145 --> 00:45:49,314
I remember his smell.
842
00:45:56,488 --> 00:45:58,532
We're not going to abandon
my daughter
843
00:45:58,532 --> 00:46:00,408
at a motel
in the middle of the desert
844
00:46:00,408 --> 00:46:03,537
buried next to
the communal showers.
845
00:46:04,746 --> 00:46:06,915
-You're ruining the funeral!
-He's making her go to hell!
846
00:46:06,915 --> 00:46:10,502
If you torture us,
we'll sacrifice you.
847
00:46:10,502 --> 00:46:12,087
I understand.
848
00:46:12,087 --> 00:46:15,549
Thank you for your clarity.
849
00:46:15,549 --> 00:46:17,801
I'll tell you what--
let's leave her
850
00:46:17,801 --> 00:46:19,761
alone in the ground
until tomorrow morning.
851
00:46:19,761 --> 00:46:21,388
Then we'll exhume
the Tupperware,
852
00:46:21,388 --> 00:46:23,306
bring her with us
in the Cadillac
853
00:46:23,306 --> 00:46:25,600
and bury her again this weekend
in the backyard
854
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,310
next to the seventh hole
at Rancho Palms,
855
00:46:27,310 --> 00:46:29,563
where I live in a beautiful
house with a swimming pool.
856
00:46:29,563 --> 00:46:30,855
Agreed?
857
00:46:30,855 --> 00:46:32,816
-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.
858
00:46:34,025 --> 00:46:36,111
Let's hope a coyote doesn't
dig her up in the meantime.
859
00:46:36,111 --> 00:46:37,988
Nothing we can do about it
anyway.
860
00:46:39,531 --> 00:46:41,783
Ooh. Look at that.
861
00:46:56,964 --> 00:46:58,841
Tonight, you're in
for a real treat.
862
00:46:58,841 --> 00:47:00,801
I don't know how many of you
ever observed
863
00:47:00,801 --> 00:47:02,595
an astronomical ellipses before.
864
00:47:02,595 --> 00:47:05,431
In fact, can we get
a show of hands?
865
00:47:06,432 --> 00:47:07,850
Nobody?
866
00:47:07,850 --> 00:47:09,727
Wow. Okay.
867
00:47:09,727 --> 00:47:13,564
Well, what you're gonna see
is a very simple dot-dot-dot:
868
00:47:13,564 --> 00:47:16,233
three pinpoints of light
inside your refracting box,
869
00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:18,569
which may not sound
very exciting at first,
870
00:47:18,569 --> 00:47:20,070
until you consider
how those dots
871
00:47:20,070 --> 00:47:21,447
managed to transmit themselves
872
00:47:21,447 --> 00:47:23,365
across a thousand billion miles
of space
873
00:47:23,365 --> 00:47:26,452
onto that little scrap
of black cardboard.
874
00:47:26,452 --> 00:47:28,162
Twice every 57 years,
875
00:47:28,162 --> 00:47:29,997
when the Earth,
the sun, the moon
876
00:47:29,997 --> 00:47:31,665
and the galactic plane
of the Milky Way
877
00:47:31,665 --> 00:47:34,585
all combobulate along the same
angle of orbital interest,
878
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:38,130
the radiant energy of three
neighboring stellar systems
879
00:47:38,130 --> 00:47:39,923
induces a parallel
ecliptic transit,
880
00:47:39,923 --> 00:47:41,759
thus all but proving
881
00:47:41,759 --> 00:47:44,136
the hypothesis
of celestial flirtation.
882
00:47:44,136 --> 00:47:47,097
The hitch, of course,
is that the math doesn't work.
883
00:47:47,097 --> 00:47:48,807
But maybe one of you one day
884
00:47:48,807 --> 00:47:51,060
will be the genius
who solves that problem.
885
00:47:51,060 --> 00:47:54,104
The event will begin
in 30 seconds.
886
00:47:54,104 --> 00:47:56,273
Remember, if you look directly
at the ellipses
887
00:47:56,273 --> 00:47:57,900
rather than through
your refracting box,
888
00:47:57,900 --> 00:47:59,777
not only will you
not actually see the effect
889
00:47:59,777 --> 00:48:01,278
but you will burn the dots
890
00:48:01,278 --> 00:48:03,155
straight into your retina,
probably permanently.
891
00:48:03,155 --> 00:48:05,532
I know that for a fact, because
they're still burned into mine
892
00:48:05,532 --> 00:48:07,493
from when I was 11 going on 12.
893
00:48:07,493 --> 00:48:10,120
That's when I realized
I wanted to be an astronomer,
894
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:11,413
which is another story.
895
00:48:11,413 --> 00:48:12,581
Here we go.
896
00:48:38,981 --> 00:48:40,525
There it is.
897
00:48:42,151 --> 00:48:43,820
Uh, these are just such
898
00:48:43,820 --> 00:48:45,780
marvelously luminous colors,
aren't they?
899
00:48:45,780 --> 00:48:47,990
Very exciting.
Does everybody see it?
900
00:48:47,990 --> 00:48:50,451
I don't. I just see a staple.
901
00:48:54,455 --> 00:48:56,416
Yipe! It works.
902
00:48:57,250 --> 00:48:58,876
Are you Shelly?
903
00:48:58,876 --> 00:49:00,086
Yeah.
904
00:49:00,086 --> 00:49:02,547
I'm your idol. What's your rank?
905
00:49:02,547 --> 00:49:04,590
Commanding secretary.
906
00:49:04,590 --> 00:49:06,300
I was a Cookie Trooper myself.
907
00:49:06,300 --> 00:49:07,760
Really? Wow.
908
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,388
What'll they say in Squad 75?
909
00:49:13,933 --> 00:49:15,560
Hmm?
910
00:51:57,219 --> 00:52:01,265
The, uh, alien
stole the asteroid.
911
00:52:15,279 --> 00:52:19,074
Schubert Green,
born Shylock Grzworvszowski.
912
00:52:19,074 --> 00:52:20,784
Director, immigrant.
913
00:52:20,784 --> 00:52:24,914
Known for his limitless energy,
his voracious enthusiasms--
914
00:52:24,914 --> 00:52:27,332
a well-known actress
described him sexually
915
00:52:27,332 --> 00:52:30,126
as an animal,
specifically a rabbit--
916
00:52:30,126 --> 00:52:33,796
and his long, deep
and intimate relationship
917
00:52:33,796 --> 00:52:36,049
with success.
918
00:52:36,049 --> 00:52:38,051
What do you think, Lunky?
919
00:52:38,051 --> 00:52:40,219
Good.
920
00:52:44,891 --> 00:52:47,101
I'm not going to ask
what the hell's going on here.
921
00:52:47,101 --> 00:52:50,480
His wife Polly left him
for an all-star second baseman
922
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,149
during the first week
of rehearsals.
923
00:52:53,149 --> 00:52:55,109
My living quarters.
924
00:52:55,109 --> 00:52:56,986
♪ Oh, Rose ♪
925
00:52:56,986 --> 00:52:59,322
♪ My Rose Marie... ♪
926
00:52:59,322 --> 00:53:00,823
Sign this.
927
00:53:00,823 --> 00:53:02,659
Oh, no.
928
00:53:04,035 --> 00:53:06,829
It's Clark's report card.
929
00:53:06,829 --> 00:53:08,998
Uh-huh. What'd you think it was?
930
00:53:08,998 --> 00:53:11,417
I thought maybe
we were already divorced.
931
00:53:11,417 --> 00:53:12,669
Oh.
932
00:53:12,669 --> 00:53:14,963
Not yet, but eventually.
933
00:53:14,963 --> 00:53:17,674
He made the honor roll again.
934
00:53:17,674 --> 00:53:22,011
♪ Oh, Rose Marie ♪
935
00:53:22,011 --> 00:53:25,390
♪ I love you ♪
936
00:53:25,390 --> 00:53:28,601
♪ I'm always dreaming... ♪
937
00:53:31,062 --> 00:53:33,064
I'm staying at
Diego's penthouse.
938
00:53:33,064 --> 00:53:35,775
Clark's at my mother's.
The apartment's empty.
939
00:53:35,775 --> 00:53:37,443
Why don't you just go home?
940
00:53:37,443 --> 00:53:40,238
I don't think I should be alone
in a building with real windows.
941
00:53:43,658 --> 00:53:45,702
Makeup cuts my hair
and shaves me.
942
00:53:45,702 --> 00:53:48,037
Costumes washes my dungarees.
943
00:53:48,037 --> 00:53:51,415
This is where I belong, for now.
944
00:53:51,415 --> 00:53:53,000
Much better.
945
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,168
-Did you do the green?
-Hmm.
946
00:53:58,463 --> 00:54:00,882
It's been a great ten years,
Schubert.
947
00:54:00,882 --> 00:54:03,135
I don't regret a second of it.
948
00:54:03,135 --> 00:54:05,554
Clark still loves you.
949
00:54:05,554 --> 00:54:07,639
I still love you.
950
00:54:07,639 --> 00:54:09,474
But not like before?
951
00:54:10,392 --> 00:54:12,602
But not like before.
952
00:54:20,652 --> 00:54:22,654
Schubert Green lived
in the scenic bay
953
00:54:22,654 --> 00:54:24,072
of the Tarkington Theater
954
00:54:24,072 --> 00:54:28,035
for all 785 performances
of Asteroid City.
955
00:54:28,035 --> 00:54:29,578
Dark nights, he stayed
956
00:54:29,578 --> 00:54:32,205
in the Governor's Suite
of the Nebraska Hotel.
957
00:54:32,205 --> 00:54:34,124
One last note.
958
00:54:34,124 --> 00:54:37,419
When Midge makes her exit
in Act Three, Scene Five,
959
00:54:37,419 --> 00:54:40,756
try having her say the line
after she closes the door.
960
00:54:40,756 --> 00:54:44,342
Hmm. Maybe we are doomed.
961
00:54:44,342 --> 00:54:45,886
I will.
962
00:54:45,886 --> 00:54:51,266
♪ My Rose Marie. ♪
963
00:54:51,266 --> 00:54:52,851
Goodbye.
964
00:55:39,063 --> 00:55:40,981
Here he comes.
965
00:55:41,816 --> 00:55:43,943
I've just informed
the president.
966
00:55:43,943 --> 00:55:46,112
He authorized me to read
and implement the provisions
967
00:55:46,112 --> 00:55:48,322
of National Security
Emergency Scrimmage Plan X.
968
00:55:48,322 --> 00:55:50,032
Here I go.
969
00:55:50,032 --> 00:55:51,659
"The following
top secret directive
970
00:55:51,659 --> 00:55:54,954
was mandated into law
on July 1, 1950."
971
00:55:54,954 --> 00:55:56,664
"In the event
of unforeseen engagement
972
00:55:56,664 --> 00:55:58,958
"with intelligent life-form
or forms from any planet
973
00:55:58,958 --> 00:56:00,835
"not specifically defined
as our Earth,
974
00:56:00,835 --> 00:56:03,170
"be advised to initiate
the following protocols:
975
00:56:03,170 --> 00:56:05,172
"One, confirm said life-form
976
00:56:05,172 --> 00:56:06,841
"is not operating
under the guidance
977
00:56:06,841 --> 00:56:08,509
of any hostile foreign
terrestrial government."
978
00:56:08,509 --> 00:56:10,177
No, I don't think
he's working for the Russians
979
00:56:10,177 --> 00:56:11,762
or the Red Chinese,
but you never know.
980
00:56:11,762 --> 00:56:13,472
He certainly didn't give me
that impression.
981
00:56:13,472 --> 00:56:16,058
"Two, confirm the life-form
does not intend to annex,
982
00:56:16,058 --> 00:56:18,435
"colonize, vaporize
or expropriate the resources
983
00:56:18,435 --> 00:56:21,063
of the sovereign territories of
the United States of America."
984
00:56:21,063 --> 00:56:23,274
I doubt it.
He took the asteroid and went.
