All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s01e05.eng

Radio:
... Clear, bright, and cool...

( knock on door )

...Average temperature
of 15 degrees.

� West Highland Radio �

Katrina, hi.

- You're up bright and early.
- I know. I had work to do, so-

"work?" you still haven't grasped the
concept of being a Laird, have you?

I suppose if I was a school
teacher, I could knock off at 3:00?

Were you looking
for a fight?

- I just wanted to talk it through with you.
- Pity you didn't.

- There's an opportunity here for
the whole of Glenbogle. - It's an eyesore.

"Glenbogle Spring Water,
the taste of the Highlands. "

I can't believe I didn't
think of this before.

People will pay good money
for pure water.

We start off selling
to restaurants,

Then release it in a few selected
chains... Build a reputation,

- Go national. We could even take on Europe.
- Easy, Adolf.

There's jobs in it, Katrina.
Income for the whole community.

And for your estate.

So I've got six months
of wolf whistles

And builder's bum
to look forward to?

Katrina, you'll hardly
notice they're here.

These boys are professionals.
They know what they're doing.

- ( explosion ) - man: Switch it off.
Pull the lever on the left!

- Go on, pull it.
- I'm pulling it!

You were saying?

- The other left.
- What other left?

( theme music playing )

Well, of course
they hit granite.

Half of Scotland
is made of granite.

I shelled out a fortune
for a geological survey.

Don't tell me you
didn't read it?

Just get a new
drill bit.

Switzerland?! Och.

Right, right, right.

Okay, thank you.

How's the new well going?

It's a rather small hole in the
ground filled with rain water.

Really? I thought
we had lots of those.

- Who's the letter from?
- Your sister.

I've always wondered why you didn't
see more of each other in London?

- It's a big place.
- But Lizzie's in PR.

She could have helped you
launch your restaurant.

Yeah, she helped launch
The Angels' Table.

They threw out all the food
critics on the first night.

- That was Lizzie's idea.
- You see? That got lots of publicity.

It didn't get very much when the
restaurant folded a couple of weeks later.

Ah, maybe that's why she
needs a change of scenery.

What?

Oh, no.

Well, write back.

Tell her we've moved
to Australia.

I think you'll have
to tell her yourself.

Are the midges biting,
or are my ears burning?

- Lizzie, darling.
- Hello, mommy.

Hello, Archie.

Love the wellies.
Very man of the soil.

Hi, liz. Nice of you
to tell us you were coming.

I did. Oh, same old
postie I see, hopeless.

Archie, be a darling and take
Lizzie's bag upstairs.

Actually, there's a few things
out in the van if you're not busy.

Right.

Man: It just feels so right being here.

Hi, you must be Archie.

I'm Gerald.

Gerald Matthews.

And this is Janice,
and Neil, and Seabreeze.

Lizzie.

I heard all about
the house, but...

It's amazing.

Hector: What's this,
more blasted tinkers?

Lizzie: No, daddy.
They're friends of mine.

Lizzie, good god,
aren't you married yet?

Gerald, this is
Hector, my father.

Gerald:
I guessed.

How do you do?

Morning.

Where did you spring from?

Your loins.
Had you forgotten?

You're home now, girlie. We
don't discuss loins in public.

Don't just stand there, lad.
Give them a hand.

Here, let me.

It's heavy.

No, it's no bother.

Really, Archie. Drilling holes
in the place is one thing.

You might have mentioned you
were planning a pop festival.

I'll put them in the guest
bedrooms, shall I?

Yes, please, Duncan.
Thanks.

Lexie!

Any chance
of a fry-up?

Only we don't
eat red meat.

Right. Fried porridge all round then?

- Can you do us kedgeree?
- We've not got any haddock.

It'll have to be
smoked salmon?

Oh, brilliant.

- What?
- Come away in.

Lizzie? You do know we're trying

To get paying
visitors in here?

I'm not surprised
business is thin

With you scowling at the
guests as if they had fleas.

