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Now, nobody's saying the Chatsworth
Estate is the Garden of Eden, but
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00:00:05,420 --> 00:00:09,419
it's been a good home to us, to me,
Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who
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00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:14,619
I'm proud of, cos every single one
of 'em reminds me a little of me.
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00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:18,099
See, they can all
think for themselves,
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00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,499
which they've got me to thank for.
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00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:25,179
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,
which is why nobody calls him Phillip
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00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:27,299
any more. Ian, lot like his mam,
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which is handy for the others, cos
she's disappeared into thin air.
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And Carl. We daren't let him grow
his hair for two reasons.
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00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:36,899
One - it makes it stand on end
and makes him look like Toyah.
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00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:40,899
Two - nits love him.
Debbie, sent by God, total Angel.
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00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:45,259
You've to check your change, but
she'll go out of her way to do you a favour.
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00:00:45,260 --> 00:00:48,019
Plus little Liam,
who's gonna be a star some day.
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00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:51,659
Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier.
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00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,699
One plate short of a full set, like.
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00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:57,699
And fantastic neighbours, Kev and
Veronica. Lend ya anything.
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00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:01,659
Well, almost anything. Carol
and Marty, the lodgers from hell.
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00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:05,019
Last of the lonely hearts and
a psychologist's wet dream.
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00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:06,659
Still, nobody's perfect.
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00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:10,179
But all of 'em to a man know first
and foremost one of the most vital
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necessities in life is -
they know how to throw a party!
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00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:17,339
Scatter!
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00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:23,339
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,839
The thing about surprises is -
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they're better to give than to
receive.
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00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,639
Like 18th birthday parties.
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00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,639
The fun part is the planning. You
get to make the list, tick things
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00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,719
off, delegate jobs and be in charge.
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While the other person you're doing
it for just has
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to pretend they haven't noticed.
Which of course they always have.
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00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,439
Debs!
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00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:46,439
Cos' everyone's acting so weird.
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00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,959
See ya later.
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00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,959
Right, come on.
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00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,279
Carl!
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00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,999
Who's put that there?
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00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,359
Who puts a fucking pizza on a seat?
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00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,359
The real surprise in life, though,
you never get any warning about.
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00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,399
Shit, shit, shit, shit...
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00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,479
What the...?
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00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,479
Oh, oh, fucking hell!
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00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,839
Is there a next of kin?
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00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,839
There are two listed here, both
wives, which one should I call?
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Whichever one bloody answers!
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So, where's me present, then?
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You'll have to wait till tomorrow,
down the Trafford Centre.
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00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,199
Should I be worried?
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00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,999
Dad, Mum, over here.
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00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,999
Happy birthday, Philip.
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00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,399
Here's my baby!
Aw, I knew you'd miss me...
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00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:37,359
Take it, then.
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00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,799
Thanks, Paddy.
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00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,639
You're welcome.
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So... You're a grown man now, Philip.
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00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,599
You've come of age.
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00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,599
And with that comes responsibility.
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00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:56,319
A knuckle duster.
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00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,759
Shane, Micky...
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00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,759
Come on, then... Bring the box.
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00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,119
What the fuck you doing?
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00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,999
A little birthday treat. Our way
of saying welcome to the clan. No!
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00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,759
Go on! Give him one!
You're joking! I'm not hitting some random bloke!
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00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,319
He owes us money, don't you? What?
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00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,519
Which means he owes you, Philip.
You what?
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00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,519
I haven't exactly noticed you turning
into Rockafella lately.
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00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:34,519
And if you're gonna swan about,
sponging off me, there's some jobs I want doing.
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00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,599
Right.
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00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,719
Give her to me! Eh?
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00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,039
She's my daughter.
I'll support her. Her and Mandy.
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And I don't need help from you,
Paddy!
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Fine. Not another penny from us.
See how long you last.
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00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,999
A lifetime.
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00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,519
Mandy?
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00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,999
I'm with Lip, Dad.
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Leave it.
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00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:08,359
There's more than one
way to skin a cunt.
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00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,599
I was just saying, Patrick.
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00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:14,599
Hasn't little Katie
got Frank's eyes?
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00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:25,039
What's going on? Don't know.
80
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:36,119
Nothing to see here. Just some drunk
who set fire to his dinner.
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00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,119
Is he...? He's our dad.
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00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,119
He'll be fine.
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00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,399
Live another day to waste our time.
84
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,399
You might wanna give him this.
85
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:55,719
Come on, Liam.
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00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,519
Just through here, Mrs Gallagher.
87
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,999
We've given him some fluids,
pumped his stomach.
88
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,199
And a rabies jab for the dog bites.
89
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,199
Quite a night he's had.
90
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,799
Oi!
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Open the fucking door!
92
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,839
Kev, Kev! Veronica!
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00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,079
There's no answer.
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00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,799
They're still not back, Yvonne and
there's 12 bottles of milk there.
95
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,759
Where the hell are they?
Booze run don't take this long.
96
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,079
Look, I've told you!
I don't know where they are!
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00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,359
Ow!
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00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,519
All Marty said
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00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,879
was they were going abroad and that
they were sharing the driving.
100
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,679
Well, I lent 'em 200 quid.
And now I find out they've
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00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,119
had 20 off of Lillian an all.
102
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,239
And 500 off Jess.
103
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,119
Oh, God, if they've done a runner,
I'll have to move!
104
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,119
They haven't done a runner!
105
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,959
Look, if Kev and Veronica were doing
a moonlight flit,
106
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,159
they wouldn't take Marty with 'em,
would they?
107
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,199
they wouldn't take Marty with 'em,
would they? No, see?! So they'll be back.
108
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,679
By...tonight, I think they said.
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00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,879
They promised me!
110
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,959
And they promised me
I'd have me money back last week.
111
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,999
Three biggest lies, eh?
Big is beautiful,
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00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,999
your cheque's in the post, and I
won't come in your fucking mouth.
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00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,559
God! Women, eh?
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00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,559
All is darkness without you till
you get a ring on their finger.
115
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,479
Then they can't stand by
you in your hour of need.
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00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,439
You set fire to your dinner, Frank!
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00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,839
Be thankful she's there
the rest of the time.
