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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:12,044 Filmexport Home Video presents 2 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:15,047 THE GOOD SOLDIER SCHWEIK 3 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,040 Starring: 4 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,736 Schweik: 5 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:23,647 Mrs. Muller: Innkeeper Palivec: 6 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:28,050 Detective Brettschneider: Army Chaplain: 7 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:32,353 Lieutenant Lukas: Mrs. Wendler: 8 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:36,451 Minor parts acted by: 9 00:01:56,716 --> 00:02:00,618 Assistant Director: 10 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:04,415 Screen Play and Direction: 11 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:17,932 So they've killed our Ferdinand, Mr. Schweik! 12 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,107 - Which Ferdinand, Mrs. Muller? I know two. 13 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:23,971 One of them does jobs for Prussia the chemist, 14 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:28,579 and one day he drank a bottle of hair oil by mistake... 15 00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:32,515 - But Mr. Schweik, it's the Archduke Ferdinand, the one from Konopiste, 16 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:35,513 you know, the fat, pious one. 17 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,451 - Good Lord, that's a fine thing... 18 00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:40,658 And where did this happen? 19 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,752 - They shot him at Sarajevo, with a revolver, you know. 20 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,760 He was riding there with his Archduchess in a motor car. 21 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,126 - Fancy that, Mrs. Muller, 22 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,829 what a bad end a ride in a motor car can have! 23 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,067 Did he suffer long? - The Archduke 24 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,835 was done for on the spot! U ou know, 25 00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:59,139 a revolver is no plaything. - With some revolvers, Mrs. Muller, 26 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:01,270 you could try till you were dotty, and they still wouldn't go off! 27 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:04,806 But they are sure to have used 28 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,385 something better than that for the Archduke! 29 00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,520 And I wouldn't mind betting, Mrs. Muller, that the fellow who did it 30 00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,648 put on his Sunday best for the job. 31 00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:15,821 U ou know, this is not a case of a poacher shooting a gamekeeper. 32 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,862 For a job like this, you have to wear a top hat, 33 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,496 or else the police would run you in before you got near him. 34 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,192 - I hear there were a whole lot of them, Mr. Schweik. 35 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,937 - Of course, Mrs. Muller! 36 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,406 If you for instance wanted to kill an Archduke... 37 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,532 - Oh, Mr. Schweik! ...or the Emperor, 38 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,440 naturally you'd talk it over with somebody. 39 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,439 Two heads are better than one. 40 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,844 One gives one bit of advice, the other gives another 41 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:40,109 and so the good work prospers. As our National Anthem says. 42 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,112 - The newspaper says, Mrs. Schweik, that the Archduke 43 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,484 was properly riddled with bullets. 44 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,783 The assassin emptied the whole lot into him. 45 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,992 - That was mighty quick work, Mrs. Muller. 46 00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,328 I'd buy a Browning for a job like that. 47 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,165 It looks like a toy, 48 00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:57,060 but in a couple of minutes, you could shoot twenty Archdukes with it, 49 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,836 thin or fat! 50 00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:06,344 - I got the shock of my life now. 51 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:08,173 I thought somebody had been spying on us! 52 00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,406 - But instead of that, our Balaban, 53 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,677 sold six times already, has returned again. 54 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,012 - Aren't you unlucky with that dog, Mr. Schweik... 55 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,089 Why did you take him in to begin with? 56 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,684 - I had to take care of him, you know, 57 00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:23,091 because he is so ugly that all the other dogs avoid him. 58 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,530 And he was so sad about it. 59 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,156 - All that suffering he's caused us! 60 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:31,367 - Well, now, Mrs. Muller, I'm going round to the "Flagon". 61 00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:32,870 - All right, Mr. Schweik. 62 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,040 - Give my key with the house porter, please! 63 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,574 - Good bye, Mr. Schweik! 64 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,343 - We are having a fine summer, aren't we? 65 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,717 - All damn rotten! 66 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,183 - That's a fine thing they have done for us at Sarajevo, don't you agree? 67 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,959 - Do you mean the wine shop in Nusle? They have a rumpus there every day. 68 00:04:57,263 --> 00:05:00,562 - No, I mean Sarajevo in Bosnia. They shot the Archduke Ferdinand there. 69 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,301 What do you think of that? - I never shove my nose 70 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,361 into that sort of thing. I've got my business to see to. 71 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,223 - Innkeeper, 72 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,885 you used to have a picture of the Emperor hanging there... 73 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:30,095 - That's right, it used to hang there, 74 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:33,595 but flies left their trademarks all over it, so I put it into the attic. 75 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:39,063 U ou see, somebody might pass a remark about it 76 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,035 and then there would be trouble. What do I need that kind of trouble for? 77 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:50,146 - Good day to all of you, Gentlemen! - Alright, Mr. Schweik. 78 00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:53,451 - One Black beer for me today. - A black one...? 79 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,420 - In Vienna, they're also in black today, for mourning. 80 00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:59,118 U ou won't believe me, gentlemen, 81 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,086 but I know that something will happen at Sarajevo. 82 00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:05,659 - What, you know about it...? - Of course, 83 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:10,229 as soon as there is an army parade, something is bound to happen. 84 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,802 Allow me, is this yours? - Please. 85 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,899 - I remember once, during an inspection like that, 86 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,566 there were twenty buttons missing from my tunic 87 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,376 and I got two weeks solitary confinement for it, 88 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,874 and had to spend two days of it tied up, hand and foot. 89 00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:27,310 And all that because of discipline. 90 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:31,514 Our company commander, a fellow called Makovec, always used to say: 91 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,156 "There's got to be discipline, you thick-headed louts, 92 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:38,560 or else you'd be crawling about like monkeys on trees!" 93 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:41,793 And isn't it true, gentlemen? - Hm. 94 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,867 - Just imagine a park, 95 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,072 on Charles Square for instance, 96 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,435 with an undisciplined soldier on every tree... 97 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,179 That's what I was always most afraid of. 98 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,342 - That business at Sarajevo was done by the Serbians. 99 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:02,820 - U ou are wrong there. 100 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,817 It was done by the Turks, because of Bosnia and Herzegovina. 101 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,387 They're cross, because our Emperor 102 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,656 did not help them in the war with Serbia. 103 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:17,231 Do you like Turks? Do you like that heathen pack of dogs? 104 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,296 - A customer is a customer! And he may be a Turk for all that. 105 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,374 People like us, who have a business to look after, 106 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:23,874 can't be bothered with politics. 107 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,975 Pay for your drink, and you can sit down and talk about what you like! 108 00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:29,373 - All right, Innkeeper, but you'll have to admit 109 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,417 that it's a great loss to Austria. 110 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,743 - U es, there's no denying it. A fearful loss! 111 00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:37,021 U ou can't replace Ferdinand by any sort of fool. 112 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:38,755 Isn't that true? 113 00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:42,253 I say, I wouldn't like to be the Archdukes widow. 114 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:45,864 What's she going to do now? The children are orphans, 115 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,823 the estate at Konopiste is without a master, what is she going to do...? 116 00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:53,635 Marry another Archduke? What good would come of that? 117 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:57,100 She'd take another trip to Sarajevo and be left a widow for the second time! 118 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:02,174 - Come, come, gentlemen, talk about something else! I don't like this! 119 00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:06,009 One word leads to another and then you might be sorry! 120 00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:10,048 - We are not drunk enough to make nasty remarks about the Emperor! 121 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,152 - And what sort of nasty remarks 122 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,488 about the Emperor do people make when they are... 123 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,062 - Well... - Well, what...? 124 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:21,732 - All sorts. - Well, what sorts? 125 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,424 Do you know any? 126 00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,370 - Get drunk... - And then what? 127 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,299 ...get them to play the Austrian National Anthem... 128 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,065 - Well, and...? 129 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,541 ...and you'll see what you'll start saying. 130 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,308 But the Emperor is not going to put up with that sort of thing. 131 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:42,183 Little do you know! There's got to be war with them Turks! 132 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:44,784 Kill my uncle, would you? 133 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:46,151 Then take this smack in the jaw for a start. 134 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,420 There's going to be a war! That's all I can tell you. 135 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:57,561 - Follow me into the alley and I'll tell you something. 136 00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:12,347 - Let me have another Slivovitz 137 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,952 and I shall have to go, you know, I've just been arrested. 138 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,825 - Come here! 139 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,153 Are you married? - U es. 140 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,362 - And can your wife carry on the business during your absence? 