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Welcome. Most of you know me as
Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
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but today...
I am your guide to the future...
3
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,143
the future... the future.
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,545
Okay, so you didn't take
my note on the echo.
5
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,681
Mitchell, I can't take another
negative voice in my head.
6
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,916
I'm already freaking out
about Principal Brown.
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I kind of have a bully at school.
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You gonna eat all that?
9
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I-I guess not.
10
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,524
Okay.
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00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,126
Saw your plans for the seminar tomorrow.
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00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,161
Oh, you like it?
Y-You know, I think the kids
13
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,497
will really benefit from
hearing from four graduates
14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,365
that have taken such different paths.
15
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,601
I've got traditional college,
gap year...
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00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,704
Wrong!
We're pushing one path here... college.
17
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,706
Well, yeah,
but college isn't necessarily
18
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,307
the right path for every...
19
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,443
Tucker, are you familiar
with the term "Golden Apple"?
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00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,711
I am. I'm a little surprised
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00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,546
it's made its way into
the straight vernacular.
22
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,715
It's still illegal in Alabama.
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No, no, no, Golden Apple status
is awarded to schools
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that reach a minimum of
60% college acceptance.
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00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,655
If we dip below that,
I'm back to teaching night school.
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00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,590
If you think the lunch ladies are mean,
27
00:00:58,626 --> 00:00:59,725
you should meet the dinner ladies.
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00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,760
Yeah,
but what about the students that...
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00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:05,297
Play ball, Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
and you might just find yourself...
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Vice principal?
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00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,248
Mm-hmm.
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I just don't know if
I can preach something
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that I don't believe.
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- Ha! Play ball.
- Seems like a thing
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no one was saying, and now everyone is.
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You know what I'm doing right now?
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I'm making 100 cupcakes
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because the D.A. lost his
caterer for his kid's party
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and asked if I could help out.
40
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But if it puts me, uh,
higher up on his radar,
41
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then so be it.
42
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I'm just saying sometimes
you need to compromise
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to... to get ahead.
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Maybe it's our time now.
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Ooh, I like that.
46
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Hey, world, there's a new
power couple on the horizon.
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Yeah.
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Cam and Mitch.
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Citch... No, that sounds weird.
50
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Mam...
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We'll find it.
52
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,876
Hey, Dad,
our video conference is about to start.
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00:01:59,921 --> 00:02:02,888
Can we make it fast?
I have that sales meeting offsite.
54
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,324
Hence the power threads
and box of cigars.
55
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,992
Whoa! Dad, it's 10:00 in the morning.
56
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:07,860
- Mm.
- Ohh!
57
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,061
I don't swallow it.
58
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,797
He smells it on my breath,
he lets his guard down.
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In 20 minutes, I'm taking him
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00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,967
in a way that would make
a prison guard blush.
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00:02:15,399 --> 00:02:16,969
It's the way gentlemen do business.
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00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,372
Well, I am sorry to ruin your Glengarry,
Glenlivet fun,
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00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,974
but that meeting got canceled.
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What? I was looking forward to it.
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00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,744
Nick took care of it
by Skype this morning.
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Log on. Our meeting's about to start.
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Okay, let's begin.
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00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,952
So, Nick, where are we
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with the interactive closet
with the voice prompts?
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Here's a demo.
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Went with a Christopher
Walken soundalike voice.
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Forecast is... chilly.
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Put... on some pants.
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I think we all fell in love
with the idea of calling it
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a Walken closet,
but this just isn't working.
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00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:52,104
Hey, Claire, I don't see your
dad on the video conference.
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Damn it!
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00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,040
My computer's busted again.
79
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,075
Or your caps lock is on.
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00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,111
Can't we have this meeting
in the conference room?
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You know,
where we all sit around a table,
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there's a nice breakfast spread?
83
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:05,153
I am tired of having to keep
cream cheese in my desk.
84
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,785
Dad, you know why we do it this way.
85
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,380
We have people working here.
86
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,922
We've got people working from home.
87
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,924
We've got people working
all over the world.
88
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,126
Tiffany is in Berlin at KlausetSchvarg.
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00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,772
They still have that conference?
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00:03:15,807 --> 00:03:17,396
I thought they shut that down
in the '80s
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00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,165
after we used that sweater hutch
to smuggle that dissident out
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00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,400
during East KlausetSchvarg.
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00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,369
You're good. Just talk into the camera.
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Hoo! Sorry about that.
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All right.
How about an update on our 3-D printing?
