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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:15,449 Be honest with you... 2 00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,368 It don't bother me so much in the daytime. 3 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,453 It's at night when I lay down and go to bed. 4 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:22,331 I can't sleep. I toss, I turn. It's hell. 5 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:26,669 Do you eat a lot of dairy? Milk, cottage cheese, sour cream? 6 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,212 Yes, all of it. 7 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,548 I'm not a doctor, but it sounds to me 8 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,259 like you might have a lactose allergy 9 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,636 or a lactose intolerance. 10 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:36,804 Really? 11 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:40,057 My suggestion is that you cut out dairy from your diet 12 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,142 completely. 13 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,227 It's gonna be tough, I love cheese. 14 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,521 Hey, who doesn't love a delicious Camembert 15 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,605 on a cracker? Come on. 16 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,566 "Camden-bear"? 17 00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:48,858 - Camembert. - What the fuck is that? 18 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,151 It's a... it's a soft cheese. 19 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,235 I ain't ever heard of that shit. 20 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,445 Yeah, it's very good. 21 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,071 I don't know how I'm gonna do it, man. 22 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,157 It's gonna be tough. It's all I eat. 23 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,199 I know it's hard. 24 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,493 I had to give up Marcona almonds. 25 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:00,745 Is that like a nut? 26 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,829 Yeah, delicious. 27 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,606 That with some truffle oil and sea salt. 28 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,625 Tremendous. 29 00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:09,337 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 30 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:10,755 Eh, okay. 31 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:13,007 Larry David, you're free to go. 32 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,200 - All right, okay! - Oh-ho! Look at you. 33 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:16,719 Lawyer's here. 34 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,679 Stay in touch, buddy. Good to meet you. 35 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,807 Mr. David. I'm Joe D'Angelo. I'm an attorney. 36 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,476 Your manager Jeff sent me. 37 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,895 Hey, Larry. Let me give you my number, man. 38 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,022 We can stay in touch, you know? 39 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,815 Hey, you got a phone on you? 40 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,901 - Sure. - Mind taking his number down? 41 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,986 - His number? - Yeah. 42 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:38,908 - 404-892-8042. - Okay. 43 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,160 - Yeah. - Yeah, I got it. 44 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:42,536 Hit me up sometime, Larry. 45 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,996 Sure. Take it easy, buddy. 46 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,124 Thanks, fellas. Let's go. All yours. 47 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,335 Listen, Larry. May I call you Larry? 48 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,420 Y-yeah, sure. Okay. Listen to me, Larry. 49 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,714 Okay, I got you out on an R.O.R. 50 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,366 They're releasing you on your own recognizance, okay? 51 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,637 - Yeah. Yeah. - What's... what's wrong? 52 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:00,721 - Nothing. - Okay. 53 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,515 I didn't know it was against the law to give someone 54 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,392 a glass of water. 55 00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:05,059 Welcome to Georgia, my friend. 56 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,186 All right, look, all I wanna do, 57 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,480 all I wanna do is plead guilty and go home. 58 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,065 I want to get the hell out of here. 59 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,483 That's the plan. You plead guilty. 60 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,319 I get you out of here by Monday with a slap on the wrist. Okay? 61 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,279 Okay. 62 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,947 Hey, let me ask you this. What is it? 63 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,365 So, this guy flies me out here 64 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,993 to make an appearance at his birthday party. 65 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,285 - Right. - And now he's not paying me. 66 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,079 Let's stick with this criminal case, okay? 67 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,789 - And then we can sit down and maybe talk about... - Yeah, I know, but you could see 68 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,083 how upsetting the whole... 69 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,751 Yeah, Larry! You're a hero. 70 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:31,961 Oh! 71 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,212 We love you, Larry! 72 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,529 Look at this. 73 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,430 Looks like you're some kind of liberal darling. 74 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,247 Huh? Ah. 75 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,393 Get the hell out of here. 76 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,811 - Come on. - That's right. 77 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,271 - Look at you. - How could I not 78 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,963 - be here for you? - Oh, what a pal! 79 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,984 I got an Airbnb for us. 80 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,069 I got all your luggage there. 81 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,612 You are all set. 82 00:02:58,636 --> 00:02:59,780 Hey, this is uh... 83 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,615 - Joe D'Angelo. - Yeah, we spoke on the phone. 84 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:02,700 How are you? 85 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,701 Joe. Yes. 86 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,202 - Yeah. - Nice to finally meet you. 87 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,370 Nice meeting you too. 88 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,496 A pleasure. Yeah, definitely. 89 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,457 Thank you for helping us out. 90 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,960 Oh, sure. Listen, I'll tell you what I tell all my clients. 91 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,879 Don't worry. You're in good hands. 92 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,279 Nice meeting you, Jeff. 93 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,346 - Weird. - It's... it's unbelievable. 94 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,765 - It's insane. - He looks just like Mocha Joe. 95 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,016 Have you ever seen 96 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,143 an uncanny resemblance like that in your life? No. No. 97 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,312 I never saw him. I only talked to him. 98 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,564 He was recommended. He was like the best. 99 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,025 But I have a natural antipathy towards him 100 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,318 because of Mocha Joe. 101 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,928 Yeah. I'm so sorry that I hired him. 102 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,574 Still... still the hair dye, 103 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,202 - still going with it, huh? - Oh, come on. I like it. I do. 104 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,995 I don't think you do. I like it. 105 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:51,332 I know you don't. 106 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,000 You're not being honest with your pal. 107 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,360 That's okay. Let's go greet my public. 