118
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,479
Oh! How silly of me
to think someone cares!
119
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,999
But the fact is, your mother
would rather do a Latticework
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00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,279
Pastries Of Denmark course
than save me from the flames.
121
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,879
You should be on the stage.
122
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,159
Same again please, Jess.
123
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:07,159
All right, love.
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00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,319
You're covered in sick!
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00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,079
Son, you're ugly,
but tomorrow I shall be clean!
126
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,599
Thanks, Jess!
127
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,959
So what did you get him then, Frank?
BMW?
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00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,679
What I give my kiddies,
money can't buy.
129
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,719
That's handy.
130
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,639
Oh, right... '89!
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00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,519
CD from the year you were born.
Shall we put it on?
132
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,719
Yeah, why not? Cheers, Jess.
133
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,919
We nearly lost you in the womb,
Phillip.
134
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,919
Yeah - Monica nigh on miscarried
when Margaret fuck you up the arse
135
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,279
Thatcher fucked us up the arse
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00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,559
by getting in for an "historic
third term".
137
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:51,159
Thank fuck ecstasy turned up.
138
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,159
Happy Mondays indeed!
139
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,159
That's not right, Frank.
140
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,639
She couldn't have been pregnant
at election time. That were '87.
141
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,199
Look, Lillian, love,
do you not think...?
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00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,759
11th of June 1987.
143
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,439
That were my Brendan's 40th,
144
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,159
but we had to cancel the party,
we were depressed.
145
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:11,159
So we went to Brighton instead,
great big hurricane, Brendan got
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hit with a flying beach hut.
Terrible year.
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00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,359
Oh, that's right!
Cos you were born in '88.
148
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,839
Cos we registered you a year after!
149
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,839
Cos we were going to do it, but...
150
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,799
But...?
151
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:33,799
We ended up in Ladbrokes! Big win!
152
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,879
Happy days.
153
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,639
Yeah, we went out, got wankered...
Think Monica left you on a bus.
154
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,239
So, you're saying I were
born in '88?
155
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,839
You having a fuckin' laugh?!
That means I'm 19!
156
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,599
18, 19... Whatever.
157
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,799
Whatever? That's my fucking life!
158
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,359
That means I went to school
a year late!
159
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,239
It means I were 18 a year ago...
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00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,239
Happy birthday for last year, then.
161
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:12,879
Mandy, Mandy...
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00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,119
He's coming, Debbie...
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00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,999
OK, quick then!
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00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,199
Happy birthday!
165
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,999
Ta-da! Sorry about the cake,
Sheila's one got melted in the fire.
166
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:25,879
Thanks to Dad.
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00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,079
Don't worry about it! It's great.
168
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,319
Mum!?
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00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,839
Happy birthday!
170
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:40,239
Well, I'm not gonna miss Lip's...
19th birthday, am I?
171
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,159
Happy birthday, darling.
172
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,799
Well, you missed Fiona's.
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You always miss 'em.
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00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,399
You never even send a card.
175
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,239
Yeah, well that was the past.
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I'm here now. So happy birthday!
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00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,999
Someone going to get us a drink?
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00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,799
Yeah, I'll go and get it now.
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00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,959
Thanks.
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00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,919
Er, Mum. This is Mandy.
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00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,399
Oh, all right, Mandy?
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Have you got him a present, then?
183
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,399
Oh, yeah - I've got you all presents.
184
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:11,399
This is for Debbie
and this is for Carl...
185
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,799
Oh, yeah, and this is for Liam...
186
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,159
Where's Norma?
187
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,639
Well, I'm not gonna
bring Norma, am I?!
188
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,479
Well, you usually do.
She is your girlfriend.
189
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,479
We're not joined at the hip, Debbie.
Go on then! Open your prezzies.
190
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,439
Here, Mum.
191
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,439
Oh, ta, love.
192
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,079
You can cut the act now, Mum.
193
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,959
Norma's thrown you out, hasn't she?
194
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,559
No.
195
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:59,679
Oh, yeah?
Then why is all your stuff outside?
196
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,519
You've not come back for
Lip's birthday at all!
197
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:06,519
Not just that, no, Debbie,
but Norma hasn't thrown me out.
198
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,639
I've left her.
199
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,359
I've come back. To be with my babies.
200
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,359
For good.
201
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,639
Debbie, we can't kick her out.
It's still technically her house.
202
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:27,159
She can't just come back
whenever she feels like it.
203
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,799
She hasn't even said sorry.
204
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,559
Well, I'm glad she's back.
205
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:34,559
She'll just take over and she won't
pay her own way. Will you just tell her that it's not a hotel?
206
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,799
I can't, Debs. Look, you're
just gonna have to ignore her.
207
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,679
Hopefully she'll fuck off soon.
208
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:45,679
I'm not going to deny Katie
a grandma. I'm sorry.
209
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,799
Wicked!
210
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:56,159
Wicked!
Fuck!
211
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,959
Wicked!
Fuck! Shit!
212
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,759
Oops.
213
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,719
Oh, no! Oh!
214
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,719
What you doing, Debs?!
215
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,359
Oh, my god, no!
216
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:18,359
Quick, you lot, come
and have a look at this!Lip!
217
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:24,199
On the telly! Look!
218
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,199
Good evening. Kevin and Veronica
Ball from Manchester were arrested in Bucharest yesterday
219
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,159
after trying to buy a baby
from a Romanian orphanage.
220
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:33,919
Shit!
221
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,879
Veronica!
222
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,839
Stephanie Williams is
with the Foreign Office official
223
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,279
outside court in Bucharest
who is awaiting the couple's arrival.
224
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:46,279
Can you tell us the situation
regarding the English couple today?
225
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,439
We at the Foreign Office are doing
everything in our power to get the two British nationals extradited,
226
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,079
and we believe there's
every hope of success.
227
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,919
Get off me!
228
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,919
Get off me!
229
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,999
Oof!
230
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,039
Come on, V!
231
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,759
Cool!
232
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,359
She didn't mean that!
233
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:11,359
Hey, we're innocent! Get off her!
234
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:16,479
On the other hand, I think
they could be looking at six years.
