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[SERENE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:07,281 --> 00:00:10,117
MALE NARRATOR:
Confucius, Buddha, Jesus,
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00:00:10,201 --> 00:00:12,076
they all brought light to darkness.
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00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,121
But none of them had
one million subscribers, so…
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00:00:15,205 --> 00:00:17,331
[MACHO MALE VOICE READING]
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Your videos changed my life!
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[HIGH-PITCHED] Changed my life!
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You are my queen!
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[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
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-[WOMAN LAUGHING DRAMATICALLY]
-GINA: No, Italian girl.
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00:00:29,926 --> 00:00:32,104
We are changing the
world, for we are the G-Hive.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:33,387 --> 00:00:37,473
And today we are celebrating
our one millionth subscriber.
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00:00:37,557 --> 00:00:39,475
Over one million people
are living their lives
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00:00:39,559 --> 00:00:41,185
according to the Gina-mandments.
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They're like the Ten Commandments,
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only there's more, and they're better.
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I would now like to express my gratitude
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00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,858
the best way I know how, through song.
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♪ Gratitude ♪
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♪ Grati-tat-tat-tat tatitude!
Grati-tat-tat-tat-tatitude! ♪
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Gratitude.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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Guys?
Guess who I just got off the phone with.
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My cousin Pam.
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What? No. Why would you think that?
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You always seemed kind
of jealous of my relationship
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with him, so I thought maybe
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you called him up to
settle your differences.
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I'm definitely not jealous of Pam.
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He owns a bird shop.
I barely remember him.
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You remember the bird shop.
It wasn't Pam.
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No, I was actually talking
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-to none other than Gina Linetti.
-JEFFORDS: Really?
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No one's heard from her in months.
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Well, she just invited us to
go check out her new place.
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I'm surprised you're
so excited to see her.
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00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:40,360
I mean, she's been blowing
you off ever since she left.
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What? In what way?
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She bailed on your birthday drinks.
It wasn't that fun.
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She was a no-show at
your Secret Santa party!
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Christmas is overrated.
She hasn't called you in months!
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I'm not that interesting.
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Look, what is going on with you?
Are you hangry?
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00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,244
No. I just ate six hard-boiled eggs.
46
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Well, maybe you should've
made it a cool "doz."
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Look, I know Gina hasn't
been around very much,
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but we're gonna spend time with her today,
and it's gonna be just like old times.
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-[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
-Gina's gonna be a few minutes.
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-Her photo shoot is running over.
-[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
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PHOTOGRAPHER: Yes, Moses! Lookin' good!
Now work those commandments!
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PERALTA: See, Sarge?
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Just like old times.
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Ah, Boyle, there you are.
I have a question for you.
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Daddy, wait up!
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00:02:12,596 --> 00:02:14,973
Oh.
Your non-adult is at our place of work.
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00:02:15,057 --> 00:02:16,307
Nikolaj had a half-day at school
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for Mariano Rivera's birthday.
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I'm watching him on my lunch break.
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Nikolaj, say "hi" to Captain Holt.
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-Hi, Captain Holt! How's Mr. Kevin?
-HOLT: Stressed.
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His annual budget review is today,
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and a recent change in federal policy
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means his grant situation is tenuous.
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At best. Okay.
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BOYLE: Hey, Nikolaj, Daddy
and Captain Holt need to talk.
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Why don't you go do some drawing?
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Oh, he loves doing art.
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He made a portrait of our dog Biscuit
that had all of his surgical scars.
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Yes. Children are wonders.
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00:02:40,829 --> 00:02:42,747
I'm conducting a statistical analysis
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to get a more nuanced understanding
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of which areas in our jurisdiction
need greater police presence with a hope
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of developing a formula that…
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What on Walden Pond is this?
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Nikolaj, no, that's important!
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I'm so sorry, sir.
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I don't spank him,
but I will reprimand him
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in my own way.
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Niko. I love you.
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-I'm so sorry, Daddy!
-HOLT: No, no, no.
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00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:04,056
He didn't ruin it, he solved it.
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00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,725
The absolute value of psi.
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00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:08,810
Nikolaj cracked the equation.
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Boyle, your boy is a genius!
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GINA: Jacob, Terrencio!
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Give Moses a hug! [EXCLAIMING]
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It's so good to see you!
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Ugh. That shoot took forever.
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Did Janelle offer you a snack?
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She did. I had linguine.
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[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] So
what's been going on with you?
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Well, that's actually why I called.
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Uh, it's not a big deal at all,
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but someone's threatening to murder me.
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What? Damn, Gina!
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I mean, I'm not worried
about it in the slightest.
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Anyone who has an online
presence gets meaningless threats.
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It actually is a sign that I made it.
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00:03:38,836 --> 00:03:40,962
Congrats? Thanks, thank you.
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The only thing is, I have my first
speaking engagement tomorrow
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and the organizer says
he's going to cancel it
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unless I have police protection, so…
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Would you guys come
tomorrow and police protect me?
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00:03:50,805 --> 00:03:52,388
Yes, of course, yes.
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-Oh, thanks so much. [GASPS SOFTLY]
-[CELL PHONE RINGING]
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[WHISPERING] Oh.
This is my agent. I'm so sorry.
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[SPEAKING NORMALLY]
Duncan, this better be good news.
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DUNCAN [ON CELL PHONE]: Oh, it is.
Your video's huge, from Spokane to Spain,
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you're global, Gines!
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00:04:03,107 --> 00:04:04,650
Now, let's talk strategy.
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00:04:04,734 --> 00:04:06,025
This is gonna take a while.