108 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,467 Hello! Thank you. So nice of you. 109 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,956 Ah. 110 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,667 So, this is our rental? Yep. 111 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,521 Oh, this is uh, this is interesting. 112 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,564 - Mm-hmm. - I actually read this in jail 113 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:18,025 last night in the Scientific American. 114 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,402 That for thousands of years 115 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,886 humans have been putting on their shoes 116 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,156 using their index finger 117 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,533 - as a shoehorn. - Uh-huh. 118 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:29,537 And in some kind of Darwinian way we've adapted 119 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,164 and the index finger, in a couple of thousand years, 120 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,166 it's gonna look like a shoehorn. 121 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,836 The fuck are you talking about? Shoehorn? 122 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,714 No, look, you can see it's getting flatter. 123 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,424 They look like the other fingers. 124 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,509 What are you talking about? 125 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,594 I think it's Bullshit American, that's what I think. 126 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,537 - Bullshit American. - Looks like a shoehorn. 127 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,101 What? What is this doing on the lawn? 128 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,895 It came with the house. You think I put it on the lawn? 129 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,273 We didn't know it was there until we moved in. 130 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,233 Oh, that's... that's awful. 131 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,568 - Terrible. - That's awful. 132 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:03,696 Well, I... I can't stay in a house with that thing there. 133 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,781 A bottle of water! 134 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,451 I mean it's an outrageous law, Willie, but come on. 135 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,078 You gotta take your hat off to Larry David. 136 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,538 - Mm-hmm. - It had to be done, 137 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,665 and... and damn it, he did it. 138 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:15,750 Oh, hey. 139 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,835 What's... what's... what's with that thing out there? 140 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,253 - What thing? - The lawn jockey? 141 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,629 Oh, I know. 142 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,298 - Well, it... We're in the South. - My God! 143 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,091 - That's what they have. - Oh, come on. 144 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,509 We gotta... we gotta get rid of that thing. 145 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,511 - You're not getting rid of it. - I can't stay in this house 146 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,597 with that thing outside. I'm not comfortable. 147 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,558 This is an Airbnb. I gave a security deposit. 148 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,477 Just leave it the fuck alone. 149 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,853 You see what's going on here? 150 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,938 - It's a courageous stand. - Yes. 151 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,399 You know, maybe it's not Rosa Parks on the bus, 152 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,526 but you know, this is pretty important. 153 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,986 Oh, this is amazing. Yeah. 154 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,155 I don't wanna get all preachy about this, but you go back... 155 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,615 - What did Jesus say? - Yeah. 156 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,492 "I was thirsty and you gave me water." 157 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,951 That's what Larry did here. 158 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,412 And I'm just wondering, are Republicans, like, 159 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,955 really going to push getting this guy sent to jail? 160 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,083 - You go, Larry. - How about that, huh? 161 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:57,876 Wow. 162 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,710 This story gaining momentum, too. 163 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,421 Political figures, celebrities across the country 164 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:05,299 reacting to Larry David's brave stand. 165 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:08,386 Larry David is about action, not words. 166 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,679 He saw an injustice 167 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,348 and he did what he could to right it. 168 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,141 And that's what we need today in America. 169 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,394 It's a cause célèbre. Larry David took a big risk. 170 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,853 Oh my God. Yeah. 171 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,481 He put his name and his body on the line. 172 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:21,983 You're like a hero or something. 173 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,151 - Wow! - Involvement. 174 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,320 That's Larry David's middle name. 175 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,906 Larry "Involvement" David. 176 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,241 Can you believe that? 177 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,909 This Larry David they're talking about 178 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:32,703 seems like quite a fellow. 179 00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,036 - He is. - Well, that guy is. 180 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,496 - He's really something. - But we know better. 181 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,706 You must be exhausted. 182 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,457 You want a cup of coffee? I got coffee made. 183 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,542 That would be great. 184 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,419 - Thank you very much. - Yeah. 185 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,713 Hey, what's, uh, what's going on with Hulu? 186 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,048 Uh, 11 o'clock tomorrow morning, we got a Zoom call. 187 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,968 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Tomorrow you have a Zoom call? 188 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,053 - Yeah, we got a Zoom call. - I don't think so, Jeff. 189 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,179 You're gonna have to change that. 190 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,180 What the hell's the matter with you? 191 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,141 Oh, shit. 192 00:06:54,165 --> 00:06:55,766 It's your birthday. Yes, exactly. 193 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,311 No Zooming on my birthday. Oh, w... wait. 194 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,479 - No work on my birthday. - No work? 195 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,647 - No. - What? No Zooming? 196 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:02,940 What is that? A national holiday? 