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1
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,100
Bye, Paul. Bye, Jamie.
Good night.
2
00:00:07,167 --> 00:00:08,968
PAUL: Good night, thanks.
JAMIE: I'll see you soon, you guys.
3
00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:10,801
MAN: Great party, huh?
Okay.
4
00:00:10,868 --> 00:00:13,534
Good night, you guys.
It was great to see... Thanks.
5
00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,033
Call us, okay?
Bye-bye.
6
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,801
12th street
and 5th Avenue, please.
7
00:00:35,767 --> 00:00:37,334
How could I know?
8
00:00:41,534 --> 00:00:43,367
Do I look okay?
You look great.
9
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,634
Is my hair flat?
Not at all.
10
00:00:45,701 --> 00:00:47,434
It's supposed to be.
11
00:00:47,501 --> 00:00:49,200
Oh. It is.
12
00:00:50,701 --> 00:00:52,033
Okay, good night.
13
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,667
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you going?
14
00:00:53,734 --> 00:00:55,601
You said
you'd be here at 9:00. Yeah, so?
15
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,033
It's 9:02.
16
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,334
It's all couples.
17
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,601
Would you please
just give it a chance?
18
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,634
You brought
a present? Yes. It's her birthday.
19
00:01:03,701 --> 00:01:05,067
Give me a pen.
Give her a pen.
20
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,367
Give her a pen.
21
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,234
Oh, you're gonna
chip in for that?
22
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,968
Whatever.
Hey.
23
00:01:10,033 --> 00:01:12,133
Hey. Happy birthday.
Hi.
24
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,033
Happy birthday, you.
25
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,334
This is from us.
26
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,501
Oh.
27
00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:18,133
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
28
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,000
You didn't
have to do that. Don't be silly.
29
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:21,501
Do you guys have a lemon?
30
00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:24,334
A lemon. You know what,
I forgot it in my other pants.
31
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,367
It's okay. It's just that
the guacamole needs a little something.
32
00:01:27,434 --> 00:01:29,267
I'm sure it's fine.
No, she's right.
33
00:01:29,334 --> 00:01:30,467
I'm going to run
downstairs.
34
00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:32,934
Fran, Fran, relax.
Don't make yourself crazy.
35
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,734
I know. It's just
my first party without Mark
36
00:01:35,801 --> 00:01:39,300
and it's my birthday,
the rug shampooer was late, and there's no lemon.
37
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:42,467
Oh.
Yeah, well, your hair looks nice and flat.
38
00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:43,501
What?
39
00:01:45,868 --> 00:01:47,567
You told me
that was good.
40
00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:49,834
Your hair
looks beautiful, you look great,
41
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,968
and everybody
seems to be having a wonderful time.
42
00:01:52,033 --> 00:01:53,167
Oh, God.
What?
43
00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:54,567
The waiters are bunching.
44
00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:56,434
Fran.
I told them to circulate.
45
00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:57,868
BOB: Hey, guys!
46
00:01:57,934 --> 00:01:59,167
Hey.
Hey.
47
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,634
Help me.
I--I got it.
48
00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,067
Okay, it's Doris.
Doris
49
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:04,901
and, uh, Doris' husband.
50
00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:06,701
Hey, Jamie.
Hey, Paul.
51
00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:08,934
Hey, Doris. Hey, champ.
52
00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:12,467
We were just
thinking about you.
53
00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:14,434
We were in Florida...
For the holidays...
54
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:17,000
To visit the parents...
And we saw a restaurant
55
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:18,634
that had a sign that said
56
00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:22,133
BOTH: "Paul and Jamie's
Chicken Village."
57
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,033
Well, it wasn't us.
I'll tell you that.
58
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,400
Actually, it was pronounced
"Hymie."
59
00:02:25,467 --> 00:02:27,734
Like the Spanish.
But we still laughed.
60
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:29,834
So Florida, huh?
61
00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:31,968
Oh, it was like
a second honeymoon.
62
00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:33,367
Without the wedding.
Or the relatives.
63
00:02:33,434 --> 00:02:34,834
And all
the thank you notes.
64
00:02:35,968 --> 00:02:37,167
What?
What?
65
00:02:37,234 --> 00:02:39,834
Well, when we got back
from our honeymoon,
66
00:02:39,901 --> 00:02:41,868
I was so good about
sitting right down
67
00:02:41,934 --> 00:02:44,067
and writing all of our
thank you notes. I helped.
