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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,559
Come back here!
2
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,034
[tires screeching]
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,171
We were cleaned out.
We've been hit.
4
00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:10,175
Nobody hits a lady.
5
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,177
Anybody got your rent?
6
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,440
Have you ever thought about
trying to buy the place?
7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,072
Why don't you
go back to work?
8
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:17,541
[exclaiming]
9
00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:26,216
lt wasn't my fault.
Some jerk put the beer-- ln the aisle.
10
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,620
(Magnum)Somebody once describedgreat art...
11
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,486
as ""an improvementon perfection. ""
12
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:08,619
I can"t rememberif it was Picasso or Higgins.
13
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:12,028
I feItthe satisfaction of the artistwith my improvement...
14
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:14,692
on the simpIe perfectionof the beer can.
15
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:18,202
This wasn"t just a stackof cheap six-packs.Here we had...
16
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:21,866
A study in
Day-N-Dark Extra Light by T. Magnum...
17
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:23,537
signed and dated.
18
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,044
(Heather)
Magnum, that'll last about 10 minutes.
19
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,738
You've got the beer
curving out into the aisle...
20
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,215
where some klutz
is bound to knock it over.
21
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:34,185
Look, Magnum,
if you must play at being an employee...
22
00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:35,881
at least try to be convincing.
23
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,890
Okay, fine,
so you don't like me being here, fine...
24
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,550
but don't blow my cover.
25
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,586
l'm doing my best
to look legit.
26
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,893
Legit Day-N-Dark employees
do not waste their time...
27
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:48,365
trying to make beer cans
look like Rodin.
28
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:51,130
Rodin? You really think
it's that good?
29
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:52,796
[Heather sighing]
l really think...
30
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:55,340
that l am really upset
that our corporate brains...
31
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:58,673
chose to put a beach boy
turned private eye into my store.
32
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,804
Now, hold on. l am--
That l cannot change.
33
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,313
But, l can remind you...
34
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,714
that you were not commissioned
to do a sculpture...
35
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,582
you were hired to investigate
the robberies.
36
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,713
So, investigate.
37
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,017
[beer cans crashing]
38
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,354
[beer flowing]
39
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:23,762
lt wasn't my fault.
Some jerk put the beer-- ln the aisle.
40
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,736
Yes, l know.
41
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:30,065
Get the mop, Magnum.
Your sculpture's leaking.
42
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:34,511
l want
a strawberry cup-a-dream.
43
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,575
Please.
44
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:38,711
Please.
45
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,256
[whirring]
46
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,396
And some more quarters.
47
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,134
[cash register dings]
48
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,503
Have a nice day.
49
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:09,612
[car horn honking]
No, wait! Come back with my quarters.
50
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:13,015
[car tires screeching]
51
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,716
Come back here!
52
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,050
[car horn honking]
53
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:19,885
Jeanie,
look what you're doing.
54
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,688
What's he doing?
55
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:34,499
Are you all right?
Anybody hurt? Oh, no, no. We're fine.
56
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:37,769
[gasping]
What have they done to my display?
57
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:41,473
Oh, it's not their fault.
lt's the kid and that guy in the Street Rod.
58
00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:43,947
Are you ladies all right?
Should l call an ambulance?
59
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:47,885
Oh, no. No, we're all right.
l'm awfully sorry. l meant to hit the brake.
60
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:51,453
You're getting all wet.
Oh, well....
61
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:54,049
Look, if you'll take care
of the ladies, l'll go call the police.
62
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,355
Police?
63
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:58,659
Nobody is going anywhere,
until l find out who's responsible for this.
64
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:02,895
l told you, the guy with the--
We are taking the total responsibility.
65
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,960
Oh, you don't have to do that.
lt's not your fault.
66
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,471
Did you get
a license number?
67
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:08,268
No, the guy peeled out
of here-- Oh!
68
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,638
Look, Miss Wilcox...
69
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:13,645
it was
a 1969 Camaro Street Rod, electric blue.
70
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:15,340
Now, how many of those
are there on the island?
71
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,542
No, wait. l think the car
was green.
72
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:21,109
Yes, l'm sure of it.
Teal would be more precise, Madge.
73
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:22,586
(Magnum)
No, it was blue.
74
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,350
That--that loud
glow-in-the-dark paint.
75
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,393
(Jeanie)
l think it just looked blue in the sunlight.
76
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,886
Teal has a funny way of--
Name?
77
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:32,857
What are you doing?
78
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,958
l have to fill out a report
for Day-N-Dark. lt's procedure.
79
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,059
Procedure?
80
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,627
Miss Wilcox,
we're getting drenched out here.
81
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,571
(Jeanie)
LaSalle. What?
82
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,636
LaSalle. Our name.
83
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:47,874
(Jeanie)
Capital L-A-- l know how to spell it.
84
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:50,609
Miss Wilcox, you take care
of the really important stuff.
85
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,550
l'm gonna call
the water department and get that thing shut off...
86
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:56,611
then l'm gonna
call the police before the guy in the Camaro--
87
00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,284
Are you sure it was a Camaro?
All these cars look so much alike.
88
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,920
l'm sure.
Of course, you're sure.
89
00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:06,089
But it doesn't really matter
because we're taking total responsibility...
90
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:09,464
for all of the damages.
Good. Name of insurance company?
91
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:13,995
Do you think you could
call us a taxi? l think the engine's flooded.
92
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,305
(Magnum)
Look, don't you worry about a thing.
93
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,839
l'm going to personally
see to it that we find that guy with the Street Rod.
94
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:25,941
Oh, no, no.
95
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:28,418
Now, we've decided
that we're not really sure...
96
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,581
about the make of the car...
97
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:34,558
and, besides, we don't want
to get involved with anything awkward.
98
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:35,787
But it wasn't
your fault...
99
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:38,160
and you don't have to
get involved. l'll be discreet.
100
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,529
See,
l'm a private investigator.
101
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,831
Bless your heart.
What?
102
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,836
Don't give up your dreams.
103
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,635
Madge wanted to be
a ballerina, l wanted to be a pilot.
104
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:52,838
You want to be
a private investigator, be a private investigator.
105
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,245
No, no, no.
Listen, 19 of those Day-N-Dark stores...
106
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:59,773
have been robbed
in the last three months. No M.O., no clues, no nothing.
107
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,514
They just turn around,
and the money is gone.
108
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,522
So l'm there to investigate.
109
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,922
That's what investigators do,
you understand?
110
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,517
(Jeanie)
Of course.
111
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,061
Only don't let it interfere
with your job.
112
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:15,866
♪♪[piano playing]
113
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:18,795
(Jeanie)
Well....
114
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:24,570
This is it.
lt's quite a mess.
115
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:28,306
But, then, old troupers
are used to roughing it.
116
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,370
(Magnum)
Troupers?
117
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:33,283
Nearly all of us here
were in the business. Entertainers.
118
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:37,880
Jeanie and l were
actresses for a while. Can't you come in
119
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,585
Oh, no, l've got to get back.
Oh, just for five minutes?
120
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:41,786
For milk and cookies?