Our rates are �40 a
night, we don't accept

Credit cards, tarot
cards, or joss sticks.

Believe me,
they'll pay their way.

- How, exactly?
- All in good time.

Now if you don't mind,
I'm famished.

If you need anything,
Lexie will sort you out.

- Not you?
- No.

I work with
the ghillie.

I don't spend that much
time in the big house.

That's a shame.

No, not at all.

I'd rather be...

Out and about,

Looking after
the wildlife, you know?

It must demand
tremendous skill.

Och, no.
Not really.

It's just a matter of being
aware of your surroundings...

Knowing where
to put your feet.

- You'll have to show me sometime.
- Aye, sure.

Anyway,
uh, catch you later.

So, how's the hp
business?

I wouldn't know,
daddy, I'm in PR.

- How are you two?
- Oh, much the same.

A little seized up
at the joints.

You should let Neil give you
a massage. He's very talented.

Really?
How interesting.

- Shiatsu?
- Bless you.

It'll be nice
to see Golly again.

You'll be lucky.
Blasted fellow's gone awol.

There's moss growing
in my shotguns.

How are you doing
for money?

- I beg your pardon?
- ( sighs )

We try not to think
about it.

Maybe you should...

Because I've got an idea
that's worth millions.

I'm sure Archie would
love to hear about it.

Archie? I'm putting
it to the Laird.

I'll, uh, go and have
another look for Golly.

I think he may
have been taken by a pike.

I'm sorry, Lizzie,
I thought we told everyone.

Well, it's all very
legal and boring,

But Archie's
the Laird now.

Well...

Congratulations.

I think I'll
just go and see

If that-
Neil's about.

If it's any consolation, Lizzie,
they didn't tell me either.

So what's this big idea
of yours?

Gerald.

Gerald's the big idea?

He's a healer,
Archie.

He has the most amazing
power to tap into your soul.

Once word gets around,
we'll be fighting off

The punters
with boiling oil.

So that's why you're here,

You and your... hangers-on.

They're alternative
therapists.

They're qualified in aromatherapy,
reflexology, homeopathy.

I know, we could
call it the...

The Glenbogle Home
for Gullible Hypochondriacs.

It's a good idea.

You know it is.

You just hate it
because it was me

Who came up with it.

Fine, because you're going
to end up wishing you had.

Sam, hi, it's Archie.

How is my favorite
old hippie?

No, I don't need any veg.
I need to pick your brains.

Have you ever heard of a guy
called Gerald Matthews,

Some sort
of mystical healer?

I'm sorry, dear,
are you busy?

Just take a seat
inside.

- It's nearly ready.
- I beg your pardon?

Are you not
with Lizzie?

Actually, I was
looking for Golly.

Is he all right?

I was expecting him
the other day, but...

He's fine
as far as I know.

Did you want to leave
a message, or...

Oh, just tell him
it was Alice.

He's supposed to be
fixing up my house.

What, D.I.Y.
Sort of thing?

Aye, that sort of thing.

A man of many talents.

Oh, yes...
He is.

Anyway.

I'll tell him
you called.

Thank you,
my dear.

Gerald:
This is an extraordinary place.

The elements...
total harmony.

The yin and the yang.

Oh yes,
I've heard of them.

Those two pandas
they couldn't get to breed.

I think you're winding me up,
aren't you, Hector?

I don't get much of a
chance to do that here.

With Archie it's like
shooting goldfish.

Uh, Archie will show
you round the estate.

I hope you'll make
yourselves at home.

You are very generous,
Hector.

- Thank you.
- Not at all.

Change of scenery
does us all good.

Now look after Gerald,
Archie, will you?

He's a bit concerned
about the pandas,

Apparently.

Girl:
Bye. See you.

Katrina: Bye.

And don't forget it's
nature trail tomorrow.

Lizzie:
Nature trail?

Spreading sedition
in young minds, you mean.

I only do that
in the classroom. Hello.