68
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:45,868
Yes. He offered to mail them.
69
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:48,400
See, I figured I'll drop
'em off at the post office on my way to the gym.
70
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:50,367
So then...
Zest.
71
00:02:50,434 --> 00:02:53,300
What's that?
It's the Zest story, right?
72
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:54,634
Yes, it is.
73
00:02:54,701 --> 00:02:55,901
We love that story.
74
00:02:56,734 --> 00:02:57,868
Tell it again.
75
00:02:57,934 --> 00:02:59,133
No, no. That's okay.
76
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:03,334
Well, it has been great
seeing you.
77
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,834
You, too.
Nice to see you.
78
00:03:04,901 --> 00:03:06,467
MAN: Hey, Bob, Doris.
BOTH: Hi!
79
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:07,667
Excuse us.
80
00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:11,367
Didn't they used to be
two people?
81
00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:13,167
I know. Did you noticed
how they kept finishing
82
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,400
each other's sentences?
Finishing each other's sentences?
83
00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:16,934
It's like
they're part of
84
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,167
a cult or something.
A cult or something. Really.
85
00:03:18,234 --> 00:03:19,334
When did that
happen to them?
86
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,000
Really. They're worse
than you.
87
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,000
What is that
supposed to mean?
88
00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:24,334
Nothing.
89
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,467
Hey, we are not like that.
90
00:03:26,534 --> 00:03:28,300
Yeah, right.
91
00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:29,734
We're not.
We're not.
92
00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:30,868
Ooh.
93
00:03:35,968 --> 00:03:38,601
Fran looked good, huh?
Mmm-hmm.
94
00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:40,400
Think she liked
her present?
95
00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:41,701
I think so.
96
00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:48,167
How could anybody say
we're like Doris and Doris' husband?
97
00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:51,033
Well, we're not.
It's ridiculous.
98
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,801
We just... We just like
being together.
99
00:03:52,868 --> 00:03:54,200
That's normal.
That's normal.
100
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,033
(EXHALES)
101
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,868
Tell you what.
How about I meet you back here later?
102
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,200
Good idea.
All right.
103
00:04:01,968 --> 00:04:03,834
Oh. Uh...
104
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:05,701
Are you're going to go...
I'm going that way.
105
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,033
All right, then.
106
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,934
WOMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what did you say?
107
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,501
So I said,
"You can't say that.
108
00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:18,067
"This is Pennsylvania."
109
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,334
(ALL LAUGHING)
110
00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:30,300
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
111
00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:34,200
Whoo!
112
00:04:34,267 --> 00:04:35,400
(COUGHING)
113
00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:40,801
IRA: Hey, Paulie.
Splinky.
114
00:04:40,868 --> 00:04:42,934
So are you and, uh,
you and Jamie fighting? No.
115
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,033
So what's she
doing over there? You're here.
116
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,467
What, we can't go to a party
and be there and here?
117
00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:49,133
Not that I know of.
118
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,701
Hey, hey, hey, who's that?
119
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:52,167
20 bucks she's a model.
120
00:04:52,234 --> 00:04:53,434
Which one?
Mine.
121
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,000
Come on, be my wing man.
122
00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:57,400
Oh, I--I'm not good
at this anymore.
123
00:04:57,467 --> 00:04:59,133
Come on, Paulie.
You were never good at this.
124
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,734
All you gotta do is
talk to her girlfriend.
125
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,834
(SIGHS)
126
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,801
All right. But, hey.
What?
127
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,834
Do not tell them
I'm a director.
128
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:07,200
But it works.
129
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,934
For you, yeah. But remember,
remember Loretta?
130
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,934
What, the singer?
I liked her.
131
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,434
Yeah, 'cause you didn't get
20 minutes of South Pacific on your answering machine.
132
00:05:15,501 --> 00:05:17,300
All right, fine.
So be an accountant.
133
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,367
Hey, hey. I'm not going to
be an accountant.
134
00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:21,267
All right, so be a chef.
135
00:05:21,334 --> 00:05:23,067
I wanna be a doctor.
136
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:24,334
Good.
From Brazil.
137
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,801
Hey, don't push it.
Come on.
138
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,067
Excuse us, ladies, uh,
139
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:31,100
have either of you
seen my wife?
140
00:05:31,167 --> 00:05:32,367
Uh, no.
141
00:05:32,434 --> 00:05:33,968
Well, that's good,
'cause I'm not married.
142
00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:37,400
How about yourself?