121
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:45,058
We'd love
to give you something for bringing us home.
122
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,758
Well, five minutes.
123
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:47,959
[chuckling]
124
00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:01,774
Hello, everybody.
Jeanie, did you get him?
125
00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:03,006
Yes.
126
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:07,044
Johnny, at least you could
comment on our news.
127
00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:10,611
We wrecked the car.
Okay. Okay.
128
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,055
[man chattering on TV]
129
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,820
Oh, Herman,
here's your music.
130
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,359
♪♪[playing piano]
131
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,962
[exclaiming]
l got Larry Parrish. That's the whole team.
132
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:27,198
[chuckling]
133
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,867
Texas Ranger fan?
(Johnnie) Parrish.
134
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:32,172
l've been trying to get
this card for months.
135
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,476
lt's too bad
we didn't meet sooner. l've got two Parrishes.
136
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,175
You got any Tigers
up for trade?
137
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,844
Are you kidding?
Who collects Detroit?
138
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,355
Wait a minute.
l collect Detroit. Then you got a problem.
139
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:50,026
All right. l'll save you
my Detroit stuff. Thanks.
140
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:53,464
How can they get the nerve
to call this ''The Game of the Week''?
141
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,660
Seattle versus Minnesota.
142
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,329
Dull, but never mind.
143
00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,702
My kid's sending me the money
to get cable.
144
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:03,765
Oh, Johnny, it came.
145
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:07,836
The money from your son.
Really?
146
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,909
l don't suppose
he sent you your rent?
147
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:18,487
Anybody got your rent?
148
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,256
Rent money?
149
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:24,085
Just one of you.
lt'll make my day.
150
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,169
Oh, no. Mr. Cole, please.
151
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:36,003
This is right on half a month,
Johnny.
152
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,633
You're still a month
and a half behind...
153
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,541
and he's the closest
to being paid up.
154
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:42,206
l guess you're the landlord?
(Harvey) No, l'm not the landlord.
155
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,545
l'm Harvey Cole,
the agent for the owners.
156
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,279
Who are trying to sell
this place right out from under us.
157
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:50,254
They're not even gonna
carry you that long. The owners have decided...
158
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,382
that they would rather have
the place empty...
159
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:55,359
than to pay the electric bill
for a bunch of deadbeats.
160
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:59,558
You all have till after
the Labor Day weekend to get paid up...
161
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:02,931
or hit the street.
Mr. Cole, no.
162
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,937
That's only three days.
Three and a half...
163
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:09,500
and between you all,
you owe $1,800.
164
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:10,903
$1,750.
165
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,707
Come on, Harvey,
that's his cable money.
166
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,406
They don't hook up cable
to a park bench...
167
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,176
which is where
he's gonna be on Tuesday.
168
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:20,844
l'll save you the trouble
of telling the rest of the sponges.
169
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,547
[gasping]
170
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:25,985
[ladies laughing]
171
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:30,627
What a dump!
172
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:32,994
No wonder, they can't sell it.
173
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,794
♪♪[Herman playing
an ominous tune]
174
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,601
(Harvey)
l hear that.
175
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:45,171
Jeanie...
176
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:49,040
do any of you have
the back rent money?
177
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:53,051
Tommy,
you're being indelicate. No. l'm being realistic.
178
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,984
How do you expect to pay,
for the damages you did...
179
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,919
when you're having
trouble meeting the rent?
180
00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,186
Tommy, we have
auto insurance.
181
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,819
We do not have
rent insurance.
182
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,419
Now, really, this is
none of your affair...
183
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,124
so why don't you go
back to the store...
184
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:08,792
before somebody misses you.
Now, come on.
185
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,529
Go on, Tommy, go.
186
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,340
(Magnum)I feIt as if I"d just beento my famiIy reunion.
187
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,306
I knew everybodyin that hoteI roomby a different name.
188
00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:20,811
Even Harvey, reminded meof my UncIe Richie...
189
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,179
kind of the bIack sheepof our famiIy who madehis Iiving pIaying cards.
190
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,845
Anyway,even though Madge and Jeaniehad an unerring knack...
191
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,855
for making me feeIIike a 10-year-oId,I wanted to heIp them out.
192
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,357
I mean,everybody shouId do their bitin a famiIy crisis.
193
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,589
So, I spentthe rest of the daydriving by garages...
194
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,630
that serviced high-performanceStreet Rods.
195
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,527
I know what you"re thinking,and you"re right.
196
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:46,696
My chances of running acrossthat car werenext to impossibIe...
197
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:49,104
but my UncIe RichieaIways toId me...
198
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:51,643
""Expect to get Iuckyand you wiII. ""
199
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,485
Hey, man...
200
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,113
don't mess with my car.
201
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:07,216
Your car? Were you
at the Day-N-Dark on Kuhio?
202
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,175
[car engine starting]
203
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:30,980
[car tires screeching]
204
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,519
♪♪[piano playing]
205
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:49,493
(Jeanie)
Tommy, it's quite theatrical, but not very logical.
206
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,729
Jeanie....
l don't think the man in the teal car...
207
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:55,001
meant to harm you in any way.
Jeanie, please...
208
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,867
would you mind
not calling me Tommy?
209
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,538
Tommy is a little boy
with an all-day sucker.
210
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:07,109
Tommy, please. Please, dear,
come and sit down.
211
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,778
[man chattering on TV]
212
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,722
Your career goals
are important to you.
213
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,695
You know,
your detective thing.
214
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:19,458
So, it's quite
understandable...
215
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,194
that you wish to turn
a harmless prank...
216
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:25,531
into a television drama.
lt wasn't a prank.
217
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:27,299
(Magnum)
The guy who caused your accident just--
218
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,638
Gave you a bad paint job.
Yes, you've said that.
219
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:34,145
So, did you ask the owner
of the garage...
220
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:37,205
if he knew the man
in the teal car? Blue. lt was blue...
221
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,944
and there was no one else
there.
222
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,043
Then you should have waited
for someone to come back.
223
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:45,284
Why come here?
Because l thought you might be interested.
224
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:49,225
Fine, fine, never mind.
lt doesn't matter.
225
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,293
Because
l have the license number...
226
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,229
of the Street Rod
and l'll just....
227
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,125
Wait a minute.
228
00:13:57,236 --> 00:14:00,637
[chuckling]
lt was ''M.'' M-E...
229
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:02,869
M-E-A....
230
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:04,973
♪♪[piano continues playing]
231
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:07,807
Herman!
232
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:15,944
The carpenter will be here
at 10:00 on Monday to fix the stair railing.
233
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:20,149
Don't want anyone
to hurt yourself when you're moving your stuff out.
234
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,956
l'm deadly serious, people.
Tuesday.
235
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:28,296
This receipt for the $50
l got yesterday, Wells.
236
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:31,734
l was wrong. You're still
two months behind.
237
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,167
[snorts]
238
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:42,773
Wells? No wonder,
he's a Texas Ranger fan.
239
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,214
Johnnie, you know,
the Rangers are okay, but...
240
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,920
l lived in Virginia...
241
00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:55,254
and l don't think l ever
got over the Senators leaving Washington.