985
00:56:23,274 --> 00:56:25,484
"Three, identify and detain
all possible witnesses
986
00:56:25,484 --> 00:56:26,902
"and place them
under group arrest
987
00:56:26,902 --> 00:56:28,571
"for a period
of no less than one week--
988
00:56:28,571 --> 00:56:29,989
"defined as
seven calendar days--
989
00:56:29,989 --> 00:56:31,532
"during which time
they be subjected
990
00:56:31,532 --> 00:56:33,492
"to a prescribed battery
of medical and psychological
991
00:56:33,492 --> 00:56:35,286
examinations
and cross-examinations."
992
00:56:35,286 --> 00:56:37,371
Standard procedure.
Already in the works.
993
00:56:37,371 --> 00:56:38,831
"Four, secure the site,
994
00:56:38,831 --> 00:56:40,373
"cease the dissemination
of information,
995
00:56:40,373 --> 00:56:42,208
"collect and transport
the totality of evidence
996
00:56:42,208 --> 00:56:43,543
"to a hermetically enclosed,
997
00:56:43,543 --> 00:56:44,961
"deep-underground
secret storage facility
998
00:56:44,961 --> 00:56:46,963
"and publicly deny
all aspects of the event,
999
00:56:46,963 --> 00:56:49,048
"including its existence,
for a period of no less than
1000
00:56:49,048 --> 00:56:51,926
100 years--
defined as 36,500 days."
1001
00:56:51,926 --> 00:56:53,595
End of directive.
1002
00:56:53,595 --> 00:56:55,013
-That's pretty clear.
-Huh.
1003
00:56:55,013 --> 00:56:56,431
-What do we tell them?
-Who?
1004
00:56:56,431 --> 00:56:57,640
The Junior Stargazers,
1005
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,017
the Space Cadets,
the moms and dads.
1006
00:56:59,017 --> 00:57:01,394
-Midge Campbell.
Midge Campbell.
1007
00:57:01,394 --> 00:57:03,146
Tell them it didn't happen?
1008
00:57:04,689 --> 00:57:06,941
No, obviously,
we'll have to formulate
1009
00:57:06,941 --> 00:57:09,569
a suitable cover story.
1010
00:57:11,905 --> 00:57:13,740
You dare me?
1011
00:57:15,408 --> 00:57:17,994
-Dare you what?
-To press that button.
1012
00:57:19,245 --> 00:57:21,414
I will break your neck.
1013
00:57:21,414 --> 00:57:22,999
That's an alien eating an apple.
1014
00:57:22,999 --> 00:57:24,334
That's an alien
doing jumping jacks.
1015
00:57:24,334 --> 00:57:25,627
That's an alien in a top hat.
1016
00:57:25,627 --> 00:57:27,253
That's an alien
climbing a ladder.
1017
00:57:27,253 --> 00:57:28,796
That's an alien on a racehorse.
That's an alien...
1018
00:57:28,796 --> 00:57:30,423
Let's take it from the top.
1019
00:57:30,423 --> 00:57:33,176
I told you 50 times, the alien
picked up the asteroid...
1020
00:57:33,176 --> 00:57:34,886
-Alleged alien.
-I know what I saw!
1021
00:57:34,886 --> 00:57:36,471
-It's called a meteorite.
-An extraterrestrial being.
1022
00:57:36,471 --> 00:57:38,139
This is a microfiche
of your school newspaper.
1023
00:57:38,139 --> 00:57:39,891
Your byline accompanies
an article criticizing
1024
00:57:39,891 --> 00:57:41,893
the principal's
disciplinary methods.
1025
00:57:41,893 --> 00:57:44,229
-Who were your sources?
-I was in the sixth grade.
1026
00:57:44,229 --> 00:57:46,439
-Just answer the question.
-And I will not name names!
1027
00:57:50,610 --> 00:57:52,278
-You dared me!
-What did I say?
1028
00:57:52,278 --> 00:57:54,155
-What did I say?
-You dared me!
1029
00:58:02,830 --> 00:58:05,415
All right. Um...
1030
00:58:05,415 --> 00:58:08,752
♪ When I'm calling you... ♪
1031
00:58:08,752 --> 00:58:10,379
I'm going to attempt to proceed
1032
00:58:10,379 --> 00:58:12,547
with the lesson plan
I originally prepared.
1033
00:58:12,547 --> 00:58:14,633
Just to keep orderliness
under the circumstances.
1034
00:58:14,633 --> 00:58:16,051
I expect that some...
1035
00:58:16,051 --> 00:58:17,719
some of our information
about outer space
1036
00:58:17,719 --> 00:58:19,346
may no longer be
completely accurate,
1037
00:58:19,346 --> 00:58:21,974
but, anyway, there are still
only nine planets
1038
00:58:21,974 --> 00:58:24,101
in the solar system,
as far as we know. Billy?
1039
00:58:24,101 --> 00:58:26,103
Except now there's a alien.
1040
00:58:26,937 --> 00:58:29,106
True, by all appearances.
1041
00:58:29,106 --> 00:58:30,565
Nevertheless, Neptune:
1042
00:58:30,565 --> 00:58:32,150
Fourth largest planet
by diameter,
1043
00:58:32,150 --> 00:58:35,070
Neptune orbits the sun
only once every 165 years.
1044
00:58:35,070 --> 00:58:36,154
Bernice?
1045
00:58:36,154 --> 00:58:38,824
Maybe the alien went there.
1046
00:58:38,824 --> 00:58:40,826
Well, maybe.
1047
00:58:40,826 --> 00:58:42,577
I don't think anybody knows
1048
00:58:42,577 --> 00:58:44,788
where the alien went
or came from.
1049
00:58:44,788 --> 00:58:46,248
Yes, Dwight?
1050
00:58:46,248 --> 00:58:48,000
At first, I thought the alien
was kind of sneaky,
1051
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,502
but now I think he was probably
nervous to go to Earth.
1052
00:58:50,502 --> 00:58:52,504
He's never been here before,
I bet you.
1053
00:58:52,504 --> 00:58:54,006
Then why'd he steal
our asteroid, then,
1054
00:58:54,006 --> 00:58:55,340
if he's such a gentleman?
1055
00:58:55,340 --> 00:58:57,259
These are all
reasonable questions,
1056
00:58:57,259 --> 00:58:59,344
but at this time,
let's stick to Neptune
1057
00:58:59,344 --> 00:59:01,555
because I haven't had time
to prepare any lesson plan
1058
00:59:01,555 --> 00:59:03,098
on this subject
we're talking about.
1059
00:59:03,098 --> 00:59:04,433
The alien.
1060
00:59:04,433 --> 00:59:06,184
The alien, yes.
1061
00:59:07,352 --> 00:59:09,938
And, by the way, I don't mean
to evade your questions.
1062
00:59:09,938 --> 00:59:11,815
I want to emphasize
that you're safe.
1063
00:59:11,815 --> 00:59:13,442
We all are, here on Earth.
1064
00:59:13,442 --> 00:59:16,069
Your parents have been notified
of at least something.
1065
00:59:16,069 --> 00:59:18,947
-America remains at peace.
1066
00:59:18,947 --> 00:59:20,991
Yes, Montana?
1067
00:59:20,991 --> 00:59:24,202
I'd like to parley a notion
myself, if I could, June.
1068
00:59:24,202 --> 00:59:26,330
Um...
1069
00:59:26,330 --> 00:59:28,039
Okay.
1070
00:59:33,294 --> 00:59:35,129
I figure this here alien
come from a tribe
1071
00:59:35,129 --> 00:59:37,048
we don't know
nothing 'bout, do we?
1072
00:59:37,048 --> 00:59:39,800
Anything we say'd
just be pure speculation.
1073
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:41,886
But I tell you what I reckon.
1074
00:59:41,886 --> 00:59:45,306
I reckon that alien
don't mean no harm at all.
1075
00:59:45,306 --> 00:59:47,099
I reckon he just
took hisself down here
1076
00:59:47,099 --> 00:59:50,061
to have a look-see at the land
and the peoples on it.
1077
00:59:50,061 --> 00:59:52,396
In the spirit of exploration.
1078
00:59:52,396 --> 00:59:55,775
See, I don't look on a feller
alien all suspicious-like.
1079
00:59:55,775 --> 00:59:57,693
No, he ain't American.
1080
00:59:57,693 --> 01:00:00,071
No, he ain't a creature
of God's green Earth.
1081
01:00:00,071 --> 01:00:04,200
But he's a creature
of somewheres, and so are we.
1082
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:07,787
Now, let's show the old feller
some hospitality,
1083
01:00:07,787 --> 01:00:10,081
and if he turns out
to be a dirty dog--
1084
01:00:10,081 --> 01:00:11,749
which I reckon he ain't--
1085
01:00:11,749 --> 01:00:14,168
well, that'll be a job for
the United States armed forces,
1086
01:00:14,168 --> 01:00:16,420
and they ain't never
lost a war yet.
1087
01:00:18,672 --> 01:00:20,549
Thanky-do.
1088
01:00:22,176 --> 01:00:24,261
I agree with Montana.
1089
01:00:24,261 --> 01:00:26,931
Now, Neptune.
1090
01:00:30,851 --> 01:00:33,479
♪ Tell me, where do they go? ♪
1091
01:00:35,606 --> 01:00:37,108
♪ The smoke rings... ♪
1092
01:00:37,108 --> 01:00:38,901
Which way did he go?
1093
01:00:38,901 --> 01:00:42,321
Hmm. Well, I think
he went from here
1094
01:00:42,321 --> 01:00:45,783
to here to here to...
1095
01:00:45,783 --> 01:00:47,118
I don't know where.
1096
01:00:47,118 --> 01:00:48,994
My mother couldn't remember
which was which,
1097
01:00:48,994 --> 01:00:50,788
so she made up
her own constellations.
1098
01:00:50,788 --> 01:00:53,623
That one's the Coat Hanger.
That one's the Leaky Faucet.
1099
01:00:53,623 --> 01:00:55,583
Over there's
Fried Egg with Spatula.
1100
01:00:55,583 --> 01:00:58,336
My mother is a constellation,
or-or at least part of one.
1101
01:00:58,336 --> 01:01:00,713
A Swiss scientist named
a hypothetical star after her.
1102
01:01:00,713 --> 01:01:01,965
Really? What's it called?
1103
01:01:01,965 --> 01:01:03,425
Midge Campbell X-9 Major.
1104
01:01:03,425 --> 01:01:05,176
Midge Campbell X-9...
I'm gonna look it up.
1105
01:01:05,176 --> 01:01:07,429
Is she interested
in astronomy-- your mother?
1106
01:01:07,429 --> 01:01:09,597
Not exactly.
She's interested in stardom.
1107
01:01:09,597 --> 01:01:11,391
I don't mean that
as a criticism, by the way.
1108
01:01:11,391 --> 01:01:12,976
It's her job to be famous.
1109
01:01:12,976 --> 01:01:15,645
Anyway, I'm sick of her face,
but I love her voice.
1110
01:01:15,645 --> 01:01:17,439
She should do more radio.
1111
01:01:18,314 --> 01:01:19,607
I never had children.
1112
01:01:19,607 --> 01:01:22,569
Sometimes I wonder
if I wish I should've.
1113
01:01:22,569 --> 01:01:25,155
I discovered a hypothetical star
myself, by the way.
1114
01:01:25,155 --> 01:01:26,823
-Ooh. Where is it?
-Which one?
1115
01:01:26,823 --> 01:01:29,909
Right there. Partly blocked
by that burnt-out light bulb.
1116
01:01:39,252 --> 01:01:41,921
-Uh...
1117
01:01:41,921 --> 01:01:44,757
-What happened?
-I don't know.
1118
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,727
-Oh.
-Uh...
1119
01:01:56,603 --> 01:01:58,605
After you.
1120
01:02:05,820 --> 01:02:08,406
Sometimes I think
I'd feel more at home
1121
01:02:08,406 --> 01:02:10,825
outside the Earth's atmosphere.
1122
01:02:14,245 --> 01:02:15,830
Oh, wow.
1123
01:02:15,830 --> 01:02:17,581
Me, too.
1124
01:02:23,712 --> 01:02:25,130
Did it come out?
1125
01:02:25,130 --> 01:02:28,926
♪ Some people say a man... ♪
1126
01:02:28,926 --> 01:02:30,469
-I mean the other one.