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00:04:06,109 --> 00:04:08,903
Do you guys want to get drinks
at Shaw's later and catch up?
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00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:10,279
Oh. Yeah. That sounds really fun.
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00:04:10,363 --> 00:04:12,031
Great. I'll see you then!
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-Okay.
-GINA: So, Dunce,
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I have an idea for a second book.
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It's a memoir, and it's made of memes.
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00:04:18,537 --> 00:04:20,622
So, it's called a meme-oir.
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00:04:21,789 --> 00:04:24,750
-Whoa! Rosa! What happened?
-DIAZ: I touched poison oak.
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00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:26,751
The doctor says I have to keep
my hands bandaged for a week
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00:04:26,835 --> 00:04:28,002
so I don't scratch them.
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00:04:28,086 --> 00:04:29,587
How did it happen? I was on a nature hike
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and I went off-trail to
pick a pretty little flower.
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00:04:31,089 --> 00:04:32,465
BOTH: Aw!
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00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:35,092
Shut up. Now scram.
I have a case report to type up.
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00:04:35,176 --> 00:04:37,261
Uh, there's no way
you're using a keyboard
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00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,720
with your hands like that.
Oh! I could help you!
129
00:04:39,804 --> 00:04:43,307
Not to brag, but at typing
camp, everyone called me
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00:04:43,391 --> 00:04:44,934
"The Finger Queen."
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00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,727
Oh, my God, that sounds really dirty.
I swear that's not what it meant.
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00:04:47,811 --> 00:04:49,396
Yeah, it was typing camp.
Nobody thinks that.
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00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,564
Anyway, I don't need your help.
134
00:04:50,648 --> 00:04:53,274
You're really gonna try to make it
through an entire day on your own?
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00:04:53,358 --> 00:04:54,567
Well, well, well.
136
00:04:54,651 --> 00:04:56,902
Rosa Diaz is finally
gonna learn the lesson
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00:04:56,986 --> 00:04:59,404
that no matter how
strong she is on her own,
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00:04:59,488 --> 00:05:02,240
true strength comes from
accepting help from others.
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00:05:02,324 --> 00:05:03,724
That's not what's happening.
140
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,536
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. That's how
normal people take their coats off.
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00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:08,829
I'm fine.
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00:05:08,913 --> 00:05:10,038
I can see that.
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00:05:10,122 --> 00:05:11,832
This is going well. Clearly.
144
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,588
[SIGHS]
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00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,549
Why are you sliding
into my side of the booth?
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00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:24,551
Because that side is the solo side.
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00:05:24,635 --> 00:05:26,760
You always put the person you
want to catch up with on the solo side,
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otherwise one of us will
spend the whole night
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00:05:28,137 --> 00:05:29,597
straining our necks looking sideways.
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00:05:29,681 --> 00:05:31,473
I'm straining my neck
talking to you right now.
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00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:32,558
Okay, so don't look at me, Terry.
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00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:34,142
Just face forward. You see me every day.
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00:05:34,226 --> 00:05:35,226
Fine. Fine.
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00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:37,604
I gotta say, I'm surprised
Gina invited us to drinks tonight.
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00:05:37,688 --> 00:05:40,814
She obviously only invited us over to
her place because she needed a favor.
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00:05:40,898 --> 00:05:42,524
Why are you still so down on her?
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00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:43,692
I've been through this before.
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00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:46,360
In college, I had a football
buddy, Bryant Ungerbert…
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00:05:46,444 --> 00:05:48,404
Oh, let me guess, you
guys were best friends,
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00:05:48,488 --> 00:05:50,823
then he got drafted into the
NFL, and now you never talk.
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00:05:50,907 --> 00:05:53,033
No, he got drafted into the
Canadian Football League,
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00:05:53,117 --> 00:05:54,701
became a long snapper for Ottawa,
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00:05:54,785 --> 00:05:56,953
and even that level of
success ruined our friendship.
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00:05:57,037 --> 00:05:59,122
He's still playing? How is that possible?
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00:05:59,206 --> 00:06:00,789
You're 35 to 60 years old.
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00:06:00,873 --> 00:06:02,791
It's Canada. They don't tackle as hard.
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00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:05,502
Anyway, his career became
the only thing that mattered.
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00:06:05,586 --> 00:06:07,378
He was off doing photo
shoots, commercials,
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00:06:07,462 --> 00:06:08,922
speaking at long snapping conventions…
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00:06:09,006 --> 00:06:10,381
Is that a thing? In Canada,
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00:06:10,465 --> 00:06:12,383
it's like the Oscars. Look, the point is,
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00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:14,301
he stopped making time for his friends.
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Fine, but that's not
what's happening here.
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Nothing has changed with Gina.
She's not an Ungerbert.
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JANELLE: Hi.
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00:06:19,849 --> 00:06:22,058
So, Gina won't be
able to make it tonight.
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She doesn't have time.
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00:06:23,393 --> 00:06:25,311
But here are your credentials
for tomorrow's event.
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00:06:25,395 --> 00:06:26,853
Have a great night.
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00:06:26,937 --> 00:06:28,022
Oh, no.
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00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,899
She is an Ungerbert.
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00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:35,820
Hey, Gina's prepping inside.
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00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,363
You get some rest last night? Yeah,
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00:06:37,447 --> 00:06:40,365
because I got home from our 9:30
drinks at 9:41. I was in bed by 10:00.
185
00:06:40,449 --> 00:06:41,699
Then I looked at my
phone for another two hours,
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00:06:41,783 --> 00:06:43,201
so actually I didn't sleep very well.
187
00:06:43,285 --> 00:06:44,577
But I did realize something.
