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This programme contains adult humour
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♪ You never have to feel that the
night is yours alone
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♪ Rushing through the stars Captivated
by the worlds beyond
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00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,839
♪ You aren't alone
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♪ It's a small world and you've grown.
♪
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♪ Oops up side your head
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♪ I said "Oops up side your head"
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♪ Oops up side your head
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♪ I said "Oops up side your head"
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♪ Oops up side your head
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♪ I said "Oops up side your head"
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♪ Oops up side your head
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♪ I said "Oops up side your head"... ♪
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HE LAUGHS
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- Come on.
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Oh, you're looking good.
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Let me see those hands.
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Hey! You can cut that out, pal!
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The Gap Band in the house tonight,
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oopsing and upping inside your head
for Melanie's 21st.
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Let's hear it for that special lady.
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- ALL: Hooray.
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- I can't hear you.
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- ALL: Hooray.
25
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- All right, Ken? Are you having a go,
pal?
26
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- No, I'm going for a piss.
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- Ken Dixon there, ladies and
gentleman,
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going to shake hands with the
unemployed.
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- TOOT TOOT
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♪ Oops up side your head
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♪ I said "Oops up side your head"
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♪ Oops up side your head... ♪
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- You all right, Tommy?
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- Yeah.
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What time's the buffet opening?
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00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:07,119
- Bloody hell, Tommy, is that all you
ever think about?
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00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,519
We'll give you a shout, don't worry.
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- Good.
39
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- Are you gonna come out when she cuts
the cake or do you want me to see if
she'll fetch it in here?
40
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- Piss off!
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THE BIRDIE SONG
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♪ La, la, la, la, laa, laa, la-la-la
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♪ La, la, la, laa, la-la, la, la
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♪ La, la, la, la-la, la-la-la
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♪ La, la, la, la, la,
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♪ La, la-la, la... ♪
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- The Birdie Song in the house
tonight.
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Come on!
49
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Don't forget ladies and gents, if you
want a request, I'll do my best.
50
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:02,320
And there's always the karaoke if
you're feeling brave.
51
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,039
Now, I've gotta a little request here
-
52
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,599
can I please play something for Tanya
behind the bar.
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- ALL: Whey!
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- You may or may not know this,
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- ALL: Oh!
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- Apparently, when she handed her
notice in, this is what she said...
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- ♪ Please release me
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TOOT TOOT
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- And Ken said...
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- ♪ Please don't go
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♪ Don't go
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♪ Don't go away
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♪ Please don't go... ♪
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- And she said...
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- ♪ But the money's no good
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♪ Just get a grip on yourself... ♪
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- And he said...
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- Just get on with it!
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00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:07,399
- Hey! I was up till four o'clock this
morning sorting this out for tossers
like you!
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Now does anyone want to know what he
said next,
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00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,399
or have I just wasted my time up here?
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- Er... I do, Joe.
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- Right, where was I then? What had he
said?
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00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,359
- Er...
- "Please Release Me.
75
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,399
- No, no. She's handed her notice in,
she said, "Please Release Me".
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- That's right, she said "Please
Release Me". What did he say next?
77
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- "Please Don't Go".
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- And she said, "But The Money's No
Good".
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- That's it, The Stranglers.
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Anyway this is what he said next.
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- ♪ Money's too tight to mention
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♪ Oh, money, money... ♪
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- Are you having that?
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He ruined that him -
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four-eyed git.
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- ♪ For my pension... ♪
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♪ I get knocked down, but I get up
again... ♪
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Room for a slim fella there?
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- Yeah, get in here, pal.
- Oh, thanks love
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00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,519
Keith Braithwaite, Melanie's Dad.
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00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:11,519
- Oooh hello, I'm Debbie.
- Have you got a drink, love?
- I'm just waiting.
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- I'll get you one, what you having?
- Oooh, a G and T please, Keith.
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- I bet you say that to all the girls.
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- Hey! Tick tock!
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Hey love, when you're ready.
- Yeah, I'll be with you in a minute.
96
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- Take your time. Keith's going
nowhere tonight.
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Unless your mate's got any ideas. Hey,
Debs? Tick tock!
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00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,479
- So you're Melanie's dad, are you?
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- That's me, Keith Braithwaite, and
very proud of her I am too.