-Oh.
1127
01:02:30,469 --> 01:02:33,805
♪ A poor man's made
out of muscle and blood ♪
1128
01:02:33,805 --> 01:02:36,642
♪ Muscle and blood
and skin and bones ♪
1129
01:02:36,642 --> 01:02:40,562
♪ A mind that's weak
and a back that's strong... ♪
1130
01:02:41,396 --> 01:02:42,773
Okay.
1131
01:02:43,732 --> 01:02:46,068
♪ Another day older
and deeper in debt ♪
1132
01:02:46,068 --> 01:02:49,404
♪ Saint Peter, don't you
call me, 'cause I can't go ♪
1133
01:02:49,404 --> 01:02:50,822
You feel different?
1134
01:02:50,822 --> 01:02:53,784
♪ I owe my soul
to the company store... ♪
1135
01:02:53,784 --> 01:02:55,994
Hey. You feel different?
1136
01:02:57,037 --> 01:02:59,498
I don't feel anything at all.
1137
01:02:59,498 --> 01:03:01,750
-Me, neither.
-Hmm.
1138
01:03:04,002 --> 01:03:05,712
I'm not a good mother.
1139
01:03:05,712 --> 01:03:07,047
Uh-huh.
1140
01:03:07,047 --> 01:03:08,840
I love my daughter,
but I'm not a good mother
1141
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:11,093
because, unfortunately for her,
she's not my first priority.
1142
01:03:11,093 --> 01:03:12,553
On account of
there's always already
1143
01:03:12,553 --> 01:03:13,887
the thing I plan to do next.
1144
01:03:13,887 --> 01:03:16,431
I love my daughter,
by the way. I-I...
1145
01:03:16,431 --> 01:03:18,183
I love all my children.
1146
01:03:18,183 --> 01:03:20,811
We have a magical time
when we're together.
1147
01:03:20,811 --> 01:03:22,563
I have another girl and a boy.
1148
01:03:22,563 --> 01:03:24,523
They live with
my second ex-husband in Utah.
1149
01:03:24,523 --> 01:03:26,608
-Uh-huh.
-He rarely sees them, either.
1150
01:03:26,608 --> 01:03:28,860
-Mm-hmm.
-I wish I felt guilty at least,
1151
01:03:28,860 --> 01:03:30,612
but I don't experience
that emotion,
1152
01:03:30,612 --> 01:03:32,155
if I understand it correctly.
1153
01:03:32,155 --> 01:03:33,782
-Yes.
-I've played it, of course.
1154
01:03:33,782 --> 01:03:35,450
So you're saying you never
feel guilty in real life?
1155
01:03:35,450 --> 01:03:36,910
Not to my knowledge.
1156
01:03:36,910 --> 01:03:39,121
I think because of my history
with violent men.
1157
01:03:39,121 --> 01:03:43,708
Starting with my father,
brother and uncles.
1158
01:03:43,708 --> 01:03:47,712
There's always already the thing
I plan to do next, too.
1159
01:03:47,712 --> 01:03:49,255
Usually, it's a war.
1160
01:03:49,255 --> 01:03:51,465
Nobody can compete with that,
can they?
1161
01:03:51,465 --> 01:03:53,217
Probably not.
1162
01:03:53,217 --> 01:03:54,885
I did a USO tour once.
1163
01:03:54,885 --> 01:03:56,596
It was thrilling.
1164
01:03:57,554 --> 01:04:00,850
♪ I owe my soul
to the company store... ♪
1165
01:04:02,059 --> 01:04:04,979
-I think I see how I see us.
-Hmm?
1166
01:04:04,979 --> 01:04:08,024
I mean, I think I know now
what I realize we are.
1167
01:04:08,024 --> 01:04:09,233
Okay.
1168
01:04:09,233 --> 01:04:10,818
Two catastrophically
wounded people
1169
01:04:10,818 --> 01:04:13,821
who don't express the depths
of their pain because...
1170
01:04:13,821 --> 01:04:15,197
we don't want to.
1171
01:04:15,197 --> 01:04:16,657
That's our connection.
1172
01:04:16,657 --> 01:04:18,701
Do you agree?
1173
01:04:20,536 --> 01:04:22,705
Uh-huh.
1174
01:04:23,706 --> 01:04:25,249
Let's, um...
1175
01:04:25,249 --> 01:04:28,544
Let's change the subject,
shall we?
1176
01:04:29,587 --> 01:04:31,047
It's open.
1177
01:04:34,258 --> 01:04:36,886
-Hello?
In here.
1178
01:04:40,014 --> 01:04:41,682
Hello? Hello.
1179
01:04:41,682 --> 01:04:43,267
I'm just your neighbor,
Stanley Zak.
1180
01:04:43,267 --> 01:04:45,102
I wanted to make sure
you and your daughter
1181
01:04:45,102 --> 01:04:47,063
have everything you might need
at the moment.
1182
01:04:47,063 --> 01:04:48,564
Thank you. I think so.
1183
01:04:48,564 --> 01:04:50,816
What a strange experience
this is, isn't it?
1184
01:04:50,816 --> 01:04:53,361
I went to law school with
your former agent, by the way.
1185
01:04:53,361 --> 01:04:55,196
-Mort?
-Mort. Yes, Mort.
1186
01:04:55,196 --> 01:04:56,405
Oh.
1187
01:04:57,782 --> 01:04:59,450
That came out.
1188
01:04:59,450 --> 01:05:02,411
Yeah, it came out.
All my pictures come out.
1189
01:05:03,704 --> 01:05:08,041
Anyway, as I say,
we're just across the driveway,
1190
01:05:08,041 --> 01:05:10,794
as my son-in-law seems
to have established.
1191
01:05:10,794 --> 01:05:13,171
Send my best wishes to Mort
and his family.
1192
01:05:13,171 --> 01:05:14,589
I will, if and when
we're permitted
1193
01:05:14,589 --> 01:05:16,132
contact with the outside world,
1194
01:05:16,132 --> 01:05:19,135
though I don't speak to him,
to tell you the truth.
1195
01:05:20,011 --> 01:05:22,013
I love your hairdo like that.
1196
01:05:22,013 --> 01:05:23,848
Ugh, Christ.
1197
01:05:26,226 --> 01:05:28,103
You see
that wonderful crackly-patch
1198
01:05:28,103 --> 01:05:29,729
right out there
between the dead cactuses
1199
01:05:29,729 --> 01:05:31,064
and the dried-up riverbed?
1200
01:05:31,064 --> 01:05:32,607
-I think so.
-That's your parcel.
1201
01:05:32,607 --> 01:05:34,234
How much of it do I own?
1202
01:05:34,234 --> 01:05:35,777
Well, it's actually
an interesting
1203
01:05:35,777 --> 01:05:37,237
financial mechanism.
1204
01:05:37,237 --> 01:05:39,572
You don't technically own
anything outright.
1205
01:05:39,572 --> 01:05:42,367
You own stock in the town
in the form of a loan
1206
01:05:42,367 --> 01:05:43,702
with a 50-year maturity rate.
1207
01:05:43,702 --> 01:05:44,911
Then, at the end,
the loan is forgiven.
1208
01:05:44,911 --> 01:05:46,246
-You dare me?
-How about water?
1209
01:05:46,246 --> 01:05:47,706
Of course. I understand.
1210
01:05:47,706 --> 01:05:49,666
There isn't any.
This is a desert opportunity.
1211
01:05:49,666 --> 01:05:51,084
-You dare me?
-I heard you.
1212
01:05:51,084 --> 01:05:52,711
-It's an experiment.
-I don't care anymore.
1213
01:05:52,711 --> 01:05:54,921
I dare you or I don't dare you.
It doesn't matter.
1214
01:05:54,921 --> 01:05:57,173
Do what you wish. I give up.
1215
01:06:06,182 --> 01:06:08,017
What's the cause?
1216
01:06:08,017 --> 01:06:09,519
What's the meaning?
1217
01:06:09,519 --> 01:06:12,188
Why do you always
have to dare something?
1218
01:06:16,025 --> 01:06:17,861
I don't know.
1219
01:06:19,279 --> 01:06:22,949
Maybe it's because I'm afraid,
1220
01:06:22,949 --> 01:06:27,078
otherwise, nobody'll...
1221
01:06:27,078 --> 01:06:32,791
notice my existence
1222
01:06:32,791 --> 01:06:35,085
in the universe.
1223
01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:46,221
Dare you what?
1224
01:06:46,221 --> 01:06:49,266
Yes, dare you what?
1225
01:06:49,266 --> 01:06:50,976
To climb that cactus out there.
1226
01:06:50,976 --> 01:06:52,728
-Lord, no. No.
-Please don't.
1227
01:06:55,522 --> 01:06:57,149
Hello.
1228
01:06:57,149 --> 01:06:58,859
Hello. Hello.
1229
01:06:58,859 --> 01:07:01,236
We met before. I'm the mother
of that Cookie Trooper
1230
01:07:01,236 --> 01:07:02,988
-who idolizes you.
-I know.
1231
01:07:02,988 --> 01:07:05,991
Thought you might not
recognize me out of uniform.
1232
01:07:05,991 --> 01:07:07,618
You were very good in the one
1233
01:07:07,618 --> 01:07:09,411
about the tramp in the brothel
who gets amnesia
1234
01:07:09,411 --> 01:07:11,079
-and becomes a pediatrician.
-Thank you. Thank you.
1235
01:07:11,079 --> 01:07:12,706
-You were very authentic.
-That's actually maybe
1236
01:07:12,706 --> 01:07:14,082
my favorite character
I've ever played.
1237
01:07:14,082 --> 01:07:15,793
I don't know why
nobody else liked it.
1238
01:07:15,793 --> 01:07:17,503
Oh. Yes. Me, neither.
1239
01:07:17,503 --> 01:07:19,254
Thank you. Some people liked it.
1240
01:07:19,254 --> 01:07:21,215
Oh, I'm sure. I did.
1241
01:07:21,215 --> 01:07:23,133
Who hit you?
1242
01:07:26,929 --> 01:07:29,640
Am I not in this?
1243
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:33,811
Excuse me. I'm not in this.
1244
01:07:33,811 --> 01:07:35,354
Um, who hit you?
1245
01:07:35,354 --> 01:07:37,523
-It's on the other eye.
-It's greasepaint.
1246
01:07:37,523 --> 01:07:39,191
Some people did-- do-- liked it.
1247
01:07:39,191 --> 01:07:40,859
Oh, I'm sure.
1248
01:07:40,859 --> 01:07:43,737
I thought it might have been
your second ex-husband in Utah.
1249
01:07:55,957 --> 01:07:58,084
If I sleep on a cot
instead of the sofa bed,
1250
01:07:58,084 --> 01:07:59,669
that might leave room
for me to set up
1251
01:07:59,669 --> 01:08:01,337
-a darkroom in the pool house.
1252
01:08:01,337 --> 01:08:02,713
Is that possible
as a compromise?
1253
01:08:02,713 --> 01:08:04,382
-It depends on the measurements.
1254
01:08:04,382 --> 01:08:05,967
-It's not that big. -I can
actually carpool the girls
1255
01:08:05,967 --> 01:08:08,135
to school by golf cart,
you know.
1256
01:08:08,135 --> 01:08:09,637
If I cut across the 14th tee.
1257
01:08:09,637 --> 01:08:11,180
Oh, it's that close
to the elementary?
1258
01:08:11,180 --> 01:08:13,099
How can you two
even think about this?
1259
01:08:13,099 --> 01:08:15,393
The world will never
be the same.
1260
01:08:15,393 --> 01:08:17,603
What happens next? Nobody knows.
1261
01:08:17,603 --> 01:08:19,522
Will he visit us again?
Will he speak to us?
1262
01:08:19,522 --> 01:08:21,649
What will he say?
Why did he steal our asteroid?
1263
01:08:21,649 --> 01:08:24,026
Was it ours in the first place?
Does he like us?
1264
01:08:24,026 --> 01:08:25,736
-Nobody knows.
-That's true.
1265
01:08:25,736 --> 01:08:28,239
What's out there? Something.
