Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:37,113
[man on TV] Win a trip for 12
to anywhere in the free world.
4
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:41,073
Or win a working
oil well and have money
flowing in for years.
5
00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:44,729
That's the grand prize
in Dial Soap's big contest.
6
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,776
Write a two line
jingle starting,
"I'm glad I use Dial..."
7
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,213
The last word in
both lines must rhyme.
8
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:54,261
For example,
"I'm glad I use Dial..."
9
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:59,179
[man] Put it across the plate.
Jesus Christ, you idiot.
10
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,529
There once was a time,
believe it or not,
11
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:04,706
when skill and a
reasonable amount of luck,
12
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:08,492
could actually
feed a family of 12.
13
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:11,495
Come on! Strike 'em out,
you sorry, dog-faced bastard!
Play ball!
14
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:14,368
Contesting,
if you haven't heard of it,
15
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:17,893
was a lucrative way
for overworked housewives
to use their underused wits.
16
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,677
[typing]
17
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,680
It wasn't that I
was any more gifted
than your average contester,
18
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:25,248
I was simply
more determined.
19
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:28,425
I was so prolific, in fact,
that I borrowed my
children's names
20
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,732
so that I could submit
more than one entry.
21
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:34,039
This was a perfectly legal
tactic in the
contesting world,
22
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:37,826
and as far as I could see,
one of the advantages
of having so many kids.
23
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:42,918
[baby crying]
24
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:47,444
My creative output
usually corresponded
directly to our needs.
25
00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:50,273
- Hey, Mom. Toaster's broke.
- Broken.
26
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,754
All right. Hold on.
27
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,453
"Kraft's Parkay
won't tear fresh bread.
28
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:59,456
Even ice cold,
it will smoothly spread."
29
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:07,421
- Here you go, honey.
- Thanks, Mom.
30
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:11,729
[woman] Small household
adversities were my
steady inspiration.
31
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:15,080
But whenever fate handed
one of my kids an unfair blow,
32
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:17,822
it would set my muse on fire.
33
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:20,825
[baby cooing]
34
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:23,306
[children talking]
35
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:25,787
- Mom.
- What, honey?
36
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,789
The landlord's here.
37
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:30,270
Oh, hello, Mr. Stubbs.
Come on in.
38
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,578
[car horn honks]
39
00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:38,060
[children] Dad!
Hey, Dad!
40
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,853
- [man] Come on, let me out.
- Dad, Dad!
41
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:51,421
- We're being evicted.
- Oh, yeah?
42
00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:55,860
The landlord came by, says
he wants the house back. His
daughter's getting married.
43
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:58,080
- How long do we have?
- [boy] Three weeks.
44
00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:01,779
- What are we gonna do?
- Don't you worry, sweetheart.
45
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:04,347
Mom will always
figure something out.
46
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,871
- Do you know the
capital of Alaska?
- No.
47
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:10,222
- Juno... get it? [chuckles]
- Oh, yeah. Good one.
48
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:12,181
- [baby cooing]
- Hello, Mother.
49
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:14,183
Hello, Dad.
I suppose you heard?
50
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:16,446
Yep. Can't seem
to catch a break.
51
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:19,057
[baby laughs]
52
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,625
Here, I brought
you something.
53
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:24,541
- Thank you, Dad.
- Don't choke up
so much on the bat.
54
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,587
- [boy] All right, Dad.
- Attaboy.
55
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:54,179
Mom, Mom! The men are
here to kick us out!
56
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:57,531
Mom!
57
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,318
May I help you?
58
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,756
- Mrs. Ryan?
- Yes.
59
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,323
Is your son, Dick, here?
60
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:10,935
This is Dick.
What is this about?
61
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,981
Congratulations, son.
62
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:16,419
- You've just won $5,000.
- I did?
63
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:20,031
I'm Mr. Forrest, this is Mr.
Bravey and Mr. Kramer of the
Western Auto Supply Company.
64
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:23,295
Out of 65,000 entries in
our national bike contest,
65
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:24,862
you have won
the grand prize.
66
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:28,213
- Oh, my goodness.
- And that's not all.
67
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:32,870
You've won a brand new
Western Fire bicycle and a
Westinghouse washer and dryer.
68
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:36,439
- A washing machine?
Oh, my lord.
- [Forrest] That's right.
69
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,485
[Forrest] Mrs. Ryan,
are you all right?
70
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:41,705
I just have to sit down
and have myself a happy cry.
71
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,451
[children] Dad! We won!
Yay, we won!
72
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:52,890
Dad, we won $5,000!
73
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:55,893
- You're kidding.
- Isn't it marvelous?
74
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:59,027
- It's awesome!
- I told you everything
would turn out OK.
75
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,725
Congratulations, Kelly.
You got quite a wife there.
76
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,640
Yep, looks like
she got lucky.
77
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:06,295
Dad, Mom says she's gonna put
the money down on a new house.
78
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:09,211
- Oh, yeah?
- Looks like you're
the one who got lucky.
79
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:12,823
Oh, now, Kelly was all
set to do it, I just
beat him to the punch.
80
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,043
[man] Alrighty.
81
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:17,654
Just need you to
sign Dick's check over
82
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,308
to Defiance Home
Saving and Loan.
83
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,049
- Does it matter
which one of us...?
- Nope.
84
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:23,312
Whoever is over 21.
85
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:26,446
Although, you don't look
a day over 19, Mrs. Ryan.
86
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:29,492
Well, in that case,
I'd better sign it.
87
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,197
Here you go.
88
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,983
Okey-doke.
89
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,464
And, now the
mortgage papers...
90
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,814
You need both our signatures,
is that correct?
91
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,337
Some married couples
like to do that.
92
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,861
But it's really
not necessary.
93
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:54,386
And, after all, I'm the guy
who has to pay the mortgage,
94
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,606
seems I'm the only one
who needs to sign it.
95
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:59,348
And since the bank
account's under my name...
96
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,132
Sure, that's how
most folks do it.
97
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,831
Well,
that seems right to me.
98
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:06,703
[clears throat] Well,
I guess it's all on me then.
99
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:10,098
Unless Mother here
wants to start...
100
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,578
...punching in at the shop.
101
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,710
Only if you'll do
the ironing, Dad.
102
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:17,366
[banker laughs] We just need
your John Hancock right there.
103
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:20,021
[Kelly] "Kelly...
104
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:22,327
...Ryan."
105
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:26,114
Well, congratulations,
Mr. Ryan.
106
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:29,509
- You are a homeowner, sir.
- Thank you.
107
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:39,040
[Kelly] All right,
watch that curb.
108
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:41,129
- [shooting noises]
- [baby crying]
109
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:45,046
[laughing]
110
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,135
Ooh.
111
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:50,834
Oh, my goodness.
Is that what I won?
112
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:53,750
- Yes, ma'am.
- [Mrs. Ryan] They're
just beautiful.
113
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,535
- Watch out.
- Excuse me, sir.
114
00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:57,275
[Mrs. Ryan] Can you
believe it?
115
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,930
No more boiling diapers
on top of the stove.
116
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:03,412
Yep, gonna miss it.
It made a nice soup.
117
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,153
Oh, the cost
of modern living.
118
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,068
Excuse us. We're
looking for Mrs. E. Ryan.
119
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:09,853
- There.
- Oh, hello. I'm up here.
120
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,463
This is your new
deep freeze home freezer.
121
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,291
[Mrs. Ryan] Mikey,
honey, get down.
122
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:15,946
"Ask any Eskimo
and they'll say,
123
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,166
frozen keeps the
freshness in every day."
124
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:21,865
Oh, my gosh. I forgot
all about that one.
When it rains, it pours.
125
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,214
Down, down, down.
126
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,433
Well, bring it on in.
127
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,044
[Dick] How's
it going, Pop?
128
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:30,134
Don't make your old man
carry this couch.
129
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:32,572
Come on.
130
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:39,491
[Dick] OK, on the count
of three. One, two, three.
131
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,885
Tuff, keep that cat
out of the house.
132
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:49,327
- What are you doing, huh?
- [baby cooing]
133
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:51,329
Here.
134
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,723
A little bit of this, heh?
135
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,507
- [cooing]
- Good?
136
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:58,946
- [music plays on radio]
- [birds singing]
137
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,513
- [baby babbles]
- Dad,
138
00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:04,995
isn't this the biggest freezer
you ever seen in your life?
139
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,649
It's like the ones
in the restaurants.
140
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,870
The delivery man told me it
would hold two sides of beef.
141
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:13,351
Seems like
overkill to me.
142
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:16,703
Besides, it's dangerous.
A kid could fall in there
and suffocate.
143
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:20,794
- No, we won't, Dad.
- I don't want to have
to say I told you so.
144
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,013
- I'd like to keep it.
- What the heck for?
145
00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:25,973
Do know how much electricity
this thing will eat?
146
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,975
Well, it inspires me.
It's something to be filled.
147
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,585
Well, good luck with that.
148
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,414
Even Howard Hughes
couldn't fill that thing.
149
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,198
Looks like we got
plenty in it all ready.
150
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:39,682
- [laughing] Only dishes,
but there's something
in there. - Yeah.
151
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,902
- That'll take up some
of the room, at least.
- Mm-hmm.
152
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:45,993
- [baby crying]
- [rhythmic] Oh, oh, oh.
153
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,908
[man on radio] The Red Sox,
three, Cleveland, two.
154
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:50,606
[Kelly] Oh! For God's sakes!
155
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,435
Bunch of bums,
is what you are.
156
00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:57,178
- Bunch of bums.
- [radio] The bases
are loaded.
157
00:10:57,221 --> 00:11:00,007
Writing a winning entry not
only requires a
modicum of wit,
158
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:03,967
it also requires
careful product focus.
159
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:07,797
Notice that I have
not one, but two
brand names I need to use.
160
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:10,060
You want to know
where this is headed?
161
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:12,541
Niagara Falls,
straight down.
162
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,978
Here's what I have so far.
163
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:17,024
"Wide selections,
priced to please her.
164
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,070
Scads of Seabrook's
in their freezer.
165
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,333
Warmth that scorns
the impersonal trend.
166
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:25,859
Stamps Big Chief
is the housewife's friend."
167
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:28,992
Mom, I left my spelling
book in the kitchen.
168
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:30,733
[Kelly muttering]
169
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,475
All right, honey.
170
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:36,652
- [radio] Strike two.
- Damn it.
171
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,090
- Where is it?
- [Kelly] What's
the matter with you?
172
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,832
- Who's ahead?
- The Red Sox.
173
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,748
All right.
174
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,577
Come on, you moron.
Hit the ball!
175
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:52,581
[radio] ...gets the sign...
on third...
176
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,322
...here's the pitch...
177
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,585
Cold! Strike three.
178
00:11:56,628 --> 00:12:00,328
God damn it to
holy fucking hell!
179
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:04,332
You're killing us,
you stupid bastard!
180
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:08,336
- [man] Hey, shut up
over there!
- You shut up!
181
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,817
[man] This is a
family neighborhood.
Clean up your mouth.
182
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:14,342
[Kelly] I'll clean you up!
Who are, the pope?
183
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:16,779
[man] Oh, for crying out loud.
I can't believe we got...
184
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:20,957
God damn piece of shit!
185
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,135
Where you trying to
go with that, Kelly?
186
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,877
This goddamn thing is too big
for this goddamn house!
187
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:31,141
You're gonna hurt your back.
Why don't you wait
until morning?
188
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:34,362
I want this goddamn thing
out of the house right now!
189
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:37,408
I want it out!
I want it out!
190
00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:40,803
- I never wanted it!
- All right,
I'll see what I can do.
191
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,374
[Kelly screaming]
192
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,735
- [radio] So enjoy...
- [Kelly panting]
193
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,259
The clean, tangy
taste of Dr. Pepper.
194
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,046
- [Dick] Nice try.
- Sorry, Mrs. Bidlack
195
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:08,831
Watch it.
196
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:13,009
- [police radio indistinct]
- Maybe we should talk
on the radio.
197
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:19,929
[baby crying]
198
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:26,327
[Kelly] Indians.
I can't believe the Indians...
199
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:30,853
- [officer 1] Problem is
they got no clean-up batter.
- [officer 2] Clean up what?
200
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,856
Half the team's in a slump.
Best move to make is
get rid of that manager.
201
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,424
You can't blame the manager,
pitching, I'm telling you...
202
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:39,862
- [Kelly] What a world.
- [officer 1] Yeah.
There's always...
203
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:42,778
- We're gonna take off now.
- OK, take it easy.
204
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:46,216
Hey, thanks, Tim,
appreciate it.
205
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,873
He won't give you
any more trouble.
206
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,049
Best thing to do
is let him sleep it off.
207
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,447
[officer 2] Hey, Dick,
how's the pitching arm?
208
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,884
- Playing for a
no-hitter next season?
- You bet.
209
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,190
Go get 'em, kiddo.
210
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,940
Here you go, Mother.
I made this for you.
211
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,594
Thank you, Dad.
212
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,946
[sighs] I'm tired.
213
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:23,427
- Pajamas are on the bed.
- Thank you.
214
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,916
[Dick] Mom?
215
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,918
Father McCague's here.
216
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,142
[McCague] I don't think
that you need to worry.
217
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:45,145
I'm sure that he's
learned his lesson.
218
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:48,278
This has been going on
for a very long time.
219
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:52,500
Every night he drinks a six
pack and a pint of whiskey.
220
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:55,198
By the end of the week,
there's nothing left of
his paycheck.
221
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,939
It's all gone to
the liquor store.
222
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:59,420
Kelly has a big family
to take care of.
223
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:03,076
I'm sure he's carrying around
the weight of the world.
224
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:08,864
But, the more he drinks,
the less he is able
to pay the bills,
225
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,953
which is one of the
reasons he's so unhappy.
226
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,173
But it's up to you,
you see,
227
00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:17,220
- to make him a good home.
- But I... But I do.
228
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:20,310
Well, you'll have
to try a little harder.
229
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:27,535
[sighs] No one says
that life is easy, Evelyn.
230
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,847
Thank you for
coming by, Father.
231
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:42,506
Yes, indeed.
Indeed. Indeed.
232
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,823
Are you being obedient
and saying all your prayers?
233
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:57,347
Yes, Father.
234
00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:01,090
Good boy.
I'll see you in church.
235
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:09,229
His breath
smells like Dad's.
236
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:13,320
Well, maybe that's why Father
likes to use so much incense.
237
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:18,020
- [train whistling]
- All right, kids.
238
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:21,328
Let's go to bed.
I'm tired of this day.
239
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,286
I need a new one.
240
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,375
[Evelyn] If I may pause
in the story for a moment,
241
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,160
I'd like to briefly
explain my marriage.
242
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,120
As an aspiring young scribe,
I was a resident wit
243
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,122
for the Sherwood
Weekly Chronicle.
244
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,559
Queen Elizabeth, they say,
invented ladies stockings.
245
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:38,867
Since her time, they've
covered a multitude of shins.
