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1
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[man]
Drummers only tonight. Drummers only.
2
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:17,434
Not bad. All right.
3
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,770
[drumroll]
4
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,860
[crowd cheers]
5
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,045
[crowd cheers]
6
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,804
Have you guys ever checked into
one of those newer hotels,
7
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,933
like the W Hotel, like a sort of
very futuristic-looking hotel,
8
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:02,228
with like sort of white
shag carpeting everywhere?
9
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:07,484
And for some reason, this is the music
that seems to be playing all the time.
10
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,819
[gentle techno muzak plays]
11
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,740
What is this music?
Who-- who makes this music? It...
12
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:16,451
It doesn't seem to have
a beginning or an end.
13
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,247
It just pulses like this and...
14
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:26,836
I'm gonna do my impression
of waiting to check in to the W Hotel.
15
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The front desk is right here.
16
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[techno muzak continues]
17
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:43,686
That's it. Thank you.
18
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,438
[audience laughs, applauds]
19
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:51,111
I find jazz music problematic.
20
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,863
I have no--
Nothing against jazz musicians.
21
00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:58,785
I'm sure people enjoy it, but the problem
with jazz is that my mind--
22
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,746
I immediately think, "This is jazz,"
23
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,373
as opposed to really enjoying the song.
24
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,793
That's the problem I have, is it just--
Right away, I'm like, "Oh, this is jazz."
25
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:10,672
My belief is that everyone here
has the same problem.
26
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:13,842
And to prove it,
I'm gonna play some-- some real jazz.
27
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,887
And when you find your mind wandering,
28
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:22,142
when you feel like, "Oh, I'm sort of
checking out a little bit, "
29
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,936
just honestly raise your hand.
I'm gonna do...
30
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,105
I'm gonna do the same thing.
31
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:28,773
All right.
32
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,859
[jazz plays]
33
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,195
Wow, this is great.
34
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,076
Right here.
35
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,330
I lose it right here.
36
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:51,004
That song, it goes on
for another five minutes.
37
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,298
There's more...
38
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,716
[jazz song resumes]
39
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,510
Now, I just played it. What's the melody?
What's the melody?
40
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,470
Gone. Right?
41
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,892
Have you guys ever traveled
to another country?
42
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:07,228
You know, some place like Italy or Brazil?
43
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:11,316
And you watch TV,
and someone comes on to sing,
44
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:14,360
and it's someone you've never
seen before, a total stranger,
45
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:18,656
and there's a huge crowd, like an arena,
screaming for this person.
46
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,825
"Who is that guy?"
47
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,202
[hums]
48
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,662
You know, it's a sort of... You know.
49
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,998
[synth pop plays]
50
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:31,836
[sings in fake Spanish]
51
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,172
And they're freaking out.
52
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:36,925
[synth music stops]
53
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,010
And I want to talk to that audience.
54
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:43,014
I want to go to those crowds
in whatever language they speak, and say,
55
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,600
"You guys, you're cheering for nobody.
There's...
56
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,811
This guy, no one knows who he is."
57
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,523
You know what's a crazy song?
That circus song.
58
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,483
You know the circus song?
59
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,777
[hums "Entrance of the Gladiators"]
60
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:58,821
What a crazy melody. Who--
So, a person wrote that.
61
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:04,285
[hums "Entrance of the Gladiators"]
62
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,703
My thought is that...
63
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:09,832
this guy--
This person wrote this song, right?
64
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,919
And then, someone from the circus
was like, "Oh, I like that.
65
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,298
Would you mind if I used it?
66
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:21,386
I'm starting this thing called the circus,
and I'm just gonna use it, you know..."
67
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,303
And the other guy was like,
68
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,265
"Oh, my God, please knock yourself out.
Whatever you want to do."
69
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,392
And the guy from the circus sped it up.
70
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,811
[hums "Entrance of the Gladiators"]
71
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,897
And it sort of got used
at the circus so much
72
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,357
that it got associated with it,
73
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,943
to the point where
in whatever city they were in,
74
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,821
people would go up to the guy
who wrote the song like, "Hey, man.
75
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:40,863
I love that circus song."
76
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,073
And he'd say, "It's not the...
77
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,953
It's not the circus song. I wrote it."
78
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,000
Another type of music I find problematic
79
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,793
is zydeco music.
I don't know what to do with it.
80
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,254
I don't know what it--
I just can't connect to it.
81
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:57,880
I don't know what it wants from me.
82
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,467
If I play zydeco music,
I just don't know what to do.
83
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,553
[zydeco music plays]
84
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,230
I don't-- I--
85
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,899
It's too silly to dance to, right? But...
86
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,320
[zydeco music stops]
87
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,491
Blues to me...
88
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,076
I picture...
89
00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,580
a street fair, like a beer fest.
90
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,915
You know, like outdoors during the day.
91
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,335
And blues is kind of like...
92
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,253
It's great for like 20 seconds,
93
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,757
and then immediately, I want to--
I just want to go.
94
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,135
Do you ever go to a show--
Have you ever been to a show
95
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:46,012
and felt sorry for the band?
96
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:49,557
Because you're the only person there,
and, like, they could see you.
97
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,602
The band is there, and they brought
all their equipment,
98
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:56,356
and they're playing their hearts out,
and you're like... They can see you.
99
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,941
It's a terrible feeling.
100
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,946
I'm gonna do my impression
of being at, like, a beer fest,
101
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,241
and I'm in the street, watching this band,
102
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,619
and for a moment, it's great.
103
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,621
I'm so happy to hear blues,
104
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,290
but then... I want to go.
105
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,502
And I just don't want--
I don't want the band to know,
106
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,836
but it's unavoidable.
107
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,757
[blues music plays]
108
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,717
The band is up on stage right there.
109
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,646
[blues music continues playing]
110
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:04,632
Thanks.
111
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,343
[blues music stops, audience applauds]
112
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,891
Heavy metal has gotten
more and more dense,
113
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,768
more and more dark.
114
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,354
It's heavier than ever,
and that's great. I love that.
115
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:22,567
But by that trajectory,
going back in time,
116
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,777
there must have been a time
where doo-wop music
117
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:28,948
was the hardest music you've ever heard.
Right? It only makes sense.
118
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,784
There was a time where
someone heard doo-wop and was like,
119
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:36,664
"This is too much. This is too loud.
Turn it down."
120
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,876
So, I'm gonna do my impression
of a guy in the '50s,
121
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,295
and he's, like, at a doo-wop show,
122
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:46,466
and it's the heaviest thing
he's ever heard, and he's so into it.
123
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,680
["Blue Moon" by the Marcels plays]
124
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:58,144
♪ Blue moon, blue moon, blue moon ♪
125
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,647
♪ Blue moon, blue moon, blue moon ♪
126
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,776
♪ Blue moon, blue moon, blue moon ♪
127
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:17,163
♪ Blue moon, you saw me standing alone ♪
128
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,040
♪ Without a dream in my heart ♪
129
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:21,125
[music stops]
130
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:26,339
It's pretty crazy music,
doo-wop, isn't it?
131
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,132
Like, that's a band.
132
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:31,886
That's a real band.
They had a practice space and...
133
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,974
It was the '50s, and they were like,
"Hey, it's rock 'n' roll time.
134
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,768
Let's make some rock 'n' roll songs."
135
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:42,355
If I was in that band,
and someone was like,
136
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:43,731
"Okay, what if I start..."
137
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,608
[imitates vocalizing]
138
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:49,695
I'd be like, "No, we should really
write something."
139
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,243
So, I'm talking about being a drummer.
140
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,037
I love being a drummer.
I'm proud of being a drummer.
141
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,413
We are drummers.
142
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,165
We are all drummers.
143
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,711
There's a pride to it.
There's a pride to carrying a snare case
144
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,089
through an airport. You know?
145
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,550
You're just sort of--
And this is a secret.
146
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,717
You're just better than everybody.
147
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:12,843
[mutters indistinctly]
148
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,222
Not gonna check it, you're putting it
in the overhead compartment, right?
149
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:17,974
You're a drummer.
150
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,016
It's a sense of pride.
151
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,978
It's a sense of like,
"This is the tools of my trade."
152
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,730
And when I see a commercial,
you know, for like a new car--
153
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,315
I don't know if you guys go through this.
154
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,317
Do you ever look at a new car,
155
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,778
and you're just like,
"Where does the kick drum go?"
156
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,658
Right? "Where's the hatchback for it?"
157
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:40,246
Do you ever talk to someone
who's been to Turkey, to Istanbul?
158
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,205
My feeling as a drummer--
159
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,374
I don't know if you guys go through this.
I'm always like...
160
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,960
"Did you visit the Zildjian factory?"
161
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:46,877
This...
162
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,047
And then I judge them afterwards
if they're--
163
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,883
No, I really do know someone
who just went on a honeymoon there,
164
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,846
and I was like, "Why did you not go
to the Zildjian factory? Why else go?"