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I think everybody knows Eduardo.
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Jay, have you two met?
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I can't see the camera!
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00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,182
Dad, you're, uh...
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you're kind of smushed up against it.
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00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:41,320
You might want to just
step back a skosh.
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Using a 3-D printer to
manufacture our closets
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will triple revenue.
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I can't hear you!
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Volume up, Dad.
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In our first year alone...
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What the hell?!
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Dad, "undo." Just...
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I know! I know!
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Double-click.
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♪ Happy birrrthday ♪
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♪ Mr. Closet... ♪
113
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No! No!
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Have your stupid meeting!
I'm outta here!
115
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,614
Margaret,
I'm going to the park across the street.
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I need a walk!
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Aah!
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Thank you so much for
helping out with Joe.
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You don't think it's too flashy?
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What are you talking about?
You're taking a magic class.
121
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You want to show them you're serious.
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It's abracadabra, not abraca-drab-ra.
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Look at that!
An open casting call.
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Excuse me, what is this for?
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We are looking for real
families to be the new faces
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00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,972
of the Glen Valley Mall.
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You guys are adorable. Want to sign up?
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Oh, we're not a-a real...
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00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,110
Oh, we would love to!
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00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:41,713
What a cool and a
spontaneous thing to do!
131
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,649
I saw that poster last week.
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It kind of reminded
me of a long time ago
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when I used to do a little modeling.
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00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:49,454
I guess I miss it.
135
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I tricked Phil into going to the mall
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because I knew that Jay
wouldn't do it with me.
137
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,395
Oh, come on, guys.
This is gonna be so much fun.
138
00:04:56,430 --> 00:05:00,065
I don't know. This kid in my class
did a cough syrup commercial.
139
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,267
Now he's always going
to the teachers' lounge
140
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,535
to call his manager.
141
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,603
He's the worst.
142
00:05:04,852 --> 00:05:06,608
And I teach a real-estate class at 5:00.
143
00:05:06,643 --> 00:05:08,140
I have to show up early to limber up.
144
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,474
Um...
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00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,678
I think that this could help
a lot with Joe's self-esteem.
146
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He's had a rough week.
147
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,683
You know how they treat
kids that are into magic.
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00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,385
Oh, you tell him when he gets to
high school, that all changes.
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I don't like lying to him.
150
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,256
Look, this isn't really my thing,
and I'm...
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00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,524
I'm feeling a little under the weather.
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00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,025
Don't... Don't I look a little pale?
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- We will do it!
- Great.
154
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Our P.A. will set you up with
wardrobe for some test shots.
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00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,399
Hey, team. Can I get you anything?
156
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,868
Uh, coffee? Water? Still or sparkling?
157
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,170
Ooh, I-I'd take a sparkling.
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00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,805
Talent wants sparkling.
159
00:05:40,222 --> 00:05:41,373
Did you hear that, Phil?
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00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,175
They call us talent!
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00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,976
Let's not get carried away.
We're still reg...
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I said sparkling.
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Well, looks like you're gonna get
a pretty solid turnout, Tucker.
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Now close the deal.
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00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,254
Hey, what is, uh, "whanex"?
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It's the way the kids say "What's next?"
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You know, if you want to reach them,
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00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,560
you have to learn to
speak their language.
169
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,095
Massive screw-up at the print shop.
170
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,397
I-I have no idea how it happened!
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Yeah, that's right.
The banner should read...
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whanex. Okay.
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Yeah, whanex. Uh-huh.
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Welcome, students,
to the first annual "whanex" seminar.
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Let's, uh, just jump right
into it and meet our panelists.
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We have two bright,
young people who chose the college path
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and two wayward souls
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whose mistakes we can
only hope to learn from.
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'Sup, Dolphins?
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00:06:31,662 --> 00:06:33,951
Nick, I'm so sorry
about my dad this morning.
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- Hi.
- Please forget it.
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- We've got a bigger problem.
- Hmm?
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00:06:36,722 --> 00:06:39,056
We have to find a new voice for
the virtual closet assistant.
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We're thinking... female.
185
00:06:41,394 --> 00:06:43,193
Yeah, I was wondering about that myself.
186
00:06:43,229 --> 00:06:44,361
Hold on a second.
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Claire has a great voice...
commanding but alluring.
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00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,832
Oh, come on. I don't know about...
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...alluring.
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00:06:50,069 --> 00:06:51,068
You're right.
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00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:52,670
You're right. I can totally hear it.
