Original subtitles

Hello.

To the side of the town,

they say there is a lunatic in the mountain, that he lives in a tree.

Do you know him?

Don't speak to him, he's from the Treasury!

He's not crazy.

Then you know him?

I have heard talk of him, but it's been 20 years since I've been to the mountain.

And nobody has seen him here.

Wait. I'll take a couple of snaps.

OK, I'll do this meanwhile.

- This is a hairstyle that's more handsome. - Don't look at the camera.

What do you want!?

Some say 4 years, others 6. But it's not clear when he arrived.

They call him the giant because he lifts things

- only ten men could lift. - Have you seen him?

Me? Are you joking?

No woman would count.

And the men stay far away when they go for firewood.

He can read your thoughts.

Seriously?

And when he wants, he's invisible.

Yes, yes.

For that reason almost nobody has seen him.

Clearly, if he is invisible...

And what else can he do?

Miracles, charms, cures, prophecies?

No, but to a boy here,

he told him the day his uncle would die.

- And did he die? - No, but he broke a leg.

And who is that boy? Can we find him?

Who, Rodrigo? Sure.

He lives at the bottom of the Valley of Chestnut Trees.

By car, it takes five minutes.

Thank you.

And why aren't you afraid of him?

Afraid of what? He is my friend. I talk to him... almost every day.

-How am I doing here? -Very well.

- How high up are we? - Very high.

The highway ends here. We walk the rest of the way.

Oh, what wonderful news.

-You're not happy? -Clearly.

I don't want to walk.

In a couple of minutes, we're there. No big deal.

-Did you get the zoom? - I've got it.

Careful where you step. Loose rocks.

Imagine. Following a lunatic

to look for another lunatic.

Clue me in if you can.

-Is it much further? - No, a couple of steps.

Woops.

Go.

Go on ahead. I'll wait for you here.

-Come on. Come on. - Fine.

"Two steps", right. More like K-2.

I think we need a sherpa here. Listen, I can't take any more.

I'm going to collapse.

Here we are.

We say... "arrived."

Yes, we have arrived.

I shit on their dead.

They say he reads thoughts. If he can read

what I think now...

There's nobody here.

Fine! We can't finish the assignment

because the hermit is absent. Let's go!

Who are you?

- We are from the TV. - I don't have one. Get out!

Is he really invisible?

Ruzzichetto! Film this!

I don't see a fucking thing.

Good day. We've come for an interview that will be broadcast on TV 7,

- and maybe.. - Get out!

- Do you smoke? - Get out!!

I'll just ask you some questions. Do you think I can get...?

You'll neither ask me a question nor get anything.

- The camera! - I...

I warned you. Do you understand now?

Are you still here? Get out! All of you!

-Vanish!

-He's throwing stones! -He's crazy!

Get out of here!

I'm too old to be a war reporter!

- Why have you brought them here? - They gave me a thousand liras.

Have you heard?

Rodrigo has taken their 30 pieces of silver.

But Judas threw it away!

Judas! I am not Judas.

Has he left the cabin? Can you see?

No, it's too high there. He's not a fool.

Let me see.

Fucking cold. But everything is for the glory.

There he is. Film it.

He's so ugly. Like an ogre.

It was not possible to do an interview

with the hermit who has lived for years in the Soratte..

Instead of responding to our questions

he threatend to kill us. But we did manage

to film with the telephoto lens

this journal.

The mysterious Pietro,

named the Giant.

Who is he and where does he come from?

Nobody knows.

He's taken the solitary and primitive life of a Robinson Crusoe

voluntarily shipwrecking himself close

to civilization, living off the land;

and a goat, his only partner.

He lives like a savage.

He eats, he drinks, he plays with eggs.

Reduced to the minimum necessities,

he occupies his time cultivating exceptional gifts

not normally thought for a 45-year-old man.

Like a modern Tarzan, he jumps from rock to rock

like a free animal in its natural element.

He also has certain singular occupations,

like the bucolic greeting of his mysterious and contemplative religion,

halfway between Zen and yoga.

Unfortunately, we could not record his flute. What you hear

is a faithful imitation of the maestro Gazzelloni.

Every day, at dusk, he ascends to the highest branch in a tree,

and from there attends the setting of the sun like a spectacular show.

But the sensible conclusion,

and maybe more probable, is that his acts don't have any meaning.

And that Pietro the Giant, the loner,

the voluntary shipwreck,

has probably not been in his right mind for years.

A madman, then? Perhaps. But a happy madman.

- Wasn't that beautiful? - I didn't understand anything.

It was like watching you,

like you were inside the television.

The whole country saw you. You were handsome,

- big as an oak. - No matter how far you run away,

they always manage to find you.

And what did they say?

That I am a demented, hey? A fool.

No, no, that not.

They said that you were crazy.

You see? I'm a lunatic, a savage, a caveman!