1266
01:08:28,239 --> 01:08:30,533
The meaning of life.
Maybe there is one.
1267
01:08:30,533 --> 01:08:33,578
I hope you're still
Episcopalian.
1268
01:08:33,578 --> 01:08:36,038
You took his picture, Dad.
1269
01:08:39,834 --> 01:08:41,878
I'm a photographer.
1270
01:08:46,173 --> 01:08:48,259
Episcopalian?
1271
01:08:56,434 --> 01:08:58,185
You really want us, Stanley?
1272
01:08:58,185 --> 01:09:01,105
No, but you need me.
1273
01:09:01,105 --> 01:09:02,773
She did love me, you know.
1274
01:09:02,773 --> 01:09:04,442
Who says she didn't?
1275
01:09:04,442 --> 01:09:06,527
I've been on my own
for 12 years, after all.
1276
01:09:06,527 --> 01:09:09,071
And remember,
my wife drank herself to death.
1277
01:09:09,071 --> 01:09:12,617
"Drank herself to..."
I don't know what that means.
1278
01:09:12,617 --> 01:09:16,120
In my loneliness--
or perhaps because of it--
1279
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:18,371
I've learned
not to judge people,
1280
01:09:18,371 --> 01:09:21,917
to take people as I find them,
not as others find them,
1281
01:09:21,917 --> 01:09:23,877
and most of all,
to give complete
1282
01:09:23,877 --> 01:09:27,047
and unquestioning faith
to the people I love.
1283
01:09:27,047 --> 01:09:29,466
I don't know
if that includes you,
1284
01:09:29,466 --> 01:09:33,094
but it included my daughter
and your four children,
1285
01:09:33,094 --> 01:09:34,679
so you're welcome
to stay with me
1286
01:09:34,679 --> 01:09:37,223
for as long as you wish,
whether I like it or not.
1287
01:09:37,223 --> 01:09:39,351
Which I don't, by the way.
1288
01:09:42,687 --> 01:09:44,606
Stop helping us.
1289
01:09:44,606 --> 01:09:46,191
We're in grief.
1290
01:09:46,191 --> 01:09:49,986
♪ He rides in the sun
till his day's work is done ♪
1291
01:09:49,986 --> 01:09:51,446
Me, too.
1292
01:09:51,446 --> 01:09:55,450
♪ And he rounds up
the cattle each fall ♪
1293
01:10:00,705 --> 01:10:04,542
♪ Singing his cattle call... ♪
1294
01:10:04,542 --> 01:10:06,795
Are you planning to abandon us?
1295
01:10:07,712 --> 01:10:11,091
Uh...
1296
01:10:11,091 --> 01:10:13,593
I was, as a temporary measure.
1297
01:10:13,593 --> 01:10:15,178
-What?
-But I decided against it.
1298
01:10:15,178 --> 01:10:16,846
-I knew it. I sensed it.
-I didn't.
1299
01:10:16,846 --> 01:10:18,682
I'm not the wet nurse.
I'm their grandfather.
1300
01:10:18,682 --> 01:10:20,725
I would've hired a babysitter
in addition to you.
1301
01:10:20,725 --> 01:10:22,727
I'm not planning
to abandon you anymore,
1302
01:10:22,727 --> 01:10:24,104
even as a temporary measure,
1303
01:10:24,104 --> 01:10:26,398
which is all
it ever would've been.
1304
01:10:27,983 --> 01:10:30,860
I forgive you
for considering it.
1305
01:10:56,635 --> 01:10:58,971
Evening, soldier.
1306
01:10:58,971 --> 01:11:02,224
Can I ask you to stick this dime
in the pay phone for me, please?
1307
01:11:02,224 --> 01:11:03,684
All public telephone service
1308
01:11:03,684 --> 01:11:05,436
has been suspended
until further notice.
1309
01:11:05,436 --> 01:11:06,812
I know it. The thing is,
1310
01:11:06,812 --> 01:11:08,439
right before the hubbub
yesterday,
1311
01:11:08,439 --> 01:11:10,482
I made a trunk call
to my cousin long-distance,
1312
01:11:10,482 --> 01:11:12,234
and the operator
let me owe the surcharge
1313
01:11:12,234 --> 01:11:14,028
because all I had
was three pennies.
1314
01:11:14,028 --> 01:11:17,114
I don't feel right stealing
from the telephone company.
1315
01:11:48,771 --> 01:11:50,314
Although it might convey
a different meaning
1316
01:11:50,314 --> 01:11:51,732
-on his planet.
-It's true.
1317
01:11:51,732 --> 01:11:53,567
If he even has a planet,
by the way.
1318
01:11:53,567 --> 01:11:54,860
-He might be nomadic.
-Hmm.
1319
01:11:54,860 --> 01:11:56,779
Operator?
Kismet-nine-seven-seven-oh.
1320
01:11:56,779 --> 01:11:58,572
-Station to station.
Stay on the line.
1321
01:11:58,572 --> 01:11:59,948
-Thank you.
1322
01:12:03,952 --> 01:12:05,578
-Hello? Who's calling?
1323
01:12:05,578 --> 01:12:07,705
Good evening, Mrs. Weatherford.
It's Ricky Cho.
1324
01:12:07,705 --> 01:12:09,791
-May I have a word with...
-Ricky, it's after 9:00.
1325
01:12:09,791 --> 01:12:11,250
He's already drinking
his Ovaltine.
1326
01:12:11,250 --> 01:12:12,627
Can't this wait until tomorrow?
1327
01:12:12,627 --> 01:12:14,212
I'm afraid not,
Mrs. Weatherford.
1328
01:12:14,212 --> 01:12:15,838
I-I wouldn't disturb you
if it weren't
1329
01:12:15,838 --> 01:12:18,049
of the utmost importance
to the Weekly Bobcat.
1330
01:12:18,049 --> 01:12:20,468
I just need a minute
of his time.
1331
01:12:20,468 --> 01:12:22,095
All right, Ricky. Hold the line.
1332
01:12:22,095 --> 01:12:24,013
Some kind of romance
between the two of you?
1333
01:12:24,013 --> 01:12:25,473
-Skip, Ricky Cho!
-What? Who?
1334
01:12:25,473 --> 01:12:26,849
-Who? You.
-Who?
1335
01:12:26,849 --> 01:12:28,184
-You know who.
-Us?
1336
01:12:28,184 --> 01:12:29,477
We only met yesterday.
1337
01:12:29,477 --> 01:12:30,978
I feel she doesn't like me
in that way.
1338
01:12:30,978 --> 01:12:32,188
Uh-huh. Well, I think
you're pretty smart,
1339
01:12:32,188 --> 01:12:33,606
but I think you're pretty dumb.
1340
01:12:33,606 --> 01:12:34,857
-Hello?
-Shh, shh. Hold it.
1341
01:12:34,857 --> 01:12:37,527
Skip? Ricky. We got a scoop.
1342
01:12:45,535 --> 01:12:49,163
The first hints of the future
existence of Asteroid City
1343
01:12:49,163 --> 01:12:51,165
were revealed during
a special seminar
1344
01:12:51,165 --> 01:12:53,543
scheduled at
the playwright's request.
1345
01:12:53,543 --> 01:12:55,920
Conrad Earp,
how can we help you?
1346
01:12:55,920 --> 01:12:58,089
Well, the thing is, Saltzie,
I'd like to make a scene
1347
01:12:58,089 --> 01:13:01,342
where all my characters are
each gently, privately seduced
1348
01:13:01,342 --> 01:13:03,886
into the deepest, dreamiest
slumber of their lives
1349
01:13:03,886 --> 01:13:05,805
as a result of
their shared experience
1350
01:13:05,805 --> 01:13:08,641
of a bewildering and bedazzling
celestial mystery.
1351
01:13:08,641 --> 01:13:11,227
-A sleeping scene.
-A scene of sleep.
1352
01:13:11,227 --> 01:13:12,812
But I don't know
how to write it.
1353
01:13:12,812 --> 01:13:14,939
-Yet.
1354
01:13:14,939 --> 01:13:16,566
I thought, perhaps, if you
1355
01:13:16,566 --> 01:13:19,777
and your wonderfully talented
pupils just improvise,
1356
01:13:19,777 --> 01:13:21,988
something might reveal itself.
1357
01:13:21,988 --> 01:13:24,031
Who wasn't going to be famous?
1358
01:13:24,031 --> 01:13:28,035
On any given day, roll call
in Saltzburg Keitel's classroom
1359
01:13:28,035 --> 01:13:32,247
was a now dazzling list
of undiscovered luminaries:
1360
01:13:32,247 --> 01:13:33,957
Linus Mao.
1361
01:13:33,957 --> 01:13:35,709
Lucretia Shaver.
1362
01:13:35,709 --> 01:13:37,544
Walter Geronimo.
1363
01:13:37,544 --> 01:13:39,045
Asquith Eden.
1364
01:13:39,045 --> 01:13:40,672
Mercedes Ford.
1365
01:13:40,672 --> 01:13:44,176
Even, unofficially, Jones Hall.
1366
01:13:44,176 --> 01:13:46,636
What's it about, the play?
1367
01:13:46,636 --> 01:13:50,515
Mm, infinity,
and I don't know what else.
1368
01:13:50,515 --> 01:13:52,184
Is there a title?
1369
01:13:52,184 --> 01:13:53,226
I'm torn.
1370
01:13:53,226 --> 01:13:55,854
Maybe The Cosmic Wilderness.
1371
01:13:55,854 --> 01:13:57,147
Do you like that one?
1372
01:13:57,147 --> 01:13:58,732
-Mm, not really.
Uh-uh.
1373
01:13:58,732 --> 01:14:00,317
What's the alternative?
1374
01:14:00,317 --> 01:14:01,568
Title, I mean.
1375
01:14:01,568 --> 01:14:03,028
Well, it's the name
of the small town
1376
01:14:03,028 --> 01:14:04,613
on the California/Nevada/
Arizona desert
1377
01:14:04,613 --> 01:14:06,239
where the story takes place.
1378
01:14:06,239 --> 01:14:10,619
Okay. Who here has ever
actually fallen asleep onstage
1379
01:14:10,619 --> 01:14:13,663
during a live performance
in front of a paying audience?
1380
01:14:13,663 --> 01:14:15,332
Me.
1381
01:14:15,332 --> 01:14:17,834
I spent the first three-quarters
of Act Two of The Welterweight
1382
01:14:17,834 --> 01:14:21,880
on a massage table with no lines
till the last minute and a half.
1383
01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:24,257
One night, I nodded off.
1384
01:14:24,257 --> 01:14:26,593
-On purpose, you did this?
- No.
1385
01:14:26,593 --> 01:14:29,304
-Did you miss your cue?
-Almost.
1386
01:14:29,304 --> 01:14:31,765
I heard it,
and I woke up very scared,
1387
01:14:31,765 --> 01:14:33,266
but I knew my lines.
1388
01:14:33,266 --> 01:14:35,018
-Good morning, Schubert.
-Good morning, Saltzie.
1389
01:14:35,018 --> 01:14:36,519
What brings you here today?
1390
01:14:36,519 --> 01:14:38,063
We haven't seen you
in six weeks.
1391
01:14:38,063 --> 01:14:40,106
Lavender and Lemons
opened last night
1392
01:14:40,106 --> 01:14:43,109
to very good, uh...
I might say raves, by the way.
1393
01:14:43,109 --> 01:14:44,819
I'm available.
1394
01:14:46,279 --> 01:14:48,573
What did he teach? Example.
1395
01:14:48,573 --> 01:14:50,533
Sleep-- it's not death.
1396
01:14:50,533 --> 01:14:52,744
The body keeps busy,
breathing air,
1397
01:14:52,744 --> 01:14:54,286
pumping blood, thinking.
1398
01:14:54,286 --> 01:14:56,580
Maybe you pay a visit
to your dead mother.
1399
01:14:56,580 --> 01:14:59,583
Maybe you go to bed
with your ex-wife or husband.
1400
01:14:59,583 --> 01:15:01,252
Maybe you climb the Matterhorn.
1401
01:15:01,252 --> 01:15:03,254
Connie, you wake up
with a new scene
1402
01:15:03,254 --> 01:15:05,381
three-quarters written
in your head already.
