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{\an2}Give it up for Jimmy Ohh yeah.
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{\an2}Look at you, beautiful people.
3
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{\an2}Oh my God.
4
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{\an2}No good, you guys.
5
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{\an2}It's good to be back.
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{\an2}It's good to be back seeing
{\an2}all your beautiful faces.
7
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{\an2}Give it up for yourselves,
{\an2}man, for being here tonight.
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{\an2}Thank you.
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{\an2}I love you guys.
10
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{\an2}Appreciate you guys and Asian people,
{\an2}where we had Asian people.
11
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{\an2}Look at you guys.
12
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{\an2}This is great.
13
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{\an2}I'm so proud of my Asian people.
14
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{\an2}There's so much excellence
{\an2}out there going on
15
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{\an2}a lot of people representing.
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{\an2}It's never been a better time
{\an2}to be Asian.
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{\an2}I say this every year, I know.
18
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{\an2}But truly, this is our time.
19
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{\an2}I mean, come on, we got BTS now,
{\an2}come on, that's us.
20
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{\an2}That's all people.
21
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{\an2}They're doing it.
22
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{\an2}I'm so proud of them.
23
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{\an2}Biggest band in the world,
24
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{\an2}probably ever since the Backstreet Boys,
25
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{\an2}and they don't have
26
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{\an2}to speak English.
27
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{\an2}I love my PTS, man.
28
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{\an2}Even white people know PTS.
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{\an2}Now.
30
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{\an2}That's progress.
31
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{\an2}That's progress.
32
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{\an2}Out of 15 year old white kid
33
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{\an2}come up to me
34
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{\an2}trying to explain to me
{\an2}the different members
35
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{\an2}of BTS.
36
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{\an2}He was like, ohh,
{\an2}this is Joan Cook.
37
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{\an2}He's kind of like the lead singer
{\an2}and that's Jim and he's really cool.
38
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{\an2}And he also raps, I'm like, dude,
{\an2}they look the same to me.
39
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:05,880
{\an2}I didn't want to say I couldn't say
{\an2}it as an Asian person,
40
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,287
{\an2}but they all just look like
41
00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:07,517
{\an2}me.
42
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{\an2}With pink hair.
43
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{\an2}I can turn the whole show
{\an2}to a BTS concert right now.
44
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{\an2}Alright.
45
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{\an2}Yeah, this is this is Jimmy.
46
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{\an2}This is Jimmy right here.
47
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{\an2}You don't know.
48
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{\an2}You have the, you know.
49
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{\an2}You don't know smoke like.
50
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:26,120
{\an2}But no, I'm not.
51
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{\an2}I'm not.
52
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{\an2}I'm not gonna.
53
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{\an2}I'm not.
54
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{\an2}I'm not good at that.
55
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{\an2}I love my people, man.
56
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{\an2}I love BTS.
57
00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:36,517
{\an2}You guys probably heard in the news
58
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{\an2}they gotta go to mandatory
{\an2}Korean army, right?
59
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{\an2}The most popular people in the world,
60
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{\an2}they gotta go sign up for Korean military.
61
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{\an2}That's some gangster shit.
62
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{\an2}Imagine how scared you'll be
63
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{\an2}when you encounter PTS
{\an2}on the battlefield.
64
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{\an2}You're in battle.
65
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{\an2}You already kind of shook.
66
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{\an2}You had a field of grass
67
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{\an2}and a little puff of pink hair
68
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{\an2}just pops up.
69
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{\an2}Be like, yo, what the fuck
{\an2}was that?
70
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,210
{\an2}Is that a Unicorn?
71
00:03:06,070 --> 00:03:08,000
{\an2}And then six more pink hair pop up.
72
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{\an2}Feel like we're surrounded.
73
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{\an2}And the last thing
{\an2}you see is just this.
74
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{\an2}That's some gangster shit.
75
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{\an2}I'm proud of my people, man.
76
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{\an2}I'm proud of my people.
77
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{\an2}You know, A lot of great
{\an2}representation out there.
78
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{\an2}I see some of you guys
{\an2}still wearing a mask.
79
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{\an2}I still wear my mask.
80
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{\an2}No shame in that, right?
81
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{\an2}It's all good.
82
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{\an2}It's all good.
83
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{\an2}I wear my mask not because
{\an2}I think I'm gonna get sick,
84
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,647
{\an2}but because I just want to talk
85
00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:39,697
{\an2}to anybody anymore.
86
00:03:41,230 --> 00:03:43,507
{\an2}But I'm still surprised
{\an2}when people come up to me,
87
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,147
{\an2}they're like, Oh my God Jimmy,
{\an2}I'm
88
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{\an2}like how did you know?
89
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,420
{\an2}How did you know?
90
00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:52,960
{\an2}How many other Asian guys
{\an2}did you go up to?
91
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{\an2}Before it happened to me, me.
92
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{\an2}You don't know.
93
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{\an2}You don't know.
94
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{\an2}Underneath this mask.
95
00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:02,300
{\an2}I could be Aquafina.
96
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{\an2}You don't know.
97
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{\an2}And look, I'm not saying that all Asian
{\an2}people look alike, OK?
98
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{\an2}I'm just saying that me
{\an2}and Aquafina look alike.
99
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{\an2}And we both look like
{\an2}we should be in BTS.
100
00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:22,240
{\an2}Love all the representation
{\an2}out there, man.
101
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:23,640
{\an2}But it's not just celebrities.
102
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{\an2}I'm very proud of that.
103
00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:26,820
{\an2}Everyday people out there representing.
104
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{\an2}That's the important part.
105
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{\an2}You know what I mean?
106
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{\an2}Ohh.
107
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{\an2}No no.
108
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{\an2}I'm very happy for this
{\an2}one particular person.
109
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{\an2}I'm really happy for that old Chinese lady
{\an2}in Chinatown
110
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{\an2}who's been wearing a mask since
111
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{\an2}1995.
112
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{\an2}Her life just suddenly made sense.
113
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{\an2}Before the mask mandate,
{\an2}everybody looked at us like, ohh,
114
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{\an2}why is she wearing a mask
115
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{\an2}that's so random?
116
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{\an2}She's not random.
117
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{\an2}She's a fucking trailblazer, OK?
118
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,770
{\an2}She started wearing a mask.
119
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,810
{\an2}Now everybody has to wear a mask.
120
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:07,310
{\an2}She's like the Kendall Jenner
{\an2}of Chinatown.
121
00:05:09,340 --> 00:05:12,050
{\an2}She must have been so happy
{\an2}when this mask mandate happened.
122
00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:13,550
{\an2}Just laughing at everyone.
123
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,390
{\an2}It's like, look at you idiots.
124
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{\an2}I told you to put on a mask.
125
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{\an2}No, the CDC follows me.
126
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{\an2}She's prepared.
127
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{\an2}She didn't just have a mask.
128
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{\an2}She had gloves on
{\an2}from when she's driving.
129
00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:31,920
{\an2}She had the full face shield
{\an2}that comes down looking like Daft Punk.
130
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,650
{\an2}That's my girl right there, man.
131
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{\an2}Asian people were ready
{\an2}for this shit.
132
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{\an2}Social distancing.
133
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{\an2}We've been doing that for centuries.
134
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{\an2}Well, I got that.
135
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{\an2}Hugging and touching and all that.
136
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{\an2}You know, when we see each other,
{\an2}just a nice bound, that is.
137
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{\an2}That is socially distanced,
138
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{\an2}and if you're really Asian,
139
00:05:52,450 --> 00:05:53,727
{\an2}you ever see two really Asian
140
00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:55,768
{\an2}people, It turns into a bowling contest
141
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{\an2}to see who's more respectful.
142
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{\an2}To see what can bow lower
143
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{\an2}and a more way from each other
144
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{\an2}until you just fold it in half
145
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{\an2}and you go home.
146
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{\an2}That social distancing people.
147
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{\an2}That's right.
148
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{\an2}That's right.
149
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{\an2}But the pandemic has taught us anything.
150
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,410
{\an2}It's everybody should be
{\an2}a little more Asian.
151
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{\an2}A lot of people in this country,
{\an2}Americans, you know,
152
00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:24,197
{\an2}like we're not ready for this.
153
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{\an2}All the rules.
154
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{\an2}We're rebels, man.
155
00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,940
{\an2}We don't like falling rules.
156
00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:29,060
{\an2}People are like freaking out.
157
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{\an2}They're like mess, man.
158
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{\an2}They no.
159
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{\an2}I'm like, dude,
{\an2}it's just a mask.
160
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:35,330
{\an2}Just put on a mask.
161
00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:38,350
{\an2}They're like, it's not just a mask,
{\an2}it's the government.
162
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{\an2}Yeah, it's the government
{\an2}fear mongering.
163
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:44,000
{\an2}I'm like, what is that?
164
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,920
{\an2}They're like, yeah,
{\an2}it's fear mongering.
165
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,940
{\an2}They want you to be scared
{\an2}of everything.
166
00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:51,740
{\an2}So you're obedient and you're scared
{\an2}and you follow the rules.
167
00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:54,490
{\an2}I'm like, ohh,
{\an2}that's called fear mongering.
168
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,060
{\an2}Then my mom must have invented
{\an2}fear mongering.
169
00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:00,220
{\an2}Ohh.
170
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:03,840
{\an2}I didn't know that's
{\an2}what it's called.
171
00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:07,257
{\an2}Ever since I was five years old,
172
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:09,747
{\an2}my mom had me believe
{\an2}that anything I do would make
173
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:10,457
{\an2}me sick.
174
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,630
{\an2}You go outside without a jacket,
{\an2}you get the flu.
175
00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:19,700
{\an2}You go to bed with the fan
{\an2}on pneumonia.
176
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,590
{\an2}God forbid you fall asleep
{\an2}with wet hair.
177
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{\an2}You don't wake up.
178
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{\an2}That's it.
179
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{\an2}You're dead.
180
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{\an2}That's it.
181
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{\an2}You're dead.
182
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{\an2}That's fear mongering man.
183
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,990
{\an2}I'm not scared of anything anymore.
184
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{\an2}I don't think I have
{\an2}any fear anymore.
185
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{\an2}I used to watch that show.
186
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{\an2}Fear Factor.
187
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,330
{\an2}You guys remember that show?
188
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:43,210
{\an2}Yeah.
189
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:46,660
{\an2}Joe Rogan hosted Fear Factor
{\an2}to make it face your fears.
190
00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:49,377
{\an2}Like jump off a helicopter, eat crazy shit
191
00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:51,607
{\an2}like pig intestines and century egg.
192
00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:53,520
{\an2}I ate that shit for breakfast.
193
00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:56,280
{\an2}This is nothing to me.
194
00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:57,620
{\an2}Fear is not a factor.
195
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:04,420
{\an2}I do remember when I was like
{\an2}10 years old little boy,
196
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:05,927
{\an2}I was very scared because there
197
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:08,577
{\an2}was one kid, pretty sad story in my class,
198
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:11,007
{\an2}had childhood leukaemia
{\an2}and they lost all
199
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:14,087
{\an2}his hair to chemo
{\an2}and everything looking real frail.
200
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,190
{\an2}And I was really scared.
201
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,870
{\an2}I was like, Oh my God,
{\an2}is he going to be OK?
202
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,630
{\an2}And my mom,
{\an2}she's a great mother.
203
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,320
{\an2}She saw how scared I was,
{\an2}so she came up to console me.
204
00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:23,510
{\an2}She was like Jimmy.
205
00:08:25,540 --> 00:08:26,060
{\an2}Jamia.
206
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,060
{\an2}You see?
207
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:31,440
{\an2}This is what happens when you play
{\an2}too much video games.
208
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,230
{\an2}That's fearmongering, OK?
209
00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:42,440
{\an2}I never played a game
{\an2}of FIFA after that.
210
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,310
{\an2}My mom was like
{\an2}the original fake news.