197 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,359 Well, it's... it's a sacred day for Jeff and me. 198 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,777 Is he allowed to go to the bathroom? 199 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,779 - Can he go to the bathroom? - Yes, he can go to the bathroom. 200 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,865 And you can do whatever the fuck you want. 201 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,576 - Oh, don't worry. - But Jeff is mine 202 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,411 all day. 203 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,203 Yeah, like he's ten years old? Come on. 204 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,621 You know, if I wasn't born, 205 00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,373 think the whole world would be shit. 206 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,000 You know what? If this was that movie 207 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,335 with, uh, Jimmy Stewart... 208 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,544 It's a Wonderful Life? Yeah. 209 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,880 And the angel was taking you around, 210 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,007 nobody would give a fuck. 211 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,467 Very funny. 212 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,076 Getting you coffee. 213 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,722 This is just insanity. 214 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,224 - Oh, yeah. - And you know what? 215 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,351 I gotta get her a gift. 216 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,478 I don't know where to go, what to get her. 217 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,396 You know, it's always a disappointment, 218 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,939 and I don't wanna break the bank. 219 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,107 It's so frustrating. 220 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,317 What a thing to go through. 221 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,069 You have to think about another person. 222 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,761 - It's just terrible. - Yeah. 223 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,824 - This is a possibility for you. - Hmm? 224 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,660 You don't wanna spend too much money. 225 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,744 Yeah. 226 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,245 And yet you wanna make her happy. 227 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,081 - Mm-hmm. - You get two gifts, 228 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,707 but you only give her one 229 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,959 and see how she reacts to the one. 230 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,586 If you see she's a little disappointed 231 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,129 'cause it's just one, 232 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,798 then you bring out the second. 233 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,218 If she's happy with the one, then you return the second. 234 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,136 How did I not think of that? So simple. 235 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,388 - Look at that. - Thank you. 236 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,014 Wow. Thanks. 237 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,289 What the fuck? 238 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,481 - What is that, man? - Yeah, I know. It's terrible. 239 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,691 It's terrible. You know? 240 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,442 You guys had to walk by him when you came in? 241 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,902 - No, we walked by there. - Well, I... I don't know. 242 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,612 I just saw it for the first time two minutes ago. 243 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,531 You fist bumped this motherfucker? 244 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,033 - No, we don't fist bump. - Hey, what's up? 245 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,244 You know what? Let's put it in the garage. 246 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,495 - This is crazy. - You wanna? 247 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,705 - Perfect. Let's do it. Okay. - Yeah, let's do this. 248 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,790 Jeez. Get him the fuck out of here. 249 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,711 This is heavy, man. What the fuck? 250 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,463 Are you guys doing anything? Yeah, I'm holding it. 251 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,989 - Whoa! - Oh! 252 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,217 Are you okay? 253 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,826 Oh, shit. 254 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,163 Oh, man. Come on. 255 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,391 Oh, man. 256 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,101 Look what you did. What I did? 257 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,562 I knew you would say that shit. I had the heaviest part. 258 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,771 - You two weaklings... - You got the heaviest part? 259 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,148 You volunteered for the heaviest part. 260 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,983 - You did it. - You said you wanted to stay in the back! 261 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,401 What're you talking about? You caused it. 262 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,652 What the hell happened? 263 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,322 What the hell? What did you guys do? 264 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,948 - We had an accident. - Yeah. 265 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,242 Why did you even move the fucking thing? 266 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,744 This is not our house. 267 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,787 All right. Well, you're gonna have to just find another one. 268 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,831 'Cause I am not eating the security deposit. 269 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,292 You hear me? Go buy a new one. 270 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,337 Right now. The exact same one! 271 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,862 Can we do it on your birthday? 272 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,550 Jesus. 273 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,510 All right. I'm gonna take a shower and then we'll... 274 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,179 How are we gonna find one of these things? 275 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,764 Don't forget, we gotta get Susie's gifts. 276 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,223 - Yeah, the gifts. Right, yeah. - All right? 277 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,268 This is so damn overwhelming. 278 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,561 Oh my God. 279 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,825 - I don't know what to get her. - Yeah, I don't envy you. 280 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,190 This is an impossible... 281 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,068 Hey, you're the guy that gave that lady the water. 282 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,445 Right, I'm the guy. 283 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,280 And you're the guy wearing a sweater 284 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,698 tied around his motherfucking neck. 285 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,450 How about that? 286 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,619 Hey, right there. Look at this place. 287 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,269 Let's do it. Let's do it. 288 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:08,042 This really looks like a Susie store. 289 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,252 Look at this stuff. It's pretty horrible. 290 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,629 What about this thing? 291 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,923 - Hey! Hey! - Fucking perfect. 292 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,716 I'm going over to Sunglass Hut. 293 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,677 - Really? - I'm getting gift number one. 294 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,845 You two scout for gift number two. 295 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,931 - All right. See you in a minute. - Yeah. Okay. 296 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,724 - This is stupid. What? - This is her shit. 297 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,393 I'm looking to shop for Susie? This is insane. 