143
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:38,801
No. I'm Tracy. Hi.
144
00:05:38,868 --> 00:05:40,334
Tracy. Ira.
Carol.
145
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,601
Carol. And this is, uh,
my cousin Dr. Buchman.
146
00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:45,434
Here, here, here.
Let me buy you dinner.
147
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:47,601
No, thanks.
148
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,367
So what kind of
a doctor are you?
149
00:05:49,434 --> 00:05:50,834
What's that? What kind?
150
00:05:52,234 --> 00:05:53,367
Guess.
151
00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:54,834
Uh, GP.
152
00:05:54,901 --> 00:05:56,067
Uh, no.
153
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:57,267
Pediatrician.
154
00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:58,667
In fact, no.
155
00:05:59,934 --> 00:06:01,133
Ear, nose, and throat.
156
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,968
Uh, nope, nope and nope.
157
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,400
He's a chiropractor.
158
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:05,601
Oh.
Really?
159
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:07,801
Unless I'm lying.
160
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,100
Boy, I am-- I am really
glad to meet you.
161
00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:11,634
Well, thank you very much.
162
00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:13,133
You know,
my neck is killing me.
163
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,267
Ooh! Whoa!
164
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:23,868
Why the hell
are you taking Lexington?
165
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:26,601
Hey, don't yell at him
'cause you're mad at me.
166
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:29,167
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Hey, watch it, nimrod!
167
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,200
I'm fine. I had
a wonderful time. All right.
168
00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:38,033
How could anybody say
we're like Doris and Doris' husband?
169
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:39,667
Well, we're not.
It's ridiculous.
170
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:41,133
We just like
being together.
171
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,467
That's normal.
That's normal.
172
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,133
(WHISTLES)
173
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,434
Tell you what.
Let's take a little break, all right?
174
00:06:47,501 --> 00:06:49,000
I'll meet you
back here later.
175
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:50,267
Good idea.
176
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:52,934
Hey.
177
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,534
I'll go...
I'm going that way.
178
00:06:54,601 --> 00:06:55,701
All right, then.
179
00:06:56,968 --> 00:06:58,601
Where's Paul?
He's over there.
180
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:00,701
Oh, no.
Don't ruin my party.
181
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,567
What are you
talking about?
182
00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:06,834
You two are going to
make up eventually. Just do it now.
183
00:07:06,901 --> 00:07:09,000
We're not fighting.
We're mingling.
184
00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:11,234
Okay, fine. Just put on
a happy face.
185
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:14,334
Hey, there's
the birthday girl.
186
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,567
Oh, you didn't have to
do that.
187
00:07:16,634 --> 00:07:18,100
What was I,
raised by wolves?
188
00:07:20,434 --> 00:07:21,601
So where's Paulie?
189
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:22,868
MAN: "...Pennsylvania."
190
00:07:22,934 --> 00:07:24,133
(ALL LAUGHING)
191
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,200
He's over there.
192
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:28,701
Oh.
193
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:31,234
What?
Oh, don't worry. You'll work it out.
194
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:35,767
Needs lemon.
195
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,534
(LAUGHS)
Oh. Well, thank you.
196
00:07:37,601 --> 00:07:40,033
Yeah. I just love lemon.
It's so versatile.
197
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,501
Don't you think?
198
00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:44,100
Yeah, I guess.
You guess?
199
00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,400
(STAMMERING)
No. Sure, it is.
200
00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:46,501
Yeah.
201
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,701
I mean, think about it.
It goes with fish.
202
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,501
It goes with hot tea,
iced tea.
203
00:07:52,567 --> 00:07:53,968
It really dresses up
a glass of water.
204
00:07:55,801 --> 00:07:58,534
Oh! I'm sorry.
Excuse me one second. Fran?
205
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,133
(CLEARS THROAT)
206
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,634
Wow.
Yeah?
207
00:08:02,701 --> 00:08:04,968
Oh, please
don't ruin my party.
208
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:07,367
I told you,
we're not fighting. Not that.
209
00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:10,501
Oh, my God.
210
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,300
I swear I didn't
invite him.
211
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,834
What is he doing here?
212
00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,667
I don't know.
213
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:18,033
I heard he's doing some
graphic work for Marsha. She must have brought him.
214
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,734
You know what?
It's fine, it's fine.
215
00:08:19,801 --> 00:08:21,200
Why wouldn't it be fine?
216
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,601
I broke up with him.