211
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:55,170
{\an2}It's good to see everyone here, man.
212
00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:56,737
{\an2}I think collectively as people,
213
00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:59,137
{\an2}we all been through a lot
{\an2}in the last few years, man.
214
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:03,640
{\an2}And we made it out.
215
00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:04,380
{\an2}We made it out.
216
00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:05,587
{\an2}We're better for it, you know,
217
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,087
{\an2}I feel like I'm mentally aged
{\an2}like 20 years.
218
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,397
{\an2}Like the first day I walked outside,
219
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,427
{\an2}for some reason I just walked out
{\an2}like an old Chinese
220
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:12,827
{\an2}man.
221
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,560
{\an2}I just came out
{\an2}of my house like this.
222
00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:25,830
{\an2}I was wearing flip flops and a puffer vest
{\an2}by Alpha made no sense.
223
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,110
{\an2}My feet were cold chest sweat.
224
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:31,477
{\an2}My posture look like shit,
225
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,087
{\an2}but I'm still judging everyone.
226
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:33,990
{\an2}I'm just saying.
227
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:42,600
{\an2}I'm an old man now.
228
00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:44,700
{\an2}I don't even like going
{\an2}outside anymore.
229
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:46,490
{\an2}All my friends,
{\an2}they back to normal, right?
230
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,720
{\an2}They're like, ohh, Jimmy,
{\an2}you wanna go to Coachella?
231
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:52,220
{\an2}I'm like, Nah, no seats.
232
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:54,220
{\an2}Ohh.
233
00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:57,420
{\an2}Gonna look fine to me.
234
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,870
{\an2}Six hours standing
{\an2}in the desert?
235
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:01,980
{\an2}Fuck that.
236
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:04,127
{\an2}You see all these kids,
237
00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:05,317
{\an2}like with the Instagram post,
238
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,367
{\an2}you know, it's always like people
239
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:08,227
{\an2}just like jumping around, dancing,
240
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:10,367
{\an2}and then all these buff dudes
{\an2}got like girls on his
241
00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:10,977
{\an2}shoulder.
242
00:10:11,130 --> 00:10:12,640
{\an2}I'm like, dude,
{\an2}you not going to the concert?
243
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:13,600
{\an2}You're doing CrossFit.
244
00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:14,170
{\an2}How's that for?
245
00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:18,320
{\an2}The only concert I've been
{\an2}to this year?
246
00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:20,760
{\an2}I took my girlfriend to
{\an2}a Don McLean concert.
247
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:22,100
{\an2}Yeah.
248
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:23,280
{\an2}You guys know who that is?
249
00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:24,050
{\an2}Yeah.
250
00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:25,300
{\an2}Couple people, thank you.
251
00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:25,900
{\an2}Thank you.
252
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:29,060
{\an2}Tom McLean for you guys
{\an2}that don't know saying the song.
253
00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:30,930
{\an2}Bye bye Miss American Pie.
254
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,340
{\an2}Yeah, he's all that shit, dude.
255
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,360
{\an2}He's 77 years old,
{\an2}and so was his audience.
256
00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:41,480
{\an2}It was my favourite concert
{\an2}I ever been to.
257
00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:43,980
{\an2}On a ticket it says show started at 8,
{\an2}start at 7:59.
258
00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:50,510
{\an2}He never had an opener,
{\an2}you know.
259
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,530
{\an2}He just came on stage with a guitar
{\an2}and started singing.
260
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:54,410
{\an2}It was awesome.
261
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,257
{\an2}Nobody stood up to, like,
{\an2}obstruct my view
262
00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:57,017
{\an2}because frankly,
263
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,287
{\an2}everyone had a bad hip.
264
00:10:58,680 --> 00:10:59,090
{\an2}It's great.
265
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:03,420
{\an2}Still got home in time
{\an2}to watch the 10:00 o'clock Evening News.
266
00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:05,960
{\an2}That's my kind of evening,
{\an2}you know what I mean?
267
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:08,830
{\an2}I don't like going outside anymore.
268
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,010
{\an2}Too many crazy people,
{\an2}too many weirdos.
269
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:14,930
{\an2}One time I went to this dive bar
{\an2}in a military town, San Diego.
270
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:15,740
{\an2}Big military town.
271
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:17,610
{\an2}I love my military, OK?
272
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,790
{\an2}But I think sometimes, Yeah, yeah,
{\an2}but I think sometimes.
273
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,000
{\an2}Military people get
{\an2}a little too passionate.
274
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,300
{\an2}You know, thank you, thank you.
275
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:29,970
{\an2}Exactly my point right there.
276
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:31,310
{\an2}Thank you.
277
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,390
{\an2}I love Milton,
{\an2}but they're just too passionate.
278
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,630
{\an2}Like I was at a dive bar,
279
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,247
{\an2}this one military brother came up to me
{\an2}who just like hey man.
280
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,050
{\an2}I wanna buy your drink.
281
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,060
{\an2}I'm like, no, no thank you.
282
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:42,340
{\an2}I can.
283
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,360
{\an2}I can buy my own drink.
284
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:43,940
{\an2}Thank you.
285
00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:44,870
{\an2}There's like, no.
286
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,200
{\an2}I wanna buy you a drink.
287
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,037
{\an2}So at this point I thought either
{\an2}he wanted to take a selfie
288
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,347
{\an2}or he wanted to fuck me.
289
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:58,080
{\an2}So I'm like, no Sir,
{\an2}I think I can buy my own drink
290
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,417
{\an2}and they start telling me
{\an2}his whole
291
00:11:59,500 --> 00:11:59,737
{\an2}life story.
292
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,240
{\an2}He's like, you don't understand.
293
00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:03,210
{\an2}I wanna buy you shrink.
294
00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:06,700
{\an2}Because our station in Okinawa 4 years.
295
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,830
{\an2}And you guys have been nothing
{\an2}but nice to me.
296
00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:19,350
{\an2}I'm like you guys.
297
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:20,510
{\an2}You guys.
298
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:22,650
{\an2}Okinawa is in Japan.
299
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:23,790
{\an2}I'm Chinese, Sir.
300
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,250
{\an2}It is like it doesn't matter, man.
301
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,770
{\an2}It doesn't even matter.
302
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:31,800
{\an2}I'm like, Sir, I think
{\an2}it does matter, right?
303
00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:36,327
{\an2}I'm pretty sure the only reason
{\an2}you were stationed in Japan
304
00:12:36,410 --> 00:12:37,627
{\an2}was to keep an eye out on
305
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,047
{\an2}Chinese people like me.
306
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:41,970
{\an2}It does matter.
307
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:46,160
{\an2}He was like, it doesn't matter, man,
{\an2}I still love pad Thai, OK?
308
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,160
{\an2}Maybe that got run into BTS
{\an2}on his next tour, Who knows.
309
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,197
{\an2}My point of saying all of this
{\an2}is Asian people,
310
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,647
{\an2}we don't all look alike.
311
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,410
{\an2}We don't all sound alike.
312
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,670
{\an2}You know we don't,
{\an2}we don't do anything alike.
313
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,650
{\an2}We just people, you know, right.
314
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:07,940
{\an2}Like everybody's different.
315
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:08,730
{\an2}Thank you, white lady.
316
00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:09,390
{\an2}Thank you.
317
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:09,850
{\an2}Thank you.
318
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:10,460
{\an2}One white lady.
319
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:11,230
{\an2}Appreciate it.
320
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:12,170
{\an2}Thank you.
321
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:13,430
{\an2}Teachers.
322
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,530
{\an2}Magnet school down the street,
{\an2}a lot of Asian students.
323
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:23,850
{\an2}So tonight I want to offer you guys
{\an2}an advanced lesson.
324
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,250
{\an2}On how to tell Asian people apart.
325
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:26,870
{\an2}OK,
326
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:28,647
{\an2}yeah, that's right.
327
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,937
{\an2}I'm so good at telling Asian people apart,
328
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,097
{\an2}I don't even need to look at you.
329
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,227
{\an2}I can't tell you what
{\an2}kind of Asian somebody
330
00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:38,837
{\an2}is by the sound they make
{\an2}when they disappointed.
331
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,320
{\an2}Because disappointment
{\an2}is our strongest emotion.
332
00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:47,947
{\an2}Whenever you get disappointed,
333
00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:49,860
{\an2}our ancestor just comes out
334
00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:51,327
{\an2}and you can't hide that,
335
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:51,447
{\an2}you
336
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:51,737
{\an2}know.
337
00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:54,680
{\an2}Like, for example,
{\an2}I'm Chinese.
338
00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:56,760
{\an2}I know Chinese people
{\an2}very well, OK?
339
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,327
{\an2}When Chinese people get disappointed,
340
00:13:58,410 --> 00:13:59,440
{\an2}which is disgusting,
341
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:00,727
{\an2}we don't know what to look
342
00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:00,967
{\an2}at you.
343
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,827
{\an2}When you disappoint a Chinese person,
344
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,187
{\an2}they just like ohh you.
345
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,120
{\an2}Like they just walked into a Smokey room
{\an2}and they gotta clear it, just like.
346
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,000
{\an2}See, that's Chinese people.
347
00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:23,660
{\an2}Japanese people and Japanese
{\an2}people get disappointed.
348
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,000
{\an2}They just want to know why.
349
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:27,000
{\an2}They ask you a question.
350
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:30,650
{\an2}When a Japanese person gets disappointed,
{\an2}they're just like, hey.
351
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:34,960
{\an2}Hey.
352
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:36,800
{\an2}And that's it.
353
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:41,090
{\an2}You didn't go to this point
{\an2}of Korean person.
354
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:43,580
{\an2}I wouldn't recommend that.
355
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:49,320
{\an2}His Korean brother might fuck
{\an2}you up, OK?
356
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,170
{\an2}Or if you were intensely
{\an2}right to fight,
357
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:53,957
{\an2}but they're my favourite type of people
{\an2}because
358
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,587
{\an2}they're very emotionally honest.
359
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,520
{\an2}A Korean person will let you know
{\an2}when they're disappointed.
360
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:00,110
{\an2}They're real guttural with it,
{\an2}you know?
361
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,137
{\an2}I mean, when you disappoint
{\an2}a Korean person,
362
00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:03,347
{\an2}they're like, who?
363
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,440
{\an2}See that?
364
00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:12,150
{\an2}But they're still very Asian,
{\an2}so they're still real polite.
365
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,040
{\an2}They'll thank you with that.
366
00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:15,940
{\an2}They're like Ohh Shiba.
367
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:24,680
{\an2}I don't even speak Korean.
368
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:27,920
{\an2}But I watched squid games.
369
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:30,200
{\an2}Right.
370
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:31,840
{\an2}Love that show.
371
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,130
{\an2}See, that's great.
372
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,050
{\an2}Representation #1 TV show
{\an2}in the world, man.
373
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,550
{\an2}And you spoke their native tongue.
374
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,390
{\an2}That's representation right there, man.
375
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:40,100
{\an2}Prada.
376
00:15:41,010 --> 00:15:41,630
{\an2}That's right.
377
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:42,560
{\an2}That's right.
378
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:48,241
{\an2}But I'm most proud of the fact
{\an2}that I finally have an
379
00:15:48,324 --> 00:15:49,627
{\an2}easy Halloween costume.
380
00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:54,757
{\an2}Some of you guys don't understand
{\an2}the struggle for an Asian guy
381
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,977
{\an2}when it comes to Halloween.
382
00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:57,660
{\an2}Our outfits are limited.
383
00:15:58,380 --> 00:16:00,050
{\an2}I was Bruce Lee for six years.
384
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,390
{\an2}But this last year,
{\an2}I had
385
00:16:05,473 --> 00:16:06,507
{\an2}the best Halloween costume.
386
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,667
{\an2}All I did I went to Amazon,
387
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,590
{\an2}got like a matching like tracksuit
388
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,017
{\an2}for three numbers on my
389
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,847
{\an2}chest, and I found myself
{\an2}an Indian friend.