298 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,229 What do you buy a person who already has bullshit 299 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,438 like this bullshit? 300 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,047 Hey, you know what? 301 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,402 I got a big job. 302 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,654 Oh. Okay, okay. 303 00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,972 I gotta drop kids off at the pool. 304 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,575 You think they have a bathroom here? 305 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,994 Oh, they have a bathroom, 306 00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:46,455 but you can't use the bathroom unless you buy something. 307 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,749 - That's how they do it. - Ugh. 308 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,418 Hello, gentlemen. Oh, hey! 309 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,378 Hi, may I help you find something? 310 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,797 Oh, no, you know, we're just browsing. 311 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,424 We just got some gorgeous wide brimmed hats. 312 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,758 Oh! Fedoras? 313 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,344 - Yes, fedoras. - Oh, I love a fedora. Yeah. 314 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,554 Would you like to see any or... 315 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:02,888 Uh, y... you know, uh, I'm wondering, 316 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,849 do you have a... a restroom I... I could use? 317 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,308 Oh, you have to use the restroom? 318 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,435 Yeah. 319 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,752 Right now? 320 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:10,438 Kinda, yeah. 321 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,607 Um, yeah. Right this way. 322 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,842 - Oh, thank you. - Mm. 323 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,263 Look who showed up. Susie. 324 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,473 Let's go. 325 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,599 8Excuse me. 326 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,809 Is there anything else I can help you with? 327 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,561 I know you were interested in the fedoras. 328 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,646 I can show you those. 329 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,482 Yeah, you know, on second thought, um... 330 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,691 I don't think so. 331 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,859 Well 332 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,487 the restroom is for paying customers only. 333 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,489 Well, I browsed with intent to buy, 334 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:02,990 but unfortunately, 335 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:06,452 I didn't really see anything that was of interest to me. 336 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,329 In your previous condition, 337 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,730 how much would you have paid to use the restroom? 338 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,001 Five hundred? 339 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,629 Five hundred? Wow. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 340 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,131 I cannot believe I found a pair. 341 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,425 But I found the perfect pair for her. 342 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,344 Fantastic. 343 00:12:22,368 --> 00:12:24,494 I got mine. What'd you guys come up with? 344 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,515 - What did we... - Come up with? 345 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,683 - Well, we... - It's gonna be... 346 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,893 - We've been browsing... - All over the store. 347 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,753 And we've come up with 348 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,149 that purse. 349 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,484 That purse! That's perfect. 350 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,694 - Thank you, both! - Yes! 351 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,113 - Wow! Great call. - Yes. We found that 352 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,531 in the store. 353 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,783 See? I'm a customer. 354 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,284 No, he's a customer. 355 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,561 You're just his friend who pooped in our toilet. 356 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,301 - Can I help you find anything? - Oh! 357 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,404 - Hey there. - How you doing? 358 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,364 Good. Um 359 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,117 interested in buying a, uh 360 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,910 a lawn jockey they're called, right? 361 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,537 Yeah, that's exactly what they are. Yeah. 362 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,247 Yeah. A lawn jockey. Yeah. 363 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:36,816 I noticed that they're all pretty much the same 364 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,337 you know, ethnicity. 365 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,445 Mm-hmm. 366 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,116 Wondering if, perhaps, you have any, uh 367 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,118 darker ones? 368 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:49,037 Darker how? 369 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,873 Black? 370 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,227 You... you want a Black one? 371 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,022 It's not what you think. Okay? It's not... 372 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,441 It's not what you think. It's a long story. Uh... 373 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,984 Yeah, it's like 400 years long. 374 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,819 - Yeah. - Starts in Nigeria. 375 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,365 I, uh, believe me, I have the same aversion to them 376 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,075 as you do. Um... 377 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,284 But you're looking for one. 378 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,953 Yeah... again, it's a long story. 379 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,331 I have nothing to do with it. I just have to replace it, 380 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,792 - really. Um... - So you already had one? 381 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,502 Uh, okay, uh... 382 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:23,547 You know, this one, this one looks very similar to the 383 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,965 you know, the... the... 384 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,926 - The Black one? - The Black one. 385 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,844 Let me ask you this question. 386 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,161 Do you sell 387 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,349 black paint? 388 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,959 No. No, we don't have black paint here. 389 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:37,812 Shoe polish? 390 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,105 No, we don't have any shoe polish, 391 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,273 we don't have any tar, we don't have anything like that. 392 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,316 Mm-hmm. 393 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,818 Okay. 394 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:44,986 You know what? 395 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,737 I think I'm gonna get that one. 396 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,888 And, uh, I think I can work with that. 397 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,288 It's white. 398 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,623 Yeah. I know. 399 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,918 Something about him, too. I can't put my finger on it. 400 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,336 Why didn't you go to a paint store? 