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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,234 --> 00:00:06,001 Okay, I'm ready for Vegas. 2 00:00:06,003 --> 00:00:07,802 Wait... hand sanitizer, 3 00:00:07,804 --> 00:00:09,471 Band-Aids, toilet seat covers. 4 00:00:09,473 --> 00:00:10,839 Yep, I'm ready. 5 00:00:12,347 --> 00:00:14,476 I'm proud of you, Lizzy, being all spontaneous 6 00:00:14,478 --> 00:00:16,420 and going to Vegas on two weeks' notice. 7 00:00:17,990 --> 00:00:19,714 So I'll miss Suze Orman's TED Talk. 8 00:00:19,716 --> 00:00:21,662 I'll catch the highlights on "Rachel Maddow." 9 00:00:22,853 --> 00:00:24,586 That's the gayest thing you've ever said. 10 00:00:25,855 --> 00:00:27,998 And that includes, "Luke, I'm gay." 11 00:00:29,787 --> 00:00:31,693 Viva Las Vegas, baby! 12 00:00:35,131 --> 00:00:37,165 Are you going to visit or to work? 13 00:00:39,368 --> 00:00:41,169 I actually did work in Vegas. 14 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,772 I was the top showcase girl at Sapphire, which means... 15 00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:45,607 Oh, I think I know what that means. 16 00:00:47,076 --> 00:00:49,230 That I sold the most sapphires. 17 00:00:49,232 --> 00:00:50,879 It was a jewelry store... 18 00:00:50,881 --> 00:00:52,287 inside a strip club. 19 00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:55,654 I knew we'd end up there. 20 00:00:56,153 --> 00:00:58,386 I love that we're going back to the place where it all began 21 00:00:58,388 --> 00:01:00,386 to celebrate our two-month anniversary. 22 00:01:00,388 --> 00:01:00,989 Aww. 23 00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:02,123 It's cute that you're celebrating 24 00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:03,425 your two-month anniversary. 25 00:01:03,427 --> 00:01:05,232 You and a bunch of seventh-graders. 26 00:01:06,482 --> 00:01:08,597 And I'm so glad you could come with us, Lizzy. 27 00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:10,732 What's more romantic than sharing a junior suite 28 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:13,368 with my new husband and the woman he got pregnant? 29 00:01:15,371 --> 00:01:17,606 Look at me. I got a lady on each arm, 30 00:01:17,608 --> 00:01:19,107 a suitcase full of Red Bull, 31 00:01:19,109 --> 00:01:21,376 and a two-for-one to "The Vagina Monologues." 32 00:01:22,745 --> 00:01:24,446 That's playing in Vegas? 33 00:01:24,943 --> 00:01:27,949 No, actually, it's "Rick's Vagina Monologues." 34 00:01:29,485 --> 00:01:31,386 He gets them to talk. 35 00:01:32,855 --> 00:01:35,521 Please tell me there's audience participation. 36 00:01:37,893 --> 00:01:39,628 37 00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:44,699 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 38 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,700 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 39 00:01:46,702 --> 00:01:47,998 So this is where you got married 40 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,232 and perhaps contracted 41 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,131 one or more of the "hepatie-tie." 42 00:01:52,042 --> 00:01:54,276 It is, but it didn't look like this. 43 00:01:54,278 --> 00:01:56,732 I mean, it didn't look much better than this. 44 00:01:57,615 --> 00:01:58,879 Well, the good news is, 45 00:01:58,881 --> 00:02:00,916 I am no longer sad that I missed your wedding. 46 00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:03,600 Excuse me, sir... 47 00:02:04,178 --> 00:02:05,795 Ma'am. 48 00:02:06,490 --> 00:02:08,657 What's going on? 'Cause we got married here. 49 00:02:08,659 --> 00:02:10,760 - No, you didn't. - Yes, we did. 50 00:02:10,761 --> 00:02:12,198 No, you didn't. 51 00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:16,588 None of the weddings that happened here were legal. 52 00:02:16,698 --> 00:02:18,151 Sorry, you got scammed. 53 00:02:18,392 --> 00:02:20,565 This place was a front for the mob. 54 00:02:21,776 --> 00:02:22,782 This is messed up. 55 00:02:22,784 --> 00:02:24,743 I can't believe this isn't a real chapel. 