Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:05,571
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,873
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:12,744
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,981
♪ on which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:18,851
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:22,787
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,434
♪ all the things
that make us ♪
8
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,991
♪ laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:30,996
♪ He's a family guy ♪♪
10
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,970
Peter, don't forget
you have a physical
today at 1:00.
11
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,271
For the hundredth time, Lois,
I won't forget.
12
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:41,707
Nag, nag, nag.
13
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,815
Sometimes I think
I should have married
that woman
14
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,344
I met the night
of my bachelor party.
15
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,314
Peter, I can't believe
your friends just
left you here.
16
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,448
Let's get you home.
17
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,618
Wow, strange lady.
You're so sexy.
18
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:57,589
I should marry you
tomorrow instead of that
pain-in-the-ass Lois.
19
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:58,690
Peter, it's me.
20
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,036
You know what?
Screw it.
21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,405
I am so gonna cheat
on Lois right now.
22
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,507
I don't care
if she finds out.
Peter...
23
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,565
You got a condom? Never mind.
I got this Milky Way wrapper.
24
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,905
Put this on.
Why?
25
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:15,607
Because I'm skipping
my physical to go have
steaks with the guys
26
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,220
and I don't want Lois
to know about it.
27
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,324
Um,
28
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,978
okay.
29
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:22,781
Lois, I'm going to
my physical now.
30
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,890
Okay, honey.
I'll see you later.
31
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,353
Um...
32
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,355
What the hell?
I'll just ask it.
33
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,064
Why did we need
the horse suit for that?
34
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:41,099
Okay, all right, that's...
35
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:44,202
That's seven 16-ounce steaks.
36
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,216
Come on, Joe.
You haven't even
finished one.
37
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,605
I mean, that guy had two.
38
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,786
I know, I know, I'm terrible.
39
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,489
Which is why
I'm gonna order
the cheesecake.
40
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,513
I can't do it. I'm...
41
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,980
I'm so full.
42
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,315
Full of what? Estrogen.
43
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,884
Come on, take
the skirt off, you pansy.
44
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,865
Let's go.
Chow down, Mary Jane.
45
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,388
I said, I can't.
46
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,101
Eat it.
Eat the damn steak.
No.
47
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,603
Come on!
What are you waiting for?
I can't.
48
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,004
Eat it, Joe. Eat it!
No, no, no.
49
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,908
Joe, eat it!
I said I'm not hungry!
50
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,498
Where is it now, huh?
Where is it now?
51
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,834
Easy, sailor, easy.
52
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,502
Put the gun down, Joe.
53
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,049
Yeah. Nobody's
judging you, man.
It's cool.
54
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,433
I'll just put this
back in your purse
next to your tampons.
55
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,323
All right,
let's start the bidding.
56
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,581
Jennifer, how much do you bid
on the dinette set?
57
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,915
Um...
58
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,717
$675, Bob.
59
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,153
$675. Steven?
60
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,253
$780.
61
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,855
$780. Tammy?
What was the last bid?
62
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,964
$780.
$781.
63
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,860
You!
64
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,862
Hi, honey.
How was your physical?
65
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,198
Good. Good. Good.
Yeah. Yeah.
66
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,745
Too good, matter of fact.
67
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,380
You know what the doctor said?
68
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,637
Doctor said I was
too healthy, you know?
69
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,373
In too good of shape.
70
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,519
Don't even know how.
Too good of shape.
71
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:57,921
You didn't go to
your physical, did you?
72
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,145
Uh, I did not.
73
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,882
So, Doctor?
Is Peter healthy?
74
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:05,928
My goodness!
You'll be dead
within a month.
75
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,252
What?
76
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,481
Oh, Hagar the Horrible,
if you keep up that lifestyle
77
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,257
of pillaging and
giant turkey legs,
you'll be dead within a month.
78
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,470
Now, on to you.
79
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,372
So, what do you think?
Pretty healthy, huh?
80
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:18,108
Well, Mr. Griffin,
let's take a look
at your physical results.
81
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,732
There's a spider in here.
Now, here we go.
82
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,646
Mr. Griffin, you're going to
expire in a month.
83
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,416
This is
your driver's license,
isn't it?
84
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,452
Now, unfortunately,
I'm afraid you are
going to die
85
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,921
when you watch
these Dean Martin
celebrity roasts.