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00:06:44,661 --> 00:06:46,704
The only thing that
matters to Gina is work.
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00:06:46,788 --> 00:06:47,788
You don't say?
190
00:06:47,872 --> 00:06:48,872
Where have I heard that before?
191
00:06:48,956 --> 00:06:51,333
I don't know, Terry. I don't have
time for your weird memory lapse.
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00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:53,459
I said it last night.
Well, I wish you would've said it to me.
193
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,544
Anyways, I decided I'm
not gonna let it go this time.
194
00:06:55,628 --> 00:06:56,879
After we update her on the case,
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00:06:56,963 --> 00:06:58,381
I'm gonna say something to her. Good.
196
00:06:58,465 --> 00:06:59,882
I wish I'd have said
something to Ungerbert.
197
00:06:59,966 --> 00:07:01,508
Long snapper used to
be my favorite position.
198
00:07:01,592 --> 00:07:02,759
Really? Yeah.
199
00:07:02,843 --> 00:07:05,554
Hmm. Well, you a weirdo.
200
00:07:06,346 --> 00:07:12,267
"Timothée Chalamet,
shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay."
201
00:07:12,351 --> 00:07:13,394
Gina. Oh. Sorry.
202
00:07:13,478 --> 00:07:15,144
I'm doing my vocal warm-up. Great.
203
00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:16,646
Well, Cyber looked into the threats,
204
00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:18,481
and they traced a number
of negative comments
205
00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:20,941
back to another internet
celebrity, Marvin Lennox.
206
00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:22,901
Marvin Lennox.
Yeah, I'm not worried about him.
207
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:25,862
-He's an inspirational baker.
-JEFFORDS: Inspirational baker?
208
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,197
What the hell is that?
209
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,867
A man is like a quiche, and a
quiche is only as strong as its crust.
210
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,202
What's your crust?
211
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,203
Oh. That's exactly what it sounds like.
212
00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:37,330
Yeah, he's not a threat.
He lives in Utah, and again,
213
00:07:37,414 --> 00:07:39,416
just to remind you, inspirational baker.
214
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,333
Right.
Well, even so, we have metal detectors
215
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,210
at all of the entrances, and
we'll keep our eyes peeled
216
00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:46,255
for anything suspicious.
Also, before we head in there,
217
00:07:46,339 --> 00:07:47,630
I wanted to talk to you about something.
218
00:07:47,714 --> 00:07:49,382
What's up? Well, it just kind of
219
00:07:49,466 --> 00:07:51,718
bummed me out that
last night you blew us off.
220
00:07:51,802 --> 00:07:53,594
-For work. Again.
-GINA: What?
221
00:07:53,678 --> 00:07:55,887
Uh, no. I did not miss drinks for work.
222
00:07:55,971 --> 00:07:58,140
I had food poisoning.
Did Janelle not tell you?
223
00:07:58,224 --> 00:07:59,850
No. Wow, that's crazy.
224
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:01,934
'Cause I specifically
told her to tell you.
225
00:08:02,018 --> 00:08:03,978
You know what? I'm gonna fire her.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
226
00:08:04,062 --> 00:08:05,604
Janelle. Oh, God, you're doing it now?
227
00:08:05,688 --> 00:08:07,148
Hi, Gina. Okay.
228
00:08:07,232 --> 00:08:08,648
Well, Sarge and I should probably hit it,
229
00:08:08,732 --> 00:08:10,233
get back in there, survey some people.
230
00:08:10,317 --> 00:08:11,860
But have a great show.
Janelle, just remember
231
00:08:11,944 --> 00:08:13,194
you're gonna have a
lot of jobs in your life.
232
00:08:13,278 --> 00:08:16,155
This is but a blip on your résumé.
Okay, Sarge, let's go.
233
00:08:16,239 --> 00:08:17,698
-Wanted to see me, sir?
-HOLT: Yes,
234
00:08:17,782 --> 00:08:19,324
I wanted to talk to you about Nikolaj.
235
00:08:19,408 --> 00:08:21,325
How long have you known he was a genius?
236
00:08:21,409 --> 00:08:23,119
I mean, I always knew he was bright.
237
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,204
I just never realized he was that smart.
238
00:08:25,288 --> 00:08:27,914
Well, there's no sugarcoating it.
You're a terrible father.
239
00:08:27,998 --> 00:08:30,000
What?
You've been asleep at the wheel, man!
240
00:08:30,084 --> 00:08:32,627
What have you done to
cultivate his incredible mind?
241
00:08:32,711 --> 00:08:33,962
I read to him every night.
242
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:35,046
Shakespeare? Tolstoy?
243
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,422
No, nothing that advanced.
244
00:08:36,506 --> 00:08:38,424
Egads! Are you reading him Dickens?
245
00:08:38,508 --> 00:08:40,009
Yes? Boyle,
246
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:42,177
my father never saw my potential.
247
00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:44,345
In grade school, I wanted
to spend all my free time
248
00:08:44,429 --> 00:08:46,264
drawing graphs and charts,
249
00:08:46,348 --> 00:08:48,182
but he insisted I play basketball.
250
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,768
As if I care about slam
dunking a three-pointer.
251
00:08:50,852 --> 00:08:52,436
Don't be my father, Boyle!
252
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,021
I wouldn't dare!
What do you think I should do?
253
00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:56,731
Let me tutor Nikolaj.
254
00:08:56,815 --> 00:08:58,274
Nothing too strenuous.
255
00:08:58,358 --> 00:09:01,027
Maybe some geometry,
statistical mechanics,
256
00:09:01,111 --> 00:09:03,695
perhaps some Latin lyric
poetry thrown in for fun.