141 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:28,899 - U es. 142 00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,458 - Well then, hand the business over to your wife 143 00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:31,969 and we shall come for you in the evening! 144 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,504 - But why? - Don't you worry, 145 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,371 I am being run in only for high treason. - And I was being that careful! 146 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,638 - I've got you for saying that the flies left their trademarks on the Emperor. 147 00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:41,604 Let's go! 148 00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:47,042 They'll knock all that stuff about the Emperor out of your head! 149 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:54,417 - I am innocent! I don't read the papers at all! 150 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,851 - What concern is that of mine...? - I am not interested 151 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,487 in politics! Mister! 152 00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,622 Mister, I'm innocent! Innocent! 153 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,757 - For God's sake, where did you put my basket? 154 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,495 - Call my lawyer immediately! 155 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,367 - What's that?! What's that?! - Off you go! 156 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,102 - Please... be kind enough to tell the inspector, 157 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,072 that I'm a stationer! 158 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:13,644 - Is there a vacant place here? 159 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,808 - Well, what does it look like outside? Shall we be here for long? 160 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:23,454 - It depends on the kind of crime you have committed. 161 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:25,887 - Mister, I'm the chairman of the "Smallholder's Union"! 162 00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:30,525 We just had a garden party. Two tons of Wiener schnitzels 163 00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:32,363 and a lottery. 164 00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,364 And just when the party was going fine, a gentleman came around 165 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:38,096 and told us to stop, that Austria was in mourning. 166 00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,630 So I said: "Just wait a moment, 167 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:44,540 wait till they've played 'Hey, Slovane"'. And here I am. 168 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,136 - Well, you can be sure of a long stay! They took me in 169 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:49,680 just for trumping a king at cards and saying: 170 00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:52,250 "Bang goes the king, just like in Sarajevo." 171 00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,711 - This looks like ten years 172 00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:56,914 for each of us. - But why me?! 173 00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,056 I have a stationer's shop! - I'm innocent, Mister! 174 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:01,692 I'm innocent! 175 00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:04,988 - So was Jesus Christ, and they crucified him for all that! 176 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,155 Well, nobody has ever anywhere at anytime, 177 00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:08,733 cared a damn whether a man's innocent or not 178 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,291 - That's true. 179 00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:11,802 - I am not Jesus Christ, 180 00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:14,805 I'm really innocent! - Quiet, now! 181 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,307 - Please, Mister, you have such a kind look on you face, 182 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,970 tell them I'm innocent! 183 00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:24,015 - Quiet, please! I'm preparing a lecture! 184 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,614 - I am innocent! - Come on... 185 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,211 - And why do you happen to be here? 186 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:32,522 - Leave me alone, you good-for-nothings. 187 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,256 With you, I could only get into trouble. 188 00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,463 - This gent is here for attempted murder only. 189 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,359 He tried to murder an old man from Holice. 190 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,295 - Now I'm here, too! - I felt sure the gentleman 191 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:49,966 would keep his word. It's nice to know you can rely on people. 192 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,234 - I don't give a damn! 193 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,176 - Well, I think I'll go mad! We are really in prison! 194 00:11:57,516 --> 00:12:00,485 - It used to be much worse, you know. In the old days, the accused had 195 00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:02,781 to walk over glowing hot iron... - U ou don't say! 196 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,490 ...and they made them drink melted lead! 197 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:08,560 - For God's sake! - Today, it's a real pleasure! 198 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:12,956 We have bunks, and a table, 199 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,295 and the toilet is right under our noses. - U es. 200 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:20,563 - Conditions have certainly improved! To our benefit. 201 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,839 - Schweik Joseph! Come up for examination! 202 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,638 - Excuse me. 203 00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:31,547 - But I didn't say anything like that! 204 00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:41,256 - How often are you going to spit, man? 205 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:42,993 - Well, as a matter of fact, I don't feel like it, 206 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,528 but I'm trying to do as the regulations tell me to. 207 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,495 - Ha. I'm sure... - That notice over there says... 208 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,170 ...some at the "Flagon". 209 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,933 - Good evening, gentlemen, I hope you're all well! 210 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,415 - Take that idiotic expression off your face! 211 00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,480 - I can't help it! 212 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,090 I was discharged from the army on account of being feeble minded. 213 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,048 I'm feeble minded officially, please. 214 00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,821 - The offences you have committed show, 215 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,693 that you have got all your wits about you! 216 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,463 Insulting his Royal Highness, approval of the murder of the Archduke, 217 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:30,241 making fun of the State Mourning, inciting rebellion... 218 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,777 Why are you sticking your nose into my papers?! 219 00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:34,979 - I only wanted to know whether anything has been left out! 220 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,445 - What have you got to say for yourself? 221 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,883 - There's a lot of it. U ou know, you can have too much of a good thing. 222 00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:43,248 - So you admit it's true? 223 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:46,688 - I admit everything. U ou've got to be strict! 224 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:50,188 - Who do you keep company with? - My charwoman, Sir. 225 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:54,991 - And you don't know anybody in political circles here? 226 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:59,030 - Of course I do, I buy the "National Politics" regularly, 227 00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,633 because of the ads, you know, in case someone looks for a lost dog... 228 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,298 - Shut your trap! 229 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:05,808 Do you admit everything? 230 00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:08,538 - If you wish me to admit me everything, 231 00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:12,378 I shall admit it. Sir, but if you tell me: 232 00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,043 "Schweik, don't you admit anything!" 233 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,716 Then I shall argue the point till the end of my days. 234 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,817 - Sign here! 235 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,285 - Just a moment! I forgot the full stop. 236 00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,988 Is there anything else for me to sign? 237 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:54,459 - U ou'll be taken to the Criminal Court in the morning. 238 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,954 - And at what time, Sir? I would not like to oversleep, 239 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,690 whatever happens! - Get out! 240 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:03,296 - Well, I only wanted to avoid causing a delay... 241 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,114 So what? How? 242 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,681 - I just confessed 243 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,695 that I probably killed Archduke Ferdinand. 244 00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,187 - Welcome. 245 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,367 CRIMINAL COURT This golden gate, 246 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,561 is open today, 247 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,639 Who walks in, will lose his head, 248 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,637 This golden gate is open today, 249 00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,605 who walks in, will lose his head... 250 00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:49,213 - Good day. 251 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,010 - Sit down. 252 00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,193 So you are Mr. Schweik? 253 00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:05,161 - I think I must be, 254 00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:08,162 because my dad was called Schweik 255 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,435 and my mother was Mrs. Schweik. 256 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,229 - This is a fine business you've been up to... 257 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,266 U ou've got plenty on your conscience! 258 00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,204 - I've always got plenty on my conscience. 259 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,975 I'll bet I've got more on my conscience than what you have, Sir. 260 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,817 - I can see that from the statement you signed. 261 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,421 Well... 262 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:35,157 Did they bring any pressure to bear on you at Police Headquarters? 263 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,724 - Not a bit of it, Sir! 264 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,523 When they told me to sign, I just did what they told me to. 265 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:45,632 I'm not going to quarrel with them over my own signature. 266 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,335 I shouldn't be doing myself any good that way! 267 00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:51,804 - Do you feel quite well, Mr. Schweik? 268 00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:55,841 - I wouldn't say quite well, U our Honor. 269 00:16:56,382 --> 00:17:00,011 I've got rheumatism and I'm using embrocation for it. 270 00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:03,619 When the weather is about to change, it hurts something awful! 271 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,850 Do you hear how my joints creak? 272 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:12,892 - Do sit down again! 273 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:17,591 What do you say, Mr. Schweik, 274 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:22,703 if we were to have you examined by the medical authorities? 275 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,044 - There was one doctor, who examined me already 276 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:30,377 at Police Headquarters, to see if I had V.D. 277 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,683 Well... you know, Mr. Schweik, 278 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,955 I think we shall try the medical board. 279 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:41,617 U ou'll have a nice rest, won't you? 280 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,559 One more question. 281 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:47,831 U ou are supposed to have said, 282 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,161 that war is going to break out soon. 283 00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:55,269 - U es, U our Honor. It will break out any moment now. 284 00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,771 - Don't you think you could be wrong? 