390
00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,660
{\an2}It was such a great squid
{\an2}game costume.
391
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:20,520
{\an2}Somebody came up to me.
392
00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:24,020
{\an2}It's like, Oh my God, you look
{\an2}just like the girl in squid games.
393
00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:30,540
{\an2}Ohh Shiva.
394
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:31,960
{\an2}Dial.
395
00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:39,720
{\an2}I'm proud of all the representation
{\an2}out there, man.
396
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:40,660
{\an2}That's alright.
397
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:43,630
{\an2}Have you guys seen
{\an2}the show Silicon Valley?
398
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:46,480
{\an2}Thank you.
399
00:16:47,870 --> 00:16:48,640
{\an2}Thank you.
400
00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:50,900
{\an2}That was my first big break, man.
401
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:53,260
{\an2}I was so grateful
{\an2}to be part of that show.
402
00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:54,557
{\an2}But that was a few years ago,
403
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,547
{\an2}and I always felt like I was
{\an2}only Asian person representing,
404
00:16:57,630 --> 00:16:57,977
{\an2}right?
405
00:16:58,110 --> 00:16:59,940
{\an2}I felt so much weight
{\an2}on my shoulder.
406
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:01,840
{\an2}Like every year
{\an2}we got very lucky.
407
00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,407
{\an2}We'll get nominated for an Emmy,
408
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,617
{\an2}so we get to go to a great ceremony.
409
00:17:05,770 --> 00:17:07,310
{\an2}But every year we knew
{\an2}we're going to lose.
410
00:17:08,490 --> 00:17:10,660
{\an2}Because all the good shows
{\an2}have front row seats.
411
00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:13,090
{\an2}You know, Veep Game
{\an2}of Thrones are all here.
412
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,120
{\an2}We're way the fuck
{\an2}in the back by the exit sign.
413
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:18,620
{\an2}But it's OK.
414
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,340
{\an2}Win or lose, I was there
{\an2}to represent.
415
00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:23,100
{\an2}I made sure I made my round,
{\an2}say hi to everyone.
416
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,540
{\an2}So they know there's Asian
{\an2}presence, you know?
417
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:27,490
{\an2}That's right.
418
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:30,610
{\an2}So one year, one year
{\an2}after we lost, everybody left.
419
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,277
{\an2}I walked down the front row to say hi
420
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:33,570
{\an2}to some of my favourite actors
421
00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:34,507
{\an2}and I saw someone.
422
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,010
{\an2}I'm like, Oh my God, that's,
{\an2}that's Amelia Clark.
423
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:37,910
{\an2}That's Khaleesi.
424
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,970
{\an2}That's Jon Snow over there,
{\an2}you know?
425
00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:41,760
{\an2}And then there's Rachel Brosnahan.
426
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,930
{\an2}Do you guys know who she is?
427
00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:44,670
{\an2}Yeah, I love her.
428
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,010
{\an2}She plays the marvellous Miss Maisel.
429
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:47,990
{\an2}Great show, right?
430
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,430
{\an2}It's an awesome show.
431
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,570
{\an2}And I did a movie with her
{\an2}a few years ago.
432
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:52,690
{\an2}So I decided to say hi.
433
00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:55,210
{\an2}I was like, Oh my God, Rachel,
{\an2}it's so great to see you.
434
00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:56,880
{\an2}Congratulations on everything.
435
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,000
{\an2}And she was like, ohh OK.
436
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:02,260
{\an2}I'm like, OK, she probably
{\an2}just forgot who I was.
437
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,897
{\an2}I'm like, look, we did a movie
{\an2}like six years ago
438
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:05,687
{\an2}called Patriots Day.
439
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,290
{\an2}You were awesome in that movie.
440
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:10,230
{\an2}I just wanna congratulate you
{\an2}on everything you've done so far.
441
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,660
{\an2}And she was like, ohh yeah, sure.
442
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,500
{\an2}And I'm like, ohh really?
443
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,110
{\an2}Is the marvellous Miss Maisel
{\an2}a bitch?
444
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:28,860
{\an2}But I wasn't gonna act
{\an2}out of pocket.
445
00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:29,920
{\an2}I was there to represent.
446
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,360
{\an2}So I was very nice.
447
00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:33,680
{\an2}I was just like, ohh, it's OK.
448
00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:34,980
{\an2}You just don't remember.
449
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:37,147
{\an2}Anyways, I just want to congratulate you
450
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:39,797
{\an2}for all the nominations
{\an2}on marvellous Miss Maisel.
451
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:41,020
{\an2}You're awesome.
452
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:44,980
{\an2}And she was like, ohh,
{\an2}I'm not Rachel Brosnahan.
453
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,830
{\an2}I'm Evan Rachel Wood
{\an2}from Westworld.
454
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:54,420
{\an2}And I was like, holy shit.
455
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,900
{\an2}I'm the racist person here.
456
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,210
{\an2}I think all white people
{\an2}look alike.
457
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:05,780
{\an2}Everybody in the front row
{\an2}was judging me.
458
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,310
{\an2}Johnstone was staring me down.
459
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,220
{\an2}I'm like, you're bastard.
460
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,120
{\an2}You can't even stand.
461
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:11,940
{\an2}And I didn't know what to do, right?
462
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,057
{\an2}I was profusely sweating,
463
00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:14,287
{\an2}my face was flushed red,
464
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:15,657
{\an2}and so I was just like, Oh my God,
465
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:16,777
{\an2}I am so sorry.
466
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,130
{\an2}But either way,
{\an2}it's so nice to meet you.
467
00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:20,370
{\an2}My name is Aquafina.
468
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:21,150
{\an2}And then I just.
469
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:26,560
{\an2}That's right.
470
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,790
{\an2}That's why it's good to have
{\an2}other representation out there.
471
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,640
{\an2}Asian people, we don't all look alike
{\an2}until we need to.
472
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,850
{\an2}I got a girlfriend now.
473
00:19:45,070 --> 00:19:45,360
{\an2}Thank you.
474
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,670
{\an2}I love her very much, man.
475
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,090
{\an2}She's an amazing person.
476
00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:51,440
{\an2}She's very successful.
477
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,460
{\an2}My girlfriend's a venture capitalist.
478
00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:56,020
{\an2}Yeah, fucking jackpot, right?
479
00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:56,430
{\an2}You know.
480
00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:58,480
{\an2}It's great.
481
00:19:58,490 --> 00:19:59,640
{\an2}It's great for you guys.
482
00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:01,330
{\an2}I don't know what a venture
{\an2}capital means.
483
00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:03,840
{\an2}It means that I'm the poorest
{\an2}person she knows.
484
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,290
{\an2}And what that really means
{\an2}is I'm her sugar baby.
485
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:09,050
{\an2}So it's great.
486
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:10,210
{\an2}That's right.
487
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:10,950
{\an2}That's right.
488
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:12,230
{\an2}Gender equality.
489
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:13,550
{\an2}Equality talking about.
490
00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:15,750
{\an2}It's time for men
{\an2}to get taken care of.
491
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:16,360
{\an2}That's right.
492
00:20:16,890 --> 00:20:18,300
{\an2}See that brother High fiving is go.
493
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:19,340
{\an2}Appreciate you, man.
494
00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:20,440
{\an2}Fellow sugar baby.
495
00:20:20,450 --> 00:20:20,840
{\an2}Come on.
496
00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:22,120
{\an2}That's right.
497
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,000
{\an2}That's right.
498
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:23,890
{\an2}I love her, man.
499
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:24,680
{\an2}I'm trying to.
500
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,050
{\an2}I'm trying to be
{\an2}a better boyfriend.
501
00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:26,830
{\an2}I'm new to this.
502
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,520
{\an2}Like, boyfriend stuff, right.
503
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:31,080
{\an2}I used to take everything
{\an2}so personally.
504
00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:32,447
{\an2}Like, every time we'll get into a fight,
505
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:34,407
{\an2}I'm like, hey, why are you why
{\an2}are you mad at
506
00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:34,787
{\an2}me?
507
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:37,700
{\an2}I'm the perfect boyfriend.
508
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:40,250
{\an2}Wrong answer.
509
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,157
{\an2}Fellas, fellas,
{\an2}if your girl's mad at you,
510
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,537
{\an2}you can't take that shit personally
{\an2}because
511
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,687
{\an2}it's not even about you.
512
00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:51,040
{\an2}She doesn't even know
{\an2}what she's mad about.
513
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:54,340
{\an2}You just happen to be there,
{\an2}you know what I mean?
514
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,210
{\an2}You're a victim
{\an2}of circumstance, man.
515
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:01,627
{\an2}So it's not your job
{\an2}to engage in an argument,
516
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:03,997
{\an2}it's your job to diffuse the situation.
517
00:21:04,390 --> 00:21:06,290
{\an2}You gotta jiu jitsu that shit.
518
00:21:07,510 --> 00:21:09,610
{\an2}Until you get to the bottom
{\an2}of the real problem.
519
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:12,530
{\an2}Like the other way she was mad
{\an2}at me about some.
520
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:15,860
{\an2}She was like, babe, I feel like we don't
{\an2}even like go on date nights anymore.
521
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:17,680
{\an2}I'm like OK.
522
00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:20,770
{\an2}I hear you.
523
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:24,410
{\an2}But what's really going on?
524
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,987
{\an2}And she was like, well, sometimes
{\an2}I feel like you're like
525
00:21:32,070 --> 00:21:32,847
{\an2}hanging out your buddies
526
00:21:32,930 --> 00:21:32,997
{\an2}more
527
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,347
{\an2}than you, like, hang out with me
{\an2}and I'm like, OK.
528
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:38,920
{\an2}I hear you.
529
00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:41,990
{\an2}But what's really going on?
530
00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:49,800
{\an2}Unless she takes a deep breath.
531
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:50,990
{\an2}And she was like.
532
00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:55,160
{\an2}Remember last week of my birthday?
533
00:21:55,170 --> 00:21:57,060
{\an2}Heather brought a cousin
{\an2}and she didn't know my name.
534
00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,460
{\an2}I was like, see,
{\an2}that's your problem right there.
535
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,070
{\an2}You gonna do with me?
536
00:22:05,230 --> 00:22:06,660
{\an2}Heather Cousins,
{\an2}a bitch, you know.
537
00:22:06,670 --> 00:22:07,260
{\an2}Fuck her, man.
538
00:22:07,270 --> 00:22:09,210
{\an2}Let's focus on energy on her.
539
00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:14,187
{\an2}Trying to be a better communicator,
540
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:17,547
{\an2}man, my girl always wants me
{\an2}to talk about my feelings.
541
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:21,060
{\an2}She's like, Babe, I wish you'd talk
{\an2}about your feelings more.
542
00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:23,160
{\an2}I'm like, I feel fine.
543
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,290
{\an2}What more do you want me to say?
544
00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:27,710
{\an2}I don't know.
545
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:28,930
{\an2}I'm not that emotionally involved.
546
00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:29,630
{\an2}I don't know what else.
547
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,370
{\an2}I'm fine.
548
00:22:31,380 --> 00:22:33,097
{\an2}But don't keep asking me that,
549
00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:35,517
{\an2}cause the fifth time you asked me
{\an2}that I might not be
550
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:35,827
{\an2}fun.
551
00:22:37,270 --> 00:22:38,020
{\an2}The fifth time?
552
00:22:38,030 --> 00:22:38,420
{\an2}He asked me.
553
00:22:38,430 --> 00:22:40,430
{\an2}That's just some dark shit
{\an2}that's gonna come out.
554
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:42,900
{\an2}It's like babe,
{\an2}how are you feeling?
555
00:22:42,910 --> 00:22:43,480
{\an2}I don't know.
556
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,887
{\an2}I'm angry all the time
{\an2}because my dad yelled at me
557
00:22:46,970 --> 00:22:48,457
{\an2}after ping pong practise.
