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1
00:00:02,301 --> 00:00:05,370
Merry Christmas, honey.
Look what I'm standing under.
2
00:00:05,404 --> 00:00:07,071
Actually,
what am I standing under?
3
00:00:07,105 --> 00:00:09,339
Oh, it's broccolini with
a ribbon wrapped around it.
4
00:00:09,407 --> 00:00:11,908
- They were out of mistletoe.
- You little elf.
5
00:00:11,942 --> 00:00:15,879
Hey, don't forget... we're
doing our gift exchange tonight.
6
00:00:15,913 --> 00:00:16,570
Are you sure you're ready?
7
00:00:16,648 --> 00:00:19,516
'Cause mine's gonna make you cry
and not in a good way.
8
00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:22,686
Our first Christmas, we couldn't
even afford to get each other gifts.
9
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,820
And our Christmas eve dinner
10
00:00:24,854 --> 00:00:29,825
was just a hard Italian salami
and crusty French bread.
11
00:00:29,859 --> 00:00:31,694
So each year it's been
an escalating contest
12
00:00:31,728 --> 00:00:33,996
to see who can give the gift
with the most wow factor.
13
00:00:34,030 --> 00:00:38,834
Sometimes it gets a little competitive,
but it's really all about the love.
14
00:00:38,868 --> 00:00:41,703
- I will destroy you.
- Yeah, you wish.
15
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,872
My gift is going to kick
your gift's ass.
16
00:00:44,907 --> 00:00:47,575
- Ugh.
- This is why Christmas sucks.
17
00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:50,178
It turns people into a bunch
of shopping addicts.
18
00:00:50,212 --> 00:00:51,879
This doesn't have anything
to do with the hanukkah party
19
00:00:51,914 --> 00:00:53,332
you went to at the Goldbergs'
last night, does it?
20
00:00:53,352 --> 00:00:56,093
It's chanukkah.
And, yes. You weren't there.
21
00:00:56,195 --> 00:00:59,063
You don't understand
how 5,000 years of persecution
22
00:00:59,098 --> 00:01:02,090
- can bond a people...
- Snooze. Christmas is the best.
23
00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:03,558
Other holidays would kill
to be Christmas.
24
00:01:03,592 --> 00:01:07,362
Passover and labor day would be
like, "maybe if we joined forces..."
25
00:01:07,396 --> 00:01:09,965
and Christmas would be like,
"yeah? Good luck with that."
26
00:01:09,999 --> 00:01:12,900
- Meshuggeneh, right?
- Don't patronize me.
27
00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:15,002
I think it's perfectly healthy
28
00:01:15,037 --> 00:01:17,404
that Eve is questioning
her spiritual identity.
29
00:01:17,439 --> 00:01:20,842
- When I was studying psychology...
- You didn't study psychology.
30
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:23,172
- You were admitted for observation.
- Joke's on you.
31
00:01:23,231 --> 00:01:26,587
I just acted crazy 'cause
I thought the Doctor was cute.
32
00:01:26,665 --> 00:01:28,714
Yeah, joke's on me.
33
00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:33,386
Hey, buddy.
Big day today, huh?
34
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:36,456
Want to help me bake
some cookies for Santa later?
35
00:01:36,490 --> 00:01:39,926
Nah, you can do it.
36
00:01:39,961 --> 00:01:41,627
You did this.
37
00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:44,363
- Did what?
- You dropped the ball.
38
00:01:44,397 --> 00:01:46,565
You stopped cultivating
the magic of Christmas for him.
39
00:01:46,599 --> 00:01:50,936
- Now he's slowly turning dead inside.
- I cultivate plenty of magic.
40
00:01:50,971 --> 00:01:52,571
- Yeah, you do.
- Thank you.
41
00:01:52,605 --> 00:01:54,240
When I was eight,
I entrusted you with a letter
42
00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:56,708
to Santa asking for a Matchbox car.
43
00:01:56,743 --> 00:01:58,610
Well, I can only assume
that that letter
44
00:01:58,644 --> 00:02:01,913
never reached the North Pole
because I never got said car.
45
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,582
If it's any consolation, you're
not getting a real car either.
46
00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:07,318
If Graham grows up too quickly,
what's Christmas morning gonna be...
47
00:02:07,353 --> 00:02:09,921
a bunch of adults hanging
out, waiting till noon
48
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,490
to open gifts so they can
eat asparagus frittatas?
49
00:02:12,524 --> 00:02:14,492
Ian, Graham's eight.
Eventually he's gonna find out...
