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1
00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:09,000
This is the dress
I'm going to get married in.
2
00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:10,767
We don't still have a month.
We only have a month.
3
00:00:10,834 --> 00:00:13,167
Meanwhile, your dad's
gonna love me with these cigars I'm getting him.
4
00:00:13,234 --> 00:00:14,801
You don't have to
get him cigars.
5
00:00:14,868 --> 00:00:16,334
Castro cannot get
these cigars.
6
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,434
I'm gonna give you
one piece of advice.
7
00:00:18,501 --> 00:00:20,133
Talk to my florist?
Tomorrow at 10:00.
8
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,267
Talk to my caterer?
9
00:00:21,334 --> 00:00:22,901
Hired the band yet?
No.
10
00:00:22,968 --> 00:00:25,767
Trust me, it gets
so much worse than this.
11
00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:41,334
* Tell me whyI love you like I do
12
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,701
* Tell me whocan stop my heartas much as you
13
00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:49,400
* Tell me all your secretsand I'll tell you most of mine
14
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:53,701
* They say nobody's perfectwell that's really truethis time
15
00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:57,634
* I don't have the answers,I don't have a plan
16
00:00:57,701 --> 00:00:59,067
* All I have is you
17
00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:01,100
* So, darling,help me understand
18
00:01:01,167 --> 00:01:02,868
* What we do
19
00:01:02,934 --> 00:01:05,133
* You can whisper in my ear
20
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,901
* Where we go
21
00:01:06,968 --> 00:01:09,367
* Who knowswhat happens after here
22
00:01:09,434 --> 00:01:11,067
* Let's takeeach other's hand
23
00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:14,300
* As we jump intothe final frontier
24
00:01:15,601 --> 00:01:18,033
* I'm mad about you, baby
25
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:20,334
* Yeah!* Yeah!
26
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,400
* I'm mad about you
27
00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:37,100
(WHAT THE WORLD
NEEDS NOW PLAYING)
28
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:24,067
The Machetes haven't
talked to the Gundoloffs for 12 years,
29
00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:25,801
why would they sit there?
They'll talk now.
30
00:02:25,868 --> 00:02:28,534
You know, they lost
their whole porch.
31
00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:31,567
Where do you see Roseline?
Ros is with Morty. Leave Ros alone, please.
32
00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:33,701
But, I know Rosalyn.
She's gonna want to sit with Betty.
33
00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:35,067
No,
Betty's not coming.
34
00:02:35,133 --> 00:02:36,834
It doesn't matter.
35
00:02:36,901 --> 00:02:38,901
You just can't seat people
willy-nilly.
36
00:02:38,968 --> 00:02:40,467
This is not
willy-nilly, here.
37
00:02:40,534 --> 00:02:43,200
You put Estelle Moss
with the depressives. Why?
38
00:02:43,267 --> 00:02:44,801
Why, why, why
do you think, Ma?
39
00:02:44,868 --> 00:02:47,367
She's better.
She's not better.
40
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:53,534
Listen, I wouldn't put
Charlie near the bar. You're asking for trouble.
41
00:02:53,601 --> 00:02:56,167
Oh, oh, oh. Let's change
Charlie with Anna.
42
00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:57,934
Which one is Anna?
The big one.
43
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,501
The Fosters are coming?
Yes.
44
00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,501
Where?
Right here by the Blausers.
45
00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:03,033
(DOOR BELL BUZZING)
Look, right here.
46
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,567
All right, no, on, no.
No more changing anything, please.
47
00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:07,901
(ALL CLAMORING)
48
00:03:07,968 --> 00:03:10,868
The Gundoloffs
just bit me in the ass.
49
00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,400
Deb, hi.
50
00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:14,801
I just saved you
120 bucks.
51
00:03:14,868 --> 00:03:16,701
Where's Gary?
He's not coming.
52
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:18,133
What happened
to your hair?
53
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,300
Not now, Ma.