56 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:28,159 Yeah, what house of God doesn't have a stripper pole? 57 00:02:29,174 --> 00:02:31,297 Luke, do you know what this means? 58 00:02:31,299 --> 00:02:33,659 It means... I didn't miss your wedding. 59 00:02:33,799 --> 00:02:35,798 And now I get to be your best man. 60 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,064 And you get to have a real ceremony. 61 00:02:37,066 --> 00:02:39,277 Wow, that's a large blood stain! 62 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,830 Lizzy, my visa expires in a week. 63 00:02:42,846 --> 00:02:44,077 If we're not married by then, 64 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,746 I'll be exiled back to England, 65 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,381 forever banished from this land. 66 00:02:47,619 --> 00:02:50,072 Would you just speak American for one second? 67 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,286 I'll be sent back to England 68 00:02:52,288 --> 00:02:54,855 and put on a permanent no re-entry list. 69 00:02:54,857 --> 00:02:57,391 Well, I love you, and I'm not gonna let that happen. 70 00:02:57,393 --> 00:02:58,826 All right? We'll just get married again. 71 00:02:58,828 --> 00:03:01,128 There's a chapel across the street, see? 72 00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:02,763 Just past "Nude, Nude, Nude," 73 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,332 it says, "Wedding, Wedding, Wedding." 74 00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:06,567 Wait, you guys, 75 00:03:06,569 --> 00:03:08,168 you have a week to get married. 76 00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:10,237 I mean, I could plan something really nice for you. 77 00:03:10,239 --> 00:03:12,506 I have been called "the organizer's organizer"... 78 00:03:12,508 --> 00:03:16,176 by me... to myself... while I'm organizing. 79 00:03:17,946 --> 00:03:19,446 I do kinda feel like I missed out 80 00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:21,756 on some of that traditional wedding stuff. 81 00:03:22,108 --> 00:03:23,484 I never got a chance to propose, 82 00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:25,486 or ask your dad for his blessing, 83 00:03:25,488 --> 00:03:28,232 or make bad decisions at a bachelor party. 84 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,889 Dude, look at her, you're marrying a bachelor party. 85 00:03:32,728 --> 00:03:34,161 Aw, Lizzy, I'm touched... 86 00:03:34,163 --> 00:03:36,263 and someday, you will be again, too. 87 00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:38,332 (mouthing silently) 88 00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:39,418 You know what? 89 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:41,168 Let's do it right... 90 00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:43,437 starting now. 91 00:03:48,577 --> 00:03:51,043 Prudence Merlizabeth Baines. 92 00:03:51,781 --> 00:03:54,051 - Will you marry me? - Oh, wait, wait, wait. 93 00:03:54,483 --> 00:03:55,848 Here's a ring. 94 00:04:00,722 --> 00:04:04,046 Luke, I'd marry you a thousand times. 95 00:04:04,594 --> 00:04:06,493 But let's try and cap it at two. 96 00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:10,297 I'm sorry, can I have that ring back? 97 00:04:10,299 --> 00:04:11,960 That was my last peach one. 98 00:04:19,881 --> 00:04:22,782 Okay, the wedding planning is in full swing. 99 00:04:22,783 --> 00:04:23,982 And remember when I said 100 00:04:23,984 --> 00:04:25,428 I had something big a-brewin'? 101 00:04:25,452 --> 00:04:26,784 Lizzy, I know you're pregnant, but I don't need 102 00:04:26,785 --> 00:04:28,656 to be on every part of your journey. 103 00:04:29,521 --> 00:04:31,922 No! You wanted to ask Prudence's dad 104 00:04:31,924 --> 00:04:33,390 for her hand in marriage. 105 00:04:33,392 --> 00:04:35,092 Well, someone is a bit of an Internet sleuth 106 00:04:35,094 --> 00:04:36,827 and tracked down a Mr. Martin Baines 107 00:04:36,829 --> 00:04:38,462 in Splitwick, England. 