235
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,159
He's my son, he's my son!
236
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,039
We paid good money for him!
237
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,399
Fucking hell, Kev!
238
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,839
Looks like the end of my money, then.
239
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,839
Hey, neither a lender
nor borrower be, Jez.
240
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,559
Is there any chance of getting
another drink?
241
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:37,559
Oh, my god. I don't believe it.
Me own daughter, a criminal!
242
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,639
Sue, did you know owt about this?
243
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,639
They made me promise not to say.
244
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,359
Oh, God, what've they done?!
245
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,319
And these are your neighbours?
246
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:56,719
What now?!
247
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,599
What the...?! What d'you think you're
doing? This is my daughter's house!
248
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,719
Bit slow off the mark, aren't you?
249
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,519
You wanna get yourself Sky News.
250
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,919
We heard about this house going
at six o'clock this morning.
251
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:12,959
We heard about this house going
at six o'clock this morning. You what?
252
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,159
Eh, you should be made up.
253
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:19,039
Council could've had
any riffraff in here, eh, Paddy?
254
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,439
What?! You can't do this!
255
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,719
This is Kev and Veronica's stuff!
256
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,119
This is Kev and Veronica's stuff!
Well, they're in fucking jail, darling!
257
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,319
Look, Paddy, you can't just
start taking over the place.
258
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,559
Look, Paddy, you can't just
start taking over the place. You tell him, Lip!
259
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,719
Who's gonna stop me,
Mr Tough Guy? You?
260
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,959
I'm Monica, Lip's mum.
261
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,959
Cos the thing is, when my wee Mandy
gets sick and tired of being cramped in there with you lot,
262
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,479
she's got somewhere else to go.
263
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,479
Handy, Katie's grandparents being
right next door, isn't it?
264
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,279
Blinding bit of luck.
265
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,319
Oh, so that's what
all this is about!
266
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,959
You just wanna be here,
breathing down our necks.
267
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,439
Watching as you fail.
268
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,599
Looking after our own.
269
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:59,359
Oh, the leopard coat, where is it?
270
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,799
I haven't thrown that out yet.
271
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,279
Oh, well, it wouldn't
fit you, would it?
272
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,119
Oh, well, you can wear it, then.
273
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:09,119
On yer face.
274
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,639
You're never out the bog these days.
275
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,599
Yeah, well, they said thyroid
can make you go a bit.
276
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,799
Come on, Jez, you're about to pop.
I'm not that thick.
277
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,239
Right, not a word to anyone
or you're dead meat.
278
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,279
And how long do you think
you can keep that a secret for?
279
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,559
I've managed for seven months.
280
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,159
Couple of tents upstairs.
281
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,999
So, you let a bloke...?
282
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,559
So, you let a bloke...?
Did I fuck!
283
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,559
The only thing got spunked was
a huge wad of cash. They're a nice couple, can't have their own.
284
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,999
Earn while I earn. Good bracket,
this surrogacy business.
285
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,999
Eh, top tip - free dental care.
286
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,799
Might get me bridge done.
287
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,799
You should start with your brain!
288
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,239
Two more.
289
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,439
Nearly.
290
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:00,479
What are you doing, you soft thing?!
291
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,479
What are you doing, you soft thing?!
Ssh, come on, come on.
292
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,879
Nearly there, nearly there.
293
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,879
Forward, forward, forward,
forward, forward, stop.
294
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:21,039
One more step. There we go.
295
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,479
Ta-da!
296
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,359
Oh, Paddy!
297
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:30,359
I don't believe it!
298
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,959
I thought we'd celebrate
our new home in style.
299
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:49,079
You, you would not keep
your clothes on.
300
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:53,079
Straight on the floor
and then slapping your nappies up against the wall.
301
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,999
What was I like?
302
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,399
You were no trouble.
No, Liam was the difficult one.
303
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:03,399
Had terrible postnatal
depression, and...
304
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,159
Well, your dad was no help.
Just took all me pills.
305
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,519
Left me in total misery.
306
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,799
Debs, I'm hungry.
307
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,639
Get Mum to make you some breakfast.
308
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,639
It's no problem. Have to be veggie,
though, cos I don't touch meat.
309
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,079
I don't mind.
310
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,399
Let's see what we've got.
311
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,559
Morning, Mandy, Lip. Cup of tea?
312
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,359
Yeah. Thanks.
313
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:28,359
Pass me the sick bucket.
314
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,879
I heard that, Debbie.
315
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,479
Good.
316
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,679
She's right though, Mum.
We deserve an explanation.
317
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,239
Why are you back?
318
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,239
I know this is going to
take a little bit of time to work through...
319
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,199
You've had six years.
320
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,399
And four months.
321
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:51,319
Look, this has been very difficult
for me. Very traumatic.
322
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,319
It's been torture for me,
having to leave you lot and then moving to Moston
323
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,599
and rattling around inside
that great big house when I was used to kids and mess and noise and...
324
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,559
Anyway, if you love someone,
you forgive them, don't you?
325
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,759
It's all right, Debbie. I know it
might take you a little bit longer.
326
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:30,639
Do you want to go shopping?
327
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:44,719
Hello?
328
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,719
And how is my little
princess this morning?
329
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,919
All the better for seeing you.
330
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,159
Now then, what do you think
to a full-mirrored ceiling?
331
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:09,919
Fabulous. As long as you're on top.
332
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:15,639
Put your tea down!
333
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:24,359
What the fuck do you want?
You're supposed to be on a job.
334
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:28,559
Breakfast.
335
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:37,279
♪ Don't you wish your girlfriend
was hot like me? ♪
336
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,399
Couldn't we just kill her?
That'd get rid of her.
337
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,399
Yeah, lead pipe, rope
or candlestick? Keep an eye out.
338
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,359
Debbie?
339
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:20,359
What are you doing?
340
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,919
Well, for your information,
Debbie, Norma isn't at home.
341
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,839
She's actually driving
a lorry to Germany.
342
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,319
And she doesn't have a mobile.
343
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:35,319
Thinks they make you infertile!
344
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:37,999
Now listen, love.
345
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,999
I know you've been a bit funny
with me, but really we do have to learn to get along.