54
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,634
What do you mean
Gary's not coming?
55
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,234
We're separated.
56
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,834
What does she mean
they're separated?
57
00:03:27,901 --> 00:03:30,734
I hope it's true.
He's a putz.
58
00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:32,300
Deborah...
No. Ma, Ma.
59
00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:34,067
What?
Let-- Let-- Let me.
60
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,234
Wow.
61
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:40,934
You're telling me.
62
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,567
You got to be
kidding me. I wish I was.
63
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:47,067
Well, what...
64
00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:48,868
I don't understand.
What did you do?
65
00:03:48,934 --> 00:03:51,534
I mean, no.
What happened?
66
00:03:51,601 --> 00:03:54,100
I don't know.
I was home with the kids...
67
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,534
Your father wanted
some water.
68
00:03:59,267 --> 00:04:00,634
So?
69
00:04:00,701 --> 00:04:02,968
So give him some.
70
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,100
I don't-- I don't
understand this. I mean, you...
71
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,734
You and Gary,
you-- you love each other.
72
00:04:12,801 --> 00:04:14,400
(CRYING) I was wrong.
73
00:04:14,467 --> 00:04:17,100
What? For-- For 15 years?
74
00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:20,834
I don't know.
I mean, it was good
75
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,400
and then it wasn't good.
76
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,534
And I don't know why.
77
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,801
Have another one.
78
00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:43,734
You know what?
You'll talk. We talked.
79
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:45,200
So you'll work it out.
80
00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:46,934
It's been worked out.
81
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,067
So it's okay?
It's over.
82
00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:52,100
See, you're not helping me.
83
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,968
Let me give you
a little advice here, Paul.
84
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,968
If Jamie ever asks you
to you pick up
85
00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:59,367
a half a pound
of smoked turkey on the way home,
86
00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:00,567
pick it up.
87
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,434
Don't come home without it
and tell her that
88
00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:05,934
she was the one who was
gonna pick it up.
89
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,667
The turkey.
Yeah.
90
00:05:07,734 --> 00:05:09,734
Pick up the turkey.
Yeah.
91
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:20,634
Now, that's nice.
92
00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:23,634
Yeah, I got to tell you.
It's still a little snug when I go like this.
93
00:05:23,701 --> 00:05:26,100
Are you gonna
conduct a band? No, but...
94
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:27,734
Are you going to frisk
a tall woman?
95
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:29,467
I don't think so.
Then leave it alone.
96
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:31,767
All right. You don't...
Let me ask, you don't think
97
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:34,133
the pants are
a little too short?
98
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:39,067
Hey, you are fast.
99
00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:41,133
I gotta tell you
it's still a little-- little tight over here.
100
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,968
You know, you got to
break it in. Like a new pair of shoes.
101
00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:46,934
All right. I'm breaking.
Why don't you conduct a band?
102
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,734
Conduct a band.
103
00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:51,067
See?
All right.
104
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,467
How nice.
All right.
105
00:05:53,534 --> 00:05:54,734
Ow, ow.
It's pinching.
106
00:05:54,801 --> 00:05:57,033
You've got all this skin.
Tell me about it.
107
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,801
It's just stuck.
It's not stuck.
108
00:05:58,868 --> 00:06:00,000
It's got to be the zipper.
109
00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:01,467
It's not the zipper.
It's me.
110
00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:02,734
Stop being so negative.
111
00:06:02,801 --> 00:06:05,067
I'm not negative. I'm fat.
112
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,167
You're the same girl
who tried this dress on last month.
113
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,334
Yeah, and then some.
114
00:06:20,534 --> 00:06:22,601
Uncle Harry,
how are you?
115
00:06:23,868 --> 00:06:25,434
Bathroom's over there.
116
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,567
Bar's over there.
117
00:06:27,634 --> 00:06:28,767
You two, mingle.
118
00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:31,501
(DOOR OPENING)
119
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,100
Hey, there's my
beautiful bride.
