Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,031 --> 00:00:13,671
(CLUNK)
Whoa! Hmmmmm!
2
00:00:19,226 --> 00:00:21,946
(DRAWER SQUEAKS)
3
00:00:27,077 --> 00:00:29,237
(RATTLES)
(SIGHS)
4
00:00:32,591 --> 00:00:35,111
(CAR CHUGS)
5
00:00:36,421 --> 00:00:38,860
Hal, did you replace that bulb?
6
00:00:38,757 --> 00:00:42,117
What does it look like I'm doing?!
7
00:00:43,122 --> 00:00:45,761
Yes no maybe
8
00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:48,449
I don't know
9
00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:51,729
Can you repeat the question?
10
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,705
You're not the boss of me now
11
00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:57,425
You're not the boss of me now
12
00:00:57,368 --> 00:01:00,407
And you're not so big
13
00:01:00,278 --> 00:01:02,718
You're not the boss of me now
14
00:01:04,644 --> 00:01:07,163
You're not the boss of me now
15
00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:09,855
And you're not so big
16
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,537
Life is unfair
17
00:01:18,085 --> 00:01:23,044
Here we are, Bernard.
This is my cage.
18
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:26,833
Are you serious? (WHISPERS)
Mom? Dad?
19
00:01:26,663 --> 00:01:29,862
This is Bernard,
the hamster from my class.
20
00:01:29,727 --> 00:01:33,686
It's my weekend to take care
of him. This isn't a good time.
21
00:01:33,518 --> 00:01:36,677
I want you to see how good
I am at taking care of him,
22
00:01:36,544 --> 00:01:39,623
and how good I'd be
at taking care of a dog.
23
00:01:39,492 --> 00:01:42,931
Did I mention
that all the other kids have dogs?
24
00:01:42,786 --> 00:01:45,905
Honey,
your father and I need to talk.
25
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:50,612
I saw a nice one at the pet store
and I could name him Jeff and -
26
00:01:50,406 --> 00:01:53,366
Go play in your room!
OK.
27
00:01:57,874 --> 00:02:00,633
I'll put your cage right here,
Bernard.
28
00:02:00,516 --> 00:02:04,475
Sorry I said
I wanted a dog in front of you.
29
00:02:04,307 --> 00:02:07,346
Is your brain big enough
to get your feelings hurt?
30
00:02:07,218 --> 00:02:10,618
Me neither.
I'll take good care of you.
31
00:02:12,847 --> 00:02:15,687
Bernard?
32
00:02:21,846 --> 00:02:24,286
(SQUEAK! SQUEAK!)
33
00:02:29,276 --> 00:02:34,635
I thought you were getting a routine
check-up. That's when they find it.
34
00:02:34,407 --> 00:02:38,087
Can't they do anything?
Not until they get the biopsy back.
35
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,868
There you are.
(SQUEAK! SQUEAK!)
36
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:49,403
You can't call that a short cut!
It has to be shorter! Says who?!
37
00:02:49,189 --> 00:02:53,428
Says the word! It's just when
you don't use regular streets.
38
00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:57,007
If it took 150 years
to cross the street,
39
00:02:56,848 --> 00:03:00,247
as long as you went through some
bushes, that'd be a short cut?!
40
00:03:00,103 --> 00:03:05,022
You hate being wrong.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
41
00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:09,092
What is wrong with you?
Look at that floor! Oh, sorry.
42
00:03:08,911 --> 00:03:12,590
How many times have I said
don't track mud into this house?
43
00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:15,713
We'll clean it up. Not good enough!
You're grounded for a week!
44
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:20,573
What? You can't do that!
Want it to be two weeks? Dad!
45
00:03:20,361 --> 00:03:24,320
You heard your mother. This is
ridiculous! You're being unfair!
46
00:03:24,152 --> 00:03:28,071
Just because Malcolm got mud on his
shoes and tracked it in the house
47
00:03:27,905 --> 00:03:31,305
doesn't mean he should be grounded.
Go to your room now!
48
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:39,467
What's her problem? They're so boring
they invent stuff to be upset about.
49
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:46,443
Are you the biggest idiot
to ever walk this Earth?
50
00:03:46,287 --> 00:03:50,126
Good morning.