346
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,999
How did Norma take it? You leaving?
347
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,199
Naturally she was very upset,
but she's had to learn to accept it.
348
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,279
What were you rowing about?
349
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:58,279
Everything.
She's always going on...
350
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,999
Actually, Debbie, I don't really want
to get into it. It's very painful, having to leave somebody.
351
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:08,279
Just be thankful
that you're too young to know.
352
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,999
Right, I think
I'd better ring a plumber.
353
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,519
Good to see you made it
to Lip's party, then.
354
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,519
Last night. Mum managed.
355
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,559
Fuck off!
356
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,479
Here for good, apparently.
357
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:34,479
She's come home.
358
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,199
Monica?
359
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:40,879
Back here?
360
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,159
Ah, you can show her
your wedding photos, Frank.
361
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:48,159
Cos what I've heard off Kev,
she'd be very interested in those, seeing she's still married to you.
362
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,839
Yeah, yeah, all right,
just get us another pint and a couple of these, Jez.
363
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,959
This had better be
a quick one before shopping.
364
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,599
Debbie, Debbie.
365
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,999
What the fuck does your mother want?
366
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,599
I don't know.
But she's up to summat. Jez?
367
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,599
Any chance I can use your CB radio?
368
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:20,079
This is Jockey Bird calling
Big Beaver, do you copy?
369
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,119
Hey, hey, Jockey Bird. Long time!
370
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,599
Speak up, me ballet dancer's
broken. Over.
371
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,719
Some buddy boy blow
your doors off, did he?
372
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,399
Hah, hah!
373
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,439
Hah, hah!
Jez!
374
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:35,239
Big Beaver, I've got
an ankle biter here that wants a yapper in your big hole...
375
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,919
Norma, it's Debbie.
376
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,679
Hey. No first-personal, breaker.
377
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,479
They're reading all my mail here.
378
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,839
Mum's back.
She said she's staying.
379
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,119
Did you throw her out?
380
00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:47,399
Over.
381
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,199
Did I fuck!
382
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,319
She's gone nowhere,
you cheeky little...
383
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:55,319
Hey, you're making this up.
My Mon's at the base station where I left her. Ten-four.
384
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,239
T-That's a negative, Big Beaver.
385
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,679
Ankle Biter's straight up.
386
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,679
Your good buddy Beaver's
returned to the Village of the Damned and Alligator Radio.
387
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,159
I think she needs you
to fight for her, Norma.
388
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,559
I'll put some motion lotion
in me pickle park
389
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,799
and stand on the hammer
of my triple digit ride for the fastest ever flip flop.
390
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,519
Out.
391
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:23,519
She's coming home.
392
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,959
Hey, what you doing,
you cheeky bastard?!
393
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:27,999
Hey, what you doing,
you cheeky bastard?! What?!
394
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,999
Mum, two o'clock.
395
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,919
Have you seen your dad?
396
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:38,559
Why do you want him?
397
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,519
Don't matter. It'll keep.
398
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:44,519
He'll be in soon enough. We'll just
have to wait here, won't we, Katie?
399
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,519
What are you having?
400
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,839
Erm, I'll have a juice. Pineapple.
401
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,319
With vodka in it, thanks.
402
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:51,719
Double?
403
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,719
Yeah, why not?
404
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,159
Ooh, look at you!
405
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,599
It's nice.
406
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,279
Yeah. But we need to talk.
407
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,279
What's all this about, eh?
408
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,279
Unless you've been and robbed
a bank, there's no way we can afford this.
409
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,919
No, you're right, we can't.
410
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,919
It's always been my fantasy
to shag a man in a suit.
411
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,039
Happy birthday!
412
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:29,039
Thanks.
413
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,559
Sue! Sue!
414
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,279
Can you fuck off
downstairs for an hour?
415
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,079
15 minute is enough.
416
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,439
Who's he?!
417
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,639
Plumber. Oh, I need
some comfort, Sue.
418
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,199
My daughter's in prison.
I'm a broken woman.
419
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:52,199
You think sharing a room
with Tutankhamun Does Deep Throat is making my day?
420
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,679
Why not you stay, too?
421
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,679
Ugh!
422
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,999
Is this where you keep
your little stopcock?
423
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,399
Up your arse!
424
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,999
Marty! Oh, Marty! Thank God!
425
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,999
I've got something for you.
426
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:33,499
Kev set it up on the Internet.
427
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:36,339
So, we drove over, but as soon
as we handed the money to
428
00:27:36,340 --> 00:27:38,419
the orphanage owner, we got raided.
429
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:40,579
Shit.
430
00:27:40,580 --> 00:27:44,219
Veronica grabbed the baby and
stuffed him in the car with me,
431
00:27:44,220 --> 00:27:48,219
but the cops grabbed 'em. Veronica
was yelling, "drive, fuck off!
432
00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:52,059
"Fucking drive", so I did!
I drove off and left 'em.
433
00:27:52,060 --> 00:27:54,059
Fucking turncoat!
434
00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:56,819
You would've been
nicked if you hadn't.
435
00:27:56,820 --> 00:27:58,259
I didn't know what to do.
436
00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:02,259
I was too scared to drive the car
back so I hitched.
437
00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:07,499
Fuck it!
438
00:28:09,580 --> 00:28:12,379
Stolen baby!
439
00:28:19,700 --> 00:28:22,779
Fuck it!
440
00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:29,739
When did you last sleep, Marty?
441
00:28:29,740 --> 00:28:31,579
Dunno.
442
00:28:31,580 --> 00:28:33,699
Why won't he stop crying?
443
00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:35,779
I haven't hurt him, have I?
444
00:28:35,780 --> 00:28:37,499
So what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna keep it?
445
00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,259
Course not.I want to.
446
00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:42,819
Debbie?
447
00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:45,219
What's going on with
all that crying?!
448
00:28:45,220 --> 00:28:49,099
It's Katie. She doesn't like
having strangers in the house.
449
00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,579
I am not a stranger, Debbie.
450
00:28:51,580 --> 00:28:55,579
And I do not appreciate you putting
my cashmere jumper on a boil wash!
451
00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:58,859
Is that not what it goes on?