120
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:34,667
Yeah. Bite me.
121
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,400
That's not
mature behavior.
122
00:06:42,467 --> 00:06:45,033
If you didn't
make me quit smoking, I wouldn't be this fat.
123
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,801
You're not fat.
Oh, really?
124
00:06:46,868 --> 00:06:49,567
Tell that to my dress.
'Cause I just had a fitting, and it doesn't fit.
125
00:06:49,634 --> 00:06:51,067
Well, you got to
break it in.
126
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,834
Listen. 20 minutes ago
I couldn't go like this.
127
00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:55,167
(EXCLAIMS)
128
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,567
I am never getting naked
in front of you again.
129
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,801
I've already seen you naked.
Not this fat.
130
00:06:59,868 --> 00:07:02,033
Oh, sure this fat.
131
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,801
Thank you so much.
132
00:07:03,868 --> 00:07:05,934
I never should have
mailed the invitations.
133
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,100
Hey, I'm the one
who suggested Vegas.
134
00:07:08,167 --> 00:07:09,734
Even the hallway feels tight.
135
00:07:09,801 --> 00:07:11,234
Hallway's not tight.
136
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,868
In one hour I have
five women coming over here.
137
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:15,501
I don't even know
what a bachelorette party is.
138
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:18,200
Hey. Do I got to wear shoes
to my thing, or you think I could wear sneakers?
139
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:20,467
Sneakers. But wear a jacket.
140
00:07:20,534 --> 00:07:22,400
How could there be
a dress code at a strip club?
141
00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:23,701
Excuse me.
Where are you going?
142
00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:25,634
Where you can't see me.
143
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:28,667
You know what?
Tonight, tell you what.
144
00:07:28,734 --> 00:07:31,400
I will just look at
the large naked women
145
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:33,300
so that way
when I come home...
146
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:34,968
Yeah, I'm dead
in the water here.
147
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:39,000
Hey, what is this?
JAMIE: What?
148
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:41,200
The world's smallest
gravy boat.
149
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,200
Somebody gave us
something square.
150
00:07:44,267 --> 00:07:47,400
(SHOWER RUNNING)
Hey.
151
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,367
"Lights, camera,
Buchmans."
152
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:51,467
(SHOWER CURTAIN SLIDING)
What the hell?
153
00:07:51,534 --> 00:07:53,567
What are you doing?
154
00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:55,367
You know what?
The veil is gonna help that.
155
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,701
Why did you open this?
156
00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,601
Because it was all closed.
Who gave that to us?
157
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,400
It's not us.
It's for you.
158
00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:03,868
From who?
Who do you think? Me.
159
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,667
You got me a gift?
160
00:08:06,734 --> 00:08:08,434
Yeah. You didn't
get me one?
161
00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:10,367
I'm marrying you.
162
00:08:10,434 --> 00:08:12,968
You're marrying me?
You didn't hear?
163
00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:15,901
That's your gift to me?
You're marrying me?
164
00:08:17,234 --> 00:08:18,767
It's a gift.
165
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:25,133
It's clearly not
the right one.
166
00:08:29,234 --> 00:08:31,033
(CHEERING)
167
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,000
MAN: Come on, baby, shake it!
168
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:35,033
(UPBEAT BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)
169
00:08:36,534 --> 00:08:38,367
(WHISTLING)
170
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,901
Hey, Paulie.
You can look, but you can't touch.
171
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:48,934
In five more days,
the whole world will be like that for you.
172
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,033
Why do you get
such pleasure from that?
173
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,934
I don't know.
174
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,000
So, hey. Talk to me
about cigars.
175
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:58,400
You will have them.
When?
176
00:08:58,467 --> 00:09:00,133
You will have them.
Before the wedding?
177
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,400
Hey, what did I just say?
178
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:03,634
Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.
179
00:09:03,701 --> 00:09:05,033
Hey, Lenny. All right.