Hi, Katrina.

You look fantastic.

How long
are you home for?

I'm not sure yet.
Ever, maybe?

Seriously?

You must have given
Archie a surprise.

He's got a few more
surprises coming.

Come on. I've got a bottle
of bubbly in the fridge

Just waiting
for a good excuse.

That is one sexy
set of wheels.

- Can I have a spin?
- Sure.

Goes a bit,
doesn't it?

Hey, that's my bike!

After all these years,
you still fell for it!

( laughing )

We're not based anywhere.

We follow our stars.

Oh, yeah?
How did you meet Lizzie, then?

- She found me.
- She told you about Glenbogle?

No, it's what
the crystal told us.

I dowsed a map
of the area.

It virtually took off.
You know this place sits

On the conjunction
of seven ley lines?

I must have missed
that one somehow.

Every lunar cycle,
this place will become

A focus for
terrestrial energy.

And at the end
of this week,

Full moon's in the house
of the sun.

- So you're a bit early then?
- We have to prepare.

It'll be
an extraordinary nexus

Of spiritual
and erotic power.

Right. And this
alternative health center,

Is that Lizzie's idea,
or yours?

Cynicism corrodes
the soul, Archie.

Listen, Gerald...

I don't mean
to be offensive, but...

Lizzie often has
these flashes of genius,

And somehow they always
seem to burn out.

And you're worried that you'll
be left holding the ashes?

Finding ley lines is great.

Next week's lottery numbers,
now that would be something.

Your father says you're
drilling for water.

We were, but they bent
the drill bit on some turf.

Drills violate the earth.

Mother nature prefers it
if you ask nicely.

I'll run and fetch
a spade, shall I?

Maybe if we
sacrificed a virgin?

Oh, patience,
Archie, please.

( chuckling )

( water trickling )

It's a knack...

Some people have.
( chuckles )

Katrina: Lizzie, we're
not in the Arctic Circle.

- I love doing this.
- Incinerating things?

You make me sound
like a pyromaniac.

You were always
making bonfires,

Usually out
of your diaries.

I was always trying
to make a fresh start.

- So what's he like... Gerald?
- He's extraordinary.

It's like he can see
right through you.

He has this animal aura.

Sounds like he's more
than just a client.

Do you mind?

It's unethical to sleep
with the customers.

"unethical?" I thought
you were in PR.

So, is there a man
in your life?

I think I'm better off
without a man.

It's just as well,

They're not exactly thick
on the ground round here.

Unless you count Archie,
he's thick enough.

( chuckling )

- I don't believe it.
- What?

I mention Archie
and you go all pink.

I'm not surprised, with that
fire you've got going there.

I'm not the only one
with a fire going, am I?

You are deranged.

You went that color when Andy
Collins asked you to marry him.

When I was 12!

Katrina, it's me,
Lizzie.

You're not fooling anyone.

Except yourself.

That's it.

No more champagne
for you.

Mm.

This is lovely.

Do you have
any lavender?

Not much call for it.

Doesn't exactly
go with grouse.

- It makes the most wonderful massage oil.
- I see.

Round here we make do
with peanut butter.

I'll have a look
in the gardens, thanks.

You're welcome.

Bubble head.

Hey, can I help you?

Oh, hello.

I was wondering,
is Golly around?

He doesn't spend much time
around the big house.

So he's all right then? Only
I was a wee bit concerned.

Why, is he doing
your D.I.Y. As well?

Pardon?

There was a lady
looking for him yesterday.

Oh, right.

Well, he's very
capable, you know.

Good with his hands.

Would you like
to wait for him inside?

Och, no, I don't want
to put you out.

Oh, you're not. Kettle's
just boiled. Come on.

( sheep bleating )

( thuds )

I hear moses
produced a miracle.

If this is fit to drink,
it could be a miracle.

Golly could have
found that spring.

- He knows every watercourse for miles.
- Yeah, but Golly wasn't here.