86
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,313
Will you just tell us
how Peter's health is?
87
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,716
Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite
sure how to say this.
88
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:43,222
Kim Bass-inger, Base-inger,
Basin-jer, Basinger?
89
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,789
But now on to the cancer.
90
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,024
Oh, my God!
91
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,460
You are a Cancer, right?
You were born in July?
92
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:49,961
Now, on to these test results.
93
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,297
My, they're much worse
than I thought.
94
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:55,066
My son got a D minus
on his history test.
95
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,979
Now, Mr. Griffin,
that liver's got to come out.
96
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,637
What?
97
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,916
It's been in the microwave
for three minutes.
It'll get dry. Now...
98
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,041
Please. Please.
99
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,777
We can't take any more shtick.
100
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,447
Please, just tell us,
is Peter healthy?
101
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,293
Oh, yeah. He's fine.
He's just really fat.
102
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,317
Oh, thank God!
103
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,262
Wait, wait, wait.
Hang on a second.
104
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,031
Did you just say I was fat?
105
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:17,288
Well, yeah.
You are pretty fat.
106
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,790
Um,
107
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:22,160
okay.
This is news to me.
108
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:25,041
Boy! This is more awkward
than having sex
with a rhinoceros
109
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,198
who doesn't love you anymore.
110
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,001
Why wouldn't you
look at me during?
111
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:37,909
Hey, how was your physical?
112
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,779
Stupid doctor said I was fat.
Can you believe that idiot?
113
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,559
Well, Peter,
you are on the large side.
114
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,227
Oh, please, Brian.
If I was fat,
115
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,571
could I do this
with a Hula-Hoop?
116
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:57,896
No. No, no, I guess
you couldn't do that
if you were fat.
117
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:03,435
Careful, Peter.
That's an old family photo.
118
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,637
My mother gave it to me.
119
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,706
Huh, that's weird.
120
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,779
I didn't know
you had a brother.
I don't.
121
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,680
I mean, I don't think so.
122
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,982
Hey, if I'm fat,
then Stewie's fat, too.
123
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,211
Because we wear
the same size onesie.
124
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,137
Hello, pumpkin.
Hello, Daddy?
125
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,801
Did I miss your piano recital?
126
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,829
No, Daddy.
I'm in my 40s now.
127
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,030
Good God!
128
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,245
I had a question
I wanted to ask.
129
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,769
Um, do I have a brother?
130
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,106
No, no. Don't be silly.
131
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,286
'Cause I found this picture...
132
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,277
Uh, uh... Oh, Dick. Thank God
you're here. Talk to her.
133
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,880
Message CM-27.
134
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,016
The subscriber you are
trying to reach
135
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,418
is unavailable or outside
the calling area.
136
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:55,832
What do you feel
like doing later?
137
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,390
Message CM-42.
138
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,226
Let's go pay some hookers
to knock our junk around.
139
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,975
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
140
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,977
Daddy's never gonna
tell me the truth.
141
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,668
The only way
to find out is
to check the family records.
142
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:13,638
Breaking into Grandma
and Grandpa's house.
143
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,386
This is more exciting
than that time
I saw Bobby McFerrin
144
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,909
fall down all those stairs.
145
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,650
Cool!
146
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,455
Wait. What are you doing?
They're sleeping in here.
147
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,558
Oh, please. They get
so doped up on
sleeping pills and liquor,
148
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,826
an earthquake wouldn't
wake them up.
149
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,544
My God! How does she
sleep at night
150
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,102
knowing she has to funnel
this old duffer's hog?
151
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:50,274
This is it!
Patrick Pewterschmidt.
152
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:54,112
56 Meadow Lane, Brookfield.
I do have a brother.
153
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,181
Oh, my God.
I've got to meet him.
154
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,449
Oh, hey, Brian.
You know what would be fun?
155
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,019
Oh, God, totally!
156
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,590
Awesome!
157
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:08,237
You know, sometimes
the old-fashioned
playthings are the best.
158
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,095
Hey, kids of America.
159
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,297
It's hand-painted
wooden ball in a cup.
160
00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:15,299
Who needs constant
electronic video stimulation
161
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,002
when there's ball in a cup?
162
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:21,106
Mexico's favorite toy
for over 340 years.
163
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,542
Toss the ball,
catch it in the cup,
164
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,544
dump it out of the cup, toss it,
165
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,378
and catch it in the cup again.