558
00:22:53,020 --> 00:22:55,270
{\an2}See, guys and girls
{\an2}were just different, Man.
559
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,490
{\an2}Girls are so emotionally evolved.
560
00:22:58,130 --> 00:22:59,990
{\an2}You know, we even
{\an2}hang out different.
561
00:23:00,350 --> 00:23:01,980
{\an2}One night I came home early.
562
00:23:02,050 --> 00:23:04,440
{\an2}My girl was having
{\an2}a girls night at the house.
563
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,580
{\an2}I've never seen anything like that.
564
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:09,900
{\an2}The TV was off.
565
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:12,620
{\an2}7 girls sitting in a circle.
566
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,040
{\an2}Making direct eye contact
{\an2}with each other.
567
00:23:17,390 --> 00:23:19,560
{\an2}Every candle in the house was lit.
568
00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:22,220
{\an2}And I walked by.
569
00:23:22,230 --> 00:23:24,420
{\an2}I'm like, what is this witchcraft?
570
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,350
{\an2}And I just backed
{\an2}into my own room.
571
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,610
{\an2}Fellas, we hang out.
572
00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:34,560
{\an2}Different guys, when we hang out,
{\an2}we sit in a straight line.
573
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:40,350
{\an2}TV on Full blast Zero eye
{\an2}contact with each other.
574
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:42,930
{\an2}My girl came home early.
575
00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:43,800
{\an2}She was so confused.
576
00:23:43,810 --> 00:23:47,410
{\an2}She's like, babe, you guys
{\an2}didn't talk for like 6 hours.
577
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,330
{\an2}I'm like, yeah, isn't
{\an2}that fucking awesome?
578
00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:54,240
{\an2}That's us.
579
00:23:54,950 --> 00:23:55,920
{\an2}That's guys.
580
00:23:58,450 --> 00:24:01,840
{\an2}When the relationship is important
{\an2}to speak the same language,
581
00:24:02,246 --> 00:24:03,017
{\an2}my girl asked me.
582
00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:05,760
{\an2}She was like, babe,
{\an2}what's your love language?
583
00:24:07,310 --> 00:24:08,210
{\an2}I'm like what?
584
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:25,710
{\an2}I was raised by Asian parents.
585
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,200
{\an2}I've never heard one word
{\an2}of affirmation of my life.
586
00:24:33,010 --> 00:24:34,080
{\an2}Nobody ever told me.
587
00:24:36,210 --> 00:24:37,640
{\an2}They're like, don't fuck it up.
588
00:24:40,790 --> 00:24:43,120
{\an2}Their love language
{\an2}is verbal abuse.
589
00:24:47,180 --> 00:24:49,440
{\an2}Trying to figure out
{\an2}my love languages.
590
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,270
{\an2}Physical touch, right?
591
00:24:54,020 --> 00:24:55,630
{\an2}Nobody touched me until I was 22.
592
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:58,850
{\an2}I'm not familiar with that.
593
00:25:01,110 --> 00:25:03,030
{\an2}What are some other love languages?
594
00:25:06,210 --> 00:25:07,210
{\an2}Active Sir
595
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:08,687
{\an2}well.
596
00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:16,350
{\an2}I like, I like every woman
{\an2}just screaming out at their partner,
597
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,607
{\an2}active service.
598
00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:20,450
{\an2}Gift giving.
599
00:25:26,180 --> 00:25:27,930
{\an2}I think gift giving
{\an2}is a good one.
600
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:28,230
{\an2}OK?
601
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,710
{\an2}I love giving gifts to my girl.
602
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:30,950
{\an2}She loves giving gifts to me.
603
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:32,250
{\an2}We love that, right?
604
00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:34,790
{\an2}Like for example,
{\an2}I love buying my girl's shoes.
605
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,290
{\an2}She loves shoes and we wear
{\an2}the same shoe size.
606
00:25:40,470 --> 00:25:42,780
{\an2}The perfect gift for the whole family,
{\an2}you know, I mean.
607
00:25:43,590 --> 00:25:44,810
{\an2}These are her shoes tonight.
608
00:25:44,820 --> 00:25:46,040
{\an2}You know it's me.
609
00:25:46,050 --> 00:25:46,410
{\an2}Perfect.
610
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,230
{\an2}That's right.
611
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:52,900
{\an2}And in return, I let her wear
{\an2}all of my Jordans.
612
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:56,410
{\an2}Yeah guys, you guys know
{\an2}that's love cause Jordans too.
613
00:25:56,420 --> 00:25:58,650
{\an2}Guys, that's our most
{\an2}prized possession.
614
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,050
{\an2}If we let you slip into our Jordans,
615
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:04,337
{\an2}that's like you letting us slip
{\an2}in to you, you know?
616
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:05,970
{\an2}Same thing.
617
00:26:09,620 --> 00:26:11,577
{\an2}But sometimes, Sometimes
{\an2}I get a little nervous
618
00:26:11,660 --> 00:26:13,217
{\an2}because her feet are a little dirty,
619
00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:13,517
{\an2}OK.
620
00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:18,297
{\an2}And she's a white girl,
{\an2}so her feet extra dirty,
621
00:26:18,380 --> 00:26:19,317
{\an2}like, you know, I mean, like,
{\an2}I don't
622
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:19,527
{\an2}know.
623
00:26:20,990 --> 00:26:21,410
{\an2}Wipe you?
624
00:26:21,420 --> 00:26:23,540
{\an2}I don't know what the fuck
{\an2}you guys do your feet all day.
625
00:26:24,950 --> 00:26:26,647
{\an2}You guys just barefoot all the time,
626
00:26:26,730 --> 00:26:28,947
{\an2}frolicking around like Jenny
{\an2}from Forrest Gump,
627
00:26:29,030 --> 00:26:29,337
{\an2}you know?
628
00:26:32,850 --> 00:26:33,310
{\an2}Why people?
629
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,210
{\an2}You guys got some strong ass feet, man.
630
00:26:36,510 --> 00:26:39,800
{\an2}Just 120 degrees
{\an2}outside hot cement, just like.
631
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,290
{\an2}Y'all got some hunter
{\an2}gatherer feet.
632
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:51,440
{\an2}See, every culture,
{\an2}we got different feet etiquette, alright?
633
00:26:52,150 --> 00:26:54,130
{\an2}Why people want to get in touch
{\an2}with Mother Earth.
634
00:26:54,140 --> 00:26:54,650
{\an2}That's great.
635
00:26:57,050 --> 00:26:58,207
{\an2}Black people, on the other hand,
636
00:26:58,290 --> 00:27:00,557
{\an2}I live with a black roommate
{\an2}for six years.
637
00:27:00,710 --> 00:27:02,140
{\an2}Never saw his toes once.
638
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,500
{\an2}He came out the shower
{\an2}with socks on, man.
639
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,410
{\an2}You got a sock draw
{\an2}on there, brother?
640
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,647
{\an2}Asian people, you guys know the rule
641
00:27:16,730 --> 00:27:17,657
{\an2}When you come into the house,
642
00:27:17,740 --> 00:27:18,417
{\an2}you take your shoes
643
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:18,887
{\an2}off, right?
644
00:27:18,980 --> 00:27:20,470
{\an2}You're like, well, know that, Yeah.
645
00:27:21,130 --> 00:27:21,700
{\an2}Yeah.
646
00:27:22,870 --> 00:27:25,400
{\an2}But but our feet actually
{\an2}never touched the floor.
647
00:27:26,170 --> 00:27:27,727
{\an2}Because when you take a
{\an2}shoes off at the house,
648
00:27:27,810 --> 00:27:29,077
{\an2}we've got two pair of house shoes ready
649
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:29,377
{\an2}for you.
650
00:27:30,830 --> 00:27:32,107
{\an2}And then when you walk outside,
651
00:27:32,190 --> 00:27:33,597
{\an2}we got two pair of Crocs ready for you.
652
00:27:34,900 --> 00:27:36,747
{\an2}And then when you come
{\an2}back in the bedroom,
653
00:27:36,830 --> 00:27:38,477
{\an2}we got two other pair
{\an2}of slippers that we
654
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,037
{\an2}stole from a hotel in Vegas.
655
00:27:45,660 --> 00:27:46,390
{\an2}We're ready.
656
00:27:47,390 --> 00:27:48,780
{\an2}Our feet never touched the floor.
657
00:27:48,790 --> 00:27:50,100
{\an2}We got baby sore feet.
658
00:27:54,050 --> 00:27:56,070
{\an2}I think Asian people
{\an2}almost natural love.
659
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,380
{\an2}Language is acts
{\an2}of service, right?
660
00:27:58,390 --> 00:28:00,110
{\an2}That's what our parents
{\an2}did to us.
661
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:01,737
{\an2}They might never say I love you,
662
00:28:01,820 --> 00:28:03,987
{\an2}but they did a lot of nice things for us.
663
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,050
{\an2}Every every night.
664
00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:06,590
{\an2}I don't care how busy my parents were,
665
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,667
{\an2}they'll come home
{\an2}and make a 5 course meal.
666
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,330
{\an2}That's love right there, right?
667
00:28:10,380 --> 00:28:10,630
{\an2}Yeah.
668
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:11,190
{\an2}Give it up for.
669
00:28:11,340 --> 00:28:12,000
{\an2}Yeah, give it up.
670
00:28:12,010 --> 00:28:12,490
{\an2}That's right.
671
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,890
{\an2}In our culture, food is love.
672
00:28:18,900 --> 00:28:20,110
{\an2}I love cooking for my girl.
673
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:21,530
{\an2}We love cooking together.
674
00:28:21,580 --> 00:28:22,790
{\an2}Food is love.
675
00:28:22,860 --> 00:28:25,710
{\an2}That's why I hate watching
{\an2}all these reality cooking shows
676
00:28:25,940 --> 00:28:27,337
{\an2}when they make food so freaking
677
00:28:27,420 --> 00:28:27,997
{\an2}stressful.
678
00:28:29,190 --> 00:28:31,807
{\an2}Like all these guys
{\an2}will aggressive tattoos
679
00:28:31,890 --> 00:28:33,387
{\an2}and they just sweating it
{\an2}in the kitchen.
680
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,830
{\an2}They're like, yes, chef,
{\an2}yes, chef, 2 minutes, 2 minutes.
681
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:37,600
{\an2}It's still wrong.
682
00:28:37,610 --> 00:28:40,600
{\an2}It's still wrong and he's
{\an2}just making fucking scallops.
683
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,650
{\an2}There's two items on the menu
{\an2}and they can't handle that shit.
684
00:28:47,210 --> 00:28:48,687
{\an2}You go to any Chinese restaurant,
685
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:51,017
{\an2}there's about 485 items
{\an2}on the menu.
686
00:28:52,970 --> 00:28:54,850
{\an2}And there's one dude
{\an2}back there in the kitchen.
687
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:57,610
{\an2}He's not a chef.
688
00:28:57,620 --> 00:28:59,140
{\an2}He's somebody's uncle
{\an2}from Hong Kong.
689
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,040
{\an2}And he knows how to make everything
{\an2}in under 30 seconds.
690
00:29:06,790 --> 00:29:08,860
{\an2}That guy's the real hero,
{\an2}you know what I mean?
691
00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:12,180
{\an2}He got a yellow wife beater
{\an2}that he brought from the old country.
692
00:29:13,310 --> 00:29:15,127
{\an2}Just chilling near the walk,
693
00:29:15,210 --> 00:29:16,797
{\an2}Cigarette in his mouth, just like.
694
00:29:31,860 --> 00:29:33,220
{\an2}That guy's a gangster, man.
695
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,890
{\an2}And he just presses casually
{\an2}and Cantonese, just like.
696
00:29:38,970 --> 00:29:40,140
{\an2}Do you?
697
00:29:46,340 --> 00:29:48,180
{\an2}Any of you guys speak Cantonese here?
698
00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:50,950
{\an2}Couple of you guys.