242
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,589
Oh, come on.
243
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:59,563
The wisest thing they ever did
was moving the franchise to Texas.
244
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,862
The Senators were
never great. No.
245
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,426
No, but they had some
pretty good ball players over the years.
246
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:10,407
Walter Johnson, Frank Howard,
Mickey Vernon and a second baseman...
247
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:11,966
named Johnnie Wells.
248
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,470
l saw you play.
249
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,110
lt was June 10, 1952.
250
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:21,084
lt was the second
major league game l ever saw.
251
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,178
Did l have a good day?
''O'' for four.
252
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,053
But you got on twice.
lt was an error and a walk...
253
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,184
and you--you pulled off
a couple of miraculous steals.
254
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,093
That was the year you led
the league with 46. You hit 381 .
255
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,758
No, no, no. 281 .
l never hit over 300.
256
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,301
Johnnie, l got your card.
lt's on the back.
257
00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:39,303
You got that card?
Yeah.
258
00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:43,831
That's the one. The misprint.
lt says 381 instead of 2.
259
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:47,606
Oh, man, are you lucky.
That little jewel's worth over $50.
260
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,778
l sold mine last year.
261
00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,815
[maIe commentatorchattering on TV]
262
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:54,179
You sold your own card?
Yeah.
263
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:59,582
For $50 worth
of spending money, huh, l should be sentimental?
264
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:03,153
[crowd cheering on TV]
Diabetes. Every little bit helps.
265
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,958
Whee!
Another home run.
266
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,363
Girls...
267
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,467
how long has this place
been on the market?
268
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,734
Almost a year.
269
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:20,074
Which means it's not exactly
the hottest listing in town, am l right?
270
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,271
So...
271
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:25,447
have you ever thought about
trying to buy the place?
272
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:29,351
Tommy, what a nice suggestion.
Why don't you go back to work?
273
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:30,615
No, no, just listen to me.
274
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:35,558
You have to come up
with $1,800 by Tuesday, regardless, right?
275
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:38,095
So, instead of using the money
for the rent...
276
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,755
you just walk in,
make a viable bid...
277
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,063
with earnest money,
and the owners are bound to jump at it.
278
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:47,469
With business logic like that,
you'll never be President of Day-N-Dark.
279
00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:49,338
lt could work.
280
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,341
We're all on rigid
fixed incomes here.
281
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,640
And we're not fund raisers.
282
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,141
Would you like to meet a guy
who is?
283
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,844
(Higgins)
LaSalle, that name seems so familiar to me.
284
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:07,358
Of course we do carry the name
of a famous French explorer...
285
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,792
and of a very fine car.
286
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,729
Both dead for some years now.
287
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:16,429
Yes, of course.
Well....
288
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,602
But, we've never met?
289
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:23,672
Oh, l'm sorry, no.
l feel confident we would remember.
290
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,139
Yes, of course.
291
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:29,613
Ladies, let me just say
that l am most sympathetic to your plight.
292
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:32,206
However, Magnum's suggestion
that we hold a Bingo Bazaar...
293
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:36,584
on the Robin Masters' estate
is out of the question, l'm afraid.
294
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,952
Of course, Mr. Higgins.
295
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:43,051
We tried to talk him
out of it, but Tommy does get so excited.
296
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,255
Yes, l'm well aware of that.
297
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:49,057
Now if we could stage an event
with a proper decorum...
298
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,125
perhaps a bridge tournament
at the Yacht Club--
299
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:53,501
One! One.
300
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:57,071
M-E-A 1 . Two more to go.
301
00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:01,010
Oh, dear, are we back
to the man in the hot Rod again?
302
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,379
Tommy, wouldn't you like
to go outside and play?
303
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:07,808
[exclaiming]
304
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,651
What a beautiful volume.
Poetry?
305
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,325
No, it's nothing really.
Just a little diary l keep.
306
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,725
Wonderful penmanship.
307
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:22,831
The Crisis in the Suez
by Jonathan Quayle Higgins.
308
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,195
Just a little diary?
Well....
309
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:29,969
Yes, l do like to jot down
my past remembrances from time to time.
310
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:33,569
My husband was in the Suez
during the trouble there.
311
00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:36,543
Good heavens,
what was his name? (Madge)
312
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:38,447
My God.
313
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,245
He had that effect
on many people.
314
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,445
[Higgins chuckling]
315
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,886
l only knew your husband
by reputation.
316
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,686
But Gordon Archer
was legendary in his own time.
317
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,827
(Madge)
l was very proud of him.
318
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:52,894
And we had
such wonderful times together.
319
00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:56,565
l remember one particularly
exciting experience...
320
00:18:56,635 --> 00:19:00,799
crossing the Zambezi,
just north of the Mozambique Channel.
321
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,808
Archer was risking everything
to take me to safety.
322
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:04,900
Madge....
323
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,468
Magnum, how incredibly rude,
even for you.
324
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:10,572
l'm sorry, Madge,
but it's Saturday.
325
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,879
We have to raise the money
by Tuesday.
326
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:15,511
Madge tells stories
like you tell stories, Higgins.
327
00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:16,747
One story apiece...
328
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,483
and we're non-stop
into Wednesday afternoon.
329
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,321
lt is impossible to arrange
a bridge tournament by Tuesday.
330
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:23,861
So, invite the same
philanthropic people...
331
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:27,387
who play ''tax deductible''
bridge over to play ''tax deductible'' bingo.
332
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:30,162
The only difference
will be instead of trumping or bidding...
333
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:33,432
you put cute little kernels
of corn on a piece of paper.
334
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:34,767
Please?
335
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:40,271
Even though l never met
Gordon Archer, we stood inches apart one evening...
336
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,279
as we fought
for our very lives.
337
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,872
Higgins! Tuesday.
338
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:48,784
Magnum, we will have
the bingo gala, Monday afternoon at 1 :00.
339
00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:52,218
Now, please go
and find something to do.
340
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:56,392
[computer keys clacking]
341
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,471
Thank you.
Keep that Day-N-Dark smile.
342
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,752
(T.C.)
Pickled egg, please?
343
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:28,355
T.C., no.
344
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,086
Come on, can't you come up
with another joke?
345
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,063
l mean, three days in a row.
346
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:35,656
Besides, you know
l hate to fish those stinky things out.
347
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,168
l hate them.
Pickled egg, please.
348
00:20:57,222 --> 00:21:00,521
What the hell are you doing?
We have a store full of customers.
349
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:04,084
Why aren't you
watching them? Because l'm watching this,
350
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,789
Please, not now.
351
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,096
[sighing]
There.
352
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:16,338
$.59.
353
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:20,411
How stupid of me.
l must've forgotten my wallet.
354
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:27,443
T.C.!
355
00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:30,546
[sighing]
356
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,180
Come back here.
357
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:33,885
Magnum.
358
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,120
[sighing]
359
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,556
Fifty-nine cents.
360
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:43,027
Come on, guys,
cut the fifth grade comedy routine.
361
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,592
Day-N-Dark was hit
for the 20th time this morning.
362
00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:47,605
Here?