285 00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,667 - I hope not, 286 00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:02,575 after all, it's already written down in my statement, U our Honor. 287 00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:05,283 - So you know it for sure? 288 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:08,410 - Anybody may be wrong, 289 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,722 an educated man as well as an illiterate fool. 290 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,953 Even ministers are wrong sometimes. 291 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:18,829 - Don't you ever feel run down at all? 292 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:20,888 - No, U our Honor, 293 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,229 except that I once got nearly run down by a motor car, 294 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:27,399 on Charles' Square. But that's years ago. 295 00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:31,365 - That's quite enough. U ou may go now. 296 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:36,578 - Thanks very much, U our Honor, I'm very pleased to have met you! 297 00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:55,490 Gentlemen, long live our Emperor Franz Joseph the First! 298 00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,999 - The case is quite clear. 299 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,995 Any further examinations are quite unnecessary. 300 00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:04,137 - But we shall have to comply with the law! 301 00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:11,415 - Take five steps! 302 00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:27,722 I've told you to take five steps only! 303 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,358 - A few steps more or less won't kill me. 304 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:41,540 And I did not complain of anything having fallen in my eye. 305 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,916 - Show us your teeth! Better, man, better! 306 00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:49,115 - This is how a Danish hound would do it, gentlemen! 307 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:50,954 - Sit down! 308 00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:54,882 Cross your feet! 309 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,692 Not this way, at leisure! 310 00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:08,168 - Tell us quickly, could you measure the diameter of the globe? 311 00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,907 - Tell us quickly! Is radium heavier than lead? 312 00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,499 - I've never weighed it, Sir. 313 00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:15,545 - Listen, you can sing? 314 00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:18,748 Could you sing a song for us? 315 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:20,750 - Of course, gentlemen. 316 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:22,686 I have neither voice nor ear, 317 00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:26,056 but I shall do it to please you, if you want to have some fun. 318 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:34,425 Oh, the monk 319 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,502 in the armchair yonder, 320 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:42,762 in his hand 321 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:47,441 he bows his head... 322 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:50,373 That's all I know, but then, 323 00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:54,111 I know some folksongs, like: "God save our Emperor" 324 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:58,990 and "When we went into the war..." and then some hymns... 325 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,092 - I believe that's quite enough. 326 00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,920 - One more question, 327 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,495 professor. - Of course, please yourself. 328 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:06,257 - Dear colleague, I believe... - No, no! 329 00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:07,888 I insist on this question! 330 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,195 Tell me, how much is 331 00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,667 12897 times 332 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,240 13863? 333 00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:17,841 - 729. 334 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:29,249 - Let's write down our findings. 335 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:32,952 The undersigned medical authorities, 336 00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:38,319 agree on the complete insanity of Joseph Schweik, 337 00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,593 who expresses himself in terms such as 338 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,296 "Long live our Emperor Franz Joseph the First!"...a remark, 339 00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:47,797 which completely suffices 340 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:49,806 to demonstrate 341 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,507 Schweik's mind to be that 342 00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:56,913 of an obvious imbecile. 343 00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,440 The undersigned medical authorities 344 00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:01,281 thus return the examined Joseph Schweik 345 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:04,111 to the responsible authorities. 346 00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:43,895 That's the Emperor's proclamation to say, that war has been declared! 347 00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:47,755 - I saw it coming, 348 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,996 but in the Asylum they don't know anything about it yet, 349 00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,569 although they should be the first to get it. 350 00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:54,805 - What do you mean by this? 351 00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:59,742 - Because they've got a lot of army officers locked up there. 352 00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:01,377 - Aha. Right. 353 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:04,709 - Long live the Emperor Franz Joseph! 354 00:23:05,183 --> 00:23:06,810 We'll win this war! 355 00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:27,160 - That's enough. No trouble now! Just disperse quietly! 356 00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:31,970 Gentlemen, I can see it quite clearly. 357 00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:35,375 We're absolutely bound to win this war! 358 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:42,242 - I'm extremely sorry that you've fallen into our hands again. 359 00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:46,984 We thought you'd turn over a new leaf, but we seem to have been mistaken! 360 00:23:47,659 --> 00:23:49,286 Tell me, Mr. Schweik, who was it that induced you 361 00:23:49,461 --> 00:23:51,326 to indulge in such silly tricks?! 362 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:54,065 - I don't know what silly tricks you mean! 363 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:58,694 - Well, isn't it a silly trick to cause a crowd to collect 364 00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:03,199 and incite them by shouting: "Long live the Emperor Franz Joseph, 365 00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,539 we'll win this war!"? 366 00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:09,202 - It fairly riled me to see them all reading the Royal proclamation 367 00:24:09,314 --> 00:24:11,111 and not showing any pleasure about it at all, 368 00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:14,249 nobody shouted Hooray or called for cheers! 369 00:24:15,153 --> 00:24:18,486 So I, being an old soldier, had to shout these words! 370 00:24:19,624 --> 00:24:21,819 And I think, that if you'd been in my place, 371 00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:23,520 you'd have done just the same. 372 00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:27,587 If there's a war, it's got to be won. Nobody is going to talk me out of that! 373 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,959 - I thoroughly appreciate your enthusiasm, 374 00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:33,663 but the fact that you were under police escort 375 00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:36,466 must have made a rather ironic impression... 376 00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,705 - When a man is being run in by a police officer, 377 00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:42,780 it is a critical moment in his life. 378 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,371 And, if at such a moment, 379 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:46,314 a man does not forget to do the proper thing, 380 00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:48,950 that is not a bad thing at all. 381 00:24:49,087 --> 00:24:52,147 - Go to blazes, Schweik! 382 00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:55,926 But if we ever meet here again, 383 00:24:56,461 --> 00:25:01,364 you will go straight before a Court Martial! Is that clear? 384 00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:04,199 - God bless you for everything you have done! 385 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,767 And if you'd like a thoroughbred dog at any time, 386 00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:08,339 just call on me, 387 00:25:08,406 --> 00:25:10,772 I deal in dogs. - Get out! 388 00:25:21,486 --> 00:25:23,818 I don't believe him anyway. Go on, tell us, inspector, 389 00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:27,222 How can a lout like him be interested in Austria winning the war? 390 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,757 - Well, in any case, don't let him get out of sight! 391 00:25:31,796 --> 00:25:32,922 As you wish... U ou know what? 392 00:25:33,064 --> 00:25:34,656 We'll try to take him unawares! 393 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:41,529 - Well, U es, yes, yes, yes, yes! 394 00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:45,566 Good day. - Good day. 395 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:49,913 - Well, here I am, back again. 396 00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,340 But where is Mr. Palivec? 397 00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:57,515 - They gave him... ...ten years... 398 00:26:00,592 --> 00:26:02,492 a week... ago. 399 00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:04,586 - Fancy that now... 400 00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:07,260 then he has already served seven days of it. 401 00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:12,901 - And he was that cautious... 402 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:17,138 - Caution is the mother of wisdom. 403 00:26:18,143 --> 00:26:19,576 Well, let me have a large rum! 404 00:26:22,614 --> 00:26:25,105 - And the sausages, Mrs. Palivec? 405 00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:27,442 - I'm getting them right away. 406 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:37,894 - Good day. 407 00:26:57,048 --> 00:26:59,608 - Fancy that, a man called Cimpera, 408 00:27:00,652 --> 00:27:02,643 Straskov No.6, 409 00:27:03,722 --> 00:27:08,386 is selling a farm with 13 acres of fields, 410 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:12,320 situated close to school and railway... 411 00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:15,889 - I am surprised to find that you are interested in farming, Mr. Schweik. 412 00:27:17,068 --> 00:27:18,501 - Oh, it's you, is it? 413 00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:20,260 I didn't recognize you! 414 00:27:20,338 --> 00:27:22,704 - I came here today on your account. - Well, let's go then. 415 00:27:23,074 --> 00:27:24,473 - Stay where you are! 416 00:27:26,111 --> 00:27:28,739 All I want is a dog. 417 00:27:29,014 --> 00:27:30,504 - That I can get for you! 418 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,614 - Oh God...! 419 00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:37,287 Help me, I'm so unhappy! 420 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:41,120 What have I ever done to anybody? 421 00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:45,091 - Don't cry, woman! In three months, we'll have won the war, 422 00:27:45,597 --> 00:27:47,531 there will be an amnesty and your husband will come home! 423 00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:49,933 - And will that help me? 424 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:53,399 Here I have hot sausages and all the customers went away! 425 00:27:55,306 --> 00:27:57,570 Why do you keep coming here? 426 00:27:58,043 --> 00:27:59,908 U ou will ruin me. 427 00:28:02,814 --> 00:28:04,475 - Well, leave them here, I'll pay for them! 428 00:28:07,752 --> 00:28:10,312 And a bottle of wine, I want to spend some real money today! 429 00:28:14,492 --> 00:28:17,427 - Wouldn't you like a police dog? I know a man who's got one. 430 00:28:17,829 --> 00:28:19,854 - U ou know, all I'm concerned about is his size. 431 00:28:20,165 --> 00:28:21,598 - The one I'm talking about is about this size... 432 00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:24,430 - Oh, no! I'd like a ratter. 433 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,364 Quite a small one... a cheap one. 434 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:27,637 - A ratter is no calf. 435 00:28:27,739 --> 00:28:29,400 The smaller they are, the more they cost! 436 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,008 - Well, in that case... ...a bigger one will do. 437 00:28:31,776 --> 00:28:35,177 - I'll have to ask you for an advance of 30 crowns, 438 00:28:35,780 --> 00:28:39,580 and I'll get you a dog that will make everybody's head turn round. 