180
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:08,868
Paul, my sincerest
congratulations on this blessed occasion.
181
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:11,934
Wow.
182
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,133
You know what?
I was gonna wear overalls and a tool belt, too,
183
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,634
and Jamie said no.
184
00:09:15,701 --> 00:09:17,534
Yeah. Lenny works
for Con Ed.
185
00:09:17,601 --> 00:09:19,334
We're doing some work
over on 15th Street.
186
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,100
The water main
in front of Bagel Nosh.
187
00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:22,934
Oh, yeah, I saw that.
That's you?
188
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,701
Uh-huh.
189
00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:28,167
So, piano-playing
justice of the peace who also works for Con Ed.
190
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,000
He's a Renaissance man.
191
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:32,467
I do what I can.
192
00:09:32,534 --> 00:09:34,901
Vickie,
you're a dream.
193
00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:38,767
Oh, my God.
Those are magnificent.
194
00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:41,501
Who did those?
Showman?
195
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:44,200
I went to medicine school
with Showman.
196
00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:46,067
He drove a Citroen.
197
00:09:48,501 --> 00:09:50,868
"I'm marrying you."
That's what he said?
198
00:09:50,934 --> 00:09:52,467
That's what he said.
He said that was the gift.
199
00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:54,467
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Then why would he say it?
200
00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:56,834
Jamie, let me give you
a piece of advice.
201
00:09:56,901 --> 00:10:00,567
Men say a lot of things.
Only listen to a third of them.
202
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,033
He also said
I was fat.
203
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,467
He loves you.
204
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:05,367
Do you think I'm fat?
205
00:10:05,434 --> 00:10:07,501
You're getting married.
206
00:10:10,334 --> 00:10:12,534
So you had a little fight.
207
00:10:12,601 --> 00:10:15,868
Look, Paul, let me give you
a little piece of advice.
208
00:10:15,934 --> 00:10:18,267
Women need
constant attention.
209
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:20,801
Just talk to her.
It doesn't matter what you say.
210
00:10:20,868 --> 00:10:22,634
Two thirds of
what I say to Fran,
211
00:10:22,701 --> 00:10:26,567
I don't know
what the hell I'm talking about.
212
00:10:26,634 --> 00:10:28,834
Well, let me--
let me ask you. Are you a married person?
213
00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:30,667
Leave her alone.
She's working.
214
00:10:30,734 --> 00:10:33,767
Five years.
Five years. All right. Great. Now.
215
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,667
Did you and your husband,
did you happen to exchange gifts?
216
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:39,133
You're ruining this
for me, really.
217
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,734
He gave me pearl earrings.
218
00:10:40,801 --> 00:10:42,300
What's that?
Pearl earrings.
219
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,901
Pearl earrings.
I didn't know.
220
00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:46,934
I didn't know.
People, apparently, before a wedding,
221
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,534
they give each other
a thing. I didn't... Who invented this?
222
00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:52,701
The Incas.
223
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,501
Seriously?
224
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:56,534
Yeah. Sometimes
they'd give earrings, sometimes a necklace,
225
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,033
or cloth.
226
00:11:00,934 --> 00:11:03,334
I had no idea.
I just...
227
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,167
Hey. Let me
use your phone.
228
00:11:05,801 --> 00:11:07,667
Local?
Yes.
229
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:08,834
All right. Go ahead.
230
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,100
Paulie, who the hell
are you calling?
231
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,567
Shut up.
232
00:11:11,634 --> 00:11:13,033
Vickie, my friend,
he's looking a little lonely here.
233
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,801
Help him out, huh?
234
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:20,334
Be with you
in just a second. Calling the wife.
235
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:24,000
If I know Paul, right now
he's probably standing in front of the stripper
236
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,501
(PHONE RINGING)
adjusting the light.
237
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,200
I'll get it.
238
00:11:28,934 --> 00:11:30,334
Paul and Jamie's house.
239
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,067
Hi. Be nice.