246
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,087
Evelyn,
that's top notch.
247
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,872
[Evelyn] I had potential,
as they say.
248
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:48,137
I was also in
sore need of adventure.
249
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:51,053
And Kelly Ryan
was loads of fun.
250
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,968
[laughing]
251
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:57,190
[Kelly]
♪ The blues of the world
252
00:16:57,233 --> 00:17:00,410
♪ Just singing a song
253
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:05,589
♪ Just singing a song
254
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:08,114
[Evelyn] He loved music
as much as I loved words.
255
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:11,378
And we were just
the perfect match.
256
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:14,729
- [music playing]
- [Evelyn giggling]
257
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:25,957
- [siren blares]
- [Evelyn] Then one night,
Kelly's career as a crooner
258
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,438
came to a terrible end.
259
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,963
[gurgling]
260
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:36,707
And so, our life
in Defiance began...
261
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,886
...where my husband joined
the ranks of ordinary men.
262
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:45,020
[machinery clanking]
263
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,853
So if he seems
unhelpful at times,
264
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,855
or selfish or mean,
265
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:58,120
please remember
that he lost his voice,
266
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,775
while I kept mine.
267
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:03,734
[Mike] Bang, bang.
268
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:07,434
[Evelyn] Here you go, Dick.
There's a soldier on
this glass, look at that.
269
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:10,959
- Who's winning the battle?
- [Mike mumbles]
270
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,875
[girls talking]
271
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,746
Drink your milk, baby.
272
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,053
Morning, Mother.
Morning, kids.
273
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,142
Morning, Dad.
274
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:24,059
What do you say I fix
everyone some pancakes?
275
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,758
You can't. We're out of milk.
I need some money, by the way.
276
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:31,545
Uh, how about some coffee?
You guys are old enough.
277
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,677
- No, thanks.
- No.
278
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:40,031
Who the heck did this?
One of you kids?
279
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,033
You did, Daddy.
280
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:45,689
No, siree.
I think it was...
281
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:49,650
- ...you.
- No, I did not.
282
00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:52,479
[chuckles] Yeah.
283
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:56,439
Well, can't sell it now.
Looks like we're
stuck with it.
284
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,833
Ah, it seems
like we are.
285
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,443
How about I
take up hunting,
286
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,445
fill that thing full
of duck and deer?
287
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,317
No, Daddy!
288
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,928
You don't
like that idea, OK.
289
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,060
Well, how about
I just go shoot
290
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,976
some squirrels
and little bunny rabbits?
291
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,805
How about you don't spend
so much at the liquor store.
292
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:27,122
Tell you what.
293
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,081
Every night,
when I come home,
294
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:33,302
I'll being something
from the grocery store.
295
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,174
I'm gonna fill that
thing to the very top,
296
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,524
even if it takes me a year.
297
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,090
What do you
think of that?
298
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:42,311
I think that's
a wonderful idea.
299
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,490
I gotta go to work
so I can bring home the bacon.
300
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:51,015
- And a porterhouse steak.
- Hey, I'm not kidding.
301
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,322
You just watch
your old man.
302
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,281
Kelly, I need money
for the milkman.
303
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,197
Uh...
304
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,336
That's not enough.
305
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:09,599
That's all I have.
306
00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:12,646
OK.
307
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,909
[Kelly] Bye, kids.
308
00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,478
[boy] Bye, Dad.
309
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:23,787
How's Dad gonna fill the
freezer when he can't pay
for the milk?
310
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:26,181
I have no idea, honey.
311
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,402
But at least
he has a goal.
312
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:31,404
[man on TV] Now
the moment is here,
313
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,971
when Queen for A Day is happy
to make your wish come true.
314
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,322
We're going to the famous
Everson-Jennings company
315
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:39,368
and order one of their sturdy,
folding wheelchairs.
316
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:40,891
- There's a sample.
- [applauds]
317
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,850
- [girl] Mommy.
- Yes, honey?
318
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:48,159
Davey messed his diaper
and I tried to change him.
319
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:50,640
Oh, show me.
320
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:53,730
[baby crying]
321
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:56,429
Oh, Barbie.
322
00:20:56,472 --> 00:21:00,171
The trick is to hold
the baby's legs up while
you take the diaper off.
323
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:03,653
- I got it on my hands.
- I know you did, sweetheart.
324
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:06,308
OK, now, here we go.
Follow me.
325
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:09,398
All right, don't touch
anything. Come on,
Betsy, you too.
326
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:13,010
Let's wash your hands.
Yeah. Come on, come on.
327
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,708
All right, everybody.
Come on.
328
00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:19,756
OK, put your hands
under the faucet.
329
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,498
[water running]
330
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:25,414
- [baby cries]
- [Evelyn] Oh.
331
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:29,200
- [man] Milk delivery!
- Just a minute,
I'll be right there.
332
00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:32,247
- [baby crying]
- Come on, Mrs. Ryan.
I've got deliveries to make.
333
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,380
Just a minute, please.
334
00:21:38,079 --> 00:21:40,908
- I'm leaving.
- No, you aren't.
335
00:21:43,084 --> 00:21:45,652
I'm on my way.
336
00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:51,005
OK, girls. Stay in the kitchen
until I can clean this up.
337
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:58,012
You know that I got
a schedule to keep.
338
00:21:58,055 --> 00:22:00,928
I know you do, Ray.
What a life you lead.
339
00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:04,453
- Three dollars.
- Um, I'm a little short this
week. Can I owe you the rest?
340
00:22:04,497 --> 00:22:07,326
I... I already got three other
families on credit this week.
341
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:10,285
- You know I'm
always good for it.
- I'm not a bank, you know.
342
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:14,376
- You could start
charging interest.
- Don't get smart with me.
343
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:16,987
- Smart people
know their budget.
- You're right.
344
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:19,468
I am. That's why I don't have
a problem paying my bills.
345
00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:21,557
Hello, Vernon.
Anything for me today?
346
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:24,691
You want something in life,
you got to pay for it,
simple as that.
347
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:26,475
- Here you go, Mrs. Ryan.
- Thank you.
348
00:22:26,519 --> 00:22:27,911
- Hey, Ray.
- Mmm.
349
00:22:27,955 --> 00:22:29,348
Oh, hold on, hold on.
350
00:22:31,306 --> 00:22:33,526
Oh! How do you like that?
351
00:22:33,569 --> 00:22:36,746
I won two dollars in the
poetry contest for
The Toledo Blade.
352
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:37,573
There you go.
353
00:22:38,879 --> 00:22:41,142
[baby fussing]
354
00:22:45,233 --> 00:22:48,497
There he goes,
there he goes.
355
00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:51,457
Yeah. You want the money?
356
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:54,982
[Barb] I'm sorry I made
such a mess, Mommy.
357
00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:58,681
Oh. Well, actually honey,
358
00:22:58,725 --> 00:23:01,467
if I had gotten
the door any sooner,
359
00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:05,122
then the mailman would have
left before the
mailman arrived,
360
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:08,038
and we wouldn't have had any
milk for our dinner tonight.
361
00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:10,214
So, there you go.
362
00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:12,042
It was all meant to be.
363
00:23:18,614 --> 00:23:20,834
This is what happens
to one's literary efforts
364
00:23:20,877 --> 00:23:23,010
once they're placed
in the mailbox.
365
00:23:26,361 --> 00:23:28,319
For the big contests,
they go sailing off
366
00:23:28,363 --> 00:23:30,452
to New York City
to be judged.
367
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:34,369
The average count is
a million and a half entries.
368
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:39,287
A million and a half.
Imagine that!
369
00:23:39,330 --> 00:23:41,594
Each entry is first
checked to make sure
370
00:23:41,637 --> 00:23:44,335
it's accompanied
by proof of purchase.
371
00:23:44,379 --> 00:23:47,382
You don't pay,
you don't play.
372
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,297
Next they go to
the junior judges.
373
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:50,994
College English majors,
mind you.
374
00:23:51,038 --> 00:23:53,301
Who are instructed
to eliminate the trite,
375
00:23:53,344 --> 00:23:55,346
the obvious and the inept.
376
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:57,131
Oh, dear.
377
00:23:57,174 --> 00:24:00,439
And so, the final
judging begins.
378
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:03,659
Every syllable of every word
is scrutinized and analyzed,
379
00:24:03,703 --> 00:24:07,141
the merits of each debated
until a few of the
worthiest remain.
380
00:24:07,184 --> 00:24:10,840
The ballots are cast,
the points are added up.
381
00:24:10,884 --> 00:24:13,974
And the grand prize
winner is declared.
382
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,638
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!
383
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:29,772
- [Barb] Daddy,
Mommy won a shopping spree!
- Oh, yeah?
384
00:24:29,816 --> 00:24:31,774
[Tuff] They time her
as she runs in the store.
385
00:24:31,818 --> 00:24:35,517
[Mike] She can get whatever
she wants. She's gonna get us
a bunch of candy...
386
00:24:35,561 --> 00:24:39,086
[Barb] And fancy nuts.
I'm gonna eat a cashew.
387
00:24:39,129 --> 00:24:41,392
- [Kelly chuckles]
- Can you believe it, Dad?
388
00:24:41,436 --> 00:24:43,003
That's terrific, Mother.
389
00:24:43,046 --> 00:24:45,658
Now, I only get
ten minutes and one cart,
390
00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:49,096
so what I did was,
I walked down to the
market to plot my strategy.
391
00:24:49,139 --> 00:24:52,621
- Wait till you hear this.
- The carts are a lot smaller
than the ones at the A&P.
392
00:24:52,665 --> 00:24:56,103
- Mom talked to the butcher.
- He's going to wrap up
some sides of bacon and ribs.
393
00:24:56,146 --> 00:24:57,496
I can build up
the cart that way.
394
00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,368
Ah, ah.
Sounds pretty clever.
395
00:25:00,411 --> 00:25:03,980
I've asked him to set aside
a prime rib, a chateaubriand,
what do you think?
396
00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:06,635
- [Dick] We each get
our own filet mignon.
- Absolutely.
397
00:25:06,679 --> 00:25:08,724
Tuff, honey,
would you set the table?
398
00:25:08,768 --> 00:25:11,553
I had filet mignon once.
It ain't that great.
399
00:25:11,597 --> 00:25:14,121
When have you
started saying "ain't"?
400
00:25:14,164 --> 00:25:16,645
Get off your high horse,
Mother. It's a perfectly
good word.
401
00:25:18,212 --> 00:25:21,171
- Here.
- Oh, thank you.
402
00:25:21,215 --> 00:25:24,218
This is just perfect.
I was going to put on
some fish sticks,
403
00:25:24,261 --> 00:25:26,046
but now I can
make sloppy joes.
404
00:25:27,221 --> 00:25:29,571
Might as well cook it up now.
405
00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:33,270
Looks like hamburger's
not going to be good enough
for this family anymore.
406
00:25:33,314 --> 00:25:36,273
Oh, of course it is. It just
won't be the only
thing we know.
407
00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:39,276
I've asked the kids
to make me a list of what
they want me to grab.
408
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:43,019
- What would you like, Kelly?
- Ah, don't waste any space
in that cart on me.
409
00:25:43,063 --> 00:25:46,762
Oh, now stop. Think. What
have you always wanted to try?
410
00:25:46,806 --> 00:25:48,721
- I don't know.
- Sure you do.
411
00:25:52,072 --> 00:25:54,596
Shrimp cocktail.
412
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,034
The kind they have
in those little jars.
413
00:25:58,078 --> 00:26:01,777
I like the way they look,
kind of elegant.
414
00:26:01,821 --> 00:26:04,519
I always wanted
one of those.
415
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,565
You shall have it.
416
00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:11,613
Thank you, Mother.
417
00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:19,490
Proud of the old lady.
418
00:26:32,329 --> 00:26:34,331
[wheels squeaking]
419
00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:37,334
- [man 1] I think you
should...
- [man 2] Oh, no, no.
420
00:26:37,378 --> 00:26:40,990
[indistinct chatter]
421
00:26:42,818 --> 00:26:44,341
Are all these kids yours?
422
00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:48,302
[boy] Hi, Mom.
423
00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:49,782
Yes. If it's all right, they
were going to
call out the time
424
00:26:49,825 --> 00:26:52,306
so I could stay on schedule.
425
00:26:52,349 --> 00:26:54,656
Oh, I don't know.
426
00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:58,312
Oh, heck, I don't see
any problem with that.
427
00:26:58,355 --> 00:27:01,141
Uh... and any help
428
00:27:01,184 --> 00:27:03,273
you happen to give Mrs. Ryan
in filling her cart,
429
00:27:03,317 --> 00:27:05,101
won't be seen by me.
430
00:27:07,190 --> 00:27:09,279
So then, Mrs. Ryan,
are you... are you ready?
431
00:27:09,323 --> 00:27:10,803
[Kelly] Hold on.
432
00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:16,635
[wheels squeaking]
433
00:27:18,767 --> 00:27:20,769
[gurgling]
434
00:27:26,383 --> 00:27:29,778
- Didn't like the
way that sounded.
- Thank you, Dad.
435
00:27:32,215 --> 00:27:33,956
All set?
436
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:37,264
Go!
437
00:27:37,307 --> 00:27:39,135
[family cheering]
438
00:27:41,311 --> 00:27:44,314
[all] Go! Faster!
439
00:27:44,358 --> 00:27:46,186
- I think we should split up.
- OK.
440
00:27:46,229 --> 00:27:49,363
I'll take the frozen
section, you two take
the European food isle.
441
00:27:49,406 --> 00:27:52,453
- What do you want, hon?
- Oh, caviar, expensive
things.
442
00:27:52,496 --> 00:27:54,368
The good stuff,
not the ordinary, huh?
443
00:27:54,411 --> 00:27:57,632
Gotcha. Marge, go!
444
00:28:05,205 --> 00:28:07,903
Seven minutes to go, Mom!
Seven minutes!
445
00:28:24,267 --> 00:28:26,661
[Dick] Three minutes, Mom,
three minutes! Come on!
446
00:28:40,501 --> 00:28:42,111
[Dick] Mom, one minute left!
447
00:28:44,635 --> 00:28:47,900
- I got you some goose pate.
You ever had that?
- No.
448
00:28:47,943 --> 00:28:49,815
Let me know
what it's like.
449
00:28:49,858 --> 00:28:52,905
I got all the
after-dinner mints,
the Swiss chocolate,
450
00:28:52,948 --> 00:28:55,995
these two bags of
English toffees and a
couple bags of coffee mints.
451
00:28:56,038 --> 00:28:58,432
Grab and move on, Marge,
grab and move on. Where to?
452
00:28:58,475 --> 00:29:00,347
- Produce!
- What are we looking for?
453
00:29:00,390 --> 00:29:02,741
Exotic things, anything grown
in a foreign country.
454
00:29:02,784 --> 00:29:05,178
- Does Hawaii count?
- [both] Yes.
455
00:29:05,221 --> 00:29:07,049
[Dick] Thirty seconds, Mom!