217
00:08:22,667 --> 00:08:23,901
I know.
I did.
218
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:25,334
I know.
219
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,968
I mean, it's like
ancient history.
220
00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:29,133
Please don't ruin
my party.
221
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,334
Listen, I am just going to
go and say hello
222
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,834
and get it over with.
I'll see you in a minute.
223
00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:39,133
WOMAN: Well, it has
been great seeing you.
224
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,300
Oh, God.
Sorry about that.
225
00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:42,467
Jamie.
226
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:44,400
Alan?
227
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,634
Hi.
Hi.
228
00:08:46,701 --> 00:08:48,200
Good to see you.
Yeah, you, too.
229
00:08:48,267 --> 00:08:50,000
Wow. You look
completely different.
230
00:08:50,067 --> 00:08:52,901
Your hair, it's...
Yeah, it's flat.
231
00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:54,634
That's a good flat, though.
I like it.
232
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,968
You shaved your, um...
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
233
00:09:00,234 --> 00:09:03,300
So I guess we're
pretty much caught up. Yeah.
234
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,100
Oh, no, no,
I hear you got married.
235
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:07,567
Two years.
Wow. Congratulations.
236
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,033
Thank you.
So, uh, where is he?
237
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,234
He's, um...
238
00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:13,367
Whoa!
239
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:14,634
Gosh, he's someplace.
240
00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,434
You took food?
241
00:09:31,501 --> 00:09:32,934
It's a cookie.
242
00:09:34,434 --> 00:09:36,300
Did you take
another one? No.
243
00:09:39,868 --> 00:09:41,300
Okay, now dab it.
244
00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:42,868
I'm dabbing it.
I'm dabbing it.
245
00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:44,534
All right, all right.
You want me to dab it?
246
00:09:44,601 --> 00:09:46,968
No, I want you to keep
pouring seltzer on my shoes.
247
00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,367
All right,
suit yourself.
248
00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:50,734
Now, where were we?
249
00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:52,334
My neck.
Your neck.
250
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,033
Great. Now what can we do
about this, doc?
251
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,667
Can't you give her
some kind of adjustment?
252
00:09:55,734 --> 00:09:58,434
Uh, sadly, no. Not without
my ultrasound equipment.
253
00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:00,801
Oh, please.
254
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,767
Listen...
Now, come on. You took the oath.
255
00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,467
Here. Let me
take this from you,
256
00:10:05,534 --> 00:10:06,868
and you, right?
257
00:10:06,934 --> 00:10:08,801
All right? Here we go.
258
00:10:08,868 --> 00:10:11,167
All right. This--This
may hurt for a second.
259
00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:12,334
All right?
260
00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,367
(CRACKING)
261
00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:23,968
(CRACKING)
262
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:27,634
How is that?
A little better?
263
00:10:27,701 --> 00:10:29,200
(STAMMERING) It really...
It's better.
264
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:30,634
Yeah.
Thank you.
265
00:10:30,701 --> 00:10:33,367
You know what?
Is there anyplace to grab a smoke around here?
266
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,801
A smoke? Actually, yeah.
Out on the veranda. May I escort you?
267
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:36,901
Okay.
268
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,701
So.
So.
269
00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:44,934
So.
270
00:10:45,968 --> 00:10:47,501
Here's a funny
little story.
271
00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:51,701
When my wife
and I came back from our honeymoon...
272
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,434
Ah, you're married.
Yeah.
273
00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:55,868
So, uh, she had done
all the thank you notes, written them right away.
274
00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:57,133
Then she gave them
to me to mail.
275
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,934
So I put them in my gym bag
276
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,501
and I'm walking to the gym
and on my way
277
00:11:00,567 --> 00:11:01,968
I see at the Waverly Theater
278
00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:03,767
there's this movie
that I was... I--I wanted to see.
279
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,434
This, uh...
Some Italian thing.
280
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,267
The Tree...The Tree of...
281
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,567
Tree of... Something.
282
00:11:10,634 --> 00:11:11,901
Tree of... Something.
283
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,267
Something. Something.
Something in a tree.
284
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:16,601
Something in a tree.
285
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:19,367
A bush. Something
in a bush, bush tree.
286
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:21,567
Something... Anyway.
Uh, so...
287
00:11:21,634 --> 00:11:23,033
Birds of a Feather.
That's it.
288
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,200
Birds of a Feather.
You ever see that?
289
00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:27,868
No.
No. Oh, well.