257
00:09:03,779 --> 00:09:05,363
Oh, I don't know. He's really booked.
258
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:07,365
I guess I could cancel
his cartooning class,
259
00:09:07,449 --> 00:09:09,325
but he really loves it. Don't do that.
260
00:09:09,409 --> 00:09:11,327
[SARCASTICALLY] I hate to
think of all the great cartoons
261
00:09:11,411 --> 00:09:16,081
humanity missed out on because Einstein
was just too busy reinventing physics.
262
00:09:16,165 --> 00:09:17,290
Okay, I'll cancel the class.
263
00:09:17,374 --> 00:09:18,958
I mean, who needs relativity
264
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:22,128
when we could've had Einstein's
take on lasagna-eating cats.
265
00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:24,379
I said I'd cancel. Did he hate Mondays?
266
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,839
We'll never know.
267
00:09:25,923 --> 00:09:27,273
Okay, I'm going, I'm going!
268
00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:33,346
DIAZ: [GRUNTS] Why won't
this dumb monitor turn on?
269
00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:35,180
Because you can't
work without your hands.
270
00:09:35,264 --> 00:09:37,182
Trust us. If you could do this job
271
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:39,184
without lifting a finger, we
would've already cracked it.
272
00:09:39,268 --> 00:09:40,519
Because we're lazy boys.
273
00:09:40,603 --> 00:09:42,770
DIAZ: I'm just not doing it hard enough.
[GRUNTS]
274
00:09:42,854 --> 00:09:44,272
[BOTH EXCLAIM]
275
00:09:44,439 --> 00:09:46,398
That's a double-sponger. All right.
276
00:09:46,482 --> 00:09:49,526
I am cleaning this up,
and no one is helping me.
277
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:50,693
HITCHCOCK: Not a problem.
278
00:09:50,777 --> 00:09:52,446
Because we're lazy boys.
279
00:09:58,951 --> 00:10:00,453
You gotta be kidding me!
280
00:10:00,578 --> 00:10:02,162
[CROWD CHATTERING]
281
00:10:02,787 --> 00:10:05,207
GINA: In the beginning,
there was nothing.
282
00:10:05,749 --> 00:10:09,292
And then God, a woman, said,
283
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,128
"Let there be Gina!"
284
00:10:11,212 --> 00:10:13,712
-[CROWD CHEERING]
-[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
285
00:10:15,924 --> 00:10:18,009
Gina! Please look at me!
286
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,219
[SCREAMING]
287
00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:21,387
You're welcome.
288
00:10:21,471 --> 00:10:22,929
[SCREAMING]
289
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,348
It's gonna be hard to spot
a crazy person in here.
290
00:10:25,432 --> 00:10:27,183
-They're all crazy.
-PERALTA: Tell me about it.
291
00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:28,351
This is more insane than the crowd
292
00:10:28,435 --> 00:10:30,644
at the Carly Rae Jepsen,
I mean Slayer concert.
293
00:10:30,728 --> 00:10:32,020
GINA: G-Hive!
294
00:10:32,104 --> 00:10:34,857
Are you ready for three
new Gina-mandments?
295
00:10:34,941 --> 00:10:36,983
-[ALL CHEERING]
-Number one.
296
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:39,819
You can be anything you set your mind to
297
00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,987
as long as you're already great at it!
298
00:10:42,071 --> 00:10:44,239
-[ALL CHEERING]
-Number two.
299
00:10:44,323 --> 00:10:46,700
No one knows you can't take it with you!
300
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:49,493
Be buried with your money.
301
00:10:49,577 --> 00:10:51,162
-Cha-ching!
-[ALL CHEERING]
302
00:10:51,246 --> 00:10:53,330
Number three.
303
00:10:53,414 --> 00:10:56,166
If you fall down nine times,
304
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:57,876
you gotta reassess your walking,
305
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,086
-'cause something's wrong.
-[ALL CHEERING]
306
00:11:00,170 --> 00:11:03,797
And now, I wanna hear
from you, my baby G-Hive!
307
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:05,841
Yes, girl in the mustard sweater.
308
00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:07,426
Hi, Gina. I just quit my job
309
00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:10,011
and left my husband who loves
parkour more than he loves me.
310
00:11:10,095 --> 00:11:12,096
And it's all because of
your Gina-mandment:
311
00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:14,974
"If the light in your house
is dim, change the bulb."
312
00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:16,808
-GINA: Yes!
-[ALL CHEERING]
313
00:11:16,892 --> 00:11:19,603
I have time for 15 more compliments.
314
00:11:19,687 --> 00:11:21,897
-Hey, Jake, I think Lennox is here.
-PERALTA: I see him.
315
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,772
You get him. I'll stick with Gina.
316
00:11:23,856 --> 00:11:24,941
Uh-oh. He's moving.
317
00:11:25,316 --> 00:11:26,525
WOMAN: I want to see you…
318
00:11:26,609 --> 00:11:28,209
-Coming through.
-[CROWD CHEERING]
319
00:11:28,319 --> 00:11:30,778
There's too many hoodies.
I lost him. Get Gina out of here, now!
320
00:11:30,862 --> 00:11:34,032
And now the time has
come for y'all to meditate.
321
00:11:34,116 --> 00:11:36,450
Close your eyes while I sing to you.
322
00:11:36,534 --> 00:11:39,369
♪ Breathe in, breathe out ♪
323
00:11:39,453 --> 00:11:41,997
♪ I invented meditation ♪
324
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,206
-♪ Bre… ♪
-[WHISPERING] Gina, we gotta go,
325
00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,333
Lennox is here.