That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

Nobody's seen him
in days.

The ladies of the locality
are worried about him.

"the ladies?"

Apparently,
they rely on Golly to,

Uh, address
their womanly needs.

Golly?

Well, don't look
so shocked.

He's a ghillie,
not a monk.

- Well, yeah, but-
- the thing is...

Lately he hasn't been
rising to the occasion.

What am I
supposed to do?

Well, he's upset,
and he's depressed.

He needs to talk
to someone.

But why me?
I know nothing about it.

Oh, really?

Wouldn't you?

I'm not sure I really want to
discuss this with you, Lexie.

I don't want to discuss
it with you either,

But Golly needs to
discuss it with someone.

And you're the Laird.

Oh, Golly,
thank goodness.

For a minute there
I thought I was lost.

You were lost.

People have been
asking after you.

I saw the weirdos
arriving.

Thought I'd better
make myself scarce.

- Lizzie's friends.
- I know the type.

Nature lovers.

Should spend a few
nights in the open...

See how much nature
loves them.

So what have
you been up to?

Ah, I've been looking
for the stag, Big Eric.

There's something wrong.

Should be with the hinds.

They need their sire
and he's nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he's
a little stressed.

"stressed?"

It's a vicious circle,
isn't it?

The more he worries about
it, the worse it gets.

Maybe he should
learn to relax.

Go with the flow,
sort of thing.

"go with the flow?"

Are we talking about a deer,
or a fish?

Well, um...
Neither actually.

What the hell are
we talking about?

Your, uh...
Your problem.

What problem
would that be?

Well, your-

The lack of, um...

- You know.
- ( gun clicks )

You're lucky this gun
is not loaded, your lairdship.

Otherwise you'd be
picking buckshot

Out of your tiny,
skinny, aristocratic-

For goodness sake, Golly,
it's not the end of the world.

- It happens to all of us.
- Not to me it doesn't!

Golly, wait.
You could at least

Point me in the direction of home.

You're the wildlife expert.

You work it out.

( sighs )

Hey, have you
seen this?

New handbag?

Well, I'm glad
you think it's funny.

That well hasn't
dried up in 30 years.

Katrina, it's the
first I've heard of it.

That's just typical.

You totally disrupt
somebody's life,

And then you think if you
flutter your big brown eyes

They'll just roll over.

- Is this about your well?
- Yes, this is about my well.

Okay, then, I'm sorry. But
if you go into your kitchen,

You'll find these
things called taps.

That chlorinated widdle.

It's good enough
for the rest of us.

Anyway, why do you
need a spring

If you're opening
an alternative health center?

Who says I am?
Lizzie?

Oh, come on, it's got
to be better than sticking

A great big bottling plant
in the middle of the glen.

Unless, of course,
the Laird doesn't

Want to share his mansion
with the common ruck.

Mm-hmm.

( woman giggling )

I don't have time.

( groans )

( giggling )

( sighs )

Molly, moaning:
Oh, yes.

Oh, I'm feeling tingly
all the way up.

Oh yes,
how do you do it?

Oh, how do you do it?

Oh, yes,
it really is so...

Ooh, just a little higher...

( moaning )
oh!

Oh, oh, oh,
I've never dreamed

It could be...

All right,
what's going on?!

Oh, it's called reflexology.
It's absolutely astounding.

Oh, no, no, no.
Don't stop.

I see.
Jolly good.

You should try it,
darling.

I don't think so.

Oh, don't be so stodgy.
Get 'em off.

What?

Your shoes.

Oh!
( chuckling )

It really is
quite extraordinary.

I thought those chaps
just cut your toe nails.

That's chiropody,
not reflexology.

Ah. You know, Lizzie,

I really think
you're on to something.

Unfortunately
Archie's not convinced.

Archie, not even after
Gerald found that spring?

It was a trick. Like he said,
"lots of people have the knack. "

- Anyone could have found it.
- You didn't.

How much did
that survey cost?