What did I tell you to do, jackass?
51
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:55,122
Paint the kitchen, which I'm doing.
What kind of a moron paints it white?
52
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:58,702
Wanna see all the dirt?
What'd they teach you in college?
53
00:03:58,541 --> 00:04:03,340
I'm a high school dropout and I
used the paint that you left for me.
54
00:04:03,137 --> 00:04:06,536
I moved that paint so
you could get to the green, idiot.
55
00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:10,031
Do it over,
even if you're here all night! What?
56
00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:13,515
That paint you wasted is
coming out of your pay.
57
00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:16,641
I should paint it
the colour of your dye job.
58
00:04:21,518 --> 00:04:23,558
What?
He didn't say anything.
59
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:29,019
I said maybe I should paint it
the same colour as your dye job,
60
00:04:28,832 --> 00:04:33,232
you sagging, leathery,
hatchet-faced, dried-up old hag.
61
00:04:33,926 --> 00:04:38,925
Alright, college boy, you want it?
You got it! I'm gonna kick your ass!
62
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:43,591
Excuse me? I'm kickin' your ass.
Don't ever disrespect me like that.
63
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:47,023
You can't challenge her to a fight.
I didn't challenge anybody.
64
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,508
Hey, Lavernie's fightin' college boy!
65
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:53,476
(CHEERS) We've got an opening
Sunday at two before Mass.
66
00:04:53,303 --> 00:04:56,462
Sunday. Two o'clock.
Your ass, my foot.
67
00:04:56,328 --> 00:04:58,927
There's no way I'm fighting a woman!
68
00:04:58,817 --> 00:05:03,136
If I don't mind, why should you?
Oooooo! (ALL LAUGH)
69
00:05:02,953 --> 00:05:08,393
See what she did? She called him
a woman. It's gonna be a blood bath!
70
00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:29,330
You're right, Dewey. When was
the last time we played ball?
71
00:05:29,147 --> 00:05:34,146
I don't know.
Sometimes life gets away from you
72
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,973
and you forget the things
that are really important.
73
00:05:36,844 --> 00:05:39,084
AAARGH!! Egh!
74
00:05:40,099 --> 00:05:45,258
This is crazy. I have enough on my
mind without worrying about you!
75
00:05:45,039 --> 00:05:49,278
But, Mom - Don't leave this room.
I don't want to see or hear you.
76
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:53,898
I don't want to sense your presence.
For crying out loud, Reese,
77
00:05:53,694 --> 00:05:56,413
there's a mirror right there!
78
00:05:56,298 --> 00:06:00,378
Believe me, I am going
to watch that door like a hawk.
79
00:06:03,344 --> 00:06:06,943
What's her problem?
This can't be about mud.
80
00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:09,510
Something's going on.
What've you done lately?
81
00:06:09,395 --> 00:06:13,394
The Richardsons' fire,
the windshield, the Sampsons' fire,
82
00:06:13,224 --> 00:06:17,543
the Jacksons' fire.
Nothing she knows about. This sucks!
83
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,119
Well, if you can't do the time,
84
00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:22,802
don't do the crime. See ya Monday.
85
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:27,162
Hey, moron, do you know what tomorrow
night is? Christine Matson's party!
86
00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:31,851
That's this weekend? Yeah, and
her sister's bringing her friends.
87
00:06:31,644 --> 00:06:35,003
They tongue kiss
whether they like you or not!
88
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:39,740
It's shaking hands to them. It's
a cultural thing. We have to go!
89
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:43,732
Reese, if I show you a way we can go,
90
00:06:43,554 --> 00:06:47,713
do you promise never to let anyone
find out even though you're an idiot?
91
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:50,337
I swear.
OK.
92
00:06:51,941 --> 00:06:55,380
I was saving this for a life or death
emergency...
93
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,753
..or a really good party.
94
00:06:57,646 --> 00:07:00,406
Tell me!
95
00:07:04,578 --> 00:07:09,137
No way. We're not hitting Mom
with that! Reese, tomorrow night,
96
00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:13,382
we take out the floorboard and sneak
outside through the crawl space.
97
00:07:13,194 --> 00:07:18,833
Wow. Tunnelling out of our own room.