No, not here. l was here.
363
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:51,109
lt was store number 27
on the Lia. The same as usual.
364
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:53,542
The cash register
was emptied out without a clue...
365
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:54,840
the customers were clean.
366
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:58,747
Well, l guess, you got to get
to the other stores more often, T.M.
367
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,949
That's it. Great cover.
368
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:04,355
You can drop into
any Day-N-Night...
369
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,516
as the official
pickled egg pronger.
370
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:11,559
That's cute, T.C. Real cute.
Rick, what about lce Pick?
371
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:13,996
What about him?
Well, Ronnie's speed shop?
372
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,660
You promised me
he'd lean on the owner, for info on his employees.
373
00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:18,965
Thomas, lce Pick
wants a fee.
374
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,139
How much?
Well, it's really nothing.
375
00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:23,674
He just wants an invite
to your bingo game. What?
376
00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:26,404
Oh, come on, Thomas,
it means a lot to lce Pick.
377
00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:28,412
He used to be a bingo caller
in the old days...
378
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,641
and he wants to be seen
at a function like this.
379
00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:33,947
No, not lce Pick.
Rick, this is strictly a class event.
380
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,182
You know, the Higgins Hot 100.
Okay, just forget it.
381
00:22:37,255 --> 00:22:39,815
No lce Pick invite,
no info.
382
00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:43,919
Follow that car.
383
00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:45,257
[tires screeching]
384
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:46,924
Right!
385
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,260
[tires screeching]
386
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:53,365
And Rick.... Hey, Rick!
Rick, l wanna go with you!
387
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:56,401
You don't know why
l want you to follow him!
388
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:57,601
Rick!
389
00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:58,765
[grunts]
390
00:23:10,655 --> 00:23:13,146
l want four quarters...
391
00:23:13,258 --> 00:23:15,852
and the price of a tank full
of Strawberry Dream.
392
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:19,658
l wasn't stealing
from the jar. l was just making change.
393
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:22,165
Oh, yeah?
How do you make change for four cents?
394
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,565
Magnum?
What?
395
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:24,932
l've got the little thief.
396
00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:25,992
[groaning]
397
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:28,737
(Magnum)
No, you don't.
398
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:29,933
[grunting]
399
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:31,569
Pay up.
400
00:23:32,644 --> 00:23:33,804
[groaning]
401
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:36,771
Please, mister.
Don't hit me anymore.
402
00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:39,043
l'll do anything you say,
but just don't hit me.
403
00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:40,641
Hey, you hit the kid?
404
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:42,448
No, of course not.
405
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:45,556
Yes, he did, sir,
but it wasn't his fault.
406
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:50,357
l was stealing
for my pregnant sister. She's got nothing to eat.
407
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,262
Oh, come on.
Did you hit the kid?
408
00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:54,821
No, he hit me.
409
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,194
Magnum!
(Magnum) What?
410
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,259
This is the sister?
No.
411
00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,133
Miss Wilcox, will you
please explain to him...
412
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:01,729
that l did not hit this brat.
What?
413
00:24:01,807 --> 00:24:03,604
(Heather)
We've been robbed. Where'd he go? What?
414
00:24:03,675 --> 00:24:06,143
Hey, Skeeter,
got a real pervert here.
415
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:07,610
He hits kids.
416
00:24:07,679 --> 00:24:11,672
With you standing right here
solving the cookie jar crime, we were cleaned out.
417
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:14,583
The cash register's empty.
We've been hit.
418
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:19,457
You hit the kid and the lady?
Of course not. Nobody hit anybody.
419
00:24:19,524 --> 00:24:21,424
(Heather)
Yes, we were. Just now.
420
00:24:23,829 --> 00:24:28,528
Nobody hits a lady.
He bothers you again, you come and see me.
421
00:24:30,535 --> 00:24:32,969
Well, l hope
you're satisfied.
422
00:24:33,038 --> 00:24:36,496
You've made
a mess of everything. Me?
423
00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:39,203
Wait a minute, will you?
Just hold all the customers...
424
00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:40,676
l'll question them.
425
00:24:40,745 --> 00:24:43,270
Surprise.
There's nobody in there.
426
00:24:58,563 --> 00:25:00,394
(Magnum)FaiIure"s a funny thing.
427
00:25:00,465 --> 00:25:02,626
A baby Iearns to waIkby faIIing down.
428
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:05,302
A chiId Iearns to swimby aImost drowning.
429
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:08,871
And what kid hits the baIIthe first timehe swings a bat?
430
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,200
Aha!
431
00:25:10,876 --> 00:25:13,470
So, why is it thatthe oIder we get...
432
00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:16,378
the harder it is to deaIwith the Iessons of faiIure?
433
00:25:16,448 --> 00:25:20,646
Right after the robbery,the Day-N-Dark head officeadvised me...
434
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,380
that I was fired.
435
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:26,847
But I stiII had some peopIewho were counting on me...
436
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:29,860
incIuding a great base steaIerin a squeeze.
437
00:25:31,563 --> 00:25:34,623
It made the momentary faiIureeasier to handIe.
438
00:25:38,003 --> 00:25:39,163
[door opening]
439
00:25:39,671 --> 00:25:43,038
Magnum, there you are.
We've run into a bit of a snag, l'm afraid.
440
00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:45,872
Higgins,
this is much more important than your Bingo Bazaar.
441
00:25:45,944 --> 00:25:47,536
There's a problem
with the bingo party?
442
00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:49,876
Nothing
that can't be resolved. Thomas....
443
00:25:49,948 --> 00:25:52,382
Just a second.
You are still planning on having it?
444
00:25:52,450 --> 00:25:55,248
Of course, but Agatha's
having difficulty finding the corn kernels...
445
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,651
for the bingo tokens.
446
00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,656
l risk life and limb
to get this license plate number for you...
447
00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:02,056
and you wanna talk corn?
You got the number?
448
00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:04,061
l lost him halfway to Pearl,
but l got it.
449
00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:06,689
Agatha came up with
what l consider a charming suggestion.
450
00:26:06,765 --> 00:26:08,858
Simple little pearl buttons.
That's wrong.
451
00:26:08,934 --> 00:26:10,458
l think ''wrong''
is a bit of an overstatement.
452
00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:12,765
l know you were very specific
in requesting corn. Maize.
453
00:26:12,837 --> 00:26:15,863
But l think the buttons
would do quite nicely. No, no.
454
00:26:15,941 --> 00:26:18,501
You chased the wrong car.
Oh, sure. lt's my fault.
455
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,943
Maybe the guy changed plates,
or maybe he's got a matching set...
456
00:26:21,012 --> 00:26:22,240
of '69 Street Rods.
457
00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:25,647
All l know is,
this is the number of the car you told me to follow.
458
00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:27,412
lmitation pearl, of course.
They're relatively--
459
00:26:27,485 --> 00:26:29,419
All right, you're right.
Splendid.
460
00:26:29,487 --> 00:26:31,785
There's gotta be
an explanation. l don't think
461
00:26:31,856 --> 00:26:34,984
l'll call Agatha right away.