Or a saint. They'll also say that soon.

"The Robinson Crusoe of the mountain." Don't say that they didn't say that.

Right, they call you that. Robitso....

Who told you that? Did you hear it from far away?

Didn't need to.

Italy produces little grain because it

cultivates rhetoric.

It is our national treasure.

With the pig that you are, how do you

make such white milk?

I have caught you, trout.

It comes, it goes.

I thank the intention, but you are too small.

Come back when you grow up.

Are you Pietro Breccia?

You should accompany us to Rome

for certain formalities. Just a few days.

We saw you on TV. There is a process pending against you.

You come, you answer some questions and you come back.

The air is good here, oh yeah.

Have you heard us?

We have an order of appearance,

so you have to accompany us now.

- The Jeep is at the end of the road. - I didn't bring them!

They found you on their own.

All because of the thousand liras.

And TV at the barracks.

Well, let's hear of what horrible thing I'm accused.

But we go on foot.

Five years ago,

I did not go into my car.

And I don't plan to go into yours.

But it's 40 kilometers to Rome.

I said on foot!

Take care of the garden, and the rooster and the hen.

- This I'll take. - Don't worry.

Go in peace. And the goat?

Rosina comes with me. Good-bye.

- Let's go. - He's crazy.

Better not to get in his way.

In 1 km, he'll surely get tired and get in the car.

Come on!

Let's go!

Isn't that the crazy we saw on TV?

What are you doing?

Walk on the striped lines. Come on!

1962. Guilty of illegal passing.

3000 lira initial judgment. No appeal.

10,000 lire for reparation of costs.

No protest, records sent for execution.

Omitted income statement for years 63, 64,

65, 66. Penal Decree, transmitted for execution,

and recorded as failure to appear.

Citation for going against

the Office of Public Safety on seven dates..

Seven citations.

Complaint for failure to appear.

Charged with... Where are you going?

Missing Declaration of Domicile.

Violation of the duties of family support.

This crime, as you know, is a public action,

prosectable without a complaint of a party

who does not appear. - No smoking.

You are yellow and feeble and you continue smoking.

Get to the point, judge.

Is this going to be quick, or am I going up the mountain?

I don't have time to waste.

First of all,

change your tone, or I will add to this beautiful file

another complaint for contempt.

And since you're in such a hurry,

I'll please you immediately.

Tazzullo, call a judicial agent.

Notify the gentleman of the decree of judicial presentation.

"Pietro Breccia is cited to appear in court

on the 28th at 9:00 am in the reparations room.

Can't it be today?

Why not tomorrow?

Another day? Fine.

I'm releasing myself.

Where's my goat?

- It's the guy from TV. - Hermit, will you give me an autograph?

Hey, you're beautiful, man!

He looks like his goat.

I'll join the protest, man.

How long are you staying?

The short skirts were taken.

What's eating my flowers?

A goat.

He seems the image of St. Roque with a dog.

Good thing you know what to expect!

Where are you going dressed like that?

Don't worry. Look at mine.

See...

Bravo, you learn fast.

Apply yourself.

I leave the oxen and come to the city

just to see a dog take a piss.

What a race!

Watch out.

Although it looks like a dog, it's a wolf.

If you were on foot you would already have arrived.

Now you'll be late,

tired, and in a terrible humor.

And what do you care?

Don't you see? You're not happy.

So I'm not happy.

And if you don't get out, I'll break this over your head.

Do you want to break it? Wait, let me.

What a disgusting city.

Breathe with your nose, Rosina, or your milk will be soured.

You see?

I worked here.

And on the 28th day, I'll be judged for evasion.

Sir Magistrate, judges, public, and lawyers.

Five years ago, I was like you.

I was, and you can check it, a perfect citizen.

I also had a car, of course.

I consumed more tires than shoes.

A salaried employee, I came every day

to the office at 8:30 am.

Locked in the elevator with my colleagues,

right on time, I caught the last of the flu bug.

The air was conditioned.

Too hot in the winter and too cold in the summer.

And it was this way for eight hours.

For 200,000 a month, I was a trained monkey

I labored like a one-armed pianist

on the calculator, not using

in that work, like the rest of the workers of the world,

any of the higher faculties of man.

Mine was, so to speak, a frantic leisure.

If I stopped to light a cigarette (and I smoked 80 a day),

Mr. Marcaccini,

the invisible chief accountant who saw everything

immediately called me back to work, prohibiting

me from "defrauding" the company for those few seconds.

At night, I enjoyed the warmth of my family

or, I should say, I bombed out in front of the TV for three hours.

The decisions were already made.

"Altruistic" groups decided

what the best thing was for the consumer.

And my wife was the perfect consumer.

If my concerns for the payments were maximum,

the occasions of her getting tired at home were minimum:

Today's housewife has nine fingers too many.