165
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:01,976
But we also have to be honest
with ourselves
166
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:05,021
about being drummers, right? Like...
167
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,106
Sometimes, you'll go do a gig.
168
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:09,191
Yes, I said--
"Gig" is a good word to use, right?
169
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,443
I can say "gig."
170
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,028
And...
171
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,779
Do you ever bring your own cymbals?
172
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,574
Do we really need to bring them?
173
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,826
No, we do not.
174
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:21,162
I think it's because we want
to match the other musicians
175
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:22,538
that are bringing guitars.
176
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,540
I think we just want to carry something.
177
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,418
And the same thing
goes for cymbal shopping.
178
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,045
It's kind of a lie.
179
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,088
Right? Just a sort of like--
180
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,300
You go to these cymbal shops,
and there's like cymbals everywhere.
181
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:36,636
Like fine wine.
182
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,436
There's only one word
we use to describe it,
183
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:48,939
whenever we buy that cymbal,
is that it's dark. It's dark.
184
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:50,816
The dark tone.
185
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,278
We have to stop with the way
186
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,156
that we want to feel special
by pronouncing things weird.
187
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,741
Is it "Pay-ste" or "Paiste"?
188
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,327
"Zoldjian"? "Zildjian"?
189
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,287
Neil "Peert"? Neil "Peart"?
190
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,083
Does it have to be that difficult?
191
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,710
And when we go look at drum kits...
192
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,214
do we really think
that those little, teeny kits,
193
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,549
those little jazz kits,
do we think they sound great?
194
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,094
or are we getting older,
and we don't want to carry...
195
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,056
those big drums anymore?
196
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,265
I'm just asking.
197
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,562
How many of you as drummers...
198
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,400
You're just so--
How much time has been spent--
199
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,901
This is so much-- I--
200
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:38,406
I think if we took a film
of my experience as a drummer,
201
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:41,701
It would not be on stage,
it would be this business, and then...
202
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,203
that.
203
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:55,798
Do you ever have someone
who's not a drummer help you unpack?
204
00:11:58,801 --> 00:11:59,677
"Here."
205
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,722
"No, you-- You broke it."
206
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:13,315
Is it me, or is it just so hard to get
a snare drum to be exactly the right...
207
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,526
way?
208
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:18,237
Do you guys go through this?
I'm always like, "No, damn it.
209
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,073
No. No."
210
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,325
And drum companies...
211
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,495
Stop. Stop coming up-- They're--
212
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,874
Drum companies have to--
They're out of control. Stop...
213
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,126
But the names of hardware...
214
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,795
I have a pedal
that I've been using for so--
215
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,297
Called Iron Cobra.
216
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,174
I'm a grown man. I...
217
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:42,887
It says on the pedal. It says Iron Co--
Iron Cobra? Iron...
218
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,389
That's a cobra made out of iron.
219
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,726
You know cajóns?
220
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,770
They're-- Drum companies-- Yeah--
221
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,230
Drum companies are trying to...
222
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,816
For those of you who aren't drummers,
I'll explain what a--
223
00:12:55,900 --> 00:13:00,112
Cajón is a wooden box
that's supposed to sound like a drum.
224
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,822
It sounds like this. It's like...
225
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,992
You'll see people sitting on them.
226
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,869
And they're trying to sell us
these cajóns.
227
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,622
The fantasy is we're gonna go
on a camping trip and like...
228
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,502
If someone did that, I'd be like,
229
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,879
"It's okay. You can just
clap your hands or something."
230
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,801
Do you ever watch a movie or TV show?
231
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:26,138
You're watching it, and there's a scene
with, like, a wedding band.
232
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,598
And the band's playing.
233
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,268
You know? It's like a really cool scene,
and everyone's acting and...
234
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,728
But you look at the...
235
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,314
You look at the drum kit...
236
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,406
And it's just so wrong. You're like, "No."
237
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,991
It takes you right out, right?
238
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:48,285
[no audible drumming]
239
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,456
Famous drummers...
240
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:55,960
you guys, when you're making
your drum instruction videos,
241
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:59,964
please, work on the artwork,
and the lighting is horrible.
242
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,675
Those-- Have you seen the lighting
in these things? Like...
243
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:07,555
The sweat, the... Paradiddles.
244
00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:18,649
I also wanted to discuss... kick pedals.
245
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:20,901
Double kick--
You know double kick pedals, right?
246
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:21,819
Yeah.
247
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,654
I had one up here.
248
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:26,866
I think-- Okay, I'm gonna--
249
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,451
I'm missing a double kick pedal
that's supposed to be up here.
250
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,161
I'm gonna go... Go grab it.
251
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,047
It's perfectly fine.
252
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:43,591
Hi, excuse me.
253
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,009
Oh, yeah.
254
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,510
Hi. Good. How can I help you?
255
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,679
Good. I just wanted to get
this double kick pedal.
256
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,180
I'm in a little bit of a rush.
257
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,225
Well, this is kind of old-school now.
258
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,227
The newest thing is the octa-pedal.
259
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,395
Octa-pedal?
260
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,898
Yeah, it's right over here. Check it out.
261
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,651
This is an amazing piece of artwork
right here.
262
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,571
It makes playing eight kick drums
a lot easier.
263
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,656
[hums in rhythm with pedals]
264
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,163
You're gonna rock this.
265
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:15,789
Octa-pedal...
266
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,167
I just can't picture it working.
267
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,252
[rhythmic drumming]
268
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,367
Oh, that's incredible.
269
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,410
This could be you, too.
270
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,787
[drumroll]
271
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,293
Sheila E.
272
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,176
I've toured around this country a lot.
273
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:10,886
I've been all over the place.
274
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,348
All kinds of venues, all kinds of cities,
all kinds of states.
275
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:18,602
And everyone speaks a different way.
276
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,271
It's kind of the beauty of it.
277
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:22,898
[affected Maine accent]
Maine...
278
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:27,444
Maine, you can almost hear England there.
279
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,951
[Vermont accent] Vermont, hit the Ts?
The T's are here, Vermont.
280
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,996
[Massachusetts accent]
Massachus-- My daughter. Massachu--
281
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,373
My daughter got married in June.
282
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,500
June. It's a kind of bite...
283
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,377
It's a throat bite.
284
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,838
Boston, Massachusetts.
285
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,465
[Connecticut accent] Connecticut, you get
a bit of that East Coast kind of--
286
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,800
Almost New York, but not quite.
287
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,886
Connecticut.
That's my business, not yours.
288
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,555
Yeah, it's just, Connecticut.
289
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:56,807
[New York accent]
Then New York City.
290
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,059
New York City's got a lot of accents.
291
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,270
Manhattan. Manhattan's kind of, you know--
292
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:04,481
Upper West Side is kind of
very serious, and...
293
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,567
I always fear a medical condition.
294
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,696
Upper West Side medical condition, and...
295
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,198
[Brooklyn accent]
Brooklyn. Brooklyn's a little more tough.
296
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,576
Yeah, Brooklyn, what? Brooklyn.
297
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:20,539
Brooklyn's tough, but the Bronx--
[Bronx accent] The Bronx is in the lungs.
298
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,624
What? The Bronx.
299
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,877
[alternating accents]
Brooklyn. The Bronx. Brooklyn.
300
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,046
Manhattan. Manhattan.
301
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,840
Professional Manhattan. Brooklyn.
302
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:34,636
[Queens accent]
Queens has got-- Queens. Nobody told me.
303
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,056
Queens. Nobody told me.
304
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,475
Why didn't you tell me?
305
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:44,688
[Long Island accent] Lo-- Lo-- Lo--
Long Island stalls for time.
306
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,815
Stal-- I'm gonna stall.
307
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:47,858
New Jersey.
308
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:50,402
[Jersey accent]
New Jersey starts to kind of-- It--
309
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,196
New Jersey's almost like a little punch.
310
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,114
About to punch, New Jersey.
311
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:58,660
Got New Jersey, and then
Philadelphia and Pittsburgh.
312
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,371
[Pittsburgh accent] You can just go there.
You can just go there to Pittsburgh.
313
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,625
[Baltimore accent]
And then down to Baltimore. Motor oil.
314
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,418
I always think "motor oil."
315
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,295
Baltimore. Motor oil.
316
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:13,050
[Virginian accent]
Then down to Virginia. Virginia's got...
317
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,135
You kind of start to hear
a little bit of the Southern accent,
318
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,179
but not too much.
319
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,973
[accents switch] West Virginia's kind of--
You've heard that before.
320
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:22,684
And Kentucky tightens up a little.
321
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,271
But Kentucky... the I is clo-- Kentucky.
322
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,441
West Vir-- And then,
little bit more, North Carolina.
323
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:32,569
There's kind of a-- Now, hold on.
North Carolina.