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00:06:52,705 --> 00:06:53,804
Guys, guys...
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...you're embarrassing me.
194
00:06:55,775 --> 00:06:57,274
Where have you been hiding this?
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Within half an hour,
I had recorded all the voice prompts
196
00:06:59,845 --> 00:07:01,779
for the new smart-closet,
and they installed it
197
00:07:01,814 --> 00:07:03,647
in the prototype right in the office.
198
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:07,017
Everyone seemed really happy,
but I don't get it.
199
00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:08,252
I mean...
200
00:07:08,321 --> 00:07:10,454
...a voice is just a voice.
201
00:07:12,758 --> 00:07:14,325
Oh, good. Dad, you're back.
202
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,329
Please step into our new
smart-closet prototype.
203
00:07:18,364 --> 00:07:20,597
So you can yell at me for bailing
on the meeting this morning?
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00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:22,099
Just... You'll see.
205
00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:24,601
Oh.
206
00:07:24,637 --> 00:07:26,170
May I help choose an outfit for you?
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00:07:26,205 --> 00:07:27,438
'Cause I'm some old fossil
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00:07:27,473 --> 00:07:29,206
that still puts on a suit to go to work?
209
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,407
Let's start over.
210
00:07:30,443 --> 00:07:31,675
Why don't we?!
211
00:07:31,711 --> 00:07:33,677
What level of comfort
are you looking for?
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00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:36,780
Same thing I've had for
the last 40 years...
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00:07:36,816 --> 00:07:38,982
a workplace where you
interact with actual people
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every once in a while,
like we're doing right now.
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I used to love sales calls.
216
00:07:42,988 --> 00:07:44,254
Now we don't even do them anymore.
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00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:45,889
I mean, put yourself in my shoes.
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00:07:45,925 --> 00:07:47,491
Dress or casual?
219
00:07:47,526 --> 00:07:48,892
Why do you sound like Lauren Bacall?!
220
00:07:48,928 --> 00:07:50,260
I don't understand.
221
00:07:50,296 --> 00:07:53,330
Right, because now, like everything,
my references are old and out of step.
222
00:07:53,366 --> 00:07:54,531
Why are you yelling?
223
00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:56,767
If you don't get it by now,
you're never gonna get it!
224
00:07:56,802 --> 00:07:58,802
Well, somebody's panties are in a bunch.
225
00:07:58,838 --> 00:08:01,372
May I offer you a different pair?
226
00:08:01,407 --> 00:08:03,607
That's just weird.
227
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:08,045
Ooh! Very good.
228
00:08:09,811 --> 00:08:12,677
I had an hour to make 100 cupcakes
for my boss's son's party,
229
00:08:12,719 --> 00:08:14,164
but it was all gonna be worth it.
230
00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:17,855
He was gonna be so grateful,
the next big promotion would be mine.
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00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:19,757
You ungrateful monster!
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00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:22,326
Two sisters, two paths.
233
00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:23,794
Graduation...
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00:08:23,829 --> 00:08:25,262
procreation.
235
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,097
The world on a string...
236
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:29,700
a baby and no ring.
237
00:08:29,735 --> 00:08:32,069
Uh, you...
you said you were happy for me.
238
00:08:32,104 --> 00:08:34,338
You said a baby would
bring me limitless joy.
239
00:08:34,373 --> 00:08:35,239
And a limited bank account.
240
00:08:35,274 --> 00:08:38,675
Now, Manny, no one can doubt the
real-world value of an art degree,
241
00:08:38,711 --> 00:08:41,044
but talk a little bit about
the exciting social scene.
242
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,447
It's funny you ask...
I went to a wine and cheese mixer
243
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:44,948
at the Dean's house the other night.
244
00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:47,384
He collects instruments
of indigenous people.
245
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:50,120
And by the time we killed the
last bit of a chewy Zinfandel,
246
00:08:50,156 --> 00:08:53,290
our jam sesh started to
sound like a didgeri-don't.
247
00:08:54,794 --> 00:08:56,093
Thank you.
248
00:08:56,128 --> 00:08:57,761
Could I please pipe in here?
249
00:08:57,797 --> 00:08:58,796
Yes, please. Alex.
250
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:01,698
I genuinely appreciate the
opportunity to come back here,
251
00:09:01,734 --> 00:09:05,202
where I had the pleasure of
serving as co-valedictorian,
252
00:09:05,237 --> 00:09:07,571
to offer a message of hope
253
00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:11,241
to those oft-marginalized
overachievers out there.