1403
01:15:05,381 --> 01:15:08,092
Schubert, you wake up
with a hangover.
1404
01:15:08,092 --> 01:15:09,718
Important things happen.
1405
01:15:09,718 --> 01:15:11,804
Is there something to play?
I think so.
1406
01:15:11,804 --> 01:15:14,598
Let's work on the scene
from the outside in.
1407
01:15:14,598 --> 01:15:15,975
Be inert.
1408
01:15:15,975 --> 01:15:17,977
Then dream.
1409
01:15:21,230 --> 01:15:23,107
Where are we, Connie? And when?
1410
01:15:23,107 --> 01:15:24,275
Talk to us.
1411
01:15:24,275 --> 01:15:25,734
Yes. All right.
1412
01:15:25,734 --> 01:15:27,152
One week later.
1413
01:15:27,152 --> 01:15:29,071
Our cast of characters'
already tenuous
1414
01:15:29,071 --> 01:15:31,991
grasp of reality has further
slipped in quarantine,
1415
01:15:31,991 --> 01:15:34,118
and the group begins
to occupy a space
1416
01:15:34,118 --> 01:15:36,453
of the most peculiar
emotional dimensions.
1417
01:15:36,453 --> 01:15:38,455
Meanwhile,
the information blockade
1418
01:15:38,455 --> 01:15:40,499
spearheaded
by General Grif Gibson
1419
01:15:40,499 --> 01:15:42,960
has been, it appears...
1420
01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:45,170
incomplete.
1421
01:16:17,869 --> 01:16:20,455
Extra! Extra! Late edition!
1422
01:16:20,455 --> 01:16:22,123
Extra! Extra!
1423
01:16:22,123 --> 01:16:23,875
Late edition!
1424
01:16:28,629 --> 01:16:31,424
I hope you're aware, you and
your accomplices may still face
1425
01:16:31,424 --> 01:16:33,885
felony prosecution,
possibly even a treason charge.
1426
01:16:33,885 --> 01:16:36,179
I'll fight it all the way
to the Supreme Court,
1427
01:16:36,179 --> 01:16:38,473
-if necessary, and win.
1428
01:16:38,473 --> 01:16:40,892
This just in,
from the president.
1429
01:16:41,851 --> 01:16:43,644
He's furious.
Thanks a lot, Ricky.
1430
01:16:43,644 --> 01:16:45,688
I don't know what to say,
General Gibson.
1431
01:16:45,688 --> 01:16:47,523
-I'm sorry.
-Don't apologize, Dad.
1432
01:16:47,523 --> 01:16:49,233
The public has a right
to the truth.
1433
01:16:49,233 --> 01:16:51,611
-You made your point.
-This tribunal is a mockery!
1434
01:16:51,611 --> 01:16:53,279
What about Steenbeck,
who took the photograph?
1435
01:16:53,279 --> 01:16:55,239
It's on the front page of
every newspaper on the planet.
1436
01:16:55,239 --> 01:16:57,784
-Can't we arrest him, as well?
-Unfortunately, no.
1437
01:16:57,784 --> 01:16:59,327
He dropped a print in the mail
1438
01:16:59,327 --> 01:17:00,995
to his photo agency
first thing Tuesday morning,
1439
01:17:00,995 --> 01:17:03,331
and the postman got it
before we did. He's innocent.
1440
01:17:03,331 --> 01:17:05,333
Supposedly, he did a nude
of Midge Campbell, too.
1441
01:17:05,333 --> 01:17:07,710
-Midge Campbell?
-Ooh, Midge Campbell.
1442
01:17:08,836 --> 01:17:10,671
As you know, boys and girls,
your parents arrived
1443
01:17:10,671 --> 01:17:12,256
late last night
by military helicopter.
1444
01:17:12,256 --> 01:17:14,050
They've been sequestered
in that metal hut over there
1445
01:17:14,050 --> 01:17:15,635
for the past several hours
while the government scientists
1446
01:17:15,635 --> 01:17:17,095
explain the situation to them,
1447
01:17:17,095 --> 01:17:18,721
although everything's
already in the newspapers.
1448
01:17:18,721 --> 01:17:20,348
It's my understanding
they're about to go onto
1449
01:17:20,348 --> 01:17:21,933
this closed-circuit
television set at any moment.
1450
01:17:21,933 --> 01:17:24,102
Everything's connected,
but nothing's working.
1451
01:17:24,102 --> 01:17:27,480
Let's carry on with
the lesson plan, then. Billy?
1452
01:17:27,480 --> 01:17:29,148
I did the alien's flying saucer
1453
01:17:29,148 --> 01:17:31,818
with a hubcap
and a chicken pot pie tin.
1454
01:17:31,818 --> 01:17:34,070
Good work. Very accurate.
1455
01:17:34,070 --> 01:17:35,613
Jupiter, fifth planet
from the sun,
1456
01:17:35,613 --> 01:17:37,115
largest in our solar system...
1457
01:17:37,115 --> 01:17:38,491
Yes, Bernice?
1458
01:17:38,491 --> 01:17:41,035
I did the alien
on his home planet.
1459
01:17:41,868 --> 01:17:44,162
Well done. How wonderful.
1460
01:17:44,162 --> 01:17:46,248
Due to extreme
atmospheric conditions,
1461
01:17:46,248 --> 01:17:49,668
an anticyclonic storm has raged
on Jupiter's surface for over...
1462
01:17:49,668 --> 01:17:50,794
Yes, Dwight?
1463
01:17:50,794 --> 01:17:52,379
I wrote a song about him.
1464
01:17:52,379 --> 01:17:56,800
Oh. Um, this may not be the time
for a musical performance.
1465
01:17:56,800 --> 01:17:58,343
-Let's...
1466
01:17:58,343 --> 01:17:59,803
Uh, yes, Montana?
1467
01:17:59,803 --> 01:18:01,179
Pardon the interruption, June.
1468
01:18:01,179 --> 01:18:02,556
The boys and I heard old Dwight
1469
01:18:02,556 --> 01:18:03,974
was scribbling up
a little warble,
1470
01:18:03,974 --> 01:18:05,725
so we learned ourselves
to play it.
1471
01:18:12,065 --> 01:18:14,985
-One, two, three.
1472
01:18:14,985 --> 01:18:17,571
♪ Howdly-dee... ♪
1473
01:18:17,571 --> 01:18:22,409
Dear alien, who art in heaven,
1474
01:18:22,409 --> 01:18:27,706
lean and skinny,
'bout six-foot-seven;
1475
01:18:27,706 --> 01:18:31,835
Though we know ye ain't our
brother:
1476
01:18:31,835 --> 01:18:34,963
are you friend or foe
1477
01:18:34,963 --> 01:18:37,257
?
1478
01:18:37,883 --> 01:18:39,259
Hop on one foot, skip on two
1479
01:18:39,259 --> 01:18:40,886
dance the Spaceman,
howdly-do!
1480
01:18:40,886 --> 01:18:42,804
Bounce on four foot, spring on
three;
1481
01:18:42,804 --> 01:18:44,681
let's be spacemen,
howdly-dee!
1482
01:18:44,681 --> 01:18:47,851
-♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee ♪
1483
01:18:47,851 --> 01:18:51,688
♪ Howdly-dee,
howdly-dee ♪
1484
01:18:51,688 --> 01:18:54,983
♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee ♪
1485
01:18:54,983 --> 01:18:58,737
-♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee ♪
-Come on, y'all!
1486
01:18:58,737 --> 01:19:00,697
♪ Hop on one foot, skip on two ♪
1487
01:19:00,697 --> 01:19:02,616
♪ Dance the Spaceman,
howdly-do ♪
1488
01:19:02,616 --> 01:19:04,451
♪ Bounce on four foot,
spring on three ♪
1489
01:19:04,451 --> 01:19:06,076
♪ Let's be spacemen,
howdly-dee ♪
1490
01:19:06,076 --> 01:19:10,247
♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee. ♪
1491
01:19:11,790 --> 01:19:14,126
This was on an old roll
I forgot to develop
1492
01:19:14,126 --> 01:19:15,920
in the glove box.
1493
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:18,631
"Self-Portrait with Shrapnel."
1494
01:19:25,262 --> 01:19:27,306
Do page 45.
1495
01:19:37,441 --> 01:19:39,235
"What have you done?
How could you?"
1496
01:19:39,235 --> 01:19:40,694
-It says "shouting and crying."
-Uh-huh.
1497
01:19:40,694 --> 01:19:43,239
-So shout and cry.
-"How could you?!"
1498
01:19:44,990 --> 01:19:46,492
"How couldn't I?"
1499
01:19:46,492 --> 01:19:47,910
"How couldn't you?"
1500
01:19:47,910 --> 01:19:49,328
"That's what I'm asking."
1501
01:19:49,328 --> 01:19:51,539
"It was over already.
You were free.
1502
01:19:51,539 --> 01:19:53,457
"What's the point
of committing suicide
1503
01:19:53,457 --> 01:19:56,085
when there's nothing left
to escape?"
1504
01:19:57,002 --> 01:19:59,672
"Maybe that was
the problem all along."
1505
01:19:59,672 --> 01:20:02,508
"Stares for a moment."
1506
01:20:02,508 --> 01:20:04,510
And then it says I smash
everything off the shelf.
1507
01:20:04,510 --> 01:20:06,178
So smash everything
off the shelf.
1508
01:20:10,391 --> 01:20:12,101
"Such a sickening waste.
1509
01:20:12,101 --> 01:20:14,937
"Think of the people.
Think of the places.
1510
01:20:14,937 --> 01:20:17,189
-Think of the world..."
-Use your grief.
1511
01:20:17,189 --> 01:20:18,607
For a rehearsal?
1512
01:20:18,607 --> 01:20:20,109
I'm not even in this picture.
1513
01:20:20,109 --> 01:20:21,986
I'm a war photographer.
1514
01:20:21,986 --> 01:20:23,612
Use your grief.
1515
01:20:25,155 --> 01:20:26,532
All right.
1516
01:20:29,951 --> 01:20:32,287
"Such a sickening waste.
1517
01:20:33,871 --> 01:20:37,542
"Think of the people.
Think of the places.
1518
01:20:37,542 --> 01:20:40,795
Think of the world
you could have seen, Dolores."
1519
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:45,008
"I've already seen it."
1520
01:20:45,967 --> 01:20:48,678
She still is...
uh, is-is she a ghost?
1521
01:20:51,472 --> 01:20:53,266
It's not clear.
1522
01:20:54,058 --> 01:20:55,351
Uh...
1523
01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:57,103
Then the, uh... the...
1524
01:20:58,187 --> 01:21:00,148
Then the coroner comes in,
orders me out of the room.
1525
01:21:00,148 --> 01:21:01,983
I slowly turn away
and close the door.
1526
01:21:01,983 --> 01:21:03,067
Scene.
1527
01:21:03,067 --> 01:21:05,194
My sandwich is burning.
1528
01:21:20,585 --> 01:21:22,295
My daughter saw us.
1529
01:21:22,295 --> 01:21:23,296
What?
1530
01:21:23,296 --> 01:21:25,256
Oh, uh, Dinah saw us.
1531
01:21:25,256 --> 01:21:27,967
Through this window,
in your bedroom yesterday.
1532
01:21:36,768 --> 01:21:39,896
Did you, uh, tell her
we were rehearsing again?
1533
01:21:40,813 --> 01:21:42,857
I didn't think of that.
I should've.
1534
01:21:42,857 --> 01:21:45,818
But it's too late,
because I admitted everything.
1535
01:21:46,861 --> 01:21:48,655
Did she tell Woodrow?
1536
01:21:49,489 --> 01:21:51,115
Hard to say.
1537
01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:52,700
She can keep a secret.
1538
01:21:52,700 --> 01:21:54,493
I don't know if she will.
1539
01:21:57,287 --> 01:22:00,082
This isn't the beginning
of something, Augie.
1540
01:22:00,082 --> 01:22:02,084
Isn't it?
1541
01:22:02,959 --> 01:22:04,461
Is it?