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00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,959
Have you got any kids, Deb?
- No, no not me.
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Yes, Keith?
- I'll get it Ken.
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- No, you get these glasses washed.
Can't you see we're running short?
103
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- Sorry!
- A pint of bitter, a large G and T
and whatever you're having.
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00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,799
- I'm all right thanks, Keith.
- Watching your figure, are you?
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Hey Debs? Tick tock!
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00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,479
- Anything else, Keith?
107
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,599
- Just hang on a minute, Ken. Just
hang on. Mel! Melanie!
- Yeah.
108
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,959
- Are you having a drink, darling?
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Dean, are you having one?
- Yeah, I'll have another one, please.
110
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:14,279
- Another pint for Dean. What you
having, Mel?
- I'm all right, thanks.
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00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,719
- All right? All right? You're having
one!
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If I can't buy my own daughter a drink
on her 21st birthday, that is a poor
do. Hey, come on.
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Have a Bacardi and Coke. Go on.
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- I think she's pacing herself a
little bit, Keith.
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- What on her 21st?
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What a load of crap!
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Bacardi and Coke please and make it a
large one. Thank you, Ken.
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- I'm ready for another, Keith.
119
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:41,160
- Bloody hell, Debbie!
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00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,119
- Are you enjoying it, love?
- Oh, yeah, great. Are you?
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- Yeah, I'm having a whale of a time.
You all right, Dean?
- Yeah, great.
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- You need any more Bob Hope?
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- Oh, no. Not that last stuff you sold
mate, it blew my head off. A bit
strong wasn't it?
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- You're telling me. Have you seen
Phil? He's been on it all day.
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- HE LAUGHS
126
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,440
HE BLOWS WHISTLE
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00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,559
- Are you all right, Dad?
128
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:20,799
"Where's that gone?"
- I know.
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00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,279
- We've had some good laughs, me and
you, haven't we kid?
- Yeah.
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00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,559
I'll miss you like mad when I move
out, you know that, don't you?
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00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,119
- Course I do.
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- Dad, why don't you ask Tanya if
she'll stay? I bet she would if YOU
asked her, you know.
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- No chance. She let me down when she
handed her notice in.
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00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,999
She knows I'll miss her behind that
bar.
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00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,559
- You're not gonna miss her behind the
bar, you'll just miss her.
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00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,999
That's why you're upset.
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00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,719
- Mel, Hayley and Jack are here.
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- Just coming.
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Why don't you tell her that, Dad?
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00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,519
- Poor Ken.
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00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,599
- When he came up last week and told
me she'd handed her notice in,
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00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:05,639
I could tell by his face, it were
tearing him apart inside.
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00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,359
- Knocked him for six, hasn't it?
- It has.
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00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:15,279
I tried to be strong, Winnie, but as
soon as he went back down, I just
cried and cried.
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00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,079
- Oh, dear.
146
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:23,079
- When will I ever get the chance of a
nice conservatory again?
147
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,639
- Joe, Joe, the buffet's open.
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00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,279
- Hey, have you seen it in here
tonight, hey Ken?
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00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,959
Brilliant! I bet you'll miss all this
when you go.
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00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,159
- I won't tell a lie, I will.
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00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,999
- OK ladies and gentlemen,
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it's time to take your life into your
hands as Ken's buffet is open.
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- ALL: Hooray!
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00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,319
I told you to give me a five-minute
warning.
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00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,559
- It's not a nuclear attack, Tommy.
It's a bloody buffet.
156
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:52,639
- Oh, bloody hell!
- OK, ladies and gentlemen,
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00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:57,239
feel free to have a go on the karaoke
while I'm away,
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00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:01,679
but for now, I'll leave you with a
little bit of Chris Rea.
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00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:07,319
We're on the road to hell at Melanie's
21st.
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00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,359
- START OF MUSIC
161
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,599
Tosser!
- Knobhead!
- He's shit!
162
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,679
- Hey Joe, Joe!
163
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:18,719
- What?
- We'll have a go on the karaoke.
- Oh, right, right, right.
164
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,239
OK, what do you want?
165
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,960
- This one.
- No problem, lads. Give me two
seconds. Grab a microphone.
166
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:32,160
- Are there any more sausage rolls,
Jean?
- No.