240
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:35,901
She's very vulnerable.
This is an important time. You love her. Here.
241
00:11:35,968 --> 00:11:38,000
Hey, how's it going?
242
00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,300
You'll never guess
what song they're playing.
243
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,968
"Fat women dance alone?"
244
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:44,000
Oh, will you stop that.
245
00:11:44,801 --> 00:11:46,167
How's the party?
246
00:11:46,234 --> 00:11:48,300
You know,
hanging out with the broads.
247
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:51,000
Ain't that funny?
So am I. Want to say hello?
248
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:53,834
Say hello. Say...
She's right here. Hold on.
249
00:11:53,901 --> 00:11:55,567
Her name is Jamie.
250
00:11:55,634 --> 00:11:57,467
Hi, honey.
251
00:11:57,534 --> 00:11:59,234
No, not completely.
252
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,434
They're a pretty mild group.
Except for one.
253
00:12:02,501 --> 00:12:05,534
Here sweetheart,
can you break a 20?
254
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:08,234
Mark.
Is that his name?
255
00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:10,200
Oh, okay. All right.
256
00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:11,968
Okay. Bye, honey.
257
00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:14,334
Mark, call Fran.
258
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,501
Really?
259
00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:18,267
Now you see what you started?
260
00:12:18,334 --> 00:12:19,567
Did you invite her?
261
00:12:19,634 --> 00:12:21,667
In fact, I did.
262
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:24,133
So we'll move
the Gundlemans to table 7.
263
00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:31,734
Oh, my God.
What?
264
00:12:31,801 --> 00:12:33,534
My forehead.
It's smooth and clear.
265
00:12:33,601 --> 00:12:36,434
No, no, no. Right here.
I think I got a great big zit coming on.
266
00:12:36,501 --> 00:12:38,434
There's nothing.
267
00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:41,434
And meanwhile, I've been
holding these socks four hours now.
268
00:12:41,501 --> 00:12:43,033
What are you doing?
We're not getting dressed fancy.
269
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,701
It's the rehearsal dinner.
270
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,934
So we'll just rehearse
getting dressed up fancy.
271
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,434
Everybody else is
going to be dressed up. Like who?
272
00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:52,300
Everybody. Your mother,
my mother, your father, my father,
273
00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:54,901
your sister,
my sister, Ira.
274
00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:57,901
Based on what?
It's what people do.
275
00:12:57,968 --> 00:12:59,367
(PHONE RINGS)
276
00:12:59,434 --> 00:13:01,167
That's you.
277
00:13:01,234 --> 00:13:03,033
Hello. Ira.
278
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,267
You get them? Great.
279
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:09,701
He's got cigars. All right,
bring them to the restaurant.
280
00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:11,767
Yeah. Yeah.
281
00:13:12,467 --> 00:13:14,434
Yeah.
282
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:17,200
Yes. Just bring them.
I got another call. I'll see you there.
283
00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:20,734
Hello. Hold on one second.
Office.
284
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:24,767
Yeah. Rick, I told you,
get Kenny to do it.
285
00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:26,801
I'm trying
to get married here. Will you just handle this?
286
00:13:26,868 --> 00:13:28,834
I have to go. Bye.
287
00:13:28,901 --> 00:13:30,567
Hello.
288
00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:32,200
What?
289
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:33,701
Oh, my God.
290
00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:36,901
How can tulips freeze?
291
00:13:36,968 --> 00:13:39,701
Don't even talk to me
about carnations. I have to go.
292
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:41,100
Hello? Hold on.
293
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:43,534
Aunt Selma.
294
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:44,968
Aunt Selma, hi.
295
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,133
I don't even want
to talk about it.
296
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,567
Why? Why can't you
sit with Aunt Carol?
297
00:13:49,634 --> 00:13:53,434
That was 15 years ago.
And she was kidding.
298
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:57,234
She was... Yes, she was.
All right. You know what? Sit with Uncle Gene.