456
00:29:09,965 --> 00:29:12,533
[shouting, cheering]
457
00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:21,934
Time!
458
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:33,467
Oh, Kelly! Kelly!
459
00:29:33,510 --> 00:29:36,905
I got your shrimp cocktail.
I got your shrimp cocktail!
460
00:29:36,949 --> 00:29:39,516
[Dick] That was... great.
461
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,650
- [Dick] We're gonna
eat good tonight.
- Yep.
462
00:29:42,693 --> 00:29:44,913
[Dick] Well done, Mom.
463
00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:48,482
Look at all this food and
candy and sugar and sweets!
464
00:29:48,525 --> 00:29:50,092
And lobster!
465
00:29:55,968 --> 00:29:58,666
[Evelyn] Let's see,
what else?
466
00:29:58,709 --> 00:30:00,407
Anybody want an
artichoke heart?
467
00:30:00,450 --> 00:30:03,018
- What do you think?
- [girl] This is really good.
468
00:30:03,062 --> 00:30:05,934
- Here, Dick, try it.
- [Dick] Yeah,
they're really good.
469
00:30:05,978 --> 00:30:08,850
What's this, Mom?
470
00:30:08,894 --> 00:30:10,547
Litchi nuts,
they're from China.
471
00:30:10,591 --> 00:30:12,898
- Oh, I see.
- [Dick] What do they
taste like?
472
00:30:12,941 --> 00:30:15,944
Get the can opener
and let's try one.
473
00:30:15,988 --> 00:30:18,599
Litchi nuts, who the hell
would want to eat those?
474
00:30:18,642 --> 00:30:20,557
What are you looking for?
475
00:30:20,601 --> 00:30:23,473
I'm looking for hamburger.
476
00:30:23,517 --> 00:30:25,432
I have a steak
all ready for you.
477
00:30:25,475 --> 00:30:29,218
I don't want a steak
I want hamburger.
478
00:30:31,351 --> 00:30:33,266
Oh, look at this.
479
00:30:33,309 --> 00:30:36,225
Hearts of palm, from a
palm tree, can you believe it?
480
00:30:37,618 --> 00:30:40,316
These are capers.
481
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,318
They come from Spain.
482
00:30:42,362 --> 00:30:43,972
Try one.
483
00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:46,366
Mmm, no, thank you.
484
00:30:46,409 --> 00:30:48,063
Oh, come on.
It's an adventure.
485
00:30:48,107 --> 00:30:50,239
But they're green
and yicky.
486
00:30:52,546 --> 00:30:54,809
Please put all that food
back in the freezer.
487
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,506
I don't want
everything to thaw.
488
00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:12,871
Capers, my ass.
489
00:31:15,351 --> 00:31:18,920
I think it's time
we tried some caviar.
490
00:31:18,964 --> 00:31:20,661
Now...
491
00:31:20,704 --> 00:31:24,317
...caviar is one...
492
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,973
...of the finest
delicacies...
493
00:31:28,016 --> 00:31:29,757
...in...
494
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,239
...the Western world.
495
00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:36,111
It comes from Russia.
496
00:31:36,155 --> 00:31:39,854
And we are about to become...
497
00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:43,292
...the very first Ryans...
498
00:31:43,336 --> 00:31:45,033
...to ever taste it.
499
00:31:45,077 --> 00:31:47,122
- [Dick] What is it?
- Fish eggs.
500
00:31:47,166 --> 00:31:49,951
Dick, Bub, Rog,
would you like to try it?
501
00:31:49,995 --> 00:31:52,606
- No, I'll stick with coconut.
- No, thank you.
502
00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:58,394
- Tuff?
- Um, no, thanks.
503
00:31:58,438 --> 00:32:00,657
[sighs] Do you know
504
00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:05,358
that U.S. Army research
has shown a relationship
between intelligence
505
00:32:05,401 --> 00:32:08,056
- and a willingness
to eat unfamiliar foods?
- [laughs]
506
00:32:16,369 --> 00:32:18,414
I just can't, Mom.
507
00:32:18,458 --> 00:32:21,069
Oh, well.
More for me then.
508
00:32:37,216 --> 00:32:40,349
[laughing] Mmm.
509
00:32:40,393 --> 00:32:42,177
Oh, it's marvelous.
510
00:32:42,221 --> 00:32:44,179
[Evelyn] Mmm.
511
00:32:49,228 --> 00:32:52,840
Mmm. Oh.
512
00:32:52,883 --> 00:32:56,017
[laughing] Oh, my goodness.
513
00:32:56,061 --> 00:32:58,498
Oh, my sweet goodness.
514
00:33:00,543 --> 00:33:01,980
How is your supper?
515
00:33:16,211 --> 00:33:17,430
Not very good.
516
00:33:21,434 --> 00:33:24,002
Your shrimp cocktail
is in the fridge.
517
00:33:33,054 --> 00:33:36,144
They say it's good if you
squeeze a little lemon on top.
518
00:33:41,715 --> 00:33:43,456
Thank you, Mother.
519
00:33:43,499 --> 00:33:46,676
Enjoy it, Dad.
520
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,897
All right,
what will we open next?
521
00:33:49,940 --> 00:33:52,987
Anybody here like lobster?
522
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:56,208
[laughing] We'll try
a little of that.
523
00:33:56,251 --> 00:33:58,123
And... what else do we have?
524
00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:01,822
We have some
button mushrooms...
525
00:34:01,865 --> 00:34:05,086
Kelly, come on over here.
Sit down with us.
526
00:34:05,130 --> 00:34:07,436
Let's see,
what else do we have?
527
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,309
An artichoke heart,
want an artichoke heart?
528
00:34:10,352 --> 00:34:12,528
- [Dick] Sure.
- [Evelyn] Very good.
529
00:34:12,572 --> 00:34:15,227
Come on.
You can share my seat.
530
00:34:15,270 --> 00:34:18,969
Sit down. Oh, yeah.
Look at those little,
little pickles.
531
00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:20,232
Look at that.
532
00:34:20,275 --> 00:34:24,105
Dad, you gotta try this.
It's amazing.
533
00:34:24,149 --> 00:34:27,108
Oh, should I open the
sardines? Who's gonna
eat those?
534
00:34:27,152 --> 00:34:29,197
- [Dick] I won't.
- All right, these are mine.
535
00:34:29,241 --> 00:34:32,113
Let's see, what else
do we have here?
536
00:34:32,157 --> 00:34:35,203
- Can I try this?
- Oh, do try it.
It's just delicious.
537
00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:37,292
Put it on the
little cracker there.
538
00:34:37,336 --> 00:34:38,989
- These are good.
- Aren't they good?
539
00:34:39,033 --> 00:34:42,341
Are you sick
of candy yet, honey?
540
00:34:42,384 --> 00:34:44,865
- No, I will never
be sick of candy.
- Not now.
541
00:34:44,908 --> 00:34:47,302
- [Kelly] It's good.
- Yes, I know.
542
00:34:47,346 --> 00:34:49,957
[Mike] Is that one mine?
543
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,438
[Tuff] What about these
little white things?
544
00:34:52,481 --> 00:34:55,615
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- This stuff isn't too
cracked.
545
00:34:55,658 --> 00:34:59,140
- Mom, it's yesterday's paper.
- Oh, throw that out.
546
00:35:06,147 --> 00:35:09,455
[Evelyn] For the next
four years I would win
a steady stream of prizes
547
00:35:09,498 --> 00:35:11,587
that would keep us
functioning, but never flush.
548
00:35:11,631 --> 00:35:15,548
I won two ice buckets,
ten pairs of galoshes,
549
00:35:15,591 --> 00:35:18,986
one sled, which arrived
just in time, I might add,
550
00:35:19,029 --> 00:35:22,468
fifteen ice crushers,
a case of dog food,
551
00:35:22,511 --> 00:35:25,166
a pair of Arthur Murray
dancing shoes,
552
00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:26,907
a Brownie camera,
553
00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:30,476
one free window installation,
554
00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:33,043
an outboard motor,
555
00:35:33,087 --> 00:35:35,002
eight pogo sticks,
556
00:35:35,045 --> 00:35:38,745
a palm tree,
which promptly died,
557
00:35:38,788 --> 00:35:40,834
a lifetime supply
of bird seed...
558
00:35:43,793 --> 00:35:46,361
...and a pony,
559
00:35:46,405 --> 00:35:49,147
which we had to sell
to pay the electric bill.
560
00:36:06,816 --> 00:36:09,036
In the meantime,
my eldest, Lea Anne,
561
00:36:09,079 --> 00:36:11,081
left home to go
to nursing school.
562
00:36:11,125 --> 00:36:12,648
"Travel handsome,
travel light.
563
00:36:12,692 --> 00:36:14,737
Travel always
with Samsonite."
564
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,872
And my sons,
Dick and Bub,
565
00:36:18,915 --> 00:36:21,179
both got signed to play ball
with the Detroit Tigers.
566
00:36:21,222 --> 00:36:23,746
How do you like that?
567
00:36:25,748 --> 00:36:27,707
[sighs]
568
00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:32,059
So far, three of my chicks
have found their wings
569
00:36:32,102 --> 00:36:35,193
and I am so very
proud of them.
570
00:36:35,236 --> 00:36:38,108
That is where
my prayers went.
571
00:36:39,284 --> 00:36:42,374
That's where
they all went.
572
00:36:42,417 --> 00:36:46,943
[television plays indistinct]
573
00:36:46,987 --> 00:36:48,858
You know why they left?
574
00:36:50,338 --> 00:36:52,688
We live in a hole.
575
00:36:52,732 --> 00:36:56,388
A hole without a ladder.
576
00:36:56,431 --> 00:36:58,433
I like Beech-Nut so much,
577
00:36:58,477 --> 00:37:00,914
I'm going to help them
sponsor a contest.
578
00:37:00,957 --> 00:37:04,700
With the folks out there,
they can win all kinds
of big prizes.
579
00:37:04,744 --> 00:37:08,356
- Mom, do you want
your notebook?
- Yes, thank you, Tuff.
580
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,577
You want to know who
dug that hole? I did.
581
00:37:11,620 --> 00:37:14,406
Holy moley. Are you
gonna eat that, Jerry?
582
00:37:14,449 --> 00:37:16,495
Nope, but I'm
gonna sing about it.
583
00:37:16,538 --> 00:37:19,324
And the folks out there
are gonna fill in the words.
584
00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:20,760
- [music plays]
- Well, all right.
585
00:37:20,803 --> 00:37:23,328
♪ It's my dum-dee-dum
-dee-dum ♪
586
00:37:23,371 --> 00:37:25,765
♪ Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum
sandwich ♪
587
00:37:27,419 --> 00:37:29,116
♪ Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum
588
00:37:29,159 --> 00:37:32,946
♪ Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum
sandwich ♪
589
00:37:32,989 --> 00:37:34,730
♪ Hole in the ground
590
00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:38,125
♪ Don't make a
sound sandwich ♪
591
00:37:38,168 --> 00:37:40,910
♪ My stuff it in the mouth
592
00:37:40,954 --> 00:37:44,131
♪ Chomp and swallow
south sandwich ♪
593
00:37:44,174 --> 00:37:47,047
- That's a good one, Mom.
- You can have it.
594
00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:52,226
I'm jerk and a dope and
I ain't got a hope sandwich.
595
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,750
♪ My back the daily truck
596
00:37:54,794 --> 00:37:57,710
♪ To the lips
and suck sandwich ♪
597
00:37:57,753 --> 00:38:00,539
♪ I'm a moron and a mutt
598
00:38:00,582 --> 00:38:02,976
♪ And I made you
a nut sandwich ♪
599
00:38:03,019 --> 00:38:04,499
Good one, Dad.
600
00:38:04,543 --> 00:38:06,675
♪ I'm a chump in a slump
601
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,983
♪ And I live
in a dump sandwich ♪
602
00:38:10,026 --> 00:38:12,638
♪ My frisk the Frigidaire
603
00:38:12,681 --> 00:38:15,205
♪ Clean the cupboards
bare sandwich ♪
604
00:38:17,207 --> 00:38:20,167
- Are you listening to me?
- Yes, I'm listening.
605
00:38:20,210 --> 00:38:23,475
- You know what your
problem is?
- No, Dad, I don't.
606
00:38:23,518 --> 00:38:25,999
You're too damn happy.
607
00:38:26,042 --> 00:38:28,044
[everyone laughs]
608
00:38:35,225 --> 00:38:40,013
Oh, Kelly, how do you
come up with these things?
609
00:38:42,145 --> 00:38:46,672
I don't know. They just...
come to me, I guess.
610
00:38:46,715 --> 00:38:49,936
That was really funny.
611
00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:53,243
♪ Do do-do do-do
612
00:38:53,287 --> 00:38:55,550
♪ Do-do do
613
00:38:59,554 --> 00:39:03,515
- Hey, kids.
- Hi, Daddy.
614
00:39:03,558 --> 00:39:06,822
- [Evelyn] You're home early.
- Ah. I don't feel so hot.
615
00:39:06,866 --> 00:39:08,650
My head hurts.
616
00:39:08,694 --> 00:39:10,913
Did they pay you
for the full day?
617
00:39:10,957 --> 00:39:12,959
I don't know.
I didn't ask.
618
00:39:13,002 --> 00:39:15,614
I just felt so lousy
I had to get out of there.
619
00:39:15,657 --> 00:39:17,703
- [knock at door]
- [Ray] Milk delivery!
620
00:39:17,746 --> 00:39:20,575
I'm glad you're here. I need
four dollars for the milk man.
621
00:39:20,619 --> 00:39:22,795
What's he showing up
so late in the day for?
622
00:39:22,838 --> 00:39:25,406
I don't know. What
difference does it make?
623
00:39:25,450 --> 00:39:27,669
Well, what happened
to the money I gave you?
624
00:39:27,713 --> 00:39:30,585
What do you think happened to
it? I used it to
pay the bills.
625
00:39:30,629 --> 00:39:33,414
- [Ray] I'm leaving.
- I'll be right there.
626
00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:35,721
We're out of milk, would you
please give me some money?
627
00:39:40,682 --> 00:39:43,946
I don't have any.
628
00:39:43,990 --> 00:39:46,688
Of course you don't.
It's all in those bottles.
629
00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:55,958
I'm sorry. I'm going to
have to owe you this week.
630
00:39:56,002 --> 00:39:59,875
- I'm sorry too, because I'm
not going to leave the milk.
- I always pay you back.
631
00:39:59,919 --> 00:40:04,445
That's not the point, is it?
I'm not a rich man, but I
never owed anyone anything.
632
00:40:04,489 --> 00:40:07,492
- Clearly, you're a
better person than I am.
- We're all in the same boat.
633
00:40:07,535 --> 00:40:09,189
But I am not going
to do the paddling
634
00:40:09,232 --> 00:40:12,845
while you sit back with
your hand in the water.
635
00:40:12,888 --> 00:40:14,977
You're absolutely right.