It's an investment.
We'll recoup it.

Lizzie: The alternative health
center wouldn't need any investment,

We've got it all here.

Lizzie, I'm thinking
in the long-term.

So am I.

I'd like to have
my baby here.

What did she say?

I'm pregnant, daddy.

Oh, Lizzie!

Excellent!
Absolutely splendid!

Hear that, Archie? A grandson
to carry on the family line.

Marvelous.
Congratulations, liz.

It might be
a granddaughter.

Oh, yes, well. Better
than nothing, isn't it?

- Hector.
- What?

I'd like to sell
the flat in London.

I want my child
to grow up here.

Oh, yes, Lizzie.
It'll be wonderful

To have a child
in the house again.

Absolutely.
Even a girl.

Archie:
Does, uh, does Gerald know?

He is the father?

Yes, he does.
He is.

Lizzie, I know I'm
hopelessly old fashioned,

But we haven't missed
anything, have we?

- Like an engagement?
- Mommy.

( Hector groans )

I see.

Time you took matters
in hand, I think.

- What's this?
- Keys to the shotgun rack.

Father, surely a rifle
would be more humane.

I'm talking about
family honor, damn it.

It's a bit late
to worry about that.

Very well.

Daddy, please
don't make a scene.

I don't intend to.

Gerald seems
to be a gentleman.

I shall merely remind him
of his obligations.

Hector:
Gerald, a word with you.

- Shh.
- It's all right.

Meet again
this evening.

Lizzie's just told
us her good news.

Oh, you must be
very proud of her.

I understand you deserve
some of the credit.

In which case there's probably
something you want to ask me.

Lizzie said it
would be okay...

To use the library.

"library?"

For our healing session tonight.
You're welcome to join us.

That's not what I meant.

You're so lucky.

This landscape just keeps
the spirit in balance.

I hear you don't swim
in the loch any longer?

Used to...

Every day...
Once upon a time.

Why did you stop?

Got old.

Do you ever think
that perhaps

You got old
because you stopped?

We'll be starting
at 7:00, okay?

Right-o.

I- hold on!

( telephone ringing )

Glenbogle Refuge
for New Age Dropouts.

Hold on.
Uh, Archie-

Your favorite
old hippie.

Hello?

Janice: I feel the need for approval.

That's why I'm always
throwing myself at people.

And you hope that Duncan
will catch you?

- Oh, sorry.
- No, no. Please, come in.

- I was looking for Lizzie.
- She's coming later.

Please, take a seat.

All right.

We were just...

Looking at events
that shape our lives.

Talking purges
the spirit.

Ah, right.

Colonic irrigation
for the soul.

( people chuckling )

We can't...

Bury the pain
in our hearts.

No, absolutely.

Is there anything that
you would like to share?

Uh... Nope.

Nothing I can
think of, sorry.

What about what
you can't think of?

Your brother...

Jamie?

What?

The boating accident
on the loch?

When Jamie drowned.

I know you must feel
terrible guilt.

You know
nothing of the sort.

Excuse me.

Archie, there is
no healing in denial.

( door closes )

Lizzie, have you got a minute?
I don't care who

You and Gerald try to fool,
but leave the family out of it.

- Okay?
- What's the matter?

He's been interrogating me
about Jamie, for one thing.

It happened to me,
too, Archie.

But no, it just
has to be about you.

What?

After Jamie died, it was
like I didn't exist.

Everyone was so worried
about poor wee Archie.

You got all Hector's
affection.

- What affection? - Then when things
go wrong, who do they ask for?

Wee Archie, who never gave
them a thought since he left.

I'm older than you,
no one ever asked me.

Because the best
you can come up with is

Some failed double glazing salesman
who's masquerading as a guru.

You've been checking up
on Gerald?

Of course I have.
He's an undischarged bankrupt.

For goodness sake, Archie,
I could have told you that

- If you'd asked me.
- You mean you knew?

Gerald's abilities are real.
You've seen them.