166
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,381
The ball is on a string
and attached to the cup.
167
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,329
So there's no worryif you don't catchthe ball in the cup.
168
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:36,688
And cleanup is as easy
as catching a ball in a cup.
169
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,524
So why spend another day
not catching a ball in a cup
170
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:42,060
when you could be
catching a ball in a cup?
171
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,227
♪ Ball in a cup ♪
172
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,462
♪ Ball in a cup ♪
173
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:45,830
♪ It's a ball in a cup ♪
174
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:46,899
Ball in a cup!
175
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,007
♪ Ball in a cup ♪♪
176
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,716
Peter, I think maybe
you're in denial
about this fat thing.
177
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,007
Oh, yeah?
Well, I challenge you
to prove to me
178
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,409
that I'm fat.
179
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,010
Okay, hang on.
180
00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:00,223
See this?
Yeah.
181
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,324
You know what it is?
182
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,814
Duh, it's an apple.
183
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,083
Good, good, good.
All right, watch this.
184
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:09,221
What the...
What is this?
185
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,822
Is this some kind of gag?
186
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,891
No. That's orbit.
Huh?
187
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,938
You have your own
gravitational pull.
188
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,594
Oh, that's a bunch of crap.
189
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,978
Now back to The Three Stooges.
190
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,503
Aw.
191
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:28,206
Aw.
192
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:30,341
Aw.
193
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,591
Can you believe
I'm about to meet
my long lost brother?
194
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:38,016
Maybe Dateline will do
a story on us, huh?
195
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,563
I'll get to meet
that pompous ass,
Stone Phillips.
196
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,054
He's a kind of guy you hate
till he's inside you.
197
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,822
There it is.
56 Meadow Lane.
198
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,395
"Brookfield Insane Asylum"?
199
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:53,531
Oh, my God!
Mom's brother's crazy.
200
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,733
Oh, no. I didn't catch
the ball in the cup.
201
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,435
Oh, wait a minute.
202
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,424
It's okay because
the ball is on a string
and attached to the cup.
203
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:07,278
Doctor, is my brother
really insane?
204
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,892
Mrs. Griffin,
we don't use
the word "insane."
205
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,249
We prefer the term
"mentally hilarious."
206
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,239
I can't wait to
meet the lunatic.
207
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,621
I bet he's even weirder
than that commercial I saw.
208
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,368
Hey, is that
that new butter substitute?
It sure is.
209
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,826
Is it true it has
half the calories of butter
or margarine
210
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,338
with all the great taste?
Yeah.
211
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,007
Can I have some?
Get your own.
212
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,130
Take that, you bitch!
213
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,531
What the hell?
214
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:28,766
How'd you like that?
215
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,947
Hey, joke's on you.
I have hepatitis.
216
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,605
Patrick?
Yes?
217
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:36,641
My name's Lois.
I'm your sister.
218
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,410
Oh, my God, Lois.
219
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,356
I never thought
I'd see you again.
220
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,947
These are my children.
221
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,927
Why do you live
in a crazy house,
Uncle Patrick?
222
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:47,263
Well, when I was
just a little boy,
223
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,387
I had a very
traumatic experience.
224
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,123
Mommy, can I have
a drink of water?
225
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,426
Jackie Gleason!
226
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,173
Beat it, kid.
Your mother's busy.
227
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,275
Humminah,
humminah, humminah,
humminah.
228
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,899
Pow, right in the kisser!
229
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,568
Oh, that's a horrible story.
Yes.
230
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:06,003
I was so traumatized
they sent me here.
231
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,017
And I guess
they must have forgotten
about me.
232
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,241
Well, you seem
perfectly normal to me.
233
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,710
And no brother of mine
is gonna be
234
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,912
cooped up in some insane asylum.
235
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,381
We are taking you
back to Quahog with us.
236
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,815
Oh, that's a great idea.
237
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,895
Maybe he can bring
his sling blade and order up
some
238
00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:22,231
French-fried potatoes.
239
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,255
Mmm-hmm.
240
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,158
Thank God I'm out
of that hospital.
241
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,527
It's great to be eating lunch
with my family
242
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,629
instead of a bunch
of chronic masturbators.
243
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,097
Those people are disgusting.
244
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,368
Is it lonely up there
on your pedestal, Patrick?