50
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:15,839
[shouts nonsense]
51
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,313
If I have anything to say about it,
52
00:02:17,313 --> 00:02:20,670
that kid is not gonna figure out
a single thing.
53
00:02:20,688 --> 00:02:24,101
- You're just the man for the job.
- Damn straight. [clicks tongue]
54
00:02:24,135 --> 00:02:25,668
Wait. Was that a slam?
55
00:02:25,703 --> 00:02:31,240
- No.
- Okay, cool. Thanks, Dad.
56
00:02:31,889 --> 00:02:34,485
[upbeat music]
57
00:02:35,345 --> 00:02:38,519
1x11 - "Christmas"
58
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,520
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
59
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:47,273
Annie's gonna love this.
Oh, Mike, this is gorgeous.
60
00:02:47,307 --> 00:02:50,109
- Why the turtle?
- It's my nickname for Annie.
61
00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:51,678
She's resilient but vulnerable.
62
00:02:51,712 --> 00:02:53,713
She has that tough,
hard-shell exterior,
63
00:02:53,747 --> 00:02:56,182
but inside she's soft and squishy.
64
00:02:56,216 --> 00:02:59,686
That doesn't sound like a turtle.
That sounds like a marshmallow M&M...
65
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,654
Which I think I just invented.
66
00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:04,556
Merry Christmas, Mr. Henry.
67
00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:07,693
- I got you a little something.
- I got you something too.
68
00:03:07,727 --> 00:03:10,395
A Starbucks gift card
with 100 bucks on it.
69
00:03:10,529 --> 00:03:16,528
Could have gone 50, but with 100,
you get the free French press.
70
00:03:16,903 --> 00:03:20,638
- Hmm?
- Open it.
71
00:03:20,672 --> 00:03:24,441
Oh, wow.
That is incredibly nice.
72
00:03:24,476 --> 00:03:28,713
- Y-you shouldn't have.
- Oh, don't be silly. It was nothing.
73
00:03:28,747 --> 00:03:30,548
I had it special-made for you,
it's monogrammed,
74
00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:32,449
and your favorite
Edward R. Murrow quote
75
00:03:32,484 --> 00:03:35,118
- is stitched into the lining.
- You really shouldn't have.
76
00:03:35,152 --> 00:03:38,204
It's just a small token of my
gratitude for having the opportunity
77
00:03:38,205 --> 00:03:41,257
to work with someone who
inspires me every single day.
78
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,922
You're probably wondering
what I got you.
79
00:03:45,956 --> 00:03:48,224
I'll just grab it now.
80
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
81
00:03:58,735 --> 00:04:01,804
[chuckles]
82
00:04:04,274 --> 00:04:06,675
Oh, my god.
83
00:04:10,279 --> 00:04:12,847
- Oh, my god.
- Yep. So there it is.
84
00:04:12,881 --> 00:04:16,351
- No undoing it.
- And it has a turtle on it...
85
00:04:16,385 --> 00:04:19,153
Because I went
to University of Maryland.
86
00:04:19,188 --> 00:04:21,787
That's right. Go, Terrapins.
87
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,288
Thanks for watching Graham.
88
00:04:27,322 --> 00:04:29,090
I just have
a few more papers to grade.
89
00:04:29,124 --> 00:04:31,325
No problem, but I'm taking
this fruitcake with me,
90
00:04:31,359 --> 00:04:34,963
because I'm kind of zooming
on nog right now.
91
00:04:34,997 --> 00:04:38,164
I really appreciate you
keeping an eye on him.
92
00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:40,166
I really appreciatyoyou
keeping an eye on her.
93
00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:41,802
Yep. I'm on it.
94
00:04:41,836 --> 00:04:44,270
My gift for Mike was so amazing.
95
00:04:44,305 --> 00:04:46,807
If Leigh found out what it was,
she'd try and horn in on it,
96
00:04:46,841 --> 00:04:50,701
so, yeah, I tricked her.
Christmas is an ugly business.
97
00:04:50,845 --> 00:04:53,124
Have fun.
98
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:55,278
Letter to Santa.
From Graham.
99
00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:58,851
Sitting open on the back of the
toilet like some redbook magazine.
100
00:04:58,885 --> 00:05:02,255
I can't believe you. If he
had seen this, pah, game over.
101
00:05:02,289 --> 00:05:04,156
Did you even get him
what he asked for?
102
00:05:04,191 --> 00:05:06,795
Ian, I have been all over town
trying to find that toy for Graham.
103
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:08,479
I got punched in the boob
by two different moms
104
00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:11,647
because apparently
space dog is very popular.
105
00:05:11,964 --> 00:05:13,498
[groans]
Okay, you know what?