Oh, yeah, Higgins. You take care of that.
462
00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:38,188
Listen, can you get me
the registration? How am l supposed to do that?
463
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:39,321
lce Pick.
464
00:26:39,397 --> 00:26:42,025
l'm afraid he didn't get
an invitation to the Bingo game.
465
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,465
Higgins. Higgins.
466
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:48,334
You really do have to invite
a fellow named lce Pick to the party.
467
00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:50,738
l'm terribly sorry,
but the guest list is complete...
468
00:26:50,809 --> 00:26:52,902
and l'm not familiar
with the name lce Pick.
469
00:26:52,978 --> 00:26:56,004
A pseudonym for a shy patron?
Yeah, something like that.
470
00:26:56,081 --> 00:26:58,572
He's from an old,
established Chicago family...
471
00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:01,084
and he's willing to make
a sizeable donation.
472
00:27:01,152 --> 00:27:03,416
Really? Which family?
473
00:27:03,488 --> 00:27:06,787
Their name is very respected.
They're big in cement.
474
00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:11,862
Just have him here at 1 :00
in formal attire.
475
00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:15,024
Now, if you will both
excuse me...
476
00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:18,331
l have something
really important to take care of.
477
00:27:26,544 --> 00:27:29,513
What sort of a man
chooses the name lce Pick?
478
00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:33,078
[people chattering]
479
00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:38,880
lsn't it terrific?
lt arrived late last night.
480
00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:41,091
Has to be from my kid.
481
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:44,492
Did l tell you
he still lives in Washington? Yeah?
482
00:27:46,131 --> 00:27:48,292
Hey, Johnnie...
483
00:27:48,366 --> 00:27:52,894
l've got a little gift
for you, too, l mean, it can't compare with the TV, but....
484
00:27:54,139 --> 00:27:56,130
[man chattering on TV]
485
00:27:56,775 --> 00:27:58,538
My '52 card.
Yeah.
486
00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:00,339
The misprint.
487
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:04,542
No, go on, take it back.
Don't go around giving away $50.
488
00:28:04,616 --> 00:28:07,779
No, l'm getting a million
out of giving it to you.
489
00:28:07,852 --> 00:28:09,820
Just don't sell it.
(Johnnie) Sorry.
490
00:28:09,888 --> 00:28:12,584
This card is worth
two months of cable.
491
00:28:13,558 --> 00:28:16,083
Johnnie, l've kept that card
for over 30 years.
492
00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:19,392
Yeah, l know,
and you go on keeping it.
493
00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:24,266
For you, this is
a prize possession. That means a lot to me.
494
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:28,267
But all it is
to Johnnie Wells is $50.
495
00:28:33,945 --> 00:28:35,640
[commentator chattering on TV]
496
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:43,047
Why, my dear,
not working this afternoon?
497
00:28:43,121 --> 00:28:44,645
l was fired.
498
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,920
Well, l'm sorry to say it,
l'm not surprised.
499
00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:51,720
You must end your involvement
with our problems.
500
00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:53,423
We're doing just fine.
501
00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:57,127
Now, call Miss Wilcox
and tell her that you're sorry...
502
00:28:57,202 --> 00:28:59,830
and that you really want
to do better.
503
00:28:59,971 --> 00:29:01,768
♪♪[playing an ominous tune]
504
00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:06,541
Have your kicks, Herman,
it doesn't get to me.
505
00:29:07,645 --> 00:29:11,479
Will you look at that?
Do you believe it?
506
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:13,778
Okay, Johnnie, it goes.
(Johnnie) No.
507
00:29:13,852 --> 00:29:17,481
Come on. Harvey,
that TV is not going anywhere.
508
00:29:17,555 --> 00:29:20,023
His son gave it to him.
So?
509
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:23,788
l got my orders,
and these guys with me got a big truck.
510
00:29:23,862 --> 00:29:26,660
We're here to get the piano
that Herman's nephew bought...
511
00:29:26,731 --> 00:29:28,892
the recliner that David's
ex-agent bought...
512
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:33,131
and the brand new $500 TV set
that Johnnie's son bought.
513
00:29:34,572 --> 00:29:37,939
The owners said, ''confiscate.''
The owners can't confiscate.
514
00:29:38,009 --> 00:29:40,637
lt's illegal.
This'll say it's legal.
515
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:45,079
Thought they had
until Tuesday? Read it and weep.
516
00:29:45,283 --> 00:29:47,877
How do l know this is real?
Call your lawyer.
517
00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:49,544
We don't have a lawyer.
518
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:50,849
Aw.
519
00:29:50,922 --> 00:29:53,857
We can't call a lawyer,
Harvey. lt's Sunday.
520
00:29:54,058 --> 00:29:57,425
Start with the piano,
then the TV. Harvey.
521
00:30:31,262 --> 00:30:32,559
♪♪[accordion playing]
522
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:35,897
[people chattering]
523
00:30:52,150 --> 00:30:53,515
Thank you.
524
00:30:54,452 --> 00:30:56,181
(Agatha)AII right, everyone...
525
00:30:56,254 --> 00:31:00,953
get your cardsand your buckets ready,and Iet"s begin.
526
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:04,756
How is it going, Higgins?
Splendidly, considering your Mr. lce Pick...
527
00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:06,820
cancelled on us
at the last moment.
528
00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:09,628
We're just fortunate Agatha
was available to fill in.
529
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,693
Yeah, well, he felt real bad
about that. He had to fly out.
530
00:31:12,770 --> 00:31:14,397
Contract dispute.
531
00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:16,770
(Rick)
So, what's the take?
532
00:31:17,442 --> 00:31:18,534
The ''take''?
533
00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:22,046
l think we're all wondering
if we've reached the 3,000 mark.
534
00:31:22,113 --> 00:31:26,447
Well, the total at this hour
is $32,000-- $32,000?
535
00:31:28,486 --> 00:31:29,817
What?
Oh.
536
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:36,824
Thank you, Mr. Higgins.
We don't know what to say.
537
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:40,262
Well, that's just the total
without taking into account the debit factor.
538
00:31:40,331 --> 00:31:42,891
The grand prize
still has to come out of the gross receipts.
539
00:31:42,967 --> 00:31:45,162
$10,000.
$10,000!
540
00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:51,401
Higgins, why?
The grand prize is for the coverall finale.
541
00:31:51,476 --> 00:31:53,273
The winner must cover
every number on the card.
542
00:31:53,344 --> 00:31:55,312
That's crazy.
lt'll take all day.
543
00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:59,612
The numerical possibilities
allow for a game of 45 minutes at the outside.
544
00:31:59,684 --> 00:32:03,017
l assume you'll both
be purchasing cards? No, not me.
545
00:32:03,087 --> 00:32:05,851
Like l told Madge and Jeanie,
l never win at these things.
546
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:09,621
Mr. Calvin,
it's for a good cause. lt really is.
547
00:32:12,830 --> 00:32:17,062
Under the ""G""as in George, 51. (man)
548
00:32:17,402 --> 00:32:20,929
Bingo! Oh, how wonderfuI.We have a winner.