290
00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:30,367
You didn't miss much.
291
00:11:30,434 --> 00:11:32,133
It was a little
disappointing.
292
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,400
So, uh, anyway, you know what?
Very nice to meet you.
293
00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:35,968
Yeah, you, too,
Dr. Buchman.
294
00:11:36,033 --> 00:11:37,300
It's Paul.
295
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:40,934
Oh, that's funny.
There's a director named Paul Buchman.
296
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,133
Is that right?
Yeah, I always wanted to work with him.
297
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,868
Let me guess.
You're an actress.
298
00:11:45,934 --> 00:11:48,767
No. I'm an
executive at NBC.
299
00:11:49,934 --> 00:11:51,300
Well, enjoy the party.
300
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:54,234
Just... Just one second.
301
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,133
Wow.
Having a good time?
302
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,501
Yeah. You?
Oh, yeah.
303
00:12:00,434 --> 00:12:02,067
Say the situation
was reversed... Okay.
304
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:03,934
...and you did
the exact same thing.
305
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,133
Then I would
be wrong.
306
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,634
But here the situation
is not reversed.
307
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:08,300
It's exactly as it was.
308
00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:10,033
So in this case,
the wrong person would be...
309
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,133
You anyway.
310
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,868
So he puts them
in his gym bag
311
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:17,434
and says he'll stop
at the post office 'cause it's right on his way.
312
00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:18,834
Which gym?
313
00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:20,868
Um, Health and Racquet.
314
00:12:20,934 --> 00:12:22,133
(CLEARS THROAT) Anyway.
315
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,501
So--So he's on his way
316
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,434
and he stops to see
Birds of a Feather.
317
00:12:25,501 --> 00:12:26,734
After the gym?
318
00:12:26,801 --> 00:12:28,167
No, instead.
319
00:12:28,234 --> 00:12:29,534
It's a brilliant film.
320
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:30,734
(CRACKING)
321
00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:37,334
Anyway, um...
322
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,200
So he, uh, he takes a bath.
323
00:12:39,267 --> 00:12:40,434
After the movie.
324
00:12:40,501 --> 00:12:42,767
No, no, no.
This is months later.
325
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:44,234
I don't think
I'm following you here.
326
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,534
Doesn't matter,
doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
327
00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:47,534
So you're going out
with Marsha?
328
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,067
Oh, no, no, no.
329
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,367
We're just
good friends.
330
00:12:50,434 --> 00:12:53,234
Oh, good. You know,
whatever makes you happy.
331
00:12:55,334 --> 00:12:56,968
Oh, I'm doing good.
Me, too.
332
00:12:58,234 --> 00:12:59,801
Really good.
Yeah, I am.
333
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,400
No, I--I meant me.
Yeah, I know. Me, too.
334
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,467
I don't know. Really good.
Really, really good.
335
00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:10,000
I'm doing album covers.
336
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:12,100
I started my own PR firm.
337
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:13,901
Peter Gabriel.
Coca Cola.
338
00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:18,133
You're handling
Coca Cola?
339
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,901
No, I'm just thirsty,
is the thing.
340
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,133
(CLEARS THROAT)
341
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,467
You know,
342
00:13:24,534 --> 00:13:26,734
we don't have to...
We don't have to do this anymore.
343
00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,601
You're right.
You're right.
344
00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:29,801
How are you really?
345
00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:31,868
Great.
Me, too.
346
00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:36,534
I was actually...
I was a little nervous
347
00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:38,267
about coming
here tonight.
348
00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:40,367
I thought things might be
a little awkward between us.
349
00:13:40,434 --> 00:13:42,501
Why?
350
00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:46,000
(STAMMERING)
Well, I just felt bad about the way I broke up with you.
351
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,267
(LAUGHING)
352
00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:51,033
Actually,
I broke up with you.
353
00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:53,534
Oh.
354
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,100
Right.
I did.
355
00:13:57,167 --> 00:14:00,033
No, no. I know.
No, don't give me that, because I did.
356
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,200
I'm agreeing.
357
00:14:02,267 --> 00:14:04,834
Okay. It was really
nice to see you.
358
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:06,467
You, too.
And I did.
359
00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:08,467
Okay.
360
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,000
Having a good time?
Yeah. You?
361
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:15,067
Yeah. Oh, sure.
362
00:14:16,968 --> 00:14:18,234
So who you been
talking to?
363
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:19,767
Friend of Fran's.
You?
364
00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:21,934
You know Ira.