106
00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:15,200
You may not care about this,
107
00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:18,183
but I am getting him that space fish.
108
00:05:20,373 --> 00:05:23,108
Uch, such bickering.
109
00:05:24,476 --> 00:05:28,113
- Can we go for ice cream?
- It's five degrees outside.
110
00:05:28,147 --> 00:05:29,981
Can we go if I tell you
what Mom's up to?
111
00:05:30,015 --> 00:05:32,751
I already know.
She's grading papers.
112
00:05:32,785 --> 00:05:35,186
Wait. She doesn't grade papers
until New Year's morning,
113
00:05:35,221 --> 00:05:37,222
hungover with a bloody mary
in the bathtub.
114
00:05:37,256 --> 00:05:40,557
- What is she up to?
- Ice cream.
115
00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:44,327
Fine. But then
you're gonna spill it...
116
00:05:44,362 --> 00:05:47,143
the info, not the ice cream.
117
00:05:47,766 --> 00:05:50,968
In gold.
With the turtle charm.
118
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,936
You have one left?
That's great.
119
00:05:52,971 --> 00:05:56,379
Great. Put it on hold,
I'll be there in half an hour.
120
00:05:56,474 --> 00:05:58,541
Good news.
Susan called in sick.
121
00:05:58,576 --> 00:06:00,009
So you're anchoring tonight.
122
00:06:00,043 --> 00:06:04,147
- Welcome home, sweet prince.
- Harris, that's bad news.
123
00:06:04,181 --> 00:06:05,782
Yeah, for our competitors.
124
00:06:05,816 --> 00:06:07,417
Mike Henry,
back in the driver's seat,
125
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,985
working that clutch,
hugging them curves.
126
00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:10,654
Put the Ferrari
back in the garage, man.
127
00:06:10,688 --> 00:06:13,054
- I got to be somewhere.
- Yeah, at the anchor desk.
128
00:06:13,089 --> 00:06:15,190
Look at her.
She's calling to you.
129
00:06:15,224 --> 00:06:16,692
"Hey, Mike, it's me.
130
00:06:16,726 --> 00:06:19,595
I miss you.
I want you behind me."
131
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,398
- Okay, you touched me with your lips.
- I'm aware of that.
132
00:06:22,432 --> 00:06:24,400
- Okay, enough.
- Oh, come on, man.
133
00:06:24,434 --> 00:06:26,769
Listen, my hurt feelings aside,
134
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,841
you're contractually obligated,
so anchor up.
135
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:33,334
Mike, no, you can't anchor
tonight of all nights.
136
00:06:33,369 --> 00:06:37,038
We have to do our gift exchange.
My gift is time-sensitive.
137
00:06:37,072 --> 00:06:41,075
Okay, fine. Just get home
as soon as you possibly can.
138
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,510
Remember how I said my gift
this year was amazing?
139
00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:46,680
Well, it was.
Check that.
140
00:06:46,714 --> 00:06:48,182
He was.
141
00:06:48,216 --> 00:06:52,986
Everything's fine...
Mr. Sting.
142
00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,389
Oh, just "Sting."
"Sting" works.
143
00:06:55,423 --> 00:06:57,457
- Cookies?
- I didn't get to look this good
144
00:06:57,492 --> 00:07:00,193
- by eating cookies.
- Oh.
145
00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:03,663
Mind you, it is Christmas.
I'll have one.
146
00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:10,194
Thank you so much for doing this.
147
00:07:10,228 --> 00:07:11,828
Here's my card.
It's on hold under my name.
148
00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:13,530
Okay, but don't take this
as an endorsement
149
00:07:13,565 --> 00:07:16,666
of the capitalist orgy
known as "Gift-mas."
150
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:19,102
That's what I now call Christmas.
151
00:07:19,136 --> 00:07:20,936
- Yeah, I get it.
- Wait. But I thought
152
00:07:20,971 --> 00:07:23,706
- you already got Mom something.
- I did, but I gave it away...
153
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:26,576
- to Kay.
- 18-karat gold.
154
00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:27,876
What the hell, Dad?
Are you shtupping her?
155
00:07:27,911 --> 00:07:31,880
No. Are you seriously asking me that,
or is it just an excuse to use Yiddish?
156
00:07:31,915 --> 00:07:34,816
I'm just saying, why did you
get her something so nice?
157
00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:38,886
- Out of guilt.
- Now this I understand.
158
00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:44,392
I'm so sorry, Sting, but Mike is
just running a little bit late.
159
00:07:44,427 --> 00:07:46,794
- No problem.