439 00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:42,552 - 30 crowns? Well... 440 00:28:43,455 --> 00:28:45,753 Here they are. And let's have a drink on the bargain! 441 00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:48,451 - One more, please! - What's wrong? 442 00:28:49,194 --> 00:28:50,889 - Well, you have to pay for having fun! 443 00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:54,363 - Today you don't have to be afraid of me, I'm not on duty 444 00:28:59,938 --> 00:29:03,305 and you can say whatever you like about politics! 445 00:29:04,776 --> 00:29:06,437 - I don't discuss things like that in a pub. 446 00:29:07,212 --> 00:29:09,772 Anyway, all politics are for children. - U ou think so? 447 00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:12,775 Of course, yes, or for such fools 448 00:29:12,884 --> 00:29:15,944 as Franz Joseph. Hahahaha... 449 00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:21,320 Come here, friend! ...U ou do like me, don't you? 450 00:29:22,293 --> 00:29:23,783 - Look here, friend, give me some advice, 451 00:29:24,028 --> 00:29:25,620 I want to register with the Anarchists. 452 00:29:26,030 --> 00:29:29,022 Why not, what do you say to that? U es. And all that... Look, look, look... 453 00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:30,833 Come here and take this! Take this! 454 00:29:33,738 --> 00:29:35,205 Call me by my first name, will you? 455 00:29:42,747 --> 00:29:47,684 - "What every good citizen earns, 456 00:29:49,687 --> 00:29:54,647 the state takes away from him!" 457 00:29:56,027 --> 00:29:57,494 - Don't be silly! 458 00:29:58,062 --> 00:30:00,587 Someone will come and you'll have difficulties... 459 00:30:00,932 --> 00:30:02,763 U ou get all sorts today! Look, Bohous, 460 00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:06,835 what about that ratter, where do I deliver him? 461 00:30:07,105 --> 00:30:09,005 Ratter? What ratter? 462 00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:11,575 Oh, the ratter! 463 00:30:13,044 --> 00:30:15,945 Bohous... Pepik... Don't worry about ratters, 464 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,449 U ou know, I shall come and get the ratter... 465 00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:22,119 personally... 466 00:30:26,057 --> 00:30:28,958 - Good afternoon! Mr. Schweik! - Good afternoon. 467 00:30:32,063 --> 00:30:35,965 Good afternoon. So I'm back again, Mrs. Muller! 468 00:30:36,034 --> 00:30:38,935 - For Christ's sake, Mr. Schweik, so you're alive? 469 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:42,736 Don't be cross with me, I took a new lodger, 470 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:46,140 he's a porter in a nightclub. They searched your place three times. 471 00:30:46,644 --> 00:30:49,841 Everybody said you are a lost cause, because you are such a card! 472 00:31:05,663 --> 00:31:09,793 - Look here, boss, get up, 473 00:31:11,302 --> 00:31:12,735 or you'll be late! 474 00:31:13,805 --> 00:31:16,365 - Get out! 475 00:31:16,507 --> 00:31:19,237 - I'd be very sorry if you'd have to state to your company commander 476 00:31:19,777 --> 00:31:22,041 that it was my fault you overslept the mobilization. 477 00:31:23,481 --> 00:31:25,142 See for yourself, here it is, 478 00:31:26,784 --> 00:31:28,251 there's a war on! 479 00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:31,012 - What sort of stupid joke is this? 480 00:31:31,856 --> 00:31:33,323 - War! 481 00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:37,223 - And I wanted to sleep till eight in the evening. 482 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,721 Marena, get up! 483 00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:46,503 - Hello, hello. 484 00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:14,154 They're taking them to the station now. 485 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:20,003 - Luis, I won't let you go! 486 00:32:20,738 --> 00:32:23,298 Christ, you are such a big chunk of a fellow, 487 00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:26,500 they'll hit you in no time! 488 00:32:26,844 --> 00:32:28,573 - Marena, damn you, don't be silly! 489 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,945 I've been working in a nightclub for ten years... 490 00:32:31,249 --> 00:32:33,979 A silly war can have no surprises for me! 491 00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:35,843 Let's go! 492 00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:47,893 - The Emperor declared war 493 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,026 and asked everybody to join... 494 00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:53,069 - Mrs. Muller! 495 00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:56,206 Mrs. Muller! 496 00:32:57,742 --> 00:33:00,734 - U es, Mr. Schweik? Is your rheumatism worse again? 497 00:33:02,413 --> 00:33:05,041 - Hand me my army cap from the wardrobe! 498 00:33:31,576 --> 00:33:33,009 I'm going to join the army! 499 00:33:33,111 --> 00:33:34,908 - Gracious me... And what are you going to do there? 500 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:36,913 - Fight! 501 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:40,918 Austria's in a bad way, that's why they are calling me up. 502 00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:44,486 Even our evening paper admits now, that our dear fatherland is threatened 503 00:33:45,990 --> 00:33:48,891 by dark clouds. - Clouds can move, can't they! 504 00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:51,889 - It doesn't matter, Mrs. Muller, I'll join the army in a Bath chair! 505 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:55,230 The confectioner around the corner has just the thing I want. 506 00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:57,665 U ears ago, he used to wheel his lame, wicked grandfather in it. 507 00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,236 - But, Mr. Schweik...! 508 00:33:59,771 --> 00:34:01,432 - Get that wheel chair 509 00:34:02,140 --> 00:34:05,268 and push me to the war! 510 00:34:11,949 --> 00:34:15,817 To Belgrade! To Belgrade! 511 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:25,188 - Look, people, how funny. A lame man going to enlist! 512 00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:26,795 - They're going to win, aren't they... 513 00:34:41,879 --> 00:34:43,369 - To Belgrade! 514 00:34:51,122 --> 00:34:54,853 U ou are wrong, I have it here, written out quite clearly! 515 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,389 - To appear before the authorities, clean, tidy 516 00:34:59,497 --> 00:35:02,796 and in a sober state... 517 00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:04,697 What is there to laugh about?! - As you can see, 518 00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,532 my dear policeman, 519 00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:08,400 I'm really going to join up! 520 00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:13,169 For the Emperor and his family! 521 00:35:33,931 --> 00:35:35,455 - He's a heroic soldier! 522 00:35:36,067 --> 00:35:37,591 - Escort this man to the local Army Headquarters! 523 00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:40,034 - Let me pass! Let me pass! 524 00:35:40,238 --> 00:35:42,900 I know this gent from "Free Mind"! 525 00:35:43,574 --> 00:35:45,201 Long live the Serbians, our brothers! Don't you agree? 526 00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:48,674 Hip hip... Hooray! 527 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:51,513 - People, that's a secret policeman! 528 00:35:53,217 --> 00:35:54,650 - He's trying to provoke us! 529 00:36:21,712 --> 00:36:23,339 - Das ganze tschechische Volk 530 00:36:23,514 --> 00:36:25,607 ist eine simulanten Bande! 531 00:36:27,618 --> 00:36:29,085 How many people are to appear before the Board today? 532 00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:31,177 - 550. 533 00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:35,849 - And how many should be drafted? - 550. 534 00:36:36,060 --> 00:36:38,722 - Well, get them here, quick! 535 00:36:45,069 --> 00:36:47,230 Halasek Joseph, baker. 536 00:36:52,777 --> 00:36:56,736 - One hundred and sixty. - Tauglich! 537 00:36:56,814 --> 00:36:59,374 - Kocicka Vaclav - waiter. 538 00:37:00,618 --> 00:37:02,108 - Tauglich! 539 00:37:02,186 --> 00:37:04,450 - Hrdina Borivoj - teacher. 540 00:37:05,423 --> 00:37:06,913 - Tauglich! 541 00:37:10,027 --> 00:37:11,460 Take that malingerer away! 542 00:37:15,499 --> 00:37:16,932 Waiter! 543 00:37:17,034 --> 00:37:20,526 - Schweik Joseph! - Here! 544 00:37:34,852 --> 00:37:37,013 - Superarbitrated on account of being feeble minded. 545 00:37:38,289 --> 00:37:40,621 - And what else is wrong with you? 546 00:37:41,425 --> 00:37:43,393 - Beg to report, Sir, I've got rheumatism, 547 00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:47,328 but I'll serve the Emperor till I'm hacked to pieces. 548 00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:49,255 - Sie sind ein Simulant! 549 00:37:50,134 --> 00:37:51,965 Arrest that man immediately, 550 00:37:58,376 --> 00:38:01,812 and take him to Dr. Grunstein, 551 00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:05,438 he cures every single one for them! 552 00:38:07,151 --> 00:38:09,483 - Doctor's round! - Doctor's round! 553 00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,987 - Out of bed! Doctor Grunstein. 554 00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:15,182 Out! 555 00:38:26,070 --> 00:38:27,594 Macuna. Asthma. 556 00:38:27,738 --> 00:38:30,138 - Enema and aspirin. 557 00:38:32,610 --> 00:38:34,100 - Kotatko - deaf and dumb. 558 00:38:34,178 --> 00:38:35,611 - Have you been like that since birth? 559 00:38:37,782 --> 00:38:40,910 Wash his stomach out and quinine! 560 00:38:42,420 --> 00:38:44,217 - Pokorny - tuberculosis. 561 00:38:45,856 --> 00:38:48,222 - Double enema! 562 00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:53,492 - Schweik. - Here! 563 00:38:54,465 --> 00:38:55,932 - No diagnosis as yet. 564 00:38:56,767 --> 00:38:59,361 - What's wrong with you then? 565 00:38:59,804 --> 00:39:01,863 - I obediently report that I've got rheumatism. 566 00:39:01,939 --> 00:39:06,501 - Oh, what a coincidence, getting rheumatism when there's a world war 567 00:39:06,911 --> 00:39:08,572 and you're supposed to fight...! 568 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,345 U ou must be cursing your luck! 569 00:39:12,416 --> 00:39:16,580 - I obediently report, oberarzt, that I'm cursing my luck! 570 00:39:16,654 --> 00:39:19,122 - Hm. And do your knees hurt? 571 00:39:19,790 --> 00:39:21,257 - I obediently report that they hurt. 572 00:39:21,425 --> 00:39:25,122 - Well, we'll treat you here better than in Pistany! 573 00:39:25,463 --> 00:39:28,990 And you'll be marching to the front as fast as your legs can carry you! 574 00:39:29,266 --> 00:39:32,064 Write this down! Complete diet, 575 00:39:32,136 --> 00:39:36,800 wash his stomach out once a day and an enema once a day! 576 00:39:36,907 --> 00:39:39,205 A proper one! 577 00:39:39,310 --> 00:39:44,247 Until he begs all the saints for the rheumatism to get up and go! 578 00:39:51,856 --> 00:39:53,323 Right, now... 579 00:39:54,258 --> 00:39:57,785 ...now I'm going to give you some medicine. 580 00:40:12,343 --> 00:40:13,867 Drink that immediately! 581 00:40:24,688 --> 00:40:26,280 - God save our souls...! 582 00:40:33,531 --> 00:40:36,762 - I am not going to examine you, you bums! 583 00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:40,262 I know you are all malingerers who want to shirk the army. 584 00:40:41,739 --> 00:40:44,799 Don't think me an utter fool! 585 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:48,871 Those beds have accommodated whole swarms of men, 586 00:40:48,979 --> 00:40:51,880 who had nothing wrong with them except a lack of military spirit! 587 00:40:51,982 --> 00:40:55,850 I cured all of them with my enemas. 588 00:40:57,087 --> 00:41:01,285 In twenty years to come, you'll still scream in your sleep 589 00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:03,051 when you dream 590 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:08,030 you're trying to swing the lead on Doctor Grunstein! 591 00:41:09,166 --> 00:41:10,599 - Beg to report, Sir, 592 00:41:10,701 --> 00:41:12,362 my ability to speak and my hearing seem to be returning. 593 00:41:13,537 --> 00:41:15,334 - Good, 594 00:41:15,406 --> 00:41:18,898 but you'll have your enema before you go, 595 00:41:19,510 --> 00:41:22,673 so you can't complain we didn't cure you here! 596 00:41:33,023 --> 00:41:35,821 - The most sacred emotions were touchingly demonstrated 597 00:41:35,926 --> 00:41:38,520 by a cripple, who was being wheeled along 598 00:41:38,629 --> 00:41:40,529 in a Bath chair by an old woman. 599 00:41:40,898 --> 00:41:44,629 "To Belgrade!", shouted this worthy son of the Czech nation, 600 00:41:44,935 --> 00:41:47,233 who enlisted in the army, 601 00:41:47,571 --> 00:41:50,665 in order to prove his fidelity to the Emperor. 602 00:41:51,141 --> 00:41:54,872 This man is prepared to give his life and possessions for his monarch. 603 00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,079 - Genug, ma chere! Genug! 604 00:41:57,314 --> 00:42:00,044 - As U our Excellency, the Baroness, commands. 605 00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:02,142 It goes no further anyway. 606 00:42:09,059 --> 00:42:10,890 - Ach, mein Gemahl, 607 00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:14,787 the general von Botzenheim, he used to say: 608 00:42:15,199 --> 00:42:18,259 A Czech soldier, always a good soldier! 609 00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:21,297 Johann! 610 00:42:22,907 --> 00:42:27,503 We must go to the hospital immediately, to find this heroic soldier! 611 00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,710 It's no good coming here with rheumatism! 612 00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:40,120 This stands as much chance here as corns! 613 00:42:40,858 --> 00:42:44,157 I have only half a stomach and nobody believes me anyway! 614 00:42:45,262 --> 00:42:48,390 The best thing is to have petrol injected under the skin! 615 00:42:48,899 --> 00:42:49,866 That gives you an elevated temperature, which makes you want 616 00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,434 to jump out of the window! 617 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:55,130 - Jesus, 618 00:42:55,205 --> 00:42:57,935 I'm hungry! 619 00:42:59,143 --> 00:43:01,611 I cant stand it any longer! 620 00:43:02,846 --> 00:43:04,643 - I had a dream today, 621 00:43:06,016 --> 00:43:08,849 that I was eating some lovely dumplings. 