699
00:29:51,140 --> 00:29:52,120
{\an2}I was born in Hong Kong.
700
00:29:52,130 --> 00:29:53,250
{\an2}That's my first language.
701
00:29:53,260 --> 00:29:54,690
{\an2}I love that language, right?
702
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,957
{\an2}I think it's the most
{\an2}fun language to speak
703
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,017
{\an2}because it's the most fun language
{\an2}to cuss
704
00:29:59,100 --> 00:29:59,177
{\an2}in.
705
00:30:00,530 --> 00:30:03,327
{\an2}In Cantonese you can,
{\an2}just like Loki, casually cuss
706
00:30:03,410 --> 00:30:04,347
{\an2}like you go to Chinatown.
707
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,730
{\an2}You see like a nice old
{\an2}man walk by.
708
00:30:06,790 --> 00:30:08,700
{\an2}He would just be like ohh deal.
709
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,210
{\an2}Right, That sounds really nice, right?
710
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,177
{\an2}But what he actually said was like,
711
00:30:15,260 --> 00:30:16,537
{\an2}ohh, fuck your mother,
712
00:30:16,620 --> 00:30:18,087
{\an2}hope your whole family dies.
713
00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:22,030
{\an2}That's Kathy's, man.
714
00:30:23,140 --> 00:30:24,160
{\an2}You gotta love it.
715
00:30:24,260 --> 00:30:25,480
{\an2}You gotta love it, man.
716
00:30:28,210 --> 00:30:31,767
{\an2}In a relationship, I think it's important
{\an2}to know how you convey love,
717
00:30:31,850 --> 00:30:32,307
{\an2}but it's just
718
00:30:32,390 --> 00:30:35,027
{\an2}as important to know
{\an2}how you receive love.
719
00:30:35,150 --> 00:30:37,341
{\an2}You gotta be vulnerable
{\an2}and let your partner
720
00:30:37,424 --> 00:30:38,557
{\an2}do nice things for you.
721
00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:40,260
{\an2}See, I'm not very good at that.
722
00:30:40,350 --> 00:30:43,900
{\an2}I I'm terrible at, like directly asking
{\an2}for things that I want.
723
00:30:43,970 --> 00:30:46,220
{\an2}So instead I just drop little hints.
724
00:30:47,810 --> 00:30:49,700
{\an2}That's called being passive aggressive.
725
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,130
{\an2}Don't do that.
726
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:53,000
{\an2}Don't do that.
727
00:30:54,190 --> 00:30:57,460
{\an2}Like, for example, I love watching
{\an2}these YouTube videos
728
00:30:57,650 --> 00:30:59,727
{\an2}of Japanese housewives making
729
00:30:59,810 --> 00:31:00,727
{\an2}Bento boxes.
730
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:04,900
{\an2}It's very nice, very cute.
731
00:31:04,910 --> 00:31:06,950
{\an2}It's like a little ASMR, you know?
732
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,010
{\an2}It's just really nice.
733
00:31:08,020 --> 00:31:09,737
{\an2}Japanese woman wakes up
{\an2}at 6:00 AM every day
734
00:31:09,820 --> 00:31:11,567
{\an2}to make her working husband
{\an2}a Bento box.
735
00:31:12,610 --> 00:31:14,805
{\an2}But I can't ask my
{\an2}venture capitalist golfer
736
00:31:14,888 --> 00:31:15,917
{\an2}to maybe a Bento box.
737
00:31:17,060 --> 00:31:17,990
{\an2}I'm not an idiot.
738
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000
{\an2}I'm a sugar baby.
739
00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:21,290
{\an2}I know my role.
740
00:31:22,650 --> 00:31:26,090
{\an2}So instead of asking it directly,
{\an2}I just dropped little hints.
741
00:31:27,060 --> 00:31:28,780
{\an2}Like we'll be sitting
{\an2}on the couch together.
742
00:31:29,140 --> 00:31:30,570
{\an2}I just pull on my phone
743
00:31:30,820 --> 00:31:34,067
{\an2}and pretend I accidentally
{\an2}stumbled onto this video.
744
00:31:35,910 --> 00:31:39,310
{\an2}I'm like ohh what is this Ben tool boxes?
745
00:31:41,050 --> 00:31:42,310
{\an2}Oh my God it's so cute.
746
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:42,700
{\an2}What is that?
747
00:31:42,710 --> 00:31:43,560
{\an2}Like a rice ball shape?
748
00:31:43,570 --> 00:31:44,200
{\an2}Like a panda?
749
00:31:44,210 --> 00:31:45,260
{\an2}Look, look look look.
750
00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:46,890
{\an2}Wow.
751
00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:49,440
{\an2}So she makes this every day for him.
752
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:54,040
{\an2}Wow, she must love him so much.
753
00:31:56,700 --> 00:31:58,020
{\an2}I thought I was being slick.
754
00:31:59,410 --> 00:32:01,100
{\an2}Until she came out
{\an2}to one of my shows.
755
00:32:02,970 --> 00:32:04,450
{\an2}As you heard this joke.
756
00:32:05,930 --> 00:32:07,440
{\an2}And she was really upset, man.
757
00:32:07,450 --> 00:32:08,240
{\an2}And rightfully so.
758
00:32:08,250 --> 00:32:09,920
{\an2}I was just up here
{\an2}talking shit, right?
759
00:32:09,990 --> 00:32:10,580
{\an2}We went home.
760
00:32:10,590 --> 00:32:11,540
{\an2}We got into a big 5.
761
00:32:11,550 --> 00:32:14,080
{\an2}She was like, babe,
{\an2}that's bullshit, OK?
762
00:32:14,450 --> 00:32:15,400
{\an2}But want me do something?
763
00:32:15,410 --> 00:32:16,620
{\an2}Just ask me directly.
764
00:32:16,690 --> 00:32:18,880
{\an2}And you really want somebody
{\an2}to make you Bento boxes?
765
00:32:19,030 --> 00:32:21,320
{\an2}Why don't you just go find
{\an2}a Japanese woman?
766
00:32:23,450 --> 00:32:25,850
{\an2}I'm like, babe, I'm, I'm,
{\an2}I'm sorry you feel that way.
767
00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:27,100
{\an2}OK.
768
00:32:27,210 --> 00:32:28,770
{\an2}But I think you're missing
{\an2}the point.
769
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,360
{\an2}You don't have to be Japanese
{\an2}to make Bento boxes.
770
00:32:41,730 --> 00:32:42,090
{\an2}That's right.
771
00:32:42,930 --> 00:32:43,410
{\an2}That's right.
772
00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:48,570
{\an2}So now I'm making
{\an2}our mental boxes everyday.
773
00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:52,970
{\an2}How I show my love.
774
00:32:56,510 --> 00:32:57,847
{\an2}You gotta love the people around you,
775
00:32:57,930 --> 00:32:59,880
{\an2}gotta be nice to the people around you,
776
00:33:00,030 --> 00:33:00,747
{\an2}your partner,
777
00:33:00,830 --> 00:33:02,707
{\an2}your family, your friends.
778
00:33:03,420 --> 00:33:05,230
{\an2}You gotta keep the day
{\an2}ones around, man.
779
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:07,210
{\an2}You know everybody,
{\an2}when I was coming up in the game,
780
00:33:07,340 --> 00:33:08,147
{\an2}they gave me this advice.
781
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,830
{\an2}They're like, hey Jimmy,
{\an2}you wanna be successful,
782
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,357
{\an2}hang out with successful people
{\an2}because
783
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,447
{\an2}birds of a feather flock together.
784
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:16,280
{\an2}That's right, man.
785
00:33:16,290 --> 00:33:16,730
{\an2}That's right.
786
00:33:16,740 --> 00:33:18,190
{\an2}You guys heard this before, right?
787
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,450
{\an2}It's fucking bullshit, OK?
788
00:33:21,870 --> 00:33:23,840
{\an2}Successful people
{\an2}are so boring.
789
00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:26,537
{\an2}I hung out successful people,
{\an2}they got successful job,
790
00:33:26,620 --> 00:33:27,717
{\an2}they got successful family.
791
00:33:27,810 --> 00:33:30,050
{\an2}They don't have time to hang out
{\an2}with mediocre ass.
792
00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:36,280
{\an2}So my real advice to everyone
{\an2}is to find yourself more loser friends.
793
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:38,410
{\an2}That's right.
794
00:33:38,420 --> 00:33:38,880
{\an2}That's right.
795
00:33:38,890 --> 00:33:39,250
{\an2}That's right.
796
00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:41,750
{\an2}I see some of you guys clapping
{\an2}the ones that are not you.
797
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,250
{\an2}Probably the loser friend,
{\an2}which is fine.
798
00:33:43,260 --> 00:33:43,710
{\an2}I love you.
799
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,290
{\an2}I love you.
800
00:33:47,930 --> 00:33:49,000
{\an2}I love all my friends, man.
801
00:33:49,010 --> 00:33:49,460
{\an2}All my day.
802
00:33:49,470 --> 00:33:53,300
{\an2}Once I used to live in a one bedroom
{\an2}apartment with three comedians.
803
00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:54,790
{\an2}Yeah, ain't nothing
{\an2}wrong with that.
804
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,440
{\an2}I was proud of that.
805
00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:55,970
{\an2}It was all good.
806
00:33:55,980 --> 00:33:58,540
{\an2}They still my close friends,
{\an2}One of my best friends.
807
00:33:58,550 --> 00:33:59,700
{\an2}His name is Guam.
808
00:33:59,710 --> 00:34:00,880
{\an2}Guam Felix.
809
00:34:00,950 --> 00:34:02,260
{\an2}Yeah, he's a comedian.
810
00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:05,000
{\an2}He's named after the island
{\an2}he was born on.
811
00:34:05,330 --> 00:34:08,100
{\an2}Guam, like, you know, you kind of hood
812
00:34:08,270 --> 00:34:10,187
{\an2}when you named after the island
{\an2}you were born
813
00:34:10,270 --> 00:34:10,447
{\an2}on.
814
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:13,037
{\an2}Like if I came out tonight
815
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,247
{\an2}and they introduced me
{\an2}as Hong Kong Jimmy.
816
00:34:18,980 --> 00:34:20,900
{\an2}I'll probably be selling drugs
{\an2}outside, you know, I mean.
817
00:34:24,180 --> 00:34:25,960
{\an2}But was one of my greatest friends,
{\an2}man.
818
00:34:25,970 --> 00:34:26,690
{\an2}He's just a good dude.
819
00:34:26,700 --> 00:34:28,750
{\an2}Just happy go around guy, you know,
820
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,467
{\an2}he trashed in my living room
{\an2}for months and I asked
821
00:34:31,550 --> 00:34:33,487
{\an2}him like, hey Guam,
{\an2}you got any plans?
822
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,470
{\an2}You gonna go get
{\an2}a job or something?
823
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,060
{\an2}He was like, Nah, thi
824
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,767
{\an2}I'm gonna get on that government
{\an2}disability, homie.
825
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,990
{\an2}And I'm like, OK,
{\an2}are you disabled?
826
00:34:44,140 --> 00:34:45,730
{\an2}He was like, yeah,
{\an2}I think so dog.
827
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,800
{\an2}I threw out my back
{\an2}when I was 19, homie.
828
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,670
{\an2}I'm like, OK,
{\an2}you're 42 right now.
829
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,260
{\an2}I don't think that's gonna
{\an2}work out for you.
830
00:34:53,950 --> 00:34:54,760
{\an2}See, Guam is great.
831
00:34:54,770 --> 00:34:57,487
{\an2}He lives by the Creed where anything
{\an2}good that happens to him,
832
00:34:57,570 --> 00:34:58,567
{\an2}he makes sure that thank
833
00:34:58,650 --> 00:34:59,457
{\an2}God, right?
834
00:34:59,550 --> 00:35:00,180
{\an2}That's great.