108 00:04:38,464 --> 00:04:39,930 Oh, wow, you found his number? 109 00:04:39,932 --> 00:04:41,698 No, that would be average "best man-ing." 110 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:44,501 This little lesbo went to the market. 111 00:04:46,621 --> 00:04:47,949 Is this a riddle? 112 00:04:49,674 --> 00:04:52,242 I flew in Prudence's dad! 113 00:04:52,244 --> 00:04:53,577 His cab just got here! 114 00:04:53,579 --> 00:04:55,479 He is sitting on the couch right now! 115 00:04:55,481 --> 00:04:57,514 If I had a mic, I'd drop it. 116 00:04:59,613 --> 00:05:02,319 Oh, my God, I'm about to meet my future father-in-law! 117 00:05:02,321 --> 00:05:03,754 What do I do? How do I look? 118 00:05:03,756 --> 00:05:06,256 - Do I curtsy? - Yes, curtsy... no! 119 00:05:06,258 --> 00:05:08,225 Just relax, okay? 120 00:05:08,227 --> 00:05:09,793 Be your amazing self. 121 00:05:09,795 --> 00:05:11,595 Ask for his daughter's hand. 122 00:05:11,597 --> 00:05:13,096 And just remember that you're supposed to get 123 00:05:13,098 --> 00:05:15,265 your best man a gift, so cashmere will do. 124 00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:18,769 Thank you. 125 00:05:18,771 --> 00:05:20,504 You really are the greatest best man. 126 00:05:20,506 --> 00:05:21,972 Yeah, I guess the key to being 127 00:05:21,974 --> 00:05:23,874 a great best man is being a woman. 128 00:05:27,552 --> 00:05:30,747 Mr. Luke, I'm Baines... Bad start. 129 00:05:30,749 --> 00:05:32,349 Um... 130 00:05:32,351 --> 00:05:34,618 I'm Luke. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. 131 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:36,253 Oh, please, call me Martin. 132 00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:38,054 Lovely home you have here. 133 00:05:38,056 --> 00:05:39,289 I come bearing gifts. 134 00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:40,731 Here's an airplane blanket. 135 00:05:44,028 --> 00:05:46,096 And instructions for a water landing. 136 00:05:47,965 --> 00:05:49,332 Thank you. 137 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:54,304 Look, I'm just gonna come out and say it. 138 00:05:54,306 --> 00:05:55,639 I love Prudence. 139 00:05:55,641 --> 00:05:58,108 She makes me happier than I've ever been. 140 00:05:58,110 --> 00:06:00,310 And I want to spend the rest of my life with her. 141 00:06:00,312 --> 00:06:02,479 So with your blessing, I'd like to... 142 00:06:02,481 --> 00:06:04,081 'Ello, love! 143 00:06:04,083 --> 00:06:06,350 Martin! What are you doing here? 144 00:06:06,352 --> 00:06:08,618 - I flew your father in! - That's not my father! 145 00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:10,620 - Well, I'm pretty sure... - I'm her husband. 146 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,208 - What? - Come again? 147 00:06:14,626 --> 00:06:16,159 My ex-husband. 148 00:06:16,161 --> 00:06:18,795 No, husband... I never signed the divorce papers. 149 00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:20,797 - We're still married. - Oh! 150 00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:26,470 This little lesbo went to the wrong market. 151 00:06:29,841 --> 00:06:32,709 I'm so sorry I never told you I was married before. 152 00:06:32,711 --> 00:06:34,444 But it's not something I'm proud of. 153 00:06:34,446 --> 00:06:35,912 I was very young. 154 00:06:35,914 --> 00:06:37,288 I was very young when I went through 155 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,702 my eyeliner phase, but I showed you the picture! 156 00:06:41,919 --> 00:06:43,754 Well, I'm telling you now! 157 00:06:43,756 --> 00:06:45,589 And I was desperate to get out of my house. 158 00:06:45,591 --> 00:06:47,190 We were really poor. 159 00:06:47,192 --> 00:06:50,293 I had to share a bed with six of my seven sisters. 160 00:06:50,295 --> 00:06:52,429 Beatrice slept standing up like a horse. 161 00:06:54,162 --> 00:06:56,038 Prudence, how could you not tell me? 162 00:06:56,502 --> 00:06:58,034 I just wanted to erase the past 163 00:06:58,036 --> 00:06:59,631 and pretend it never happened. 