622 00:43:09,353 --> 00:43:10,911 - Hot or cold? 623 00:43:12,056 --> 00:43:14,650 - Cold. - That I couldn't, 624 00:43:15,993 --> 00:43:17,790 I prefer them hot, 625 00:43:18,696 --> 00:43:20,687 and a nice, golden brown color! 626 00:43:20,764 --> 00:43:24,200 - For God's sake, fellows, stop talking about food! 627 00:43:24,702 --> 00:43:26,795 - Everybody to bed! Did you hear me? 628 00:43:26,904 --> 00:43:28,064 Be quick about it! Get a move on! 629 00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:29,730 Some Archduchess is supposed to come here! 630 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,508 What are you waiting for? For goodness' sake, lads! 631 00:43:32,843 --> 00:43:34,435 Hurry up! 632 00:43:35,079 --> 00:43:36,910 And don't dare to show your dirty feet, you louts! 633 00:43:37,414 --> 00:43:39,609 No complaints either, do you hear me? 634 00:43:40,084 --> 00:43:42,075 Who says a word will be strung up later! 635 00:43:42,786 --> 00:43:45,346 - I beg to report that I'd like to welcome the Archduchess. 636 00:43:45,856 --> 00:43:48,848 I know a very nice welcoming address. - Will you lie down! 637 00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,485 - I obediently report that I'm lying down. 638 00:44:00,871 --> 00:44:03,396 - Well, here is our dear Schweik. 639 00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:09,879 He's being very patient. 640 00:44:10,447 --> 00:44:14,975 A chair! - Schweik, two enemas and a chair! 641 00:44:15,052 --> 00:44:17,953 - For the Baroness! - An enema for the Baroness? 642 00:44:18,022 --> 00:44:20,422 - A chair! - Oh, a chair! 643 00:44:20,924 --> 00:44:24,189 - A Czech soldier - very good soldier! 644 00:44:25,029 --> 00:44:30,023 A crippled soldier, I love a Czech Austrian. 645 00:44:30,768 --> 00:44:33,202 I've read everything in the papers! 646 00:44:37,441 --> 00:44:39,602 Johann! Come here! 647 00:44:44,548 --> 00:44:46,038 I've brought you something nice to eat... 648 00:44:50,187 --> 00:44:52,655 ...bite... 649 00:44:54,491 --> 00:44:56,322 ...sip... 650 00:44:57,261 --> 00:44:59,229 ...to smoke... 651 00:45:00,130 --> 00:45:02,462 and to drink. 652 00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:04,657 Read the inscription aloud! 653 00:45:05,235 --> 00:45:09,001 - Deutschmeisster, liqueur for soldiers and civilians. 654 00:45:09,406 --> 00:45:11,738 Gott strafe England. 655 00:45:12,342 --> 00:45:14,139 - When in need... 656 00:45:15,779 --> 00:45:17,246 Pardon me, Madam, 657 00:45:17,548 --> 00:45:18,981 I wanted to say: 658 00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:23,816 "God bless you for all these gifts, 659 00:45:24,188 --> 00:45:25,655 amen!" 660 00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:31,719 - Look how the soldier enjoys it all! 661 00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:35,754 I am sure he will be cured soon and fit for the front! 662 00:45:35,966 --> 00:45:38,457 - Certainly, Baroness. I won't keep him a day longer, 663 00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,161 than necessary! 664 00:46:37,861 --> 00:46:39,328 - I haven't smoked since heaven knows when! 665 00:46:39,429 --> 00:46:40,896 Stop it! Don't be stupid! Quiet now! 666 00:46:40,964 --> 00:46:45,162 - Here! - Here! 667 00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,329 Habt acht! Habt acht! 668 00:46:50,741 --> 00:46:52,299 Habt acht! Habt acht! 669 00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:05,777 - So, you louts, you don't appreciate my kindness! 670 00:47:06,390 --> 00:47:10,690 I pump your stomachs, I give you enemas, 671 00:47:10,994 --> 00:47:14,452 and the moment I turn my back you try to kill yourselves by overeating! 672 00:47:14,898 --> 00:47:17,230 All of them are to have their stomachs pumped out, immediately! 673 00:47:19,303 --> 00:47:23,501 Do you know the Baroness? 674 00:47:23,874 --> 00:47:26,206 - She's my stepmother. 675 00:47:26,710 --> 00:47:28,769 She abandoned me at a tender age 676 00:47:29,112 --> 00:47:30,511 and now she's found me again. 677 00:47:34,885 --> 00:47:39,083 - Give him another enema and then send him straight to jail! 678 00:47:43,727 --> 00:47:45,695 - Don't spare me! 679 00:47:46,096 --> 00:47:48,929 The foundations of the Austrian Empire are based on that enema 680 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:51,528 and victory is sure to be ours! 681 00:48:34,811 --> 00:48:37,302 - Smell my fist, you lout! 682 00:48:39,449 --> 00:48:42,247 - I wouldn't like to feel it on my nose! It smells of graveyards! 683 00:48:43,086 --> 00:48:45,611 - Well, then, remember it, you twerp! 684 00:48:59,970 --> 00:49:03,167 - Just a moment I'm coming! 685 00:49:14,117 --> 00:49:17,382 - Now you'll see a good show! The chaplain is usually drunk. 686 00:49:33,270 --> 00:49:35,397 - Habt acht! 687 00:49:36,340 --> 00:49:38,331 Everybody follow me in prayers. 688 00:49:38,942 --> 00:49:40,603 Repeat what I'll say. 689 00:49:43,146 --> 00:49:45,273 Which Sunday is it, anyway? 690 00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:51,754 I know it won't work! 691 00:49:52,589 --> 00:49:55,888 I am all for having you shot! 692 00:49:59,396 --> 00:50:02,763 I insist on it from this holy place, you good - for - nothings, 693 00:50:02,866 --> 00:50:05,232 because you won't turn over a new leaf 694 00:50:05,502 --> 00:50:09,700 and you want to continue on the thorny road of a sinner! 695 00:50:12,909 --> 00:50:15,776 I ask you not to blow your nose here! 696 00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:18,413 We are not horses and neither are we in a stable! 697 00:50:18,615 --> 00:50:22,642 Sergeant, don't you notice anything? 698 00:50:23,487 --> 00:50:26,581 Remember, that you are soldiers 699 00:50:27,657 --> 00:50:30,217 and not blasted civilians! 700 00:50:31,561 --> 00:50:33,756 And that you must see 701 00:50:34,197 --> 00:50:37,098 through a dark cloud 702 00:50:37,567 --> 00:50:39,797 into the distant space! 703 00:50:41,271 --> 00:50:43,501 And know, that everything here 704 00:50:44,241 --> 00:50:46,209 lasts only 705 00:50:46,576 --> 00:50:48,009 for a short time. 706 00:50:48,412 --> 00:50:50,972 U es. Well... where did I stop? 707 00:50:52,682 --> 00:50:55,845 God is merciful, 708 00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:58,317 but only towards decent people, 709 00:50:58,422 --> 00:51:02,756 and not for a gang of rotters, who take no notice of God's laws 710 00:51:02,859 --> 00:51:04,884 and the army's regulations! 711 00:51:06,096 --> 00:51:08,087 U ou don't even know how to pray, 712 00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:11,365 and you think this some sort of a show 713 00:51:11,868 --> 00:51:13,358 or circus. 714 00:51:13,570 --> 00:51:15,731 Do you hear me, you down there in your underclothes? 715 00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:19,136 - Beg to report, Sir, we hear you! 716 00:51:19,443 --> 00:51:22,674 - Some day you'll remember me 717 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,913 and you'll know that I meant well! 718 00:51:31,121 --> 00:51:34,716 That man should serve you as an example! 719 00:51:34,925 --> 00:51:38,190 What is he doing? He's crying! 720 00:51:39,463 --> 00:51:40,987 Don't cry! 721 00:51:41,098 --> 00:51:42,565 I tell you, stop it! 722 00:51:42,732 --> 00:51:45,166 Do you want to become a better man? 723 00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:48,829 That's not such an easy job, my lad! 724 00:51:49,139 --> 00:51:51,869 U ou're crying now, but when you get back to your cell, 725 00:51:52,075 --> 00:51:55,442 you'll be just as big a louse as before! 726 00:51:56,379 --> 00:51:58,870 I've finished, you loafers, 727 00:51:59,015 --> 00:52:03,418 and I want you to behave properly during mass! 728 00:52:07,424 --> 00:52:09,085 And not like last time, 729 00:52:09,192 --> 00:52:12,286 when some of you fellows at the back were swapping government linen for grub! 730 00:52:13,763 --> 00:52:15,287 At ease! 731 00:53:10,754 --> 00:53:12,312 So here you are! 732 00:53:12,455 --> 00:53:14,889 That's the first time anyone has ever shed a tear 733 00:53:14,991 --> 00:53:16,458 in my church. 734 00:53:18,428 --> 00:53:20,157 Admit it, you blackguard, 735 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,991 that you've cried only for fun! 736 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,767 - I beg to report, Sir, that I was really scamming. 737 00:53:27,237 --> 00:53:32,072 I saw that what your sermon needed was the reformed sinner, 738 00:53:32,175 --> 00:53:33,733 so I tried to oblige. 739 00:53:34,077 --> 00:53:36,978 - I'm beginning to like you! 740 00:53:38,248 --> 00:53:39,681 What are you here for? 741 00:53:39,783 --> 00:53:42,308 - Beg to report, Sir, I really don't know. 742 00:53:42,986 --> 00:53:44,783 I always mean well 743 00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:47,254 and it turns out badly. 744 00:53:47,891 --> 00:53:50,223 Just like the martyr in that picture. 745 00:53:53,363 --> 00:53:55,058 - I will ask the provost about you! 746 00:53:55,599 --> 00:53:57,032 Dismissed! 747 00:54:02,405 --> 00:54:03,838 Schweik isn't here! 748 00:54:04,808 --> 00:54:06,332 What the hell is in those shelves? 749 00:54:06,509 --> 00:54:09,171 If at least you had a bottle in every drawer... 750 00:54:09,412 --> 00:54:11,004 We could drink them up in alphabetic order. 751 00:54:12,349 --> 00:54:15,147 - There's such a mess in those files, such a chaos. 752 00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:21,489 Hallo! Provost Lieutenant Bernis speaking! 753 00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:24,322 Captain, I should like to know whether you haven't got the file 754 00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,520 relating to a man called Schweik! 755 00:54:29,666 --> 00:54:31,133 I am supposed to have it? 756 00:54:32,569 --> 00:54:36,801 That's odd. Excuse me. 757 00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:42,011 It's beginning to interest me too, what's happening to this fellow Schweik! 758 00:54:42,412 --> 00:54:46,815 - Seek and ye shall find. God's mercy is endless. 759 00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:49,813 What about cards, do you play? 760 00:54:50,887 --> 00:54:52,377 - Well, I am out of luck lately! 761 00:54:53,657 --> 00:54:56,558 But I know a girl, I tell you, she is a sweet bit! 762 00:54:57,127 --> 00:54:58,560 - Hey, I need a batman! 763 00:54:59,963 --> 00:55:02,955 - Well, here you are, here's Schweik! And right on top of the file, too. 764 00:55:03,833 --> 00:55:06,233 I'm sorry, dear padre, this won't work. - What did he do? 765 00:55:06,336 --> 00:55:08,998 - That I don't know, but look! He's been executed. 766 00:55:09,706 --> 00:55:11,833 - Rubbish! I've just been talking to him. 767 00:55:12,409 --> 00:55:14,468 - And what is he here for? - He doesn't know himself. 768 00:55:14,944 --> 00:55:16,411 - That's what they all say! 769 00:55:17,013 --> 00:55:20,107 Richtig, richtig, somebody mixed up the files. 770 00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:22,641 But what shall we do now? - No, co...! 771 00:55:23,186 --> 00:55:25,450 Well, sentence someone else on Schweik's files. 772 00:55:26,656 --> 00:55:28,123 - That will be difficult. 773 00:55:30,026 --> 00:55:33,291 - That's a pity. Tomorrow, I'm having a party, 774 00:55:34,197 --> 00:55:37,530 there'll be drinks, and ladies too... U ou will come, won't you? 775 00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:45,170 - Well, since it's you, dear padre, you can have him! 776 00:56:59,149 --> 00:57:00,480 - Who do you keep greeting all the time? 777 00:57:00,950 --> 00:57:02,417 - All these people are acquaintances of mine. 778 00:57:02,552 --> 00:57:04,179 - Oh, you don't say? Are you from Prague? 779 00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:06,389 - From Prague, yes. - U ou won't give us the slip? 780 00:57:06,589 --> 00:57:07,991 - Of course he'd run away at the first chance! 781 00:57:07,991 --> 00:57:10,459 - Why should he? He's practically free now! 782 00:57:11,060 --> 00:57:12,493 I have it here, in my pocket. 783 00:57:13,096 --> 00:57:15,257 - And what do you have in your pocket? - Well, I don't quite know. 784 00:57:15,365 --> 00:57:16,798 - U ou see! U ou don't even know and yet you're talking! 785 00:57:18,835 --> 00:57:20,803 - Don't you know why we are taking you to the Army Chaplain? 786 00:57:21,404 --> 00:57:22,837 - For confession. 787 00:57:23,206 --> 00:57:25,674 - What, for confession? - U es, they'll hang me tomorrow. 788 00:57:27,377 --> 00:57:29,607 - Hang? - That's how it's done. 789 00:57:30,980 --> 00:57:33,540 They call it spiritual comfort. 790 00:57:34,884 --> 00:57:38,411 - Oh well, come along! 791 00:58:05,348 --> 00:58:06,781 Halt! 792 00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:10,513 Nur fur Militar! Bis jetzt. 793 00:58:15,658 --> 00:58:19,059 - How about taking those bayonets off? After all, he's one of us! 794 00:58:19,262 --> 00:58:20,729 - But how? 795 00:58:23,933 --> 00:58:26,595 Halt! - Are you crazy? 796 00:58:26,703 --> 00:58:30,662 - Look here, you know this place. Do you know of a pub handy? 797 00:58:31,207 --> 00:58:33,471 - Why not? Just round the corner from here. 798 00:58:34,244 --> 00:58:36,576 There's even music, a fiddle, an accordion... 799 00:58:37,213 --> 00:58:38,646 U ou can leave your rifles in the kitchen. 800 00:58:40,450 --> 00:58:41,474 - What is it? 801 00:58:41,618 --> 00:58:43,085 - Do you remember the arrangements we made? 802 00:58:43,253 --> 00:58:45,619 Do you know...? Understand? 803 00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:47,489 - Oh, of course! 804 00:58:49,058 --> 00:58:50,491 Is it a safe place? 805 00:58:51,127 --> 00:58:54,756 - Very, only tarts go there and similar decent people! 806 00:58:57,166 --> 00:58:58,599 - Let's go! 807 00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:00,992 On Pankrac hill, 808 00:59:01,337 --> 00:59:02,964 right on the top of it, 809 00:59:03,072 --> 00:59:07,133 trees are planted. 810 00:59:07,977 --> 00:59:09,569 On Pankrac hill, 811 00:59:09,812 --> 00:59:11,541 right on the top of it, 812 00:59:11,614 --> 00:59:15,516 trees are planted. 813 00:59:16,319 --> 00:59:19,652 I had a girl friend, 814 00:59:19,856 --> 00:59:23,087 now someone else has got her! 815 00:59:23,993 --> 00:59:27,190 I had a girl friend, 816 00:59:27,497 --> 00:59:30,762 now someone else has got her! 817 00:59:33,169 --> 00:59:36,570 - Schweik, come here! Where did they dress you up like this? 818 00:59:40,143 --> 00:59:42,703 - Schweik, you ought to have a photo taken! 819 00:59:46,983 --> 00:59:49,008 - Christ, it's Schweik! 820 00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:55,823 - Good day to you, gentlemen! 821 00:59:56,526 --> 00:59:59,188 Oh..., it's Mr. Schweik! A coffee, please. 