245
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,203
Oh, Peter, there you are.
This is my brother Patrick.
246
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,816
Yeah, yeah.
Good to meet you, Patrick.
247
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,251
All right, listen up, everybody.
248
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,119
I have something to tell you.
249
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,644
I'm not quite sure
how to say this.
250
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,646
I'm fat.
251
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:51,248
Let me give you
a minute to absorb that.
252
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,151
That's the way it is.
It's nobody's fault, Meg.
253
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,654
But I've decided
to do something about it.
254
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,990
Oh, great.
You gonna drop
some weight, fat ass?
255
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:02,493
No, dummy. I'm gonna help
make this a fat man's world
256
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:07,532
by establishing
the National Association for
the Advancement of Fat People.
257
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,134
This is the best idea I've had
since I slayed that dragon.
258
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,983
Cybill Shepherd?
Yes.
259
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:33,024
People, you are free!
260
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,999
You know, I'm very glad
you're here, Patrick.
261
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,678
Well, I want to tell you that
262
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,236
Marian and I both
appreciate what you've done.
263
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,339
Marian? Oh,
you have a girlfriend.
264
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,409
Oh, where are my manners?
Marian is my wife.
265
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,989
She is sitting right next to me.
266
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,713
Oh, here we go.
267
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:55,781
Oh...
268
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,083
Nice to meet you, Marian.
269
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,319
What's that, honey?
Oh, yes. Hang on.
270
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,422
Marian wants some coffee.
271
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,557
Lois, did you see that?
He's nuts.
272
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:09,694
Brian, he's been locked up
in that place for 30 years.
273
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:12,162
It's perfectly understandable
that he'd invent
274
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,998
an imaginary companion.
275
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,135
Yes. He's even more
imaginative than the people
who invented singing.
276
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:33,117
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
277
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,787
♪ For the longest time ♪
278
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,422
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
279
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,857
♪ For the longest ♪
280
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:43,995
♪ If you say goodbye
to me tonight ♪♪
281
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,803
All right, everyone,
I'd like to get started.
282
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:55,840
I'd like to get...
We're start...
283
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,868
You know what? Maybe...
Maybe everyone
should sit down.
284
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:13,290
Okay, that's better.
Welcome, everybody, to the...
285
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:18,273
Uh, uh...
286
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,231
snacks are best saved for later.
287
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,028
Okay, now, I've prepared
an agenda for
our organization,
288
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:42,052
what we want
from the community
as fat people with pride.
289
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,285
All right, I think
we got a lot accomplished
here today.
290
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,590
We'll pick this up
again tomorrow.
291
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,445
Hey, guys, I'm going for a run.
292
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,448
Do me a favor
and keep Marian company
while I'm gone.
293
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,816
Uh, sure.
294
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,252
Great. Bye, honey.
295
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,991
Hey, Brian.
Marian just called you
an alcoholic.
296
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,860
Oh, yeah?
Marian just
called you a homo.
297
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:26,630
Wait a second.
I'll be right back.
298
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:30,767
Hey, Brian, Brian.
What if I put this cucumber
right here?
299
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,381
Put the cucumber right there.
300
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,116
Do you think Patrick
would be angry?
301
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,606
I don't know, man.
It's his wife.
302
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,654
You don't think
he'd be ticked off
if I put this...
303
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:39,911
Just put that right there?
304
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,580
Just right in that spot,
right there on the couch?
305
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:44,782
Hey, Marian's giving you
a thumb's up.
306
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,550
You know what we should do?
307
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,939
We should let it sit here
for a couple of weeks
and see if it pickles.
308
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,892
If after three weeks
it pickles, then she's real
309
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,095
and we both have
to buy Patrick a steak.
310
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:06,938
Hey, pie.
I know what you want.
311
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,673
I saw you in that movie.
312
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,308
Whore, slut, bitch.
313
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,176
You don't deserve
to have sex with me.
314
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,611
Instead, I'm gonna
eat the whore out of you.
315
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,282
Peter, did you start
a coalition for fat guys?
316
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,983
Yeah. The fat-guy coalition.
317
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,485
Peter, you shouldn't
encourage people to be fat.
318
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:22,987
Fat people are immoral.
319
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,421
How do you figure, sports fan?
320
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,925
They're just bad people,
like that Jackie Gleason.
321
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,061
He was fat and he was bad.