324
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,239
You mentioned two pumpkins.
I'm not sure--
325
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,324
Just rethinking what you said there.
326
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,244
And then... Then South Carolina,
327
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:44,414
there's a little bit of pageantry
in South Carolina.
328
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,876
And Georgia, you start to lose
the R in Georgia.
329
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:48,836
Georgia, Atlanta.
330
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,588
Florida. No-- Florida. Kind of...
331
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,717
They kind of take two syllables,
turn them into one. Flo-- Florida.
332
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:56,802
Florida.
333
00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,055
But Miami's got a little bit of--
I am born in Miami,
334
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,558
but I still have this accent, and...
335
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:06,019
But Florida, mostly, I don't know why,
it was a baseball mitt.
336
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,187
Baseball mitt.
337
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,398
Alabama. 'Bama-- Alabama.
338
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,192
There's a kind of bounce to the word--
339
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,361
The syllables, Alabama.
340
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,779
Texas, I kind of...
341
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,449
Dallas. Dallas, to me,
seems the most forthright,
342
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,368
but then Houston,
343
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:24,705
I feel like they're scolding you a little.
Houston.
344
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:28,458
But Austin's got--
Austin wants to have fun.
345
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,503
I would like to put a little laugh
in Austin.
346
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,089
[accent switches]
Dallas. Houston. Dallas.
347
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:35,757
Dallas.
348
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,261
Oklahoma and Arkansas,
and then you go to Illinois.
349
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,470
You can start to get that--
350
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,891
Actually, a lot of Southern Illinois
still has a bit of a drawl,
351
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:47,394
but as you come up
through Indiana and Chicago,
352
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,605
you start to get that Midwestern sound.
353
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,941
Chicago. Chicago.
354
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:54,860
Ca... Ba...
355
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,779
Car. Whose car? Is that your car?
356
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:02,492
But Wisconsin's more Chicago
than Chicago, Wisconsin.
357
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,370
This is the Minneapolis Police.
358
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,999
Minneapolis. Minnesota. Minnesota.
359
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,127
Duluth, almost Canadian, Duluth.
360
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,881
But Canada's-- Oh, Canada, eh?
I know. We've heard it before, eh?
361
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,258
Cigarettes, eh? Cigarettes.
362
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:22,346
And then as you go through Montana,
it starts to flatten out, Montana.
363
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:26,642
I think they put a Y in their vowels
for some reason. Montana.
364
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:31,855
Idaho and Seattle.
365
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:35,359
Seattle is interesting because
they present their words on a plate.
366
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:36,568
They present...
367
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,905
I'm from Seattle. These are the words.
368
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:45,285
Portland is the same thing,
but set back a little bit,
369
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,913
and a little more quiet.
370
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,958
So, they present the words to you,
but they take it back a little bit.
371
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,126
No. No.
372
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,674
San Francisco. I--
The way I think of San Francisco
373
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,385
is this is a fact. This is a fact.
374
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,429
Excuse me? No.
375
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,348
That-- This is a fact.
376
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,349
This is...
377
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,769
But in Southern California,
as you go down,
378
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:12,145
the thing that you want to do
379
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:15,148
is you want to pronounce
every part of the word.
380
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:21,029
Every syllable of every word.
Southern California.
381
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,784
Arizona, and then going into Mexico.
382
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,286
Mexico, the Spanish...
383
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:29,371
[speaking in Spanish]
384
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:33,041
[continues speaking in Spanish]
385
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:34,626
But lo Cubano...
386
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,295
[speaking in Spanish]
387
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,756
[continues speaking in Spanish]
388
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:46,596
[switches between Mexican-accented
and Cuban-accented Spanish]
389
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,515
Thank you very much. All right.
390
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:56,481
Do you ever see the thing that
these people do when there's an adult,
391
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,483
and then there's a child--
They're talking to a child,
392
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,485
and then there's another adult
in the room,
393
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:04,239
and they sort of do a joke
that is only for the other adult?
394
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,908
They sort of link it with a wink.
You know, kind of like,
395
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:10,203
"Hey. Did you get your driver's license?"
396
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,375
"Got a girlfriend?"
397
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:17,753
What's the wink for? What's the wink?
398
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,505
Do you ever step into an elevator?
399
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,924
You go in, it's just you,
and there's two people.
400
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:27,262
And one person wants to carry on
the conversation at full volume, right?
401
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,766
But the other person wants to kill
the conversation, wants it done.
402
00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:34,728
"I can't believe that guy said
he's from Peru."
403
00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:35,645
"I know."
404
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,901
Something that people
are doing these days with words
405
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:44,237
are they're slowing a word down
406
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,782
at the end of a sentence to emphasize it.
407
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:49,201
They slow it almost to a dead stop.
408
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,036
I was getting my hair cut,
409
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,705
and it was kind of crowded,
and I told the lady, I was just like,
410
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:55,499
"Hey, you guys are doing great.
This is really good."
411
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:57,209
She's like,
"I know, it's great. It's like--
412
00:22:57,292 --> 00:23:03,173
It's weird because, like,
we don't really do any advertising."
413
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,428
Ever see this thing that people do
414
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:11,390
where they play-act within their sentence?
415
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,183
They do a little act.
416
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:17,479
They sort of involve themselves
in an act in describing themselves.
417
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,022
You know what I mean? Kind of like,
418
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,024
"Yeah, it's really weird,
I'm, like, a parent now.
419
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:24,194
It's weird, 'cause I'm, like,
going to PTA meetings.
420
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,946
I'm, like, buying toys."
421
00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:32,411
I am not impressed by great photography.
422
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,373
I don't care anymore.
I don't care about great photography.
423
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:38,208
It's overrated. So what?
424
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,627
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
with that information.
425
00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:45,173
It's always sort of a wrinkled face.
Wrinkled.
426
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,884
Black and white, wrinkles.
427
00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:52,305
And like a shabby room.
A shabby living room, maybe.
428
00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:54,307
Maybe a picture of a beauty pageant.
429
00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:57,644
You know what great photography
is usually?
430
00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:59,187
It's poor people.
431
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:02,691
Right? That's all it ever--
It's just poor people--
432
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,485
It's a poor person proud of something.
433
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:06,987
Every great--
434
00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:20,041
I don't like camping,
435
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:23,253
because I don't like the sound
of the tent-- The zippers.
436
00:24:23,336 --> 00:24:24,713
[imitates zipper unzipping]
437
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,008
First thing in the morning...
[imitates zipper]
438
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:30,051
[imitates zipper]
439
00:24:30,802 --> 00:24:32,637
Do you ever feel sorry for a corporation?
440
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,806
I feel sorry for Burger King.
441
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:36,892
I feel bad.
442
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:40,729
I pull into a rest stop, and I'm like,
"Oh, Burger-- Look at them."
443
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:44,107
I just-- Changing their logo
and, like, really...
444
00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:47,694
They're still doing it, but they're...
445
00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:50,822
And I'm sure someone from the company
would say, "Actually, we're doing great."
446
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:55,202
But to me, they don't seem like
they're in the conversation.
447
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:56,369
You know what I mean? They're not in--
448
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,914
They're not a guilty pleasure.
They're not-- They're just Burger King.
449
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:01,333
I'm like, "Oh, I guess--
I guess we'll go there."
450
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:06,963
I also feel sorry
for doctors from the 1700s.
451
00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:08,423
I feel bad for them.
452
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,091
We all-- We're so mean.
453
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,676
Why are you guys so mean to them?
454
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,055
You're like, "Oh, they used leeches,
those idiots."
455
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:16,139
What?
456
00:25:17,682 --> 00:25:18,892
Leave them alone.
457
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:20,727
If I was them, I'd be like,
458
00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:24,814
"Hey, I'm so sorry that we wanted
to help people.
459
00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:27,817
And we don't have microscopes. I'm sorry.
460
00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:31,863
Leeches, that's what we have.
I'm just trying to help people."
461
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:38,662
It's a wrap on back surgery.
Back surgery doesn't work.
462
00:25:38,745 --> 00:25:40,413
No more back surgery.
463
00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:42,332
Don't you feel like with back surgery,
464
00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:44,251
it's like, "Hey, do you want to go
do this thing?"
465
00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:46,044
"No, I just had back surgery."
466
00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:48,129
Isn't supposed to be, "They fixed it"?
467
00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:53,051
Do you ever notice that musicians,
like guitar players,
468
00:25:53,134 --> 00:25:55,303
they have like weird, little,
wispy bodies?
469
00:25:57,097 --> 00:26:02,435
Sloping... You know, sloped shoulders
and like wispy hands and arms.
470
00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:04,271
But their heads are kind of too big.
471
00:26:05,021 --> 00:26:06,231
"Come see the show."
472
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:12,279
Aren't crazy people crazy?
473
00:26:14,864 --> 00:26:15,699
That's a separate thought.