822 00:59:59,462 --> 01:00:03,523 A coffee for everybody, please. Right. Thank you. 823 01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:08,037 - Cheers! 824 01:00:08,137 --> 01:00:10,867 U our health! U ou know, after all, we shouldn't drink to you health... 825 01:00:13,810 --> 01:00:15,778 - Tell us, why are they going to string you up? 826 01:00:17,146 --> 01:00:19,410 - Perhaps he was born on an unlucky planet. 827 01:00:19,682 --> 01:00:21,513 - But they won't hang somebody for nothing! 828 01:00:21,985 --> 01:00:24,283 There has to be a reason for it! 829 01:00:24,687 --> 01:00:27,247 So that the... is reasonable! 830 01:00:27,690 --> 01:00:29,157 - It's not like that in war. 831 01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:33,023 U ou're supposed to fall at the front, or be executed at home... 832 01:00:33,930 --> 01:00:35,591 What difference does it make? 833 01:00:36,299 --> 01:00:38,096 - Aren't you a little bit political? 834 01:00:39,202 --> 01:00:41,170 - Too much! - Let's knock it on the head! 835 01:00:41,771 --> 01:00:43,329 - If you were smart boys, you'd buy us a drink! 836 01:00:43,606 --> 01:00:45,198 - Of course, ladies! Why not? 837 01:00:45,775 --> 01:00:48,266 Waiter, come here! Ferda, vermouth! 838 01:00:48,978 --> 01:00:50,741 ... by a little window 839 01:00:50,847 --> 01:00:52,872 sits a beautiful blonde. 840 01:00:53,016 --> 01:00:55,883 Sits a beautiful blonde. 841 01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,917 By a little window 842 01:00:59,055 --> 01:01:00,955 sits a beautiful blonde. 843 01:01:01,090 --> 01:01:03,923 Sits a beautiful blonde. 844 01:01:05,194 --> 01:01:08,288 Come closer soldier boy, 845 01:01:09,132 --> 01:01:12,397 you"re not afraid of a girl?! 846 01:01:13,169 --> 01:01:15,000 I touched the handle, 847 01:01:15,104 --> 01:01:17,004 and I heard music. 848 01:01:17,106 --> 01:01:20,007 And I heard music. 849 01:01:21,144 --> 01:01:23,009 I touched the handle, 850 01:01:23,146 --> 01:01:25,011 And I heard music. 851 01:01:25,081 --> 01:01:28,141 And I heard music. 852 01:01:28,918 --> 01:01:32,376 My dear Kamila... 853 01:01:34,891 --> 01:01:39,157 - Madam, that Vermouth is like water! 854 01:01:39,262 --> 01:01:44,029 Send us a bottle of something decent. That gent's going to pay for it all! 855 01:01:44,233 --> 01:01:45,666 - In a moment! In a moment! 856 01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:48,826 - I've a small farm in Holovousy. 857 01:01:49,472 --> 01:01:52,908 There's lovely apples in my garden. 858 01:01:53,810 --> 01:01:58,645 When I get my Urlaub, I'll bring you half a ton. 859 01:01:58,981 --> 01:02:01,711 - And what have you got in your pocket? - That? That's a state secret! 860 01:02:01,984 --> 01:02:04,350 - Here you are, ladies and gents! - The Devil's Liquor! 861 01:02:06,989 --> 01:02:09,822 - You"re my sweetie-pie, sweetie-pie. 862 01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:14,288 You"re my, You"re my 863 01:02:14,564 --> 01:02:17,465 sweetie-pie. 864 01:02:18,134 --> 01:02:21,035 You"re my, you"re... - Come outside with me! 865 01:02:21,504 --> 01:02:23,199 For a fiver, I'll give you a nice injection, petrol, you know, 866 01:02:23,973 --> 01:02:25,600 and you're sure to be in hospital for at least 3 months! 867 01:02:26,142 --> 01:02:29,703 - Don't be scared! That man's a medic. Nobody will be the wiser 868 01:02:29,812 --> 01:02:31,643 and you'll be nice and safe for a long time! 869 01:02:34,517 --> 01:02:35,950 - Hahaha. A medic...! Hahaha. 870 01:02:41,057 --> 01:02:43,321 - Ouch! 871 01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:11,086 - Hip, hip, hip, hip! 872 01:03:12,588 --> 01:03:14,055 Hip, hip, hip, hip! 873 01:03:15,591 --> 01:03:17,058 Hip, hip! 874 01:03:43,986 --> 01:03:48,923 - Come to me, those who have wine! As I'm thirsty! 875 01:03:51,294 --> 01:03:54,195 - Come here, my little muff! 876 01:04:00,369 --> 01:04:01,802 - Oh, well! 877 01:04:12,248 --> 01:04:13,875 So you're here, Schweik, are you? 878 01:04:14,083 --> 01:04:15,607 - Beg to report, Sir. A package! 879 01:04:16,786 --> 01:04:19,277 - I say, got a match? - Beg to report, Sir, I haven't. 880 01:04:19,689 --> 01:04:23,147 - I say, why not? Every soldier ought to have matches 881 01:04:23,326 --> 01:04:26,159 to light up with. A soldier without matches is... 882 01:04:27,263 --> 01:04:29,288 What is he? - Beg to report, Sir, he's matchless. 883 01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:34,401 - Obviously, very good. He's without matches 884 01:04:35,438 --> 01:04:36,928 and can't give anybody a light. 885 01:04:37,039 --> 01:04:38,529 That's it. 886 01:04:39,642 --> 01:04:41,132 Do you drink liquor, Schweik? 887 01:04:41,210 --> 01:04:42,643 - No liquor for me, Sir, only rum. 888 01:04:43,579 --> 01:04:45,274 - Just take a look at that big lout over there! Come here! 889 01:04:46,415 --> 01:04:48,610 I borrowed him today from Lieutenant Feldhuber. 890 01:04:48,818 --> 01:04:50,376 He's a... He's a teetotaler! 891 01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:52,410 Aren't you ashamed of yourself, you bloody fool? 892 01:04:52,488 --> 01:04:53,921 Do you know what you deserve? A punch in the jaw...! 893 01:04:58,661 --> 01:05:00,094 So you're drunk! 894 01:05:02,164 --> 01:05:03,722 U ou're drunk while on duty 895 01:05:04,433 --> 01:05:05,900 and you'll be punished for it! I'll have you arrested! 896 01:05:06,636 --> 01:05:08,900 Right now, I'm going to phone for the MPs. 897 01:05:17,613 --> 01:05:21,310 Hallo! Hallo! What are you doing at that switchboard? 898 01:05:21,684 --> 01:05:26,348 Let me have the K. And K. Korpskommando immediately! 899 01:05:26,889 --> 01:05:29,983 What? What do you say? I don't understand a single word! 900 01:05:32,061 --> 01:05:34,154 - Don't be a fool now! 901 01:05:35,464 --> 01:05:36,954 It was us escorting you, wasn't it? 902 01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:40,325 - Well, my dears, as Napoleon used to say: 903 01:05:40,436 --> 01:05:42,836 "In war, the situation changes from one moment to another..." 904 01:05:43,339 --> 01:05:44,772 - I could do with a drink! 905 01:05:46,342 --> 01:05:48,435 - I can't get through to the barracks. 906 01:05:50,212 --> 01:05:52,407 So, go home, the two of you! Run away! And remember, 907 01:05:52,481 --> 01:05:55,848 mustn't booze while on duty! Out with you! 908 01:06:42,498 --> 01:06:43,931 - Sir! 909 01:06:47,603 --> 01:06:49,798 - Madam, I'm sure it can't be Christmas already? 910 01:06:56,645 --> 01:06:58,135 I want some more Eau de Cologne! 911 01:07:01,450 --> 01:07:04,647 - Sir! Here's some black coffee. 912 01:07:16,766 --> 01:07:19,428 - Listen... you... - Schweik! 913 01:07:19,502 --> 01:07:21,732 - Schweik. - Schweik, tell me, 914 01:07:22,571 --> 01:07:25,870 didn't I misbehave yesterday? 915 01:07:26,275 --> 01:07:28,436 - Beg to report, Sir, everything went smoothly. 916 01:07:29,111 --> 01:07:30,976 Only when I was letting the ladies out of the house, 917 01:07:31,747 --> 01:07:36,207 a gent, looking like a Turk with a Fez on his head, 918 01:07:36,485 --> 01:07:37,975 came out of the door opposite ours and tried to cause a disturbance. 919 01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:40,045 - And what was the result? - I gave him a punch on the jaw 920 01:07:40,122 --> 01:07:41,817 and he calmed down. - U ou shouldn't have done it! 921 01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:43,950 That was the Landlord... - Well, now he knows 922 01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:47,052 that owning a house is no fun! 923 01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:50,397 It couldn't happen to us! We don't own a house. 924 01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:52,796 - There you're right. 925 01:07:53,369 --> 01:07:54,802 All we own is... 926 01:08:00,009 --> 01:08:02,910 Schweik, all we own is... 927 01:08:03,979 --> 01:08:05,469 ...36 pennies. 928 01:08:07,716 --> 01:08:09,809 I wish I was employed at the Quartermaster's Store, 929 01:08:10,753 --> 01:08:14,655 there I could at least pinch a barrel of rum or some lard. 930 01:08:14,990 --> 01:08:16,457 But what shall we do? 931 01:08:17,393 --> 01:08:18,883 What about selling the sofa? 932 01:08:19,295 --> 01:08:21,490 - We wouldn't get much for that one. - U ou think so? 933 01:08:22,264 --> 01:08:25,791 Let's keep it then! It belongs to the Landlord anyway. 934 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,733 I know what we'll do, Schweik. I'll give you three addresses 935 01:08:28,804 --> 01:08:31,466 to go to and borrow money. U ou'll go to Bruska street... 936 01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:34,239 ...to Captain Schnabel's and ask him 937 01:08:34,410 --> 01:08:35,843 to lend me a hundred crowns. 938 01:08:35,945 --> 01:08:37,503 He was lucky at cards two days ago so what. 939 01:08:37,746 --> 01:08:40,579 And in case you're not successful there, you'll go to the Vrsovice barracks 940 01:08:40,749 --> 01:08:42,808 and ask for Lieutenant Mahler. 941 01:08:43,752 --> 01:08:45,913 - The chaplain isn't at home! - So he isn't in...? 942 01:08:46,055 --> 01:08:47,522 - I told you already, that he isn't in! 943 01:08:47,623 --> 01:08:49,557 - So he went to the coffee house...? - U ou'd have to 944 01:08:49,658 --> 01:08:51,751 wait somewhere! - So I'd have to wait? 945 01:08:51,861 --> 01:08:54,489 Well, all right, I'll wait. 946 01:08:54,864 --> 01:08:56,331 Till tomorrow morning, if necessary. 947 01:08:58,300 --> 01:08:59,733 Fine thing, he's got money for the coffee house, 948 01:08:59,802 --> 01:09:01,702 but no money to pay his debts with! 949 01:09:10,713 --> 01:09:13,341 A fine Chaplain, pfui! 950 01:09:13,916 --> 01:09:15,383 - Sir, I ask you not to spit here! 951 01:09:15,584 --> 01:09:17,518 - And I'll spit once more, if I feel like it! 952 01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:20,718 Like this. Do you see? 953 01:09:21,423 --> 01:09:24,654 - If you're an educated man, behave yourself 954 01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:26,860 and don't act like a vagabond! 955 01:09:27,296 --> 01:09:28,957 - So I don't behave decently? 956 01:09:29,365 --> 01:09:31,731 And what do I behave like, tell me! Just you tell me, you... 957 01:09:31,867 --> 01:09:33,391 - A hooligan, that's what you are! Spitting on the floor 958 01:09:33,502 --> 01:09:35,493 just like in a train. I was wondering all the time, 959 01:09:35,571 --> 01:09:38,836 why there are notices everywhere, about not spitting on the floor! 960 01:09:39,108 --> 01:09:40,973 Now I know, it's because of you, 961 01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:43,509 you must be a very well known person! 962 01:09:43,746 --> 01:09:45,373 - U ou dirty creature! U ou... 963 01:09:46,048 --> 01:09:48,573 Let go of me! I am an honorable citizen! 964 01:09:48,684 --> 01:09:50,481 Let go of me! Let go of me! 965 01:10:40,436 --> 01:10:42,028 - Are you crazy? 966 01:10:42,371 --> 01:10:45,272 - Beg to report, Sir, that I took care of everything, just like you told me to. 967 01:10:46,342 --> 01:10:48,037 Supper is served in the drawing room. 968 01:10:48,577 --> 01:10:50,010 I shall now go and fry some eggs. 969 01:10:51,447 --> 01:10:52,880 - On bacon, too! 970 01:10:58,954 --> 01:11:01,616 Who was it that lent us money? - Beg to report, Sir, all of them. 971 01:11:01,690 --> 01:11:04,420 I only had to crawl on my knees in front of Captain Schnabel. 972 01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:06,686 That one is a right bastard. 973 01:11:07,096 --> 01:11:09,155 But when I told him about your paternity case... 974 01:11:09,999 --> 01:11:11,489 - Paternity case? 975 01:11:11,567 --> 01:11:13,967 - Of course, alimony, you know, paying a girl so much every week. 976 01:11:15,204 --> 01:11:17,365 U ou told me to spin any yarn I pleased, so... 977 01:11:18,340 --> 01:11:19,773 - And what did Captain Schnabel say? 978 01:11:19,942 --> 01:11:21,500 - There were about five gentlemen present, 979 01:11:21,610 --> 01:11:23,271 and they all asked me what sort of a girl it was, 980 01:11:24,179 --> 01:11:27,740 so I told them she was a very smart little bit, not quite fifteen yet. 981 01:11:28,417 --> 01:11:29,850 Then they all wanted to have her address. 982 01:11:30,185 --> 01:11:31,709 - U ou've made a nice mess of it, I must say! 983 01:11:31,854 --> 01:11:35,290 - Don't you worry, Chaplain, I gave them the address of a deaf lady 984 01:11:35,424 --> 01:11:37,984 down our street. 985 01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:46,033 I told you already that he isn't in! 986 01:11:46,201 --> 01:11:48,192 - Don't lie to me, he's just returned! 987 01:11:48,470 --> 01:11:51,598 - He's returned all right, but he isn't at home to anybody! 988 01:11:51,674 --> 01:11:54,507 - That's no concern of mine! - He's preparing tomorrow's sermon! 989 01:11:54,610 --> 01:11:57,078 - Leave me alone, man! Leave me alone! 990 01:11:57,780 --> 01:11:59,543 Chaplain, I have to protest! 991 01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:03,949 I'm not used to that sort of treatment! - My batman is certainly not right! 992 01:12:04,486 --> 01:12:05,919 A guest in the house means God in the house! 993 01:12:06,889 --> 01:12:09,414 - Beg to report, Sir, that bloke is very difficult to dispose of, 994 01:12:09,658 --> 01:12:11,285 just like a certain Bouska from Liben. 995 01:12:11,427 --> 01:12:13,918 They once kicked him out of Exeter's eighteen times 996 01:12:14,063 --> 01:12:17,191 and he always returned saying that he'd left his pipe behind. 997 01:12:17,299 --> 01:12:18,926 - U ou're joking! - He was that persevering, 998 01:12:19,902 --> 01:12:21,369 he could have become a cabinet minister. 999 01:12:21,437 --> 01:12:22,961 - I hope that I'm not here to be made fun of! 1000 01:12:24,940 --> 01:12:26,771 - Take a chair, please! - Thank you. 1001 01:12:29,411 --> 01:12:33,404 - We are having Hungarian salami, sardines, salmon, 1002 01:12:34,016 --> 01:12:35,677 and some fried eggs. 1003 01:12:37,386 --> 01:12:40,549 Isn't it nice to have a rest on borrowed money! 1004 01:12:41,423 --> 01:12:44,415 - I insist that you listen to what I have to say! 1005 01:12:44,660 --> 01:12:46,218 - I hope I'm right in assuming that you came to get money 1006 01:12:46,428 --> 01:12:48,760 for the check I gave you? 1007 01:12:48,997 --> 01:12:53,957 - U es, Chaplain, and I hope, that I won't have to leave without it! 1008 01:12:57,406 --> 01:12:59,033 - What are you doing? - Beg to report, Sir, 1009 01:12:59,141 --> 01:13:01,439 that I already had some difficulties with this gentleman. 1010 01:13:01,777 --> 01:13:04,405 - Leave us, Schweik! We have a private matter to discuss! 1011 01:13:04,947 --> 01:13:06,812 - Beg to report, Sir, I am leaving you! 1012 01:13:10,219 --> 01:13:12,084 - Listen, Chaplain, if there was no vow. I wouldn't press you. 1013 01:13:12,421 --> 01:13:14,480 But I had a number of very sad experiences! 