452
00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:02,859
I don't know how much longer I
can put up with this, Debbie.
453
00:29:04,940 --> 00:29:06,499
He's stopped crying.
454
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,019
He likes you.
455
00:29:08,020 --> 00:29:09,299
No, he doesn't!
456
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:12,539
Yeah, he does! Look.
457
00:29:12,540 --> 00:29:14,259
See?
458
00:29:14,260 --> 00:29:15,579
He wants you to be his mum.
459
00:29:15,580 --> 00:29:19,579
Marty! You're being insane!
460
00:29:40,060 --> 00:29:41,979
All right, Frank?
461
00:29:41,980 --> 00:29:45,459
Monica!
462
00:29:45,460 --> 00:29:49,459
We've got some catching up to do.
463
00:29:51,780 --> 00:29:53,619
Who'd have thought it eh, Frank?
464
00:29:53,620 --> 00:29:57,259
Little Lip, 19,
you and me grandparents.
465
00:29:57,260 --> 00:30:00,259
We don't seem old enough, do we?
466
00:30:00,260 --> 00:30:02,259
He's had it easy, though, in't he?
467
00:30:02,260 --> 00:30:05,459
I mean kids these days,
they don't know they're born.
468
00:30:05,460 --> 00:30:07,939
When I was Lip's age, I'd done time,
got crabs,
469
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:10,539
knocked up six girls,
fought off bailiffs.
470
00:30:10,540 --> 00:30:13,779
Not many kids these days
can say that, can they?
471
00:30:13,780 --> 00:30:16,099
Remember when we met, Frank?
472
00:30:16,100 --> 00:30:18,619
1979, Ripper year.
473
00:30:18,620 --> 00:30:21,339
They had you in four times.
474
00:30:21,340 --> 00:30:23,379
They had you in four times.
God, like it was yesterday.
475
00:30:23,380 --> 00:30:26,339
Thought you'd stood me up,
thought you weren't interested.
476
00:30:26,340 --> 00:30:28,539
Me? No, course I was!
477
00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:31,859
Then I proposed to you.
Outside Aytoun dole office.
478
00:30:31,860 --> 00:30:33,899
Thought I was up the duff.
479
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:37,899
Never thought you'd say yes,
but you did.
480
00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:41,179
And we got married.
481
00:30:41,180 --> 00:30:43,579
So, have the kids said
anything to you about,
482
00:30:43,580 --> 00:30:46,419
you know, eh, Sheila and me?
483
00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:47,699
Sheila?
484
00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:51,539
Yeah. What sort of thing?
485
00:30:51,540 --> 00:30:53,779
I do!
486
00:30:53,780 --> 00:30:56,659
I never got the divorce through
from Monica in the end,
487
00:30:56,660 --> 00:30:58,419
so it's not legal anyway.
488
00:30:58,420 --> 00:31:00,499
Anyway, I better go
489
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:04,459
and get the twins from Debbie.
Don't want to take advantage.
490
00:31:04,460 --> 00:31:06,979
Actually, Frank,
I think I'll come with you.
491
00:31:06,980 --> 00:31:09,339
I'd like to see where
you live properly.
492
00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:11,419
Yeah, but the thing is,
493
00:31:11,420 --> 00:31:15,419
you know, it's, you know, Sheila,
me girlfriend, she'll probably...
494
00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:19,619
Yeah, but she's away doing a cookery
course, isn't she? Kids told me.
495
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:23,699
Well, yeah, but she just probably
wouldn't in, in effect, but she...
496
00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:26,259
Come on.See ya.
497
00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:27,979
Sue, please?
498
00:31:27,980 --> 00:31:29,979
We'd be a proper family.
499
00:31:29,980 --> 00:31:31,779
I don't know what that is, Marty!
500
00:31:31,780 --> 00:31:33,659
We don't know anything
about looking after a baby!
501
00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:35,499
But we could learn.
502
00:31:35,500 --> 00:31:39,499
And then there's the police,
social services.
503
00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:42,259
Look, Kev and Veronica bought him.
504
00:31:42,260 --> 00:31:44,579
Someone else would.
You could sell him.
505
00:31:44,580 --> 00:31:47,419
What, on eBay?
506
00:31:47,420 --> 00:31:51,379
All right, leave him at maternity!
They'll take care of him.
507
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:55,339
You've got my number, Pawel.
508
00:31:55,340 --> 00:31:57,379
Ooh, what a man!
509
00:31:57,380 --> 00:31:59,459
Big hands, he had, did you see?
510
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:02,699
Saucy bugger!
511
00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:04,379
Oh, my God, Marty!
512
00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:07,659
Oh, thank the Good Lord!
513
00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:09,619
I've been beside meself!
514
00:32:09,620 --> 00:32:12,779
You've no idea what you've put me...
515
00:32:12,780 --> 00:32:14,699
Tell me you didn't bring that back.
516
00:32:14,700 --> 00:32:17,419
Yeah, I have. Your grandson.
517
00:32:17,420 --> 00:32:19,579
He's no grandson of mine!
518
00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:21,939
People'll think I have
foreign blood in me!
519
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,619
You didn't seem to mind last night.
520
00:32:23,620 --> 00:32:25,659
He's from Basingstoke!
521
00:32:25,660 --> 00:32:28,339
Mum, I want to keep him.
You'll help me, won't you?
522
00:32:28,340 --> 00:32:31,219
Marty Fisher, you
can't even keep a job!
523
00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:33,139
And she's no better!
524
00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:34,459
I'm not getting involved.
525
00:32:34,460 --> 00:32:38,459
She's right. I'm sorry, Marty,but
for once, me and your mum agree.
526
00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:42,459
Sorry, Billy.
527
00:32:44,540 --> 00:32:48,539
Oh, Norma!
528
00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:55,819
Someone to see you, Mum.
529
00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:57,539
Norma.
530
00:32:57,540 --> 00:33:00,019
Oh, well I'll...
531
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:03,459
What d'you think you're doing?
What's all this about leaving me?
532
00:33:03,460 --> 00:33:05,419
What d'you think you're doing?
What's all this about leaving me? Deb, twins.
533
00:33:05,420 --> 00:33:06,659
What're you doin' here?