- Even though Mike's a huge fan,
160
00:07:46,829 --> 00:07:50,864
I just never really got into Sting.
I'm more of a hair-band girl.
161
00:07:50,898 --> 00:07:53,300
But I pulled a few strings
162
00:07:53,335 --> 00:07:55,236
when I found out
that we had the same Doctor...
163
00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:56,903
An ear, nose, and throat guy.
164
00:07:56,938 --> 00:07:59,540
I had strep.
He had nodes.
165
00:07:59,574 --> 00:08:03,970
And then our hands met
over an old copy of people.
166
00:08:04,096 --> 00:08:08,064
I hope this isn't a stereotype,
but I went ahead and made some tea.
167
00:08:08,099 --> 00:08:09,699
Oh, no, I don't mind at all.
168
00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:12,568
I mean, after all, I am
an Englishman in New York.
169
00:08:12,603 --> 00:08:16,773
And I'm an American in an apartment.
[both chuckles]
170
00:08:16,808 --> 00:08:17,774
No, no, no.
171
00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:20,844
I'm an alien
I'm a legal alien
172
00:08:20,878 --> 00:08:22,544
I'm an Englishman in New York
173
00:08:22,578 --> 00:08:25,247
Oh, the song! Oh!
174
00:08:25,282 --> 00:08:28,250
I love that song from
that... album that you did.
175
00:08:28,285 --> 00:08:29,880
You want some honey?
176
00:08:30,236 --> 00:08:34,506
- Oh, come on.
- Ian, what's wrong?
177
00:08:34,541 --> 00:08:36,842
- I can't, not in front of him.
- You're worried about him?
178
00:08:36,877 --> 00:08:39,343
He's 100% focused
on that ice cream.
179
00:08:39,378 --> 00:08:42,080
Watch.
Sweetie, I fed your dog to a dragon.
180
00:08:42,114 --> 00:08:44,602
See? Nothing.
181
00:08:44,717 --> 00:08:48,619
I am trying to get him a space fish,
and every store in town is sold out.
182
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:51,890
Well, I don't know if this will help,
but I know a guy who can get things.
183
00:08:51,924 --> 00:08:53,357
What do you mean, "get things"?
184
00:08:53,392 --> 00:08:56,459
You know, like, things
that "fall off trucks,"
185
00:08:56,494 --> 00:09:00,064
That he "steals."
You want me to call him?
186
00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:02,933
I will try anything at this point.
187
00:09:04,202 --> 00:09:08,539
Where am I?
I'm cold.
188
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:12,475
The Mayor's office is expected to
release a report in the New Year.
189
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,311
I got to say...
it felt great being back,
190
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:17,146
giving the people of New York
the important news of the day.
191
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,516
And when we return,
move over Felix and Oscar.
192
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,418
There's a new odd couple in town...
193
00:09:21,452 --> 00:09:23,862
a lamb and a monkey are friends.
194
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:27,027
The news used to be...
"newsier."
195
00:09:27,103 --> 00:09:29,872
[cell phone vibrates]
196
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,178
Yes.
197
00:09:32,212 --> 00:09:34,380
Drink this.
You need to stay hydrated.
198
00:09:34,414 --> 00:09:36,983
- Thank you.
- Funny story...
199
00:09:37,017 --> 00:09:39,152
because of your gift,
I broke up with my fiance.
200
00:09:39,186 --> 00:09:41,219
[coughing]
You what?
201
00:09:41,254 --> 00:09:43,188
The necklace was so amazing,
and it made me realize
202
00:09:43,222 --> 00:09:44,823
I deserve better.
203
00:09:44,857 --> 00:09:46,658
Kevin's never done anything
this thoughtful for me.
204
00:09:46,692 --> 00:09:48,393
Kevin...
that's my fiance's name.
205
00:09:48,427 --> 00:09:51,329
Oh, ex-fiance.
I've got to get used to saying that.
206
00:09:51,363 --> 00:09:52,964
But it was the right thing to do.
207
00:09:52,999 --> 00:09:55,533
I mean, he got me a Starbucks
gift card for Christmas.
208
00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:58,504
A Starbucks gift card
is nothing to sneeze at.
209
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,755
They sell CDs now.
210
00:10:00,789 --> 00:10:02,957
Honestly, I should have done
this a long time ago.
211
00:10:02,991 --> 00:10:05,125
You just gave me the kick
in the pants that I needed.
212
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,162
Would it help
if I took back the necklace?
213
00:10:08,196 --> 00:10:10,598
Hey, Mike, I just got off
the phone with the Bronx Zoo.