365
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,133
So Alan, huh?
Yeah. That's all fine,
366
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,334
it's fine.
Good, good.
367
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,667
Why shouldn't it be?
It should.
368
00:14:32,734 --> 00:14:34,834
It is.
369
00:14:34,901 --> 00:14:36,868
So you wouldn't mind
if I went out with him? What?
370
00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:39,367
You told me
to meet people.
371
00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:41,100
He asked you out?
372
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:43,968
Yeah. I--I thought it was
a little weird, you know,
373
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:46,801
since he broke up
with you and everything. Wait, wait, wait.
374
00:14:46,868 --> 00:14:48,167
He said that?
375
00:14:48,234 --> 00:14:50,167
What?
That he broke up with me?
376
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:51,801
Yeah.
377
00:14:51,868 --> 00:14:53,734
I guess. Somebody did. Anyway.
378
00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:55,634
I told him I had to
check with you first.
379
00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:57,033
Well, you don't.
So I can?
380
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,901
No, no, no.
381
00:14:58,968 --> 00:15:00,834
Hi. How's your neck
doing?
382
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:03,634
Oh, good. Uh, well,
you were great.
383
00:15:03,701 --> 00:15:05,701
Well, beginner's luck.
384
00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:07,100
Here's the thing.
385
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,367
I didn't realize when I...
386
00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:10,801
Ira brought me over...
I didn't...
387
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,300
You know,
there was no...
388
00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:14,901
What do you do
at NBC exactly?
389
00:15:14,968 --> 00:15:16,434
I'm in charge
of miniseries.
390
00:15:19,534 --> 00:15:21,501
Okay, well,
you're gonna think this is very funny.
391
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:23,234
It's not that
story again, is it?
392
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,868
No, no. Not that one.
393
00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:29,367
Uh, okay, remember
the other Paul Buchman you wanted to meet?
394
00:15:29,434 --> 00:15:30,667
Hi, how are you?
395
00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:32,567
I don't get it.
396
00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:35,300
I'm, uh... I'm sort of him.
397
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:37,534
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
398
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:40,267
Okay, yeah.
That's real funny.
399
00:15:40,334 --> 00:15:41,968
No, no, no, seriously, truly.
400
00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:44,434
Truly. Ira, would you
please tell this woman what I do?
401
00:15:44,501 --> 00:15:45,701
He's a chiropractor.
402
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:49,434
What are you
trying to pull?
403
00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:51,868
Okay, look, here is my
Director's Guild card.
404
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:54,868
I swear. He does this to me
all the time.
405
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:56,868
Ira wanted to meet
your friend, so...
406
00:15:56,934 --> 00:15:59,434
He always does this.
He brings me to a party, then, you know,
407
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,400
he's chasing after
a beautiful woman. He sticks me with the other one.
408
00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:11,367
Not in any way to imply
that you are the other one.
409
00:16:11,434 --> 00:16:12,834
(STAMMERING) Not...
You're a very... I just...
410
00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:15,033
He put...
411
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,133
All I'm saying, look,
I am, I am, I am Paul Buchman.
412
00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:20,834
Trust me.
No one will ever know.
413
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,701
Scrod?
Royally.
414
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,234
No! No, no, no, no!
415
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,734
No, no, no!
Not at all.
416
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:38,767
Excuse me.
Could you please drive us into a pole?
417
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,567
(ALL SINGING
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU)
418
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,567
Oh, can I
have your wish? No!
419
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:45,801
(ALL CHEERING)
420
00:16:50,868 --> 00:16:52,367
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
421
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,200
Listen, uh,
422
00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,634
can I just say
I'm very bad at parties?
423
00:16:57,701 --> 00:17:00,701
Okay, okay. I mean,
I'm not very good at parties, either.
424
00:17:00,767 --> 00:17:02,100
They're the worst!
425
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:03,734
You know, ever since
my husband and I split up...
426
00:17:03,801 --> 00:17:05,501
Oh, sorry.
No, it's fine.
427
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,901
It's just these things,
you know?
428
00:17:06,968 --> 00:17:08,167
He always
got me through them.
429
00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:10,968
We had this whole
sort of sign language worked out.
430
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:12,367
Oh, hey, just, uh,
did it ourselves.
431
00:17:12,434 --> 00:17:13,601
It's time to go now.
432
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,167
The old "time to go."
There's, uh,
433
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,300
"You got a little thing
on your nose."