Only one is necessary to use the button on the appliances: the juicer,

the dishwasher, the vacuum, meat grinder, ice crusher, electric knife.

When that damned 4 million kitchen

gave birth to my food, I could finally enjoy culinary happiness:

a frozen black fillet staring at me with sad eyes,

covered in plastic wrap.

- Luisa! - Yes.

I am here! - He mustn't find out.

- Where is Marco? - He's out, as usual.

But don't be tired, come back to bed.

Luisa, don't lie. Marco is gone and he's not coming back.

But I don't blame him.

In this house, he had only incomprehension, mistrust, bitterness...

And what about me? What did I have?!

I sometimes invited my wife to an intimate dinner

in a nice, calm restaurant.

- Our coffees? - Listen, I only have two hands!

You lived on the frontline.

You could die not just crossing the street,

but less heroically: sending a letter or a declaration.

Excuse me! Hey, I was here first!

Biting me!?

Fortunately, at night in my loft, the noise of the city was not heard.

On Sunday we went to a calm beach to relax.

The inventions of the hardest century:

the short week and free time.

After 4 hours in the car to go 20 km,

we could enjoy

an umbrella in the 40th row, and swim

in a sea full of oil.

After a quick pasta

filled with sand,

back into the car

to avoid the rush of traffic.

One of those Sundays, July 25, 1963,

we were stuck for two hours in a jam from the back of the sea

of motorized Italy.

And my wife spoke,

and she spoke of her sister's new refrigerator,

more beautiful than ours,

and of her friend Valeria who had a wig

much prettier than hers; Of Marcaccini,

who had a nicer car than mine.

Because yes, it was that day, your Honor..

- Who hit you? - You!

- You ran into me, asshole! - Who's an asshole!?

Get in your car!

Come on, you don't want to spar.

I'm thankful you're not my grandfather!

Get off of there! Get in the car, once and for all.

It was that day, in that moment.

Wake up!

Come on!

Why are you honking?

Go already!

What's happening?

In that moment, I felt I couldn't take it anymore.

I told my wife I was out of cigarettes and I was going to buy some.

- Ice creams, Pepsi Cola... - I'll be right back.

But I knew I would never return.

Ice creams!

Ice creams, Pepsi Cola, cup of coffee!

Colacicchi.

Ah, hello. Who are you?

Pietro Breccia! What happened, were you ill? I see you're OK.

Now you have a dog? A partridge-hunting one?

If you could see what I did for myself. People are envious.

Do you remember Pascuttini?

Who, "Mediocrity and Disorder?" Of course, I remember him.

He got sent to the exchange office.

And I had seniority, capish?

For that fault, I now spend my life working overtime.

- You'll end up making a bomb. - Sooner or later.

- It's late. Aren't you coming? - I'm into something else now.

I'm happy to have seen you.

You call me and we'll get together. Here, you end up losing all your friends

because you fight day and night against envy.

Good-bye, Pietro. The goatee suits you.

Because of the envy. The envy!

It's the envy.

Nice raincoat. I want one like that.

288, 289, 290,

291,

292,

293, 294,

295, 296,

297,

298, 299, 300.

For proper cokking, you have to count to 300.

To come with me, you have to count to 3.000.

A fair rate. But apart from that, you're not my type.

Like shopping, I'm sorry,

it no longer interests me.

I understand. You don't have a lira. Bye!

Rome would be beautiful

with less Romans.

You see, I can take it!

Are you afraid?

Hey, wait!

You think you're leaving me here?

What are you doing, sleeping?

Waiting for someone?

Where do you come from?

What you are, a suicide or something like that?

You're here to kill yourself, aren't you?

Maybe later, I'll be in the mood.

I once tried that, you know?

I closed my eyes,

and wham! Cut myself with a kitchen knife.

But I only cut my watch strap.

Got a cigarette? I love

motorcycles. Do you..? - Hey!

I'm not waiting for anybody,

I come from the mountain, I don't plan to commit suicide,

I don't smoke

and I hate motorcycles.

Do you know what time it is?

It'll be dawn in 3 or 4 hours.

And what do I do?

If I don't get home soon, the old man will throw a fit!

- You don't have a car, do you? - Exactly.

- Where do you live? - Here.

It's not bad.

Damn, what bad luck!

From here to my house is 10,000 km.

Then you better hurry.

Thank you - I already know that.

But I can't walk. I broke my ankle when I fell.

Damn it!

If I don't get home, I'm in trouble.

Why do parents have to exist?

Don't look at me, I'm not going to cry.

-Get up. -What are you doing?

- Let me down! - I want to congratulate your father

on such a fighter... Which way?

Come on, goat. We're leaving.

That wasn't a dog? Yuck!

I hope it's less than 10,000 km.

Where did you leave your pants?!

Tell me the truth. Have you escaped from an asylum?

Yes, but they're coming to take me back.