- Oh, bloody hell!
167
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,039
- Ladies and gentlemen,
168
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,160
Phil and Nige.
169
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,239
- ♪ Ebony and ivory
170
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:54,479
♪ Live together in perfect harmony
171
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:59,519
♪ Side by side on my piano keyboard
172
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,999
♪ Oh Lord, why can't we? ♪
173
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:07,919
- Yeah, yeah, Pickles it was, yeah
1966.
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00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,959
- Right.
- We had it as a quiz question in here
a few weeks ago.
175
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,399
Me and Joan knew it.
- Right.
176
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,759
- That's my wife Joan there.
177
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:22,439
For er... excrement, Chris.
178
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,600
- Oh, right.
179
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:29,159
♪ We learn to live
180
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:34,039
♪ We learn to give each other what we
need to survive
181
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:37,839
♪ Together alive... ♪
182
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,919
What've you drawn a face on it for?
183
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:43,759
- No, that's not her arse, that's a
space-hopper.
- Oh, right.
184
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:47,119
- Fancy her being the receptionist at
your place, eh John?
- Aye.
185
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,919
- It's a small world.
- It is to her.
186
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,439
- All right, Duff? Lads?
- All right, Joe?
187
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,639
How's your love life? Still the
fastest gun in the west?
188
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,519
- Keep your bloody voice down, you
pillock!
189
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:02,119
- Have you done what I said?
- What?
- Counting back from a hundred to take
your mind off it?
190
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,359
- I've not had chance yet, she won't
let me near her.
191
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,959
What was the other one you said?
- Think of the England players who won
the World cup in '66.
192
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,719
- I think that's what she does.
- There you go, Joe. Have a drink on
me, pal.
193
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,519
You're doing a top job tonight.
194
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,039
Hey, tick tock.
195
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,960
- Cheers, Keith.
196
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:23,919
- From the top end of Piper St, past
McVities, up to the bank on Bird Hall
Lane.
197
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,599
It's been going on for nearly two
years now, it has.
198
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,679
- Has it?
- I don't suppose it's caused you any
problems, you know,
199
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,480
living in London and that?
200
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,920
- No.
201
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,719
- Chris.
202
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,680
- ♪ Ebony and ivory
203
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:50,200
♪ Live together in perfect harmony
204
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:55,479
♪ Side by side on my piano keyboard
205
00:11:55,480 --> 00:12:00,000
♪ Oh Lord, why can't we?
206
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,839
♪ Side by side on my piano keyboard
207
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,919
♪ Oh Lord, why can't we?
208
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,959
- And the rest of the jury agreed with
me 100%,
209
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,199
the cakes were better on Monday than
they were on Wednesday.
210
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,199
- Right.
211
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,680
Are you not having a pee?
- No, no I had one earlier.
212
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,239
The thing is when you've been on jury
service for any length of time,
213
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:33,359
a lemon bun or a vanilla slice can
make a difference to the verdict.
214
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:37,239
A bloke there reckoned that if you do
jury service in America,
215
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:41,159
you can have whatever cakes you want.
- That's America for you.
216
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,680
- I reckon that must be why O J
Simpson got off.
217
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,359
- Nice buffet, isn't it, Tommy?
218
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,879
- Yeah.
219
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,920
- HE BREAKS WIND
220
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,759
Over here when you're ready, love.
221
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,279
- Yes, Keith?
- A pint of bitter, a large G and T
for Debbie,
222
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,639
a Bacardi and Coke for our Melanie,
223
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:09,319
a pint of bitter for Dean. Are you
having a drink yet, Ken?
224
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,919
- I'm all right, Keith.
225
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:15,359
- Fair enough. Can I tempt you with a
drink, sweetheart?
226
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,879
- Yeah, that'd be nice.
227
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,199
- How about next Friday then? I'll
pick you up at half past eight.
228
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,759
- Cheeky.
- Hey, tick tock.
229
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:25,199
- Get some glasses collected when
you've done that.
230
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,799
- I'll miss your way with words, Ken.
231
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,879
- Running a tight ship here, aren't
you Ken?
- Not for much longer, Keith.
232
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,320
Some of the rats have already started
deserting it.
233
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,199
- Uppers, downers, poppers, a bit of
skunk.