636
00:40:15,021 --> 00:40:17,589
But my children need milk.
637
00:40:17,632 --> 00:40:19,417
Please don't
make them suffer
638
00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:22,158
because I am delinquent
in my payments.
639
00:40:22,202 --> 00:40:25,031
Please.
640
00:40:25,074 --> 00:40:28,469
If you don't pay me next week,
that's it. I'm cutting you
off my route.
641
00:40:30,036 --> 00:40:31,994
I understand.
642
00:40:32,038 --> 00:40:33,692
Thank you.
643
00:40:38,218 --> 00:40:40,176
That was pleasant.
644
00:40:40,220 --> 00:40:41,917
Hey.
645
00:40:41,961 --> 00:40:44,006
You think money
grows on trees?
646
00:40:44,050 --> 00:40:47,923
I work my ass off in that
stinking sweatshop
all day long.
647
00:40:47,967 --> 00:40:50,186
- You stay home
and do whatever you want.
- Do whatever I want?
648
00:40:50,230 --> 00:40:52,362
Sit around writing in
your stupid notebooks.
649
00:40:52,406 --> 00:40:55,801
Those notebooks are the
only reason this family
isn't living on the street.
650
00:40:55,844 --> 00:40:58,456
Hey, do you want to
trade places with me?
651
00:41:01,633 --> 00:41:04,374
[kids screaming] Mommy!
652
00:41:04,418 --> 00:41:05,854
Oh, Jesus!
653
00:41:05,898 --> 00:41:08,030
- [Mike] What was that?
- [Tuff] What happened?
654
00:41:08,074 --> 00:41:10,163
[Kelly] Oh, Jesus!
She slipped.
655
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:12,557
- Daddy was yelling at her.
- What did you do to her?
656
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:16,299
It was an accident!
I wouldn't hurt your mother
in a million years!
657
00:41:16,343 --> 00:41:20,216
- I think somebody
should get Mrs. Bidlack.
- We don't need her.
658
00:41:20,260 --> 00:41:23,655
Get away from the glass.
Would somebody please
help me up?
659
00:41:23,698 --> 00:41:26,701
Sweet Christ, Mother.
660
00:41:26,745 --> 00:41:28,834
- Would somebody help me up?
- [Tuff] Betsy, stay back.
661
00:41:28,877 --> 00:41:31,227
[both scream]
662
00:41:31,271 --> 00:41:34,796
Kelly, for goodness sakes,
just move. Oh!
663
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,843
[grunting]
664
00:41:37,886 --> 00:41:41,716
Hold on, Mother.
I'll take you to the hospital.
Just let me get my...
665
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,631
No, you are not!
You almost killed her!
666
00:41:43,675 --> 00:41:45,415
I didn't do anything!
I swear to God!
667
00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:47,374
I think it's best
if you just stay put.
668
00:41:47,417 --> 00:41:49,550
Oh, my God!
My sweet God! What...?
669
00:41:49,594 --> 00:41:52,814
Tuff, would you get a towel
so I don't make a mess
in Mrs. Bidlack's car.
670
00:41:52,858 --> 00:41:54,990
- [Kelly] I'll get it, Mother.
- Where's my purse?
671
00:41:55,034 --> 00:41:56,949
Would you like me
to call the police?
672
00:41:56,992 --> 00:41:59,168
Oh, Rita. That won't
be necessary, thank you.
673
00:41:59,212 --> 00:42:01,606
- Here, Mom.
- Honey, could you
hook it over my arm?
674
00:42:01,649 --> 00:42:02,824
[Evelyn] Thank you.
675
00:42:02,868 --> 00:42:04,957
- Here, Mother.
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
676
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,959
- What am I supposed
to do with that?
- Here.
677
00:42:07,002 --> 00:42:09,962
Thank you. If you wouldn't
mind mopping up so it doesn't
warp the wood,
678
00:42:10,005 --> 00:42:12,355
I'll go over
the rest of it later.
679
00:42:12,399 --> 00:42:14,053
Children stay put, I'm taking
680
00:42:14,096 --> 00:42:16,185
your mother to the hospital.
- I'm all right.
681
00:42:16,229 --> 00:42:18,448
- You know what the
worst part of it is?
- What?
682
00:42:18,492 --> 00:42:21,626
- A quart of milk got
sucked up inside my girdle.
- Oh, my dear.
683
00:42:21,669 --> 00:42:26,239
- [Betsy] Please
don't die, Mommy.
- It was an accident.
684
00:42:27,893 --> 00:42:29,982
[man] Everything
all right in there?
685
00:42:39,034 --> 00:42:41,254
The question is...
686
00:42:41,297 --> 00:42:43,996
This is a
presidential election year.
687
00:42:44,039 --> 00:42:48,740
If a qualified woman
were running for president,
688
00:42:48,783 --> 00:42:51,481
how would you feel
about voting for her
689
00:42:51,525 --> 00:42:53,266
and why.
690
00:42:53,309 --> 00:42:55,747
[woman] If the men
candidates were qualified,
691
00:42:55,790 --> 00:42:58,619
I feel I would
vote against her.
692
00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:01,927
My reasons being that
women are very high-strung
693
00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:03,668
and emotional people.
694
00:43:03,711 --> 00:43:05,931
- They aren't knowledgeable...
- [door opens]
695
00:43:05,974 --> 00:43:08,977
- [all kids] Mom!
- [Rita] Here we go,
special delivery.
696
00:43:09,021 --> 00:43:13,765
- Oh, we missed you so much.
- Be careful of her.
697
00:43:13,808 --> 00:43:15,723
Oh, I'm not that fragile.
698
00:43:15,767 --> 00:43:17,769
Thank you for taking me.
699
00:43:17,812 --> 00:43:20,685
- Any time.
- See, it's not so bad.
700
00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:23,035
Hello, Mother.
How's it going?
701
00:43:23,078 --> 00:43:25,472
Well, I got lucky.
702
00:43:25,515 --> 00:43:28,954
Doctor said I was half an inch
away from severing a ligament.
703
00:43:28,997 --> 00:43:31,783
Oh, see, kids.
Your mother's as good as new.
704
00:43:31,826 --> 00:43:33,915
I have dinner all set,
here's a cup of tea.
705
00:43:33,959 --> 00:43:35,961
Why don't you sit down
and take a load off?
706
00:43:36,004 --> 00:43:38,703
Well, first thing I'd like to
do is take off this
wet girdle,
707
00:43:38,746 --> 00:43:41,314
if you could help me,
I can't use my hands just yet.
708
00:43:41,357 --> 00:43:44,752
OK. Go on, kids,
supper's on the table.
709
00:43:44,796 --> 00:43:47,450
- Mom, are you OK?
- I'm fine, sweetheart.
710
00:43:47,494 --> 00:43:50,976
'Course she's OK.
711
00:43:51,019 --> 00:43:53,761
It's all right, boys.
Go ahead, get
something to eat.
712
00:44:01,073 --> 00:44:03,771
I think what...
713
00:44:03,815 --> 00:44:07,035
...hurt more than anything
was that dig you made
about my contesting.
714
00:44:07,079 --> 00:44:09,777
[sighs]
715
00:44:09,821 --> 00:44:13,563
You know, I couldn't
be prouder of you.
716
00:44:13,607 --> 00:44:15,653
You know that?
717
00:44:15,696 --> 00:44:18,351
It's just...
the thing is...
718
00:44:18,394 --> 00:44:21,528
...guys at the shop...
719
00:44:21,571 --> 00:44:24,792
Any time you
win something, it's...
720
00:44:24,836 --> 00:44:27,839
"Oh, we know
who the breadwinner is."
721
00:44:27,882 --> 00:44:29,405
- It ain't me.
- Goodness sakes.
722
00:44:29,449 --> 00:44:32,408
They're just jealous.
Why do you even
listen to them?
723
00:44:34,802 --> 00:44:38,850
All I want in this world
is to make you happy.
724
00:44:41,809 --> 00:44:44,551
I don't need you
to make me happy.
725
00:44:44,594 --> 00:44:47,815
I just need you to
leave me alone when I am.
726
00:45:03,483 --> 00:45:06,616
[Evelyn] Spilled milk?
Don't cry.
727
00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:10,359
Unless, of course,
it's hip high.
728
00:45:10,403 --> 00:45:14,537
I don't cry over milk,
spilled or otherwise.
729
00:45:14,581 --> 00:45:17,932
I just wish I had spilled
a smaller other size.
730
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,893
Spilled milk can't be poured,
731
00:45:21,936 --> 00:45:24,025
if it's spreadin'
'cross the floor.
732
00:45:24,069 --> 00:45:26,375
But no need
for tears or sorrow.
733
00:45:26,419 --> 00:45:29,161
There's always more
to spill tomorrow.
734
00:45:43,697 --> 00:45:46,656
[telephone rings]
735
00:45:48,354 --> 00:45:51,313
[humming]
736
00:45:51,357 --> 00:45:53,620
- Hello?
- [man] Hello.
737
00:45:53,663 --> 00:45:56,884
I'm calling on behalf
of Beech-Nut Gum "Name
That Sandwich" contest.
738
00:45:56,928 --> 00:45:58,886
May I speak to
Mr. Bruce Ryan?
739
00:45:58,930 --> 00:46:00,453
Yes, hold on
one moment, please.
740
00:46:00,496 --> 00:46:01,889
Bruce!
741
00:46:01,933 --> 00:46:04,587
♪ My frisk the Frigidaire
742
00:46:04,631 --> 00:46:06,894
♪ Clean the cupboards
bare sandwich ♪
743
00:46:06,938 --> 00:46:09,157
♪ Oh, baby
744
00:46:09,201 --> 00:46:11,943
[man] You have won a
Triumph TR3 sports car.
745
00:46:11,986 --> 00:46:15,642
And an all expenses paid
weekend trip to New York City.
746
00:46:15,685 --> 00:46:16,991
For you and
one of your parents.
747
00:46:17,035 --> 00:46:19,864
- Can I bring my mom?
- You sure can, son.
748
00:46:19,907 --> 00:46:22,083
♪ My frisk the Frigidaire
749
00:46:22,127 --> 00:46:24,172
♪ Clean the cupboards
bare sandwich ♪
750
00:46:24,216 --> 00:46:26,131
Everyone move in a little.
751
00:46:27,959 --> 00:46:30,265
Enjoy that car.
752
00:46:30,309 --> 00:46:32,224
♪ My frisk the Frigidaire
753
00:46:32,267 --> 00:46:35,053
♪ Clean the cupboards
bare sandwich ♪
754
00:46:35,096 --> 00:46:37,838
- ♪ Di-ya, di-ya♪
- I think...
755
00:46:37,882 --> 00:46:41,189
my church dress will do
for our dinner at Sardi's.
756
00:46:41,233 --> 00:46:44,889
But for sightseeing,
I'm gonna need something
a little more casual.
757
00:46:44,932 --> 00:46:47,543
Mom, there's a man
on the phone about Rog.
758
00:46:47,587 --> 00:46:50,764
My goodness. Don't tell me
he won something too.
759
00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:53,114
♪ My frisk the Frigidaire
760
00:46:53,158 --> 00:46:55,682
♪ Clean the cupboards
bare sandwich ♪
761
00:46:55,725 --> 00:46:57,945
♪ Yum-yum yum-yum
762
00:47:00,165 --> 00:47:02,341
I only took a few dollars
from the lady's purse.
763
00:47:02,384 --> 00:47:05,910
I put the wallet back so she
wouldn't miss her driver's
license or nothing like that.
764
00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:07,520
Stealing is stealing.
765
00:47:07,563 --> 00:47:10,044
Don't you dare try to
justify it. Don't you dare!
766
00:47:10,088 --> 00:47:12,481
Sorry, Mom.
767
00:47:14,309 --> 00:47:16,877
Do we have to tell Dad?
768
00:47:16,921 --> 00:47:19,749
You thieving little bastard!
769
00:47:19,793 --> 00:47:23,405
- Get back here!
- Kelly! Kelly, stop!
Calm down.
770
00:47:23,449 --> 00:47:26,191
He's a criminal and
I'm not going to let
him get away with it.
771
00:47:26,234 --> 00:47:30,717
Next time you step foot in
this house, I'll teach you
a lesson you'll never forget!
772
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,807
Mommy, please,
please, please
773
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:37,767
don't go to
New York City.
774
00:47:37,811 --> 00:47:40,596
-[sighs]
- [♪Dee Carstensen: Wrap
Your Troubles in Dreams]
775
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,076
♪ Just remember
776
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,688
♪ That sunshine
777
00:47:45,732 --> 00:47:49,344
♪ Always follows
778
00:47:49,388 --> 00:47:51,520
♪ The rain
779
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,220
[sighs]
780
00:47:55,263 --> 00:47:57,570
I'm sorry you didn't
get to go to New York.
781
00:47:59,093 --> 00:48:01,748
Let's just get you
through this next week.
782
00:48:01,791 --> 00:48:05,273
I talked to
a friend of mine.
783
00:48:05,317 --> 00:48:07,275
He says the judge
gives guys like me a choice
784
00:48:07,319 --> 00:48:09,103
between jail
and joining the Army.
785
00:48:09,147 --> 00:48:12,193
The Army wouldn't be
too bad, would it?
786
00:48:12,237 --> 00:48:15,109
No.
787
00:48:15,153 --> 00:48:18,678
At least you'd learn
how to make your bed.
788
00:48:24,945 --> 00:48:26,773
[sighs]
789
00:48:26,816 --> 00:48:31,125
Mmm. I wonder what it would
be like to drive this thing.
790
00:48:31,169 --> 00:48:33,954
- You want me to teach you?
- No.
791
00:48:33,998 --> 00:48:36,609
Then I couldn't
bear to sell it.
792
00:48:36,652 --> 00:48:40,308
- You want me to teach you
how to drive Dad's car?
- Better not.
793
00:48:40,352 --> 00:48:43,007
Not enough gas in this
world, for all the
places I'd like to go.
794
00:48:46,010 --> 00:48:48,926
Go inside and eat your dinner.
It's on the table.
795
00:48:52,146 --> 00:48:57,325
♪ And dream
your troubles away ♪
796
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:02,983
♪ Just dream your troubles
797
00:49:03,027 --> 00:49:06,117
♪ Away
798
00:49:10,121 --> 00:49:12,079
Hi, Mr. Quigley.
799
00:49:12,123 --> 00:49:14,168
Lady friend's writin' ya.
800
00:49:14,212 --> 00:49:16,605
I don't have
a lady friend.
801
00:49:16,649 --> 00:49:18,303
Give it time,
give it time.
802
00:49:18,346 --> 00:49:21,001
- I'm gonna tickle you.
- Careful, it's slippery.
803
00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:23,656
Mom, I think
this is for you.
804
00:49:23,699 --> 00:49:25,745
Oh, thank you, Bruce.
805
00:49:30,489 --> 00:49:32,099
[Dortha] Dear Bruce,
806
00:49:32,143 --> 00:49:34,362
I saw your name on
the Beech-Nut win list.