She can't lock us in any more.
98
00:07:18,594 --> 00:07:23,834
Mom's powerless. Yeah. Now she's
just a crazy old lady we live with.
99
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:47,341
Thanks, Dewey!
100
00:07:48,311 --> 00:07:51,830
It's Dewey. Let's hurt him,
fellow idiot.
101
00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:54,561
Yes. I hate him
for his handsomeness.
102
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,058
Aaaarrgh!
103
00:08:13,317 --> 00:08:15,516
Hi, Dewey.
Hi, Lance.
104
00:08:15,423 --> 00:08:19,302
Well, what do ya know?
It's Bernard. Let me see him.
105
00:08:19,138 --> 00:08:23,097
You can't have him.
That's alright. I can wait.
106
00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:25,608
Next week is my turn to have him.
107
00:08:25,495 --> 00:08:28,135
We're gonna have a lot of fun.
108
00:08:31,622 --> 00:08:35,061
You can't keep the hamster.
He belongs to the class.
109
00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:38,435
He won't be safe.
You take good care of him,
110
00:08:38,286 --> 00:08:42,045
but you have to share him.
Lance isn't my friend.
111
00:08:41,885 --> 00:08:45,765
He tore Billy's shirt off after
school and - (PHONE RINGS)
112
00:08:46,634 --> 00:08:49,393
Hello? Yes! This is he.
113
00:08:49,276 --> 00:08:51,955
He killed a frog
and brought it to school.
114
00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:57,522
Dewey, I said no! Do you want to be
grounded like your brothers? No.
115
00:08:59,156 --> 00:09:03,515
I've never seen her this worked up
for a fight. She's done this before?
116
00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:06,809
Since I've been here,
she's fought five guys.
117
00:09:06,662 --> 00:09:09,741
You're lucky you got some warning.
118
00:09:09,611 --> 00:09:11,850
Know Big Don?
The guy with one ear?
119
00:09:11,755 --> 00:09:16,034
Yeah. He was going to the privvy
and she dropped on him like a spider.
120
00:09:15,853 --> 00:09:20,292
What's wrong with her?
We were having a stupid argument.
121
00:09:20,104 --> 00:09:22,823
How did it turn into a fight?
It's how we settle things.
122
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:26,307
There are three other fights
tomorrow. Four.
123
00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:30,113
Ned cut in front of Daryl.
Well, I hate to disappoint you
124
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:33,344
but I'm not fighting Lavernia.
Really?
125
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,559
Are you sure?
No, he'll fight her.
126
00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:39,576
No, I won't.
Thank you!
127
00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:44,802
Fellas! It looks like we're having
a coward's cotillion. '(ALL CHEER)'
128
00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:47,253
I'll get the dogs ready.
I'll sharpen the pig-sticker.
129
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:49,259
What are you talking about?
130
00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:53,288
Fighting's the only entertainment
here. You've seen our TV reception.
131
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:57,993
If someone cheats the boys out of a
fight, there's a coward's cotillion.
132
00:09:57,786 --> 00:10:02,425
What the hell is a coward's
cotillion? It's always different.
133
00:10:02,228 --> 00:10:05,187
You never know what animal
the blood will attract.
134
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:09,501
My choices are to fight a woman
or the stupid cotillion thing?
135
00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:12,872
Well,... there's always the...
136
00:10:12,721 --> 00:10:14,921
..Howdy Stranger.
137
00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:42,157
How can they make us wait
another 24 hours?
138
00:10:42,054 --> 00:10:46,374
They're short-handed at the lab.
Don't they realise it's your life?
139
00:10:51,589 --> 00:10:55,708
Don't worry. This is for the best.
I'm setting you free.
140
00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:59,374
You won't have to worry
about anyone being mean any more.
141
00:11:00,895 --> 00:11:05,215
Come on, Bernard.
Run. Run like the wind.
142
00:11:10,047 --> 00:11:14,607
You have to do this, Bernard.
It's for your own good.
143
00:11:15,447 --> 00:11:17,847
I'll be OK.
144
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:26,841
Go on!
I don't want you any more.
145
00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:29,946
I don't like you. I never did!
146
00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:35,813
Go on!
Go on, you dumb old hamster.