234
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,079
You name it, we can get it for you.
235
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,039
- Here you are, pal.
236
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,880
- Cheers, Nige.
237
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,319
- Top night, innit?
- Yeah, it is.
238
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,759
Have you got your eye on Joe?
239
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,759
- I have.
240
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,639
I'm planning on getting my hands on
him and all if I get half the chance.
241
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,559
- I might be on for Keith Braithwaite
later.
242
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:15,159
- Are you?
- Yep.
- Oooh. I thought you said he was a
bit of a shithouse?
243
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,119
- That were four gins ago, he looks a
bit of all right now.
244
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:22,160
- Bloody hell! He's gone from cesspit
to Brad Pitt.
245
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,920
Hiya.
- Hiya.
- There's someone in there.
246
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,159
- What's up? Are you all right?
247
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:39,159
- What is it, love?
- Nothing, nothing, it's just me.
248
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,919
- What, what is it?
- It's because it's my last night.
It's all got to me.
249
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:47,439
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
- Hey, don't be sorry.
250
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:52,359
- We understand.
- I don't want to leave, you know
that, but it's him.
251
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:57,879
I've wasted all that time thinking
there might be something and he
couldn't give a toss.
252
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:03,679
- You know it's not true.
- He thinks more about his ex-wife who
shit on him than he does about me.
253
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:09,359
- It doesn't matter, does it?
254
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,399
Sod him!
255
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:17,680
- All right, Joan?
- Yeah, I've just been making a bit of
room for the buffet.
256
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,919
- Calm down. You've done too much.
Nobody's staring at you.
- They are.
257
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,959
- Who?
- They all are.
- Don't be daft.
258
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,239
- And them little one's hiding behind
the curtains.
259
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,200
- Oh, bloody hell!
260
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:41,479
♪ For she's a jolly good fellow For
she's a jolly good fellow
261
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,199
♪ For she's a jolly good fellow
262
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,959
♪ And so say all of us
263
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,999
♪ And so say all of us... ♪
264
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,119
Everything ready, Joe?
- Aye...
- OK, give us the mike.
265
00:15:54,120 --> 00:16:01,239
OK, if I can have your attention
please, I'd like to say a few words
while I'm still sober! Ticktock!
266
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,679
It's been a smashing do so far, hasn't
it?
267
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:11,599
I'm sure you'd like to join me in
thanking Ken, Melanie's stepfather,
for making all this possible.
268
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,680
CHEERING
269
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:21,119
Just on a personal note for a moment,
270
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:27,119
I know there's a lot of you here that
already know that over the past few
years
271
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:31,239
this young lady has searched high and
low
272
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,439
to find me...
273
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,600
her real dad...
274
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:41,239
..and I can honestly say, oh,
boy... boy, oh, boy,
275
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,160
I'm so happy that she found me.
276
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,999
OK, Joe.
277
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,520
KARAOKE MUSIC BEGINS
278
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,560
♪ You are the sunshine of my life
279
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,759
♪ That's why I'll always be ar-r-round
280
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,320
♪ Oh, yes
281
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,840
♪ You are the apple of my eye
282
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,440
♪ Forever you'll stay in my heart
283
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:26,800
♪ You must have know that I was
lonely... ♪
- He's got a bloody nerve, hasn't he?
284
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:32,239
- ♪ Because you came to my rescue
285
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,079
♪ Doo-bee, doo-bee, dah-dah... ♪
286
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:39,759
There you go, Joe, you deserve that.
- Cheers, love.
287
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,759
- It's been a great night, hasn't it?
288
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:46,800
- The party's only just begun, Nicola.
- Oh-h!
289
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,040
I hope so.
290
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:56,359
You've got 'em in the palm of your
hand, haven't you?
291
00:17:56,360 --> 00:18:00,280
- Have I?
- Yeah, you have.
292
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,640
What's going through your mind now,
Joe?
293
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,320
- Nobby Stiles and Bobby Charlton.
294
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:15,999
- And I said, "Have you thought about
Eccles cakes?"
295
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,599
Oh, here's my wife now, Christopher. I
want you to meet someone special.
296
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:26,879
This is Christopher, Joan.
- Oh, that's funny, my first name's
Joan, Christopher.