474
00:26:15,782 --> 00:26:19,286
Just crazy people, they really do it 24/7.
475
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:25,083
When I see videos online
of people, like, releasing animals,
476
00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:26,585
you know, like freeing--
477
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:30,130
Like, there'll be a goat or something
trapped in a barbed wire fence.
478
00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:33,008
They cut it, and then
these animals run away.
479
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:34,968
They show zero gratitude.
480
00:26:36,177 --> 00:26:37,220
Do you notice that?
481
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:39,222
There's never the moment in the video
where they're like,
482
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,099
"Oh, my God, thank you so much.
I can't believe it."
483
00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:42,475
They just run away.
484
00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:50,567
I'm gonna do my impression
of a decomposing fox.
485
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:55,905
You know, like those fast-motion videos.
486
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:58,658
Can you all see me? A little bit.
487
00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:28,021
Thank you.
488
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:32,067
I had a near-death experience.
This really happened to me.
489
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:34,903
I-- Have you guys gone to Disneyland?
490
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,613
[audience cheers]
491
00:27:36,696 --> 00:27:39,157
I had a really scary thing
happen to me there,
492
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,036
where I'm on the Indiana Jones ride,
right?
493
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:44,829
This is true.
494
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:48,667
I went on the Indiana Jones ride.
My sister and her two kids,
495
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,669
they were in the front,
and I was in the middle seat.
496
00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:54,047
And what it is, it's like
an amphibious vehicle, like a Jeep,
497
00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:55,507
with like three wheels.
498
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,343
So I get on, get in,
499
00:27:58,885 --> 00:28:02,972
and my Jeep, mine, went off the tracks.
500
00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,810
Went off of the tracks.
501
00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:11,398
It jumped up, and it went through
this, like, tunnel,
502
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:12,732
like a rock tunnel...
503
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:16,319
and, like, down, and then...
504
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:20,782
I'm like, "How do I jump out
of this thing?" And it goes...
505
00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:24,786
It goes over this bridge, a bridge...
506
00:28:25,578 --> 00:28:28,957
that's falling apart.
It was like an old broken bridge.
507
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,500
I don't know why it was in there.
508
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,837
Horrifying. And there's kids in the front,
509
00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:37,924
and there's this--
The feeling of arrows whizzing past me.
510
00:28:38,007 --> 00:28:38,842
And then...
511
00:28:40,009 --> 00:28:43,138
Awful. And then I looked behind me,
and there's a boulder
512
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:45,014
coming through like this.
513
00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:48,977
So I'm just like, "Oh, that's-- Okay,
people make mistakes. I understand."
514
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,149
So I get out,
and I get on the ride again.
515
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:55,817
It happened again.
516
00:28:57,861 --> 00:29:00,613
Remember this, okay? If I die before you,
517
00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:04,325
do not let my funeral
be, like, a joyous occasion.
518
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:05,952
I want my funeral...
519
00:29:06,035 --> 00:29:07,203
Please make sure this happens.
520
00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:08,663
...to be terrifying.
521
00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:12,500
Funerals should be scary.
That's what they're for.
522
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:16,254
Right? It should be-- I want people
to come back from my funeral like,
523
00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:18,590
"That was horrible. That was..."
524
00:29:20,216 --> 00:29:23,470
I want there to be screams,
and thunder and lightning,
525
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:26,347
and a horse-drawn carriage.
526
00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:28,558
I want the body to be missing.
527
00:29:28,641 --> 00:29:32,270
I want the sort of coffin to look like
a real coffin shape, and then--
528
00:29:32,353 --> 00:29:34,689
The music should be
that organ music, right?
529
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:35,857
You know the organ music?
530
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:37,942
[ominous organ music plays]
531
00:29:40,653 --> 00:29:44,574
I want to hire an actor
to kind of like... greet people.
532
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:52,207
"Are you here for the funeral?"
533
00:29:54,584 --> 00:29:57,086
[ominous organ music stops]
534
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:01,674
You know what's weird about--
535
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:05,845
The weird thing about being a drummer
is the pathway behind the hi-hat.
536
00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:07,263
Right? Where do we go?
537
00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:11,351
Never-- It's never right,
and this always happens.
538
00:30:17,106 --> 00:30:18,817
My other problem with jazz...
539
00:30:21,736 --> 00:30:24,280
is that jazz drummers,
you know, they have their whole kit,
540
00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:25,281
they never play it.
541
00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:27,492
They never really
play the drums, do they?
542
00:30:27,575 --> 00:30:29,953
Do ever notice that? You go to see
a jazz band, and it's just...
543
00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:32,038
[riffs gently on cymbals]
544
00:30:48,137 --> 00:30:48,972
Do you drummers--
545
00:30:49,055 --> 00:30:52,684
Do you guys have that friend
who thinks they can play the drums?
546
00:30:53,434 --> 00:30:54,435
Do you have that guy?
547
00:30:55,061 --> 00:30:57,230
That person who just,
"Hey, I could do this."
548
00:30:57,772 --> 00:30:59,190
It's always the same beat.
549
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,034
Do you ever see those drummers who...
550
00:31:10,660 --> 00:31:12,453
They have that one reggae song,
551
00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:14,289
and they have to prove to you
that they can play--
552
00:31:14,372 --> 00:31:15,790
They play-- Overplay it.
553
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,458
It's like too reggae, you know.
554
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,544
[plays reggae drum line]
555
00:31:24,924 --> 00:31:25,842
Calm down.
556
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:35,184
I don't know why,
this is myleast favorite beat to play.
557
00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:36,311
I can't get into it.
558
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:38,563
There's something wrong with this beat.
559
00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:44,611
It's not fun to listen to,
not fun to play.
560
00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:53,411
Here are some drummers you might know.
561
00:31:53,494 --> 00:31:55,330
This is my impression of Ringo Starr.
562
00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:56,956
He's always very happy when he plays.
563
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,042
[plays upbeat drum line]
564
00:32:06,966 --> 00:32:08,343
Keith Moon is a little more...
565
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:10,428
[plays fast-paced drum line]
566
00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:23,942
Larry Mullen from U2.
567
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,027
[plays rhythmic drum line]
568
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:30,823
He's sort of marching forward.
569
00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:37,455
-[man] Copeland.
-There's-- Stewart Copeland.
570
00:32:37,538 --> 00:32:38,998
Someone say Stewart Copeland?
He's kind of like...[
571
00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:41,084
[plays upbeat drum line]
572
00:32:54,889 --> 00:32:56,224
Meg White, she's great.
573
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:58,851
She's got a very--
She's got an arc of drumming, so...
574
00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:00,728
[plays emphatic drum line]
575
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,568
A lot of drummers,
576
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:10,655
they tell you that their favorite drummer
is John Bonham in a way--
577
00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:12,448
As if they're the first person to say it.
578
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:14,742
Like, "You know who I like?
579
00:33:16,369 --> 00:33:17,245
Bonham."
580
00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:18,913
Do you ever see that...
581
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:21,457
When a drummer plays on a ballad,
582
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,794
they ding the cymbal at the end
for no reason.
583
00:33:24,877 --> 00:33:26,504
It doesn't do anything to the song.
584
00:33:26,587 --> 00:33:27,714
Do you ever see that?
585
00:33:28,423 --> 00:33:32,510
♪ Until the end of time ♪
586
00:33:33,052 --> 00:33:33,886
[cymbal dings]
587
00:33:34,470 --> 00:33:37,265
Why? Leave it. Leave the song alone.
588
00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:40,143
It's great. It ended already.
This did nothing.
589
00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:46,107
How many people have either
been in this band,
590
00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:48,401
or have had to see this type of band?
591
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:07,879
[guitar music continues via foot pedal]
592
00:34:35,698 --> 00:34:37,700
[looped guitar music continues]
593
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,017
Do you ever listen to...
594
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:04,644
Do you ever listen to NPR?
595
00:35:04,852 --> 00:35:08,940
And there... There are those drummers
who are too respectful...
596
00:35:09,023 --> 00:35:10,775
Too respectful of the artist.
597
00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:13,152
They're so gentle, and they--
598
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:16,989
They usually play with, like,
a maraca and a mallet.
599
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:23,496
I'll show you what I mean.
600
00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:25,957
I'd like to bring on a special guest...
601
00:35:28,042 --> 00:35:29,252
here at NPR.
602
00:35:33,756 --> 00:35:34,841
How's it going, Thao?
603
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,516
I'm doing well.Thank you.
604
00:35:43,599 --> 00:35:44,725
Thanks for having me.
605
00:35:46,894 --> 00:35:50,523
Welcome tothe station, and...
606
00:35:52,316 --> 00:35:53,401
I understand you've been touring.
607
00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:55,153
What's that like?
608
00:35:56,195 --> 00:36:01,784
I'd say it's both inspiring
and devastating.