1542
01:22:04,461 --> 01:22:06,421
Probably not.
1543
01:22:06,421 --> 01:22:07,798
Unless maybe it is.
1544
01:22:07,798 --> 01:22:09,383
I don't like the way
that guy looked at us.
1545
01:22:09,383 --> 01:22:11,468
-What guy?
-The alien.
1546
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:12,844
Oh. How did he...
1547
01:22:12,844 --> 01:22:15,097
-How did he look at us?
-Like we're doomed.
1548
01:22:17,557 --> 01:22:19,810
Maybe we are.
1549
01:22:25,357 --> 01:22:26,983
What did you just do?
1550
01:22:26,983 --> 01:22:28,568
I burned my hand
on the Quicky-Griddle.
1551
01:22:28,568 --> 01:22:30,654
-Why?
-It's not clear.
1552
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:32,823
Show me.
1553
01:22:33,657 --> 01:22:35,325
You really did it.
1554
01:22:35,325 --> 01:22:37,953
That actually happened.
1555
01:22:46,336 --> 01:22:48,046
Pull.
1556
01:22:54,428 --> 01:22:56,847
How long can they keep us
in Asteroid City?
1557
01:22:56,847 --> 01:22:58,306
Legally, I mean.
1558
01:22:58,306 --> 01:22:59,683
Well, I'm not an attorney,
1559
01:22:59,683 --> 01:23:01,309
but I'd say
as long as they like.
1560
01:23:01,309 --> 01:23:03,019
I think we'd have to file
an injunction
1561
01:23:03,019 --> 01:23:04,771
and successfully argue
the case-- six months to a year?
1562
01:23:04,771 --> 01:23:06,189
Of course,
we'd also need to initiate
1563
01:23:06,189 --> 01:23:07,607
a civil suit for loss of income.
1564
01:23:07,607 --> 01:23:09,359
Maybe we should just
walk out right now.
1565
01:23:09,359 --> 01:23:12,487
I'm not sure they could stop us
without killing somebody.
1566
01:23:12,487 --> 01:23:14,072
Interesting idea.
1567
01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:16,700
What kind of mileage
you think that jet pack gets?
1568
01:23:16,700 --> 01:23:18,034
Ask Roger or his son.
1569
01:23:18,034 --> 01:23:19,618
Apparently,
he's being prosecuted
1570
01:23:19,618 --> 01:23:21,036
for revealing state secrets.
1571
01:23:21,036 --> 01:23:22,997
-They'll never make it stick.
-I'm in no hurry.
1572
01:23:22,997 --> 01:23:25,040
I like the desert.
I like aliens.
1573
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:26,584
-Pull.
1574
01:23:26,584 --> 01:23:28,043
How'd you get that back?
1575
01:23:28,043 --> 01:23:29,462
The projects remain
under secure lockdown.
1576
01:23:29,462 --> 01:23:30,838
No Stargazer is permitted
personal access
1577
01:23:30,838 --> 01:23:31,922
without the express
permission...
1578
01:23:31,922 --> 01:23:33,215
My son invented this death ray.
1579
01:23:33,215 --> 01:23:34,717
That may be true,
but my orders are...
1580
01:23:34,717 --> 01:23:36,302
-Step back.
-Easy, fellas.
1581
01:23:36,302 --> 01:23:38,053
-We're not in Guadalcanal
anymore. -Okay, okay, okay.
1582
01:23:38,053 --> 01:23:39,889
Everyone, please. It's been
a difficult quarantine.
1583
01:23:39,889 --> 01:23:41,557
-I'll zap you right now!
-You stole your projects!
1584
01:23:41,557 --> 01:23:43,100
GIBSON
Goddamn it, tell them
1585
01:23:43,100 --> 01:23:44,477
-to stand down!
-Stand down! You hear that?
1586
01:23:44,477 --> 01:23:45,853
General Gibson says,
"Stand down."
1587
01:23:45,853 --> 01:23:47,271
-You married?
-Of course.
1588
01:23:47,271 --> 01:23:49,356
We'll reconfiscate the projects
at a later time.
1589
01:23:49,356 --> 01:23:50,858
Probably after dinner.
1590
01:23:51,734 --> 01:23:53,861
Try it.
1591
01:23:55,613 --> 01:23:57,239
Tab Hunter, Doris Day, out,
1592
01:23:57,239 --> 01:23:59,325
Jack the Ripper, out,
Bing Crosby, Shirley Temple,
1593
01:23:59,325 --> 01:24:01,368
out, out, Orson Welles,
Lucille Ball, out,
1594
01:24:01,368 --> 01:24:03,579
Marlon Brando, out,
Queen Elizabeth, Mickey Mantle,
1595
01:24:03,579 --> 01:24:05,247
out, out, Yul Brynner,
Louis Armstrong,
1596
01:24:05,247 --> 01:24:07,750
out, Lana Turner, out,
Betty Grable, Ella Fitzgerald,
1597
01:24:07,750 --> 01:24:10,252
out, out, Rock Hudson, out,
Jerry Lewis, out, out,
1598
01:24:10,252 --> 01:24:12,463
Greta Garbo, Karl Marx, out,
Joan of Arc, out,
1599
01:24:12,463 --> 01:24:14,089
Charles Darwin,
Walter Pidgeon, out,
1600
01:24:14,089 --> 01:24:16,008
Emily Dickinson,
Galileo, out, out,
1601
01:24:16,008 --> 01:24:17,843
Pontius Pilate, out,
Ernest Hemingway, Jackie O...
1602
01:24:17,843 --> 01:24:19,970
Who's responsible for stealing
my radio telescope,
1603
01:24:19,970 --> 01:24:21,597
my signal processing receiver
1604
01:24:21,597 --> 01:24:24,099
and my entire spectrographical
monitoring network?
1605
01:24:25,684 --> 01:24:27,686
They're trying
to contact the alien.
1606
01:24:27,686 --> 01:24:30,606
Well, I appreciate that,
but what about Dr. Hickenlooper?
1607
01:24:30,606 --> 01:24:33,609
If you're trying to contact
the alien, include me.
1608
01:24:33,609 --> 01:24:35,778
Did you hear anything
from him so far?
1609
01:24:35,778 --> 01:24:37,488
-No.
Huh.
1610
01:24:37,488 --> 01:24:39,323
What's all this?
1611
01:24:39,323 --> 01:24:41,617
I put the American flag
just to be patriotic.
1612
01:24:41,617 --> 01:24:43,368
Now we need
to really mean something.
1613
01:24:43,368 --> 01:24:45,370
A universal message,
not only to earthlings.
1614
01:24:45,370 --> 01:24:47,497
We already thought of
everything we could think of:
1615
01:24:47,497 --> 01:24:49,207
a cross, a star,
a four-leaf clover,
1616
01:24:49,207 --> 01:24:50,792
letters, numbers, hieroglyphics.
1617
01:24:50,792 --> 01:24:52,669
What's the point of projecting
a star onto the moon?
1618
01:24:52,669 --> 01:24:54,045
-Exactly.
-I ask that sincerely.
1619
01:24:54,045 --> 01:24:55,296
How about "E equals MC-squared"?
1620
01:24:55,296 --> 01:24:56,631
-I still think it's...
-They know that.
1621
01:24:56,631 --> 01:24:57,966
-It's too easy.
-This is our chance
1622
01:24:57,966 --> 01:25:00,051
to be actually worthwhile
in our lifetimes.
1623
01:25:00,051 --> 01:25:01,719
I see what you mean.
1624
01:25:01,719 --> 01:25:03,721
-Whose turn was it?
-Oh, the middle of mine.
1625
01:25:03,721 --> 01:25:05,390
I'd better start over.
1626
01:25:05,390 --> 01:25:07,141
-Cleopatra, Jagadish...
-A word, Woodrow.
1627
01:25:07,141 --> 01:25:09,727
About the, uh, settings
on the spectrograph.
1628
01:25:09,727 --> 01:25:11,229
Over here, if you wouldn't mind.
1629
01:25:11,229 --> 01:25:12,856
...Kurt Gödel,
William Henry Bragg...
1630
01:25:12,856 --> 01:25:14,899
The, uh, warning label indicates
1631
01:25:14,899 --> 01:25:16,693
that the, uh...
1632
01:25:18,987 --> 01:25:21,698
It's all worthwhile
in your lifetime.
1633
01:25:21,698 --> 01:25:23,366
-This, I mean.
-Okay.
1634
01:25:23,366 --> 01:25:25,660
Your curiosity is
your most important asset.
1635
01:25:25,660 --> 01:25:26,995
-Trust it.
-Okay.
1636
01:25:26,995 --> 01:25:28,580
-Trust your curiosity.
-Okay.
1637
01:25:28,580 --> 01:25:30,665
The resources of my lab
will always be available to you.
1638
01:25:30,665 --> 01:25:32,292
After this thing is over,
I mean.
1639
01:25:32,292 --> 01:25:34,294
You could maybe sort of
be my protégé, if you like.
1640
01:25:34,294 --> 01:25:35,628
Oh, wow. Maybe we can prove
1641
01:25:35,628 --> 01:25:36,963
the hypothesis
of celestial flirtation
1642
01:25:36,963 --> 01:25:38,298
and get the math right finally.
1643
01:25:38,298 --> 01:25:39,632
Wow. Let's try.
1644
01:25:39,632 --> 01:25:41,593
I think I see
the dots from space
1645
01:25:41,593 --> 01:25:43,386
burned into your eyeballs.
1646
01:25:46,264 --> 01:25:47,807
I'm sorry about your mother.
1647
01:25:47,807 --> 01:25:50,727
I miss mine, too,
and she died 46 years ago.
1648
01:25:51,936 --> 01:25:54,022
Thank you.
1649
01:25:56,149 --> 01:25:57,817
I've already petitioned
the State Assembly
1650
01:25:57,817 --> 01:26:00,194
to change the name of the town
from Asteroid City
1651
01:26:00,194 --> 01:26:01,821
to Alien Landing, U.S.A.
1652
01:26:01,821 --> 01:26:04,365
This municipality might end up
being the center
1653
01:26:04,365 --> 01:26:07,576
of a vast community
of Stargazers and Space Cadets.
1654
01:26:07,576 --> 01:26:10,537
It's a historic offering.
1655
01:26:15,751 --> 01:26:17,836
As you know,
the Asteroid Day itinerary
1656
01:26:17,836 --> 01:26:19,296
had to be suspended last week
1657
01:26:19,296 --> 01:26:21,798
due to the factual reality
of our circumstances.
1658
01:26:21,798 --> 01:26:23,634
However, I have
an announcement to make.
1659
01:26:23,634 --> 01:26:25,594
Dr. Hickenlooper
and the Military-Science
1660
01:26:25,594 --> 01:26:27,262
Research and Experimentation
Division,
1661
01:26:27,262 --> 01:26:29,139
in conjunction with
the Larkings Foundation,
1662
01:26:29,139 --> 01:26:31,475
have officially selected
a recipient
1663
01:26:31,475 --> 01:26:33,518
for this year's
Hickenlooper Scholarship,
1664
01:26:33,518 --> 01:26:36,730
and you're all going home
first thing tomorrow morning.
1665
01:26:36,730 --> 01:26:38,815
The president has opted
to lift the quarantine
1666
01:26:38,815 --> 01:26:40,651
by executive decree.
1667
01:26:43,236 --> 01:26:44,905
I'd like to take
this opportunity--
1668
01:26:44,905 --> 01:26:47,032
and, by the way,
all of this year's projects,
1669
01:26:47,032 --> 01:26:48,533
setting aside my own
1670
01:26:48,533 --> 01:26:50,577
differences of opinion
with Ricky Cho,
1671
01:26:50,577 --> 01:26:53,080
were of the very highest
caliber, without exception--
1672
01:26:53,080 --> 01:26:55,958
-to officially declare, uh...
1673
01:26:55,958 --> 01:26:57,376
-What's happening now?
-Scholarship...
1674
01:26:57,376 --> 01:26:58,752
-What's happening now?
-I don't know.
1675
01:26:58,752 --> 01:27:00,420
It's today again.
1676
01:27:33,911 --> 01:27:35,830
It's been inventoried.