807
00:49:34,406 --> 00:49:36,408
Well, what do you know?
808
00:49:36,451 --> 00:49:40,151
My daughter, Mary Kay,
who's also 16, won
second prize.
809
00:49:40,194 --> 00:49:42,980
Gee, what clever kids
your mother and I have.
810
00:49:43,023 --> 00:49:45,373
Watch it, watch it! Hey.
811
00:49:45,417 --> 00:49:49,160
I live in Payne, Ohio,
just 85 miles away from you
812
00:49:49,203 --> 00:49:52,293
and I'm part of a group
of contesting gals called
The Affadaisies.
813
00:49:52,337 --> 00:49:54,556
This is probably
not of much interest
814
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,081
to a strapping,
teenage boy such as yourself,
815
00:49:57,124 --> 00:49:59,344
but perhaps your mother
would like to join us.
816
00:49:59,387 --> 00:50:01,650
- [crash]
- I don't care who did it,
just clean it up!
817
00:50:01,694 --> 00:50:04,349
Well, gotta go before
the house comes down.
818
00:50:04,392 --> 00:50:06,133
Hope we can hear
from one of you soon.
819
00:50:06,177 --> 00:50:09,441
Sincerely, Dortha Schaefer.
820
00:50:09,484 --> 00:50:12,009
P.S. Since they don't publish
the winning entries,
821
00:50:12,052 --> 00:50:14,011
I'd love to know
what yours was.
822
00:50:14,054 --> 00:50:16,970
Here's mine,
my daughter's, that is:
823
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:19,364
♪ My stack it thick
and quick ♪
824
00:50:19,407 --> 00:50:21,888
♪ Snack until
I'm sick sandwich ♪
825
00:50:21,931 --> 00:50:24,847
♪ Ooh-ahh ooh-ahh
826
00:50:24,891 --> 00:50:27,415
Dear Dortha,
I love your entry.
827
00:50:27,459 --> 00:50:30,418
You have a true gift for
inner rhyme and alliteration.
828
00:50:30,462 --> 00:50:32,855
I was particularly
impressed by your
cross-rhyming
829
00:50:32,899 --> 00:50:35,249
of "stack" and "snack."
830
00:50:35,293 --> 00:50:36,990
Here's my entry,
for what it's worth:
831
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,471
♪ My frisk the Frigidaire
832
00:50:39,514 --> 00:50:41,734
♪ Clean the cupboards
bare sandwich ♪
833
00:50:41,777 --> 00:50:44,432
♪ Da-da da-da
834
00:50:44,476 --> 00:50:48,045
Dear Evelyn,
those judges judged right.
835
00:50:48,088 --> 00:50:50,482
No wonder I came in second.
836
00:50:50,525 --> 00:50:53,659
Talk about a gift for imagery.
You have it, gal.
837
00:50:53,702 --> 00:50:56,357
And you must come to my house
for an Affadaisies meeting.
838
00:50:56,401 --> 00:50:59,186
We've got the crme de la crme
of contesters.
839
00:50:59,230 --> 00:51:02,668
Gladys Tierney,
she is smart as a whip
840
00:51:02,711 --> 00:51:06,280
and won two cars in the
Stay-Puft his and
hers contest.
841
00:51:06,324 --> 00:51:08,543
And then there's Betty
Yearling and Betty White.
842
00:51:08,587 --> 00:51:10,110
Cooks extraordinaire.
843
00:51:10,154 --> 00:51:12,504
Betty Y. is a Pillsbury
bake-off winner
844
00:51:12,547 --> 00:51:14,984
with her famous
party pork barbeque.
845
00:51:15,028 --> 00:51:17,987
And Betty W. won first place
in the Midwest
kitchen cook-off
846
00:51:18,031 --> 00:51:19,989
with her double delight
strawberry toll cake.
847
00:51:20,033 --> 00:51:22,818
And Emma Hartzler, who's won
848
00:51:22,862 --> 00:51:26,126
three fridges and matching
stoves and a trip to Hawaii.
849
00:51:26,170 --> 00:51:28,520
All from her iron lung.
850
00:51:28,563 --> 00:51:31,697
"Kleenex is so handy,
I use it every day.
851
00:51:31,740 --> 00:51:35,092
Cost so little,
helps so much,
852
00:51:35,135 --> 00:51:38,007
just blow,
then throw away."
853
00:51:38,051 --> 00:51:39,661
Now, listen,
Evelyn Ryan.
854
00:51:39,705 --> 00:51:43,317
You are the most notable of us
all and you must be
at my house
855
00:51:43,361 --> 00:51:47,234
two weeks from now for
the first Affadaisy meeting
of the spring. No excuses.
856
00:51:47,278 --> 00:51:50,281
Now strap on those wings
and fly over here.
857
00:51:58,724 --> 00:52:02,989
Do you remember that group of
contesters I told you about?
858
00:52:03,032 --> 00:52:05,296
They've invited me
to their meeting.
859
00:52:05,339 --> 00:52:09,343
- Ah. Where is it?
- Over in Payne.
860
00:52:09,387 --> 00:52:13,042
- Payne's a long way.
- It's only 85 miles.
861
00:52:13,086 --> 00:52:15,567
Yeah, but it
still takes gas.
862
00:52:15,610 --> 00:52:20,180
I gotta drive to work,
drive you to the
grocery store,
863
00:52:20,224 --> 00:52:22,574
drive the garbage
to the dump...
864
00:52:22,617 --> 00:52:25,751
How much do you think I'm left
with at the end of the week?
865
00:52:25,794 --> 00:52:28,710
In fact, I had to
enter a football pool
866
00:52:28,754 --> 00:52:31,583
at the gas station just to
win myself some extra fuel.
867
00:52:31,626 --> 00:52:35,152
- You're contesting?
- [sighs] Yeah.
868
00:52:35,195 --> 00:52:37,632
- Why not?
- You need any hints?
869
00:52:37,676 --> 00:52:40,331
I know how to do a pool.
870
00:52:40,374 --> 00:52:44,248
Well, if you win, you'd have
enough gas to drive
me to Payne.
871
00:52:45,466 --> 00:52:48,382
I can't just sit in the car
872
00:52:48,426 --> 00:52:51,211
while you gab with a
bunch of jingle writers
873
00:52:51,255 --> 00:52:53,344
and forget I'm even there.
874
00:52:54,736 --> 00:52:57,783
My Saturdays
are precious to me.
875
00:52:57,826 --> 00:53:00,177
Well, all right, Kelly.
I won't ask again.
876
00:53:06,444 --> 00:53:08,185
[door shuts]
877
00:53:09,621 --> 00:53:12,885
- [door shuts]
- [Kelly] That was my entry.
878
00:53:12,928 --> 00:53:17,106
No, it wasn't. It was mine.
Mom, I won 25 gallons of gas
today in a football pool.
879
00:53:17,150 --> 00:53:20,327
- You didn't win nothing.
That was my entry.
- I used Barb's name.
880
00:53:20,371 --> 00:53:23,461
- Barb Ryan was
the one that won.
- That was my Barb Ryan.
881
00:53:23,504 --> 00:53:26,072
- I had dibs on her
name first.
- Says who?
882
00:53:26,115 --> 00:53:28,379
We made an agreement.
I got Barb, Tuff and Mike.
883
00:53:28,422 --> 00:53:30,990
- I never said you
could use my name.
- Don't get smart.
884
00:53:31,033 --> 00:53:33,862
- Did anybody write this down?
- No, it was a
gentlemen's agreement.
885
00:53:33,906 --> 00:53:35,473
You'll have
to split the gas.
886
00:53:35,516 --> 00:53:37,649
He didn't even know about
the contest until I...
887
00:53:37,692 --> 00:53:40,173
What are you talking about?
I was the one who told you!
888
00:53:40,217 --> 00:53:42,480
Split the gas, Kelly.
889
00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:49,008
Oh, for Christ's sake.
890
00:53:52,011 --> 00:53:54,840
Bruce, I hope you
were telling the truth.
891
00:53:54,883 --> 00:53:56,885
Honest to God, Mom,
Dad's just a sore loser.
892
00:53:56,929 --> 00:53:59,192
All right, then.
I'd like to ask you a favor.
893
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:03,370
I want to go somewhere.
Would you drive me?
894
00:54:03,414 --> 00:54:06,591
Sure, Mom. I'll take you
anywhere you want to go.
895
00:54:06,634 --> 00:54:10,899
Thank you, Bruce.
Thank you.
896
00:54:10,943 --> 00:54:15,600
There's tuna fish for
sandwiches and you'll find
coleslaw in the fridge.
897
00:54:15,643 --> 00:54:18,124
- Kelly, what are you doing?
- Just checking the radiator.
898
00:54:18,167 --> 00:54:20,605
Come on, Dad.
We're ready to go.
899
00:54:20,648 --> 00:54:22,998
And if your father
decides to make his chili,
900
00:54:23,042 --> 00:54:24,696
just make sure he
doesn't burn the pot.
901
00:54:24,739 --> 00:54:26,437
Right. Yeah, I got it.
902
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,917
Plenty of water,
oil's fine.
903
00:54:28,961 --> 00:54:31,311
Watch the clutch,
it's starting to slip.
904
00:54:31,355 --> 00:54:34,488
- I know, Pop.
- Get your mother back
in one piece, you hear?
905
00:54:35,837 --> 00:54:37,448
Bye.
906
00:54:40,015 --> 00:54:41,539
- Bye, bye.
- Bye.
907
00:54:41,582 --> 00:54:43,454
- Bye.
- Bye, Mom.
908
00:54:43,497 --> 00:54:46,500
- Bye, sweetie.
- Have fun, Mommy.
909
00:54:46,544 --> 00:54:48,546
- Thank you.
- Mommy, wait.
910
00:54:48,589 --> 00:54:51,636
- What is it, Davey?
- I got a surprise for you.
911
00:54:51,679 --> 00:54:53,681
You did? Show me.
912
00:54:57,555 --> 00:55:02,342
Oh, honey.
Where did you get these?
913
00:55:02,386 --> 00:55:05,911
They grow all over. I got
them from Mrs. Bidlack's yard,
914
00:55:05,954 --> 00:55:09,523
in Mrs. Zitfeld's,
and Mrs. Zamone.
915
00:55:09,567 --> 00:55:13,092
Cripes' sakes, what did
you go and go that for?
916
00:55:13,135 --> 00:55:16,225
Ah, Jesus. Sorry, Mother.
I'm not good with that woman.
917
00:55:18,053 --> 00:55:19,838
Uh...
918
00:55:19,881 --> 00:55:22,797
- Bruce, turn off the motor.
- [Bruce] Oh, brother.
919
00:55:25,583 --> 00:55:27,498
[woman] Oh, my God.
My sweet God.
920
00:55:27,541 --> 00:55:30,979
- Did you see what your
boy did to my tulips?
- I am so sorry.
921
00:55:31,023 --> 00:55:34,243
- Why would you do
something like that, why?
- He didn't know.
922
00:55:34,287 --> 00:55:37,551
He's just a little boy. Tell
me what I can do to
make it better.
923
00:55:37,595 --> 00:55:39,901
There is nothing you can do.
Do you know how long I've
waited
924
00:55:39,945 --> 00:55:41,468
for those tulips to bud?
925
00:55:41,512 --> 00:55:43,470
Tell me what they cost,
I'll reimburse you.
926
00:55:43,514 --> 00:55:47,605
- $40 worth of bulbs.
- Mom, are we going or not?
927
00:55:47,648 --> 00:55:49,694
No, honey, I'm afraid
the trip is off.
928
00:55:49,737 --> 00:55:52,958
My gas is already in Dad's
car. How am I going to
get that out?
929
00:55:53,001 --> 00:55:55,787
Tell him to use his half now
and you'll use your
half later.
930
00:55:55,830 --> 00:55:57,136
Great.
931
00:55:57,179 --> 00:56:00,139
I didn't know it was bad.
932
00:56:00,182 --> 00:56:02,402
I thought they
were beautiful.
933
00:56:02,446 --> 00:56:05,013
They are beautiful, Davey.
934
00:56:05,057 --> 00:56:07,538
They truly are.
935
00:56:09,017 --> 00:56:13,631
All right.
Let's go make amends.
936
00:56:13,674 --> 00:56:15,589
Good boy.
937
00:56:41,485 --> 00:56:44,836
Give it gas.
938
00:56:48,405 --> 00:56:50,537
OK, put it in first
and try again.
939
00:56:58,371 --> 00:57:01,156
- [crash]
- [Kelly] Oh!
What are you doing?
940
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:04,116
- [Tuff] Stop yelling.
- I'm not yelling.
You're not listening.
941
00:57:04,159 --> 00:57:06,814
[Dortha] Evelyn,
we are all thrilled
and elated to hear
942
00:57:06,858 --> 00:57:09,121
that daughter Tuff
has learned to drive
943
00:57:09,164 --> 00:57:11,645
and she'll be delivering
you to us, at last.
944
00:57:11,689 --> 00:57:14,518
We've moved our meetings to
Emma's house in
Goshen, Indiana,
945
00:57:14,561 --> 00:57:16,345
which is about 100 miles
from where you are.
946
00:57:16,389 --> 00:57:18,478
Sorry, it's such a hike.
947
00:57:18,522 --> 00:57:21,481
But our gal is eager to
show off her new
summer outfit.
948
00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:24,353
Evelyn, I await
your arrival...
949
00:57:25,877 --> 00:57:27,705
...with bated breath.
950
00:57:27,748 --> 00:57:29,489
There's bologna for lunch.
951
00:57:29,533 --> 00:57:32,187
If I'm not back in time
for dinner, heat up
some fish sticks,
952
00:57:32,231 --> 00:57:34,015
and there's Jell-O
in the fridge.
953
00:57:34,059 --> 00:57:36,148
- Yep.
- [Tuff] Mom, we should
probably get going.
954
00:57:36,191 --> 00:57:38,498
All right, off we go.
955
00:57:38,542 --> 00:57:42,110
- Watch you don't
overuse the brakes.
- You all ready told me, Dad.
956
00:57:42,154 --> 00:57:44,373
- No speeding.
- Dad, this car
barely goes over 40.
957
00:57:44,417 --> 00:57:48,203
- Don't get smart. I want your
mother back here in one piece.
- That's enough.
958
00:57:48,247 --> 00:57:50,292
Miss you all ready.
959
00:57:50,336 --> 00:57:52,033
- Bye, Mommy.
- Bye, Betsy.
960
00:57:52,077 --> 00:57:54,949
I love you.
961
00:57:54,993 --> 00:57:57,474
Bye, Davey.
962
00:57:57,517 --> 00:57:59,345
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Barb.
963
00:57:59,388 --> 00:58:02,479
- You have fun.
- Be good.
Listen to your father.
964
00:58:02,522 --> 00:58:06,657
- Be good.
- [kids] Bye, Mommy, bye.
965
00:58:07,658 --> 00:58:11,096
Look out, Tuff.