Told you I'm not worried about Lennox.
326
00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:46,792
Yeah. Well, it's not your call.
We're leaving.
327
00:11:46,876 --> 00:11:48,726
-Jake, you're overreacting.
-[LOUD POP]
328
00:11:49,628 --> 00:11:51,328
-[PERALTA YELLS]
-[CROWD EXCLAIMING]
329
00:11:52,298 --> 00:11:54,798
On second thought, maybe
we should get out of here.
330
00:11:57,093 --> 00:11:58,510
Okay. Kitchen's all clear.
331
00:11:58,594 --> 00:11:59,637
-Bedroom's clear.
-[GINA SIGHS]
332
00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:01,138
Can't believe I just escaped death!
333
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:04,349
I haven't felt this alive since I
almost got killed by that bus.
334
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:05,683
I know, right? What a rush.
335
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,019
I feel just like Kevin
Costner in The Bodyguard!
336
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:11,313
What? If anyone's like Kevin Costner,
it's me. I'm the one carrying Gina!
337
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,899
Well, I think we can agree
we were both Kevin Costner.
338
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:14,983
No!
339
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,526
Jake, that was so dope when
you were like, "Clear a path!"
340
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:20,947
Guys, uniformed officers found
Marvin hiding in a bathroom
341
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,281
at the event space. He's in custody.
342
00:12:22,365 --> 00:12:23,448
We got him! That's great!
343
00:12:23,532 --> 00:12:25,450
I hope they give him the chair. Ooh!
344
00:12:25,534 --> 00:12:27,702
We should celebrate.
Champagne's in the fridge.
345
00:12:27,786 --> 00:12:29,246
-On it.
-[CELL PHONE RINGING]
346
00:12:29,538 --> 00:12:31,163
[CLEARS THROAT] Ooh.
347
00:12:31,247 --> 00:12:33,666
Duncan, I almost died. It was amazing.
348
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,125
DUNCAN [ON CELL PHONE]:
I heard all about it, Gines.
349
00:12:35,209 --> 00:12:38,086
Look, you're trending!
And from my pain comes triumph!
350
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:40,004
Love that. And we can use this publicity
351
00:12:40,088 --> 00:12:42,257
to get more money out of
those bottled water guys.
352
00:12:42,341 --> 00:12:43,924
You really impressed
them at drinks last night!
353
00:12:44,008 --> 00:12:46,343
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We should talk about this later.
354
00:12:46,427 --> 00:12:48,136
DUNCAN: Sorry, you're breaking up.
Look, I said
355
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,012
they loved you at the drinks last night,
356
00:12:50,096 --> 00:12:52,265
the drinks last night that you
had with the water people?
357
00:12:52,349 --> 00:12:54,392
Crap, look, I just hit
the Holland Tunnel,
358
00:12:54,476 --> 00:12:56,484
[VOLUME DECREASING GRADUALLY]
359
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,576
but again, great job with
the drinks last night! Bye.
360
00:12:59,104 --> 00:13:00,272
Jake, did you hear that?
361
00:13:00,356 --> 00:13:02,399
I did, and there's
been a change of plans.
362
00:13:02,483 --> 00:13:04,817
I'm gonna take a rain
check on the champagne,
363
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:06,652
but it was wonderful seeing you.
364
00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:08,112
Why are you talking
like a flight attendant?
365
00:13:08,196 --> 00:13:10,822
This is how I always talk
when everything is okay.
366
00:13:10,906 --> 00:13:12,198
Which it is right now.
367
00:13:12,282 --> 00:13:14,826
Please enjoy the rest of your day.
368
00:13:15,952 --> 00:13:17,035
How did Nikolaj do?
369
00:13:17,119 --> 00:13:19,162
Were you able to overcome
my horrible parenting?
370
00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:21,415
No, it's far worse than I
could've ever imagined.
371
00:13:21,499 --> 00:13:23,708
I showed him a periodic
table, and he thought
372
00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:25,084
it was a coloring book illustration.
373
00:13:25,168 --> 00:13:26,168
I blame myself.
374
00:13:26,252 --> 00:13:28,879
It's such a classic Boyle
trait not to recognize talent.
375
00:13:28,963 --> 00:13:31,881
My cousin Susan didn't know
she could sing until her late 40s.
376
00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:33,758
Honestly, given the hole
that you've put him in,
377
00:13:33,842 --> 00:13:36,052
he needs more expert
help than I can provide.
378
00:13:36,136 --> 00:13:37,803
But, there is
379
00:13:37,887 --> 00:13:39,555
a boarding school in Switzerland
380
00:13:39,639 --> 00:13:40,848
that would be a perfect fit for him.
381
00:13:40,932 --> 00:13:42,308
He can enroll immediately.
382
00:13:42,392 --> 00:13:43,933
In Switzerland? I'd never see him.
383
00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:45,935
Then uproot your life
and move there with him.
384
00:13:46,019 --> 00:13:47,353
No one here would miss you. Hmm.
385
00:13:47,437 --> 00:13:50,355
We could live in Gruyere, the
fondue capital of the world. Oh.
386
00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:51,898
I don't know. It's such a big change.
387
00:13:51,982 --> 00:13:52,983
Well, he's the genius.
388
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:55,667
Why don't we ask him what he wants to do?
Good point.
389
00:13:56,028 --> 00:13:57,612
Niko? We need to talk.
390
00:13:58,196 --> 00:14:01,657
Wait. Why is he writing the
solution to my formula for no reason?