1677
01:27:40,209 --> 01:27:41,794
Under the provisions of
1678
01:27:41,794 --> 01:27:43,421
National Security
Emergency Scrimmage Plan X,
1679
01:27:43,421 --> 01:27:45,339
the lifting of the quarantine
which I just announced
1680
01:27:45,339 --> 01:27:47,341
is now canceled
or at least postponed
1681
01:27:47,341 --> 01:27:50,803
due to the unexpected
new event which just...
1682
01:28:17,496 --> 01:28:20,750
Why does Augie burn his hand
on the Quicky-Griddle?
1683
01:28:20,750 --> 01:28:23,044
I still don't understand
the play.
1684
01:28:24,211 --> 01:28:25,504
What?
1685
01:28:34,013 --> 01:28:36,766
Where are you going?
1686
01:28:36,766 --> 01:28:38,642
I'll be right back.
1687
01:28:38,642 --> 01:28:40,603
I don't play him
as an alien, actually.
1688
01:28:40,603 --> 01:28:42,229
I play him as a metaphor.
1689
01:28:42,229 --> 01:28:43,981
-That's my interpretation.
-Metaphor for what?
1690
01:28:43,981 --> 01:28:46,692
I-I don't know yet.
We don't pin it down.
1691
01:28:46,692 --> 01:28:48,778
Schubert. Schubert.
1692
01:28:48,778 --> 01:28:50,946
-Schubert! Schubert!
-Huh? Yes.
1693
01:28:50,946 --> 01:28:53,282
What's wrong? Are you on?
1694
01:28:53,282 --> 01:28:55,075
Technically, but General Gibson
just started the scene
1695
01:28:55,075 --> 01:28:56,868
where the president
doesn't accept his resignation.
1696
01:28:56,868 --> 01:28:58,870
I've got six and a half minutes
before my next line.
1697
01:28:58,870 --> 01:29:00,872
I need an answer
to a question I want to ask.
1698
01:29:00,872 --> 01:29:01,998
Okay.
1699
01:29:01,998 --> 01:29:03,958
Am I doing him right?
1700
01:29:03,958 --> 01:29:05,293
Oh.
1701
01:29:05,293 --> 01:29:06,628
Well...
1702
01:29:06,628 --> 01:29:08,129
I told you before,
there's too much business--
1703
01:29:08,129 --> 01:29:09,380
with the pipe, with the lighter,
1704
01:29:09,380 --> 01:29:11,007
with the camera,
with the eyebrow--
1705
01:29:11,007 --> 01:29:13,134
but aside from that,
on the whole,
1706
01:29:13,134 --> 01:29:15,512
in answer to your question...
Sit down.
1707
01:29:17,889 --> 01:29:19,516
You're doing him just right.
1708
01:29:19,516 --> 01:29:22,143
In fact, in my opinion,
you didn't just become Augie.
1709
01:29:22,143 --> 01:29:23,478
He became you.
1710
01:29:23,478 --> 01:29:24,562
I feel lost.
1711
01:29:24,562 --> 01:29:26,147
-Good.
-He's such a wounded guy.
1712
01:29:26,147 --> 01:29:28,024
I feel like my heart
is getting broken--
1713
01:29:28,024 --> 01:29:29,234
my own, personal heart--
1714
01:29:29,234 --> 01:29:30,401
-every night.
-Good.
1715
01:29:30,401 --> 01:29:31,945
-Do I just keep doing it?
-Yes.
1716
01:29:31,945 --> 01:29:33,738
-Without knowing anything?
-Yes.
1717
01:29:33,738 --> 01:29:35,615
Isn't there supposed to be
some kind of an answer
1718
01:29:35,615 --> 01:29:37,075
out there
in the cosmic wilderness?
1719
01:29:37,075 --> 01:29:38,326
Woodrow's line
about the meaning of life.
1720
01:29:38,326 --> 01:29:39,619
-"Maybe there is one."
-Right.
1721
01:29:39,619 --> 01:29:40,995
Well, that's my question.
1722
01:29:42,747 --> 01:29:44,749
I still don't understand
the play.
1723
01:29:44,749 --> 01:29:46,292
Doesn't matter.
1724
01:29:46,292 --> 01:29:48,753
Just keep telling the story.
1725
01:29:49,587 --> 01:29:50,922
You're doing him right.
1726
01:29:50,922 --> 01:29:52,423
I need a breath of fresh air.
1727
01:29:52,423 --> 01:29:53,508
Huh.
1728
01:29:53,508 --> 01:29:55,969
Okay, but you won't find one.
1729
01:29:58,805 --> 01:30:00,390
Right.
1730
01:30:19,825 --> 01:30:21,660
Hello.
1731
01:30:23,579 --> 01:30:26,456
Oh. It's you, the wife
who played my actress.
1732
01:30:26,456 --> 01:30:29,793
Hmm. My scene was cut
after one rehearsal.
1733
01:30:30,961 --> 01:30:33,672
-We still use your photograph.
-Hmm.
1734
01:30:36,675 --> 01:30:39,011
You remember the dialogue?
1735
01:30:40,137 --> 01:30:41,680
No.
1736
01:30:42,890 --> 01:30:46,018
We meet in a dream
on the alien's planet.
1737
01:30:46,018 --> 01:30:47,895
Magnavox-27.
1738
01:30:47,895 --> 01:30:50,480
Actually,
it's one of the moons of it.
1739
01:30:51,440 --> 01:30:54,693
You say,
"Did you talk to the alien?"
1740
01:30:54,693 --> 01:30:57,821
I say, "Not yet."
1741
01:30:57,821 --> 01:31:00,574
You say, "Why not?
I thought for sure
1742
01:31:00,574 --> 01:31:03,535
you would've yelled at him
or made him laugh."
1743
01:31:03,535 --> 01:31:07,748
I say, "Or asked him
the secrets of the universe?"
1744
01:31:07,748 --> 01:31:09,875
You say, "Exactly."
1745
01:31:10,959 --> 01:31:13,962
I say, "I think he's shy."
1746
01:31:15,214 --> 01:31:16,924
You say,
1747
01:31:16,924 --> 01:31:19,718
"So's Woodrow, but I'm sure
he'll grow out of it.
1748
01:31:19,718 --> 01:31:22,679
I mean, at least I hope he will,
without a mother."
1749
01:31:24,473 --> 01:31:28,018
I say, "He's a late bloomer,
1750
01:31:28,018 --> 01:31:33,315
but maybe I think
you'll need to replace me."
1751
01:31:33,315 --> 01:31:34,691
You say,
1752
01:31:34,691 --> 01:31:37,819
"What? Why? How? I can't."
1753
01:31:39,071 --> 01:31:43,699
I say, "Maybe I think
you'll need to try.
1754
01:31:46,035 --> 01:31:48,454
I'm not coming back, Augie."
1755
01:31:51,207 --> 01:31:54,502
Then you take a picture of me
and start crying,
1756
01:31:54,502 --> 01:31:56,545
and I say...
1757
01:31:58,756 --> 01:32:01,217
"I hope it comes out."
1758
01:32:04,303 --> 01:32:06,472
And I say,
1759
01:32:06,472 --> 01:32:08,849
"All my pictures come out."
1760
01:32:20,486 --> 01:32:22,280
Hmm.
1761
01:32:22,280 --> 01:32:24,156
Good memory. Why'd they cut it?
1762
01:32:24,156 --> 01:32:25,658
Running time.
1763
01:32:25,658 --> 01:32:27,368
Now I'm First Lady-in-Waiting
to the Queen Consort
1764
01:32:27,368 --> 01:32:28,911
in Fruit of a Withering Vine.
1765
01:32:28,911 --> 01:32:30,579
You missed your cue.
1766
01:32:30,579 --> 01:32:32,707
June and the cowboy are already
necking in the station wagon.
1767
01:32:32,707 --> 01:32:35,584
They're bandaging
the understudy's hand right now.
1768
01:32:36,919 --> 01:32:38,671
Oh. It's you.
1769
01:32:38,671 --> 01:32:40,506
We almost would've had
a scene together.
1770
01:32:40,506 --> 01:32:42,675
-Hello.
1771
01:32:44,844 --> 01:32:48,681
Six months into the run,
the company received the news:
1772
01:32:48,681 --> 01:32:51,392
a catastrophic
automobile accident.
1773
01:32:51,392 --> 01:32:53,519
Conrad Earp, American playwright
1774
01:32:53,519 --> 01:32:56,355
unequaled in passion
and imagination,
1775
01:32:56,355 --> 01:32:57,898
dead at 50.
1776
01:32:57,898 --> 01:33:00,151
I'd like to make
a scene where all my characters
1777
01:33:00,151 --> 01:33:01,777
are each gently,
privately seduced
1778
01:33:01,777 --> 01:33:04,071
into the deepest, dreamiest
slumber of their lives
1779
01:33:04,071 --> 01:33:05,781
as a result
of their shared experience
1780
01:33:05,781 --> 01:33:08,658
of a bewildering and bedazzling
celestial mystery,
1781
01:33:08,658 --> 01:33:11,119
-but I don't know
how to write it. -
1782
01:33:12,037 --> 01:33:14,622
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1783
01:33:14,622 --> 01:33:16,166
-What was that?
1784
01:33:16,166 --> 01:33:17,751
What's happening?
1785
01:33:18,710 --> 01:33:20,462
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1786
01:33:20,462 --> 01:33:21,629
-What?
-That's not true.
1787
01:33:21,629 --> 01:33:22,964
-Say it again.
-Who cares?
1788
01:33:22,964 --> 01:33:25,717
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1789
01:33:25,717 --> 01:33:26,885
-Why should you?
-Maybe not.
1790
01:33:26,885 --> 01:33:28,386
-Of course.
-Uh, yes.
1791
01:33:28,386 --> 01:33:30,388
-You can't wake up...
-If you don't fall asleep.
1792
01:33:30,388 --> 01:33:32,724
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1793
01:33:32,724 --> 01:33:34,726
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1794
01:33:34,726 --> 01:33:37,020
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1795
01:33:37,020 --> 01:33:39,481
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1796
01:33:39,481 --> 01:33:41,858
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1797
01:33:41,858 --> 01:33:44,152
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1798
01:33:44,152 --> 01:33:46,529
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1799
01:33:46,529 --> 01:33:48,907
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1800
01:33:48,907 --> 01:33:51,326
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1801
01:33:51,326 --> 01:33:53,828
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1802
01:33:53,828 --> 01:33:55,997
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1803
01:33:55,997 --> 01:33:58,333
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1804
01:33:58,333 --> 01:34:01,461
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1805
01:34:29,489 --> 01:34:33,158
♪ Somewhere there's music,
how faint the tune ♪
1806
01:34:33,158 --> 01:34:36,286
♪ Somewhere there's heaven,
how high the moon... ♪
1807
01:34:36,286 --> 01:34:39,248
Uh, where'd they go?
1808
01:34:39,998 --> 01:34:41,458
Good morning, Mr. Steenbeck.
1809
01:34:41,458 --> 01:34:43,627
Juice preference, please--
apple, orange or tomato.
1810
01:34:43,627 --> 01:34:45,462
Where'd they go? Everybody.
1811
01:34:45,462 --> 01:34:46,964
Of course. I understand.
1812
01:34:46,964 --> 01:34:48,966
The president lifted
the quarantine after all,
1813
01:34:48,966 --> 01:34:50,467
at midnight.
1814
01:34:50,467 --> 01:34:52,302
He sent the whole gang home--
the troops, the cowboys,
1815
01:34:52,302 --> 01:34:54,012
the Junior Stargazers
and Space Cadets.
1816
01:34:54,012 --> 01:34:56,515
You are free to return
back to wherever you came from.
1817
01:34:56,515 --> 01:34:58,350
We had 11 checkouts
this morning.
1818
01:34:58,350 --> 01:35:00,394
I guess you overslept.
1819
01:35:00,394 --> 01:35:02,312
They returned your
science projects, by the way.
1820
01:35:02,312 --> 01:35:03,939
Hmm.
1821
01:35:05,065 --> 01:35:07,234
-Tomato.
-Right away.