- Is it much longer? -No, here on the left.

But what kind of place is this?

It's Guidonia City. I live here.

The pain is gone.

Where is your father?

He doesn't live here. We haven't seen each other for 3 years.

Then nobody will throw a fit at you?

And if I throw a fit at you?

I would like it.

Come on.

Concrete monster....

Moloch.

Pain machine...

Moloch.

Incomprehensible ocean of blood and money.

Moloch.

- Jungle of antennas. - Moloch.

This ugly German is called Magnus.

Once we warmed up a little, he became my boyfriend.

You thought a long time before coming to us.

I am not a long-hair.

My hair is only a little long.

Isn't he the craziest?

Come on, stay here. Sleep in a car.

If we begin to welcome those of your age

this place will end being an asylum.

Warm hospitality... and spontaneous.

I like it. I'll stay.

Radioactive sphinx,

stinking rain cloud.

Moloch.

Come on, Rosina, behave yourself.

Trust no one.

I think you're the only lady in the place.

Excuse me. With your permission, I'll sleep here.

I request it kindly. I don't want to be abrupt.

Out.

Nice way to host people.

I don't intend to host anyone..

And you go without saying goodbye. Great.

You were very busy. You didn't need me to give you good night.

Come on, I was only faking.

Because you faked so well, I believed you.

I don't think of Magnus as a husband.

Ah, next you'll say:

"like a brother."

You are a true calamity.

Don't you see? How can the young be gallant

if the old are so clumsy?

The carnal temptations no longer interest me. Five years ago...

I conquered that wisdom,

I mastered that beast.

You mean,

that in five years...

never...?

Never.

Listen to me.

Although I no longer have the appetite,

I can still distinguish the smell of a good meal.

But I refuse to partake because my principles prevent me!

Is that clear?

Well, then go to bed with your principles.

"He has become wise.."

You know what I call that wisdom?

I can imagine!

Exactly. Just like that.

Moloch.

Johnny!

Remind me to fix that door.

Very good, congratulations.

Ah, the Viking. Excuse me, what did you say?

I know everything.

What luck.

Even Socrates said,

he knew nothing.

- I speak of last night. - And?

Maggie told me.

You took her by force in the camper.

Magnus, you can rest easy.

Don't have more horns than you had last night.

Will you quit it, you idiots?!

Come on, come on! Out!

Scram!

I'll destroy you!

But who has who?

Mister, excuse me.

- Are you the director? - Are you looking for your son?

Yes, do you know him? Romolo Morellini.

- I don't have the pleasure. - My God, what do I do?

He always runs away from home.

He sold his father's rifle to buy a guitar.

Although it was maybe better. If not, my husband might have shot himself one day.

He worked in a restaurant.

He was fired for his long hair.

His sister also goes astray, but at least she makes money.

It's him!

There he is!

Romol�!

Handsome, my mama's boy. Come on, let's go home.

No, mommy. No.

Why do you want to give me this displeasure?

If you return, I'll make you an egg cream.

- And beans with bacon that you.. - Wait over there.

I'll try to convince him. He'll come, mommy.

Come here! I'll give you beans with bacon!

I'm not your mommy! I'll grind you to a pulp!

To you, to mommy, to daddy, and to

whoever else you have floating around

that way. Bacon!

Bacon! Where are you going?

Come here, asshole!

Get back to it.

Get out of there, weakling.

Mommy!

- Come on, keep walking. - Mommy!

- Mommy! - Romol�!

My Romoletto!

- Here he is. - My God!

A good boy. Came all by himself.

Thank you, thank you, director.

Don't run away from home again, hey, handsome?

Come on, let's go. What I've been through!

At home, we'll settle things. You'll see!

- Daddy! - When your father finds out... !

Another rifle will be bought on purpose. Let's go!

Take this, and this!

Do you like it? A Guzzi. A friend has given it to me.

When it gets going, nothing can stop it.

Try hitting a wall.

You'll see if it stops or not.

The comedy kills me, I swear.

Have you seen Magnus today?

Yes, he knew about our rollicking night of love.

He made a good scene, ay?

Need a ride? Where are you going?

Nowhere. I'm walking.

Healthy principles: chastity and giant marathon.

What a happy life.

Goodbye. Have fun. Ah, gasoline!

Would you have a thousand liras?

I left my wallet at home...

five years ago.

What are you doing, eating rabbits? For God's sake!

A moment, please.

A thousand liras.

You see? If you're bad, that's the nut that will take you.

Hello, Tiziana.

I see you're in good form.

You haven't changed anything,

- down to the color of your hair. - I can't say the same.

From what I see, it's always the color of the hair.

- You still living there? - No.

You've done very well.

- That house wasn't me... - Dehydrated!

They take a big cabbage, remove the water

and it stays in a small ball.

Imagine, here's 2 kilos of potatoes.