534
00:33:06,660 --> 00:33:07,779
Debbie got us on the CB.
Obviously confused...
535
00:33:07,780 --> 00:33:10,539
Debbie got us on the CB.
Obviously confused... I told you not to interfere!
536
00:33:10,540 --> 00:33:12,219
Well, it's good job she did!
537
00:33:12,220 --> 00:33:15,939
You've lost your bloody marbles,
you have!
538
00:33:15,940 --> 00:33:18,779
Hey, hey, is this about that
lazy-eyed shelf stacker?
539
00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:19,979
You what?
540
00:33:19,980 --> 00:33:22,019
The one you was flirting with
in Iceland.
541
00:33:22,020 --> 00:33:25,499
She was helping me reach
the raspberry ripple!
542
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,459
Which is more than you were doing!
543
00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:29,899
I've told you, that crap is full of
e numbers.
544
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:32,339
I don't care! I wanted it!
545
00:33:32,340 --> 00:33:34,179
I'm not a child, Norma!
546
00:33:34,180 --> 00:33:36,619
I can decide for meself what I want!
547
00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:40,619
All right, all right, we'll get
you a fucking raspberry ripple!
548
00:33:40,660 --> 00:33:44,419
And all the other shite you've been
banging on about. Don't blame me
549
00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:47,259
when you get polycystic ovaries.
550
00:33:47,260 --> 00:33:51,259
Right, now get your bag,
you daft bint and hurry home.
551
00:33:51,940 --> 00:33:55,939
I'm not coming home, Norma.
552
00:33:55,940 --> 00:33:58,539
I'm staying with me family.
553
00:33:58,540 --> 00:33:59,819
What?
554
00:33:59,820 --> 00:34:03,819
I meant it.
God's spoken to me, sort of.
555
00:34:04,220 --> 00:34:06,099
I've had an epiphany.
556
00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:07,179
Ugh!
557
00:34:07,180 --> 00:34:10,539
Ugh!
No, Norma, don't listen! She'll get you whatever you want.
558
00:34:10,540 --> 00:34:11,819
Won't you, Norma?
559
00:34:11,820 --> 00:34:15,819
You can't stay here anyway! It's too
cramped and we don't want you here!
560
00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:20,019
Oh, that's right! Hate me!
561
00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:22,779
Punish me forever
for one fucking mistake!
562
00:34:22,780 --> 00:34:26,779
I'm such a bad mother, aren't I?!
Such a bad fucking person!
563
00:34:27,220 --> 00:34:29,099
Hey. It's all right. Calm down.
564
00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:31,539
How can I, when she hates me!
565
00:34:31,540 --> 00:34:34,899
And she runs circles round
me, so I can't think straight.
566
00:34:34,900 --> 00:34:36,779
She doesn't hate you, Mum.
567
00:34:36,780 --> 00:34:38,179
None of us do.
568
00:34:38,180 --> 00:34:40,619
I don't understand
what this is about?!
569
00:34:40,620 --> 00:34:43,619
Which one of you did this?!
I'll fucking have you!
570
00:34:43,620 --> 00:34:46,019
Oh, for Christ's sake, Norma!
571
00:34:46,020 --> 00:34:50,019
Nothing I do is ever good enough!
572
00:34:50,860 --> 00:34:53,019
And it's so hard,
573
00:34:53,020 --> 00:34:56,379
being gay.
574
00:34:56,380 --> 00:35:00,379
You don't know how hard it is, Ian.
575
00:35:12,980 --> 00:35:16,979
It's the right thing to do, Marty.
576
00:35:21,220 --> 00:35:25,219
On the way home, he kept shaking.
577
00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:29,499
They all do it in the orphanage.
578
00:35:30,340 --> 00:35:34,339
It's what they do when
they've never had any love.
579
00:35:37,140 --> 00:35:39,659
Euh!
580
00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:42,539
Leaky tit!
581
00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:44,339
Open up in there, it's the police!
582
00:35:44,340 --> 00:35:46,619
Oh, I'm not parked on
a double yellow, am I?
583
00:35:46,620 --> 00:35:49,619
We're looking for Marty Fisher!
584
00:35:49,620 --> 00:35:53,619
Come on, you tit!
585
00:35:55,940 --> 00:35:58,019
Stan, what can we do for you?
586
00:35:58,020 --> 00:35:59,579
PC Waterman to you,
and don't you forget it.
587
00:35:59,580 --> 00:36:01,499
PC Waterman to you,
and don't you forget it. You what?
588
00:36:01,500 --> 00:36:04,059
PC Waterman.
And this is my new PC, Tom O'Leary.
589
00:36:04,060 --> 00:36:06,499
Well, where is he then?
590
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:09,779
Oh, I've not seen either of 'em for
weeks, Stan, I'm out of me mind!
591
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:11,899
Well we've been tipped off that
he's here with a stolen baby, so...
592
00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:13,139
What?
593
00:36:13,140 --> 00:36:15,499
We've had a call from Monica?
Where's Monica?!
594
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:17,739
No, Stan!
595
00:36:17,740 --> 00:36:21,739
Sorry, PC Waterman.
Not without a warrant.
596
00:36:21,900 --> 00:36:24,499
Stay here. I'm going to get one.
597
00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:28,499
Off the premises, if you don't mind.
598
00:36:34,540 --> 00:36:37,539
You fucking tipped off the police!
599
00:36:37,540 --> 00:36:40,579
What are you talking about?
600
00:36:40,580 --> 00:36:44,419
I didn't even know
there was a baby here!
601
00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:47,499
Debbie? Tell me you didn't?
602
00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:51,179
No, she wouldn't, would you, Debs?
603
00:36:51,180 --> 00:36:54,419
I thought...
if I pretended to be her...
604
00:36:54,420 --> 00:36:57,419
What the fuck are you playing at?
How could you do that?!
605
00:36:57,420 --> 00:37:01,419
Why do you think?! Because she
is a bitch that abandoned us,
606
00:37:01,660 --> 00:37:04,259
but you don't seem to care
about that!
607
00:37:04,260 --> 00:37:08,259
She's going to do it again!
608
00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:12,899
I thought, if you thought it was
her then you might make her leave!