Look out.
966
00:58:11,139 --> 00:58:13,098
Bye.
967
00:58:17,929 --> 00:58:21,280
Well, what do you
want to do now, kids? Hmm.
968
00:58:25,545 --> 00:58:29,506
Defiance, a nice
place to leave.
969
00:58:29,549 --> 00:58:33,684
[both laughing]
970
00:58:37,296 --> 00:58:40,212
Honey, you can drive
a little faster now.
971
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:06,412
Oh, my goodness.
972
00:59:09,458 --> 00:59:12,592
We've crossed
the state line.
973
00:59:12,636 --> 00:59:14,899
- Doesn't look any different.
- [laughs]
974
00:59:14,942 --> 00:59:18,293
The grass is much
greener on this side, Tuff.
975
00:59:18,337 --> 00:59:21,079
It is much greener.
976
00:59:26,650 --> 00:59:29,783
Oh, boy.
977
00:59:32,177 --> 00:59:35,572
You can relax, honey.
You're doing just fine.
978
00:59:38,792 --> 00:59:42,317
Gonna be hot today. The girls
will have to wipe me off
the floor when we get there.
979
00:59:42,361 --> 00:59:45,233
Yeah,
I'm starting to broil.
980
00:59:47,496 --> 00:59:49,542
Doesn't feel
that hot outside.
981
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:52,284
- Do we have the heater on?
- No.
982
00:59:52,327 --> 00:59:54,416
Let me put the fan on.
983
00:59:54,460 --> 00:59:58,420
- [whirring]
- Ugh, that's even worse.
Turn it off.
984
00:59:58,464 --> 01:00:01,598
[whirring continues]
985
01:00:03,991 --> 01:00:07,168
Mom, I think the
car's overheated.
986
01:00:07,212 --> 01:00:10,345
- [Evelyn] Holy Scott.
- Maybe we should pull over.
987
01:00:12,478 --> 01:00:15,742
There should be a town
in a few miles. I'm sure
there's a gas station there.
988
01:00:15,786 --> 01:00:18,571
I don't think we're
supposed to keep driving
when the engine's hot.
989
01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:21,443
I-I-I say we keep going.
990
01:00:21,487 --> 01:00:24,055
Car's gonna
be just fine.
991
01:00:24,098 --> 01:00:26,361
[clunking]
992
01:00:27,667 --> 01:00:30,801
[car sputtering]
993
01:00:38,417 --> 01:00:40,506
- [Evelyn] Hello?
- Ma'am.
994
01:00:45,293 --> 01:00:47,513
- Overheated, huh?
- Yes.
995
01:00:50,168 --> 01:00:52,866
Fan belt's gone. When's the
last time you had it replaced?
996
01:00:52,910 --> 01:00:55,652
Oh, I don't know.
It's my husband's car.
997
01:00:55,695 --> 01:00:58,655
How long will it
take to fix?
998
01:00:58,698 --> 01:01:02,659
Take at least an hour
for the radiator to cool down
enough for me to open it up.
999
01:01:02,702 --> 01:01:05,313
After that, who knows.
1000
01:01:05,357 --> 01:01:08,621
Depends on what the damage is.
You might as well make
yourself at home.
1001
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:12,973
Alrighty. Well, come on,
Tuff. I'll buy you a pop.
1002
01:01:16,063 --> 01:01:19,763
I'll bet Dad knew that
fan belt was rotten and
didn't replace it on purpose.
1003
01:01:19,806 --> 01:01:22,156
Oh, honey,
1004
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,724
your father's careless
but he's not mean.
1005
01:01:24,768 --> 01:01:27,596
I'm sure he just
didn't bother to check.
1006
01:01:32,732 --> 01:01:35,343
Do you ever wish
you'd never married him?
1007
01:01:35,387 --> 01:01:37,868
My gosh, Tuff.
1008
01:01:37,911 --> 01:01:39,870
Do you?
1009
01:01:51,795 --> 01:01:55,146
- No, I don't have any
regrets.
- Come on, Mom.
1010
01:01:55,189 --> 01:01:57,757
You've been stuck
in a house for 20 years
1011
01:01:57,801 --> 01:02:00,586
cooking and cleaning and
taking care of a bunch
of crappy kids.
1012
01:02:00,629 --> 01:02:03,502
- Don't use that. Especially
in regards to yourself.
- Sorry.
1013
01:02:03,545 --> 01:02:06,592
But you could be living in a
city, writing for a newspaper,
1014
01:02:06,635 --> 01:02:08,159
having an interesting life.
1015
01:02:08,202 --> 01:02:10,335
I do have an
interesting life.
1016
01:02:10,378 --> 01:02:12,598
Your life stinks.
1017
01:02:12,641 --> 01:02:14,861
Gosh, Mom,
just look at today.
1018
01:02:14,905 --> 01:02:17,908
You finally get a chance
to go somewhere and the
lousy car breaks down.
1019
01:02:17,951 --> 01:02:20,954
It's not fair.
1020
01:02:20,998 --> 01:02:23,217
If I were you,
I'd be angry all the time.
1021
01:02:23,261 --> 01:02:26,133
Well, that wouldn't do me
any good now, would it?
1022
01:02:26,177 --> 01:02:28,788
For gosh sakes, Mom,
you're only human.
1023
01:02:28,832 --> 01:02:31,443
Oh, sweetheart.
1024
01:02:31,486 --> 01:02:33,924
[sighs]
1025
01:02:33,967 --> 01:02:37,666
Maybe I'm meant to make
it to the Affadaisies,
1026
01:02:37,710 --> 01:02:41,496
and maybe I'm not.
1027
01:02:41,540 --> 01:02:45,718
But right now,
I'm sitting here in the shade
1028
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:49,156
having a conversation with my
wonderfully feisty daughter,
1029
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:53,857
and I intend to enjoy
this moment to the fullest.
1030
01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:58,644
And I suggest,
for your own well-being,
1031
01:02:58,687 --> 01:03:01,560
that you do
the same, hmm?
1032
01:03:26,454 --> 01:03:29,980
[ladies screaming]
1033
01:03:30,023 --> 01:03:32,330
Dortha Schaefer,
is that really you?
1034
01:03:32,373 --> 01:03:35,246
Oh, honey,
get into these arms.
1035
01:03:35,289 --> 01:03:38,075
Virginia, there is an Evelyn
Ryan! Oh, look at you.
1036
01:03:38,118 --> 01:03:41,905
I can't believe it, hello!
1037
01:03:41,948 --> 01:03:46,692
Welcome,
for housework escaping!
1038
01:03:46,735 --> 01:03:49,303
Oh, God, it's so
good to see you.
1039
01:03:49,347 --> 01:03:51,740
Thank you so much for
delivering your mother to us.
1040
01:03:51,784 --> 01:03:54,265
- No problem.
- You have no idea
what this means to us.
1041
01:03:54,308 --> 01:03:57,485
Now, you come in, too. That
was a big, long drive for you.
1042
01:03:57,529 --> 01:04:01,011
- [Tuff] Sure was.
- [Dortha] New driver.
Congratulations.
1043
01:04:01,054 --> 01:04:04,275
Emma! Look who we found
outside on the curb.
1044
01:04:04,318 --> 01:04:07,191
We got a stray bird
back in the nest, girls.
1045
01:04:07,234 --> 01:04:10,716
Evelyn Ryan, as I live...
and breathe.
1046
01:04:10,759 --> 01:04:14,763
Emma Hartzler,
you are a vision.
1047
01:04:14,807 --> 01:04:17,766
She looks like a giant corn
on the cob, doesn't she?
1048
01:04:17,810 --> 01:04:20,552
[Evelyn] I finally
found my soul mates
1049
01:04:20,595 --> 01:04:23,033
with the Affadaisies.
1050
01:04:23,076 --> 01:04:26,384
They were the sharpest
group of gals I'd ever met.
1051
01:04:26,427 --> 01:04:29,604
We mostly talked shop,
and critiqued each
other's work.
1052
01:04:29,648 --> 01:04:32,477
- Evelyn, you get on
over here.
- Here I come.
1053
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:36,089
- It's clever, but with
Pillsbury, rhyme doesn't pay.
- Only if it's in verse.
1054
01:04:36,133 --> 01:04:38,744
But inner rhyme is still
valid, don't you think?
1055
01:04:38,787 --> 01:04:41,660
Ooh... ooh.
1056
01:04:41,703 --> 01:04:44,402
If you spell Pillsbury
flour like the bud,
1057
01:04:44,445 --> 01:04:47,274
and not the baking kind,
then you've got a homophone
1058
01:04:47,318 --> 01:04:48,928
and don't...
need the rhyme.
1059
01:04:48,972 --> 01:04:50,364
Oh, love it!
1060
01:04:50,408 --> 01:04:52,366
- What's super potato salad?
- Pickle juice.
1061
01:04:52,410 --> 01:04:54,368
Brilliant.
1062
01:04:54,412 --> 01:04:57,241
What's the consensus
on hyphenated words
for 25 words or less?
1063
01:04:57,284 --> 01:05:00,026
Technically, it is one word.
Don't trust judges
to know that.
1064
01:05:00,070 --> 01:05:02,072
They count
a contraction as two words.
1065
01:05:02,115 --> 01:05:06,293
Oh, I'm in trouble. I'll have
to knock off a couple
of articles.
1066
01:05:06,337 --> 01:05:09,340
Why waste space on
an article, when you can
put in something zesty.
1067
01:05:09,383 --> 01:05:12,299
"After all," "the" and
"antidisestablishmentarianism"
1068
01:05:12,343 --> 01:05:15,259
are both one word, but which
one packs the bigger punch?
1069
01:05:15,302 --> 01:05:18,349
What?
1070
01:05:18,392 --> 01:05:20,699
Anti-what?
1071
01:05:20,742 --> 01:05:24,137
Did anyone else just hear that
word come out of her mouth?
1072
01:05:27,053 --> 01:05:29,360
This is why she
wins the big prizes.
1073
01:05:29,403 --> 01:05:32,145
Can you sing that? Let's
just hear what it sounds like.
1074
01:05:32,189 --> 01:05:34,843
[Evelyn] We debated whether
our days as contesters
were coming to an end.
1075
01:05:34,887 --> 01:05:36,889
[Gladys] Did you see this?
1076
01:05:36,933 --> 01:05:39,979
No skill involved?
No skill involved!
1077
01:05:40,023 --> 01:05:42,503
This is the death
of literacy, ladies.
1078
01:05:42,547 --> 01:05:44,853
[Betty] I don't want to hear
that. It'll never happen.
1079
01:05:44,897 --> 01:05:48,118
[ladies chattering]
1080
01:05:48,161 --> 01:05:49,902
This is the last
of the big contests.
1081
01:05:49,946 --> 01:05:52,774
Everybody snapped these up.
I got you the last one.
1082
01:05:52,818 --> 01:05:55,429
- Oh, Dortha, you keep it.
- Mmm-mm.
1083
01:05:55,473 --> 01:05:59,085
Honey, you've got more kids
at home, now you take that.
1084
01:05:59,129 --> 01:06:01,131
OK?
1085
01:06:06,658 --> 01:06:09,530
[Tuff] So, what do you have
to do for this one, Mom?
1086
01:06:09,574 --> 01:06:13,578
Oh, it's a one-liner. They
want you to finish a limerick.
1087
01:06:13,621 --> 01:06:15,319
"The time of your life
you can win
1088
01:06:15,362 --> 01:06:17,321
with Dr. Pepper
the flavor that's in.
1089
01:06:17,364 --> 01:06:19,932
It's distinctive and bright,
it's lively and light...
1090
01:06:23,196 --> 01:06:26,156
There's no time
like now to begin."
1091
01:06:26,199 --> 01:06:29,115
- Eh...
- Oh, leave me alone.
I'm just warming up.
1092
01:06:37,384 --> 01:06:40,605
- Evening, Rita, Nancy.
- Oh, it was a hot one today.
1093
01:06:40,648 --> 01:06:42,955
There was a wonderful
breeze over in Goshen.
1094
01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:45,610
Well, it was
a hot one here today.
1095
01:06:45,653 --> 01:06:49,222
[woman] Five minutes
to supper, sweetheart.
1096
01:06:49,266 --> 01:06:52,138
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Who locked the door?
1097
01:06:52,182 --> 01:06:56,012
- Hey, you guys, let us in.
- Honey, let's go
around the back.
1098
01:06:56,055 --> 01:06:57,926
♪ Row row row your boat
1099
01:06:57,970 --> 01:07:00,016
♪ Gently down the stream
1100
01:07:00,059 --> 01:07:03,367
♪ Throw your dad overboard
and listen to him scream ♪
1101
01:07:03,410 --> 01:07:05,717
- Mom's home!
- Hey.
1102
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:08,850
What are you kids
doing outside?
1103
01:07:08,894 --> 01:07:11,114
Well, we went to
the movies this afternoon.
1104
01:07:11,157 --> 01:07:13,638
When we got back,
Dad locked us out
of the house.
1105
01:07:13,681 --> 01:07:16,771
He what?
1106
01:07:16,815 --> 01:07:18,904
Kelly!
1107
01:07:18,947 --> 01:07:21,994
Kelly!
Open the door!
1108
01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:25,302
- [bangs on door]
- Open the door.
1109
01:07:28,392 --> 01:07:31,395
- Where the hell have
you been?
- I told you, I might be late.
1110
01:07:31,438 --> 01:07:34,137
- Not this late.
- You locked your kids
out of the house?
1111
01:07:34,180 --> 01:07:37,053
Good grief, Kelly!
Tuff set the table, please.
1112
01:07:37,096 --> 01:07:39,229
You left at the
crack of dawn.
1113
01:07:39,272 --> 01:07:41,144
You don't come back
until it's almost dark.
1114
01:07:41,187 --> 01:07:43,059
What the hell were
you doing all this time?
1115
01:07:43,102 --> 01:07:45,626
I was gone for ten hours.
1116
01:07:45,670 --> 01:07:48,977
If you can't take care of your
kids for less than half a day,
1117
01:07:49,021 --> 01:07:50,718
then you might
as well leave this house.
1118
01:07:50,762 --> 01:07:52,764
You can goddamn
be the one to leave.
1119
01:07:52,807 --> 01:07:54,809
Get off of my mother!
1120
01:07:54,853 --> 01:07:58,857
[everyone screaming]
1121
01:08:01,990 --> 01:08:05,385
[groaning]
1122
01:08:05,429 --> 01:08:08,040
[Evelyn] "For picnic
or party, Jell-O's a boon.
1123
01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:11,043
Made by nine,
all set by noon.
1124
01:08:11,087 --> 01:08:13,524
The taste
and shimmer-shake appeal,
1125
01:08:13,567 --> 01:08:16,875
Jell-O jollies any meal."
1126
01:08:19,443 --> 01:08:21,227
[snickering]
1127
01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:32,456
Christ, Mother.
You've killed me.
1128
01:08:32,499 --> 01:08:34,675
Death by Jell-O
is highly unlikely.