297
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:31,959
- No, no, this is Christopher, Joan,
not Christopher Joan.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
298
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,479
I'm always doing that, aren't I,
Eddie?
- Yeah.
- That's all right.
299
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,679
- Christopher's diabetic, Joan.
- Are you?
- Yeah.
300
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:45,519
- And do you have to take that stuff?
- Insulin, yeah, every day.
- Really?
301
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,559
- Great, isn't it?
302
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:52,959
- The doctor told me when I was 15,
"You've got two choices, either take
that every day or die".
303
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,560
- And what did you decide?
304
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:03,639
- Thank you. Hey, ticktock! Thanks
very much. Showtime!
305
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:08,319
Joe, who's next?
- It's Jean. Give me that mike.
- OK, ladies and gentlemen,
306
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:13,720
let's hear it for Melanie's grandma,
Jean Dixon.
307
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:20,479
Wild horses must have dragged her from
the buffet, eh? Ticktock!
- Give me that mike!
308
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,560
Come on up, Jean!
309
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:33,879
- This song's for Kenny, who isn't
here for just one day of Melanie's
life,
310
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,760
he's there for her every day.
311
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,559
♪ I sit and wait
312
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,839
♪ Does an angel
313
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,560
♪ Contemplate my fate?
314
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:57,079
♪ And do they know the places where we
go
315
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,200
♪ When we're grey and old?
316
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:07,119
♪ Coz I have been told
317
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,159
♪ That salvation
318
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,040
♪ Lets their wings unfold
319
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,719
♪ So when I'm lying in my bed
320
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,199
♪ Thoughts running through my head
321
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,799
♪ And I feel that love is dead
322
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:31,439
♪ I'm loving angels instead
323
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,679
♪ And through it all
324
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:38,279
♪ She offers me protection
325
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,879
♪ A lot of love and affection
326
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,719
♪ Whether I'm right or wrong
327
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,639
♪ And down the waterfall
328
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,639
♪ Wherever it may take me
329
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,679
♪ I know my life won't break me
330
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,959
♪ When I come to call
331
00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,640
♪ She won't forsake me
332
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,840
♪ I'm loving angels instead... ♪
333
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,559
- What's that old trout on about
there?
334
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,959
- What?
- Having a pop at me. "Only here for
one day".
335
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:20,239
Just because I've not been in here,
doesn't mean I haven't seen her. Silly
old cow.
336
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:25,479
- Don't say that about Jean, Keith.
- Who'd want to come in here anyway?
337
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,039
It's a bloody shithole, full of
tossers like you.
338
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:33,119
- There's only one tosser in here.
- You think so, do you?
339
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:37,439
I'll show you who's a tosser. Come on,
outside.
- No, forget it.
340
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:41,839
- Come on, lard arse, let's see what
you're made of.
- I don't want a fight.
341
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:46,119
- You shouldn't have opened your big
gob, then.
- Just leave it.
342
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:50,399
- You're a big fella. Have a go! Come
on!
- I don't want any trouble.
343
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,760
- Well, I do.
- Yeah, so do I.
344
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,759
- ♪ And through it all
345
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,039
♪ She offers me protection
346
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,199
♪ A lot of love and affection
347
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,119
♪ Whether I'm right or wrong
348
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:11,879
♪ And down the waterfall
349
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,599
♪ Wherever it may take me
350
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,279
♪ I know that life won't break me
351
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,199
♪ When I come to call
352
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,240
♪ She won't forsake me
353
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:30,640
♪ I'm loving angels instead... ♪
354
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,160
ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO CONTINUES
355
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,840
- Bloody hell!
356
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,560
Oh, well, he won't miss this, then.
357
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,920
- Duffy.
358
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,839
- ♪ And through it all
359
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,719
♪ She offers me protection
360
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,919
♪ A lot of love and affection
361
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,599
♪ Whether I'm right or wrong... ♪
362
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:23,439
- Are you watching or working? There
are people waiting to be served.
- All right. Bloody hell!
363
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:28,199
- ♪ Wherever it may take me I know
that life won't break me
364
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:33,479
♪ When I come to call... ♪
- Duffy, look after this for me. I'm
going for a pee.
365
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,519
- All right. No problem.
366
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:40,280
- ♪ I'm loving angels instead. ♪
367
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,079
Hello, Joe.