322
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,595
One time when I was a boy...
323
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,264
Oh, I love Jackie Gleason.
324
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,100
Hey, take a look
at what I bought at
this TV convention.
325
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,403
It's a bus driver's uniform.
326
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:41,706
Pow, right in the kisser!
327
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,778
Pow, right in the kisser!
Pow, right in the kisser!
328
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:50,148
Pow, right in the kisser!
Pow, right in the kisser!
329
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:51,749
Pow, right in the kisser!
330
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,250
Pow, right in the kisser!
331
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,719
Pow, right in the kisser!
332
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,387
Pow, right in the kisser!
333
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,522
Pow, right in the kisser!
334
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,360
Wow! That set him off
like a Paul Shaffer
fire alarm.
335
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,951
Hello?
Lois, it's your father.
336
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,308
The hospital called
and said you released Patrick.
337
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,911
Have you lost your mind?
He's incredibly dangerous.
338
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,147
Oh, well, that's ridiculous.
Patrick is a very nice man.
339
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:27,618
And you should be
ashamed of yourself
for locking up your own son.
340
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,121
Whose pickle is this?
341
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,523
This just in.
The body of a local fat man
342
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,992
was found murdered
in Quahog Park last night.
343
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,061
Police released this sketch
of the suspect.
344
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,998
Oh, my God!
345
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,746
Police also releasedthis sketch ofa female accomplice
346
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,069
believed to be his wife.
347
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,210
Hello, I'm Tom Tucker.
348
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,246
Quahog's newest serial killer
has struck again.
349
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,649
Since the first victim
at Quahog Park last week,
350
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,250
three more men have been killed,
351
00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:02,553
all of them very, very fat.
352
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,555
Lois, that sketch looks
a lot like Patrick.
353
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,090
Oh, that's ridiculous.
354
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:08,025
I don't know. I mean,
he's clearly crazy.
355
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:09,761
Look at that
imaginary wife of his.
356
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:13,264
Well, if she's imaginary,
how do you explain
the pickle on the couch?
357
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:15,199
I don't understand what...
358
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,601
Oh, wait. What? Really?
359
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,735
Hey, Stewie!
360
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,684
I know,
I know. I heard!
361
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,775
Patrick.
362
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,477
Where have you been?
363
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,458
Oh, it's nothing
you need to concern
yourself with, Lois.
364
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,115
Well, that's a relief.
365
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,017
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a relief.
366
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,254
Yeah, the Fat Guy Strangler's
living here and there's
a fat guy in the house.
367
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:39,757
This'll be a bigger disaster
than when Peter did
Tara Reid's boob job.
368
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,594
Dropped some pepperoni on there.
369
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,503
You know what?
That works. Sew it up.
370
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,144
Michael was one of our brothers.
371
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,537
He was a good man.
He was a kind man.
372
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,306
He was a fat man.
And now he's a dead man.
373
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,676
And we're all next.
The Fat Guy Strangler's
gonna get us.
374
00:17:58,744 --> 00:17:59,889
He's right.
Oh, my God.
375
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,356
We're finished.
Will someone tie my shoe?
376
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,792
People, people!
I know what will
make us feel better.
377
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,984
Let us sing the NAAFP anthem.
378
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:10,354
♪ Stand up, all fat men ♪
379
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,758
♪ Stand up straight ♪
380
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,861
♪ Stand up because no chair ♪
381
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,931
♪ Can hold your weight ♪
382
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,535
♪ If God created us ♪
383
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,672
♪ To be so big ♪
384
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,808
♪ That's proof he must be ♪
385
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:37,214
♪ A big, fat Heeb ♪
386
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,784
♪ God's real flabby ♪
387
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:43,621
♪ With an ass so wide ♪
388
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,691
♪ His arms look like pillows ♪
389
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:51,662
♪ With cake mix inside ♪
390
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,899
♪ God's man-boobs are flabby ♪
391
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:59,870
♪ And they hurt when he jogs ♪
392
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,174
♪ And the back of God's neck ♪
393
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:07,244
♪ Looks like a pack of ♪
394
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:11,749
♪ Hot dogs ♪♪
395
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:17,299
All right, everybody,
just make yourselves
at home.
396
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,735
Lois, these are
the fat guys.
Fat guys, Lois.
397
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,859
My God, look at you
fat bastards.
398
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:24,272
I bet none of you
can even find
your own penis.