164 00:06:59,972 --> 00:07:02,539 I thought I was divorced! I signed the papers! 165 00:07:02,541 --> 00:07:04,716 But, apparently, that wanker never did. 166 00:07:05,744 --> 00:07:09,046 That is something you should maybe follow up on! 167 00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:14,151 I know "I'm sorry" doesn't fully cover it, 168 00:07:14,153 --> 00:07:15,778 but if I had flown in your father, 169 00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:16,630 that would have been awesome! 170 00:07:16,632 --> 00:07:18,755 Can we all just take a moment to imagine that? 171 00:07:20,958 --> 00:07:22,626 Lizzy, how the hell did this happen? 172 00:07:22,628 --> 00:07:24,327 Prudence told me that her father's name was Martin. 173 00:07:24,329 --> 00:07:26,232 So we can pass the blame around a little. 174 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,102 I took "Baines" when I married him. 175 00:07:32,104 --> 00:07:34,738 And I kept it because my maiden name was hyphenated, 176 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,907 and it caused me a lot of grief growing up. 177 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:38,872 What was your name? 178 00:07:39,578 --> 00:07:42,653 It was Prudence Merlizabeth Hardmeat-Buttswallow. 179 00:07:46,778 --> 00:07:47,950 You know what? 180 00:07:48,387 --> 00:07:49,622 Good choice. 181 00:07:51,823 --> 00:07:53,023 That's the stuff we would have learned 182 00:07:53,025 --> 00:07:54,257 if we spent our second date 183 00:07:54,259 --> 00:07:55,459 doing hand stuff in a movie theater 184 00:07:55,461 --> 00:07:57,160 instead of getting married in Vegas. 185 00:07:58,863 --> 00:08:00,063 All right, I'm gonna handle this. 186 00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:01,465 I'm gonna get in his face. 187 00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:03,100 I'm gonna make him sign those divorce papers, 188 00:08:03,102 --> 00:08:05,002 and I'm gonna put him on the next plane out of here. 189 00:08:05,004 --> 00:08:06,303 Look, before you go out there, 190 00:08:06,305 --> 00:08:08,004 just know he's a bit shifty. 191 00:08:08,006 --> 00:08:09,506 He got kicked out of the Splitwick Cricket Club 192 00:08:09,508 --> 00:08:11,208 for using a weighted wicket. 193 00:08:13,357 --> 00:08:15,278 Okay, I heard "shifty." 194 00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:17,888 And I can handle him. 195 00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:19,884 Let's hope he can handle me. 196 00:08:21,349 --> 00:08:23,617 That bent my fingernail all the way back. 197 00:08:25,023 --> 00:08:26,271 Don't! 198 00:08:27,493 --> 00:08:28,825 All right, Martin, we need to talk. 199 00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:30,861 Actually, I need to talk, you need to listen. 200 00:08:30,863 --> 00:08:32,362 Or there's a third option... we could both talk 201 00:08:32,364 --> 00:08:33,997 at the same time and see who listens to what. 202 00:08:33,999 --> 00:08:35,332 - What? - What? 203 00:08:38,503 --> 00:08:41,371 See? That got us nowhere. So let me start. 204 00:08:41,373 --> 00:08:43,106 Pretty curious, isn't it, 205 00:08:43,108 --> 00:08:44,841 that your wife never told you about me. 206 00:08:44,843 --> 00:08:46,176 First of all, she's my wife. 207 00:08:46,178 --> 00:08:47,377 That's what I said, "She's my wife." 208 00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:48,745 So that's settled. 209 00:08:50,548 --> 00:08:52,349 No, it's not settled. Prudence signed those 210 00:08:52,351 --> 00:08:55,244 divorce papers a long time ago, and you should've, too. 211 00:08:55,721 --> 00:08:58,855 I let Prudence go once, and now that I've found her, 212 00:08:58,857 --> 00:09:02,760 I am never letting her go again. 