299
00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:00,968
You'll sit with Uncle Gene.
If he wears the Aqua Velva,
300
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:04,567
he wears the Aqua Velva.
Look, I don't-- I don't... What?
301
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,667
Yes, of course.
I--I--I--I...
302
00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:08,701
Well, you are
in my will as well.
303
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,767
All right.
304
00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:12,067
I have a zit, don't I?
305
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:14,334
(DOOR BELL BUZZES)
Oh, they're here.
306
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,968
I'm not even dressed.
307
00:14:17,033 --> 00:14:18,834
You're dressed.
I'll get the coats, you get the door.
308
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:22,300
SYLVIA: He's double-parked.
I'll get the coats.
309
00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:23,868
Hi.
310
00:14:23,934 --> 00:14:25,934
Listen, I told Debbie
I had to use the facilities.
311
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,033
She is very depressed
about the divorce.
312
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:31,767
So, while we're at
the rehearsal dinner, nobody mention the wedding.
313
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,701
Why would it come up?
314
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:42,067
I just want to say
I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow
315
00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:46,067
at the wedding,
and I want to thank Burt and Sylvania
316
00:14:46,133 --> 00:14:48,267
for this lovely
rehearsal dinner.
317
00:14:48,334 --> 00:14:50,767
PAUL: Thank you. All right.
318
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:53,200
It seems so soon
not to like him.
319
00:14:56,234 --> 00:14:59,067
Shut up, Gary.
No, you shut up.
320
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:01,734
Well, you got a problem?
You talk to my lawyer.
321
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:05,868
No, no, no, you're not
hanging up on me. I'm gonna hang up on you.
322
00:15:07,834 --> 00:15:09,868
Where the hell is dessert?
323
00:15:11,601 --> 00:15:13,300
Well, just 20 more hours.
324
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:14,767
Fran says
marriage is great.
325
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:17,167
You know what?
Even not being married to you is good.
326
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:19,467
Hey, Paulie, come here.
327
00:15:19,534 --> 00:15:21,601
You got them?
I got them.
328
00:15:21,667 --> 00:15:23,634
Oh, man, watch me
score some points.
329
00:15:23,701 --> 00:15:26,067
Gus, my very favorite
father-in-law,
330
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:31,133
this is a box pre-Castro,
Marco Seclorias robusto executivos.
331
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,334
Hey, thanks, kid.
Honey, put these in your bag.
332
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,167
Did he love them?
333
00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:40,634
He could barely thank me.
334
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:44,968
Jamie, now I'm 73 years old.
335
00:15:45,033 --> 00:15:47,267
And I've been married twice.
336
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:52,200
I'm going to give you
the most important piece of advice you'll ever hear.
337
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,100
Great.
338
00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:56,400
Never get a dog.
339
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,767
We have a dog.
340
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:02,701
Forget I said anything.
341
00:16:05,701 --> 00:16:08,634
Well, would you
want more fun than this?
342
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,534
The key here is
a swift good-bye.
343
00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:12,434
I will race you home.
344
00:16:12,501 --> 00:16:14,467
BURT: So, where
are you staying tonight?
345
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:16,868
I thought I would stay
where I stayed last night.
346
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,133
Oh, then where
are you gonna stay? Same place.
347
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,334
Oh, now you can't do that.
That's bad luck.
348
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,567
Bad luck.
What--What's gonna happen?
349
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,501
Debbie, tell them.
350
00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:33,667
I don't want you to go.
I don't want to go.
351
00:16:33,734 --> 00:16:35,901
Then why are you going?
352
00:16:35,968 --> 00:16:38,267
Why? For the same reason
we agreed to let your Aunt Lolly play the ukulele.
353
00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:39,567
It's a viola.
354
00:16:39,634 --> 00:16:41,400
I don't think
that really matters.
355
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,534
Guys, it's gonna be fine.
It's gonna be great. It's gonna be wonderful.
356
00:16:43,601 --> 00:16:44,667
Not to worry.