( hawk screeching )

Is that what
it looks like?

What does
it look like?

Like you're hard
on poachers.

I'm building
a new hide.

- I'm Gerald.
- I know who you are.

Did you wanna hand?

( groaning )
I'm not entirely useless.

Yet.

Lonely up here.

Solitary.
Not the same thing.

All the same.

There's no one
to see your pain.

Who says
I'm in pain?

You know, the South American
Indians believe that...

We each of us
have a spirit animal.

- Uh-huh.
- Mine's the salmon.

I'm Church of Scotland,
myself.

Yours will be the stag.

There are
no stags round here.

Well, when there are...

You'll start to feel better.

Easy on the poachers, eh?

( inhaling deeply )

( flippers squeaking )

There's an osprey
nesting nearby.

She hunts on that stretch
of water just there.

Amazing.

When she dives
for a fish,

It will take
your breath away.

Duncan, you know
I said I was

Into the birds
and the bees?

Oh, yeah, the hives, they're just
a wee bit further up the glen.

- This isn't quite what I meant.
- What?

- What's the matter?
- ( stammering ) nothing.

I just feel a wee bit...
Exposed, you know?

You think there's a wild cat
out there stalking us?

- ( both chuckling )
- Lexie: Ow!

What?

Oi!

Lexie: Holy-

You nearly scared
the life out of me there.

- Lexie, what are you after?
- Mushrooms.

No need to ask
what you're after.

We haven't got very far, if
that's what's bothering you.

Why should I
be bothered?

35,000 acres and you're
picking mushrooms round here?

Look, if you two have
got something going,

I'd really like
to know about it.

You've been on the mushrooms
yourself, pet.

Well?

Hector:
Help! Help!

My leg!

( gasping )

Help!
Help!

Help!

Who's that?

- Help! Help me!
- Oh, no.

Get help, Lexie!

( panting )

( coughing )

I swam that loch every day
when I was younger.

- You're not younger any more.
- Nonsense. All in the mind.

Lexie: There's a fair
bit in your lungs as well.

I got cramped-
the way you cook,

It's lucky I could float,
never mind swim. Drink!

Oh no, no.
Help me get him upstairs.

- I don't want any help!
- You'll take it whether you want it or not,

- You silly old goose.
- ( Hector grumbling )

Archie, I am so sorry.

I had no idea he'd
take me so literally.

I've had just about
enough of this.

It's time you and
your friends left.

- No, Archie!
- Lizzie, what else does he have to do?

You can't blame Gerald
for Hector's behavior.

Father is sensitive about
his age and his health.

Gerald knew that. But
that's your trick, isn't it?

- Finding people's weak points.
- Oh, for goodness sake, Archie.

You might fool everyone else,
but you don't fool me.

This is my home
as much as yours.

- Lizzie!
- I say he stays.

Come on, Gerald.

( doors closing )

Lizzie: It drives me insane, the
way he lords it over everyone.

I'd like to burn
that stupid house down

Just to see
the look on his face.

Come on, Lizzie, don't you
think he might have a point?

Gerald gives people advice.

How they act on it
isn't his problem.

- Have you got a light?
- What about the baby?

Katrina, it's bad enough
when Archie pretends to be

Everyone's guardian angel,
the sanctimonious creep.

( snoring )

- Ahem!
- Hmm-

Now what?

Can't a man
even have 40 winks?

Not in the bath.

Not unless you really
do want to drown yourself.

( growls )

Are you sure you
won't see that doctor?

Perhaps you should.
You look like death.

Well, I've had
a bit of a shock.

Oh, I'd no idea I'd raised
such a delicate flower.

Fine.

And next time Gerald
suggests hydrotherapy,

Let me know, okay?

I don't need a second opinion,
thank you very much.

Young Gerald
has a lot more sense

Than some people I know.

I'll say it for him,
"thank you. "

And I'm sorry he
put you through this.

It's not his fault.
Gerald is the liability.

But he meant well.