213 00:09:06,397 --> 00:09:08,135 Now, you go! 214 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,069 Oh, I'll go. You're gonna sign those papers 215 00:09:12,071 --> 00:09:13,537 or I'm gonna kick your ass. 216 00:09:13,539 --> 00:09:17,107 Ooh, bad boy come to rough me up, eh? 217 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,411 This'll be fun. You hit me, I hit you. 218 00:09:21,413 --> 00:09:24,081 You hit me, I hit you. You kick me, I kick you. 219 00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:26,316 Sorry, mate, sorry, mate. Pint for you, pint for me. 220 00:09:26,318 --> 00:09:28,251 Let's just cut to the end. First round's on you. 221 00:09:42,073 --> 00:09:44,941 Look, I printed up standard British divorce papers. 222 00:09:44,943 --> 00:09:47,127 Cost me 15 quid, whatever that is. 223 00:09:47,931 --> 00:09:49,779 All we gotta do is get Martin to sign it. 224 00:09:49,781 --> 00:09:51,114 Yeah, good luck reasoning with the guy. 225 00:09:51,116 --> 00:09:53,884 He'll steal the watch right off your... what?! 226 00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:57,254 I left it at home. 227 00:09:59,619 --> 00:10:02,125 Dude's in a drinking contest with himself... 228 00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:09,728 and he's gonna win. 229 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:13,695 Look, that's why you guys are all here, okay? 230 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,297 To create a festive atmosphere, so he gets so drunk, 231 00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:17,758 he doesn't even know what he's signing. 232 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,320 Yes, but when it comes to drinking, 233 00:10:19,322 --> 00:10:20,898 no one can keep up with him. 234 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,946 He was once told by an angry mob of football hooligans 235 00:10:22,948 --> 00:10:24,581 to please calm down. 236 00:10:26,361 --> 00:10:27,508 Okay, listen, I got this. 237 00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:28,743 He doesn't know that I'm pregnant. 238 00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,144 I will go shot for shot with him. 239 00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:31,579 Even if you weren't pregnant, your idea 240 00:10:31,581 --> 00:10:33,547 of "raging" is late-night "House Hunters" 241 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:34,982 and chardonnay on ice. 242 00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:36,550 'Ello, 'ello! 243 00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:40,688 Pints taste like a possum's piss over here. 244 00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:42,823 So, we are switching to whiskey. 245 00:10:42,825 --> 00:10:45,459 Ha-hoo! To Martin! 246 00:10:51,504 --> 00:10:53,817 Feel that one going down, don't you? 247 00:10:54,475 --> 00:10:56,475 Yeah... you do. 248 00:10:58,678 --> 00:11:00,646 Should we throw another one back? 249 00:11:00,648 --> 00:11:03,048 I like your style. But hands off, love, I'm taken. 250 00:11:13,893 --> 00:11:16,095 Luke, you're not such a bad bloke. 251 00:11:16,097 --> 00:11:17,796 Thanks for keeping the missus warm for me. 252 00:11:17,798 --> 00:11:19,265 I wasn't keeping her warm for you. 253 00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:20,532 Oh, it's big of you to admit you're impotent 254 00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:22,167 in front of everyone. 255 00:11:22,169 --> 00:11:24,570 Hey, I can get it up, I can get it way up! 256 00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:31,644 He can. 257 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:36,482 (Martin laughing hysterically) 258 00:11:40,854 --> 00:11:42,288 Okay, I think he's drunk enough. 259 00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,323 He just exposed himself to our neighbor's dog. 260 00:11:45,592 --> 00:11:47,220 Poor Coco. 261 00:11:47,828 --> 00:11:49,328 Look, sit him on the couch. 262 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:51,196 I'll grab a pen and trick him into signing the papers. 263 00:11:51,736 --> 00:11:53,632 (Martin laughing) 264 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:03,776 Hey! Hey, Pru Pru, don't be shy. 265 00:12:03,778 --> 00:12:06,545 Come over here and let's reenact our wedding night. 