- Excuse me. - Let me go by.

-Get off! -What are you.. ?

- Go to the right. - He's pushing me back.

Let me by.

Grandma, you have to unhook yours. Don't push, quiet. Come on.

So, in a few days I'm standing trial.

And then I'll go back to the mountain, of course.

And you?

Don't you have anything to tell me?

What do you want me to tell you?

Maybe to wonder if you found cigarettes that day.

If you expect me to beg you to come back, get ready.

I could just stand you when you were civilized.

Imagine now that you're dressed like a trogoldyte. By the way,

where did you leave your club?

You're right to be this way.

I recognize that I didn't behave as a model husband.

Yes, in that I agree.

And it wasn't worth it to leave a woman for a goat.

I didn't leave you.

I left everything. It's different.

What could I say to you,

"Come with me"? Like Tarzan and Company.

It would have been stupid to accept.

I wouldn't have been so stupid to ask you!

That guy Peppino still coming to eat on Sundays?

No, we fight.

He's crazier than you.

That's why I defend.

You're happy with the man you live with now?

Me? why?

Why do you think that I...?

Because you had a reason to look for someone else,

because you didn't denounce me for abandonment,

and because you bought strawberries.

You're allergic to strawberries.

3.000.

Take it.

Is this supposed to be money?

And is this supposed to be food?

Take it, young lady.

Give me a charity.

Give me a charity.

- Give me... - Sorry, friend.

Here.

- Hello, teacher. - Who are you?

Somebody that wants to know you. I saw you on TV and you're brilliant.

I liked it a lot. Do you want a bite of this?

You have great power.

My name is Puccio Stanaberardi.

I am a journalist. Well, not exactly, I collaborate

with the Corriere of Civitavecchia.

What...? I only have that one.

And I make movies. Well, more like documentary souvenirs

for the tourists that vacation here.

- "We Two in Rome." Do you like it? - You finished badly.

I do more things: I discover talents, I'm a press agent,

artistic photographer, publicist... In other words..

You don't like donuts.

Of course not... Why wouldn't I like donuts?

It's true that I live off my sister, that she works to help me. Poor,

but my brain works. I think

the whole day. Now, for example,

when I saw you, I thought

- teacher... - My name is Pietro.

- Do you want sterilized mortadella? - I am vegetarian.

For example, listen to this:

an electric fork that winds up the spaghetti by itself.

A good idea, isn't it?

And a clock with three pointers that gives legal time and solar time.

I don't wear a watch and I don't eat spaghetti.

You and me together, we'll throw sparks.

I'm going to take my purchases to my sister. Where can I find you?

Listen. I am at the hotel residence of Bidonia City.

If you want to, come... But the money doesn't interest me.

"The money doesn't interest me."

This guy is crazy.

If you think that I'm crazy, you're wrong!

What are you doing? What are you eating?

And you?

What are you eating?

Your goat.

Want to try it?

You'll find out!

You're going to find out!

You don't like jokes.

Cannibals!

You're an offense to the eyes and the nose!

You will swallow the flowers.

I'll teach you "non-violence."

Cowards!

Well done!

I've not eaten anything.

Congratulations, Pietro.

You are not so doddering.

Abstinence improves the muscles.

Watch out!

Now I'm gonna like this.

Come on, Magnus, get in there!

Get it, Pietro!

Come on, Magnus. He's bluffing!

Mash him, Pietro. Nice!

No.

What are you doing? All of a sudden you want a woman?

- I have not done anything. - Come here!

Goat meat disgusts me. No!

Quiet!

No, no!

No, coward!

Coward! Help! No!

You're hurting me!

Go away!

No!

Have you finished?

You didn't hurt me!

Although modest, it must be adapted to your personality.

I don't know, a nice cave under the Roman Forum.

What do you think? Or at Mount Mario.

There's a little ramshackle cabin. You could make yourself a garden.

Or, if you want, there's a waystation boxcar.

Too much noise.

Why don't you just come to my house?

It's only my sister and me.

Don't worry, please.

I need a bank

to solve the problem.

Be quiet!

Quiet! Quiet!

Quiet, damned savages!

Locusts!

Stop!

Stop!

Get up off there!

- Is it a strike? - It's a lunatic in his nightgown.

Are you getting up?

No.

No!

No!

- Who is that? - A prophet.

Why is he on the ground?

To concentrate. He has come to Rome to protest.

- Do you know him? - I am his secretary.

No!

Do you remember the war of Israel?

He announced it three months before.

Anticipated the devaluation of the pound.

Invented something for arthritis based

on vinegar, saffron and nutmeg.

"Pietro Breccia, the singular character

that came down from his hermitage,

stopped traffic on the S. Angelo bridge

for over an hour.

The drivers he challenged did not appreciate his protest

and threatened to run him over."

Do you know what a scoop this is? In the "Domenica dei Corriere."