214
00:10:10,632 --> 00:10:12,266
We got to kill
the monkey-lamb story.
215
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,815
- Why?
- The monkey killed the lamb.
216
00:10:14,068 --> 00:10:15,935
Could have seen that coming.
217
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,571
You just vamp.
You're the king of vamping.
218
00:10:17,605 --> 00:10:19,407
Just...
[upbeat music]
219
00:10:20,441 --> 00:10:24,411
Norad is reporting a strange
jingling noise over Hoboken,
220
00:10:24,445 --> 00:10:26,112
and now let's check in
on what's happening
221
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,814
in the world of sports,
with Clint Matthews.
222
00:10:27,849 --> 00:10:30,082
So sports, then weather,
and then he'll be done.
223
00:10:30,116 --> 00:10:32,618
- I promise.
- Oh, it's fine, Annie, really.
224
00:10:32,653 --> 00:10:36,955
I'm kind of eager to see how
that lamb-monkey story plays out.
225
00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:39,958
- That's so nice.
- Oh. It's my pleasure.
226
00:10:39,993 --> 00:10:42,361
I'm prepared to sit here
for as long as it takes.
227
00:10:42,396 --> 00:10:45,397
"As long as it takes"...
love that song.
228
00:10:45,431 --> 00:10:49,067
- Not a song, just talking.
- Oh.
229
00:10:49,101 --> 00:10:52,270
Mind you, it's not a bad title.
230
00:10:52,338 --> 00:10:55,607
-
As long as it takes
-
as long as it takes
231
00:10:55,641 --> 00:10:57,642
- I'll work on it.
- Oh, okay.
232
00:10:57,827 --> 00:10:59,361
All right,
I got you the ice cream
233
00:10:59,395 --> 00:11:01,996
and the hot cocoa
because you were too cold
234
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:05,099
from the ice cream.
Now, what's your mom up to?
235
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:07,701
She got Dad a famous singer
for his Christmas present.
236
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:08,836
He's upstairs right now.
237
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:12,373
- Oh, my god. Who is it?
- It's Jim?
238
00:11:12,407 --> 00:11:15,409
Maybe Joe.
Something with a "J" in it.
239
00:11:15,444 --> 00:11:19,014
- This cocoa's mine now.
- He plays the piano.
240
00:11:19,647 --> 00:11:21,749
Is it Billy Joel?
241
00:11:21,783 --> 00:11:23,684
I think so.
Give me the cocoa.
242
00:11:23,718 --> 00:11:28,054
Billy Joel's upstairs
right now in my building?
243
00:11:28,089 --> 00:11:29,189
We are going up there.
244
00:11:29,223 --> 00:11:30,858
Wait.
What, are you crazy?
245
00:11:30,892 --> 00:11:32,892
I can't go up there looking like this.
246
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,761
I have to do some crunches.
247
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,363
Stand on my feet!
248
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:43,469
Excuse me. Uh, I'm looking
for a guy named Chris.
249
00:11:43,504 --> 00:11:46,572
Chris! There's some
dude here to see you!
250
00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:50,108
You must be Ian.
I've been waiting for you.
251
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:51,677
[laughs]
252
00:11:51,681 --> 00:11:55,250
Has anyone ever told you,
you kind of look like...
253
00:11:55,285 --> 00:11:59,388
Clooney?
Yeah, I get that all the time.
254
00:11:59,422 --> 00:12:01,669
Uh, how can I help you?
255
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:04,225
This is Mike Henry
telling you to stay informed
256
00:12:04,259 --> 00:12:08,333
and wishing you nothing but
peace and joy this holiday season.
257
00:12:10,499 --> 00:12:12,800
Son of a...
Damn it!
258
00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:14,455
- What happened?
- Sorry, Dad.
259
00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:16,257
But apparently somebody
got there and bought it
260
00:12:16,292 --> 00:12:19,592
- ten minutes before me.
- But I had it on hold!
261
00:12:19,627 --> 00:12:22,762
Well, turns out cold,
hard cash beats "on hold,"
262
00:12:22,797 --> 00:12:26,133
especially on Christmas.
Oy.
263
00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:28,135
Okay, do me a favor...
go back in there, buy anything.
264
00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:31,238
- I'll take a toe ring at this point.
- The store closed.
265
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,273
Everything closed.
It's Christmas eve.
266
00:12:33,308 --> 00:12:35,541
Okay, honey,
I'll take it from here.
267
00:12:35,575 --> 00:12:37,576
- Hey, Mike.
- Yeah, I know, I crushed it.
268
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:39,078
Email me your compliments.
I gotta go.