835
00:35:00,270 --> 00:35:02,147
{\an2}And anything bad that happens to him,
836
00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:03,997
{\an2}he makes sure to blame the government.
837
00:35:05,310 --> 00:35:07,420
{\an2}It's a great way to live
{\an2}that when you take 0
838
00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:08,617
{\an2}personal responsibility.
839
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,650
{\an2}Like he'll say, shit like ohh damn,
840
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:13,807
{\an2}they gave me a speeding ticket
841
00:35:13,890 --> 00:35:14,897
{\an2}and took away my licence
842
00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:15,487
{\an2}style.
843
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,870
{\an2}You see, that's how
{\an2}the government fucks you.
844
00:35:19,690 --> 00:35:21,420
{\an2}I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure
{\an2}that's how you fuck yourself.
845
00:35:23,460 --> 00:35:25,857
{\an2}And then on the positive side
{\an2}he'll say things like
846
00:35:25,940 --> 00:35:28,157
{\an2}I just wanna thank God cause
{\an2}he let
847
00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:29,577
{\an2}me stay with you dog.
848
00:35:31,610 --> 00:35:33,680
{\an2}I'm like, no, you thank me,
{\an2}motherfucker.
849
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:37,230
{\an2}I let you stay with me.
850
00:35:42,900 --> 00:35:43,890
{\an2}My love Guan man.
851
00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:45,797
{\an2}He is a happy go lucky guy,
852
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,977
{\an2}doesn't have a lot
{\an2}of ambition in life.
853
00:35:48,100 --> 00:35:50,240
{\an2}His dream in life
{\an2}is to win the lottery.
854
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,250
{\an2}His catch phrase is when I win
{\an2}the lottery, die.
855
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,217
{\an2}But he doesn't have good goals
{\an2}for when he does win the lottery,
856
00:36:00,300 --> 00:36:00,857
{\an2}because he will say
857
00:36:00,940 --> 00:36:02,577
{\an2}shit like when I win
{\an2}the lottery.
858
00:36:03,290 --> 00:36:05,200
{\an2}We're going to the buffet, though.
859
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:10,840
{\an2}I'm like, why we do
{\an2}that right now, bro?
860
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:15,760
{\an2}But Guan was a man of his word.
861
00:36:15,810 --> 00:36:17,480
{\an2}Not only would he buy lottery tickets,
862
00:36:17,570 --> 00:36:19,977
{\an2}he stood in line
{\an2}in every single game show in
863
00:36:20,060 --> 00:36:22,170
{\an2}LA to try to win his lottery
864
00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:24,747
{\an2}and he finally got on this game show
{\an2}called Let's Make a
865
00:36:24,830 --> 00:36:24,957
{\an2}Deal.
866
00:36:25,050 --> 00:36:26,200
{\an2}Have you guys seen that?
867
00:36:26,450 --> 00:36:28,647
{\an2}Yes, the show that comes
{\an2}on hosted by Wayne Brady
868
00:36:28,730 --> 00:36:29,967
{\an2}before The Price Is Right.
869
00:36:30,370 --> 00:36:32,760
{\an2}But in order to get on that show,
{\an2}you have to wear a costume.
870
00:36:33,230 --> 00:36:35,620
{\an2}And Guam is like a big
{\an2}Pacific Islander brother,
871
00:36:35,770 --> 00:36:37,417
{\an2}so it's costume options were limited.
872
00:36:38,790 --> 00:36:40,320
{\an2}He could either be Moana.
873
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,290
{\an2}Or the Rock, you know.
874
00:36:44,260 --> 00:36:46,290
{\an2}So he decided to make
{\an2}his own costume.
875
00:36:46,620 --> 00:36:48,590
{\an2}He cut up a blue bed sheet,
876
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,250
{\an2}draped it over his body,
877
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,437
{\an2}and then he got a Chinese rice Patty
878
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:52,737
{\an2}hat.
879
00:36:53,910 --> 00:36:54,920
{\an2}And he just wore it.
880
00:36:55,820 --> 00:36:57,270
{\an2}I'm like, God, what the fuck?
881
00:36:58,290 --> 00:36:59,047
{\an2}What are you dressed up as,
882
00:36:59,130 --> 00:37:00,237
{\an2}Ho Chi Minh or some shit?
883
00:37:01,740 --> 00:37:03,630
{\an2}And he was like, no dog.
884
00:37:03,740 --> 00:37:06,740
{\an2}I'm master rating for
{\an2}Mortal Kombat, homie.
885
00:37:10,790 --> 00:37:14,447
{\an2}This is a true story,
{\an2}he went on national TV,
886
00:37:14,530 --> 00:37:16,037
{\an2}dressed up as masqueraded.
887
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,830
{\an2}And this is actually
{\an2}an inspirational story.
888
00:37:20,510 --> 00:37:21,740
{\an2}He actually won.
889
00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:24,430
{\an2}Yeah.
890
00:37:27,030 --> 00:37:29,240
{\an2}He won the Big Deal
{\an2}of the Day.
891
00:37:29,300 --> 00:37:31,690
{\an2}It was a $5000 living room set.
892
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,300
{\an2}Which was perfect
{\an2}for my living room.
893
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:39,950
{\an2}But he dreamed big.
894
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,370
{\an2}He want to win
{\an2}as big prize.
895
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,767
{\an2}So he traded it in for the
{\an2}Super deal of the week
896
00:37:43,850 --> 00:37:45,337
{\an2}and I'm like this fucking idiot.
897
00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:50,021
{\an2}He traded it in for one
{\an2}out of three chance
898
00:37:50,104 --> 00:37:51,617
{\an2}to win $50,000 cash,
899
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:52,687
{\an2}one of the biggest prizes
900
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:53,847
{\an2}on the show ever.
901
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,330
{\an2}And he won.
902
00:37:56,790 --> 00:37:58,090
{\an2}That was his watering.
903
00:37:58,200 --> 00:37:59,770
{\an2}His dream came true.
904
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:01,070
{\an2}I was watching TV.
905
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,750
{\an2}It's the most magical moment.
906
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,317
{\an2}Money start falling down
{\an2}on his rice Paddy hat
907
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,277
{\an2}and he was so happy.
908
00:38:06,370 --> 00:38:08,350
{\an2}He started doing jumping jacks and shit
909
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,527
{\an2}and start swimming in the pool of money.
910
00:38:10,740 --> 00:38:11,470
{\an2}And I was watching.
911
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,530
{\an2}I'm like, I knew this motherfucker
{\an2}is not disabled.
912
00:38:13,540 --> 00:38:14,140
{\an2}Look it up.
913
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:18,620
{\an2}He's very capable.
914
00:38:19,940 --> 00:38:21,600
{\an2}They start crying on national TV.
915
00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:22,390
{\an2}He was so happy.
916
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,870
{\an2}And Wayne Brady was like,
{\an2}go on, congratulations.
917
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,450
{\an2}What are you gonna do
{\an2}with that $50,000?
918
00:38:27,540 --> 00:38:30,130
{\an2}And he was like,
{\an2}we got through the buffet dog.
919
00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:35,070
{\an2}Right.
920
00:38:39,540 --> 00:38:41,170
{\an2}That's a good friend, man.
921
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,460
{\an2}That's why you keep
{\an2}your friends around.
922
00:38:44,170 --> 00:38:47,040
{\an2}He went from the biggest loser
{\an2}I knew to the biggest winner I know.
923
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:50,750
{\an2}Took care of all his boys,
{\an2}took us to a lot of buffets.
924
00:38:52,470 --> 00:38:55,247
{\an2}He even took us to the
{\an2}fanciest restaurant he knew,
925
00:38:55,330 --> 00:38:56,357
{\an2}Buca de Beppo.
926
00:38:58,100 --> 00:38:59,030
{\an2}It was awesome.
927
00:38:59,730 --> 00:39:02,590
{\an2}He was Pauling, but that money
{\an2}didn't last long.
928
00:39:03,420 --> 00:39:05,330
{\an2}That 50 grand last about three months.
929
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,950
{\an2}And not only that,
{\an2}he didn't pay any taxes on it.
930
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,190
{\an2}So now you also IRS another 20
{\an2}on top of that shit.
931
00:39:13,540 --> 00:39:14,850
{\an2}And I'm like, going this is horrible.
932
00:39:14,860 --> 00:39:16,420
{\an2}You worse off than you ever were.
933
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,777
{\an2}And all he said to me was like, see,
934
00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:20,687
{\an2}that's how the government fucks you, dog.
935
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:25,690
{\an2}OK.
936
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,470
{\an2}Keep your close friends around
{\an2}and save you money people.
937
00:39:34,350 --> 00:39:36,360
{\an2}That's only like watching
{\an2}real people game shows.
938
00:39:36,370 --> 00:39:38,800
{\an2}I hate watching Celebrity Family Feud
939
00:39:39,020 --> 00:39:40,927
{\an2}because they always make
{\an2}the celebrity choose a
940
00:39:41,010 --> 00:39:42,517
{\an2}charity and donate money.
941
00:39:42,810 --> 00:39:44,730
{\an2}I'm like, some of us
{\an2}want to keep our money, man.
942
00:39:45,780 --> 00:39:48,570
{\an2}And look, I know I sound
{\an2}like a bad person, OK?
943
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:49,990
{\an2}But I love helping people.
944
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,140
{\an2}I love the concept
{\an2}of donating money.
945
00:39:55,180 --> 00:39:56,270
{\an2}I just can't do it.
946
00:39:59,780 --> 00:40:00,600
{\an2}I want to.
947
00:40:01,620 --> 00:40:02,870
{\an2}But my mom wouldn't let me.
948
00:40:04,770 --> 00:40:06,827
{\an2}Every time I've been
{\an2}just think about those,
949
00:40:06,910 --> 00:40:08,197
{\an2}any money she comes out of nowhere.
950
00:40:08,290 --> 00:40:09,060
{\an2}She's like who?
951
00:40:09,130 --> 00:40:10,010
{\an2}Who are you donating to?
952
00:40:11,170 --> 00:40:11,640
{\an2}I'm like Mom.
953
00:40:11,650 --> 00:40:13,920
{\an2}I don't know, like Save
{\an2}the Children Foundation.
954
00:40:13,970 --> 00:40:16,360
{\an2}She's like, you don't even know
{\an2}those children.
955
00:40:17,690 --> 00:40:19,280
{\an2}Children can be horrible.
956
00:40:20,740 --> 00:40:21,997
{\an2}OK, fine mom, I'll donate
957
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,430
{\an2}to help the hospitals like feet
{\an2}of hospital.com
958
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:24,917
{\an2}to help out
959
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,627
{\an2}all the nurses and doctors
{\an2}and she said OK Jimmy, OK.
960
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,730
{\an2}The doctors make more money than you.
961
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,330
{\an2}They should donate to you OK?
962
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,140
{\an2}They make a West Side feet
{\an2}of comedian.com right now.
963
00:40:43,870 --> 00:40:45,700
{\an2}She just killed trips me,
{\an2}you know?
964
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:48,150
{\an2}You donate to anyone.
965
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:49,130
{\an2}You donate to me.
966
00:40:50,630 --> 00:40:52,360
{\an2}I give a birth to you, OK?
967
00:40:54,180 --> 00:40:54,810
{\an2}Can you imagine?
968
00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:55,850
{\an2}I'm on Family Feud?
969
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:56,650
{\an2}Steve's like Jimmy.
970
00:40:56,660 --> 00:40:58,150
{\an2}What charity are you playing for?
971
00:40:58,220 --> 00:40:58,510
{\an2}Feetofcomedian.com.
972
00:41:01,700 --> 00:41:03,410
{\an2}All proceeds go to my mom.
973
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,517
{\an2}My mom's so tight with my money
974
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,527
{\an2}she wouldn't even let me
{\an2}buy her something nice.
975
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,360
{\an2}For last birthday,
{\an2}I bought a nice iPad.
976
00:41:12,370 --> 00:41:13,250
{\an2}Brand new iPad.