254
00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:15,679
I... see... you.
255
00:09:15,714 --> 00:09:18,541
Well, I can't be the only
one with goose bumps in here.
256
00:09:18,576 --> 00:09:20,383
Oh. Excuse me. Oh.
257
00:09:20,407 --> 00:09:21,852
Yes, let's open it up for questions.
258
00:09:21,887 --> 00:09:23,420
Right here in the front row. Go ahead.
259
00:09:23,456 --> 00:09:24,855
I still don't get "whanex."
260
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:27,424
It sounds like my grandparents'
long-distance carrier in Oregon.
261
00:09:28,661 --> 00:09:30,027
Okay, okay. You know what?
I have to take this.
262
00:09:30,062 --> 00:09:31,762
Uh, Luke, Haley, talk a little bit
263
00:09:31,797 --> 00:09:34,731
about how you still live
at home with your parents.
264
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,201
Hey, what's up?
I'm in the middle of my thing.
265
00:09:37,651 --> 00:09:38,535
Flip what I said before.
266
00:09:38,571 --> 00:09:40,070
Start talking up the dummies.
267
00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:41,171
What?
268
00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:42,940
Um, I just got a text from work.
269
00:09:42,975 --> 00:09:45,142
My boss gave that big
case to someone else!
270
00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:48,745
Meanwhile, I'm still on the
hook for these stupid cupcakes!
271
00:09:49,949 --> 00:09:52,149
M-My heart is racing, my...
my hands are numb.
272
00:09:52,184 --> 00:09:55,118
Plus, I-I think I have a
case of airborne diabetes!
273
00:09:55,154 --> 00:09:56,487
Wait. Are you saying I-I should...
274
00:09:56,522 --> 00:09:58,922
Look, if those college
application numbers fall,
275
00:09:58,958 --> 00:10:00,724
Principal Brown, he gets fired.
276
00:10:00,759 --> 00:10:02,993
Guess who's up next. Principal Tucker.
277
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:06,096
I've never dared dream of such a thing.
278
00:10:06,131 --> 00:10:07,164
More money,
279
00:10:07,199 --> 00:10:08,732
better parking space,
280
00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:10,634
plus you get to pick the prom theme.
281
00:10:10,669 --> 00:10:13,570
I can finally make my
Enchanted Bayou a reality.
282
00:10:13,606 --> 00:10:15,105
Okay, t-talk... talk soon.
283
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:16,940
What's great about art school
284
00:10:16,976 --> 00:10:19,076
is that a lot of the faculty
work in the industry.
285
00:10:19,111 --> 00:10:22,980
My film studies professor has
led tours at every major studio.
286
00:10:23,015 --> 00:10:24,581
All right, thank you, Manny.
287
00:10:24,617 --> 00:10:26,383
And for those of you still awake,
288
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:29,553
I think what we've learned
here today is... college,
289
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,255
a dead end.
290
00:10:35,060 --> 00:10:36,193
Okay, up next.
291
00:10:36,228 --> 00:10:38,262
Philip, Gloria, and Joe.
292
00:10:38,297 --> 00:10:39,563
Same setup.
293
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:41,865
Dad playing catch with his son.
Mom laying out a picnic.
294
00:10:41,901 --> 00:10:43,967
So, just real natural.
Like I'm not even here.
295
00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:45,369
You got it.
296
00:10:48,374 --> 00:10:49,306
Maybe not so sexy.
297
00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:50,207
My bad.
298
00:10:50,242 --> 00:10:51,408
He was talking to Mom.
299
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,577
You can just lay out the
food in a normal way.
300
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:55,612
Copy that. No divas here.
301
00:10:57,416 --> 00:10:59,383
Her head is doing something weird.
302
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:00,684
Can we straighten that up?
303
00:11:00,719 --> 00:11:01,985
Hang on, guys.
304
00:11:04,092 --> 00:11:05,489
Why are they whispering?
305
00:11:05,524 --> 00:11:06,957
You think I look too young for you?
306
00:11:06,992 --> 00:11:08,492
Why? Are my crow's feet showing?
307
00:11:08,527 --> 00:11:10,460
I knew makeup was going
too light on the concealer.
308
00:11:10,496 --> 00:11:12,529
Guys, we're just mixing
and matching today,
309
00:11:12,565 --> 00:11:14,865
so we're thinking about
swapping out one of you.
310
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,133
No, we're a team.