609
00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:19,299
Well, don't look at me,
it's not my fault!
610
00:37:19,300 --> 00:37:22,219
Marty, you'll have to get out of
here. Take him to maternity.
611
00:37:22,220 --> 00:37:26,219
I'll meet you later. Debbie?
612
00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:30,739
Debbie...
613
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,019
I'm sorry, Marty!
614
00:37:33,020 --> 00:37:37,019
You're my friend and I've
done something horrible!
615
00:37:38,780 --> 00:37:42,779
It's OK, it's OK.
616
00:37:44,780 --> 00:37:46,339
I know you didn't mean it.
617
00:37:46,340 --> 00:37:50,339
Fucking bitch!
618
00:37:50,380 --> 00:37:52,619
It'll be all right.
619
00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:56,619
Marty,
you're gonna have to go, mate.
620
00:37:57,940 --> 00:38:01,939
It'll be all right.
621
00:38:02,740 --> 00:38:04,819
Marty?
622
00:38:04,820 --> 00:38:07,459
Don't abandon him.
623
00:38:07,460 --> 00:38:10,099
Please.
624
00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:14,099
Marty, come on!
Stan'll be back any minute.
625
00:38:19,460 --> 00:38:21,939
Oh, my children!
626
00:38:21,940 --> 00:38:24,939
Why is God punishing me?!
627
00:38:24,940 --> 00:38:28,939
It's all right, Carol. We're not
gonna throw you out just cos the rest of your family's gone.
628
00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:39,339
See you later.
629
00:38:39,340 --> 00:38:42,059
Ha! Gotcha! Don't need a
warrant out here, do I?!
630
00:38:42,060 --> 00:38:43,099
Sue! Marty!
631
00:38:43,100 --> 00:38:44,099
Sue!
632
00:38:49,180 --> 00:38:50,819
Romanian coppers are on their way.
633
00:38:50,820 --> 00:38:54,819
But it's not the baby they want!
Pants on fire!
634
00:38:55,300 --> 00:38:59,299
Oh, for Pete's sake! Is there not
a WPC in here anywhere?
635
00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:02,339
Who are you?
636
00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:04,939
I'm the baby's mother.
Can I have him please, Stan?
637
00:39:04,940 --> 00:39:05,459
What you talking about?!
638
00:39:05,460 --> 00:39:07,099
PC Waterman!
639
00:39:07,100 --> 00:39:10,099
Yeah, PC...
But you haven't got a baby, Sue!
640
00:39:10,100 --> 00:39:12,299
What's this then, blow-up monkey?
641
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:16,019
Hello. Aw, come here... He's hungry.
642
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:17,699
He wants his mummy...
643
00:39:17,700 --> 00:39:21,299
Is she lying?
She's lying, isn't she?
644
00:39:21,300 --> 00:39:25,299
If that's your baby,
then where's its birth certificate?
645
00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:27,379
Here.
646
00:39:27,380 --> 00:39:31,299
Oh... sorry.
647
00:39:31,300 --> 00:39:34,139
You don't think I'd do this
if he wasn't mine, do you?
648
00:39:34,140 --> 00:39:35,459
Suck a tit!
649
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:36,659
Now look, Sue.
We know that baby's stolen so.
650
00:39:36,660 --> 00:39:38,419
No, he's not!
651
00:39:38,420 --> 00:39:42,419
And even if he was, he's an orphan,
so you can't send him back to...
652
00:39:43,340 --> 00:39:44,979
I didn't know he was an orphan!
653
00:39:44,980 --> 00:39:45,499
That's not the point, PC O'Leary!
654
00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:48,379
But it is.
655
00:39:48,380 --> 00:39:51,019
I know what that's like.
656
00:39:51,020 --> 00:39:54,739
I never even knew me mam and dad!
It's fucking awful!
657
00:39:54,740 --> 00:39:58,419
We can't send him back!
658
00:39:58,420 --> 00:39:59,699
Please Stan?
659
00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:03,699
Piss in your tea!
660
00:40:10,020 --> 00:40:14,019
Save the baby?
661
00:40:15,020 --> 00:40:19,019
Well, it looks like we must've
made a terrible mistake then.
662
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,059
So are we really
gonna keep him, then?!
663
00:40:34,060 --> 00:40:37,339
We have to do it properly though
Marty. I'm not living with your mum.
664
00:40:37,340 --> 00:40:37,899
Slag.
665
00:40:37,900 --> 00:40:41,099
And we need the proper stuff.
I'm not slumming it.
666
00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:44,099
We'll need a three-wheel baby buggy,
proper car seat...
667
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:45,819
We have to get a car first!
668
00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:48,539
A nice one. And I was thinking maybe
then we could adopt another one.
669
00:40:48,540 --> 00:40:49,139
Hey?
670
00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:51,139
Well, child benefit's 70 a month,
671
00:40:51,140 --> 00:40:52,499
per child. Oooh!
672
00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:54,059
What's the matter?
673
00:40:54,060 --> 00:40:56,539
Nothing, just a bit of
morning sickness, I think.
674
00:40:56,540 --> 00:41:03,659
So, if we had four, that would be
280. If we had six, that would 670.
675
00:41:03,660 --> 00:41:04,179
Say what you said before?
676
00:41:04,180 --> 00:41:05,459
Morning sickness.
677
00:41:05,460 --> 00:41:06,979
Does that mean me spunk works?!
678
00:41:08,420 --> 00:41:09,459
I don't believe it!
679
00:41:09,460 --> 00:41:13,459
Marty!
680
00:41:15,100 --> 00:41:17,339
What you doing with her?! Get out!
681
00:41:17,340 --> 00:41:20,659
She's just brought her back, Lip.
She had her for the afternoon.
682
00:41:20,660 --> 00:41:23,739
She's my granddaughter.
You can't stop me from seeing her,
683
00:41:23,740 --> 00:41:25,499
it'd break me heart!
I'm begging you...
684
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:28,139
It's not her fault you had
a row with Paddy, is it?
685
00:41:28,140 --> 00:41:29,939
Don't punish her for it.
686
00:41:29,940 --> 00:41:32,579
Three visits a week.