Yes, like the shipwreck of the Titanic, and the first space flight.

Puccio, I believe that you have joined with somebody crazier than you.

Instead of working, now you go around bothering people.

How bothering?

Albertina, you haven't understood anything.

This crusade is so that people understand

that we cannot continue this way.

We are against the society of consumption,

the religion of money,

the automobiles...

But you don't even have a motorcycle.

Yes, but this time I'll buy one, you'll see.

You don't see why they're interested in the prophet?

I'll take you out of that office.

No more typing for 8 hours.

If you knew, when I see you leave in the morning,

it gives me a sadness...

Albertina,

you will never again have to maintain your brother.

No, my brother will be maintained by me.

Good-bye, pretty sister.

And, mind you, don't get too tired.

What is that? Are you walking on water?

Shoes, cloths, cans...

This is not a river but a flooded basement.

Watch out!

- You die! - Take that paddle...

Get up. Sit on this.

So, suddenly you abandon everything

and leave on vacation for five years.

The noise, the traffic, the madness, the career for money,

all that makes you nervous, ok,

but isn't that too little to leave?

You think so?

For me it is too much to stay.

You are a throwback, an enemy of progress.

No, only to those that don't know how to use it.

Who is that?

If you left those nails alone...

Is it true that you can read other people's thoughts?

Yes, sometimes. It happens to everyone.

You, for example, thought a while ago:

"I have beautiful legs. Why doesn't he look at them?"

Congratulations.

You guessed it.

And then...

Excuse me, but why aren't you looking at them?

If you're not buying anything, why look in the windows?

Good morning.

Teacher, are you finished with Miss Favalli?

I'm done. I'm only missing a nail.

Excuse me, but we have to leave. They wait for us at the TV station.

If you didn't get enough, we can make another appointment.

No, what I have is enough.

Let's go.

And your lance? Aren't going to take your lance?

Against which windmills are you targeting today?

Relax, the windmills will keep grinding

and you will be able to buy yourself more black panties

with pink edges, like those you have on.

I had a good view!

-Nothing escapes me! -Forgive me. I'll call you.

How long have you been there?

Today I will commit suicide.

This time for real.

Won't you ask why?

Why?

This is for you.

"Pietro, when you read this, Maggie will no longer be.

I can't take it anymore.

I hate you because I like everything you do,

although I don't understand it.

I want to be with you but you don't give a damn about me or anyone else

because of your misfortune on the mountain.

And to think that if I wanted,

I could have any man I wanted."

Well, of course. In the cultural sense.

"I have sent Magnus to the store to buy me a kitchen knife.

I will put an end this way to everything.

Here again, faithful old Magnus.

Good-bye, good-bye forever, Pietro.

Signed, one that was

never yours... Maggie."

So?

Nothing.

With the money for the knife, he bought snuff.

Maggie!

Maggie!

What are you doing, Pietro?

It's 5 years, Maggie!

Five years!

Why you have come with this ragamuffin?

Why have I come at all?

Commander Bagni,

- Teacher. - Nice to meet you.

- I want to... - Not the hand.

We've already exchanged too many germs.

- And this young lady... - Hello.

Charmed.

Let's go, please.

- And what's your name? - Maggie.

- And later? - Later, they also call me Maggie.

Allow me, teacher. My wife.

Charmed.

- Such a young prophet. - No hands. He's hygienic.

Have you seen? I'm dressed like you.

Although it's not the habit that makes the prophet.

It's right that he puts on the horns. He deserves them.

But what does that mean?

I hope it's a joke.

- A thrush? - Take them away.

Carla, will you introduce us to the honoree?

I saw him on the TV. The living end.

- Thank you. - What a handsome man.

Do you see? We also drink milk.

Great. It's the best thing for wrinkles.

Come, I want to introduce you to important friends.

Not that the ladies aren't.

I'm very well, thanks. And you?

Are you a relative of the prophet?

Yes, from last night.

Filippo, my son. He is 20 years old. He studies architecture.

Studied! Two years ago I left everything.

- And to what are you devoted now? - He passes the day in bed.

It accumulates energy.

Yes, to dance the whole night.

A thrush?

Tonino, it's five to nine!

Time for my advertisement.

Bagni, the superpasta, you will say

is just right. The pasta for every meal, baked or cooked.

- There is ziti, zitone... - Whisky, Bitter, Punt and Mess...

...lasagna, capellino, bavette, and bucatino.

It's the queen of the kitchen, a superfine pasta.

Bagni, the superpasta. You'll say "just right."

You return home happier

when you have Bagni pasta on the table.

The pasta that keeps its form.

Pietro, do you know how much this costs?

5 millions for transmission.

Good,

it deceives 10 million idiots.

...contest drawing for a car, a refrigerator, a TV,

and other magnificent gifts.

- Salmon or caviar? - No, nothing.