311
00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:18,502
You get rid of one of us,
and you lose all of us.
312
00:11:18,537 --> 00:11:19,369
It's the kid.
313
00:11:19,405 --> 00:11:20,404
Okay.
314
00:11:21,907 --> 00:11:23,473
I thought this was
supposed to be for Joe.
315
00:11:23,509 --> 00:11:25,142
Obviously, he's terrible at it,
316
00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:27,945
so how is that gonna help
him with his self-esteem?
317
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,279
Hi, I'm Tyler.
318
00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:31,487
Oh, this is not good.
319
00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:32,516
Tyler, don't get too comfortable.
320
00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,718
I think we want to try
something different.
321
00:11:34,753 --> 00:11:36,019
- Hey, Sean, could you step up here?
- Yep.
322
00:11:36,055 --> 00:11:37,020
I'm so sorry, Phil.
323
00:11:37,056 --> 00:11:38,855
No, we want to look at two dads.
324
00:11:39,271 --> 00:11:40,457
I can't play the kid.
325
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,259
Looks like you're out. Here we go.
326
00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:43,293
- Sean, was it?
- Yeah. Hey.
327
00:11:43,329 --> 00:11:44,695
- How are you?
- Good.
328
00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:47,497
Hmm. Not feeling that chemistry.
329
00:11:47,566 --> 00:11:48,799
Maybe we should kiss?
330
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,801
We could just wait for
them to tell us what to do.
331
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,603
Let's try Sean and a mom.
332
00:11:52,638 --> 00:11:53,604
Move, Phil.
333
00:11:53,639 --> 00:11:55,639
No, we meant Lydia.
334
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,943
All right, almost there.
335
00:11:59,979 --> 00:12:01,745
Hey, Joe, hop up here for me.
336
00:12:03,816 --> 00:12:06,483
Yes! That's our family.
337
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,151
The new faces of Glen Valley Mall.
338
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:10,520
Everyone else can go. Thank you.
339
00:12:11,087 --> 00:12:12,489
Nice working with you guys.
340
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,125
I have an audition across town.
341
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,126
For what?
342
00:12:16,161 --> 00:12:17,461
Do they need grownups?
343
00:12:19,277 --> 00:12:21,756
All right. We heard
from our college-going sheep.
344
00:12:21,757 --> 00:12:25,059
Now, Luke, you wisely took a gap year,
345
00:12:25,094 --> 00:12:28,229
got a job, made mad stacks,
and invested a little, correct?
346
00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:29,196
Totally.
347
00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:31,732
I own 300 microrubels,
348
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:33,801
a Russian cryptocurrency
I heard about on Facebook,
349
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,436
which currently, you can only use
350
00:12:35,471 --> 00:12:37,738
to buy a Chechen party
drug called Frankenstein.
351
00:12:37,773 --> 00:12:39,273
Okay, Haley, uh...
352
00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:41,542
hot boyfriend, job, baby on the way...
353
00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:44,478
You seem to have it all,
yet you took a very different path
354
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:45,779
than your older sister, Alex.
355
00:12:45,815 --> 00:12:46,747
I'm younger!
356
00:12:46,782 --> 00:12:47,786
Oh, wow. Okay.
357
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:50,184
I guess that's why they call studying
"the new smoking."
358
00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:51,673
No one says that.
359
00:12:51,708 --> 00:12:52,520
Can I add...
360
00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:54,183
I'm sure you can,
but it won't help in the real world.
361
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,145
Anyway, thank you all for coming.
362
00:12:56,226 --> 00:12:58,359
Have a good afternoon. Thank you.
363
00:12:58,394 --> 00:12:59,527
Cam, what the hell?
364
00:12:59,562 --> 00:13:00,861
I learned a lot.
365
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:02,897
Tucker!
366
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:06,166
I wasn't picking up a lot of Uber fares,
so I came back here early
367
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,668
and I heard the end of
your little presentation.
368
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,103
I know what you're trying to do.
369
00:13:09,138 --> 00:13:11,305
Hey, I just need to talk to him for...
for one second.
370
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,806
Hey, hey. Guess what.
371
00:13:12,842 --> 00:13:15,676
I just dropped off the
cupcakes at my boss's house.
372
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,445
Turns out he...
he didn't give me the case I wanted
373
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:20,548
because he had an even
better one for me.
374
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:21,594
Really? T-That's amazing.
375
00:13:21,684 --> 00:13:23,091
And he didn't want me to make cupcakes.