266 00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:09,582 How? You gonna sleep with my cousin 267 00:12:09,584 --> 00:12:11,784 and then get into an argument with a post box? 268 00:12:14,554 --> 00:12:17,423 Darling, let's not fight in front of company. 269 00:12:17,425 --> 00:12:18,824 You're the company, jackass! 270 00:12:18,826 --> 00:12:20,392 (scoffs) 271 00:12:20,394 --> 00:12:22,428 Just piss off, you bloody bastard! 272 00:12:25,131 --> 00:12:28,834 Oh, and, dude, I saw what Coco saw, and I got you beat. 273 00:12:35,742 --> 00:12:38,310 I'm starting to think Prudence doesn't like me. 274 00:12:39,061 --> 00:12:39,778 Which is a pity 275 00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:41,834 'cause she's the only woman I've ever loved. 276 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,749 Yeah... 277 00:12:43,951 --> 00:12:45,951 Did you want to register to vote here? 278 00:12:50,257 --> 00:12:52,381 Can I vote for Prudence to love me? 279 00:12:52,826 --> 00:12:55,170 And less money for those bloody schools? 280 00:12:55,997 --> 00:12:58,430 Maybe it's time to move on from Prudence. 281 00:12:58,432 --> 00:13:00,866 I mean, you're a... catch. 282 00:13:03,336 --> 00:13:05,337 Nah, I'm... Am I? 283 00:13:06,998 --> 00:13:08,139 Do tell. 284 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:12,332 Okay, um... well, you're tall. 285 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:15,319 Hmm. And let's say, handsome. 286 00:13:16,514 --> 00:13:18,491 Aren't you my angel tonight? 287 00:13:18,803 --> 00:13:19,985 Look, I'll be whatever you want if you just 288 00:13:19,987 --> 00:13:21,654 sign these divorce papers. 289 00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:26,158 I've always been suspicious of women. 290 00:13:27,961 --> 00:13:30,062 Like they're using me for something. 291 00:13:30,064 --> 00:13:31,530 But not a little something-something, 292 00:13:31,532 --> 00:13:34,033 if you know what I'm... Sex. 293 00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:39,572 Oh, not gonna use you for that, nope. 294 00:13:39,574 --> 00:13:42,508 But I'm sure a lot of women would be lucky to have you. 295 00:13:42,510 --> 00:13:44,407 - Like you? - Oh, boy. 296 00:13:46,274 --> 00:13:47,379 'Cause I've had my eye on you 297 00:13:47,381 --> 00:13:49,735 since you paid for my flight out here. 298 00:13:51,318 --> 00:13:53,319 Is it... (burps) mutual? 299 00:14:00,226 --> 00:14:02,428 I don't know. I, uh... 300 00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:03,896 I can't really commit to someone 301 00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:05,731 until I see their... signature. 302 00:14:05,733 --> 00:14:08,751 (chuckling) You kinky devil. 303 00:14:10,136 --> 00:14:12,071 - You're about to. - Okay. 304 00:14:16,491 --> 00:14:17,558 Hmm? 305 00:14:30,824 --> 00:14:32,191 What do you mean you didn't get him 306 00:14:32,193 --> 00:14:33,692 to sign the divorce papers last night? 307 00:14:33,694 --> 00:14:35,871 Actually, I think Martin's moved on. 308 00:14:36,137 --> 00:14:36,962 On to what? 309 00:14:36,964 --> 00:14:38,152 'Ello, love! Oh. 310 00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:41,613 Mwah. (slapping) 311 00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:50,175 Be a dear... 312 00:14:50,177 --> 00:14:52,878 whip up some breakfast for me while I powder my peter. 313 00:14:54,047 --> 00:14:58,008 Sorry, Pruze. You snooze, you lose! 314 00:15:04,579 --> 00:15:06,747 I was just trying to encourage Martin to move on. 315 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,266 Luckily, he passed out before he could move onto me. 316 00:15:11,892 --> 00:15:14,193 Actually, this might work for us. 317 00:15:14,228 --> 00:15:15,862 He's not into Prudence anymore, 318 00:15:15,896 --> 00:15:18,898 so all you have to do is pretend to be straight, 319 00:15:18,932 --> 00:15:21,234 lead him on until he signs the papers. 320 00:15:23,303 --> 00:15:24,770 Just a little bit of flirting. 321 00:15:24,805 --> 00:15:26,639 Second base, max. 322 00:15:28,142 --> 00:15:31,210 Luke, ew, no! That is not my wheelhouse! 