If everyone did what you did,

what would happen? Tell me.

They would all retire to a mountain. And then?

You see? He has no answer.

Do you like it?

It is an authentic Sassonia.

Magnificent. It's not bad.

Who are you. the madman's lover?

- Yes. - He's not so crazy.

Why do you throw in with him?

Because he is not a pompous ass who thinks he's irresistible

just because daddy has money.

27 red.

27 red.

You also reject money as he does?

No.

Not me. But it depends on who has it.

What do you care? If they give it to you, nothing else matters.

I am not for sale.

Not even for rent?

And you gave up your pasta for your studies.

Was it worth it?

You've been very insolent.

I should be furious with you.

- Can I ask you something? - Go on.

- That door. - Thank you.

- Have you won at roulette? - Half a million.

But I'm lying, unfortunately.

Imagine. I could have bought my motorcycle.

Good idea. Make room for me?

I'm upset with you.

You haven't noticed my new style.

Do you like it?

...the international success of our magazine,

900.000 copies,

It is due to the precise selection of collaborators,

articles, services, images...

We are therefore delighted to offer our front cover

on which have already appeared personalities from

industry, politics, the sciences, and the arts.

Did you hear what the director said?

If you want to sit down... It will only be 5 minutes.

The same rate as Bobby Kennedy.

What a stubborn person he is.

He doesn't know anything, but he insists.

Why do you insist?

Oh me?

Here.

- Good morning. - Hello, dear.

- She's naked. - No, it's just ahead.

- What kind of magazine is this? - Viva.

Do you know their circulation?

Are we ready, Riganti?

Riganti is always ready.

Riganti. Charmed.

Please sit down.

Go ahead already. Sit there.

Yes, yes.

Let's see.

May I?

But how wild!

Don't do that again.

Come on, let's hurry up.

We want to make those 900,000 readers happy.

He doesn't seem very convinced of the importance of being on the cover.

Well, you know how these prophets are.

Come on, that face!

Let them come in, Nuccio.

Come on in.

Hold it!

Is it true as a boy you were a loner?

Who, me? No.

In fact, I was called a "flirt."

We can't say that the hermit was a flirt.

Albertina is copying down your life for the article.

A great secretary. And she'll answer the letters

when they arrive at the Prophet's Mail.

Is it true that they send a thousand liras to have my picture?

Puccio is putting it out that

if you put it under your pillow,

it will immediately cure arthritis.

Besides the photo,

they receive a piece of the prophet's tunic.

And that is the tunic of the prophet?

If it was yours, you would already be naked.

Besides, this way everyone can have a relic, a memory, a trophy,

- call it what tou want. - Fraud.

No doubt.

But there is so much work.

If she wasn't here..

If I was not here,

nobody would think of being bothered to go down to turn off the coffee.

Hey, Puccio,

I came

- because... - Anything you want.

Everything is recorded to the last cent. Coming and going.

When you want to see the receipts, you tell me: "I want to see the receipts",

and I'll show them to you. You can see them this way.

No, I don't want to see anything about anything.

I only wanted some money

for a gift for Maggie.

- A gift. - Yes.

And how much do you need?

I don't know. About 700 or 750...

...thousand?

We don't have that much.

No, we don't.

This is misery.

The deal we made with Bagni...

but you said no.

For you, just milk.

- A drop of coffee? - No, no, no.

Relax, I won't write that.

Write it if you want to, but no drop.

Listen..

If I accepted, would we have the money?

More than enough! I told you the commander is a fat industrialist!

On publicity alone, he spends 200 million. Let's go!

You'll see how happy he is to see us. Then we'll buy that gift!

Your wish is my every command.

- You're not eating. Are you sick? - I'm fine.

Just this. Tonight we'll do another article.

Something funny... from when you were in India?

Of course. Eight months in the concentration camp.

We laughed from morning to night. Bye.

- Like this. -Get back, please.

Further down, right?

You'll see what happens at the trial. Revolution!

I can hear it now. I hear it all.

And if they condemn him and he ends up in the jail?

Even better. It'll be more famous.

Always the same rung.

You can't make me come up here for anything.

Hey, bearded one. You may be a prophet, but you're very rude.

I was afraid you'd gone. I wanted to see you.

- What's up? - Nothing, everything's fine.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

- I have a surprise, come on. - A surprise!

No, wait.

It's a century since I've been with you.

A century? Then who did I sleep with last night?

Pietro!

Pietro, I'm going today.

That's why I came. I didn't want to leave that way.

- Why?

Because.

When someone leaves, they say that. It's the least.

Thank you.

You only know how to say those two syllables?

Then, "what bad luck." There, that makes five.

We knew, right?

We're not going to spend our lives glued to each other.

And also, after the trial you return to the mountain.

Of course! I've already spent too much time here. Imagine.

You're very kind.

Is it for you?

Bravo.