376
00:13:23,152 --> 00:13:24,658
He just wanted me to
recommend a new caterer.
377
00:13:24,687 --> 00:13:28,022
So we had a big laugh about that.
378
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,690
But just goes to show,
379
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:30,791
don't play games.
380
00:13:30,826 --> 00:13:32,426
Do your job, and you'll be recognized.
381
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:34,495
- Yeah, but you said...
- No, ah! Forget what I said.
382
00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:36,730
T-There's no one path to success.
383
00:13:36,766 --> 00:13:39,300
I mean, that's what you
should be telling these kids.
384
00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:40,935
Yeah, that's what I was
going to tell these kids...
385
00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:43,671
Damn it, Tucker! I can't hold
my alpha power stance this long.
386
00:13:43,706 --> 00:13:45,773
My calves are starting to cramp.
387
00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:48,709
- Okay, well, first of all...
- No, can it! Okay?
388
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,911
You thought you could bury me
by killing college applications,
389
00:13:50,947 --> 00:13:52,179
didn't you? Hmm?
390
00:13:52,214 --> 00:13:54,348
I will clean out my half
of the desk that I share.
391
00:13:54,383 --> 00:13:56,984
Oh, no, it's... I'm so sorry.
T-This is... This is my fault.
392
00:13:57,019 --> 00:13:58,686
I tried to play ball at work.
393
00:13:58,721 --> 00:14:00,955
There was a lot of unnecessary baking.
394
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,122
D...
395
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:04,970
The point is,
I-I put these ideas into his head, so...
396
00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:05,860
Oh.
397
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:07,828
So you're so weak and without conviction
398
00:14:07,863 --> 00:14:09,964
that somebody suggests
some stupid idea to you
399
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:12,833
and without even thinking,
you just abandon all your values
400
00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:14,868
and fold like a cheap Chinese fan, huh?
401
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:17,471
Yes, sir. I am a worm.
402
00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:19,607
That is exactly what I'm looking for.
403
00:14:19,642 --> 00:14:20,947
No threat to me at all.
404
00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:23,944
Well, congratulations,
permanent Vice Principal Tucker.
405
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:24,845
- Really?
- Yes.
406
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:25,913
Thank you! I love you!
407
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:26,935
I love you, too.
408
00:14:27,049 --> 00:14:29,383
Now, first order of business...
fix what you did here.
409
00:14:29,418 --> 00:14:31,619
You are gonna give me a Golden Apple.
410
00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:34,154
Hey, hey!
We are in a committed relationship!
411
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,090
No, no, no. It's not the same thing
we saw at Pepper's bachelor party.
412
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,092
- It's not?
- No.
413
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,694
After fighting with everybody all day,
414
00:14:40,730 --> 00:14:44,164
I was starting to think maybe...
I was the jerk.
415
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,433
So I ended up back at the old office,
you know,
416
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:50,738
trying to figure out what it
was about going to work there
417
00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:52,640
that I loved so much.
418
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:56,877
Congratulations.
419
00:14:56,912 --> 00:15:00,214
You've been hired at Pritchett's
Closets, Blinds, and Waterbeds.
420
00:15:00,249 --> 00:15:01,548
I'm Jay Pritchett.
421
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:02,983
Welcome to the team.
422
00:15:03,826 --> 00:15:04,585
You hear that?
423
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,220
They're cheering for you already.
424
00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:09,423
That's something we value here...
teamwork.
425
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,358
And whether you're in sales or shipping
426
00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:13,827
or one of those cute
tomatoes in the steno pool,
427
00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:15,295
you're important,
428
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,031
'cause we're family here.
429
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:20,000
Wait a minute! Who's this new employee?
430
00:15:20,036 --> 00:15:21,268
It's me... Claire, Daddy.
431
00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:23,604
Oh, right! It's Claire!
432
00:15:29,671 --> 00:15:30,937
Nice hands.
433
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,789
Reminds me why our softball
team never won a game.
434
00:15:33,883 --> 00:15:36,216
Look who they let out
of the fancy corporate office.
435
00:15:36,252 --> 00:15:38,952
Hey, that wife of yours get
smart and leave you yet?
436
00:15:38,988 --> 00:15:40,854
Eh, actually, she did. It's been rough.
437
00:15:40,890 --> 00:15:42,222
- Oh. I'm so sorry.
- I... We didn't know.
438
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,224
Ah, you mutts, I'm screwing with you!
439
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,259
Where's she going?