323 00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:32,879 Uhh! 324 00:15:32,913 --> 00:15:34,814 Lizzy, if I'm not divorced and re-married 325 00:15:34,848 --> 00:15:36,716 in four days, I'm gone. 326 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,151 You gotta take one for the team. 327 00:15:38,185 --> 00:15:40,119 I don't play for that team! 328 00:15:42,589 --> 00:15:45,324 Okay, you don't have to play, just show up to practice. 329 00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:49,295 Ah, all cleaned up. 330 00:15:49,329 --> 00:15:52,331 I, uh, improvised a bidet in there... hope that's okay. 331 00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:56,502 Last night was fun, eh? Whoo-hoo! 332 00:15:56,537 --> 00:15:59,739 All I can remember is this one calling me handsome 333 00:15:59,773 --> 00:16:03,158 and then, uh, things got a little hazy. 334 00:16:03,544 --> 00:16:05,511 Did we... 335 00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:07,994 Yeah, Lizzy, did you... 336 00:16:10,184 --> 00:16:12,318 Yeah, um... 337 00:16:12,352 --> 00:16:13,768 We had... 338 00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:16,389 boy-girl sex. 339 00:16:19,026 --> 00:16:22,395 And it was the best boy-girl sex I've ever had. 340 00:16:23,697 --> 00:16:25,798 Ooh, that's gotta sting, Pru. 341 00:16:25,832 --> 00:16:28,346 Remember when we had boy-girl sex? 342 00:16:31,472 --> 00:16:33,539 I just don't think I can be with you again 343 00:16:33,574 --> 00:16:35,575 in a heterosexual way... 344 00:16:37,377 --> 00:16:39,812 as long as you're still married to Prudence. 345 00:16:41,815 --> 00:16:43,850 Sorry, Pru, but I always thought 346 00:16:43,884 --> 00:16:46,187 I could do better than you, anyway. 347 00:16:47,054 --> 00:16:49,989 I'm about to slap the accent right out your mouth. 348 00:16:52,259 --> 00:16:53,960 I never loved you, Martin. 349 00:16:53,994 --> 00:16:55,361 I was only using you to get out 350 00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:57,363 of a bad situation at home. 351 00:16:57,398 --> 00:16:58,631 Why else would I marry you after only 352 00:16:58,665 --> 00:17:00,500 knowing you for three days? 353 00:17:02,703 --> 00:17:04,804 That's just the jealousy talking. 354 00:17:04,838 --> 00:17:07,440 Hey, Lizzy, fancy another British invasion? 355 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,084 I don't think so, Marty. 356 00:17:12,513 --> 00:17:15,815 'Cause you just divorced your wife for a lesbian! 357 00:17:15,849 --> 00:17:17,450 Boom! 358 00:17:21,818 --> 00:17:24,638 Wait, so what I'm hearing is... 359 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,860 I bagged me a lesbian?! 360 00:17:30,431 --> 00:17:32,398 That is quite a coup. 361 00:17:32,432 --> 00:17:33,833 I gotta go call me mates! 362 00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:34,912 No! 363 00:17:35,669 --> 00:17:37,603 No, that's not what I'm saying! 364 00:17:37,638 --> 00:17:39,539 There was no invasion! 365 00:17:42,242 --> 00:17:45,444 Oh, my God, I'm divorced! I'm so relieved. 366 00:17:48,949 --> 00:17:50,138 Are you all right? 367 00:17:51,349 --> 00:17:53,486 We also got married after a couple days. 368 00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:57,657 Were you using me to get out of a bad situation? 369 00:17:59,493 --> 00:18:02,994 Yeah, I know, totally gay. (chuckling) 370 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,076 Well, not anymore. 371 00:18:05,899 --> 00:18:07,717 - You wanna say hi? - No! 372 00:18:08,669 --> 00:18:09,869 All right, talk to you later, mate. 373 00:18:10,107 --> 00:18:11,370 So, here's what I'm thinking. 374 00:18:11,405 --> 00:18:13,539 I move in here, we summer in Splitwick. 