That's all I want.
687
00:41:32,580 --> 00:41:35,179
You don't interfere though.
688
00:41:35,180 --> 00:41:39,059
Hey, what's the matter?
689
00:41:39,060 --> 00:41:41,219
What the fuck is that?!
690
00:41:41,220 --> 00:41:43,019
Sweet, isn't it?
691
00:41:43,020 --> 00:41:44,539
Ahhh...
692
00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:53,499
I didn't tell her she could do it.
693
00:42:01,460 --> 00:42:05,459
Sorry about that
little interruption...
694
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:07,499
Ooh, dear!
695
00:42:07,500 --> 00:42:11,499
Oh, yeah. Just some kids. Threw
something through the letterbox. Cunts.
696
00:42:12,860 --> 00:42:15,819
No, they didn't.
You set fire to your dinner.
697
00:42:15,820 --> 00:42:17,179
No!
698
00:42:17,180 --> 00:42:18,859
They told me at the hospital.
699
00:42:18,860 --> 00:42:20,939
They couldn't get hold of your wife,
700
00:42:20,940 --> 00:42:22,819
Sheila Gallagher.
701
00:42:22,820 --> 00:42:25,979
So they had to get hold of your ex.
702
00:42:25,980 --> 00:42:27,859
How do you think that
made me feel,
703
00:42:27,860 --> 00:42:30,659
knowing that
I'm still married to you?
704
00:42:30,660 --> 00:42:31,979
I want you back Frank.
705
00:42:33,020 --> 00:42:34,859
That's why I'm here.
706
00:42:34,860 --> 00:42:36,379
I want my old life back.
707
00:42:36,380 --> 00:42:38,899
Let me just...
708
00:42:38,900 --> 00:42:40,979
Hello?
709
00:42:40,980 --> 00:42:43,459
'Hiya, love.'
710
00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:45,659
Oh, hiya, Sheila.
711
00:42:45,660 --> 00:42:47,019
'Is there something wrong?'
712
00:42:47,020 --> 00:42:48,819
What?
713
00:42:48,820 --> 00:42:50,339
'You don't sound yourself.'
714
00:42:50,340 --> 00:42:51,739
No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
715
00:42:51,740 --> 00:42:53,379
'Nothing's happened has it?'
716
00:42:53,380 --> 00:42:55,539
What round here.
Must be joking ain't you.
717
00:42:55,540 --> 00:42:56,939
Same old, same old, innit.
718
00:42:56,940 --> 00:42:57,979
'Guess what happened...'
719
00:42:57,980 --> 00:42:59,659
'Guess what happened...'
720
00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:00,979
What?
721
00:43:00,980 --> 00:43:01,499
What?
'Frank?'
722
00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:03,619
What?
'Frank?' No, no... what?
723
00:43:05,100 --> 00:43:06,499
'Is there someone there?'
724
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:10,379
No, no, it's just a...
no, it's just a soap on the telly.
725
00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:12,379
I dropped the phone.
726
00:43:12,380 --> 00:43:16,379
'Is it that time already?
My cinnamon swirls will be burnt.'
727
00:43:18,380 --> 00:43:22,099
Yeah, so, er...
so when is it that you coming back?
728
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:23,979
'Tomorrow, love.'
729
00:43:23,980 --> 00:43:25,139
Tomorrow.
730
00:43:25,140 --> 00:43:26,179
'It's Monday.'
731
00:43:26,180 --> 00:43:30,179
Is it?
732
00:43:33,020 --> 00:43:35,859
Look Debs,
733
00:43:35,860 --> 00:43:39,859
we want you to decide
if Mum stays or not.
734
00:43:40,940 --> 00:43:43,379
Just say the word.
735
00:43:43,380 --> 00:43:47,379
And she's gone.
736
00:43:53,620 --> 00:43:56,179
And you'll go?
737
00:43:56,180 --> 00:44:00,179
If I tell you to?
738
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:26,459
I need to get the dinner on.
739
00:44:48,260 --> 00:44:49,899
So you're off then, are you?
740
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:51,619
Am I fuck!
741
00:44:51,620 --> 00:44:55,299
You might have come over all Stepford
Wives, but I'm not falling for it.
742
00:44:55,300 --> 00:44:58,419
I'm stopping right here
till you come to your senses!
743
00:44:58,420 --> 00:45:02,419
Right where I can see you.
744
00:45:02,860 --> 00:45:06,859
Oh, squatters' rights,
European Rules!
745
00:45:17,740 --> 00:45:20,659
'Surprises come in lots of
different shapes and sizes.
746
00:45:20,660 --> 00:45:23,979
'There's the good ones like finding
out you've passed your maths exam
747
00:45:23,980 --> 00:45:27,379
'even though the calculator ran
out three seconds after you've
748
00:45:27,380 --> 00:45:31,059
'started the test and finding a pound
down the back of the sofa.
749
00:45:31,060 --> 00:45:35,059
'Then there's the bad ones
like being called to casualty cos your youngest brother's allergic
750
00:45:35,620 --> 00:45:38,779
'to the trifle you just made him.
Or discovering that the rash
751
00:45:38,780 --> 00:45:42,779
'you'd finally thought had gone
has come back double and it's not
752
00:45:43,780 --> 00:45:47,179
'going away no matter how hard
you scratch it. And realising
753
00:45:47,180 --> 00:45:49,699
'that it's not a rash it's an
infection or worse a melanoma.
754
00:45:49,700 --> 00:45:53,699
'You can try ignore it, but someday
soon it's gonna jump up and bite ya.'
755
00:46:40,180 --> 00:46:41,339
G'night, Carl.
756
00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:43,539
Good night, Mum.
757
00:46:43,540 --> 00:46:44,659
G'night, Ian.
758
00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:46,659
Goodnight, Mum.
759
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:51,159
G'night, Debbie.
760
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,919
G'night, Phillip.
761
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:58,159
He can't HEAR you,
he's in the next house!
762
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,279
G'night, Liam.
763
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:05,279
Will you lot shut the fuck up
and go to fucking sleep before I crown the lot of you!
764
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:10,280
www.addic7ed.com
765
00:47:10,330 --> 00:47:14,880
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