269
00:12:39,112 --> 00:12:41,314
- Oh, you can't go.
- Why not?
270
00:12:41,348 --> 00:12:45,318
Welcome back to continuous
coverage of storm watch '13.
271
00:12:45,352 --> 00:12:47,653
I'm told it's coming down
pretty hard out there,
272
00:12:47,687 --> 00:12:49,822
so we'll bring it to you live...
273
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,185
all night if we have to.
274
00:12:53,321 --> 00:12:55,585
The snow is not letting up,
so expect delays getting home.
275
00:12:55,619 --> 00:12:57,086
And if you have
a gift exchange planned,
276
00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:59,021
you might want to reschedule it
to the morning...
277
00:12:59,055 --> 00:13:00,788
late morning.
278
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:02,424
Look, you've got to know this one.
279
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,160
If you love somebody,
set them free.
280
00:13:05,194 --> 00:13:09,864
- Totally.
- Sing it for me.
281
00:13:09,898 --> 00:13:12,167
if you...
Can't do it.
282
00:13:12,201 --> 00:13:14,102
Seriously, you don't know
any of my songs?
283
00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:16,870
Message in a Bottle,
Roxanne, Fields of Gold?
284
00:13:16,904 --> 00:13:19,573
- I'm sorry.
- Objectively speaking,
285
00:13:19,608 --> 00:13:23,510
and I have no dog in this fight,
but these are massive hits.
286
00:13:23,544 --> 00:13:25,278
It's not ego. Trust me.
287
00:13:25,312 --> 00:13:28,448
I shed that years ago through
transcendental meditation.
288
00:13:28,482 --> 00:13:30,650
The truth is, and I don't
even know how this happened,
289
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:34,020
but I have a black hole of knowledge
when it comes to your music.
290
00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:37,490
But Mike loves you.
And all of this was for him.
291
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,691
[voice breaking] And it would
have absolutely demolished
292
00:13:39,725 --> 00:13:41,693
any gift that he got for me.
293
00:13:41,727 --> 00:13:43,595
I'll tell you what...
294
00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:46,031
let's go down to the studio
and surprise him.
295
00:13:46,065 --> 00:13:50,436
- What? You'd really do that?
- Yeah, I'm a romantic.
296
00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:52,904
You don't play the lute
and not believe deeply in love.
297
00:13:52,939 --> 00:13:55,139
- You play the lute?
- Quit while you're ahead.
298
00:13:55,174 --> 00:13:56,680
- Let's go.
- I'm so sorry.
299
00:13:58,278 --> 00:13:59,711
There's the space fish.
300
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:01,313
- I knew I had one.
- Yes!
301
00:14:01,347 --> 00:14:04,149
Oh, my god,
you would not believe
302
00:14:04,183 --> 00:14:05,784
how hard it is to...
303
00:14:05,818 --> 00:14:08,420
to go anywhere
without seeing one of those,
304
00:14:08,454 --> 00:14:10,488
so you're gonna have to do
pretty good on the price.
305
00:14:10,522 --> 00:14:14,191
[chuckles]
Just take it.
306
00:14:14,225 --> 00:14:16,927
It's nice you care so much
about your little brother.
307
00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:21,299
This is amazing.
Thank you.
308
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:22,633
Merry Christmas.
309
00:14:22,668 --> 00:14:25,969
Oh, I have something for you, too.
310
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:39,015
It's a 1967 Ford Mustang...
311
00:14:39,049 --> 00:14:41,083
made famous by
the turn-of-the-century classic
312
00:14:41,118 --> 00:14:43,118
Gone in 60 Seconds.
313
00:14:43,152 --> 00:14:46,522
This is exactly what I wanted.
314
00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:48,807
- How did you...
- Just had a hunch.
315
00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:51,992
Merry Christmas, Ian.
316
00:14:52,471 --> 00:14:55,750
Got to go.
I have a busy night tonight.
317
00:14:55,776 --> 00:14:58,219
[laughing]
318
00:15:01,054 --> 00:15:02,754
Thanks so much for stopping.
319
00:15:02,789 --> 00:15:04,756
It sucks you have
to work on Christmas.
320
00:15:04,791 --> 00:15:06,091
Ah, it doesn't bother me.
321
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:09,061
- I'm Jewish.
- Me too.
322
00:15:09,095 --> 00:15:11,029
I mean, I wasn't born Jewish,
323
00:15:11,064 --> 00:15:15,099
and I'm not a practicing
Jew... ish person,
324
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:17,318
- but it really speaks to me.
- That's great.