1014 01:13:15,624 --> 01:13:19,185 Take the case of Lieutenant Janota, 1015 01:13:19,995 --> 01:13:22,930 who owed me 700 crowns and got himself killed at Dryne. 1016 01:13:24,767 --> 01:13:28,931 Lieutenant Prasek, 2000 crowns, taken prisoner by the Russians. 1017 01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:33,396 Captain Wichterle, Lieutenant Machek, both imprisoned by the Serbians, 1018 01:13:33,876 --> 01:13:37,312 each of them owing me 1500 crowns! 1019 01:13:38,180 --> 01:13:39,613 U ou must understand my anxiety... 1020 01:13:39,982 --> 01:13:41,449 - But, Mister I am not... 1021 01:13:41,517 --> 01:13:42,950 - I know what you're going to say, Chaplain! 1022 01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:44,677 That a priest is in no direct danger... 1023 01:13:46,422 --> 01:13:50,688 But listen! Army Chaplain Mathis died a week ago at Brno! 1024 01:13:53,962 --> 01:13:55,520 He failed to pay me 1800 crowns 1025 01:13:55,597 --> 01:13:57,997 and went to supply last rites to a chap, 1026 01:13:58,133 --> 01:13:59,862 who had the plague and who was no concern of his anyway! 1027 01:14:00,269 --> 01:14:02,601 - That's his duty. I'm going to do the same thing tomorrow. 1028 01:14:02,704 --> 01:14:04,467 - And he's also going into the plague hospital! 1029 01:14:04,907 --> 01:14:07,603 - Tell me, Chaplain, is this war only on 1030 01:14:07,910 --> 01:14:10,435 to finish off all my debtors? 1031 01:14:11,547 --> 01:14:13,447 - Schweik, I'm beginning to get bored. 1032 01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:15,716 Tell him in a gentle way: 1033 01:14:15,818 --> 01:14:18,412 "The Chaplain is not going to give you any money! 1034 01:14:18,654 --> 01:14:20,645 - I'm not going to budge till I get it! 1035 01:14:21,256 --> 01:14:22,746 - If that's the case, Schweik, 1036 01:14:23,592 --> 01:14:24,923 dispose of him in any way that pleases you! 1037 01:14:25,093 --> 01:14:27,357 - I'm not going, it's a shame, you've tricked me! 1038 01:14:27,496 --> 01:14:29,191 - Make no noise, you hoodlum! 1039 01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:31,761 The Chaplain has to study! - I know he's trying to figure out 1040 01:14:31,867 --> 01:14:33,835 how to cheat honest people out of their money! 1041 01:14:33,936 --> 01:14:35,961 U ou cheeky lout! U ou've ruined me! 1042 01:15:07,569 --> 01:15:10,129 Wiener Blot... tralala... 1043 01:15:10,272 --> 01:15:14,231 Wiener Blot... tralala... ... tralalala... 1044 01:15:19,014 --> 01:15:21,312 - God, I'm grateful we've found the place. 1045 01:15:21,850 --> 01:15:23,442 I'd been driving him around for two hours 1046 01:15:23,552 --> 01:15:25,076 before I managed to squeeze an address out of him. 1047 01:15:25,854 --> 01:15:27,481 He's been sick all over my cab 1048 01:15:27,923 --> 01:15:29,584 and now I can't get any money out of him! 1049 01:15:30,792 --> 01:15:33,852 - Chaplain...! - Stop! I have to drive on! 1050 01:15:34,129 --> 01:15:36,620 I'm changing at Nymburk! - Help me! 1051 01:15:43,438 --> 01:15:45,372 - Gentlemen, I'm not going to have a steam bath! 1052 01:15:46,575 --> 01:15:48,042 - Of course not - come here! 1053 01:15:54,383 --> 01:15:57,079 Give it to me! No more booze! 1054 01:15:58,921 --> 01:16:00,388 - Take those skates off! 1055 01:16:02,991 --> 01:16:05,551 - Chaplain...! 1056 01:16:05,661 --> 01:16:09,062 It's me, Schweik! 1057 01:16:09,131 --> 01:16:11,099 We have to pay for the cab. 1058 01:16:11,166 --> 01:16:12,895 - Do you believe in immortality? 1059 01:16:13,335 --> 01:16:15,895 Tell me one thing! Can a horse get into heaven? 1060 01:16:15,971 --> 01:16:19,134 - Be quick about paying for the fare! I've other parties to take care of! 1061 01:16:19,508 --> 01:16:21,840 - Chaplain, he wants money! 1062 01:16:33,055 --> 01:16:34,488 - Here, take the lot! Ich kann bezahlen! 1063 01:16:36,325 --> 01:16:37,758 A penny more or less doesn't matter to me! 1064 01:16:37,859 --> 01:16:40,589 - Hergott! 1065 01:16:40,696 --> 01:16:42,926 - Wait! We've got to search him. 1066 01:16:43,765 --> 01:16:45,756 - Of course! All those, who are dead, 1067 01:16:45,901 --> 01:16:48,768 report to the Korpskommando within three days, 1068 01:16:49,104 --> 01:16:50,628 to get a Christian burial! 1069 01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:53,601 Lady don't tickle me! 1070 01:16:58,213 --> 01:17:00,443 - That's not enough! I took him round the town 1071 01:17:00,549 --> 01:17:02,107 three times! 1072 01:17:02,184 --> 01:17:04,846 - We've got no more. - A fine business...! Pfui! 1073 01:17:15,931 --> 01:17:17,421 - The fire won't burn! 1074 01:17:17,499 --> 01:17:19,763 Somebody must be blowing on it! 1075 01:17:22,070 --> 01:17:23,935 I want something, but I don't know what. 1076 01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:26,801 I don't know what! Don't you know what I want? 1077 01:17:27,776 --> 01:17:31,075 But I couldn't care less, and neither could you, Schweik! 1078 01:17:31,179 --> 01:17:32,669 - Sit down! 1079 01:17:33,348 --> 01:17:36,215 - Oh, I'm so alone, in the world! 1080 01:17:37,619 --> 01:17:40,281 People, Schweik, I've got to tell you something. 1081 01:17:40,522 --> 01:17:41,489 I've got a confession to make. 1082 01:17:41,590 --> 01:17:42,852 I, a repentant sinner, confess and admit. 1083 01:17:42,924 --> 01:17:44,482 - Don't lie on the floor! - I have to confess to you! 1084 01:17:44,593 --> 01:17:46,686 - Chaplain... will you lie down! 1085 01:17:48,263 --> 01:17:49,696 - I have to... 1086 01:17:59,808 --> 01:18:03,175 Ladies, I have a lovely joke for you! 1087 01:18:04,279 --> 01:18:06,076 There was once a drummer living in Budejovice, 1088 01:18:06,815 --> 01:18:09,147 he got married and died within a year! 1089 01:18:10,419 --> 01:18:12,148 Isn't it lovely? 1090 01:18:25,434 --> 01:18:29,165 Madam, what a sweet boy you've got! 1091 01:18:29,905 --> 01:18:32,772 Look, what uncle has brought you! Right. Look! 1092 01:18:33,442 --> 01:18:35,376 Boodlicky! Boodlicky, boodlicky, 1093 01:18:35,444 --> 01:18:36,877 boodlicky, boodlicky... 1094 01:18:37,746 --> 01:18:39,509 I want a Cognac! Where is it? 1095 01:18:47,856 --> 01:18:49,414 Come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! 1096 01:18:52,260 --> 01:18:56,788 Come here! Come here! Come here! 1097 01:19:01,536 --> 01:19:03,128 - Come on, lie down quietly, 1098 01:19:04,172 --> 01:19:07,107 Come on! Or I'll have to hit you one! 1099 01:19:07,476 --> 01:19:10,206 - U ou're such a good boy. I'll have to marry you off to my sister. 1100 01:19:14,950 --> 01:19:18,283 - Hello! Chaplain, do you hear me? 1101 01:19:19,354 --> 01:19:23,051 - Is that you, Schweik? What am I doing here? 1102 01:19:23,625 --> 01:19:26,685 - It seems you're suffering from a slight attack of the DTs. 1103 01:19:28,830 --> 01:19:33,028 - U esterday, I lost all my money. 1104 01:19:33,802 --> 01:19:35,292 Even you, Schweik. 1105 01:19:35,804 --> 01:19:38,637 I lost you at cards. 1106 01:19:39,541 --> 01:19:43,500 I've thrown you into the clutches of Lieutenant Lukas! 1107 01:19:43,645 --> 01:19:45,135 - Well, that's not the end of the world! 1108 01:19:45,213 --> 01:19:46,646 In a few days time, we'll get money somehow... 1109 01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:49,114 - Oh no, it's impossible! Quite impossible, Schweik! 1110 01:19:49,351 --> 01:19:51,512 U ou know, debts at cards... 1111 01:19:51,686 --> 01:19:54,416 ...debts at cards are debts of honor. 1112 01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:56,348 And I am an officer! 1113 01:19:57,092 --> 01:20:00,926 Habacht! Abtreten! 1114 01:20:04,733 --> 01:20:07,327 Jesus Christ! - "When I was serving you 1115 01:20:07,402 --> 01:20:08,835 for the first year. 1116 01:20:10,305 --> 01:20:15,242 - Tralala lalala... 1117 01:20:35,697 --> 01:20:37,426 - Beg to report, Sir, that I'm here. 1118 01:20:38,033 --> 01:20:39,523 - Hm. 1119 01:20:41,570 --> 01:20:45,062 Turn round! 1120 01:20:45,473 --> 01:20:46,906 - Some more, Sir? - Halt! 1121 01:20:47,309 --> 01:20:52,269 Well, finally you look almost like a soldier! 1122 01:20:53,014 --> 01:20:56,472 Did they even supply you with a coat? - Beg to report, Sir, even with a coat. 1123 01:20:57,452 --> 01:20:58,885 - I give you a fair warning, I'm very strict! 1124 01:20:59,721 --> 01:21:01,712 Tell me, do you know what a batman is supposed to do? 1125 01:21:02,224 --> 01:21:04,249 - A batman is an officer's servant, boot - polish and pipe - cleaner. 1126 01:21:05,527 --> 01:21:07,688 - If I say: "Jump into the fire!", 1127 01:21:08,263 --> 01:21:10,823 why, into the fire you've got to jump, whether you like it or not. 1128 01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:13,167 What are you staring at? 1129 01:21:13,435 --> 01:21:17,166 - Beg to report, Sir, that's a Harz canary. 1130 01:21:18,106 --> 01:21:20,870 - Are you fond of animals? 1131 01:21:21,042 --> 01:21:22,634 - It's dogs I fancy most, Sir. 1132 01:21:22,978 --> 01:21:25,469 If you'd like me to... - I am fond of dogs too - 1133 01:21:25,747 --> 01:21:27,214 as companions. 1134 01:21:27,782 --> 01:21:30,444 I used to have a stable dog once. 1135 01:21:30,986 --> 01:21:33,079 - Stable dogs are the best, Sir. 1136 01:21:33,488 --> 01:21:36,286 A stable dog is not to everybody's liking, he's got such hard whiskers 1137 01:21:36,358 --> 01:21:38,417 and looks like a released prisoner, 1138 01:21:38,660 --> 01:21:42,562 but he's so ugly he's almost beautiful. 1139 01:21:43,231 --> 01:21:45,825 - Hm. Well, when you get the chance, 1140 01:21:46,368 --> 01:21:48,233 bring me a dog. 1141 01:21:48,803 --> 01:21:50,293 Hand me my sword now! 1142 01:21:51,473 --> 01:21:53,998 And remember: I love everything clean 1143 01:21:54,309 --> 01:21:56,300 and tidy! And I can't stand lies. 1144 01:21:56,778 --> 01:21:59,144 I love honesty and I hate lies. 1145 01:21:59,614 --> 01:22:01,241 Lies I punish without mercy, is that understood? 1146 01:22:02,217 --> 01:22:04,014 - Beg to report, Sir, quite. 1147 01:22:04,252 --> 01:22:06,914 There's nothing worse than a liar. 1148 01:22:07,889 --> 01:22:09,083 - Oh, well. 1149 01:22:09,257 --> 01:22:10,918 - And as far as honesty is concerned, Sir, 1150 01:22:11,259 --> 01:22:15,753 there's nothing nicer, because with honesty you get places. 1151 01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:17,796 Take for instance a walking contest. 1152 01:22:18,199 --> 01:22:20,167 As soon as you start doing tricks and running, 1153 01:22:20,702 --> 01:22:22,169 you're disqualified. 1154 01:22:22,370 --> 01:22:24,304 That happened to a cousin of mine. 1155 01:22:25,140 --> 01:22:28,632 A honest man is respected everywhere, 1156 01:22:29,077 --> 01:22:32,740 he's satisfied with himself and he feels like a new born babe, 1157 01:22:32,847 --> 01:22:34,747 when he goes to bed and can say: 1158 01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:38,381 "Well, I've been honest again today." 1159 01:22:39,888 --> 01:22:41,913 - The Chaplain recommended you to me 1160 01:22:42,490 --> 01:22:45,482 as a champion idiot. And I'm inclined to think that he wasn't far wrong. 1161 01:22:45,827 --> 01:22:48,762 - Beg to report, Sir, I was discharged from doing my regular service, 1162 01:22:48,830 --> 01:22:50,388 for being feeble minded. There were two of us discharged 1163 01:22:50,532 --> 01:22:52,796 for the same reason at the time - 1164 01:22:52,934 --> 01:22:56,199 me and a captain von Kaunitz. 1165 01:22:58,039 --> 01:23:00,940 - Hm. Er... what did I want? 1166 01:23:01,242 --> 01:23:02,675 Now, Schweik, comes the main thing! 1167 01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,075 Sometimes, ladies come to see me. One or the other 1168 01:23:05,714 --> 01:23:07,614 may stay all night. 1169 01:23:08,016 --> 01:23:10,348 In a case like that, you'll bring coffee for two into the bedroom, 1170 01:23:10,452 --> 01:23:15,048 but be sure not to enter till I ring! 1171 01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:19,551 Do you hear me? - Beg to report, Sir, 1172 01:23:19,661 --> 01:23:21,822 I know what it means to come at the wrong time. 1173 01:23:22,731 --> 01:23:24,358 Once, I took a young woman home with me, 1174 01:23:24,599 --> 01:23:26,533 and just as we were getting on fine together, 1175 01:23:26,968 --> 01:23:29,334 my charwomen brought me the coffee. 1176 01:23:29,504 --> 01:23:33,406 She had quite a fright, poured all the hot coffee down my back 1177 01:23:33,742 --> 01:23:35,869 and said "Good morning" on top of it. 1178 01:23:35,977 --> 01:23:37,945 - I'm on duty today. I shan't be home till late. 1179 01:23:38,146 --> 01:23:39,545 Tidy the place up a bit. 1180 01:23:40,081 --> 01:23:42,276 The last orderly was not good at all 1181 01:23:42,384 --> 01:23:44,147 and he's leaving today with a draft for the front! 1182 01:23:44,486 --> 01:23:46,477 And don't let anyone into the apartment! 1183 01:23:49,524 --> 01:23:53,551 - Oak leaf, 1184 01:23:54,562 --> 01:23:58,692 don"t fall into the river! 1185 01:23:59,768 --> 01:24:03,932 Oak leaf, 1186 01:24:04,806 --> 01:24:08,799 don"t fall into the river! 1187 01:24:09,778 --> 01:24:12,770 The water would carry you away 1188 01:24:12,947 --> 01:24:15,609 and that would make me sad. 1189 01:24:15,683 --> 01:24:19,312 Oak leaf. 1190 01:25:03,832 --> 01:25:05,493 - Are you the Lieutenant's Batman? 1191 01:25:05,567 --> 01:25:07,057 - That I am! - Well, why don't you open up? 1192 01:25:07,135 --> 01:25:09,000 Why do you leave me to kick my feet outside? 1193 01:25:09,137 --> 01:25:10,798 - I didn't... ...Hear the bell! I know. 1194 01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:13,438 Don't lie to me! U ou know very well that I rang the bell! 1195 01:25:13,908 --> 01:25:15,569 Take those suitcases inside! 1196 01:25:15,777 --> 01:25:18,177 - I can't do that without the Lieutenant's permission! 1197 01:25:18,646 --> 01:25:22,582 - Do as I told you. Take those! 1198 01:25:22,650 --> 01:25:25,050 - Lady, the only order I got was to get a stable dog. 1199 01:25:25,220 --> 01:25:28,246 I know nothing whatever about your suitcases! 1200 01:25:28,590 --> 01:25:30,922 - So you won't take my cases in? 1201 01:25:31,326 --> 01:25:32,452 - As I've told you. 1202 01:25:32,594 --> 01:25:35,927 Till I get an army order, I don't know my own brother! 1203 01:25:36,898 --> 01:25:38,957 Now, I'm going to lock up and of course I can't leave a stranger 1204 01:25:39,067 --> 01:25:40,557 in the apartment. 1205 01:25:41,436 --> 01:25:42,869 So please... - Ha ha! 1206 01:25:43,204 --> 01:25:44,637 U ou must be crazy! 1207 01:25:46,040 --> 01:25:48,565 I've come to visit... 1208 01:25:49,377 --> 01:25:51,641 ...the Lieutenant. - That's an old one! 1209 01:25:52,413 --> 01:25:54,540 In our street, someone came to visit 1210 01:25:54,682 --> 01:25:57,583 Belicsky, the confectioner, 1211 01:25:58,086 --> 01:26:00,020 once in his absence, 1212 01:26:00,088 --> 01:26:02,648 opened all the wardrobes and ran away with the contents. 