1129
01:08:34,719 --> 01:08:37,113
And I want you to know,
I am not cleaning up
this mess.
1130
01:08:39,593 --> 01:08:41,465
Tuff, could you
get me some towels?
1131
01:08:41,508 --> 01:08:44,120
Not on your life.
She's not cleaning
up after you.
1132
01:08:44,163 --> 01:08:46,861
Now kids, go ahead and
watch TV while I make dinner.
1133
01:08:46,905 --> 01:08:50,126
- [kids laughing]
- Go on.
1134
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:58,308
By the way, the fan belt
fell off the car
1135
01:08:58,351 --> 01:09:02,050
and that is why
we are so late.
1136
01:09:02,094 --> 01:09:04,009
Yeah, I was waiting
for that to happen.
1137
01:09:06,881 --> 01:09:09,449
What's this?
1138
01:09:09,493 --> 01:09:12,496
Steak.
I went shopping today.
1139
01:09:12,539 --> 01:09:14,541
I wanted to make a
nice dinner for the kids.
1140
01:09:14,585 --> 01:09:15,977
Why didn't you feed them?
1141
01:09:16,021 --> 01:09:18,980
I was crying and
didn't want them to see me.
1142
01:09:19,024 --> 01:09:21,244
Why on Earth
were you crying?
1143
01:09:21,287 --> 01:09:24,986
I thought you decided to
go away and never come back.
1144
01:09:25,030 --> 01:09:27,424
[sighs] For goodness sakes.
1145
01:09:27,467 --> 01:09:30,209
You know I'd never
leave the kids with you.
1146
01:09:37,303 --> 01:09:40,045
I got you something too.
1147
01:09:40,088 --> 01:09:42,830
It was supposed
to be a surprise.
1148
01:09:42,874 --> 01:09:45,485
It's in there.
1149
01:09:45,529 --> 01:09:48,009
Here you go, Mother.
1150
01:09:48,053 --> 01:09:50,838
I found it at a
secondhand store.
1151
01:09:50,882 --> 01:09:53,841
I paid a guy at
the shop to fix it up.
1152
01:09:53,885 --> 01:09:57,367
Oh, well, it is the
most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.
1153
01:09:57,410 --> 01:09:59,978
I thought it was about time
1154
01:10:00,021 --> 01:10:02,633
you had a proper desk.
1155
01:10:02,676 --> 01:10:04,765
How did you
pay for it?
1156
01:10:04,809 --> 01:10:08,552
Oh, don't you
worry about that.
1157
01:10:09,814 --> 01:10:12,251
Thank you, Kelly.
1158
01:10:12,295 --> 01:10:14,471
I...
1159
01:10:14,514 --> 01:10:16,864
I love you.
1160
01:10:21,956 --> 01:10:24,785
[breathes deeply]
1161
01:10:24,829 --> 01:10:27,266
[ringing]
1162
01:10:31,314 --> 01:10:34,012
-Hello?
- [man] Hello, Mrs. Ryan?
1163
01:10:34,055 --> 01:10:38,190
It's Cutter Murphy,
down here at Defiance
Home Saving and Loan.
1164
01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:41,106
Just, um, a friendly reminder
1165
01:10:41,149 --> 01:10:44,892
to, uh, let you know that
the second mortgage is
coming due on your house.
1166
01:10:44,936 --> 01:10:48,374
Mr. Murphy, we've never
taken out a second mortgage.
1167
01:10:48,418 --> 01:10:50,071
Oh, uh, yes you did.
1168
01:10:50,115 --> 01:10:52,857
Yes, uh, Mr. Ryan came
down here three years ago
1169
01:10:52,900 --> 01:10:55,163
and signed the papers.
1170
01:10:55,207 --> 01:10:56,904
How much do we owe?
1171
01:10:56,948 --> 01:10:59,342
Um... $4,000
1172
01:10:59,385 --> 01:11:03,911
due in, um...
due in 30 days.
1173
01:11:03,955 --> 01:11:05,348
See ya, fellas.
1174
01:11:19,231 --> 01:11:22,669
Hello, Mother. What
are you doing out here?
1175
01:11:22,713 --> 01:11:25,455
When were you gonna tell me
about the second mortgage?
1176
01:11:30,851 --> 01:11:33,158
It's due, huh?
1177
01:11:33,201 --> 01:11:37,554
I had a feeling that
day might be coming up.
1178
01:11:37,597 --> 01:11:39,556
Is there anything left?
1179
01:11:39,599 --> 01:11:42,080
I was gonna pay it back
1180
01:11:42,123 --> 01:11:45,388
without anyone ever
knowing about it.
1181
01:11:49,043 --> 01:11:51,437
Is there anything left, Kelly?
1182
01:11:53,004 --> 01:11:55,833
No... no, no.
1183
01:11:55,876 --> 01:11:58,749
It's all... gone.
1184
01:12:06,409 --> 01:12:09,716
They're gonna
repossess the house.
1185
01:12:14,939 --> 01:12:16,984
Do the kids know?
1186
01:12:18,551 --> 01:12:20,248
I told them as soon
as I got the call.
1187
01:12:20,292 --> 01:12:24,557
I didn't want them to
hear it from anybody else.
1188
01:12:26,472 --> 01:12:28,387
Are they angry with me?
1189
01:12:28,431 --> 01:12:31,390
Right now,
they're just scared.
1190
01:12:33,174 --> 01:12:36,874
Guess we could always
rent another place.
1191
01:12:36,917 --> 01:12:41,226
At least we wouldn't have to
worry about repairs anymore.
1192
01:12:41,269 --> 01:12:42,967
This is my house, Kelly.
1193
01:12:43,010 --> 01:12:46,492
My house.
1194
01:12:51,715 --> 01:12:55,153
I just...
1195
01:12:55,196 --> 01:12:57,329
...felt like a drowning man.
1196
01:12:57,373 --> 01:13:01,202
Never being able
to catch up...
1197
01:13:01,246 --> 01:13:03,074
I just wanted, for once,
1198
01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:06,730
to have a few extra
dollars in my pocket.
1199
01:13:11,822 --> 01:13:14,520
Well, that's water under
the bridge now, isn't it?
1200
01:13:15,478 --> 01:13:16,827
Where you going?
1201
01:13:16,870 --> 01:13:19,133
I have to make dinner.
1202
01:13:20,787 --> 01:13:23,094
Do you hate me, Mother?
1203
01:13:25,009 --> 01:13:27,533
I'm still in shock.
I'll have to let you know.
1204
01:13:39,502 --> 01:13:42,243
We need to talk
about what will happen
1205
01:13:42,287 --> 01:13:44,202
if we need
to leave this house.
1206
01:13:44,245 --> 01:13:46,552
We may not be able
to stay together.
1207
01:13:46,596 --> 01:13:48,293
What do you mean?
1208
01:13:48,336 --> 01:13:51,514
Aunt Lucy said she
could take Betsy and Dave.
1209
01:13:51,557 --> 01:13:54,386
You kids like
the farm, don't ya?
1210
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:57,345
No, we don't.
1211
01:13:57,389 --> 01:14:00,740
Aw, what about that old horse
of theirs? You love
that horse.
1212
01:14:00,784 --> 01:14:03,482
I really don't.
1213
01:14:03,526 --> 01:14:06,398
- Where am I gonna go?
- Mrs. Bidlack
has an extra room.
1214
01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:08,879
There is no way in heck
I am staying with her.
1215
01:14:08,922 --> 01:14:11,751
You'll be right next door.
It'll be like living here.
1216
01:14:11,795 --> 01:14:14,754
No it won't. There'll
be another family here.
1217
01:14:14,798 --> 01:14:16,887
There will be someone
sleeping in my room!
1218
01:14:26,418 --> 01:14:29,900
- How's that steak, kids?
- Don't be rude,
answer your father.
1219
01:14:29,943 --> 01:14:31,684
[sniffling]
1220
01:14:35,122 --> 01:14:37,342
It's good, Daddy.
1221
01:14:37,385 --> 01:14:40,171
Well, last one, eat up.
1222
01:15:00,104 --> 01:15:03,542
[muffled voices]
1223
01:15:14,422 --> 01:15:16,424
[voices stop]
1224
01:15:20,603 --> 01:15:22,343
What are you kids doing?
1225
01:15:22,387 --> 01:15:26,173
We're praying that you
win something very big.
1226
01:15:26,217 --> 01:15:29,002
[sighs] All right.
1227
01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:33,572
Don't let me disturb you.
1228
01:15:38,838 --> 01:15:40,623
[all praying]
1229
01:15:43,408 --> 01:15:45,105
[Ray] Times are
hard again, huh?
1230
01:15:45,149 --> 01:15:48,065
Yes. Yes, they are.
1231
01:15:48,108 --> 01:15:50,894
I'll tell you what.
Um...
1232
01:15:50,937 --> 01:15:54,811
I'll leave you the milk,
you don't have to pay me
until next week.
1233
01:15:54,854 --> 01:15:57,901
Thank you, Ray.
1234
01:15:57,944 --> 01:15:59,816
- Thank you, so much.
- [phone rings]
1235
01:15:59,859 --> 01:16:02,819
I got a bag of laundry
in the truck,
1236
01:16:02,862 --> 01:16:05,865
it's just a couple of shirts,
you know, if you do
a good job,
1237
01:16:05,909 --> 01:16:08,215
I could even recommend you
to my customers.
1238
01:16:08,259 --> 01:16:13,090
- [phone ringing]
- I don't take in laundry.
1239
01:16:13,133 --> 01:16:15,005
Could somebody
please get that?
1240
01:16:15,048 --> 01:16:18,008
Hey, I'm just trying
to do you a favor, OK?
1241
01:16:18,051 --> 01:16:20,663
- Don't get uppity.
- I have enough for
two bottles of milk,
1242
01:16:20,706 --> 01:16:22,926
and that will
have to suffice.
1243
01:16:22,969 --> 01:16:25,842
[whispers] Mommy, it's
the detective from Toledo.
1244
01:16:25,885 --> 01:16:28,975
A detective? That's it.
There's nothing more
I can do for you.
1245
01:16:29,019 --> 01:16:31,804
Barb, count out the money
for the milkman, please.
1246
01:16:35,329 --> 01:16:37,418
More.
1247
01:16:38,028 --> 01:16:39,943
Hello?
1248
01:16:39,986 --> 01:16:42,859
- [man] Mrs. Evelyn Ryan?
- Yes, this is she.
1249
01:16:42,902 --> 01:16:46,645
I'm interviewing finalists
for the Dr. Pepper
"Time of Your Life" contest,
1250
01:16:46,689 --> 01:16:48,995
- Yes, of course.
- Will you be in
this afternoon?
1251
01:16:49,039 --> 01:16:50,431
[stammers] Yes, certainly.
1252
01:16:50,475 --> 01:16:52,956
- 3:00?
- Oh, that'll be fine.
1253
01:16:52,999 --> 01:16:56,133
- We'll be here all day.
Do you have our address?
- Yes, I do. That's my job.
1254
01:16:56,176 --> 01:16:57,700
All right.
We'll see you then.
1255
01:16:57,743 --> 01:17:00,224
- I look forward to it.
- Thank you.
1256
01:17:00,267 --> 01:17:02,313
- What? What is it?
- Kelly!
1257
01:17:02,356 --> 01:17:04,445
- What's going on?
- Get out here!
1258
01:17:04,489 --> 01:17:06,534
- It's way too soon
to be excited,
- [toilet flushes]
1259
01:17:06,578 --> 01:17:09,146
- but I am a possible
winner...
- What is it, Mother?
1260
01:17:09,189 --> 01:17:12,671
Kelly, a detective is on
his way to Defiance right now.
1261
01:17:12,715 --> 01:17:15,543
I'm in the running for the
"Time of Your Life" contest.
1262
01:17:15,587 --> 01:17:18,155
- Is this a big one?
- It's very big.
1263
01:17:18,198 --> 01:17:20,940
We need to clean this place
up. Betsy, Davey, pick
up your toys.
1264
01:17:20,984 --> 01:17:23,203
Tuff, get all that
stuff off the table.
1265
01:17:23,247 --> 01:17:26,685
Mike... Dad give Mike
some money, send him to the
store for some Dr. Pepper.
1266
01:17:26,729 --> 01:17:30,820
- What for?
-We need to show the detective
we're using the product.
1267
01:17:30,863 --> 01:17:34,171
This is my last dollar.
what if we don't win?
1268
01:17:34,214 --> 01:17:36,739
- That's a problem
for another day.
- Go, Mike.
1269
01:17:36,782 --> 01:17:40,220
-Get it from the refrigerator,
we want to serve it cold.
- OK, Mom.
1270
01:17:40,264 --> 01:17:43,702
Tuff? Take all this stuff
and put it on the back porch.
1271
01:17:43,746 --> 01:17:47,488
Barbie, stop crying,
honey, and get me
a broom for goodness sake.
1272
01:17:49,142 --> 01:17:51,710
[gasping]
1273
01:17:54,582 --> 01:17:57,150
[man] Are you employed
outside the home?
1274
01:17:57,194 --> 01:18:01,894
Oh, goodness, no.
I have enough to do here.
1275
01:18:01,938 --> 01:18:04,070
And your husband,
what does he do?
1276
01:18:04,114 --> 01:18:07,291
He's a machinist.
1277
01:18:07,334 --> 01:18:10,947
Do you own or...
rent your home?
1278
01:18:10,990 --> 01:18:13,645
We own it.
1279
01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:16,604
One car
or a two car family?
1280
01:18:16,648 --> 01:18:18,476
One car. A Chevy.
1281
01:18:18,519 --> 01:18:21,958
- The one parked out front?
- Yes.
1282
01:18:22,001 --> 01:18:24,395
You need to put some
more air into those tires.
1283
01:18:24,438 --> 01:18:26,353
Oh? Oh!
1284
01:18:26,397 --> 01:18:28,965
OK, final question.
1285
01:18:30,488 --> 01:18:32,751
If you were stuck
on a desert island
1286
01:18:32,795 --> 01:18:35,536
and you only had
one beverage to drink...
1287
01:18:37,103 --> 01:18:39,453
...what would the beverage be?
1288
01:18:40,541 --> 01:18:43,370
Orange juice.
1289
01:18:43,414 --> 01:18:45,416
Orange juice?
1290
01:18:47,723 --> 01:18:51,727
To prevent scurvy.
But my beverage of choice
is Dr. Pepper, of course.
1291
01:18:54,251 --> 01:18:57,994
- Thanks for the honesty.
- A pleasure, Det. Feeney.
1292
01:18:58,037 --> 01:19:00,083
That's it. When the
final decision's made,
1293
01:19:00,126 --> 01:19:02,868
you'll be
notified immediately.
1294
01:19:05,523 --> 01:19:08,874
- And when might that be?
- Oh, two weeks to a month.
1295
01:19:08,918 --> 01:19:11,007
Oh, I see.