549
00:32:22,740 --> 00:32:23,934
CongratuIations.
550
00:32:24,008 --> 00:32:26,909
Thank you, Agatha,you"ve done a superb job.
551
00:32:26,978 --> 00:32:28,240
[people clapping]
552
00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:35,608
Ladies and gentIemen,may I have your attention,pIease?
553
00:32:35,687 --> 00:32:38,850
It"s timefor the grand finaIeof the Bingo GaIa.
554
00:32:38,923 --> 00:32:40,584
This wiII bethe coveraII noveIty match...
555
00:32:40,658 --> 00:32:42,182
in which the winning pIayer...
556
00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:45,787
must cover every numberon the card,not just a singIe Iine...
557
00:32:45,863 --> 00:32:47,763
for a grand prize of $10,000.
558
00:32:47,865 --> 00:32:49,025
[all exclaiming]
559
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:52,399
Is everyoneseated comfortabIy?Then Iet"s begin.
560
00:32:58,910 --> 00:33:00,400
G-51.
561
00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:02,844
Under the ""G, "" 51.
562
00:33:02,914 --> 00:33:06,179
Odd, I once had occasionto usethat exact combination...
563
00:33:06,250 --> 00:33:09,549
in connectionwith a secret codein a fIeet of submarines.
564
00:33:17,228 --> 00:33:20,254
I had the misfortuneof Ianding in the middIeof a herd of goats...
565
00:33:20,331 --> 00:33:23,459
during the second WorId Warwhen CIive Krefting...
566
00:33:23,534 --> 00:33:26,594
the piIotwas rendered unconscious,by a gunshot wound.
567
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:29,538
AIthough, I hadno previous trainingin Ianding such an aircraft...
568
00:33:29,607 --> 00:33:31,336
I did manage to....
569
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,005
[yawning]
570
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,641
But, perhaps,this isn"t the timefor such recoIIections.
571
00:33:40,251 --> 00:33:41,878
That was B-13.
572
00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:44,911
Forty-five minutes
on the outside...
573
00:33:44,989 --> 00:33:48,254
just inside of four hours.
This must be a world record.
574
00:33:48,426 --> 00:33:50,894
[snoring]
PIease watch your cards.We must have a winner.
575
00:33:50,962 --> 00:33:52,725
N-37.
576
00:33:53,264 --> 00:33:54,731
N-37.
577
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:57,593
N-37!
You won?
578
00:33:57,668 --> 00:34:00,228
T.C., you won. N-37.
579
00:34:02,073 --> 00:34:03,233
l won?
580
00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:07,772
''N-37.''
581
00:34:07,845 --> 00:34:09,369
[people chattering]
582
00:34:10,815 --> 00:34:12,009
l won.
583
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:15,684
♪♪[accordion playing]
584
00:34:17,288 --> 00:34:18,687
l won!
585
00:34:18,756 --> 00:34:22,021
l never won anything,
since l won an Ellery Queen decoder ring...
586
00:34:22,093 --> 00:34:23,321
when l was
seven years old!
587
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:26,158
$10,000!
588
00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:28,130
l won! l won!
589
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:30,224
Look, you know,
l've always wondered what l would do...
590
00:34:30,301 --> 00:34:32,132
if l came into
a large sum of money.
591
00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:35,036
Maybe, l'll make
the down payment on a house.
592
00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:39,808
A down paymenton a new heIicopter,or maybe expand my business.
593
00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:42,812
TraveI. Rio, Mardi Gras.
594
00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:44,676
[whooping]
595
00:34:45,283 --> 00:34:46,477
[T.C. Iaughing]
596
00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:55,825
But, shoot. If I did that,I"d have to come up with...
597
00:34:56,961 --> 00:34:59,054
a whoIe new bunchof dreams.
598
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:03,932
So, if it"s aII the samewith you guys...
599
00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:07,661
I"d rather givemy $10,000 prize...
600
00:35:08,172 --> 00:35:11,369
to the FountainbIeu ResidencePurchase Fund.
601
00:35:11,509 --> 00:35:12,737
[all clapping]
602
00:35:12,810 --> 00:35:13,799
Oh.
603
00:35:26,624 --> 00:35:30,025
$39,61 7.
604
00:35:34,165 --> 00:35:37,259
(Magnum)Those IittIe faiIure cIoudswere starting to bIow away.
605
00:35:37,335 --> 00:35:38,996
True, I"d Iost a dayand a haIf...
606
00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:41,129
trying to track downMadge and Jeanie"s property...
607
00:35:41,205 --> 00:35:43,435
but, finaIIy,I"d hit pay dirt.
608
00:35:43,508 --> 00:35:45,476
The goods were on their wayback to the hoteI.
609
00:35:45,543 --> 00:35:46,908
And in about an hour...
610
00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:50,106
I wouId take Madge and Jeanieto put a down paymenton the FountainbIeu.
611
00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:52,945
[tape rewinding]
The onIy dark cIoud Ieftwas the Day-N-Dark robberies.
612
00:35:53,017 --> 00:35:56,111
I knew there was a threadsomewhere, something simpIethat I"d overIooked.
613
00:35:56,187 --> 00:35:57,950
But I couIdn"t thinkwhat it was.
614
00:35:58,022 --> 00:36:00,320
(Rick on answering machine)Yeah, Thomas,I heard from Ice Pick.
615
00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:01,858
He got the registrationon the car.
616
00:36:01,926 --> 00:36:04,918
Yeah?
OnIy thing is,it"s kind of weird.
617
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,794
It doesn"t make any sense.
What? What?
618
00:36:07,865 --> 00:36:10,333
The Camaro beIongs to a guynamed BiIIy Princeton...
619
00:36:10,401 --> 00:36:14,735
but here"s the weird part,the pIates on it beIongto a "38 Caddy...
620
00:36:14,805 --> 00:36:18,935
and it"s registeredto a Jeanine K.and Margaret L. LaSaIIe.
621
00:36:19,043 --> 00:36:20,442
[tape rewinding]
622
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:24,311
...a "38 Caddyand it"s registeredto a Jeanine K...
623
00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:26,077
and Margaret L. LaSaIIe.
624
00:36:26,317 --> 00:36:28,945
Thomas, those arethe LaSaIIe sisters.
625
00:36:30,788 --> 00:36:31,777
[birds chirping]
626
00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:35,257
(Higgins)
Perhaps the plates were stolen from Madge and Jeanie's car.
627
00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:39,556
lt doesn't make sense.
He nearly runs two ladies over...
628
00:36:39,630 --> 00:36:41,530
and then tracks them down
and steals their plates?
629
00:36:41,599 --> 00:36:42,588
l see your point.
630
00:36:42,667 --> 00:36:45,101
Madge and Jeanie
did not want me to trace that car.
631
00:36:45,169 --> 00:36:46,568
They know the guy.
632
00:36:46,637 --> 00:36:49,470
Who are you calling?
The LaSalle sisters.
633
00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:51,302
[phone ringing]
634
00:36:52,009 --> 00:36:54,807
(Johnnie)HeIIo? Johnnie? lt's me, Tommy.