609
00:36:04,203 --> 00:36:06,539
But really beneficial, because...
610
00:36:07,373 --> 00:36:11,961
all points of joy and sorrow
are like messiahs of song to me.
611
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:16,924
You're gonna play a song
from the new album, correct?
612
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:18,301
I would be honored.
613
00:36:18,384 --> 00:36:22,221
All right, let's get your whole band here,
and off you go.
614
00:36:24,473 --> 00:36:26,475
[gently riffs on drums]
615
00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:43,242
♪ A window by the porch ♪
616
00:36:46,370 --> 00:36:49,999
♪ A faded mirror in the vestibule ♪
617
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:57,965
♪ A letter addressedTo the owner of the house ♪
618
00:37:00,092 --> 00:37:03,471
♪ With the rusty weather vane ♪
619
00:37:06,682 --> 00:37:09,977
♪ But the owner is a ghost ♪
620
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:12,730
♪ From Missouri ♪
621
00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:19,362
♪ From Missouri ♪
622
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,038
Thank you. Thank you.
623
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:37,797
One last impression of a drummer
I wanted to do is Tito Puente.
624
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,548
I used to see Tito Puente...
625
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,802
[plays Latin jazz drum line]
626
00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:49,058
He was so great, and he would do...
627
00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:54,772
He would sort of do
the same joke every night,
628
00:37:54,855 --> 00:37:56,816
but I always thought
it was a brand-new joke
629
00:37:56,899 --> 00:37:59,318
until I saw it a few times,
but it's so good.
630
00:37:59,485 --> 00:38:00,820
He was always like...
631
00:38:08,536 --> 00:38:09,537
Did you feel it?
632
00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:13,874
-Did you feel it?
-Yeah!
633
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:16,419
Did you feel it, beautiful baby?
634
00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:19,505
Not you, her.
635
00:38:24,927 --> 00:38:27,638
-[man] Karen Carpenter.
-Karen Carpenter is great.
636
00:38:28,264 --> 00:38:31,767
Did you see that video of, like,
her playing all the different kits?
637
00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:32,727
Yeah.
638
00:38:32,935 --> 00:38:35,062
I'm gonna do something similar, so...
639
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,231
There's this line of kits in front of me.
640
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,775
So, Revival Drums helped me do this.
641
00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:42,903
This is drum kits through the decades.
642
00:38:43,487 --> 00:38:45,573
Right? It's sort of working its way back.
643
00:38:45,656 --> 00:38:47,742
We started--
We couldn't really do the 1800s,
644
00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:49,910
because that's sort of marching band drums,
645
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:54,957
but we figured maybe the '20s and '30s
was a good place to start.
646
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:57,626
So... here is this.
647
00:38:58,294 --> 00:39:00,629
Here's this kit from the '20s and '30s.
648
00:39:03,841 --> 00:39:08,095
And these are called traps,
because they were-- They're contraptions.
649
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:11,599
This is before they were really
riding on any cymbals or hi-hats.
650
00:39:11,807 --> 00:39:12,933
So it's kind of...
651
00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:15,853
[plays jazzy big band drum line]
652
00:39:25,571 --> 00:39:27,448
And they would sort of hit the cymbal
without the kick drum.
653
00:39:27,531 --> 00:39:29,367
You'd only hear it on its own.
654
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,416
The thing that--
655
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:40,419
There's also something called a lowboy,
that's like a little hi-hat down here.
656
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:42,421
Before they could real--
657
00:39:42,505 --> 00:39:45,174
Before they figured out to sort of
hit them, it was just down here.
658
00:39:45,257 --> 00:39:47,551
There were all these sound effects
because of silent movies.
659
00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:49,720
They would sort of play for those.
660
00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:51,680
So this is a Chinese tom-tom.
661
00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:54,725
Wood blocks, cowbell, cymbal.
662
00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:56,560
So, pretty cool. I like this.
663
00:39:57,144 --> 00:40:00,147
Then we move on to the '40s.
664
00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:03,359
This is a sort of Gene Krupa
big-band-style kit.
665
00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,194
And this is where like...
666
00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:07,279
[plays big band drum line]
667
00:40:16,872 --> 00:40:19,417
Or the du-- The hi-hat would sort of--
668
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:22,461
That kind of came into play
when they could play with their sticks.
669
00:40:26,006 --> 00:40:28,050
And... And brushes...
670
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:36,725
Brushes, so cool.
671
00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:40,896
That's like the sort of last of that
sort of swinging sound.
672
00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:45,401
So, this is the '50s,
and this is where rock 'n' roll--
673
00:40:45,484 --> 00:40:49,363
This is where sort of it became
less of that triplet feel,
674
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,866
and just kind of straight eighth notes.
675
00:40:51,949 --> 00:40:53,951
[plays rock 'n' roll drum line]
676
00:41:03,752 --> 00:41:04,712
They would also do--
677
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:07,631
A lot of '50s music sort of pause--
The drums would just pause
678
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:08,632
for, like, a buildup.
679
00:41:20,644 --> 00:41:22,938
Really nice sound. Then...
680
00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:28,527
This is the '60s,
681
00:41:28,611 --> 00:41:32,031
and this is where
things got a little more swishy
682
00:41:32,114 --> 00:41:34,325
and kind of funky at the same time.
683
00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:35,367
Kind of like...
684
00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:37,536
[plays energetic drum line]
685
00:41:53,385 --> 00:41:56,263
This is the sort of Ringo-style kit,
and they--
686
00:41:56,847 --> 00:41:58,849
Apparently, people saw them
on Ed Sullivan,
687
00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:01,185
and they just wanted--
Everyone wanted to be a drummer.
688
00:42:01,268 --> 00:42:03,562
That's kind of where
that all turned around.
689
00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:07,399
And then we've got the '70s,
where the kits kind of just grew.
690
00:42:09,443 --> 00:42:12,363
Just really big kits. You know, sort of...
691
00:42:12,446 --> 00:42:14,448
[plays upbeat drum line]
692
00:42:20,454 --> 00:42:23,249
But somehow, strangely, softer music.
693
00:42:23,332 --> 00:42:25,417
Like bigger kits, but softer music.
694
00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:29,213
And... a lot of their sound
kind of came...
695
00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:32,675
There's a kind of really dead sound.
696
00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:35,928
I kind of picture--
Well, disco was kind of like...
697
00:42:36,011 --> 00:42:38,013
[plays disco drum line]
698
00:42:47,481 --> 00:42:49,191
Or even softer. Sometimes, it was...
699
00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:05,124
Speaking of deadened tom-toms,
700
00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,835
sometimes-- I don't know
how many Beatle fans are here,
701
00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:09,795
but when Paul McCartney-- Yeah.
702
00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:11,171
When Paul McCartney plays drums...
703
00:43:11,255 --> 00:43:13,591
He's done so in a lot of his solo stuff.
704
00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:16,719
...he tends to stop his beat to do a fill,
705
00:43:16,802 --> 00:43:18,304
and then he doesn't end it with a cymbal.
706
00:43:18,387 --> 00:43:19,471
So it's kind of like...
707
00:43:34,111 --> 00:43:35,446
What a nice audience.
708
00:43:35,529 --> 00:43:37,573
It's so nice to see everybody. Hi.
709
00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:42,453
This is kind of my favorite.
710
00:43:42,536 --> 00:43:45,873
This is kind of where I grew up
listening to drummers.
711
00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:48,250
This is a Simmons pad kit.
712
00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:53,213
This is-- I brought this from home.
713
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:55,758
But everything became
kind of up-tempo, you know.
714
00:43:55,841 --> 00:43:57,843
[plays up-tempo drum line]
715
00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:07,895
Or there's the kind of--
The Minneapolis sound.
716
00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:10,564
I know those are LinnDrums, but I always--
When I think of Prince, it's...
717
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:12,650
[plays '70s pop drum line]
718
00:44:19,406 --> 00:44:20,366
That kind of...
719
00:44:20,574 --> 00:44:22,076
-Yeah!
-Yeah. Yes.
720
00:44:24,411 --> 00:44:26,288
I could play this all-- I love these.
721
00:44:28,999 --> 00:44:30,084
The '80s...
722
00:44:32,836 --> 00:44:35,756
The poor '80s.
The '80s were kind of like...
723
00:44:35,839 --> 00:44:39,635
They-- Their attitude was like,
"No, now we begin the future."
724
00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:44,765
Hexagonal drums. This is it.
No more drums. This is...
725
00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:49,603
But that-- That was it. It ended there.
It ended in 1988 or whatever.
726
00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,188
Now, the '90s...
727
00:44:51,730 --> 00:44:54,441
'90s is a curious decade of drumming.
728
00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:58,028
Huge kick drums. Yellow, red.
729
00:44:58,112 --> 00:45:00,531
Lot of colors. Lot of bright colors.