357
00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:46,434
Does Ira have blankets?
358
00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:49,334
I'm gonna say yes.
I just want this to be over.
359
00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:53,000
Excuse me.
360
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,000
I'm gonna be
your sister-in-law.
361
00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:01,567
Yeah.
362
00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:04,968
And you, Miss Stemple.
Do you realize tomorrow at this time
363
00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:08,234
you will be Mrs. Buchman?
364
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,067
Just like his mother.
365
00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:15,434
Okay. Go sleepy.
All righty.
366
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:23,801
Hey, Paulie.
367
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:27,734
Your very last night
of freedom
368
00:17:27,801 --> 00:17:30,133
and look who
you're sleeping with.
369
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,367
(CHUCKLING)
370
00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:38,133
Yeah.
371
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,567
Toothpaste?
372
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:44,200
Trust me.
I did it in high school. It dries them right up.
373
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,267
For being the best sister
in the whole world.
374
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,667
I'm really happy for you.
375
00:17:51,734 --> 00:17:53,534
(MUMBLING)
376
00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:13,434
Tulips froze.
377
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,334
(DOOR BELL BUZZING)
378
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,834
(SNORING)
379
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:29,200
(DOOR BELL BUZZES)
380
00:18:32,701 --> 00:18:34,200
The door.
381
00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:40,300
(SNORES LOUDER)
382
00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:41,634
Yeah, I'll get it
383
00:18:41,701 --> 00:18:44,634
seeing as you have
a big day tomorrow and all.
384
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,634
This is so stupid.
What are we doing?
385
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:51,901
I don't know.
I don't know.
386
00:18:51,968 --> 00:18:54,167
This is so not
what I wanted this to be.
387
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,334
I was lying there
trying to picture tomorrow.
388
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,934
I could see the food.
I could see the flowers. I could see our parents.
389
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,234
The only thing
I couldn't see was us.
390
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,767
Why-- Why is there
toothpaste on your head?
391
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:06,367
How are we gonna
get through this?
392
00:19:10,267 --> 00:19:11,701
You trust me?
393
00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:12,968
Of course I trust you.
394
00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:15,701
Okay. Come with me
and don't ask any questions.
395
00:19:15,767 --> 00:19:17,234
Okay.
You promise?
396
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,634
Okay.
Where are we going?
397
00:19:24,801 --> 00:19:26,267
Where the hell are we going?
398
00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:28,300
I don't see that
as trusting.
399
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:32,167
This is it.
This is what?
400
00:19:32,234 --> 00:19:34,534
Lenny? Lenny?
401
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,067
What are you doing?
402
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,501
Paul. What's going on?
403
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,434
Hey. How are you doing?
Good. Listen.
404
00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:40,767
You remember--
You remember Jamie?
405
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:43,133
Yeah,
we met in prison. Hi.
406
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,234
I know you're-- you're busy.
Ira told me that you marry people.
407
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:49,400
People marry each other.
I just okay it for the state.
408
00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:51,167
All right, how about
okaying it for us?
409
00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:53,467
You mean tonight.
No, no. Today. Now.
410
00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:54,801
Here?
411
00:19:54,868 --> 00:19:56,434
You have a problem
with 15th Street?
412
00:19:56,501 --> 00:19:58,167
No.
Come on. Come on. Let's do it.
413
00:19:58,234 --> 00:20:00,334
Just you and me.
No parents, no gravy boats.
414
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,067
What about the one later?
415
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:04,901
That's for them.
This is for us.
416
00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:06,901
What-- What do we need?
Rings and a witness.
417
00:20:06,968 --> 00:20:08,834
Uh, don't have either.
418
00:20:08,901 --> 00:20:10,367
Not a problem.
419
00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:13,033
Vows. We never
wrote our vows.
420
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,000
I don't need vows.
Who needs vows?
421
00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:17,801
Edward, I need
some assistance up here.