401 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,964 I looked. I couldn't find a paint store that was open. 402 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,883 Susie will be here any minute. What are we gonna do? 403 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,035 Got any... shoe polish? 404 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,370 I don't have shoe polish. 405 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,171 What are you looking at? 406 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,409 Pretty good. This is great. 407 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,910 Great idea. Susie's here. 408 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,353 - What? - Let's go. 409 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,106 Fuck! 410 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,002 - Hey. - Oh! 411 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,545 Hi. Hey, hey. 412 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:45,963 Okay. Hey. 413 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,757 Let's see. Huh? 414 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,383 - Yeah. - Hey. 415 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,926 Okay. It's the same? 416 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,303 - Oh, yeah. Yeah. I brought the... - You sure? 417 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,763 I brought the head with me. Yeah. 418 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,205 You brought the head with you. 419 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,248 Huh. 420 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,751 Hmm. 421 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,148 All right. You're off the hook. 422 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,317 - We are off the hook. - Don't do any more stupid shit. 423 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,944 - The three of you. - No, no more stupid shit. 424 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,072 Wasn't eating that security deposit. 425 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:14,099 No. Yeah. Okay. 426 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,369 How about that? 427 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:18,245 How about them apples? 428 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,206 Great! Great! 429 00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:20,748 All right. Let's clean this shit up. 430 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,148 All right. 431 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,877 So, for thousands of years, 432 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,088 humans have been putting on their shoes 433 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,631 using their index finger 434 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,299 as a shoehorn. Right. 435 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,535 And, in time, our index fingers have been... 436 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,723 - Happy birthday! - For me? 437 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,935 Oh-ho! Oh, baby doll! 438 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:43,003 Oh, baby! 439 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,856 Sunglasses? 440 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,733 Wow. Fantastic. 441 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,485 You like 'em? 442 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,570 - I like 'em. Let me look at 'em. - She likes 'em. 443 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,073 - She likes 'em. - Let's see how they look on. I do like 'em. 444 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,574 Let me see, let me see. Turn... 445 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,327 As many women from Long Island would say, 446 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,454 "To die for." That's true. 447 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,332 And you know what? It's a nice memento of our trip to Atlanta. 448 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,750 - Yeah, birthday gift. - I... I... 449 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,252 I love them. You did good, babe. 450 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,153 - You did good. Yeah. - Thank you. I did good. 451 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,674 Ah, the texts just keep coming in. 452 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,426 - The birthday wishes. - Oh, boy. 453 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,969 Oh, jeez. What's the matter? 454 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,637 Oh, it's... I hate to bring this up, 455 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,097 but I got this, um 456 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,932 meeting with my lawyer now, and... 457 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,018 - Oh! - All right. Go. We'll see you later. 458 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,312 Yeah, I mean, the problem is, I can't really go alone 459 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,938 'cause I don't know what the hell I'm doing. 460 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:26,939 Oh. 461 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,983 If I could bring Jeff... I know it's your birthday. 462 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,777 I'm sorry to ask, but this is important and, 463 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,280 and I just need him there for support. 464 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,823 You do realize it's her birthday? 465 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:36,866 I know it's her birthday. 466 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,200 I tried to change it to another day, 467 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,828 but he said the papers had to be filed by today. 468 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:43,998 All right, all right, all right. You know what? 469 00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:47,668 This is real life. This is important. You go. 470 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,296 - Be... Come right back! - Back before you know it. 471 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,048 What is it, an hour? Hour and a half? 472 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,716 It's not gonna take long at all. I promise. 473 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,533 Oh, Sammy just called. 474 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,679 Oh, by the way 475 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:01,223 the upshot of the article? Yeah. 476 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,184 That in thousands of years, 477 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:06,020 our index fingers are gonna resemble shoehorns. 478 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,688 Check it out. You can see it. 479 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,631 You see the shape of it? Look. 480 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,859 Flat. 481 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,573 - Oh, yeah! - Unbelievable, right? 482 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,201 Look at this. This is expensive too, huh? 483 00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,726 - Yeah. Hey. - Yeah. 484 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,245 You were right. 485 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,896 Thank you. Let's go return it. 486 00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,234 Oh! 487 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,653 Another fucking gift? 488 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,216 You two sneaky cocksuckers. 489 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,908 What're they doing with that? 490 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:38,827 Fucking idiots. 491 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,057 Excuse me. 492 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,457 I'd like to return this. 493 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,896 - You wanna return it? - Yes, please. 494 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,815 Hmm. You feel comfortable with this? 495 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,108 I feel comfortable? What are you... 496 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,276 - What are you talking about? - After what you did? 497 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,445 What... what did I do? I didn't do anything. 498 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,031 Oh, I used the bathroom. What a crime I committed! 499 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,158 I used their precious bathroom. 500 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,411 Hey, this isn't even mine. I'm not even the customer. 