Does Magnus have a car now?

I'm not going with him. Water under the bridge.

This is a Bavarian with pasta.

He has a Ferrari

with a double carburetor. Imagine, what a bomb.

Aren't you crazy for motorcycles?

It's a girl thing.

He's taking me to Monte Carlo. Have you been?

Yes, on my honeymoon.

Really? That's great!

When I'm there, I will think of you

night and day. I swear.

OK, I'm leaving.

Good-bye.

I liked you, you know?

I wonder how you'd look without a beard.

You haven't fallen in love with me, have you?

Who, me?

No, Maggie.

I also liked you, that's all.

Good-bye.

Where were you? Quick, let's go!

Let's go.

Let's go!

Didn't you give Maggie her surprise?

No, she gave me one.

Penal decree, unappealable. Fine plus court costs.

No protest.

Lack of home declaration. Records transmitted for execution.

Omitted declaration of income for the years 63,

64, 65,

and 66.

What is the law for insulting the tribunal?

One to three years.

Denouncement for no presentation to the

Security Agency... - And to wreck the tribunal?

The same sentence and more fines.

I've read the charges. Does the

defendant have something to say?

I appeal to the mercy of the tribunal.

Eight months with conditions.

The accused is condemned

to 8 months with conditional freedom.

- Pietro! - There he is.

It went well, eh? Congratulations.

You thought I would to against it all, didn't you?

Against all those that only think of winning,

of money,

of the house by the sea,

and of the motorcycle for the girl over whom they lost their heads.

Tell me, Puccio,

would I have made sense?

You behaved well. The important thing is that you're free and that we...

No, only you, Puccio.

I'm going back to the mountain.

What, right now? No, Pietro, you can't leave me this way.

You'll be a success.

You have so many ideas...

Not me. But if I stay here,

I'll begin to have some too.

For that reason, I'm going. Good-bye, Puccio.

Good-bye, Pietro. Oh, yeah.

Shake my hand.

Infinite are the temptations life offers,

but there is one that nobody can resist,

not even the most stubborn caveman: Bagni pasta!

He is a prophet that says: "If they want to live happy,

don't protest."

Every day is a party if the table is prepared with

well-seasoned pasta.

Bagni, the superpasta, eat it

every day - it's just right.

You come home happier if Bagni pasta is on the table.

Bagni, the pasta that keeps its form.

22 different types with the same quality.

And many gifts every week

with the prizes from Bagni pasta.

Send in the coupons you find inside, and particpate in the drawing

for a car, a refrigerator, televisions...

- Tickets? - Over there.

Sorry.

How much it is for Civita Soratte?

1.200.

And if I get off early?

Just to Borgo Civita?

900.

Don't you have enough money? How much do you have?

Nothing.

Then you've arrived where you're going.

Viterbo.

I wanted to ask a favor of Puccio.

Puccio's not here. He didn't wait.

But what is all this?

What do you want from me?

- It's raining. - I know that.

Well, anyway, tell him hello for me.

I'm going... back to the mountain.

Now, with it pouring?

I've lived five years outdoors.

40 km in the rain won't stop me.

Wait, at least I'll give you an umbrella.

Tell him...

I'm sorry but I had to go.

I wanted to change people, but

No, no, it's better for me

that I leave.

Come on, put this on.

Take off those wet clothes.

I told you I'm going. Don't push.

Then leave already.

Do you want to get sick?

- Let's go. - No!

- Don't be a child. - Ok, let me!

- I can do it myself. - Bravo.

That robe will be small. It's Puccio's.

- What are you doing? - Drying your hair.

- Hey, no... - Stop your whining.

But...

I'll warm up the meatball.

I've made some, you know?

They're chicken.

Now a revised weather bulletin.

In Tuscany, bad weather continues, with snow in the mountains

and rain in the highlands. And in Rome,

snow made its first appearance.

Mount Soratte is covered with 20 cm of snow.

Traffic, use chains on Number 2.

Temperature drop in the middle South.

Albertina.

Alber...

I came for a moment,

but I'll leave at once.

I'm going back to the mountain.

What are you saying? Your place is here.

I have many ideas in my head,

and proposals to make to you. Together, we'll break up with everything.

We'll talk tomorrow, ok?

- Goodbye. - Good night.

- Who is it? - No one, your brother.

- Sleep. - Good-bye.

You want to get out of there?

Come on! Out of my way!

THE HERMIT'S INN

Good evening.

Come on, come on.

Four orders... fettucini a la Prophet.

- How's it going? - It's full.

Stupendous.

Hurry, it's the deputy.

Keep baked young goat in the oven. It drives him crazy.

Don't fall asleep!

OK! Flambe!

The prophet greets you!

This is for you, beauty.

Not for you, deputy. Too heavy. I'll take care of you!

Excuse me, is that a portrait of you?

It WAS me.