434
00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:19,501
There's this one
"I'm talking to the most
435
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:21,167
"boring person in the world.
436
00:17:21,234 --> 00:17:22,968
"Pull me out of this hell."
437
00:17:23,033 --> 00:17:24,634
And, uh,
the other sign we have
438
00:17:24,701 --> 00:17:26,000
is this which is, uh,
439
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:28,100
"Swing on anything.
He's stealing second."
440
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:30,434
Why don't you call me
at my office on Monday?
441
00:17:30,501 --> 00:17:32,534
Really?
Yeah. Well, we have this project coming up
442
00:17:32,601 --> 00:17:34,033
I think you might
be perfect for.
443
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,067
Oh, that would be great.
Just...
444
00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:47,868
Wow. You still carry
that damn tea.
445
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,534
Want some?
No, thanks.
446
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:51,200
I just came in
to say good night.
447
00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:53,701
It was great to see you,
and I broke up with you.
448
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:57,234
Okay.
449
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:59,334
So then why did you
tell my sister that you broke up with me?
450
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,000
Obviously it's not that
important anymore, is it?
451
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,267
No. I just
hate to see you
452
00:18:02,334 --> 00:18:03,968
walking through your life
this confused.
453
00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:05,467
I was there.
Yeah, so was I.
454
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:07,834
I remember it perfectly.
We had that huge fight
455
00:18:07,901 --> 00:18:09,367
in the middle of Aida...Rigoletto.
456
00:18:09,434 --> 00:18:11,467
Yeah, Rigoletto
with elephants? Hello?
457
00:18:11,534 --> 00:18:13,200
Fine.
Okay.
458
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:16,434
So then, we have this big
fight in the cab.
459
00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:18,234
Yeah. Which is why
I dropped you off.
460
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,100
Right. And then
the next morning I woke up,
461
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,234
called you and told you
it was over. Oh, I called you.
462
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:24,434
After I called you.
After I left you a message.
463
00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:26,133
After I left
you a message.
464
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,467
Well, I didn't get
that message. I called you right after breakfast.
465
00:18:28,534 --> 00:18:29,834
Okay, I called you
when I woke up.
466
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,200
Well, when did you wake up?
7:30.
467
00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:32,567
What time did you
have breakfast? 7:00.
468
00:18:32,634 --> 00:18:33,834
Okay, what did you have?
469
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,834
It was five years ago.
I don't remember.
470
00:18:35,901 --> 00:18:38,367
Just answer
the question.
471
00:18:38,434 --> 00:18:40,400
I don't know. Waffles.
Aha!
472
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,167
Aha, what?
You should have said a muffin.
473
00:18:45,234 --> 00:18:47,734
Because waffles
take at least 40 minutes to order and eat.
474
00:18:47,801 --> 00:18:50,467
That's if you don't
send them back three times, which you always did, anyway.
475
00:18:50,534 --> 00:18:53,300
Which means the earliest
you could have called me is 7:40,
476
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:56,033
which is 10 minutes
after I broke up with you.
477
00:18:59,501 --> 00:19:00,901
Wow.
What?
478
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,701
You're still nuts.
479
00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,467
I'm not nuts.
480
00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:12,968
I'm thorough.
481
00:19:14,334 --> 00:19:16,234
I just wanted to set
the record straight.
482
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,000
Now you can go.
483
00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,734
Well, fine, because
I was going anyway.
484
00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:21,667
Well, now you may.
Thank you.
485
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,934
Is everything okay?
It's perfect, it's over, it's settled.
486
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,133
I never
have to see him again! Good for you.
487
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,534
Paul's doing that thing
with his watch, so we're gonna go.
488
00:19:32,601 --> 00:19:34,334
Okay. I miss that.
489
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,734
What?
The ride home
490
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:38,267
after a party
with somebody, you know?
491
00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:41,634
The way you talk
about everybody, put down their food.
492
00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:43,434
Please don't
put down my food.
493
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:46,868
We won't.
Happy birthday.
494
00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,067
Thanks.
495
00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:51,267
You ready?
Yes. Let me get the coats.
496
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:52,601
I'm gonna check on Lisa.
497
00:19:56,534 --> 00:19:58,234
Oh, hi.
498
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,434
Hi!
Good scrod.
499
00:20:00,501 --> 00:20:02,133
Oh?
Do you like fish?
500
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,901
Sure.
What kind?
501
00:20:03,968 --> 00:20:05,701
I don't know.