501 00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,079 He's the customer. I didn't buy it. 502 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,123 Yeah, exactly. You weren't a customer. 503 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,250 And you had no intention of ever being a customer. 504 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,418 You just go into random stores 505 00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:11,752 and use them as your public restroom. 506 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:16,090 All right. Okay. It's enough! Okay? I'll buy something. 507 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,509 - Okay? Will that make you happy? - Yes. 508 00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:20,928 What? What can I buy in this store? 509 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,203 I have just the thing. 510 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,209 I think this would bring out your eyes. 511 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:29,438 Oh. 512 00:19:29,462 --> 00:19:30,938 Mm-hmm, does bring out your eyes. 513 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,589 Really? Let's try it on. 514 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,610 - Fabulous. - This is amazing. 515 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,821 It's not the kind of thing I would generally wear, but... 516 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:39,947 No, it works. 517 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,782 I'll ring it up. A Southern gentleman. 518 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,075 - Poppin'. - I'll take it. 519 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,077 - Yeah. - Brings out my eyes. 520 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,686 That'll be 650. 521 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,198 All right. This won't be long. 522 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,843 I'll text you when I'm done. 523 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,261 All right. Well, good luck to you. 524 00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:04,829 - Okay. - Tell the lawyer I said hey. 525 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,557 Okay. 526 00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,143 And I thought I was gonna faint, you know? 527 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,228 And when I told him how thirsty I was, 528 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,648 he just went to the car and got me a bottle of water. 529 00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,983 - I understand. - And it really made me feel 530 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,151 - so much better. - I understand. 531 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,611 See? Thank you, baby. 532 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,447 And how long would you say you were on line at the voting? 533 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,741 It was over two and a half hours. 534 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:24,992 What a disgrace. 535 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:28,537 Okay, so look, as your attorney, I just wanna be above board. 536 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,498 And, when we get in front of the judge, 537 00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:32,375 you're going to plead guilty, correct? 538 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,085 - Yeah. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 539 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,252 Larry. Uh-uh. 540 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:38,089 I thought that you was gonna help us fight this evil law. 541 00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:40,466 - Uh, well... - You gonna plead guilty? 542 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,009 What you mean you gonna plead guilty, Larry? 543 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,344 - He has to plead guilty. - No! 544 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:47,264 Larry is here to help us fight for our cause. 545 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,516 Well, yeah. I am gonna fight. 546 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,351 You know, I'll fight it in my own way. 547 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:53,479 So what you mean is you're gonna do it no way. 548 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,523 Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry. 549 00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:56,983 I don't wanna go to jail! 550 00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,568 Larry, people are thinking you a hero. 551 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,362 I thought you were better than that. 552 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,864 I really did. 553 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:04,865 I smell s... Leon, 554 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,534 I smell something burning. 555 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:09,704 You better not be throwing no spaghetti up in my ceiling. 556 00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,872 We ran out of spaghetti sauce, so I had to use ketchup. 557 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,708 Boy, what are you cooking over here? 558 00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:16,585 I'm doing the best I can with just Heinz ketchup and spaghetti! 559 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,087 You're still pleading guilty, right? 560 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,505 Oh, yeah. 561 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:20,864 Good. 562 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,385 Man! 563 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,054 This woman's coffee. Have you had this woman's coffee? 564 00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,681 It's amazing. 565 00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,183 You know, I wanted to ask her where she got the beans, but... 566 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:35,396 I, uh... It's gotta be the beans, you know? 567 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:37,398 It's the beans, like my old man used to say. 568 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,401 All about the beans. 569 00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:42,278 You don't have the beans, you don't have the coffee. 570 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,613 You like coffee, Larry? Hmm? 571 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,699 Try this coffee. Have a sip of this coffee, Larry. 572 00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,451 Good coffee is all about the beans. 573 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,910 I'm gonna ask her where she get these beans. 574 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:51,787 You don't have the beans, you don't have the coffee. 575 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,081 You want a cup of coffee, Larry? Have a sip of this coffee. 576 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:56,305 Have you had this coffee, Larry? You like coffee, Larry? 577 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,213 I c... 578 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,715 Can't do this anymore. 579 00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,924 What's wrong? 580 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,368 You remind me of someone. 581 00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,536 I detest. 582 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,599 Sorry. 583 00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,439 How'd it go? 584 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,983 Fired the lawyer. 585 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,425 Mocha Joe? 586 00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,427 Mocha Joe. 587 00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,990 Is it a million degrees or is it my imagination? 588 00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,391 It's unbelievable. 589 00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:31,601 It's scorching. 590 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:40,169 I cannot believe this weather. Is it hot here? 591 00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:41,545 This isn't... Crazy. 592 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,589 It's like nothing I've ever experienced. 593 00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:44,656 Yeah. 594 00:22:46,741 --> 00:22:48,993 Something you wanna tell me, huh? 595 00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,140 - What? - Where have you been? 596 00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:56,102 Um... well, I went to the, uh, lawyer. 597 00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:57,436 - The lawyer? - Mm-hmm. 598 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,939 You went to the lawyer. Uh-huh. 599 00:22:59,963 --> 00:23:04,068 With a gift box, you went to the fucking lawyer? 