391
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:04,326
And why is he drawing
colorful underpants beneath it?
392
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:07,537
Oh. I see what's happening.
He's drawing Boy Riga,
393
00:14:07,621 --> 00:14:10,123
loyal sidekick to his favorite
superhero, Captain Latvia.
394
00:14:10,207 --> 00:14:12,624
That's his symbol.
He distributes grain evenly
395
00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:13,918
among the working class.
396
00:14:14,544 --> 00:14:16,295
Uh-huh. I see.
397
00:14:16,379 --> 00:14:19,005
So this was all just some coincidence.
398
00:14:19,089 --> 00:14:21,341
He wasn't writing the
absolute value of psi.
399
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:22,759
He was just…
400
00:14:23,468 --> 00:14:24,718
Doodling.
401
00:14:28,514 --> 00:14:29,890
[GRUNTING, YELLING]
402
00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:34,352
[GROANING]
403
00:14:36,229 --> 00:14:38,355
Rosa? Are you stuck in there?
404
00:14:38,439 --> 00:14:40,398
-No, I'm in here by choice.
-SANTIAGO: Oh.
405
00:14:40,482 --> 00:14:42,609
'Cause I hear some banging noises
406
00:14:42,693 --> 00:14:45,402
as if someone was
struggling to open the door.
407
00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:46,653
No. That was the pipes.
408
00:14:46,737 --> 00:14:50,240
Or, is it the sound of you
learning how to ask for help?
409
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:54,035
You know, you can't spell
"independent" without "dependant."
410
00:14:54,119 --> 00:14:56,788
And you can't spell "Go [BLEEP]
yourself" without "[BLEEP] you."
411
00:14:56,872 --> 00:14:58,205
[BANGING ON DOOR]
412
00:14:58,414 --> 00:14:59,790
Jake, I had a work thing.
413
00:14:59,874 --> 00:15:01,625
I can't believe you're being
such a baby about this.
414
00:15:01,709 --> 00:15:03,293
I'm not being a baby.
415
00:15:03,377 --> 00:15:06,170
Look, I'm sorry I lied, okay?
It was a big opportunity for me.
416
00:15:06,254 --> 00:15:07,963
I was having drinks
with the brand director
417
00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:09,799
of a bottled water company.
418
00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:11,299
[SCOFFS] I can't say which one,
419
00:15:11,383 --> 00:15:13,426
but it rhymes with, "fart water."
420
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:15,512
Perhaps, one day, I will laugh at that.
421
00:15:15,596 --> 00:15:18,222
In the meantime, I'm
happy for all your success.
422
00:15:18,306 --> 00:15:19,306
And I hope your partnership
423
00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:21,141
with "fart water" is very fruitful.
424
00:15:21,225 --> 00:15:23,143
Good day. Come on, dude. Just talk to me.
425
00:15:23,227 --> 00:15:25,186
I would if we were friends,
but you're making it very clear
426
00:15:25,270 --> 00:15:26,813
that we are not, so I shan't.
427
00:15:26,897 --> 00:15:29,148
Oh, you're shanting me?
Yeah, that's right.
428
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,066
Jake! Can't hear you. You're shanted!
429
00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,443
Jake!
I told you I only talk to my friends.
430
00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:34,528
No, Jake.
431
00:15:34,612 --> 00:15:37,322
-I think I just got stabbed by that guy.
-PERALTA: Oh.
432
00:15:37,406 --> 00:15:38,906
Yeah, you did.
433
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:40,700
You definitely did.
434
00:15:42,702 --> 00:15:44,452
Okay. The ambulance is on its way.
435
00:15:44,536 --> 00:15:45,745
They said not to remove the knife.
436
00:15:45,829 --> 00:15:47,664
Great. What's up?
I got your text… [GASPS]
437
00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:50,041
Oh, my God, Gina, there's a knife in you!
438
00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:51,625
Jake, did you stab Gina?
439
00:15:51,709 --> 00:15:54,294
I didn't stab Gina, okay?
Lennox wasn't our guy.
440
00:15:54,378 --> 00:15:56,380
The real perp did it.
He's in a black hoodie and jeans.
441
00:15:56,464 --> 00:15:57,631
He ran that way. I'm on it.
442
00:15:57,715 --> 00:15:58,881
All right, I want you to stay calm
443
00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:01,092
and just try to keep all of
your blood inside your body.
444
00:16:01,176 --> 00:16:02,885
Bitch, what do you think I'm doing?
445
00:16:02,969 --> 00:16:04,095
Yeah, I don't know why I said that.
446
00:16:04,179 --> 00:16:06,847
Now bring your ass down here
so we can finish our conversation.
447
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:09,182
We can do that later, Gina. First of all,
448
00:16:09,266 --> 00:16:11,434
I have so much adrenaline
pumping through my body right now,
449
00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:12,560
I can feel almost nothing.
450
00:16:12,644 --> 00:16:14,145
Secondly, you can't say no to me.
451
00:16:14,229 --> 00:16:15,771
I have a knife in my back.
Yeah, that tracks.
452
00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:17,690
Okay, fine. So, I was saying that
453
00:16:17,774 --> 00:16:20,567
ever since you left, you've
been kind of a crappy friend.
454
00:16:20,651 --> 00:16:22,735
[GROANING]
455
00:16:22,819 --> 00:16:24,862
We're definitely not having
this conversation right now.
456
00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:26,864
No, it's okay. It just hurt for a sec.
457
00:16:26,948 --> 00:16:28,991
Come on, let's do it. [GROANS]
458
00:16:29,116 --> 00:16:30,742
All right, fine, what was I saying?