147
00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:44,591
Bye, Bernard.
148
00:11:55,044 --> 00:11:59,683
Booby trapped? A broom handle tied
to a string of tin cans. A classic.
149
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:03,565
If Mom trusted us, I think
she'd be pleasantly surprised.
150
00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:07,552
Yeah. We're basically good kids.
She's so unreasonable.
151
00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:12,992
Are you almost ready?
Just a sec. Will you come on?
152
00:12:22,195 --> 00:12:25,395
If anyone asks,
I'm in junior college.
153
00:12:27,518 --> 00:12:29,958
< (SCUFFLING)
154
00:13:05,813 --> 00:13:08,293
Hi, boys.
155
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:19,006
You don't know how lucky you are.
Everything is new.
156
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:23,032
Everything is open to you. Please,
don't ever take that for granted.
157
00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:27,333
Make every moment
the best you possibly can.
158
00:13:27,143 --> 00:13:31,223
God, I am so proud of all of you.
159
00:13:33,462 --> 00:13:36,742
You kids are the best thing
I've ever done.
160
00:13:39,015 --> 00:13:41,735
You'll never know
how much I love you.
161
00:13:44,644 --> 00:13:48,604
Maybe you're not supposed to.
(SNIFFS)
162
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:53,196
Sleep well, my little angels.
163
00:13:53,069 --> 00:13:55,228
(BOOM!)
Aaaaargh! Aaaaaarrrgghhh!
164
00:13:55,137 --> 00:13:58,417
Aaaaaaarrgh!!
Aaaaaarrgh!!
165
00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:01,775
'(BOTH SCREAM)'
166
00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:06,924
Amazing! I made out with a sophomore.
I'm so far ahead of schedule.
167
00:14:06,702 --> 00:14:10,582
Did you see the TV fly off
the roof into the pool? That was me.
168
00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:18,421
I hope we get grounded next weekend.
169
00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:24,176
'(BOTH SCREAM)'
170
00:14:26,692 --> 00:14:30,331
How dare you?!
How dare you defy us like that?!
171
00:14:30,177 --> 00:14:34,176
We wouldn't have if you weren't so
hard over a little mud on the floor!
172
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:38,045
You two are the most ungrateful,
badly behaved, inconsiderate boys
173
00:14:37,874 --> 00:14:42,513
ever born! How could you be
so heartless? What's heartless
174
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:46,075
about going to a party with
a bunch of slutty girls? Be cool.
175
00:14:45,916 --> 00:14:51,075
You were at a party?! While we were
here worrying?! Can I have a napkin?
176
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:55,535
I cannot believe you two!
Alright. That's it!
177
00:14:55,336 --> 00:14:59,575
You're grounded for the rest of
the school year! You can't do that!
178
00:14:59,396 --> 00:15:04,315
You're crazy! You do not talk
to your mother that way ever!
179
00:15:04,106 --> 00:15:08,505
You'll show her the love and respect
she deserves whether I'm here or not!
180
00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:12,838
This family sucks! You are ruining
our lives! I wish you were dead!
181
00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:26,602
What was that all about? She usually
just says, "I'm taking you with me."
182
00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:33,469
I want to tell you something.
We'll talk at two.
183
00:15:33,325 --> 00:15:35,924
I'm gonna tell you this right now.
184
00:15:35,814 --> 00:15:39,933
I hate your guts. You're the most
horrible person I've ever met.
185
00:15:39,758 --> 00:15:44,038
You are mean, sadistic, twisted and
spiteful. And I owe you an apology.
186
00:15:45,196 --> 00:15:50,115
What I said was a cheap shot
about your looks
187
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,947
and you don't deserve that.
No-one deserves that.
188
00:15:53,277 --> 00:15:56,996
You're right. Thank you.
189
00:15:56,838 --> 00:16:01,037
What the hell are we doing this for
anyway? This won't solve anything.
190
00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:03,898
We're just putting on a show
for idiots.
191
00:16:03,769 --> 00:16:06,768
If you think you
have to prove something
192
00:16:06,641 --> 00:16:10,280
because you're a woman, you don't.
You came and built
193
00:16:10,126 --> 00:16:14,005
a successful business in this awful
place. You have accomplished plenty.