325
00:15:17,319 --> 00:15:20,204
You want me to cut across
the Park or take 57th Street?
326
00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:24,842
My parents think that I'm just
rebelling, but that's totally not true.
327
00:15:24,876 --> 00:15:26,711
[scoffs]
I mean, Christmas is stupid.
328
00:15:26,745 --> 00:15:30,680
- It's so commercialized.
- Really? I love Christmas.
329
00:15:30,715 --> 00:15:32,716
- You do?
- Yeah, of course.
330
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:35,235
When someone gets in my
cab with the perfect gift
331
00:15:35,236 --> 00:15:37,066
for a loved one, you'll
never see a happier person.
332
00:15:37,245 --> 00:15:39,779
- Yeah, but don't you think...
- What's to think about?
333
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,516
The one day of the year
that brings everyone together...
334
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:45,051
there's got to be something
to that, right?
335
00:15:48,422 --> 00:15:50,289
- Can you just drop me off here?
- Sure.
336
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:53,392
Anyone home?
337
00:15:53,427 --> 00:15:55,961
It's just me,
your single sister-in-law
338
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,397
who loves Long Island.
339
00:15:58,432 --> 00:15:59,999
[cell phone vibrates]
Your phone's buzzing.
340
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:03,868
- Annie! Billy.
- It's a text from Mom.
341
00:16:03,902 --> 00:16:06,080
- She went to Dad's work.
- What?
342
00:16:06,106 --> 00:16:07,840
This is turning into one
of the heaviest snowstorms
343
00:16:07,874 --> 00:16:11,154
New York has seen in years.
Now, if we look here...
344
00:16:13,162 --> 00:16:16,598
in central Sudan...
it's dry as a bone.
345
00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:20,301
I'm sorry. I'm not good
with these touchscreens.
346
00:16:20,335 --> 00:16:22,436
Now we'll get closer.
347
00:16:22,471 --> 00:16:25,106
Okay, we're zooming in.
We're zooming in very close.
348
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:27,336
Do I see a guy?
349
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:30,878
Well, let's check in with Trent
at News 4 weather desk.
350
00:16:30,913 --> 00:16:33,834
[cell phone vibrates]
And we're clear.
351
00:16:35,484 --> 00:16:37,384
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, no.
352
00:16:41,356 --> 00:16:43,224
What are you doing, man?
You got to get back out there.
353
00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:44,592
I got to get a gift for Annie.
354
00:16:44,626 --> 00:16:46,494
Oh, here we go...
staple remover...
355
00:16:46,528 --> 00:16:49,061
and a stapler.
356
00:16:49,096 --> 00:16:53,199
It's a set. It's a set
of the worst gifts ever.
357
00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:56,402
Mike Henry!
You ruined my life!
358
00:16:56,437 --> 00:16:58,338
Kevin?!
What are you doing here?!
359
00:16:58,372 --> 00:17:00,590
- You're banging her, aren't you?
- What? No.
360
00:17:00,591 --> 00:17:03,709
Well, who the hell gives
his coworker a gold necklace?
361
00:17:03,744 --> 00:17:06,077
Oh!
[all gasp]
362
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:10,457
- Oh, my god.
- Whoa. Thank you...
363
00:17:10,850 --> 00:17:12,786
Sting.
364
00:17:12,821 --> 00:17:14,919
Damn.
Talk about the King of Pain.
365
00:17:14,954 --> 00:17:17,681
Thank you. Finally.
366
00:17:20,142 --> 00:17:21,742
Well, the worst has passed,
but New York will be digging
367
00:17:21,776 --> 00:17:24,511
- out of this one for days.
- Look at him up there.
368
00:17:24,546 --> 00:17:26,580
His hair's still mussed up
from his dustup,
369
00:17:26,614 --> 00:17:29,083
and he's still going strong.
How come nobody fixed his hair?
370
00:17:29,117 --> 00:17:30,684
Once again, this is Mike Henry
371
00:17:30,719 --> 00:17:32,653
wishing you a safe
and happy holiday season.
372
00:17:32,687 --> 00:17:33,787
We're clear.
373
00:17:33,822 --> 00:17:36,857
[applause]
374
00:17:36,891 --> 00:17:39,592
You were right.
Your gift literally kicks ass.
375
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,061
Pleasure to meet you
376
00:17:41,095 --> 00:17:42,896
and discover your
truly impressive combat skills.
377
00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:44,764
Well, if you're gonna play
the lute,
378
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:46,399
you need to learn to throw a punch.
379
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:49,236
Where is he?
Where's Billy?
380
00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:54,273
Wait. Sting?