459
00:16:30,826 --> 00:16:33,077
You were saying that I'm a… [GROANS]
460
00:16:33,161 --> 00:16:35,163
Bad friend. [EXHALES]
461
00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:36,247
Right. Mmm-hmm.
462
00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:38,290
You're a bad friend.
That's what I was saying to you.
463
00:16:38,374 --> 00:16:40,584
Yeah. And just that, you know,
464
00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:42,461
you've been really blowing
me off the last few months,
465
00:16:42,545 --> 00:16:44,713
and last night you lied
to me about being sick.
466
00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:46,422
That really sucked.
All right, well, listen.
467
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,048
I'm sorry I lied, Jake.
468
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,968
I saw you were getting upset
and I just didn't want to hurt you.
469
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,760
But I don't know what to
say about the other stuff
470
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:56,222
because this is my life and I
don't want to apologize for that.
471
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,057
No, and, Gina, you shouldn't have to.
472
00:16:58,141 --> 00:16:59,558
Look, I'm really proud of you.
473
00:16:59,642 --> 00:17:00,726
You're totally killing it.
474
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,186
Yeah, people want to stab me.
475
00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:04,396
I mean, that's a very positive
way of looking at things, but yeah.
476
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,606
Thank you. [LAUGHING]
477
00:17:06,690 --> 00:17:08,274
[HIGH-PITCHED GROANING]
478
00:17:08,358 --> 00:17:09,942
I hit a new level of pain.
479
00:17:10,026 --> 00:17:12,360
Please keep talkin', Please keep talkin'!
480
00:17:12,444 --> 00:17:14,821
[EXHALES] Okay, look.
I just wanted you to know that I miss you.
481
00:17:14,905 --> 00:17:16,406
Well, I miss you too, dude.
482
00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:19,325
Great, so can we agree to
see each other like 5% more?
483
00:17:19,409 --> 00:17:20,409
Deal.
484
00:17:20,493 --> 00:17:22,203
[GROANING]
485
00:17:22,328 --> 00:17:23,871
We're not going to shake on it.
486
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:25,288
Yeah, we'll just take
each other at our word.
487
00:17:25,372 --> 00:17:26,665
Whoo!
488
00:17:26,790 --> 00:17:27,999
That's a knife!
489
00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:31,127
That is a knife in my back.
That's so weird to say.
490
00:17:31,211 --> 00:17:33,671
There's a knife in my back.
491
00:17:34,463 --> 00:17:35,797
Boyle, may I speak with you for a minute?
492
00:17:35,881 --> 00:17:38,425
Sure, I was just googling
"good toys for normal children."
493
00:17:38,509 --> 00:17:39,967
Nikolaj may not be a genius,
494
00:17:40,051 --> 00:17:41,260
but he's a very bright child.
495
00:17:41,344 --> 00:17:42,970
And on top of that, you were right.
496
00:17:43,054 --> 00:17:44,889
He's also a very gifted artist.
497
00:17:44,973 --> 00:17:46,473
Look what he did to my periodic table.
498
00:17:46,557 --> 00:17:49,476
Sure, it's a bit derivative of Kandinsky,
499
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:52,186
but the palette shows an impressive
comprehension of color theory.
500
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:53,720
And he's good at clouds, too.
501
00:17:54,147 --> 00:17:55,147
Okay.
502
00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:58,067
I also wanted to say I was wrong to imply
503
00:17:58,151 --> 00:18:00,401
that you didn't know
what was best for him. Oh.
504
00:18:00,485 --> 00:18:02,904
You're an exceptionally
supportive parent,
505
00:18:02,988 --> 00:18:05,138
and I wish my father
had been more like you.
506
00:18:06,741 --> 00:18:08,408
Thank you for saying that.
507
00:18:08,492 --> 00:18:09,576
And, sir,
508
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:12,662
nothing would make me
prouder than being your big daddy.
509
00:18:14,497 --> 00:18:17,583
Well, we're off track
now, so, uh, good day.
510
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:18,835
JEFFORDS: Hey, guys.
511
00:18:19,501 --> 00:18:20,835
-How you feeling, Gina?
-GINA: Uh…
512
00:18:20,919 --> 00:18:23,255
Sometimes I feel like a
nut, sometimes I don't.
513
00:18:23,339 --> 00:18:25,340
Almond Joy's got nuts.
514
00:18:25,424 --> 00:18:26,966
Mounds don't.
515
00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:28,384
She's very hopped up on painkillers.
516
00:18:28,468 --> 00:18:31,637
Hold up, when did you learn
French, Monsieur La baguette?
517
00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:33,096
[FRENCH ACCENT] As a baby.
518
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,932
[FRENCH ACCENT] Oh, oui!
Oui, oui, oui, oui.
519
00:18:36,016 --> 00:18:38,351
[NORMAL ACCENT] It actually
helps to play along, I'm assuming.
520
00:18:38,435 --> 00:18:39,851
So what's the latest?
Did you catch the perp?
521
00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:41,562
No. I almost had him.
522
00:18:41,646 --> 00:18:43,397
But then he jumped
up, grabbed a flagpole,
523
00:18:43,481 --> 00:18:44,898
spun around it like Spider-Man,
524
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:46,524
and then flipped out of sight on a roof.
525
00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:48,901
It was crazy.
Officers are still patrolling the area.
526
00:18:48,985 --> 00:18:50,736
-Oh, my God, that's it.
-GINA: That is it!
527
00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:53,238
The treasure is in the
Forest of Enchanted Secrets!
528
00:18:53,322 --> 00:18:55,073
Let's go! No, we can't.