422
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:21,901
And bring two
No. 6 washers.
423
00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:26,834
All I know is I just want
to wake up with you naked for the rest of my life.
424
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:29,567
You are a strange,
amazing man.
425
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:34,067
Can I tell you that
the part of my brain that came up with this
426
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,300
was not alive
before I met you.
427
00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:40,667
I always knew
it was gonna be you.
428
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,467
Who?
You.
429
00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:45,934
Him. I could have
met you when I was five and I would have known.
430
00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:49,567
So where have you been?
431
00:20:49,634 --> 00:20:51,100
I love you.
432
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:53,601
I love you.
433
00:20:54,801 --> 00:20:56,200
Paul,
434
00:20:58,834 --> 00:21:00,901
(DRILLING)
435
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:04,234
LENNY: Do you take Jamie
to be your lawful wedded wife?
436
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:05,868
I'm sorry, what?
437
00:21:05,934 --> 00:21:08,801
Do you take Jamie to be
your lawful wedded wife,
438
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:12,334
(DRILLING)
in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer,
439
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,033
to love, honor and cherish
until death do you part?
440
00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:21,934
You know, I really do.
441
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,701
LENNY: And do you, Jamie,
take Paul to be your lawful wedded husband
442
00:21:25,767 --> 00:21:29,968
in sickness and in health,
for richer and for poorer,
443
00:21:30,033 --> 00:21:33,334
(DRILLING)
to love, honor and cherish until death do you part?
444
00:21:34,634 --> 00:21:36,133
Yeah.
445
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,767
Now, by the power
vested in me,
446
00:21:38,834 --> 00:21:40,701
a little Con Ed humor,
447
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,033
by the State of New York,
448
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:46,267
I pronounce you
man and wife.
449
00:21:46,334 --> 00:21:48,133
(DRILLING CONTINUES)
450
00:21:52,701 --> 00:21:56,167
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,may I now presentfor the first time
451
00:21:56,234 --> 00:21:58,300
Paul and Jamie Buchman.
452
00:21:58,367 --> 00:22:00,501
(CLAPPING)
453
00:22:00,567 --> 00:22:03,133
(WHAT THE WORLD
NEEDS NOW PLAYING)
454
00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:08,267
* What the world needs now
455
00:22:09,167 --> 00:22:12,100
* Is love sweet love
456
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,100
* It's the only thing
457
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:18,434
* That there's justtoo little of
458
00:22:18,501 --> 00:22:21,334
* But what the world needs now
459
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,033
* Is love sweet love
460
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,267
* No, not just for some
461
00:22:28,334 --> 00:22:31,567
* But for everyone
462
00:22:31,634 --> 00:22:35,167
* What the world needs now
463
00:22:35,234 --> 00:22:37,968
* Is love sweet love
464
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:41,167
* No, not just for some
465
00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:44,267
* But for everyone
466
00:22:49,934 --> 00:22:52,267
(HOW SWEET IT IS PLAYING)
467
00:22:52,334 --> 00:22:56,400
* How sweet it isto be loved by you
468
00:22:57,367 --> 00:22:59,067
* Yes, baby
469
00:23:00,734 --> 00:23:04,834
* How sweet it isto be loved by you
470
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:09,000
* Ooh, baby
471
00:23:09,067 --> 00:23:12,901
* I needed the shelterof someone's arms
472
00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:16,200
* And there you were
473
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:19,300
* I needed someone
474
00:23:19,367 --> 00:23:22,467
* To understandmy ups and downs
475
00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:24,667
* And there you were
476
00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:29,501
* With sweet love and devotion
477
00:23:30,601 --> 00:23:33,400
* Deeply touching my emotions
478
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:41,300
* I want to stop
479
00:23:41,367 --> 00:23:46,667
* Hey, now, how sweet it isto be loved by you
480
00:23:47,734 --> 00:23:49,567
* Oh, baby
481
00:23:49,617 --> 00:23:54,167
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