730
00:45:01,657 --> 00:45:04,702
It was kind of bottom heavy
with the toms, right?
731
00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:05,703
Sort of...
732
00:45:08,872 --> 00:45:13,001
But with the snare, super high and tight.
733
00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:14,837
So...
734
00:45:21,427 --> 00:45:22,261
But...
735
00:45:22,678 --> 00:45:23,971
Do you ever see the thing,
like in the '90s,
736
00:45:24,054 --> 00:45:25,597
where they'd have a regular beat going,
737
00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:29,143
and then they would sort of
abruptly cut to like
738
00:45:29,226 --> 00:45:30,978
a little sort of drum machine beat?
739
00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:31,895
You know, like....
740
00:45:40,195 --> 00:45:42,197
Lot of buildups, too, in the '90s.
741
00:45:54,918 --> 00:45:57,921
So, that brings us to this.
This is the sort of...
742
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:00,883
I tried to come up with a 2000s kit,
743
00:46:00,966 --> 00:46:04,428
and it's really-- What I've been seeing...
744
00:46:04,511 --> 00:46:06,680
I hope this isn't getting in your face.
Sorry about that.
745
00:46:07,097 --> 00:46:10,559
...is a lot of-- There's a lot of
vintage-looking drums,
746
00:46:10,642 --> 00:46:12,186
kind of smaller.
747
00:46:12,269 --> 00:46:13,270
A Roland pad.
748
00:46:13,353 --> 00:46:15,898
They'll put a pad up here
instead of a rack tom.
749
00:46:15,981 --> 00:46:18,484
They do a lot of their fills
on the hi-hat.
750
00:46:18,567 --> 00:46:22,112
And also, there seems to be
a laptop going most of the time.
751
00:46:24,740 --> 00:46:25,866
So, there's a lot of...
752
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,456
And then a really dead-sounding cymbal.
753
00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:42,966
And there we go, there's everything.
754
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:43,967
Thank you.
755
00:46:48,388 --> 00:46:50,098
Thank you. Thank you, drums.
756
00:46:57,648 --> 00:46:59,399
From Green Day, Tré Cool.
757
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:15,666
So...
758
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,085
Tré and I are gonna show you
759
00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:20,754
some of the dynamics
of being in a band together.
760
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:27,010
One of them is... One of the first things
they do, is there's always...
761
00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:29,721
If you're in a band with someone else,
there's always an inside joke,
762
00:47:29,805 --> 00:47:31,974
and it's annoying to everyone else.
763
00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:34,726
But to us, we love it.
764
00:47:35,561 --> 00:47:38,188
Hey, Tré, the orange is over.
765
00:47:40,065 --> 00:47:41,358
The orange is over.
766
00:47:41,775 --> 00:47:43,277
No, stop, really.
767
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,240
Don't--
768
00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:52,452
The other thing is,
sometimes a guitar player
769
00:47:52,536 --> 00:47:54,538
will show a song to a drummer,
770
00:47:54,621 --> 00:47:58,750
and there's a clear one, the one count,
771
00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:00,961
but it's clear only to this guitar player.
772
00:48:01,044 --> 00:48:02,588
And the drummer's usually got it right,
773
00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:04,423
but it kind of--
774
00:48:04,506 --> 00:48:06,258
It's kind of like this,
"Hey, man, I got a new song.
775
00:48:06,341 --> 00:48:07,676
Let me show it to you first."
776
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:13,015
No, no, no.
777
00:48:13,515 --> 00:48:16,143
It's one, two, three, four.
778
00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:17,895
One, two, three, four.
779
00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:20,022
One, two-- No. No.
780
00:48:21,481 --> 00:48:23,191
One, two, three, four.
781
00:48:23,275 --> 00:48:25,027
One, two, three, four.
782
00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:31,158
That's how practice goes.
783
00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:40,292
The other thing that bands do
when they practice is,
784
00:48:40,375 --> 00:48:42,336
a lot of their time
isn't spent songwriting.
785
00:48:42,419 --> 00:48:45,339
It's just really dissing another band.
786
00:48:45,422 --> 00:48:48,926
They saw their friends' band.
They just saw them play,
787
00:48:49,301 --> 00:48:50,928
and they just go on and on about
788
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,263
how terrible they are,
but they're nice guys.
789
00:48:54,056 --> 00:48:57,142
Man, the Gym Socks, I--
I don't get it. They just...
790
00:48:57,517 --> 00:48:58,518
They're not good.
791
00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:00,896
Did you see how high the drummer
puts his cymbals?
792
00:49:00,979 --> 00:49:01,813
What is...
793
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:04,566
-Why?
-Gym Socks, dudes suck.
794
00:49:04,650 --> 00:49:07,277
They suck. They're nice guys, but-- Also--
795
00:49:07,361 --> 00:49:09,196
-Super nice guys.
-Super nice guys.
796
00:49:09,279 --> 00:49:10,155
But...
797
00:49:11,323 --> 00:49:12,449
This is not a song.
798
00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:16,954
Why? Why?
799
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:20,832
That's most of a band practice.
800
00:49:22,709 --> 00:49:24,378
The other-- Thank you.
801
00:49:24,461 --> 00:49:27,130
The other thing-- A lot of discussion
if you're in a band
802
00:49:27,214 --> 00:49:30,425
is about what time you have to get there.
803
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:34,471
So, if they're there at four,
don't we show up at five?
804
00:49:34,554 --> 00:49:35,430
Six?
805
00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:36,890
I'm sure six is fine.
806
00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:39,101
-Can you fit my kick drum in your car?
-Yeah.
807
00:49:40,352 --> 00:49:41,269
Thank you.
808
00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:55,784
I'd like to bring up,
from Warpaint, Stella Mozgawa.
809
00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:05,711
The other thing that drummers deal with
is sound guys.
810
00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:09,589
Sound guys, if you're a drummer,
they make the same joke every time.
811
00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:11,049
It's always- You load in...
812
00:50:11,967 --> 00:50:14,011
-Hi.
-Where's your gong?
813
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:17,556
Good one. Next time.
814
00:50:18,223 --> 00:50:19,641
You should bring your gong.
815
00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:21,518
Okay. Yep.
816
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:27,607
And then much of our time
as drummers, it sounds--
817
00:50:27,691 --> 00:50:29,568
This is the sound of our life.
818
00:50:29,776 --> 00:50:30,610
Kick.
819
00:50:32,404 --> 00:50:34,322
[strikes kick pedal]
820
00:50:34,573 --> 00:50:35,449
Keep going.
821
00:50:41,747 --> 00:50:42,581
Snare.
822
00:50:46,501 --> 00:50:47,377
Rack.
823
00:50:51,339 --> 00:50:52,632
Do you want that ring in there?
824
00:50:54,134 --> 00:50:56,053
-I can change it.
-No, it's okay.
825
00:50:56,136 --> 00:50:57,220
-Okay.
-Floor.
826
00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:01,058
Do you want that ring in there?
827
00:51:03,060 --> 00:51:04,144
Do-- Yeah.
828
00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:05,937
-Whole kit. Whole kit.
-Okay.
829
00:51:06,021 --> 00:51:06,980
Yeah.
830
00:51:20,035 --> 00:51:22,871
Great. We don't have any mikes yet, but...
831
00:51:22,954 --> 00:51:24,956
-Great.
-The other thing...
832
00:51:25,957 --> 00:51:28,376
musicians deal with--
Do you ever see, like,
833
00:51:28,460 --> 00:51:31,630
the guitar player who does not know
how to play the drums?
834
00:51:31,713 --> 00:51:33,173
You could tell by the way
they hold the stick.
835
00:51:33,256 --> 00:51:35,467
But they want to have drums on stage.
836
00:51:36,718 --> 00:51:38,720
So, just do a regular beat.
So, if we're in a band...
837
00:51:57,989 --> 00:51:58,907
Thank you.
838
00:52:03,245 --> 00:52:04,788
There's-- How many of you drummers--
839
00:52:04,871 --> 00:52:07,124
You guys must be in bands.
Are you guys in bands?
840
00:52:08,083 --> 00:52:09,376
Have you seen the--
841
00:52:09,459 --> 00:52:13,713
When a songwriter shows you a song
that has way too many parts.
842
00:52:14,714 --> 00:52:15,882
Okay, ready for the song?
843
00:52:17,676 --> 00:52:19,386
So, it starts off-- It's just gonna go...
844
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:28,186
And then--
So, then it just goes to a quick--
845
00:52:31,064 --> 00:52:33,066
[guitar line speeds up]
846
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,282
[guitar line speeds up more]
847
00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:42,534
This goes for a while.
848
00:52:45,162 --> 00:52:46,121
Stop.
849
00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:47,497
Rest.
850
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,082
Rest, then...
851
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:51,626
[guitar line slows down]
852
00:52:52,919 --> 00:52:53,879
Then it'll go...