635
00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:57,109
May l speak to Madge
or Jeanie for a minute?
636
00:36:57,181 --> 00:36:58,808
Magnum, aren't they with you?
637
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:01,545
l haven't seen them
since before the bingo party yesterday.
638
00:37:01,619 --> 00:37:03,644
They didn't come back here
last night.
639
00:37:03,721 --> 00:37:05,484
Herman said they were waitingto see you.
640
00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:08,047
We figured you might haveasked them to stay over.
641
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:10,593
Magnum, where are they?
642
00:37:10,828 --> 00:37:13,228
[sighing]
They were carrying $39,000.
643
00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:17,130
Something must have happened
to them.
644
00:37:17,201 --> 00:37:18,998
I"m caIIing the cops.
No.
645
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:21,937
Just give me
a couple of hours, l think l know where they might be.
646
00:37:22,006 --> 00:37:23,371
l'll call you
as soon as l find them.
647
00:37:23,441 --> 00:37:24,999
Magnum, there's something
you ought to see.
648
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:26,805
What?
My old yearbook.
649
00:37:26,877 --> 00:37:30,244
Higgins, not now.
This is regarding the LaSalle sisters.
650
00:37:30,314 --> 00:37:33,772
l first saw them
37 years ago this July.
651
00:37:34,352 --> 00:37:36,013
And?
Do you recall that when the sisters...
652
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,078
first came to tea,
l had the curious sensation...
653
00:37:38,155 --> 00:37:41,488
of having known them before?
What's your point, Higgins? l'm in a hurry.
654
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,789
The LaSalle sisters
were performers.
655
00:37:43,861 --> 00:37:45,795
This is the theatre program
from Blackpool...
656
00:37:45,863 --> 00:37:48,423
the summer l completed
my upper second at Sandhurst.
657
00:37:48,499 --> 00:37:50,660
My father felt that
some sort of family celebration...
658
00:37:50,735 --> 00:37:52,726
of my accomplishment
was in order, although...
659
00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,566
of course,
l never admitted this to Father...
660
00:37:54,639 --> 00:37:57,233
Blackpool was a bit gaudy,
by my standards.
661
00:37:57,575 --> 00:37:59,202
They were
quick change artists.
662
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:02,474
Well, that's hardly
the description for a classic performance.
663
00:38:02,546 --> 00:38:05,310
They presented a unique
multi-charactered mime.
664
00:38:05,383 --> 00:38:09,080
Just the two of them.
Quite an extraordinary display of....
665
00:38:09,153 --> 00:38:10,142
[door closing]
666
00:38:11,756 --> 00:38:16,090
Ollie, it isn't fair of you
to ask this of us. And not very bright.
667
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,351
The cash registers
were one thing...
668
00:38:18,429 --> 00:38:22,866
but, $150,000
is a very serious crime.
669
00:38:22,933 --> 00:38:26,562
Girls, believe me,
now this is fair. And you owe me.
670
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:29,401
Why do you think
l didn't turn you in after the first robbery, huh?
671
00:38:29,473 --> 00:38:32,135
All these other jobs,
they were just a warm-up for this one.
672
00:38:32,209 --> 00:38:35,303
Forget it.
Okay.
673
00:38:35,413 --> 00:38:37,074
You really wanna forget it,
huh?
674
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:39,810
That bingo money
belongs to Johnnie...
675
00:38:39,884 --> 00:38:43,786
and Herman
and all the other people at the Fountainbleu.
676
00:38:43,854 --> 00:38:47,551
And they'll get it back
just as soon as you pull this job.
677
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:49,319
Ollie...
678
00:38:51,662 --> 00:38:53,892
there aren't going to be
any guns.
679
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:57,460
Promise me.
l promise. No guns.
680
00:39:02,573 --> 00:39:04,905
(Magnum)Footnote to the dissertationon faiIure.
681
00:39:04,975 --> 00:39:06,442
My IittIe voicehad convinced me...
682
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:10,571
that aII my faiIuresof the Iast few dayshad been carefuIIy pIanned.
683
00:39:10,648 --> 00:39:12,411
It was aIso saying...
684
00:39:12,483 --> 00:39:16,647
""Thomas, despitewhat the LaSaIIe sistershave Ied you to beIieve...
685
00:39:16,721 --> 00:39:20,680
""you are a functioning aduIt,and proving it is sometimes...
686
00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:22,316
""very painfuI. ""
687
00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:25,191
Please, go away.
l want to buy something.
688
00:39:29,934 --> 00:39:31,561
What time's
the big pick up?
689
00:39:31,635 --> 00:39:33,102
What are you
talking about?
690
00:39:33,938 --> 00:39:35,132
Miss Wilcox...
691
00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:38,607
l happen to know
that Day-N-Dark is too cheap to pay armed guards...
692
00:39:38,676 --> 00:39:40,735
overtime for holidays.
Too cheap?
693
00:39:40,811 --> 00:39:44,474
Which means that all the money
from all the stores is in one location.
694
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:46,547
One guard.
695
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:48,848
lt's here, isn't it?
696
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,182
They come for the money
at 1 2:00, but l don't need any help.
697
00:39:52,256 --> 00:39:56,215
You have been replaced
by a very competent Day-N-Dark security guard.
698
00:39:56,293 --> 00:39:58,056
Where is he?
ln the back.
699
00:39:58,129 --> 00:39:59,118
Fine.
700
00:39:59,196 --> 00:40:01,858
l'll need to see those reports
that l left behind on the robberies.
701
00:40:01,932 --> 00:40:03,832
You know, the photos,
police interviews, all of that.
702
00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,960
You did not leave
the reports, Magnum.
703
00:40:06,036 --> 00:40:09,233
You were asked to return them
after you were fired.
704
00:40:09,306 --> 00:40:13,970
Miss Wilcox, please.
You have over $150,000 in your office.
705
00:40:14,044 --> 00:40:15,409
lf that money is stolen...
706
00:40:15,479 --> 00:40:17,845
l don't think your bosses
are gonna be too happy with you.
707
00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:21,009
So, can l please see
those police reports? No.
708
00:40:22,887 --> 00:40:23,979
[sighing]
709
00:40:25,890 --> 00:40:27,653
Yes, may l help you?
710
00:40:30,694 --> 00:40:31,820
$1 .98.
711
00:40:31,896 --> 00:40:34,888
All right, let's see,
that's $1 .98 a pound.
712
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,765
This is $3.49.
713
00:40:37,902 --> 00:40:39,096
$5.67.
714
00:40:45,242 --> 00:40:46,573
Thank you.
715
00:40:55,853 --> 00:40:57,787
You stole the reports.
Here.
716
00:40:57,855 --> 00:40:59,379
lt didn't seem important
at the time...
717
00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:01,049
but it happened
at every one of the robberies.
718
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,252
''10:05,
nun slipped on wet floor.
719
00:41:03,327 --> 00:41:05,795
''Cash register attendant
ran to her assistance.
720
00:41:05,863 --> 00:41:08,593
''10:09, attendant returned
to find register empty.
721
00:41:08,666 --> 00:41:10,361
''2:16, elderly man fainted.