977
00:41:13,260 --> 00:41:14,870
{\an2}I thought I was a good Asian son, right?
978
00:41:15,610 --> 00:41:19,110
{\an2}And my mom was like, ohh no,
{\an2}it's too expensive.
979
00:41:19,490 --> 00:41:20,340
{\an2}I'm like mom, it's OK.
980
00:41:20,350 --> 00:41:21,120
{\an2}We're gonna afford it.
981
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:22,580
{\an2}Just just enjoy the iPad.
982
00:41:22,590 --> 00:41:25,680
{\an2}She was like, no, Jimmy,
{\an2}I please return it.
983
00:41:25,730 --> 00:41:28,260
{\an2}Return it and just give me the cash.
984
00:41:35,350 --> 00:41:36,040
{\an2}We're practical.
985
00:41:36,810 --> 00:41:37,910
{\an2}About the bottom line.
986
00:41:39,980 --> 00:41:42,710
{\an2}See, we live in a very
{\an2}frivolous society, man.
987
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,290
{\an2}Everybody loves to brag
{\an2}about how much shit they have,
988
00:41:45,380 --> 00:41:46,467
{\an2}how much money they make.
989
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:47,190
{\an2}We all brag.
990
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:48,390
{\an2}We are guilty of this.
991
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,950
{\an2}We all just do it
{\an2}in subtle different ways.
992
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:52,890
{\an2}Like white people for example.
993
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,890
{\an2}White people never brag
{\an2}about how much money they got.
994
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,200
{\an2}They always just brag
{\an2}about how expensive their life is.
995
00:42:00,430 --> 00:42:03,040
{\an2}Like Ohh, Joey
{\an2}just started private school.
996
00:42:03,050 --> 00:42:05,230
{\an2}It's so expensive.
997
00:42:05,870 --> 00:42:09,470
{\an2}And our remodel
{\an2}is totally going over budget.
998
00:42:10,450 --> 00:42:12,007
{\an2}Ohh and you wouldn't believe
999
00:42:12,090 --> 00:42:14,797
{\an2}how much money
{\an2}we spent going to Fiji.
1000
00:42:16,030 --> 00:42:18,660
{\an2}I'm like, OK, Katie,
{\an2}I see your life, OK?
1001
00:42:18,950 --> 00:42:19,960
{\an2}It's a luxury.
1002
00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:21,110
{\an2}It's good for you, OK?
1003
00:42:22,930 --> 00:42:25,880
{\an2}Black people, on the other hand,
{\an2}a lot more straightforward.
1004
00:42:25,930 --> 00:42:29,150
{\an2}Black people just tell you exactly
{\an2}how much money they spent on something.
1005
00:42:29,970 --> 00:42:30,670
{\an2}It's great.
1006
00:42:30,710 --> 00:42:33,480
{\an2}You guys seen it like my black friends
{\an2}or even like rappers, right?
1007
00:42:33,490 --> 00:42:34,140
{\an2}They love to brag.
1008
00:42:34,150 --> 00:42:36,120
{\an2}They're like this call 80,000.
1009
00:42:39,350 --> 00:42:40,900
{\an2}My momma's house 500,000.
1010
00:42:42,650 --> 00:42:45,050
{\an2}This chain $1,000,000 Man.
1011
00:42:46,250 --> 00:42:48,900
{\an2}I'm like, OK, you clearly don't have
{\an2}your priorities straight.
1012
00:42:50,790 --> 00:42:52,350
{\an2}Appreciate the honesty.
1013
00:42:54,050 --> 00:42:56,480
{\an2}People love to brag
{\an2}about how much money they spend.
1014
00:42:57,300 --> 00:43:00,990
{\an2}Asian people, on the other hand,
{\an2}we do the exact opposite.
1015
00:43:01,630 --> 00:43:02,357
{\an2}We love to brag
1016
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,267
{\an2}about how little money
{\an2}we spent on some shit.
1017
00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:07,460
{\an2}Because the art is in the savings,
1018
00:43:08,050 --> 00:43:09,577
{\an2}you never pay full price.
1019
00:43:11,020 --> 00:43:14,350
{\an2}Like my mom, her catch phrase
{\an2}is guess how much.
1020
00:43:15,730 --> 00:43:16,890
{\an2}That's how much?
1021
00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:20,470
{\an2}Yeah, that's what people.
1022
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:23,470
{\an2}You guys haven't played.
1023
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:27,550
{\an2}Guess how much my mom will come home
{\an2}with something new, like a watch.
1024
00:43:27,620 --> 00:43:28,510
{\an2}She'll be like Jimmy.
1025
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,040
{\an2}Jimmy.
1026
00:43:29,100 --> 00:43:30,130
{\an2}Guess how much?
1027
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:32,570
{\an2}Guess how much I'm like Mom.
1028
00:43:32,580 --> 00:43:32,950
{\an2}I don't know.
1029
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,650
{\an2}It's a very nice watch,
{\an2}like $5000.
1030
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,030
{\an2}And she was like, no.
1031
00:43:39,300 --> 00:43:42,410
{\an2}It's $200.00.
1032
00:43:42,540 --> 00:43:45,010
{\an2}Jimmy my horse, My horse,
{\an2}this horse.
1033
00:43:45,060 --> 00:43:46,070
{\an2}Guess how much?
1034
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,080
{\an2}Guess how much?
1035
00:43:47,420 --> 00:43:49,337
{\an2}Like mom, I don't know,
{\an2}you live in a very nice house,
1036
00:43:49,420 --> 00:43:50,487
{\an2}Like $1,000,000.
1037
00:43:50,660 --> 00:43:52,690
{\an2}She was like no.
1038
00:43:53,070 --> 00:43:54,100
{\an2}It's half off.
1039
00:43:54,110 --> 00:43:55,310
{\an2}Someone died in it.
1040
00:44:02,590 --> 00:44:04,097
{\an2}And if you know the rules of the game,
1041
00:44:04,180 --> 00:44:05,670
{\an2}you always gets high,
1042
00:44:05,850 --> 00:44:06,837
{\an2}so you make the other person
1043
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,277
{\an2}feel good about their purchases.
1044
00:44:09,050 --> 00:44:10,260
{\an2}Never guess too low.
1045
00:44:10,610 --> 00:44:11,420
{\an2}You ever guessed too low.
1046
00:44:11,430 --> 00:44:13,540
{\an2}That's the ultimate insult
{\an2}to an Asian person, OK?
1047
00:44:14,930 --> 00:44:16,780
{\an2}One time my mom came home
{\an2}with some new shoes.
1048
00:44:16,790 --> 00:44:17,680
{\an2}I guess too low.
1049
00:44:18,730 --> 00:44:20,410
{\an2}I've never seen her
{\an2}so disappointed in me.
1050
00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:22,630
{\an2}She was like Jimmy.
1051
00:44:22,740 --> 00:44:23,220
{\an2}Jimmy, yeah.
1052
00:44:24,170 --> 00:44:25,080
{\an2}Guess how much?
1053
00:44:25,510 --> 00:44:26,580
{\an2}Guess how much I'm like mom.
1054
00:44:26,590 --> 00:44:29,160
{\an2}I don't know, Very nice shoes
{\an2}like $200.00.
1055
00:44:29,220 --> 00:44:30,140
{\an2}She was like ohh.
1056
00:44:37,580 --> 00:44:39,290
{\an2}Do you even know about shoes?
1057
00:44:40,610 --> 00:44:42,540
{\an2}These are $500.00 Jimmy Choos.
1058
00:44:42,550 --> 00:44:44,820
{\an2}OK, better Jimmy than you.
1059
00:44:51,050 --> 00:44:52,670
{\an2}That's how we prank people.
1060
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,330
{\an2}You gotta love it, man.
1061
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,030
{\an2}I used to be embarrassed
{\an2}about all these things.
1062
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,450
{\an2}I thought my mom was cheap.
1063
00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:01,070
{\an2}She spoke with an accent.
1064
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,670
{\an2}She made me Chinese food.
1065
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:03,977
{\an2}But when I got older,
1066
00:45:04,060 --> 00:45:06,717
{\an2}I realised it's all those things
{\an2}that made me different
1067
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:07,137
{\an2}is what
1068
00:45:07,220 --> 00:45:08,127
{\an2}makes me interesting.
1069
00:45:08,220 --> 00:45:11,857
{\an2}Now the tightest turn, man,
{\an2}everybody wanna be more Asian,
1070
00:45:11,940 --> 00:45:12,647
{\an2}I'm telling you.
1071
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,250
{\an2}Yeah, that's right.
1072
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,540
{\an2}Everybody wanna be BTS.
1073
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:19,530
{\an2}Everybody wanna eat shallow bowl?
1074
00:45:20,660 --> 00:45:21,887
{\an2}And every parent I know
1075
00:45:21,970 --> 00:45:22,887
{\an2}is trying to send their kid
1076
00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,327
{\an2}to Chinese immersion school.
1077
00:45:25,170 --> 00:45:27,340
{\an2}Just in case we'll take over this shit,
{\an2}you know, I mean.
1078
00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:30,090
{\an2}Gotta be proud, man.
1079
00:45:30,100 --> 00:45:31,830
{\an2}You gotta be proud
{\an2}of how you grew up.
1080
00:45:31,900 --> 00:45:34,230
{\an2}Gotta be proud
{\an2}of your parents, right?
1081
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:35,270
{\an2}I'm a good Asian kid.
1082
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:36,430
{\an2}I'm great to my parents.
1083
00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:38,790
{\an2}I'll never, ever disrespect them.
1084
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,030
{\an2}In front of him,
{\an2}you know, I mean like.
1085
00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:47,210
{\an2}I want to give you guys
{\an2}a quick update on my dad.
1086
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:48,070
{\an2}Yep.
1087
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:48,980
{\an2}Richard Ohh Yang.
1088
00:45:48,990 --> 00:45:50,750
{\an2}Yeah, the superstar
{\an2}in the family.
1089
00:45:51,020 --> 00:45:51,660
{\an2}Yeah.
1090
00:45:53,150 --> 00:45:53,820
{\an2}Talk about it.
1091
00:45:53,830 --> 00:45:56,270
{\an2}My last special He became
{\an2}an actor, right?
1092
00:45:56,910 --> 00:45:57,740
{\an2}Yeah, yeah.
1093
00:45:57,750 --> 00:45:59,630
{\an2}Not because he loves the art.
1094
00:45:59,710 --> 00:46:01,040
{\an2}It's because it's so easy.
1095
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:01,900
{\an2}You can do it.
1096
00:46:01,910 --> 00:46:02,250
{\an2}I.
1097
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:06,160
{\an2}But now he's doing great.
1098
00:46:06,170 --> 00:46:07,130
{\an2}He's very successful.
1099
00:46:07,140 --> 00:46:09,130
{\an2}OK, he got his whole life
{\an2}turned around.
1100
00:46:09,140 --> 00:46:10,110
{\an2}You got out of retirement.
1101
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:14,860
{\an2}He's a full time actor now and now
{\an2}he wants to be an influencer.
1102
00:46:16,210 --> 00:46:18,960
{\an2}He just started his own IG account,
1103
00:46:19,104 --> 00:46:20,327
{\an2}which is just a nightmare.
1104
00:46:21,450 --> 00:46:23,330
{\an2}Because old people,
{\an2}I feel like they mean well.
1105
00:46:23,340 --> 00:46:26,710
{\an2}OK like my dad he means well
{\an2}but it just doesn't know how it works.
1106
00:46:27,140 --> 00:46:29,650
{\an2}Like his first post on Instagram
{\an2}is a very nice post.
1107
00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:34,090
{\an2}A beautiful picture of the sky,
{\an2}palm trees, birds flying by.
1108
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:35,530
{\an2}I'm like ohh this is nice.
1109
00:46:35,580 --> 00:46:39,910
{\an2}And then Scroll down to the caption
{\an2}and he wrote All Lives matter.