399
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:26,898
Find your penis for a dollar.
Find your penis, one dollar.
400
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,200
One dollar, find your penis.
Find your penis here.
401
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,734
Peter, what's going on?
402
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,503
Lois, my people are in danger.
403
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:35,339
Until they find
the Fat Guy Strangler,
we will stay...
404
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:36,687
Victor, don't lean against that.
405
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:38,909
Hey, everybody.
406
00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:40,756
Peter, you gotta get
these guys out of here.
407
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,613
Patrick is the murderer.
What?
408
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,149
You son of a bitch!
409
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:48,218
Don't listen to Brian.
He doesn't know
what he's talking about.
410
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:50,599
Out of my way, Lois.
Your brother is toast.
411
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,523
Warm buttery toast!
412
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,604
That sounds good.
I love toast.
413
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,705
I just found my penis.
414
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,161
Run, Patrick, run!
415
00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,597
After him!
416
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,200
Boys, to your Rascals!
417
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,210
He went into James Woods.
Let's spread out and find him.
418
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,912
We'll head him off at the...
419
00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,982
Todd, man, you got
to chew your food.
420
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:23,754
Brian, I know my brother.
He couldn't have
done these things.
421
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,424
Well, let's see
if you feel that way
when you see this.
422
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:28,925
Look.
423
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,835
So he has pictures of himself
strangling fat guys.
424
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,171
That doesn't mean
he's the Fat Guy Strangler.
425
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,472
Oh, yeah? What about
the dead fat guy
under his bed?
426
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:43,707
Coincidence?
427
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,920
What about the half-dead
fat guy in the corner?
428
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:47,177
Patrick tried to kill me.
429
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,658
Well, maybe it's
a different Patrick.
Lois!
430
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,216
Okay, okay. Oh, my God!
431
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,584
Peter's out there with him!
Wait!
432
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,853
You gonna eat that dead fat guy?
433
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,890
How are we gonna find them?
434
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,703
Don't worry, Lois.
I'm good at finding people.
435
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:04,128
I was the one who found Bush
after Hurricane Katrina.
436
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,811
Mr. President,
are you up there?
Go away!
437
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,779
Sir, there's a disaster
in New Orleans.
438
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:11,936
I'm reading Superfudge.
439
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,381
You got to come down
and deal with this.
440
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:14,438
Don't make me do stuff.
441
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:18,375
Patrick? Patrick!
442
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,243
Oh, crap! Guess we lost him.
443
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:23,358
Well, nothing left to do
but finish this sentence
uninterrupt...
444
00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:28,585
Patrick, let him go!
445
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:30,054
Don't come any closer!
446
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:34,158
Patrick, let him go
or Marian gets it.
447
00:21:34,227 --> 00:21:37,027
Nice try.
But Marian's over there.
448
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,397
Don't hurt her!
449
00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:43,267
Now, let him go!
450
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:44,568
Okay! Okay!
451
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:47,683
You missed!
No, I didn't.
452
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:51,475
That's for rolling up
the damn window when I tried
to jump into the General Lee.
453
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:55,446
I'm sorry, Lois.
I never meant
to hurt anybody.
454
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:59,250
I mean, I did mean to kill
those fat guys, but I never
meant to hurt you.
455
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:02,386
You may be very sick, Patrick,
but I love you.
456
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:05,289
You're my brother
and you'll always be
my brother.
457
00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:07,891
I have to go back to
the hospital, don't I?
458
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,593
Yeah. I'm afraid so.
459
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,140
Hey, Patrick. Did you see
how that rock hit me
in the face?
460
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,109
It was like, pow,
right in the kisser!
461
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,333
Pow, right in the kisser!
462
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:16,445
Pow, right in the kisser!
463
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,182
Stop screaming,
you can't hear me.
Pow, right in the kisser!
464
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,382
Pow, right in the kisser!
465
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:22,606
Pow, right in the kisser!
466
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,410
I miss Uncle Patrick.
467
00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:29,647
Don't worry, kids.
I promise we can visit him
once a month.
468
00:22:29,715 --> 00:22:31,482
We'll be his period.
469
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:33,617
I was just upstairs
470
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,953
and there's
a half-dead fat guy
eating a dead fat guy.
471
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,544
Uh-huh. So I guess
we're just looking
the other way, huh?
35757
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