- What are you doing?
368
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,199
What do you want?
- You.
369
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,759
- Oh, bloody hell. You can't have me.
I'm the DJ.
370
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,079
- I think that's why I want you.
371
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:56,199
- Oh, Nicola, that's silly. I'll be an
ordinary bloke tomorrow.
372
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,439
- Not tonight you're not, though. Come
here.
373
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,999
- Oh, no, I can't.
- You can.
374
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:06,040
- I can't.
- Oh, yes, you can.
- No, I can't.
- You can.
375
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,679
- Oh! Bloody Hell! Give 'em here.
376
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,200
- Ken, can I have a word?
- What is it?
- In the back a minute, please.
377
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:22,239
- What's up?
- What's the matter with you?
- What d'you mean?
378
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:28,799
- You've been picking on me all night
for nothing. Picking, like a bear with
a sore head. What have I done?
379
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:34,639
- You've been swanning about playing
up to everyone, because it's your last
night. Pull your weight!
380
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:39,239
After all I've done for you?
381
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,519
- All I'm saying...
- Now, you listen to me.
382
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:47,079
I've worked my arse off, sometimes for
nothing, cos you've struggled
383
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:51,679
and I thought something of you. This
is the thanks I get, is it?
384
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:57,760
What a bloody mug I've been, eh? I'll
tell you what, you will never treat me
like that again... ever.
385
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,799
- Ken! >
386
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,679
Ken! You're missing your Melanie.
387
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:08,360
Here she is now, the birthday girl.
388
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,039
- Tanya, I'm sorry.
389
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:19,559
- I'd just like to thank you all for
coming and for all your presents.
390
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:24,519
I'd like to thank Joe, wherever he is,
for doing the disco.
391
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:29,000
- < I hope you're not paying him.
- I'd like to thank my Dean.
392
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:37,320
- I'm sorry.
- I'd also especially like to thank
Tanya for working so hard.
393
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:46,799
It's her last night tonight and I know
that we'd like to wish her all the
best for her future.
394
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,599
She'll be sadly missed by all, not
least my dad,
395
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:55,599
who I know appreciates everything that
she's done for him.
396
00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:02,279
And last of all, I'd like to thank my
dad for putting this special night on
for me,
397
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:08,759
and more than that, I'd like to thank
him for being my best friend for the
last 21 years
398
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:14,439
and the best dad that anyone could
ever wish for. Can you come up, Dad?
399
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,959
- CHEERING
400
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,199
Speech! Speech!
401
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,440
- Speech!
- Speech!
- Speech!
402
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,799
- Thanks, love, and thanks everybody
for coming.
403
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,639
I'm sure you all know how much I think
of Melanie
404
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,679
and for her to have her 21st in the
place where she grew up,
405
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,280
surrounded by all her friends, and all
of mine too...
406
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,760
..it really means a lot to me.
407
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,479
I've spent some of the best times of
my life here
408
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,240
and I've never really wanted to leave
this place, as you all know...
409
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,120
..and I still don't.
410
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,800
So I've made a decision tonight...
411
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,320
..I'm going to stay...
412
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,760
..but only if Tanya will stay with me.
413
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,440
Tanya?
414
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,159
- Bloody Hell!
415
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,239
- ♪ Tale as old time
416
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,959
♪ Song as old as rhyme
417
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,759
♪ Beauty and the beast. ♪
418
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,520
- Piss off!
419
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,559
- That should do it, Joe.
420
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,679
Ooh... ooh... ooh...
421
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,800
Joe, that's nice.
422
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,039
Ooooh...
423
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,159
Joe... Joe...
424
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,759
- Gordon Banks.
- What?
425
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,919
- Bobby Mo-o-oore...
426
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,000
Geoff Hu-u-u-urst...
427
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,839
Oh-h,
428
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,840
oh... oh-h-h!
429
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,359
I think it's all over.
430
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:24,559
- It is NOW!
431
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,839
♪ Rushing through the stars
432
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:31,000
♪ Captivated by the worlds beyond
433
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,920
♪ So far, unknown
434
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,599
♪ Floating in a car
435
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,800
♪ Past the gates of mustdestroy.com
436
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,159
♪ You aren't alone
437
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:53,400
♪ It's a small world and you've grown.
♪
35278
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