1110
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:43,550
{\an2}I'm like that.
1111
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:44,680
{\an2}What the fuck man like?
1112
00:46:46,100 --> 00:46:47,690
{\an2}You don't even know
{\an2}what that means.
1113
00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:49,040
{\an2}Why would you write that?
1114
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,957
{\an2}It was like, I know my life will matter,
1115
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,250
{\an2}your life will matter,
1116
00:46:53,460 --> 00:46:54,287
{\an2}the person life will
1117
00:46:54,370 --> 00:46:55,327
{\an2}matter, OK?
1118
00:46:55,460 --> 00:46:56,330
{\an2}Or life will matter.
1119
00:46:56,340 --> 00:46:57,890
{\an2}I'm like, that is not what it means.
1120
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,120
{\an2}I made him put his account
{\an2}on private, right?
1121
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:06,860
{\an2}Just like a good Tiger parent would.
1122
00:47:09,510 --> 00:47:11,297
{\an2}Because we know the
{\an2}rules that young people
1123
00:47:11,380 --> 00:47:13,167
{\an2}will see through the scams
{\an2}of Instagram,
1124
00:47:13,250 --> 00:47:13,617
{\an2}right?
1125
00:47:13,750 --> 00:47:15,727
{\an2}Like for example I follow sports centre,
1126
00:47:15,810 --> 00:47:18,667
{\an2}I understand the 1st 100 comments
{\an2}are all bots,
1127
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:20,047
{\an2}they're all fake right?
1128
00:47:20,140 --> 00:47:22,567
{\an2}Because there's always some IG booty model
1129
00:47:22,650 --> 00:47:24,747
{\an2}saying some stupid shit like ohh,
1130
00:47:24,830 --> 00:47:25,447
{\an2}I want something
1131
00:47:25,530 --> 00:47:27,097
{\an2}long and hard.
1132
00:47:28,650 --> 00:47:32,260
{\an2}This is obviously a scam,
{\an2}so one time I clicked on it.
1133
00:47:34,430 --> 00:47:37,200
{\an2}Just to see what's going on,
{\an2}you know, I mean, research.
1134
00:47:37,210 --> 00:47:37,940
{\an2}I just want to see.
1135
00:47:37,950 --> 00:47:39,250
{\an2}I just want to get
{\an2}to the bottom of it.
1136
00:47:39,980 --> 00:47:40,950
{\an2}So I clicked on it.
1137
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,070
{\an2}I was like, ohh this
{\an2}is obviously a scam.
1138
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,097
{\an2}It's this girl,
{\an2}she's following 7000 people
1139
00:47:46,180 --> 00:47:48,517
{\an2}but she only has one follower
{\an2}and I clicked
1140
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:49,847
{\an2}on one follows my dad.
1141
00:47:56,790 --> 00:47:57,910
{\an2}He's like, my life will matter.
1142
00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:59,500
{\an2}Her life matters too, OK?
1143
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:05,950
{\an2}My dad, just from
{\an2}a different generation.
1144
00:48:06,610 --> 00:48:08,760
{\an2}He is like a weird beauty standard.
1145
00:48:09,170 --> 00:48:11,800
{\an2}Like for us we just say things
{\an2}on very surface level.
1146
00:48:11,810 --> 00:48:15,460
{\an2}Just like, ohh, this person's attractive,
{\an2}this person's not right.
1147
00:48:15,610 --> 00:48:17,370
{\an2}My dad would get
{\an2}into the weeds.
1148
00:48:19,030 --> 00:48:21,410
{\an2}My dad will give you
{\an2}all the weird details.
1149
00:48:22,050 --> 00:48:24,900
{\an2}He'll be like, ohh,
{\an2}she's beautiful.
1150
00:48:25,860 --> 00:48:27,680
{\an2}Very long arms.
1151
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:31,820
{\an2}I'm like, what are you recruiting
{\an2}for a linebacker?
1152
00:48:31,830 --> 00:48:32,940
{\an2}What are you talking about?
1153
00:48:34,220 --> 00:48:37,930
{\an2}I can never get a pulse on who he thinks
{\an2}is attractive or not, right?
1154
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,697
{\an2}One time I'm like dad Ohh,
{\an2}she's really good looking
1155
00:48:40,780 --> 00:48:41,947
{\an2}and my dad was like, no.
1156
00:48:43,270 --> 00:48:45,300
{\an2}Her mouth too close
{\an2}to her nose.
1157
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,000
{\an2}She can't breathe.
1158
00:48:48,010 --> 00:48:49,070
{\an2}She can't breathe.
1159
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,790
{\an2}I see some of you guys
{\an2}looking your partners like it.
1160
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,000
{\an2}Is my nose too close?
1161
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,050
{\an2}And that's exactly what
{\an2}an Asian parent does to you.
1162
00:48:59,060 --> 00:49:01,500
{\an2}You know, make yourself conscious
{\an2}about shit you didn't know about.
1163
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:06,810
{\an2}I was very nervous
{\an2}to introduce my girlfriend to my dad
1164
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:08,910
{\an2}because she's absolutely beautiful,
1165
00:49:09,020 --> 00:49:11,747
{\an2}but who knows if her wingspan
{\an2}is long enough for his life?
1166
00:49:14,980 --> 00:49:16,570
{\an2}I was so nervous man,
1167
00:49:16,940 --> 00:49:19,237
{\an2}the first time I brought my girlfriend
{\an2}to my dad's house
1168
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:19,597
{\an2}and to
1169
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,067
{\an2}his credit, I want to give him credit.
1170
00:49:21,230 --> 00:49:23,290
{\an2}He actually didn't say anything crazy
1171
00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:26,977
{\an2}because for some reason
{\an2}when an old Chinese person
1172
00:49:27,060 --> 00:49:28,017
{\an2}sees white people.
1173
00:49:28,700 --> 00:49:30,250
{\an2}They just start acting, right?
1174
00:49:32,580 --> 00:49:33,537
{\an2}Like his posture,
1175
00:49:33,620 --> 00:49:35,060
{\an2}Changes stood upright
1176
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,397
{\an2}and for some reason
{\an2}he just came up with a British
1177
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:37,827
{\an2}accent.
1178
00:49:40,510 --> 00:49:42,360
{\an2}Like me and my girlfriend
{\an2}walked in the house.
1179
00:49:42,370 --> 00:49:44,700
{\an2}He didn't say anything crazy,
{\an2}he just looked at us.
1180
00:49:44,710 --> 00:49:46,190
{\an2}He was like, ohh.
1181
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,270
{\an2}Prosperous young couple.
1182
00:49:54,510 --> 00:49:56,200
{\an2}And my girlfriend was so confused.
1183
00:49:56,210 --> 00:49:58,360
{\an2}It's like, why does your dad sound
{\an2}like Helen Mirren?
1184
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,930
{\an2}And I start saying all these nice things
{\an2}about my girl.
1185
00:50:02,940 --> 00:50:04,250
{\an2}I'm like, ohh dad, you know?
1186
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,130
{\an2}Yeah, she's she's very successful,
{\an2}but she's also very nice.
1187
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,530
{\an2}And her family,
{\an2}they're just great people.
1188
00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:11,040
{\an2}And like, that was like good.
1189
00:50:11,810 --> 00:50:13,540
{\an2}All lives matter.
1190
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:21,030
{\an2}I love my dad, man.
1191
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:22,010
{\an2}I love my dad.
1192
00:50:22,260 --> 00:50:23,250
{\an2}He's a great dad.
1193
00:50:23,260 --> 00:50:25,130
{\an2}He's a funny guy, you know.
1194
00:50:25,300 --> 00:50:28,470
{\an2}And we did a lot of father
{\an2}and son bonding growing up.
1195
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,850
{\an2}Like, for example,
{\an2}I'm a big basketball fan.
1196
00:50:30,860 --> 00:50:32,500
{\an2}I love watching the NBA.
1197
00:50:32,510 --> 00:50:34,350
{\an2}Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1198
00:50:35,010 --> 00:50:37,570
{\an2}Actually, I grew up
{\an2}a Los Angeles Clippers fan.
1199
00:50:37,830 --> 00:50:38,160
{\an2}Yeah.
1200
00:50:38,970 --> 00:50:40,200
{\an2}Because my dad was cheap.
1201
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,250
{\an2}Because the Lakers and the Clippers
{\an2}playing the same stadium,
1202
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:46,287
{\an2}but the Clippers tickets
1203
00:50:46,370 --> 00:50:47,177
{\an2}were half price.
1204
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:49,920
{\an2}So my dad's, like,
{\an2}never pay full price.
1205
00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:54,180
{\an2}That wasn't even the most
{\an2}embarrassing part.
1206
00:50:54,410 --> 00:50:55,967
{\an2}The most embarrassing part
1207
00:50:56,050 --> 00:50:57,457
{\an2}was when we exited the stadium
1208
00:50:57,540 --> 00:50:58,917
{\an2}when we exited Staples Centre.
1209
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,340
{\an2}There'll be hot dogs St vendors
{\an2}out there, right?
1210
00:51:01,350 --> 00:51:04,210
{\an2}Latino brothers selling bacon
{\an2}wrapped hot dogs for $5.
1211
00:51:04,230 --> 00:51:07,630
{\an2}I love those things and my dad
{\an2}would go up and haggle with them.
1212
00:51:09,870 --> 00:51:14,420
{\an2}He'll go and be like, OK,
{\an2}I give you $5 for two hot dogs.
1213
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:15,770
{\an2}I'm like that.
1214
00:51:15,780 --> 00:51:17,447
{\an2}It's not buy one,
{\an2}get one free at Costco,
1215
00:51:17,530 --> 00:51:18,467
{\an2}just give him 10 bucks.
1216
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,290
{\an2}It was like.
1217
00:51:20,220 --> 00:51:21,540
{\an2}Never pay full price.
1218
00:51:22,950 --> 00:51:27,020
{\an2}OK, I'll give you $8
{\an2}for two hot dogs final offer
1219
00:51:27,242 --> 00:51:29,027
{\an2}and the guy didn't cares like no,
{\an2}it's
1220
00:51:29,110 --> 00:51:30,287
{\an2}$10.
1221
00:51:30,430 --> 00:51:32,100
{\an2}And then my dad is a strategy.
1222
00:51:32,150 --> 00:51:33,910
{\an2}He just announces
{\an2}in front of everyone.
1223
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:34,990
{\an2}Make sure everyone hears him.
1224
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,200
{\an2}He's like OK.
1225
00:51:37,420 --> 00:51:38,380
{\an2}We walk away.
1226
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:40,910
{\an2}And like that.
1227
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:41,450
{\an2}I don't care it.
1228
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,570
{\an2}If you walk away,
{\an2}don't walk away.
1229
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:47,110
{\an2}He's like Jimmy.
1230
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,320
{\an2}It's better to be hungry
{\an2}than to pay full price.
1231
00:51:53,830 --> 00:51:56,870
{\an2}And then my mom comes up behind us
{\an2}with four hot dogs.
1232
00:51:57,730 --> 00:51:59,220
{\an2}And she was like, guess how much?
1233
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:01,930
{\an2}Thank you guys.
1234
00:52:09,730 --> 00:52:10,820
{\an2}You guys are amazing.
1235
00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:12,460
{\an2}I love you guys.
1236
00:52:15,370 --> 00:52:15,780
{\an2}I'm on my.
1237
00:52:20,330 --> 00:52:21,020
{\an2}You haven't done.
1238
00:52:35,990 --> 00:52:36,910
{\an2}Show me respect.
1239
00:52:40,610 --> 00:52:42,890
{\an2}Give your bitchass soda,
{\an2}you bitch.
1240
00:52:49,610 --> 00:52:51,900
{\an2}I'm wearing Designer Forever 21.
1241
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:00,450
{\an2}Playing with you.
1242
00:53:08,330 --> 00:53:08,790
{\an2}I'm on my.
93618
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