529
00:18:55,157 --> 00:18:57,576
We have to stay here and
guard the Amulet of Destiny.
530
00:18:57,660 --> 00:18:59,285
True dat, true dat.
531
00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:00,578
Sarge, call me crazy,
532
00:19:00,662 --> 00:19:03,205
but it almost sounds like whoever
stabbed Gina knew parkour
533
00:19:03,289 --> 00:19:04,832
just like the ex-husband
534
00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:06,833
of that lady from Gina's event. Right!
535
00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:09,460
Gina convinced her to leave him
and he probably wants revenge.
536
00:19:09,544 --> 00:19:11,170
I'll look into it. Okay.
537
00:19:11,254 --> 00:19:13,714
Jake, I cannot wait for this doctor.
538
00:19:13,798 --> 00:19:15,882
Will you please grab
this knife out of my back?
539
00:19:15,966 --> 00:19:17,551
Get it! Gina, it's already out.
540
00:19:17,635 --> 00:19:18,803
What?
541
00:19:22,889 --> 00:19:24,432
[DIAL TONE]
542
00:19:24,808 --> 00:19:26,017
[KEYPAD BEEPING]
543
00:19:26,142 --> 00:19:27,559
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
544
00:19:28,852 --> 00:19:29,853
-Hello?
-DIAZ [ON CELL PHONE]: You win.
545
00:19:29,937 --> 00:19:31,354
-Please help me.
-No.
546
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,147
What, why? I learned my lesson.
You were right.
547
00:19:33,231 --> 00:19:34,398
No, you were right.
548
00:19:34,482 --> 00:19:35,858
For the past four hours,
549
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,736
I've been watching you
on the security camera.
550
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:40,236
DIAZ: You have? That's weird.
551
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,904
This isn't about me. Still seems weird.
552
00:19:41,988 --> 00:19:46,284
Rosa! Watching you try to
open that door and fail again
553
00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:50,245
and again and again
and again was inspiring!
554
00:19:50,329 --> 00:19:54,582
I was trying to teach you a lesson,
and instead, you taught me a lesson.
555
00:19:54,666 --> 00:19:56,000
Great. What lesson is that?
556
00:19:56,084 --> 00:19:59,211
There is nothing the human
spirit cannot overcome.
557
00:19:59,295 --> 00:20:02,297
So, Rosa Diaz, you are not quitting.
558
00:20:02,381 --> 00:20:03,840
You are gonna open that door
559
00:20:03,924 --> 00:20:07,468
because you are badass and
you don't need help from anyone!
560
00:20:07,552 --> 00:20:10,054
Yeah. I'm Rosa Diaz.
561
00:20:10,138 --> 00:20:11,139
[EXHALES]
562
00:20:12,598 --> 00:20:14,057
You can do this, Rosa!
563
00:20:17,394 --> 00:20:18,895
[YELLING IN SLOW MOTION]
564
00:20:19,396 --> 00:20:20,688
She's doing it!
565
00:20:20,813 --> 00:20:21,856
[YELLING CONTINUES]
566
00:20:25,985 --> 00:20:27,402
[SLOW MOTION] Yes!
567
00:20:29,404 --> 00:20:30,739
[SANTIAGO LAUGHING]
568
00:20:31,156 --> 00:20:32,490
[BOTH YELLING]
569
00:20:33,283 --> 00:20:34,908
You did it! I did it!
570
00:20:34,992 --> 00:20:37,369
Oh, that was great!
I love being independent!
571
00:20:37,995 --> 00:20:40,996
I have to go to the bathroom.
Oh, okay, I'll help you.
572
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,998
And then you were like,
"We can use the Amulet
573
00:20:43,082 --> 00:20:44,541
"to fight the Queen of Tears!"
574
00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:47,001
I said all of that when I was on drugs?
That's brilliant.
575
00:20:47,085 --> 00:20:49,462
Yeah, we basically came up
with an entire amazing story.
576
00:20:49,546 --> 00:20:50,755
We should write a movie! Yes!
577
00:20:50,839 --> 00:20:52,590
Jake and Gina present, colon,
578
00:20:52,674 --> 00:20:54,091
The Queen of Tears, colon,
579
00:20:54,175 --> 00:20:55,509
Battle for the Amulet of Destiny.
580
00:20:55,593 --> 00:20:57,844
Colon, Part One, colon, of Five.
581
00:20:57,928 --> 00:20:59,763
Oh. Get those sequel profits, smart.
582
00:20:59,847 --> 00:21:01,514
Yarp. Oh. Here comes Terry.
583
00:21:01,598 --> 00:21:02,640
Hey, sorry I'm late.
584
00:21:02,724 --> 00:21:03,724
GINA: Oh, you should be, Terrence.
585
00:21:03,808 --> 00:21:05,893
You almost missed the
surprise we got for you.
586
00:21:05,977 --> 00:21:09,062
What is it?
I think you mean, "Who is it?"
587
00:21:09,146 --> 00:21:10,846
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
588
00:21:11,106 --> 00:21:12,732
Bryant Ungerbert?
589
00:21:12,816 --> 00:21:13,857
BRYANT: Hello, Terry Jeffords.
590
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:16,360
It's been far too long, old friend.
591
00:21:16,778 --> 00:21:18,070
[JEFFORDS CHUCKLING]
592
00:21:18,321 --> 00:21:19,905
Ah, we did the right thing.
593
00:21:19,989 --> 00:21:21,823
Yes we did, Gina. Who's Gina?
594
00:21:21,907 --> 00:21:23,032
Are you still on drugs?
595
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,368
Yeah. Oh, tight.
46615
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