1213 01:26:02,991 --> 01:26:04,481 - For the last time - 1214 01:26:04,592 --> 01:26:07,186 take those cases in! - Excuse me, Madam! 1215 01:26:08,096 --> 01:26:10,223 I've been entrusted with the whole apartment. 1216 01:26:10,665 --> 01:26:13,133 I'm responsible for every single bit of it. 1217 01:26:34,489 --> 01:26:37,219 I'm really sorry I've got to talk to you like this, 1218 01:26:37,292 --> 01:26:39,852 but there's got to be some order in the army. 1219 01:26:41,896 --> 01:26:43,625 - Take this to the Lieutenant! 1220 01:26:46,568 --> 01:26:50,299 Here's a five crown tip for you, and I'll wait here! 1221 01:26:50,705 --> 01:26:53,799 - No play, Madam. Keep your five crowns. 1222 01:26:54,242 --> 01:26:56,574 If you insist, you can come to the barracks with me. 1223 01:26:56,644 --> 01:26:58,703 I'll hand your letter over to the Lieutenant 1224 01:26:59,013 --> 01:27:01,447 and you can wait for the answer. 1225 01:27:03,518 --> 01:27:05,042 Now, I'm going to lock up! 1226 01:27:56,571 --> 01:27:57,401 - What's the matter? 1227 01:27:57,505 --> 01:27:59,063 - Beg to report, Sir, here's a letter for you. 1228 01:28:12,153 --> 01:28:15,179 - The lady says that you are a beast! What have you done to her? 1229 01:28:15,356 --> 01:28:17,881 - Beg to report, Sir, nothing. She wanted to move into your apartment, 1230 01:28:18,026 --> 01:28:19,459 suitcases and all. 1231 01:28:19,560 --> 01:28:21,994 - What? What's that? - I prevented her from doing it. 1232 01:28:23,264 --> 01:28:27,360 I know of a draper in Vojtesska, who once took a lady to live with him, 1233 01:28:27,969 --> 01:28:29,994 and then couldn't get rid of her, 1234 01:28:30,471 --> 01:28:33,338 so he had to poison himself with coal gas, and her as well. 1235 01:28:34,108 --> 01:28:36,736 - Where is she now? - Waiting, outside the gate! 1236 01:28:41,416 --> 01:28:44,852 My orders, Madam, are to treat you politely 1237 01:28:45,219 --> 01:28:48,017 and to do everything you might wish. 1238 01:28:48,289 --> 01:28:49,847 And I've got a hundred crowns to do it with. 1239 01:28:50,091 --> 01:28:51,524 - Get a cab! 1240 01:29:35,336 --> 01:29:40,273 It"s a good fairy that sent me to you, tralala, tralala... 1241 01:31:09,597 --> 01:31:12,566 What do you say to that, Schweik? 1242 01:31:14,202 --> 01:31:16,261 - As the Staff H. Q. Would put it in their reports: 1243 01:31:17,038 --> 01:31:19,563 After a carefully prepared retreat, we entrenched ourselves 1244 01:31:20,641 --> 01:31:22,700 in positions prepared beforehand. 1245 01:32:05,486 --> 01:32:08,387 - Schweik! Where are you?! 1246 01:32:09,090 --> 01:32:10,751 - Beg to report that I'm here. 1247 01:32:11,993 --> 01:32:13,688 - Come in! 1248 01:32:18,132 --> 01:32:20,362 - Inside, you mean? - Of course. 1249 01:32:20,568 --> 01:32:22,593 I want you to scrub my back! 1250 01:32:27,675 --> 01:32:29,199 - Wouldn't you like to wait 1251 01:32:31,212 --> 01:32:32,873 till the Lieutenant comes home? 1252 01:32:33,381 --> 01:32:36,646 - No. I want it done right now! And by you! 1253 01:33:32,006 --> 01:33:34,497 - Everything all right, Schweik? - Beg to report, Sir, 1254 01:33:35,409 --> 01:33:39,038 that I've fulfilled all the lady's wishes, as you instructed me. 1255 01:33:39,847 --> 01:33:42,873 - Thank you very much, Schweik. And did she want many things done? 1256 01:33:44,085 --> 01:33:45,814 - About... six, Sir. 1257 01:33:46,053 --> 01:33:48,783 And now she's sound asleep. I did everything I saw she wanted, 1258 01:33:48,889 --> 01:33:50,481 although she didn't actually ask for it... 1259 01:33:51,158 --> 01:33:53,683 - Thanks, I'm glad I can rely on you in everything. 1260 01:34:18,986 --> 01:34:20,749 - Beg to report, Sir, that I'm waiting here. 1261 01:34:21,088 --> 01:34:22,817 - I've asked you to come, Schweik, 1262 01:34:23,457 --> 01:34:25,925 because we have to talk in confidence. 1263 01:34:27,328 --> 01:34:29,421 What's going on at home? What is she doing? 1264 01:34:29,864 --> 01:34:32,560 - She just broke that large bottle of Eau de Cologne. 1265 01:34:34,001 --> 01:34:36,629 The whole place smells... Like a barbershop! 1266 01:34:41,809 --> 01:34:43,276 - What are we going to do? 1267 01:34:44,445 --> 01:34:46,208 - Don't say I haven't warned you. 1268 01:34:47,281 --> 01:34:48,908 I know of a follow who once... - We must get rid of that woman! 1269 01:34:49,016 --> 01:34:50,483 - It's high time, too, 1270 01:34:51,385 --> 01:34:53,546 or we'll be as weak as puppies. 1271 01:34:54,321 --> 01:34:56,050 - But how? - The best thing, Sir, would be 1272 01:34:56,157 --> 01:34:58,682 to dispatch her home, as "Express registered"! 1273 01:34:59,160 --> 01:35:00,923 I know of a similar case that happened too at Vsenory last year. 1274 01:35:01,662 --> 01:35:03,721 Let's send a wire to her husband. 1275 01:35:04,932 --> 01:35:07,366 As a sort of "unknown friend". 1276 01:35:07,735 --> 01:35:12,604 We'll put it like this: "U ou wife's address is..." 1277 01:35:13,541 --> 01:35:17,033 After all, it isn't your fault! U ou didn't invite her to come... 1278 01:35:17,178 --> 01:35:18,668 - Of course! 1279 01:35:19,113 --> 01:35:20,512 - And, as you say, her husband, 1280 01:35:20,614 --> 01:35:21,842 the hop merchant, is an intelligent sort of fellow, 1281 01:35:21,949 --> 01:35:23,814 so even if you get a punch on the jaw... 1282 01:35:23,884 --> 01:35:25,408 - Let's go to the post office! 1283 01:35:52,079 --> 01:35:54,013 - Where is she? Here she is...! 1284 01:36:07,962 --> 01:36:10,556 Katy! - My husband. 1285 01:36:11,132 --> 01:36:12,861 Lieutenant Lukas. 1286 01:36:18,105 --> 01:36:20,039 - An "Unknown friend" sent me the address by wire. 1287 01:36:20,341 --> 01:36:21,831 - That's a mean thing to do! 1288 01:36:23,978 --> 01:36:26,242 - Don't you like cigarettes? - Thanks. 1289 01:36:28,849 --> 01:36:30,874 Pardon me. - Take a seat, won't you? 1290 01:36:31,051 --> 01:36:33,485 U ou must be tired. - U es, please, thank you. 1291 01:36:35,189 --> 01:36:36,315 - Help yourself. 1292 01:36:36,457 --> 01:36:38,049 U ou don't know how pleased I am to be here to welcome you. 1293 01:36:38,793 --> 01:36:40,954 U ou know, I live at the barracks, and that's why I was able 1294 01:36:41,061 --> 01:36:43,427 to offer Madam the hospitality of my apartment. 1295 01:36:43,998 --> 01:36:46,398 As an old acquaintance. 1296 01:36:49,203 --> 01:36:51,103 - My Katy is a funny woman! 1297 01:36:51,238 --> 01:36:52,796 She suddenly decided to take a cure for her nerves. 1298 01:36:52,907 --> 01:36:54,636 I was away traveling, and upon my return 1299 01:36:54,742 --> 01:36:56,209 I find the house empty and Katy gone. 1300 01:36:58,078 --> 01:36:59,102 And what about you, Lieutenant? 1301 01:36:59,213 --> 01:37:00,737 U ou'll be off to the front soon, I suppose? 1302 01:37:01,248 --> 01:37:03,148 - As soon as I've finished my job of training volunteer officers. 1303 01:37:03,651 --> 01:37:06,211 We need a lot of new officers, you know, and it's very sad that most people 1304 01:37:06,320 --> 01:37:08,220 prefer to remain plain privates in the infantry. 1305 01:37:08,355 --> 01:37:09,913 It looks like people lack interest in the war. 1306 01:37:10,024 --> 01:37:11,457 - U ou are wrong there. It interests me very much 1307 01:37:11,559 --> 01:37:12,890 what's going on at the front! 1308 01:37:13,027 --> 01:37:14,619 The hop business has been badly hit by the war! 1309 01:37:15,029 --> 01:37:16,997 But I only hope that it won't last long! 1310 01:37:17,264 --> 01:37:18,697 - Our position is very good. 1311 01:37:19,733 --> 01:37:22,896 The Eastern Bezkyds and the Carpathians are excellent pivotal centers for us. 1312 01:37:23,137 --> 01:37:24,695 One strong blow on this line 1313 01:37:25,005 --> 01:37:26,597 and we shan't stop till we get to Moscow! 1314 01:37:27,041 --> 01:37:32,001 THE CITU OF MOSCOW INN 1315 01:38:08,515 --> 01:38:11,313 Pardon me, Miss, can you tell me the way to Zizkov? 1316 01:38:12,720 --> 01:38:15,484 - To Zizkov? U ou'll have to turn back this way... 1317 01:38:15,589 --> 01:38:17,921 - Back? - U es, and then cross the bridge. 1318 01:38:18,025 --> 01:38:22,394 Go as far as the Powder Tower, and there ask again. 1319 01:38:22,496 --> 01:38:23,929 - U es. 1320 01:38:28,802 --> 01:38:30,770 Ah, you don't seem to be from Prague either? 1321 01:38:31,005 --> 01:38:33,064 - No, I'm from Vodnany. 1322 01:38:33,807 --> 01:38:36,173 - From Vodnany? So we're almost neighbors! 1323 01:38:36,243 --> 01:38:38,438 I'm from Protivin. - If you're from Protivin, 1324 01:38:38,545 --> 01:38:41,776 you must know Pejchar the butcher on the square? 1325 01:38:42,383 --> 01:38:45,011 - Of course I know him, he's a cousin of mine. 1326 01:38:45,419 --> 01:38:47,284 - U ou don't say! 1327 01:38:50,724 --> 01:38:52,988 Aren't you called Jaros? - I am, Miss. 1328 01:38:53,093 --> 01:38:54,924 - And which Jaros family do come from? Those from Razice? 1329 01:38:55,062 --> 01:38:57,997 - From Razice. - Is your father still delivering beer? 1330 01:38:58,465 --> 01:39:00,194 - He is. - Well, he must be 1331 01:39:00,301 --> 01:39:01,791 well over sixty now. 1332 01:39:01,902 --> 01:39:05,429 - He was sixty-eight last spring. 1333 01:39:26,493 --> 01:39:31,487 - Lux! Lux! 1334 01:39:33,067 --> 01:39:35,297 Lux! 1335 01:39:35,402 --> 01:39:36,926 - Three breweries, where I used to deliver thousands 1336 01:39:37,004 --> 01:39:39,336 of tons of hops every year, were burned down in Belgium. 1337 01:39:39,540 --> 01:39:41,098 Another brewery, at Lwow, was also burned to cinders. 1338 01:39:41,241 --> 01:39:43,072 If it goes on like this, I shall be ruined! 1339 01:39:43,377 --> 01:39:44,867 Katy, are you ready? 1340 01:39:45,346 --> 01:39:47,211 All this is causing me so much excitement! 1341 01:39:47,414 --> 01:39:50,906 Those losses in business and then domestic worries on top of it...! 1342 01:39:52,052 --> 01:39:53,781 It wasn't the first time. 1343 01:39:55,022 --> 01:39:56,489 Last year, she ran away with an assistant professor, 1344 01:39:56,590 --> 01:39:58,057 and as far as Zagreb, too. Well, at that time I managed to sell 1345 01:39:58,125 --> 01:40:02,721 60 tons of hops to the brewery at Zagreb. 1346 01:40:03,797 --> 01:40:04,991 - What's going to happen to my suitcases? 1347 01:40:05,099 --> 01:40:06,532 - Of course, darling, of course. 1348 01:40:06,767 --> 01:40:09,668 Everything is ready. I have a car waiting downstairs. 1349 01:40:12,039 --> 01:40:14,064 - Lieutenant... - Madam... 1350 01:40:14,174 --> 01:40:15,607 - Why didn't you protect me? 1351 01:40:15,676 --> 01:40:17,337 U ou permit him to drag me away like a lifeless doll! 1352 01:40:19,380 --> 01:40:21,848 - Right... We have to say goodbye now! 1353 01:40:21,915 --> 01:40:23,405 - As you wish. 1354 01:40:33,494 --> 01:40:35,121 - My compliments, Lieutenant. 1355 01:40:37,398 --> 01:40:40,162 If you should get injured fighting, come to our place for a rest cure. 1356 01:40:51,912 --> 01:40:53,470 - Come here! 1357 01:40:55,349 --> 01:40:58,113 Beg to report, Sir, I'm bringing you a thoroughbred... 1358 01:40:58,218 --> 01:41:00,049 Come on! ...stable dog. 1359 01:41:00,387 --> 01:41:01,820 He's got to get used to his new surroundings. 1360 01:41:02,423 --> 01:41:04,687 What's his name? - Max. 1361 01:41:05,225 --> 01:41:07,022 I'll get his pedigree tomorrow. 1362 01:41:07,261 --> 01:41:08,694 - Put him into the kitchen for the time being. 1363 01:41:08,962 --> 01:41:10,452 - Come on! 1364 01:41:12,533 --> 01:41:14,433 Come on, I tell you... come on! 1365 01:41:25,179 --> 01:41:27,010 Don't look so cross, you silly ass! 1366 01:41:28,682 --> 01:41:30,172 If you think it over, 1367 01:41:31,085 --> 01:41:34,452 every soldier has been stolen from his home, too... 1368 01:41:58,011 --> 01:41:59,945 - Stop! 1369 01:42:02,483 --> 01:42:05,714 Lieutenant, subordinates always salute their superiors! 1370 01:42:06,186 --> 01:42:09,019 This regulation has not been abolished! And now, to the second point: 1371 01:42:09,523 --> 01:42:13,254 Since when do Lieutenants take stolen dogs for a walk? Answer me! 1372 01:42:13,760 --> 01:42:15,284 - That dog, Colonel... 1373 01:42:15,362 --> 01:42:17,455 ...Belongs to me! That's my Lux! 1374 01:42:18,098 --> 01:42:19,963 Did you read in the paper that colonel 1375 01:42:20,100 --> 01:42:23,001 Kraus von Zillergut lost a thoroughbred pinscher? 1376 01:42:23,170 --> 01:42:25,161 - I didn't. - What? 1377 01:42:25,405 --> 01:42:28,670 So you didn't read the ad your superior officer put in the paper? 1378 01:42:28,775 --> 01:42:32,233 Nice goings on! And at a time, when we are losing 1379 01:42:32,346 --> 01:42:35,645 hundreds of brave soldiers at the front every day - 1380 01:42:36,416 --> 01:42:39,283 you don't read the advertisements! And that's supposed to be discipline? 1381 01:42:39,386 --> 01:42:41,946 I could advertise 100... ...200... no, 300 years! 1382 01:42:42,122 --> 01:42:43,612 - I can assure you, Sir... 1383 01:42:43,690 --> 01:42:46,591 - That it won't happen! I'll take care of that! 1384 01:42:46,727 --> 01:42:51,164 I'm sending you to Budejovice, to form march battalions! 1385 01:42:51,298 --> 01:42:53,789 Right. For now you can walk about! 1386 01:42:54,368 --> 01:42:56,859 Ha, ha! Ha, ha! 1387 01:43:00,240 --> 01:43:03,209 ...there was heavy fighting... 1388 01:43:04,745 --> 01:43:06,212 ...at Mezilaborka. 1389 01:43:08,048 --> 01:43:11,211 U es, that's how it goes... U es. 1390 01:43:11,852 --> 01:43:13,319 It's here. 1391 01:43:16,056 --> 01:43:20,618 - Schweik! U ou stole the dog! 1392 01:43:21,261 --> 01:43:22,694 - I didn't steal it. 1393 01:43:22,763 --> 01:43:24,253 - But you knew it was stolen! 1394 01:43:25,132 --> 01:43:26,565 - I knew. 1395 01:43:40,614 --> 01:43:42,081 - Do you know I feel like sending you 1396 01:43:42,182 --> 01:43:43,581 before a military court. 1397 01:43:45,619 --> 01:43:47,086 But they'd let you go all the same, 1398 01:43:47,154 --> 01:43:49,645 because they've never seen anything so stupid in their entire lives. 1399 01:43:51,024 --> 01:43:53,185 Why did you bring me the beast? 1400 01:43:54,428 --> 01:43:56,089 - To make you happy. 1401 01:43:56,496 --> 01:43:58,054 - Jesus Christ! 1402 01:43:59,533 --> 01:44:00,898 Do you know what a march battalion is? 1403 01:44:02,169 --> 01:44:03,602 - March bat. 1404 01:44:04,071 --> 01:44:05,936 March co is march company. 1405 01:44:06,406 --> 01:44:07,964 We shorten it like that. 1406 01:44:08,208 --> 01:44:09,641 - Get ready then! 1407 01:44:09,910 --> 01:44:12,811 We'll soon be off in our march battalions to the front. 1408 01:44:13,046 --> 01:44:14,479 Are you happy? 1409 01:44:14,581 --> 01:44:18,415 - Lieutenant, it'll be magnificent! 1410 01:44:20,053 --> 01:44:23,022 When we fall together 1411 01:44:23,724 --> 01:44:28,286 for the Emperor and his family. 1412 01:44:30,697 --> 01:44:34,633 End of part one 111913

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