600 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,486 Well, it was just a show of my 601 00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:06,696 - appreciation. - Appreciation. 602 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,056 Oh, really? And how did Perry Mason like his gift? 603 00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:11,535 Liked it. 604 00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:13,202 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, he liked it. - Yeah. 605 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:14,996 You are so full of shit, both of you. 606 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:19,291 'Cause I saw you on the video up in the tree house 607 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:20,751 taking that box out. 608 00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:24,046 What do you got? Like a Georgia whore 609 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,756 who you're giving gifts to? 610 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:26,675 No Georgia whore. 611 00:23:26,699 --> 00:23:28,759 Yeah. Well, who the fuck was that gift for? 612 00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:31,512 I saw you all taking it out and all, "Oh, look, I got it." 613 00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:34,015 "I'm all excited." And you two high fiving. 614 00:23:34,039 --> 00:23:36,350 - Who was the gift for? - You. 615 00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:38,853 You think I'm gonna believe that bullshit? 616 00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:40,086 Then where is it? 617 00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:41,838 I returned it. 618 00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:43,357 You returned it? 619 00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:44,984 It was expensive. 620 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:47,069 - So what? - Well, you 621 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:48,404 you liked the first one, 622 00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:49,947 so the second one was unnecessary. 623 00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,824 You couldn't give me two fucking gifts? 624 00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:53,117 What was it? 625 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,243 A purse. 626 00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,370 So on my birthday, 627 00:23:56,394 --> 00:24:00,624 you spent your day returning my birthday gift. 628 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:03,044 Oh, that's a wonderful use of time, 629 00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:04,486 both of you. 630 00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:06,571 Oh my God. 631 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,050 Oh my God. 632 00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,825 What's going on here? 633 00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:16,081 What the fuck is this? 634 00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:19,626 Hair dye. 635 00:24:20,418 --> 00:24:21,520 All right, you two. 636 00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,898 You have really gone too far this time. 637 00:24:23,922 --> 00:24:26,984 Go out and get me a Black jockey right now! 638 00:24:27,008 --> 00:24:28,486 You better fucking find one. 639 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,637 And I want that purse back too. 640 00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:32,406 It's Giuliani! 641 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:34,158 No wonder I thought he looked like an asshole. 642 00:24:34,182 --> 00:24:35,409 Just go! 643 00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:38,371 - Giuliani! - Go! Go! Go! 644 00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:42,041 Now! It's my fucking birthday. You're ruining it. 645 00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,256 All right, Leon. Where do we go? 646 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,549 You gotta ride a little further out 647 00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:51,759 if you wanna find one. 648 00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:53,260 All right. Well, direct us. What should we do? 649 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,428 Just keep fucking driving. 650 00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:56,287 I'll tell you where to fucking turn. 651 00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,017 Look, this whole Black lawn jockey shit 652 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:01,477 is bullshit anyway. 653 00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,354 You know, it should be something more respectable. 654 00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:05,606 Like a fucking Black lawn doctor 655 00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,900 with a stethoscope around his fucking neck. 656 00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:08,777 Totally! 657 00:25:08,801 --> 00:25:10,111 Giving motherfuckers checkups and shit. 658 00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,946 - That's perfect. - O... or... or a fucking lawyer 659 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,972 holding a briefcase and shit. Yeah. 660 00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:17,451 Oh, look, right there. Look, look, look, look. 661 00:25:17,475 --> 00:25:19,620 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. 662 00:25:19,644 --> 00:25:21,789 Hi, good afternoon. I'm wondering, uh, 663 00:25:21,813 --> 00:25:24,125 if you might be interested in selling your lawn jockey. 664 00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:25,525 No. 665 00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:27,902 No! 666 00:25:28,653 --> 00:25:29,946 Get out of here! 667 00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:35,136 - Yeah? - Good afternoon. 668 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,637 I'm so sorry to bother you. 669 00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:38,848 - I recognize you. - Ah. 670 00:25:38,872 --> 00:25:41,350 You're the wing nut that came down here 671 00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:43,185 and is messing with our elections. 672 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,478 Yeah. Yep. That's me. 673 00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:46,981 What the hell you want with my lawn jockey? 674 00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:50,318 My sister's an avowed racist, and she's very sick. 675 00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:51,843 I thought this might cheer her up. 676 00:25:53,845 --> 00:25:56,264 That sounds familiar. Nothing. No luck. 677 00:25:57,932 --> 00:26:00,894 Well, what are we gonna do? 678 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:03,146 We gotta do something. 679 00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:06,107 Who you calling? 680 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,586 Oh, hell! 681 00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:10,671 Larry! What are you doing, big guy? 682 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:11,964 Hey, Emmett. 683 00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:13,632 Hey, listen, I gotta tell you something. 684 00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:15,801 I cut out dairy like you said, 685 00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:17,762 and everything is better in my life. 686 00:26:17,786 --> 00:26:20,181 I feel like a million damn dollars. 687 00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:21,724 That's... that's fantastic. 688 00:26:21,748 --> 00:26:23,559 It's all 'cause of you, Larry. 689 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:26,187 I just can't thank you enough. I wish there was a 690 00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,254 a way I could repay you somehow. 691 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,191 Actually... 692 00:26:30,215 --> 00:26:32,735 Yeah. Be careful, it's fragile. 693 00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,821 Got it. Now slide it that way. Pull the bottom down that way. 694 00:26:35,845 --> 00:26:39,075 - It's bottom heavy. It should be fine like that. - There we go. Thank you, Emmett. 695 00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:40,618 Yeah, no problem. 696 00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:42,328 - Thanks so much. - Hey, my pleasure. 697 00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:44,372 Larry, I'll tell you, ever since I... 698 00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:47,458 I quit this lactose business, I'm turning over a new leaf. 699 00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:49,001 That little statue I got from the church? 700 00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:51,319 - Yeah. - That's the last thing I'm ever stealing. 701 00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:53,214 Stay right there. 