440
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:50,898
I knew my dad was
going through something,
441
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,766
and when I saw his
car at the old office,
442
00:15:52,802 --> 00:15:54,605
I-I stopped by to check on him.
443
00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:56,370
Are you feeling shy, Claire?
444
00:15:56,405 --> 00:15:57,738
Uh...
445
00:15:57,773 --> 00:15:59,206
yeah, I guess I am a little.
446
00:15:59,241 --> 00:16:01,642
- Um...
- How old are you?
447
00:16:01,677 --> 00:16:04,011
You're right. Just come out and say it.
448
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,379
Um...
449
00:16:05,414 --> 00:16:08,115
I'm worried that you're
unhappy we sold the company
450
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:09,516
and you're blaming it on me.
451
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,752
You're making that face
like you have to go potty.
452
00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:14,455
I'm anxious and...
453
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:15,889
How can you even see my face?
454
00:16:16,506 --> 00:16:18,092
She's my daughter.
455
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,426
She thinks she runs the place.
456
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,302
You said he wouldn't do it.
457
00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:30,070
You're damn right, I did it.
458
00:16:30,106 --> 00:16:31,405
Boss is still the best, huh?
459
00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:36,343
My dad was homesick.
460
00:16:36,378 --> 00:16:38,979
That is one photogenic butt, Jay.
461
00:16:39,015 --> 00:16:40,981
Take it with you.
You can kiss it at home, too.
462
00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:45,552
- Hey, guys. Hi.
- Hey!
463
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,454
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
464
00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:49,389
I, uh, saw your car.
465
00:16:49,853 --> 00:16:50,701
Look...
466
00:16:50,782 --> 00:16:53,093
I know you've been
frustrated at work lately.
467
00:16:53,129 --> 00:16:54,495
Don't worry about that.
468
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:55,896
You're doing great, though, huh?
469
00:16:56,412 --> 00:16:57,731
Yeah, I kind of love it.
470
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:01,068
But it doesn't feel
right if you hate it.
471
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,274
Dad, we can bail on the whole thing.
472
00:17:03,306 --> 00:17:04,671
You know what I need to bail on?
473
00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,741
Being such a little peach.
474
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:08,876
- Hmm?
- What?
475
00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:11,211
They bruise easily.
It could be an expression. I don't know.
476
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,447
The point is, when I was here,
I reached out more.
477
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:15,816
I made videos greeting people.
478
00:17:15,851 --> 00:17:17,184
I built real relationships.
479
00:17:17,219 --> 00:17:19,286
Those three guys...
I knew two of their names.
480
00:17:20,131 --> 00:17:22,689
I think maybe I need to try to
be a little bit more like you
481
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:25,025
and give this new thing a chance.
482
00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:27,127
You know, they're not so
bad when you get past the...
483
00:17:27,163 --> 00:17:30,197
the hipster beards and
the sweaty handshakes.
484
00:17:30,232 --> 00:17:31,799
Tell me about that printer guy, Eduardo.
485
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:33,634
What the hell is 3-D printing anyway?
486
00:17:33,669 --> 00:17:35,002
Look at you trying.
487
00:17:35,037 --> 00:17:36,120
Oh, Dad!
488
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,839
Okay, 3-D printing is
when you take three lasers
489
00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:40,340
and you can scan any object you want.
490
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:41,542
You...
491
00:17:41,577 --> 00:17:43,110
You want to 3-D print your butt,
don't you?
492
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:45,212
We want them to like me, don't we?
493
00:17:45,247 --> 00:17:46,446
Ohh...
494
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,715
Okay, baby, have fun at your play date.
495
00:17:48,751 --> 00:17:50,247
I'll pick you up in two hours.
496
00:17:50,686 --> 00:17:53,453
Can you believe I'm a model now?
497
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,255
Crazy world.
498
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,123
See you, buddy.
499
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,058
- Bye, baby.
- Bye, Mom!
500
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:00,497
Gosh, I'm so happy for that kid.
501
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:03,230
Yeah, we keep saying that.
502
00:18:03,265 --> 00:18:05,566
I feel, uh, silly I got so invested
503
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:08,769
in modeling for some mall
poster no one's ever gonna see.
504
00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:09,970
You want to feel better?
505
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,672
I'll show you something
that is gonna make me
506
00:18:11,707 --> 00:18:14,308
look more pathetic than you do.
507
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,577
I think I said "silly," but, um...
508
00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:17,945
yeah, okay.