And he makes
Lizzie so happy.

Hmm.

( animal bellows )

( bellowing )

� West Highland FM �

West Highland fm
with the latest

In weather and travel.

Today, sunshine with showers.

The rain most likely
in the middle of the day.

Maximum temperature 18-

Morning.

Your new friends
are eating you

Out of house
and home.

Ah well, they'll soon
be paying their way.

You're strangely
cheerful.

Listen, I, um...

What?

I really appreciate
the work that you do.

I hope you'll
be staying on.

"staying on?"
why wouldn't I be staying on?

You'll have to speak to Lizzie
about that one, I'm afraid.

- Archie- - I'm handing
it all over to Lizzie.

She's got a big idea,
she's got a baby on the way,

She's got Gerald.
And everyone else

Seems to think the sun shines
out of his armpits, so...

What about your duty
to your tenants?

Your loyalty
to your clan?

All those traditions
you're supposed to uphold?

( scoffs ) Katrina,
can you hear yourself?

Well, I know
it's all nonsense, but...

You can't just-
walk out.

Watch me.

Lizzie, Gerald, hi.

Here are
the accounts books.

Katrina can help you
with any queries.

Correspondence from the bank,
all pretty self-explanatory.

The estate records
are all filed properly,

So you shouldn't have
any trouble managing.

- Managing what?
- The estate.

Your healing center's
a wonderful idea.

You don't really
believe that.

It doesn't matter
what I believe.

I wish you all the best,
and I hope it's a huge success.

Where are you going?

Back to London. Packing today,
leaving tomorrow first thing.

It's all yours.

What's all this nonsense about you
leaving? You've got responsibilities.

I don't want them.
I never have.

If Lizzie does,
she's welcome to them.

She wants to do things her way and
you prefer her way to mine, so...

Don't ask us to choose
between the two of you.

I'd never do that.
I don't wanna hear the answer.

I'm not forcing him
to leave, Katrina.

Even when you announced
you were pregnant,

- And moving back home?
- It's a big house.

There's plenty of room
for all of us.

There's a couple
of things missing

From my bathroom cabinet.

I'm sorry,
I'll buy you some more.

That's not the point.

Pregnant women usually
don't need them.

I can't believe you'd lie
about something like that

- Just to spite Archie.
- I didn't.

I swear, I didn't.

It was
an honest mistake.

I just...
Jumped the gun.

I want a baby.

I love Gerald.

And I'm sick of
postponing my life

For the sake of
my so-called career.

Are you going
to tell your parents?

There'll be
other chances.

Are you going
to tell Archie?

Are you?

He'll still leave,
Katrina.

He's too stubborn
to change his mind.

And is that
what you want?

I want what's best
for Glenbogle.

Archie's not the only one
who loves this place.

( zipper zipping )

( bells tinkling )

( cat meowing )

There you go,
Angus.

( gate opening )

( footsteps approaching )

Lizzie: I'm not sure it's gonna happen.

We'll never get on.

Well...

You're a fire child,

And Archie's earth.

I thought
he was hot air.

No, that's your dad.

There's something
I've got to tell you.

Oh, shh.

Listen to the moon.

If you're heading
for London,

It's the other
direction.

- How did you find me?
- I wasn't looking for you.

You've got
to speak to Lizzie.

There's nothing to say.

She can't stand
the sight of me.

- That's not true.
- Well, it's mutual, anyway.

She's so scatty and dizzy
and full of energy.

And she's your sister
and you love her.

- Talk to her, Archie.
- I can't.

Every time I see her,
I think of when

The three of us were kids.

Is that why she
makes you so angry?

Because she reminds
you of Jamie?

Don't,
you sound like Gerald.

Maybe you should
listen to him.

Oh, please,
all that twaddle about

The erotic power
of the moon.

I suppose
this is goodbye.

You'll be coming down to London
sometime, will you?

No.

Right.
Well, then...

Goodbye.

Bloody hell,
it's dark out here.