853
00:52:53,962 --> 00:52:56,298
[plays melodic guitar line]
854
00:53:00,844 --> 00:53:01,720
Yeah.
855
00:53:02,804 --> 00:53:03,930
This is just twice. And then...
856
00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:06,516
[guitar line speeds up]
857
00:53:07,475 --> 00:53:08,560
A little reggae part.
858
00:53:08,643 --> 00:53:10,645
[plays reggae guitar line]
859
00:53:12,731 --> 00:53:13,565
And then...
860
00:53:13,648 --> 00:53:15,859
[plays somber guitar line]
861
00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:20,906
-No drums in this part.
-Okay. Yep.
862
00:53:21,698 --> 00:53:23,408
-Okay, ready?
-Yeah.
863
00:53:24,242 --> 00:53:27,162
It's a seven count. One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven.
864
00:53:49,434 --> 00:53:51,311
Thank you. Stella Mozgawa.
865
00:53:55,774 --> 00:53:59,277
How you guys doing? This is so much fun
for me, I just want you to know.
866
00:54:04,032 --> 00:54:06,284
There's another drummer
I'm gonna bring up,
867
00:54:06,368 --> 00:54:08,286
and he's originally from Austria.
868
00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:12,040
He's, like, a brilliant drum technician,
869
00:54:12,123 --> 00:54:14,125
and a drum aficionado.
870
00:54:14,376 --> 00:54:16,795
Just a real hero of drumming.
871
00:54:16,878 --> 00:54:18,797
You will not believe how great he is.
872
00:54:19,547 --> 00:54:21,967
His name is Thomas Lang. Thomas Lang.
873
00:54:23,134 --> 00:54:24,302
Thomas, how are you?
874
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:26,805
Thanks for doing this, buddy.
875
00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:31,309
So, Thomas is here, he's brilliant.
876
00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:34,813
A real-- I mean, he's got
so much material out.
877
00:54:34,896 --> 00:54:37,482
He tours-- 78 countries,
I think you've been to?
878
00:54:37,565 --> 00:54:38,858
Yeah. This year.
879
00:54:39,317 --> 00:54:42,320
So, I thought it would be cool
to bring him out,
880
00:54:42,404 --> 00:54:45,782
and I wrote a little one-act play
881
00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:49,286
that we could read together.
There you go.
882
00:54:51,913 --> 00:54:52,789
Okay.
883
00:54:57,877 --> 00:54:58,753
Here we go.
884
00:54:59,587 --> 00:55:01,840
Two brothers, Danny...
I'm Danny.
885
00:55:02,590 --> 00:55:04,426
...and Edward... That's Thomas.
886
00:55:04,801 --> 00:55:07,679
...are at the airport,
just inside the terminal.
887
00:55:08,346 --> 00:55:10,598
Edward has a suitcase...
Your suitcase is there.
888
00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:13,435
...and Danny, me, is dropping him off.
889
00:55:13,518 --> 00:55:17,272
Okay... you all set?
Do you have your passport?
890
00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:18,773
Of course I do.
891
00:55:19,357 --> 00:55:22,277
Well, I'm just making sure.
People can be forgetful.
892
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,447
Not me. I can't be forgetful.
893
00:55:26,406 --> 00:55:27,574
I suppose that to be true.
894
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:30,493
Can you imagine me
stepping off the plane, saying,
895
00:55:30,744 --> 00:55:32,495
"Hi. I don't have a passport,
896
00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:34,873
but I'm going to be sightseeing here
for ten years."
897
00:55:34,956 --> 00:55:38,084
Is that what you're doing in Monte Carlo,
sightseeing?
898
00:55:38,168 --> 00:55:40,795
Yes, my brother. For ten years.
899
00:55:42,672 --> 00:55:44,841
I imagine you could do that
in a few weeks, no?
900
00:55:44,924 --> 00:55:48,470
You can imagine all you want,
but when I sight-see,
901
00:55:48,553 --> 00:55:51,431
I sight-see every building up close.
902
00:55:52,307 --> 00:55:54,476
The cement is like an inch from my face.
903
00:55:57,354 --> 00:56:01,524
I understand you wanting to travel,
but the family needs you here.
904
00:56:04,110 --> 00:56:05,862
We have to tend to the mitten shop.
905
00:56:05,945 --> 00:56:08,114
Mittens, mittens, mittens.
906
00:56:08,990 --> 00:56:11,659
The world's bigger than mittens,
you know, Danny.
907
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:14,829
It is?
908
00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:15,955
Yes.
909
00:56:19,250 --> 00:56:21,169
Danny, I'm older than you.
910
00:56:21,252 --> 00:56:23,463
Who knows exactly how many years.
911
00:56:23,546 --> 00:56:25,090
I'm guessing two.
912
00:56:26,257 --> 00:56:29,094
But our parents,
they were too busy to tell us.
913
00:56:29,177 --> 00:56:30,136
I know.
914
00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:33,223
They were always deep in conversation
with each other.
915
00:56:33,973 --> 00:56:36,226
I wish they had time to talk to us.
916
00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:38,686
Maybe we're the same age.
917
00:56:48,988 --> 00:56:50,198
When's your flight?
918
00:56:51,408 --> 00:56:52,492
I have to look it up.
919
00:56:52,575 --> 00:56:53,868
I'm not going direct.
920
00:56:53,952 --> 00:56:57,288
I fly first to Toronto,
then I go to Dublin,
921
00:56:57,539 --> 00:57:00,959
then I go back to Atlanta,
and then right to Rome from there.
922
00:57:01,042 --> 00:57:02,919
And from there, I'll take a train.
923
00:57:04,712 --> 00:57:06,005
Isn't there anything faster?
924
00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:09,134
These pilots, they're the fastest
in the business.
925
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,094
I know some of them personally, actually.
926
00:57:11,177 --> 00:57:13,721
Have you heard of José Medeiros?
927
00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:15,056
I haven't.
928
00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:18,226
He's from Toronto Airlines.
929
00:57:18,810 --> 00:57:19,644
He's the best.
930
00:57:21,896 --> 00:57:23,523
I'm gonna miss you, Edward.
931
00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:25,608
Look. Look.
932
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:28,987
They're towing your car, man.
933
00:57:29,070 --> 00:57:31,030
You should've parked
in the drop-off area.
934
00:57:31,739 --> 00:57:35,118
That's okay. I don't mind.
I'll deal with it next week.
935
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,913
-Danny.
-Yes.
936
00:57:39,205 --> 00:57:40,582
I just realized something.
937
00:57:41,166 --> 00:57:42,167
I forgot my passport.
938
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:43,793
I left it in the garage.
939
00:57:44,085 --> 00:57:45,170
Edward!
940
00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:47,005
Thank you.
941
00:57:53,386 --> 00:57:56,681
There's someone who lives part-time
in this city,
942
00:57:56,764 --> 00:57:58,183
and it's John Waters.
943
00:57:58,266 --> 00:58:00,477
You guys know John Waters, the director?
944
00:58:01,060 --> 00:58:03,688
When I was 15, he kind of saved my life.
945
00:58:03,771 --> 00:58:06,941
He gave me purpose.
And it sounds like an exaggeration...
946
00:58:08,193 --> 00:58:09,486
but what happened was,
947
00:58:09,569 --> 00:58:12,906
I was 15, and I was in English class
in 8th grade,
948
00:58:12,989 --> 00:58:14,574
and I had this assignment that was like,
949
00:58:15,158 --> 00:58:17,911
"If you had one more day to live,
what would you do?"
950
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:20,914
And everyone was like, "Oh, I'd visit
my grandmother," and all this stuff,
951
00:58:20,997 --> 00:58:22,707
and I just wrote this paper, it was like,
952
00:58:23,708 --> 00:58:28,880
"I would smash in all the store windows
on the street,
953
00:58:28,963 --> 00:58:32,258
and I would set every place on fire."
Right?
954
00:58:32,842 --> 00:58:33,885
And I think I was trying to be funny.
955
00:58:33,968 --> 00:58:35,845
I don't know what I was trying to do.
956
00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:38,806
I really felt like if it was my last day
on Earth, I just wanted to sort of
957
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:40,600
just destroy everything.
958
00:58:40,683 --> 00:58:44,103
So, my English teacher,
she didn't give me a grade.
959
00:58:44,187 --> 00:58:46,022
She said, "See me after class."
960
00:58:46,356 --> 00:58:50,235
And for the next day-- The next day after,
she sent me to the school psychologist.
961
00:58:50,318 --> 00:58:53,029
And he was like giving me--
It was really scary as a kid,
962
00:58:53,112 --> 00:58:56,491
'cause he was giving me
this written test, it was like,
963
00:58:56,574 --> 00:58:59,494
"Do you see animals
that other people don't seem to see?
964
00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:03,957
Do you feel a tight band
wrapped around your head?"