509
00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:22,649
That was me 20 years ago.
510
00:18:23,259 --> 00:18:25,185
That's amazing.
511
00:18:25,221 --> 00:18:26,720
But what are you so upset about?
512
00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:28,755
You're just as beautiful
now as you were then.
513
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:30,858
Aww. I know.
514
00:18:30,893 --> 00:18:32,759
It's just that it was a time in my life
515
00:18:32,795 --> 00:18:35,696
where I was out there hustling,
516
00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:38,265
modeling, driving a taxi,
517
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:41,235
selling bacon-wrapped hot
dogs outside a nightclub.
518
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:45,239
Seeing them taking it
down made me feel like
519
00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:48,141
that version of me is gone forever.
520
00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:50,377
So that's why you wanted
to start modeling again.
521
00:18:50,412 --> 00:18:53,847
I just miss being passionate
about something again.
522
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,416
The way that you feel
passionate about real estate.
523
00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:58,986
- Mm.
- You always seem, like, so alive,
524
00:18:59,021 --> 00:19:01,455
making new deals, meeting new people.
525
00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:04,892
Have you ever thought
about becoming a Realtor?
526
00:19:04,927 --> 00:19:07,394
- Who hasn't?
- That's true.
527
00:19:07,429 --> 00:19:10,097
I bought a book one time
to learn how to do it,
528
00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:11,865
but you know how it is.
529
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:15,168
Sometimes in life, you just get stuck.
530
00:19:15,204 --> 00:19:17,170
I think you'd be great at it. Really.
531
00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:18,805
I'd buy anything from you.
532
00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:20,440
I'm thinking about getting
my chompers bleached,
533
00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:21,842
and there's only half of you up there.
534
00:19:21,877 --> 00:19:24,344
- Really?
- Yeah.
535
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:27,314
It can be scary to
ask yourself what's next.
536
00:19:27,349 --> 00:19:29,917
All the doubts start to creep in.
537
00:19:30,438 --> 00:19:32,953
Are people going to like me?
538
00:19:32,988 --> 00:19:34,254
Ooh, still hot.
539
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:35,889
Thank you!
540
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,925
I throw a tractor tire
around the backyard
541
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,059
a couple days a week.
542
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:42,496
Can I handle the challenge?
543
00:19:45,801 --> 00:19:47,301
Dude.
544
00:19:49,672 --> 00:19:52,172
You can ask these questions forever,
545
00:19:52,207 --> 00:19:54,775
or you can just take the first step.
546
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:58,111
Here is your five-point
checklist for any open house.
547
00:19:58,147 --> 00:19:59,146
Number one...
548
00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:03,216
Sorry, professor.
549
00:20:07,461 --> 00:20:09,368
Phil, honey. What are you doing here?
550
00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:11,795
Hey. I thought I'd surprise
you and take you out to dinner.
551
00:20:11,826 --> 00:20:12,691
Ooh!
552
00:20:12,743 --> 00:20:15,127
Spontaneous. You know I like that.
553
00:20:15,162 --> 00:20:17,129
Well, um, let me just make sure
everybody's gone.
554
00:20:17,164 --> 00:20:18,330
I'll grab my bag and lock up.
555
00:20:18,365 --> 00:20:19,431
Awesome.
556
00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:25,604
May I help you with your clothes?
557
00:20:25,639 --> 00:20:27,105
Ooh.
558
00:20:27,141 --> 00:20:29,408
I guess we are the only ones here.
559
00:20:29,443 --> 00:20:32,177
Perhaps we'll start with the pants.
560
00:20:32,212 --> 00:20:33,045
Wow.
561
00:20:34,248 --> 00:20:35,881
Normally, you like a little...
562
00:20:35,916 --> 00:20:37,249
slow shirt unbuttoning,
563
00:20:37,284 --> 00:20:41,119
but I guess we...
are cutting to the chase.
564
00:20:42,298 --> 00:20:45,005
Dad, are you still looking for
a place to leave that butt?
565
00:20:45,057 --> 00:20:45,957
It's so gross.
566
00:20:46,063 --> 00:20:48,062
There's nothing better
for office camaraderie
567
00:20:48,117 --> 00:20:49,131
than a practical joke.
568
00:20:49,174 --> 00:20:51,133
It lifts people's spirits.
569
00:20:51,176 --> 00:20:52,134
Mm.
570
00:20:56,225 --> 00:20:57,269
Well played.
571
00:21:01,937 --> 00:21:04,075
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00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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