- Did you bring a torch?
- No.

- What are you like?
- Well, have you?

Here, take my hand.

Stay close.

Duncan!

You creep!

- What are you looking for?
- I'll give you a clue.

It's not mushrooms.

( door slams )

( groaning )

Perhaps it's better
if he does go.

If he can't stand the heat,
he should get out of Scotland.

- Quite right, dear.
- Oh, don't talk nonsense.

Can't we lock him in his
room till he calms down?

We'll just have
to let them slug it out.

- ( pots banging, moaning )
- sounds like they're at it already.

God almighty, it's like
trying to sleep in a brothel.

Mm, 'tis, isn't it?

- Duncan!
- What?

I've brought you
a nice milky drink.

I don't want
a nice milky drink

Unless it's got
whiskey in it.

Oh, there must be something
we can do to help you sleep.

Hello?

( footsteps approaching )

( Golly whistling )

( whistling continues )

Archie.

- Fine day for a journey.
- You look a bit happier.

Oh, I am, I am.

I'm less... stressed.

Ah, so Big Eric's
back in town?

Mm. And that Gerald,
though,

He has his head
screwed on...

For a weirdo.

- Mm.
- Mm.

Great.
Rub it in.

Away and shoot
a small-brained animal...

Preferably yourself.

You can't pretend
last night didn't happen.

Last night you pushed me
on the kitchen table

And stuck your tongue
in my ear.

It doesn't mean
we're betrothed.

There's more to it than that,
and I think you know it.

Here... Go make up
with wee Janice.

Oh, Duncan, will
you bring the car round?

- Yeah, sure, boss.
- Thanks.

Morning all, and what
a splendid morning it is.

Father, I know
you're upset, but-

About what?
Oh, yes, your abdication!

I think
I'll get over it.

Lexie, a large plate
of your finest cinders.

Archie, were those your bags
out in the hall?

- Sorry, are they in the way?
- Not any more.

I told Duncan to take
them back upstairs.

- Lizzie.
- Just listen to me for once.

I made a mistake.

I'm not having a baby.

Not yet.

Oh, Lizzie.

I thought I was.

Well, part of me did.

And part of me just wanted
to get one over on Archie.

And that's no way
to start a new life.

I'm sorry.

Oh, well.

Ball back in your court,
old man.

( door closing )

Liz...
Come on.

You can try again.

Don't leave, Archie.

You're the one
to save this place.

I can never stick
at anything long enough.

I'm sorry
I wouldn't listen,

It was just
pig-headed vanity.

Your center's
a great idea.

But it needs
thinking through.

Not my specialty.

You have to stay.
Mommy and daddy need you.

And one deluded local.

Who?

That's my wee brother.

Can't see what's
under his nose.

Molly: Dear child,
take care of yourself.

It's been so lovely
having you to stay.

Archie: Lizzie, you
don't have to rush off.

I'd better get back
before they sell the flat.

Well, we're here
whenever you need us.

I'm here.

I know.

I was too hard
on Gerald.

He's, uh...
He's different.

He is,
isn't he?

And if you ever need these
windows replacing, he's your man.

- Anyway...
- Good luck.

Bye, mom.

Oh, Lizzie darling.

Ah, bye,
Lizzie.

- Have a good trip.
- Bye.

I know, I could run a hose pipe to
the well and fill it with tap water.

What do you want me to do?
Bung a big cork in the spring?

Golly?

Is it okay?

Scree-fall up the glen
diverted the burn.

I cleared it the other day.
Water table's back up.

So it had nothing
to do with the spring?

Water rarely runs
uphill, Archie.

Thanks for the drink.

If you're still looking
for a bottling plant,

- I know one going cheap.
- Where?

Put it this way,
what's in it for me?

Katrina, where?
Tell me.

- Might do.
- No, seriously.

- Ask nicely.
- Katrina, please, will you just tell me?

Ooh, getting
desperate now.

( theme music playing )

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