722
00:41:10,434 --> 00:41:13,961
''Day-N-Dark attendant
called paramedics, returning to find cash register empty.''
723
00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:16,632
All right, proving what?
Proving....
724
00:41:19,043 --> 00:41:22,535
Proving that none of us
are infallible when it comes to judging character.
725
00:42:21,939 --> 00:42:23,065
[exclaiming]
726
00:42:23,274 --> 00:42:25,003
Oh, l knocked down....
727
00:42:25,075 --> 00:42:27,976
Oh. Oh, my knee.
728
00:42:30,514 --> 00:42:31,811
Nice move, Madge.
729
00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:35,340
Although, l thought
the nun's outfit was a nicer touch.
730
00:42:35,753 --> 00:42:38,449
Yeah, how's this
for a nice touch, huh?
731
00:42:38,856 --> 00:42:41,518
Ollie, you promised. No guns.
Hey, l lied.
732
00:42:41,792 --> 00:42:42,986
[exclaiming]
733
00:42:44,194 --> 00:42:47,857
(Jeanie)
You dirty rat. You promised no guns.
734
00:42:47,932 --> 00:42:50,628
How dare you bring
a gun in here? He's the one.
735
00:42:50,701 --> 00:42:54,330
You stinking raccoon!
How dare you bring a gun in here?
736
00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:55,895
You promised.
737
00:43:09,453 --> 00:43:10,943
(Magnum)
l still don't see...
738
00:43:11,021 --> 00:43:12,989
why you had to call
the police right away.
739
00:43:13,057 --> 00:43:16,220
A crime has been committed,
or perhaps you didn't notice.
740
00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:18,557
Of course l noticed.
Well, if you don't mind...
741
00:43:18,629 --> 00:43:21,962
l would like
to finish my report before they get here.
742
00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:23,465
(Madge)
Ollie was the guard...
743
00:43:23,534 --> 00:43:27,800
at the very first Day-N-Dark
we tried to rob.
744
00:43:27,871 --> 00:43:31,034
Jeanie was a high school boy
getting a soft drink.
745
00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:34,077
l was a housewife
waiting to check out.
746
00:43:36,747 --> 00:43:40,740
Ollie was outside
waiting for us by our car.
747
00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:45,685
He said, ''High School boys
don't wear cameo rings.''
748
00:43:46,757 --> 00:43:49,692
lt always worked best
when l played the men.
749
00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:56,425
After that first time,
Oliver actually hit the registers.
750
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:59,298
Yes, but that doesn't change
the fact that you took the money.
751
00:43:59,370 --> 00:44:03,739
They'll give it back.
Well, l'm not so sure about that.
752
00:44:03,807 --> 00:44:07,743
lt's all gone.
Little expenses, damage to the car.
753
00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:09,836
The color TV,
and Herman's piano...
754
00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:12,848
and the cable money,
and the stereo for Millie.
755
00:44:13,250 --> 00:44:15,718
You guys bought those things
and told the people at the hotel...
756
00:44:15,786 --> 00:44:17,845
it was from their relatives,
right?
757
00:44:17,921 --> 00:44:21,914
You forgot David's recliner
and Margaret's gall bladder...
758
00:44:22,226 --> 00:44:25,389
Duke's heart pacer,
and Ralph's cordless telephone.
759
00:44:25,462 --> 00:44:28,260
Oh, we made sure
everybody got something.
760
00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:30,691
(Heather)
l can understand the operations.
761
00:44:30,768 --> 00:44:33,566
But why didn't you pay
your rent, instead of buying toys?
762
00:44:33,637 --> 00:44:34,695
Toys?
763
00:44:34,772 --> 00:44:38,003
But they're just as important
as operations, the rent.
764
00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:42,774
Sometimes health
and having a place to live aren't important...
765
00:44:42,846 --> 00:44:44,746
unless you have a reason
to live.
766
00:44:45,049 --> 00:44:46,949
Take Johnnie Wells.
767
00:44:47,017 --> 00:44:50,783
How long do you think
he'd survive without his love for baseball?
768
00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:52,615
A television set...
769
00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:54,521
is just as important
to his life...
770
00:44:54,958 --> 00:44:57,859
as a new heart pacer
is to Duke's.
771
00:44:58,328 --> 00:44:59,852
And Herman...
772
00:45:00,297 --> 00:45:04,028
take away his piano,
and he'll turn into a vegetable.
773
00:45:05,069 --> 00:45:08,038
No way to communicate...
774
00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:10,538
nothing to live for.
775
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:15,106
We're here for the suspects.
776
00:45:17,247 --> 00:45:20,114
Ladies, no matter how noble
your motive...
777
00:45:22,052 --> 00:45:23,644
it was still stealing.
778
00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:27,186
Miss Wilcox.
Heather, please...
779
00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:31,888
we've got the bingo money
from Oliver. They've got $40,000.
780
00:45:31,962 --> 00:45:35,420
They can pay back every cent
they've stolen and Oliver's share...
781
00:45:35,499 --> 00:45:38,696
and besides, they did assist
in stopping the big heist.
782
00:45:38,769 --> 00:45:40,634
No, dear, she's right.
783
00:45:40,771 --> 00:45:43,899
We committed a crime
and we must pay.
784
00:45:46,043 --> 00:45:48,603
l just wondered,
if we could...
785
00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:52,240
just change our clothes
before they take us away.
786
00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:00,715
Oh...
787
00:46:00,791 --> 00:46:03,282
when the store gets back
its money...
788
00:46:04,027 --> 00:46:05,858
would you take the rest
to Johnnie?
789
00:46:05,996 --> 00:46:08,396
They can still make
a down payment on the hotel.
790
00:46:08,866 --> 00:46:10,527
You can give it to him
yourselves.
791
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:13,069
Oh, l'm not so sure,
Thomas.
792
00:46:13,737 --> 00:46:16,672
We're going to be away
for a long, long time.
793
00:46:17,074 --> 00:46:19,269
That's ridiculous, you're....
794
00:46:20,978 --> 00:46:23,776
You called me Thomas.
Naturally.
795
00:46:24,948 --> 00:46:27,348
Tommy's a little boy
with an all-day sucker.
796
00:46:28,018 --> 00:46:29,212
Thomas...
797
00:46:29,853 --> 00:46:32,879
is much more fitting
for a private investigator.
798
00:46:35,392 --> 00:46:36,916
We'll be right back.
799
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:44,692
[door closing]
800
00:47:15,732 --> 00:47:18,724
Oh, well, l hope you're happy.
They got away.
801
00:47:18,802 --> 00:47:21,703
Do you realize how many forms
l'm going to have to fill out for this?
802
00:47:21,772 --> 00:47:23,069
Why is it my fault?
803
00:47:23,140 --> 00:47:25,301
You're the one who said
they could change their clothes.
804
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:29,675
Oh, sure, try to shift
the responsibility. How like you.
805
00:47:29,746 --> 00:47:30,735
Me?
806
00:47:31,081 --> 00:47:34,414
Me? You don't even know me.
807
00:47:34,464 --> 00:47:39,014
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