702 00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:54,382 What? 703 00:26:54,406 --> 00:26:56,783 - Don't you move. - All right. 704 00:26:57,409 --> 00:26:58,678 The hell's this? 705 00:26:58,702 --> 00:27:00,971 Whoa! 706 00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:02,890 - What the hell is... - Go ahead. 707 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:03,850 This for me? 708 00:27:03,874 --> 00:27:06,978 - Try it on. - You got... Oh, shit! 709 00:27:07,002 --> 00:27:09,480 - There you go. - Whoo! Good Lord. 710 00:27:09,504 --> 00:27:11,232 You know, you do Larry David a solid, 711 00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:14,175 - that's what you get in return. - God almighty, man. 712 00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:15,945 Woo-wee! 713 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,614 Wow! You are a real Southern gentleman. 714 00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:19,865 Fits perfect. 715 00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:21,933 - Great to meet you. - Pleasure meetin' you. 716 00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:23,536 All right, boys. 717 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,746 Y'all drive safe, all right? 718 00:27:25,770 --> 00:27:29,232 You come back to Atlanta any time. 719 00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:32,628 Ah! Pastor, y'all having a good time? 720 00:27:32,652 --> 00:27:34,005 Yes, Miss Rae. 721 00:27:34,029 --> 00:27:36,507 Listen here now. I want y'all to eat as much as you can, 722 00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:38,092 - all right? - Sure will. 723 00:27:38,116 --> 00:27:41,387 Chester, you better put some more ribs on this plate. 724 00:27:41,411 --> 00:27:43,264 One rib. What are you thinking, boy? 725 00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:45,391 Yes, ma'am, I got ya. All right, I'm coming. 726 00:27:45,415 --> 00:27:46,684 God, look at all these people. 727 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:48,251 Yeah, church barbecue. 728 00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,440 All right. See you later. Hey, Leon! 729 00:27:52,464 --> 00:27:54,191 - Hey! - Listen, is... is Larry with you? 730 00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:56,736 Larry's right there. Hey, Larry! 731 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,529 Come on, Larry. Come on. Get out the car. 732 00:27:58,553 --> 00:28:01,198 - Hey. - Everybody, this is Larry David. 733 00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:03,034 Give him a big round of applause, y'all. 734 00:28:03,058 --> 00:28:04,827 Say, "Hi, Larry." 735 00:28:04,851 --> 00:28:05,953 Hello, everyone. 736 00:28:05,977 --> 00:28:08,497 Larry. See all these people? They love you. 737 00:28:08,521 --> 00:28:10,166 I know you not gonna disappoint them. 738 00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:11,751 No, we-we... So come on. Uh-uh. 739 00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:13,544 Get out that car and get you something to eat, boy. 740 00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:15,129 All right. Okay, I'm coming. 741 00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:16,130 All right. Okay. 742 00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:17,798 Give him another big round of applause, y'all. 743 00:28:17,822 --> 00:28:21,135 Larry David. Yes! 744 00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:22,386 Least I could do. 745 00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:24,555 Oh, uh, Jeff, right? 746 00:28:24,579 --> 00:28:26,140 - Yeah. - Come on and get you some too. 747 00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:28,643 You know what? I want you to meet Pastor Sherman, okay? 748 00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:30,603 Yeah. Hey, would it be okay if I use the bathroom? 749 00:28:30,627 --> 00:28:32,427 Oh, absolutely. Right through there. Go ahead. 750 00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:40,071 Hey, you see this guy right here? 751 00:28:40,095 --> 00:28:41,989 That does not look like his jacket. 752 00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:44,766 Let's light him up. 753 00:28:48,937 --> 00:28:50,748 What the hell is this? 754 00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:52,500 You gotta be kidding me. 755 00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:54,025 Where you get this jacket, sir? 756 00:28:54,693 --> 00:28:56,545 What? It was a gift. 757 00:28:56,569 --> 00:28:58,988 A gift? Why is the tag still on there, sir? 758 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,926 Honestly, I didn't know it was on there. 759 00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:03,743 Let me see your driver's license. 760 00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:05,847 Shit. 761 00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:15,690 - Come with me. - What? 762 00:29:15,714 --> 00:29:17,566 - You're under arrest. - This is bullshit, man. 763 00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:19,151 What the fuck? Ow! 764 00:29:19,175 --> 00:29:21,654 I didn't fucking steal it! Get in the car, sir. 765 00:29:21,678 --> 00:29:23,823 It was from my friend Larry. Yeah. 766 00:29:23,847 --> 00:29:26,784 Some crazy old man I met in jail talking about almonds. 767 00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:28,494 Come on. Fuck! 768 00:29:28,518 --> 00:29:29,787 Hey, Jeff. 769 00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:31,580 How you enjoying them ribs? 770 00:29:31,604 --> 00:29:33,374 They got a kick to them. You know that? 771 00:29:33,398 --> 00:29:35,960 - Ma'am, they're delightful. - I'm glad you loving them. 772 00:29:35,984 --> 00:29:39,213 Chester, I need you to box up some more of those ribs 773 00:29:39,237 --> 00:29:41,424 so that Jeff can take them home with him. 774 00:29:41,448 --> 00:29:44,010 Coming up. 775 00:29:44,034 --> 00:29:46,137 Ah, Larry David. Larry David. 776 00:29:46,161 --> 00:29:47,972 - I'm Pastor Sherman. - Pastor Sherman! 777 00:29:47,996 --> 00:29:49,515 - Pleasure to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 778 00:29:49,539 --> 00:29:50,808 Come on. Let me introduce you 779 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:52,351 - to the congregation. - Oh, no, no. 780 00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:54,603 Uh, Saints, listen, listen. 781 00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:56,731 Listen up. This man! 782 00:29:56,755 --> 00:30:00,067 This man is an inspiration. 783 00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:02,903 - Oh, yes. - It's gone a little overboard. 784 00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:04,155 You see, Larry David... 785 00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:06,473 Or... or... or should I call you Larry Daniel? 786 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:12,079 Because just like Daniel, he walked into the lion's den 787 00:30:12,103 --> 00:30:13,247 without fear. 788 00:30:13,271 --> 00:30:15,666 You know what? I like the sound of that. Larry Daniel. 789 00:30:15,690 --> 00:30:17,359 Maybe I'll change my last name. 790 00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:21,088 You see, like Larry is that powerful man today 791 00:30:21,112 --> 00:30:22,923 for the Black community here in Atlanta. 792 00:30:22,947 --> 00:30:26,093 What the... Hey! Hey, hey! 793 00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:30,830 Oh, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. No! 794 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,667 What the fuck? 795 00:30:37,629 --> 00:30:39,506 Motherfucker's got a lawn jockey! 796 00:30:40,215 --> 00:30:42,318 What is wrong with you, man? 797 00:30:42,342 --> 00:30:43,569 It makes me sick! 798 00:30:43,593 --> 00:30:45,637 Oh, no, no, no! 799 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,141 Get out of here, man. 800 00:30:52,143 --> 00:30:55,480 Hey, hey! It's not mine! Bye, Larry! 801 00:30:56,314 --> 00:30:58,125 Mr. David, uh, you've been charged 802 00:30:58,149 --> 00:31:01,003 with one count of obstruction of the election process 803 00:31:01,027 --> 00:31:02,254 in the state of Georgia. 804 00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:04,048 And if you're found guilty at trial, 805 00:31:04,072 --> 00:31:06,133 you'll be subject to a fine of 10,000 dollars 806 00:31:06,157 --> 00:31:07,951 and up to a year in prison. 807 00:31:08,493 --> 00:31:09,577 How do you plead, sir? 808 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,604 Not guilty. Oh! 809 00:31:18,628 --> 00:31:21,023 Now, that's the Larry David I know! 810 00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:24,151 Trial set for 90 days hence. Next case! 811 00:31:24,175 --> 00:31:26,779 That's why I already made a big ole pot 812 00:31:26,803 --> 00:31:28,614 of those put-yo-foot-in-it greens, 813 00:31:28,638 --> 00:31:32,660 and I got some of that shotgun shoot-it-'fore-they-run-now 814 00:31:32,684 --> 00:31:34,286 spicy fried chicken! 815 00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:36,163 You know I'm going. We going back to the house! 816 00:31:36,213 --> 00:31:40,763 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 59171

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