1822
01:35:13,782 --> 01:35:17,244
The plan was to shovel it up
and take her with us.
1823
01:35:17,244 --> 01:35:20,622
Like I said,
we'll exhume the Tupperware.
1824
01:35:20,622 --> 01:35:23,208
We don't have any burial rights
to this plot here.
1825
01:35:23,208 --> 01:35:25,210
I would question
whether it even is a plot.
1826
01:35:25,210 --> 01:35:26,628
It isn't.
1827
01:35:26,628 --> 01:35:28,714
-Don't murder my mother's ashes!
-He's killing her!
1828
01:35:28,714 --> 01:35:31,467
No, no, no, no. Let us pray.
1829
01:35:35,471 --> 01:35:37,014
Poppy!
1830
01:35:38,474 --> 01:35:41,143
Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank thee for the life
1831
01:35:41,143 --> 01:35:45,105
of this magnificent woman,
who was once just a little girl
1832
01:35:45,105 --> 01:35:47,774
like these three
witches in training.
1833
01:35:47,774 --> 01:35:49,359
-Not in training.
-We are witches.
1834
01:35:49,359 --> 01:35:50,986
Part witch, part alien.
1835
01:35:50,986 --> 01:35:53,363
Like these three witches
at one time.
1836
01:35:53,363 --> 01:35:56,282
We had no intention
of permanently burying her
1837
01:35:56,282 --> 01:35:58,284
next to this unmarked cactus,
1838
01:35:58,284 --> 01:35:59,785
but I no longer have
the strength
1839
01:35:59,785 --> 01:36:02,788
to fight for her dignity,
nor neither does Augie.
1840
01:36:02,788 --> 01:36:04,540
-Do you?
-No.
1841
01:36:04,540 --> 01:36:07,627
So we'll defer to the wishes
of her stubborn daughters.
1842
01:36:07,627 --> 01:36:11,214
Woodrow, any final farewell?
1843
01:36:11,214 --> 01:36:13,007
I don't believe in God anymore.
1844
01:36:13,007 --> 01:36:14,425
Fair enough.
1845
01:36:14,425 --> 01:36:17,470
-Amen.
Amen.
1846
01:36:17,470 --> 01:36:20,056
Friskity, triskity,
briskity, boo,
1847
01:36:20,056 --> 01:36:23,351
knickerty, knockerty,
tockerty, too.
1848
01:36:23,351 --> 01:36:25,645
Mama is in the ground.
1849
01:36:25,645 --> 01:36:27,980
Say the prayer for Mama.
1850
01:36:27,980 --> 01:36:30,608
Mama, we'll say the prayer, too.
1851
01:36:30,608 --> 01:36:32,235
You are beautiful...
1852
01:36:33,819 --> 01:36:35,613
Five orders of flapjacks
and two black coffees.
1853
01:36:35,613 --> 01:36:37,406
-Thanks.
1854
01:36:40,243 --> 01:36:41,661
Who needs to pee?
1855
01:36:41,661 --> 01:36:43,371
-Nobody needs to pee.
-I don't. -Not me.
1856
01:36:43,371 --> 01:36:45,081
How about a glass
of strawberry milk?
1857
01:36:45,081 --> 01:36:47,124
Mmm.
-Yes, please.
1858
01:36:48,584 --> 01:36:51,295
Somebody win that scholarship?
1859
01:36:51,295 --> 01:36:53,256
I did.
1860
01:36:53,256 --> 01:36:54,924
-When?
-Last night.
1861
01:36:54,924 --> 01:36:57,843
General Gibson slipped it to me
in line at the communal showers.
1862
01:36:57,843 --> 01:36:59,887
I think he just wanted
to get it over with.
1863
01:36:59,887 --> 01:37:02,265
It's actually a standard-sized
check of typical dimensions.
1864
01:37:02,265 --> 01:37:04,350
The big one's only for show.
1865
01:37:04,350 --> 01:37:06,352
-Wow.
-Congratulations, Woodrow.
1866
01:37:06,352 --> 01:37:07,728
That's, uh, stupendous.
1867
01:37:07,728 --> 01:37:09,188
You must be
some kind of a genius.
1868
01:37:09,188 --> 01:37:10,398
I agree.
1869
01:37:10,398 --> 01:37:13,025
You must be
some kind of brainiac.
1870
01:37:14,026 --> 01:37:15,861
Has it got any strings
attached to it?
1871
01:37:15,861 --> 01:37:17,446
It's made out to you personally.
1872
01:37:17,446 --> 01:37:19,490
How you plan to use it?
1873
01:37:20,740 --> 01:37:23,034
I'll probably spend it
on my girlfriend.
1874
01:37:26,830 --> 01:37:29,583
What do you write
in that little book?
1875
01:37:30,959 --> 01:37:32,711
Next year's project,
confidentially.
1876
01:37:32,711 --> 01:37:34,796
-Gee whiz. Look at that. Whoa.
-Wow. Is that possible?
1877
01:37:34,796 --> 01:37:36,756
-Is that possible?
1878
01:37:36,756 --> 01:37:40,135
Midge Campbell
left you her address.
1879
01:37:40,135 --> 01:37:42,971
It's just a post office box.
1880
01:37:44,973 --> 01:37:46,641
What happened
that night I saw the...
1881
01:37:46,641 --> 01:37:48,226
That's none of
your business, Stanley.
1882
01:37:48,226 --> 01:37:49,978
I know. Of course it isn't.
1883
01:37:49,978 --> 01:37:51,563
I only ask because
Woodrow told me
1884
01:37:51,563 --> 01:37:53,315
-Dinah told him.
-I understand. I understand.
1885
01:37:53,315 --> 01:37:54,816
I understand.
1886
01:37:54,816 --> 01:37:57,485
I went to law school
with her former agent.
1887
01:37:57,485 --> 01:37:59,696
Anyway, I don't object.
1888
01:37:59,696 --> 01:38:02,782
She's actually
a very gifted comedienne.
1889
01:38:02,782 --> 01:38:04,326
That's true.
1890
01:38:07,912 --> 01:38:10,165
Another atom bomb test.
1891
01:38:32,979 --> 01:38:35,148
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1892
01:38:35,148 --> 01:38:36,941
♪ Going so fast ♪
1893
01:38:36,941 --> 01:38:38,985
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1894
01:38:38,985 --> 01:38:40,779
♪ Going so fast ♪
1895
01:38:40,779 --> 01:38:43,615
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
1896
01:38:43,615 --> 01:38:46,116
-♪ Won't you tell me... ♪
1897
01:38:46,116 --> 01:38:48,285
Woodrow, let's go.
1898
01:38:55,751 --> 01:38:57,252
♪ Don't know where ♪
1899
01:38:57,252 --> 01:38:59,630
-♪ He's heading for ♪
1900
01:38:59,630 --> 01:39:01,131
♪ What he's done ♪
1901
01:39:01,131 --> 01:39:03,425
-♪ Against the law ♪
1902
01:39:03,425 --> 01:39:06,595
♪ Got no future, got no hope ♪
1903
01:39:06,595 --> 01:39:10,474
♪ Just nothing but the rope ♪
1904
01:39:18,482 --> 01:39:20,401
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1905
01:39:20,401 --> 01:39:22,152
♪ Going so fast ♪
1906
01:39:22,152 --> 01:39:24,363
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1907
01:39:24,363 --> 01:39:26,115
♪ Going so fast ♪
1908
01:39:26,115 --> 01:39:28,701
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
1909
01:39:28,701 --> 01:39:30,869
-♪ Won't you tell me ♪
1910
01:39:30,869 --> 01:39:33,414
♪ Where he's gone ♪
1911
01:39:41,213 --> 01:39:45,008
♪ He lost his reason,
lost his life ♪
1912
01:39:45,008 --> 01:39:48,887
♪ He killed his friend
in mortal strife ♪
1913
01:39:48,887 --> 01:39:52,182
♪ He must keep moving
like the rolling skies ♪
1914
01:39:52,182 --> 01:39:56,437
♪ Just a-waitin' till he dies ♪
1915
01:40:04,153 --> 01:40:06,113
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1916
01:40:06,113 --> 01:40:07,906
♪ Going so fast ♪
1917
01:40:07,906 --> 01:40:09,907
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1918
01:40:09,907 --> 01:40:11,743
♪ Going so fast ♪
1919
01:40:11,743 --> 01:40:14,787
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
1920
01:40:14,787 --> 01:40:19,000
♪ Won't you tell me
where he's gone ♪
1921
01:40:26,966 --> 01:40:30,928
♪ When he dies,
just bury him, please ♪
1922
01:40:30,928 --> 01:40:34,891
♪ Way down the end
of old Chestnut Street ♪
1923
01:40:34,891 --> 01:40:38,186
♪ Poplars at his head and feet ♪
1924
01:40:38,186 --> 01:40:42,815
♪ And tell them
he's gone to sleep ♪
1925
01:40:50,031 --> 01:40:52,074
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1926
01:40:52,074 --> 01:40:53,826
♪ Going so fast ♪
1927
01:40:53,826 --> 01:40:55,787
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
1928
01:40:55,787 --> 01:40:57,663
♪ Going so fast ♪
1929
01:40:57,663 --> 01:41:00,750
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
1930
01:41:00,750 --> 01:41:04,754
♪ Won't you tell me
where he's gone. ♪
1931
01:41:40,997 --> 01:41:45,168
♪ You ♪
1932
01:41:47,546 --> 01:41:50,799
♪ Can't wake up ♪
1933
01:41:50,799 --> 01:41:54,553
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
1934
01:41:54,553 --> 01:41:58,390
♪ You can't fall in love ♪
1935
01:41:58,390 --> 01:42:02,102
♪ And land on your feet ♪
1936
01:42:02,102 --> 01:42:05,480
♪ You won't smell the roses ♪
1937
01:42:05,480 --> 01:42:09,484
♪ If you never plant a seed ♪
1938
01:42:09,484 --> 01:42:12,612
♪ And you can't wake up ♪
1939
01:42:12,612 --> 01:42:17,325
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
1940
01:42:20,245 --> 01:42:24,040
♪ You can't make an entrance ♪
1941
01:42:24,040 --> 01:42:26,793
♪ If you keep missing your cue ♪
1942
01:42:28,670 --> 01:42:31,047
♪ And you won't pick a winner ♪
1943
01:42:31,047 --> 01:42:35,719
♪ Till you learn how to choose ♪
1944
01:42:35,719 --> 01:42:38,805
♪ You'll never find
the treasure ♪
1945
01:42:38,805 --> 01:42:42,517
♪ Unless you dig deep ♪
1946
01:42:42,517 --> 01:42:45,687
♪ And you can't wake up ♪
1947
01:42:45,687 --> 01:42:49,608
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
1948
01:42:53,153 --> 01:42:56,864
♪ Oh, you'll never ♪
1949
01:42:56,864 --> 01:43:00,492
♪ Have memories ♪
1950
01:43:00,492 --> 01:43:03,913
♪ Worth keeping ♪
1951
01:43:06,665 --> 01:43:11,295
♪ Oh, you'll never ♪
1952
01:43:11,295 --> 01:43:14,632
♪ Find the truth ♪
1953
01:43:14,632 --> 01:43:18,844
♪ You are seeking ♪
1954
01:43:24,975 --> 01:43:29,021
♪ While you are sleeping ♪
1955
01:43:33,108 --> 01:43:37,404
♪ But you can't wake up ♪
1956
01:43:37,404 --> 01:43:41,241
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
1957
01:43:41,241 --> 01:43:45,037
♪ So go live your dreams ♪
1958
01:43:45,037 --> 01:43:47,873
♪ And live them real deep ♪
1959
01:43:47,873 --> 01:43:52,503
♪ There is some counting money ♪
1960
01:43:52,503 --> 01:43:57,675
♪ And there's some
counting sheep ♪
1961
01:43:57,675 --> 01:44:01,845
♪ Oh, you can't wake up ♪
1962
01:44:01,845 --> 01:44:07,226
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
1963
01:44:13,148 --> 01:44:16,735
♪ If you don't fall asleep. ♪
1964
01:45:02,405 --> 01:45:04,490
Wicked.
137459
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.