194
00:16:13,841 --> 00:16:18,680
Oh, my God! You're coming on to me!
What?
195
00:16:18,475 --> 00:16:23,594
Peddle your sugar to somebody else,
cos this bee ain't buyin'. What?!
196
00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:27,375
The last thing I need is some young
punk frolicking in my nethers.
197
00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:31,326
You don't listen t...
I try to talk to you... Ew!
198
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:37,886
Do you hear anything?
Mom's still crying.
199
00:16:37,737 --> 00:16:42,856
Did she ever go to sleep? At 3 she
went from sobbing to a quiet whimper.
200
00:16:42,639 --> 00:16:45,238
She's just trying to psych us out!
201
00:16:45,128 --> 00:16:50,407
I don't think so. When was the last
time you heard Dad yell and Mom cry?
202
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,902
You're right.
Something weird is going on.
203
00:16:52,787 --> 00:16:56,747
They've been whispering a lot, too.
I just figured it out.
204
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:01,540
Oh, no. Oh, no!
205
00:17:05,999 --> 00:17:08,199
(CHEERING)
206
00:17:12,892 --> 00:17:15,931
I've never seen her like this.
What do you expect?
207
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:18,921
The boy tried
to jump in bed with her!
208
00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:21,828
Dude, she's killing you!
Do something.
209
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:25,379
I will not hit a woman.
Then, here. Take this.
210
00:17:25,223 --> 00:17:28,022
What is it?
A screwdriver. Jab and twist.
211
00:17:27,903 --> 00:17:30,903
I'm not using the screwd... Aaargh!
212
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:38,738
Fight. Ugh!
Back. Ugh!
213
00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:44,369
Ease up on him.
His only crime was loving you.
214
00:17:44,179 --> 00:17:47,898
Ugh! You disgust me.
You better run home to Mama,
215
00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:52,539
so she can kiss your tears away and
make you cocoa and tell you - Ugh!
216
00:17:52,335 --> 00:17:54,574
Yeah! Yeah! (CHEERING)
217
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,239
My mother's a tormented
control freak.
218
00:17:57,122 --> 00:18:00,881
It would never occur to her
to make me cocoa!
219
00:18:00,722 --> 00:18:03,241
(SPITS / PING!)
220
00:18:03,135 --> 00:18:05,095
(CHEERING)
221
00:18:12,249 --> 00:18:17,848
You're going down, college boy.
Bring it on, you toad.
222
00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:19,610
(CHEERING)
223
00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:55,911
Yeah! Yeah!
(WHISTLING / CHEERING)
224
00:18:56,633 --> 00:19:00,593
Ned. Daryl. You're up.
Somebody help me clear this floor.
225
00:19:09,461 --> 00:19:11,861
Alright. I'll get the camera.
226
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:19,884
If anyone at school asks,
your name's Bernard.
227
00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:22,684
You like carrots
and having your tummy scratched.
228
00:19:25,852 --> 00:19:30,371
'No. We've been waiting for hours.
Now please give us the information.'
229
00:19:30,179 --> 00:19:35,699
Negative?! Negative! That's
a good one, right? Yes, thank you.
230
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:45,326
If Mom does a load of blankets
I'll bring you a friend.
231
00:19:46,569 --> 00:19:51,088
Oh!
Mom. Dad. We have something to say.
232
00:19:50,897 --> 00:19:54,776
We know why you've been crying.
You don't have to protect us.
233
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:58,370
We think getting a divorce
is a great idea. What?
234
00:19:58,211 --> 00:20:02,530
You don't have to stay together.
We've known for years it was a sham.
235
00:20:02,347 --> 00:20:04,346
Your relationship isn't working.
236
00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:08,020
Mom needs a man who'll control her
and Dad needs someone younger.
237
00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:13,101
You both deserve some happiness.
I think we all do. Amen to that.
238
00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:16,429
We should go to a motel with Dad.
239
00:20:16,324 --> 00:20:20,163
Our bags are packed.
Mom, you're still part of our lives.
240
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:23,161
We'll see you every other weekend.
Call us any time.
241
00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:29,118
We've already discussed it.
242
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,760
I get full custody.
243
00:20:31,810 --> 00:20:36,360
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
20949
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.