Graham, this isn't Billy Joel.
381
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,876
- Sorry to disappoint.
- What are you talking about?
382
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,378
You're Sting.
Forget about Billy Joel.
383
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,946
Why are we even talking about him?
384
00:18:00,981 --> 00:18:03,082
He's stupid.
God, that smile.
385
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,750
It's always nice to meet a fan.
386
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,817
Listen, would you sign
these Billy Joel CDs?
387
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:09,453
No problem.
As myself or as Billy Joel?
388
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:12,456
Either one.
Let's get some nog.
389
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,326
Listen, honey,
about my gift for you...
390
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,996
I got it!
I got it, Dad!
391
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,464
You got it?
Eve's got it.
392
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,766
Sorry it took me so long.
I had to walk, like, 40 blocks.
393
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,736
Here you go, Mom, from Dad.
394
00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:27,938
Trust me.
395
00:18:27,972 --> 00:18:30,774
Oh...
396
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:33,476
Salami and French bread...
397
00:18:33,511 --> 00:18:38,147
Just like we had
our very first Christmas eve.
398
00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:42,118
It's perfect.
399
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,089
Thank you.
400
00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:48,490
You're perfect.
401
00:18:48,525 --> 00:18:51,627
Maybe Christmas isn't so bad.
402
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:53,862
Uh, is that who I think it is?
403
00:18:53,896 --> 00:18:55,764
Where's Trudie these days?
404
00:18:55,798 --> 00:18:57,665
Yeah, you missed a lot.
405
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,801
Family, you can stop worrying.
I'm here.
406
00:18:59,836 --> 00:19:02,104
- I totally forgot about him.
- Yeah.
407
00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:04,973
And I got space fish.
408
00:19:05,007 --> 00:19:07,209
But you knew that already,
didn't you?
409
00:19:07,243 --> 00:19:09,644
- Huh?
- Come on, Mom...
410
00:19:09,678 --> 00:19:12,646
[chuckling] who do you think
you're dealing with?
411
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,482
Setting up Aunt Leigh to give me
the phone number,
412
00:19:15,516 --> 00:19:17,451
sending me to the restaurant
with the Christmas lights,
413
00:19:17,485 --> 00:19:20,387
the space fish you
probably bought weeks ago.
414
00:19:20,421 --> 00:19:24,158
- Mm...
- The Matchbox car?
415
00:19:24,192 --> 00:19:28,527
Okay, Ian, if you're on drugs,
you need to tell me, okay?
416
00:19:28,562 --> 00:19:31,097
- We can get you help.
- Even if you're not.
417
00:19:31,132 --> 00:19:33,532
Wait.
If it wasn't you, then...
418
00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:37,336
Don't tell me I don't know
how to keep the magic alive.
419
00:19:37,371 --> 00:19:39,105
Ding.
420
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:41,374
And he had a big, white beard,
and his Tt-shirt was covered
421
00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:43,939
in marinara sauce
as rosy as his cheeks.
422
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,111
Sometimes a gift can come from
the last place you'd expect.
423
00:19:46,146 --> 00:19:50,149
It's not always the expensive
things that mean the most.
424
00:19:50,183 --> 00:19:53,752
What was that about...
hiding a rock star from me?
425
00:19:53,787 --> 00:19:55,854
I know, I know,
but to make it up to you,
426
00:19:55,889 --> 00:19:58,856
I got you a massage
at the red door spa.
427
00:19:58,891 --> 00:20:02,860
Ooh.
120 minutes, hot stone.
428
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,495
We're square.
429
00:20:04,529 --> 00:20:07,765
Other times, just go with expensive.
430
00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:12,369
I watch them drawn into the night
431
00:20:12,404 --> 00:20:17,308
beneath the August moon
432
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:20,469
and in my
433
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:24,650
private moments
434
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,685
I drop the mask
435
00:20:28,719 --> 00:20:33,723
that I've been forced to wear
436
00:20:33,757 --> 00:20:36,492
August winds...
I know this!
437
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:39,027
but no one knows
this secret me
438
00:20:39,061 --> 00:20:40,061
This one you know?
439
00:20:40,095 --> 00:20:44,199
where albeit unconsciously
440
00:20:44,233 --> 00:20:48,136
I count the boats returning
441
00:20:48,170 --> 00:20:50,672
from the sea
442
00:20:53,575 --> 00:20:57,311
I count the boats returning
443
00:20:57,346 --> 00:21:01,570
from the sea
444
00:21:02,116 --> 00:21:06,220
Let's face it...
Annie crushed me.
445
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,846
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446
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,124
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447
00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:18,724
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