375 00:18:13,574 --> 00:18:14,874 I don't have much pride, so I'm happy 376 00:18:14,908 --> 00:18:17,037 to stay home while you work. 377 00:18:17,978 --> 00:18:19,131 But I don't clean, I don't cook, 378 00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:20,912 and I definitely don't want a bunch of stinky kids 379 00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:22,506 ruining your better bits. 380 00:18:26,186 --> 00:18:28,488 Oh, you... you don't want kids. 381 00:18:28,522 --> 00:18:29,755 No. (inhaling sharply) 382 00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:31,924 Actually, that's gonna be a problem, 383 00:18:31,959 --> 00:18:35,595 because last night when we were doing the... sex... 384 00:18:37,562 --> 00:18:39,405 I'm pretty sure you got me pregnant. 385 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,035 What? Oh, no... 386 00:18:47,341 --> 00:18:49,509 I couldn't have put one up your duff that fast. 387 00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:53,846 I'm just gonna go see if I have a pregnancy test, 388 00:18:53,881 --> 00:18:56,315 'cause I'm pretty sure I got some stuff in my duff. 389 00:18:58,318 --> 00:18:59,952 Okay, well, um... 390 00:18:59,987 --> 00:19:02,321 fingers crossed it's just sour stomach! 391 00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:05,825 Just a bit of the botty totty. 392 00:19:07,561 --> 00:19:10,029 I'm... I'm sorry, Prudence, I don't know what to believe. 393 00:19:10,064 --> 00:19:12,432 First, you lied to me about ever being married. 394 00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:13,933 And then I find out 395 00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:16,636 you married Voldemort after three days also! 396 00:19:18,839 --> 00:19:21,641 Our situation is completely different. 397 00:19:21,675 --> 00:19:23,757 I married you after five! 398 00:19:25,212 --> 00:19:27,046 Oh, two extra days! 399 00:19:27,081 --> 00:19:28,915 Now I feel like a princess! 400 00:19:30,184 --> 00:19:32,075 Luke, I understand you're angry. 401 00:19:32,077 --> 00:19:33,219 Just let me explain. 402 00:19:33,253 --> 00:19:35,722 There's nothing to explain. This is a pattern. 403 00:19:35,756 --> 00:19:37,123 You marry the first sucker you meet 404 00:19:37,157 --> 00:19:38,991 to solve your problems! 405 00:19:40,694 --> 00:19:43,476 Did you marry me because you were about to be deported? 406 00:19:43,997 --> 00:19:46,999 Luke, I didn't use you to stay in the country. 407 00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:50,570 I wanted to stay in the country so I could be with you. 408 00:19:50,604 --> 00:19:52,538 You know what we have is real, 409 00:19:52,573 --> 00:19:54,312 and you know that I love you. 410 00:19:55,241 --> 00:19:58,111 Is exactly what you would say if you were using somebody. 411 00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:00,980 Luke, please! 412 00:20:01,014 --> 00:20:02,280 You have to believe me. 413 00:20:02,282 --> 00:20:03,716 Actually, I don't. 414 00:20:03,884 --> 00:20:05,685 I just have to get out of here. 415 00:20:08,388 --> 00:20:09,889 (door slamming) 416 00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:12,191 This is a bunch of measuring spoons. 417 00:20:13,694 --> 00:20:15,429 These are my keys! 418 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:23,870 Martin, someone's gonna be a daddy! 419 00:20:26,106 --> 00:20:27,507 Martin? 420 00:20:27,541 --> 00:20:29,569 Wow, that was fast. 421 00:20:31,712 --> 00:20:33,012 Martin's gone! 422 00:20:33,046 --> 00:20:35,214 - So is Luke. - What? 423 00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:38,017 He's convinced I was using him. 424 00:20:38,051 --> 00:20:39,929 He's really upset. He's just took off. 425 00:20:39,930 --> 00:20:41,007 Where did he go? 426 00:20:42,172 --> 00:20:44,319 - I don't know. - Ohh. 427 00:20:46,882 --> 00:20:48,882 So what you're saying is 428 00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:51,375 it's just you and me now. 429 00:20:58,343 --> 00:21:00,343 It's just you and me. 430 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,100 I'm gonna see how far Martin got. No? 431 00:21:05,935 --> 00:21:08,032 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 432 00:21:08,082 --> 00:21:12,632 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31496

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