I like halibut.
502
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,701
Really?
Yeah. Well, not as much as flounder.
503
00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:10,000
Good.
But more than pike. Well, a little more than pike,
504
00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:12,167
although, not as much
as grouper.
505
00:20:12,234 --> 00:20:14,868
Okey-dokey. Hey, honey.
Ready to go?
506
00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:16,868
Yeah. Just a sec.
Did you meet Carol?
507
00:20:16,934 --> 00:20:18,667
Yes. Yes, I did.
508
00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:22,868
Your hair looks great.
Really. Stop fussing.
509
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:25,133
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
510
00:20:27,734 --> 00:20:30,667
You're a beautiful
woman. Stop fussing. Seriously.
511
00:20:30,734 --> 00:20:32,334
Paul?
Yes.
512
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,934
Did I give you
my card? Yes.
513
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,167
May I have it back?
514
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,300
Yes.
515
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,601
How could I know?
516
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:45,367
The woman likes
to talk about fish.
517
00:20:45,434 --> 00:20:47,133
You can't humor her?
518
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,634
I was about to faint.
519
00:20:48,701 --> 00:20:52,667
Little fish talk,
small price to pay for a miniseries.
520
00:20:52,734 --> 00:20:54,834
What are you doing
giving our signals away?
521
00:20:54,901 --> 00:20:56,434
I was being charming.
522
00:20:56,501 --> 00:20:59,767
Why didn't you
just give her my locker combination?
523
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:01,100
I tried everything else.
524
00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:03,701
She didn't even laugh
at the thank you note story.
525
00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:06,534
Well, did you tell it right?
526
00:21:06,601 --> 00:21:08,868
I think I can tell a story
without your help.
527
00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:12,334
You gave me
the thank you notes.
528
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,300
I put them
in my gym bag to mail.
529
00:21:14,367 --> 00:21:15,901
On the way to the gym,
530
00:21:15,968 --> 00:21:18,501
I stopped at the movies
to see... What is the name of that?
531
00:21:18,567 --> 00:21:20,167
It doesn't matter.
The point is,
532
00:21:20,234 --> 00:21:22,133
you didn't
get to the gym for six months,
533
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,567
then you took a bath.
534
00:21:23,634 --> 00:21:26,067
No. No, no, no, no.
You keep jumping that part.
535
00:21:26,133 --> 00:21:30,000
First, after six months,
I realized, I first realized that I forgot to mail them,
536
00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:31,400
only I didn't
want you to know.
537
00:21:31,467 --> 00:21:33,400
So I thought I'd
make them look weathered,
538
00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:35,534
you know, like the post office
lost them or something.
539
00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:37,100
Right, right, right.
Then you took the bath.
540
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:38,567
Yeah, then I took the bath.
541
00:21:38,634 --> 00:21:40,300
And I took
the envelopes into the bathtub
542
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:43,367
with me to...
To weather them up. And then you came in...
543
00:21:43,434 --> 00:21:45,467
I came in and I saw you
sitting in the bathtub
544
00:21:45,534 --> 00:21:47,067
with 75 envelopes
around you
545
00:21:47,133 --> 00:21:48,834
and I said,
"What are you doing?"
546
00:21:48,901 --> 00:21:52,467
You said,
"What are you doing?" I said, "I'm, uh, I'm writing to Zest.
547
00:21:52,534 --> 00:21:54,601
"I'm just so pleased
with their work."
548
00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:56,267
(LAUGHING)
549
00:21:59,133 --> 00:22:01,434
Where was this guy
all night?
550
00:22:01,501 --> 00:22:03,200
That's a good story.
551
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,067
Here.
552
00:22:08,934 --> 00:22:10,200
Thank you.
553
00:22:12,501 --> 00:22:15,067
I'm sorry.
Well, how could you know?
554
00:22:17,601 --> 00:22:20,300
It was a good party,
though, other than that, wasn't it?
555
00:22:20,367 --> 00:22:22,434
All things considered.
556
00:22:22,501 --> 00:22:24,300
You talk to anybody?
557
00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:27,100
Couple of people.
One guy I liked.
558
00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:29,067
I told him
we'd have dinner with him next week.
559
00:22:29,133 --> 00:22:30,300
Who?
560
00:22:30,367 --> 00:22:31,467
Hi, I'm Paul.
561
00:22:32,701 --> 00:22:33,868
PAUL: How could I know?
562
00:22:33,918 --> 00:22:38,468
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