965
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:07,585
And I was like, "No, no. This is--
You've misunderstood me."
966
00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:11,589
And, you know, when you're 15,
you don't know what you-- Who you are.
967
00:59:11,714 --> 00:59:13,508
So then I heard John Waters on the radio.
968
00:59:13,591 --> 00:59:16,386
He was doing, like,
a promotional interview
969
00:59:16,469 --> 00:59:18,263
for his book called Shock Value.
970
00:59:18,763 --> 00:59:20,348
And in the book, he's like,
971
00:59:21,015 --> 00:59:25,103
"If someone pukes at one of my movies,
I consider it to be a standing ovation."
972
00:59:25,186 --> 00:59:27,772
And I was like,
"Yes, I want to be like that person.
973
00:59:27,855 --> 00:59:30,650
That kind of, like, weirdo."
You know what I mean?
974
00:59:30,733 --> 00:59:33,027
I can't think of any other word.
So, it was such a great book,
975
00:59:33,111 --> 00:59:34,320
so I wrote him this letter.
976
00:59:34,404 --> 00:59:37,991
"Dear John, please do not regard this
as just another fan letter.
977
00:59:38,074 --> 00:59:42,161
You and I have very much in common,
except I'm 15 years old.
978
00:59:43,538 --> 00:59:46,499
I also make films, and they're not
ordinary little movies."
979
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:47,709
I did, with my friends,
980
00:59:47,792 --> 00:59:50,003
we used to make these little horror movies
with a lot of blood and stuff.
981
00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:52,839
Just these little 8mm
three-minute things.
982
00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:55,800
"Every time you make a film,
people praise you as a genius,
983
00:59:55,883 --> 00:59:57,051
including me...
984
00:59:57,719 --> 01:00:00,305
but my films only get me to a psychiatrist
985
01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:03,182
or kicked out of where
I'm showing it. Why?"
986
01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:07,228
That's not really true.
It was more related to the paper I wrote,
987
01:00:07,312 --> 01:00:08,771
but that was too complicated.
988
01:00:08,855 --> 01:00:11,524
I don't know. I can't get into
my own 15-year-old head.
989
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:14,694
I want to go back and be like,
"Fred, write a factual letter," but...
990
01:00:16,070 --> 01:00:18,281
"When I was younger, I, too, wrecked cars"
991
01:00:18,364 --> 01:00:21,117
So, in his book, he said he used
to light cars-- Little toy cars on fire.
992
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:22,160
I did the same thing.
993
01:00:22,243 --> 01:00:24,454
"I burnt them. That was really great.
994
01:00:26,539 --> 01:00:28,291
I don't even want to get into
how much we have in common.
995
01:00:28,374 --> 01:00:29,959
Let's just say it's a lot.
996
01:00:30,209 --> 01:00:33,713
I read Shock Value three times over,
and loved it more than anything."
997
01:00:33,796 --> 01:00:34,672
That's true.
998
01:00:34,756 --> 01:00:37,675
"I had it taken away from me in school
about seven times.
999
01:00:37,759 --> 01:00:40,553
I decided Cookie Mueller
was my favorite Dreamland girl,
1000
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:42,597
and since she, too, lived in New York,
1001
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:44,098
I decided to look her up.
1002
01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:46,392
I found her address, wrote to her,
and she wrote back
1003
01:00:46,476 --> 01:00:48,728
with an autographed letter
and your address.
1004
01:00:48,811 --> 01:00:50,605
Don't get mad at her for giving it to me.
1005
01:00:50,688 --> 01:00:52,190
Please write back, okay, John?
1006
01:00:52,273 --> 01:00:55,276
I feel I have a lot to learn from you
about my future.
1007
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,861
You are my idol,
1008
01:00:56,944 --> 01:00:58,071
and one day,
1009
01:00:58,154 --> 01:01:00,615
I will take over your puke-dom..."
1010
01:01:00,698 --> 01:01:02,367
He was the prince of puke.
1011
01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:04,661
"...(if you don't mind).
You should see my movies."
1012
01:01:04,994 --> 01:01:06,579
Okay. So, a heart--
1013
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,581
Thank you. Yes, a heartfelt...
1014
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:10,667
[audience claps]
1015
01:01:13,169 --> 01:01:14,671
You know, no direction.
1016
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:18,132
You know that feeling, you don't know--
You're sort of scared of yourself?
1017
01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:20,635
And... Well, I wrote him this letter.
1018
01:01:20,718 --> 01:01:22,387
He wrote me back.
1019
01:01:22,470 --> 01:01:25,390
"Dear Freddy, thank you
for your enjoyable and funny letter.
1020
01:01:25,473 --> 01:01:28,643
I guess the difference is that
they don't drag me to a psychiatrist
1021
01:01:28,726 --> 01:01:31,020
because I've been making the films
for a long time,
1022
01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:32,355
and you just started.
1023
01:01:32,730 --> 01:01:35,441
Just don't let anyone tell you
you can't do it,
1024
01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:36,943
and just keep plugging away."
1025
01:01:37,026 --> 01:01:38,820
Right away, he took me seriously.
1026
01:01:38,903 --> 01:01:41,531
He really considered what I wrote to him.
1027
01:01:41,614 --> 01:01:43,783
"I do hope you can take over my puke-dom.
1028
01:01:43,866 --> 01:01:47,370
Just remember to keep it funny, because
it's simple to just be disgusting,
1029
01:01:47,453 --> 01:01:48,746
but not so original.
1030
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:51,374
The most important thing
is humor and originality."
1031
01:01:52,583 --> 01:01:53,418
Fantastic.
1032
01:01:53,501 --> 01:01:55,461
"I wish you lots of luck with your films.
1033
01:01:55,545 --> 01:01:57,755
The only way to learn is by doing it."
1034
01:01:57,839 --> 01:01:59,507
This last line is really cool.
1035
01:01:59,590 --> 01:02:02,635
"Read Variety, it's the best textbook.
1036
01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:03,845
Best, John Waters."
1037
01:02:03,928 --> 01:02:06,180
This stays with me today.
1038
01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:10,309
It's such a loving, peaceful,
really artistic postcard.
1039
01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:12,895
And so, John Waters saved my life.
1040
01:02:18,067 --> 01:02:20,194
Thank you.
I'd like to bring up Stella Mozgawa.
1041
01:02:20,278 --> 01:02:21,279
You're right here.
1042
01:02:29,537 --> 01:02:30,496
Tré Cool.
1043
01:02:36,669 --> 01:02:37,670
Thanks, Tré.
1044
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,548
Thomas Lang, come on up.
1045
01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:44,093
Thanks.
1046
01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:50,266
The orange is over.
1047
01:02:50,349 --> 01:02:51,267
Yeah.
1048
01:02:51,851 --> 01:02:52,685
Yes.
1049
01:02:54,145 --> 01:02:55,688
Hey, where's your gong?
1050
01:02:59,358 --> 01:03:01,527
One, two, three, four.
1051
01:03:19,420 --> 01:03:20,630
Stella Mozgawa.
1052
01:03:28,930 --> 01:03:29,972
Tré Cool.
1053
01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:39,524
Thomas Lang.
1054
01:03:47,698 --> 01:03:48,866
Fred Armisen.
1055
01:03:57,834 --> 01:03:58,668
Everybody.
1056
01:04:15,309 --> 01:04:17,603
One, two, three, four.
1057
01:04:21,524 --> 01:04:23,985
-Those clubs, they get hot.
-You got to put the tape on.
1058
01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:25,903
-Thank you very much.
-You know what you need?
1059
01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:26,988
Splash cymbal.
1060
01:04:27,446 --> 01:04:28,281
You can double it.
1061
01:04:28,364 --> 01:04:30,616
An ashtray. You smoke?
You got an ashtray, you got a cymbal.
1062
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:32,201
-Look at that.
-Put these on the drums.
1063
01:04:32,994 --> 01:04:35,288
It's gonna make it sound...
Sound like a studio.
1064
01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:36,622
Underrated.
1065
01:04:37,248 --> 01:04:39,584
This goes right on top like this.
And you have this like this.
1066
01:04:39,667 --> 01:04:43,045
Look at this. You got everything in there.
Bill Stewart, Todd Sucherman.
1067
01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:44,338
You got Derek Roddy.
1068
01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:47,466
Unbelievable. Really, everybody.
1069
01:04:50,094 --> 01:04:51,178
You got to have that.
1070
01:04:51,262 --> 01:04:53,931
I'm telling you, you need all this.
If you want to be a pro drummer,
1071
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:55,933
hey, you take-- Look. Look who you got--
1072
01:04:56,017 --> 01:04:58,394
-Is telling you about it.
-We do it all the time.
1073
01:04:59,228 --> 01:05:00,605
-Okay.
-It's a must-have.
1074
01:05:03,774 --> 01:05:05,776
[spooky organ music plays]
78709
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