1296
01:19:11,050 --> 01:19:15,228
- Thank you for coming by.
- The pleasure's all mine.
1297
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:21,844
- [sighs]
- [giggles] Orange juice.
1298
01:19:21,887 --> 01:19:24,455
What kind of crazy
answer was that?
1299
01:19:24,498 --> 01:19:27,240
I think your mother
did a heck of a job,
1300
01:19:27,284 --> 01:19:29,242
what do you think, kids?
1301
01:19:29,286 --> 01:19:31,157
What if we win
and it's too late?
1302
01:19:31,201 --> 01:19:33,986
What's with the doom and
gloom? We're halfway there.
1303
01:19:34,030 --> 01:19:37,773
Mom, will me and Davey still
have to go to the farm?
1304
01:19:37,816 --> 01:19:42,125
We don't know yet,
honey. It's something
we have to prepare for.
1305
01:19:42,168 --> 01:19:44,431
Don't listen to Mom.
She's just being modest.
1306
01:19:44,475 --> 01:19:47,304
None of those other entries
are as good as hers.
She's a shoo-in.
1307
01:19:47,347 --> 01:19:50,698
I'm not a shoo-in.
There could be 20 other
people up for this prize.
1308
01:19:50,742 --> 01:19:53,136
Don't worry, kids.
Everything is going to be OK.
1309
01:19:53,179 --> 01:19:56,182
No, it isn't.
Even if we do win, so what?
1310
01:19:56,226 --> 01:19:58,010
We'll be just as poor
as we were before
1311
01:19:58,054 --> 01:20:00,273
because of all the
money you stole from us.
1312
01:20:00,317 --> 01:20:01,971
I didn't steal anything!
1313
01:20:02,014 --> 01:20:04,190
I made an error
in judgment.
1314
01:20:04,234 --> 01:20:05,844
Heck of an error.
1315
01:20:05,888 --> 01:20:08,412
You all think this
isn't tearing me apart?
1316
01:20:08,455 --> 01:20:12,633
I did it to pay the bills.
I wanted you kids
to eat steak.
1317
01:20:12,677 --> 01:20:15,811
I wanted your mother to have
one decent piece of furniture,
1318
01:20:15,854 --> 01:20:17,769
that didn't look like
it came from a thrift store.
1319
01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,815
I don't care!
1320
01:20:19,858 --> 01:20:22,687
- I want our house back!
- It isn't gone yet!
1321
01:20:22,730 --> 01:20:24,907
So, have a little faith,
for Christ's sake.
1322
01:20:27,083 --> 01:20:31,217
OK, Tuff, now you've
upset your mother.
1323
01:20:36,570 --> 01:20:38,921
You OK, Mother?
1324
01:20:49,627 --> 01:20:52,064
If you don't win this one,
there'll always be another...
1325
01:20:52,108 --> 01:20:55,285
No, there won't.
1326
01:20:55,328 --> 01:20:58,854
In another year, there won't
be any of these contests left.
1327
01:20:58,897 --> 01:21:03,032
If we lose this house,
that's it.
1328
01:21:03,075 --> 01:21:06,165
I can't buy another house
with a three-dollar poetry
prize, now can I?
1329
01:21:09,734 --> 01:21:12,737
- You'll think of something.
- No. You think of something!
1330
01:21:12,780 --> 01:21:15,914
It's your turn, your turn
to make things right
because I'm out of ideas.
1331
01:21:18,874 --> 01:21:22,138
- Please don't fall apart.
- For God's sakes, Kelly,
I'm not a saint.
1332
01:21:22,181 --> 01:21:25,576
If you can't stand to
see me upset, then go away.
1333
01:21:25,619 --> 01:21:28,709
Let me do it in peace.
1334
01:21:34,367 --> 01:21:35,978
All right.
1335
01:21:43,115 --> 01:21:46,118
[shuts door]
1336
01:22:27,029 --> 01:22:28,856
Thanks.
1337
01:22:30,946 --> 01:22:34,123
Mom, there are
bugs in the soup.
1338
01:22:34,166 --> 01:22:36,560
- I have them too.
- Me too.
1339
01:22:40,259 --> 01:22:43,001
Those aren't bugs.
They're spices.
1340
01:22:43,045 --> 01:22:45,308
- They have legs.
- Don't be silly.
Spices don't have legs.
1341
01:22:50,791 --> 01:22:53,011
There are no bugs
in the soup.
1342
01:22:53,055 --> 01:22:55,361
Listen to
your mother, kids.
1343
01:23:08,331 --> 01:23:09,985
[telephone rings]
1344
01:23:15,338 --> 01:23:17,209
- Hello?
- [man] Hello. Mrs. Kelly
Ryan?
1345
01:23:17,253 --> 01:23:20,038
- Yes, yes, this is she.
- Congratulations.
1346
01:23:20,082 --> 01:23:23,302
You have won a free
offer from Bright Way Rug
and Upholstery Cleaners.
1347
01:23:23,346 --> 01:23:26,610
We will give you our special
living room discount.
1348
01:23:26,653 --> 01:23:30,266
Plus, we will clean one
area rug, absolutely free.
1349
01:23:30,309 --> 01:23:33,095
- [Barb crying]
- Hello, ma'am?
1350
01:23:33,138 --> 01:23:35,923
We're not interested,
thank you.
1351
01:23:37,360 --> 01:23:40,058
It's all right. Shh, shh, shh.
it's all right.
1352
01:23:43,931 --> 01:23:46,630
It's all right. Shh.
1353
01:23:54,333 --> 01:23:56,727
Mommy, what do
we do with this?
1354
01:23:56,770 --> 01:23:59,512
Just put it all on the
front porch. Thank you, girls.
1355
01:24:01,775 --> 01:24:04,169
Hey, Davey,
go outside with that.
1356
01:24:27,845 --> 01:24:29,107
[telephone rings]
1357
01:24:43,078 --> 01:24:44,514
- Hello?
- [man] Hello.
1358
01:24:44,557 --> 01:24:48,170
- Is this Mrs. Evelyn L. Ryan?
- This is she.
1359
01:24:48,213 --> 01:24:51,260
Mrs. Ryan, it's my
pleasure to inform you
1360
01:24:51,303 --> 01:24:53,175
that you are our
first-prize winner
1361
01:24:53,218 --> 01:24:55,786
in the Dr. Pepper
"Time of Your Life" contest.
1362
01:24:55,829 --> 01:24:57,831
Oh, my word.
1363
01:24:57,875 --> 01:25:00,138
You've won a trip
for two to Switzerland,
1364
01:25:00,182 --> 01:25:03,359
a Ford Mustang,
his and hers Longines watches
1365
01:25:03,402 --> 01:25:07,363
and cash in the
amount of $3,440.64.
1366
01:25:07,406 --> 01:25:09,321
Goodness, well...
1367
01:25:09,365 --> 01:25:13,151
...these prizes couldn't
come at a better time
for my large family.
1368
01:25:13,195 --> 01:25:16,067
- Kids!
- [laughing] I'm glad
to hear that, Mrs. Ryan.
1369
01:25:16,111 --> 01:25:18,461
- Come down here.
- You have every
reason to be proud.
1370
01:25:18,504 --> 01:25:22,160
Your entry beat
out 250,000 others.
1371
01:25:22,204 --> 01:25:24,989
Thank you for telling me that.
1372
01:25:25,032 --> 01:25:27,731
You've brightened
my day considerably.
1373
01:25:27,774 --> 01:25:30,168
Thank you, Mrs. Ryan.
Good day.
1374
01:25:32,605 --> 01:25:36,870
- We won!
- [everyone screams]
1375
01:25:45,444 --> 01:25:47,185
Mom, can we go
tell the neighbors?
1376
01:25:47,229 --> 01:25:49,144
You can tell
whoever you want!
1377
01:26:01,504 --> 01:26:04,115
Tuffy, it's OK.
1378
01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:06,900
Everything's going to be OK.
We're all going to be OK.
1379
01:26:06,944 --> 01:26:09,947
No, we aren't.
1380
01:26:12,515 --> 01:26:15,213
- For cripe's sake.
- You go on outside,
I'll take care of her.
1381
01:26:16,954 --> 01:26:19,957
Come on, let's go
tell everybody. Come on.
1382
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:22,394
[giggling]
1383
01:26:22,438 --> 01:26:25,789
[Bruce] We won!
We won the big contest!
1384
01:26:32,883 --> 01:26:35,277
He's never going to change.
1385
01:26:35,320 --> 01:26:37,714
You're absolutely right.
1386
01:26:37,757 --> 01:26:39,672
He's not.
1387
01:26:44,199 --> 01:26:46,766
[sighs] Do you know
1388
01:26:46,810 --> 01:26:49,029
what that man said to me
on the phone just now?
1389
01:26:49,073 --> 01:26:50,727
No.
1390
01:26:50,770 --> 01:26:55,166
He said that I beat
250,000 other entries.
1391
01:26:55,210 --> 01:26:59,605
And do you
know what else?
1392
01:26:59,649 --> 01:27:01,781
It wasn't
even my best one.
1393
01:27:04,697 --> 01:27:07,570
Honey...
1394
01:27:07,613 --> 01:27:10,616
Honey, you have your
whole life in front of you,
1395
01:27:10,660 --> 01:27:14,011
and you can make
of it whatever you want.
1396
01:27:14,054 --> 01:27:17,275
You have a marvelous mind.
1397
01:27:17,319 --> 01:27:20,626
And a beautiful heart.
1398
01:27:22,715 --> 01:27:25,544
And you can
accomplish anything.
1399
01:27:27,111 --> 01:27:29,896
Everything is possible.
1400
01:27:29,940 --> 01:27:33,248
Do you know that?
1401
01:27:37,904 --> 01:27:40,820
[sighs]
1402
01:27:40,864 --> 01:27:42,866
Forgive him, Tuff.
1403
01:27:45,434 --> 01:27:48,306
Forgive him so you
can embrace this...
1404
01:27:48,350 --> 01:27:51,440
...truly remarkable day.
1405
01:28:05,932 --> 01:28:08,239
I love you, Mom.
1406
01:28:11,721 --> 01:28:13,853
I love you.
1407
01:28:13,897 --> 01:28:18,902
♪ Bye-bye blue
1408
01:28:21,644 --> 01:28:26,388
♪ Bye-bye blue
1409
01:28:29,478 --> 01:28:32,959
♪ Bells ring
1410
01:28:33,003 --> 01:28:36,180
♪ Birds sing
1411
01:28:36,223 --> 01:28:40,227
♪ Sun is shining
1412
01:28:40,271 --> 01:28:44,101
♪ No more pining
1413
01:28:44,144 --> 01:28:46,103
[Evelyn] I never made
it to Switzerland.
1414
01:28:46,146 --> 01:28:48,888
Naturally, I cashed in the
trip to pay off the mortgage.
1415
01:28:50,629 --> 01:28:53,980
However, I did get
my chance to travel.
1416
01:28:54,024 --> 01:28:58,158
To Dallas, Texas where
Dr. Pepper made me
their own queen for a day.
1417
01:28:58,202 --> 01:29:01,205
- Oh.
- However, I was deeply
annoyed by the hat,
1418
01:29:01,248 --> 01:29:03,555
as my hair was flattened
for the rest of the day.
1419
01:29:05,514 --> 01:29:08,604
It was the first time I ate
a meal I didn't have to cook,
1420
01:29:08,647 --> 01:29:10,823
on a plate that I
didn't have to wash.
1421
01:29:12,695 --> 01:29:16,438
Or soaked in a tub that
I didn't have to scrub.
1422
01:29:16,481 --> 01:29:21,791
Or slept in a bed,
that I didn't have to make.
1423
01:29:21,834 --> 01:29:24,881
I never won another
major contest after that.
1424
01:29:24,924 --> 01:29:29,233
Nor did I ever travel
much beyond the
Ohio-Indiana state line.
1425
01:29:30,365 --> 01:29:33,716
[kids laughing]
1426
01:29:33,759 --> 01:29:35,631
Drive safely.
1427
01:29:35,674 --> 01:29:37,676
But I'm happy to report,
every one of my children
1428
01:29:37,720 --> 01:29:39,504
got the chance
to see the world beyond.
1429
01:29:43,290 --> 01:29:45,292
I saw them off
to California,
1430
01:29:45,336 --> 01:29:47,904
Colorado, Virginia,
1431
01:29:47,947 --> 01:29:50,297
Texas, Florida,
1432
01:29:50,341 --> 01:29:52,517
New York.
1433
01:29:52,561 --> 01:29:55,302
I've watched them
graduate college, play ball,
1434
01:29:55,346 --> 01:29:57,348
practice nursing,
practice law.
1435
01:29:57,392 --> 01:29:59,045
Bye, Mom.
1436
01:30:02,092 --> 01:30:05,356
- And yes, some of them
have even written books.
-[Kelly] Goodbye!
1437
01:30:16,367 --> 01:30:18,325
My husband, Kelly,
bless his soul,
1438
01:30:18,369 --> 01:30:20,458
found his peace, at last.
1439
01:30:20,502 --> 01:30:23,026
He left a legacy of
atonement that, frankly,
1440
01:30:23,069 --> 01:30:25,289
took my breath away.
1441
01:30:25,332 --> 01:30:29,206
He deposited his pension
checks in a secret account,
1442
01:30:29,249 --> 01:30:32,383
that he had opened
just for me.
1443
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:35,995
I never had to worry about
earning another nickel again.
1444
01:30:41,392 --> 01:30:45,352
- Does anyone want these?
- You can have it.
1445
01:30:45,396 --> 01:30:47,790
[Evelyn] When it was my time
to take leave of this world,
1446
01:30:47,833 --> 01:30:51,010
all my chicks were
there to see me off.
1447
01:30:51,054 --> 01:30:53,056
It was a lovely day, indeed.
1448
01:31:02,413 --> 01:31:05,895
Tuff, you want to
take Mom's typewriter?
1449
01:31:34,227 --> 01:31:36,316
Oh, my goodness.
1450
01:31:36,360 --> 01:31:38,493
I believe this was
the last thing I ever wrote.
1451
01:31:40,233 --> 01:31:43,585
"Every time I pass the church,
I stop and make a visit.
1452
01:31:43,628 --> 01:31:45,587
So when I'm carried in
feet first,
1453
01:31:45,630 --> 01:31:48,328
God won't say,
'Who is it?'"
1454
01:31:49,852 --> 01:31:51,810
Well, it's not my best.
1455
01:31:51,854 --> 01:31:53,725
But the sentiment is right.
1456
01:32:30,283 --> 01:32:33,025
[♪k.d. lang: I'm Sitting
on Top of the World]
1457
01:32:35,506 --> 01:32:37,813
♪ I'm sitting
1458
01:32:37,856 --> 01:32:41,730
♪ On top of the world
1459
01:32:43,470 --> 01:32:46,735
♪ Just rolling along
1460
01:32:46,778 --> 01:32:50,434
♪ Rolling along
1461
01:32:52,654 --> 01:32:54,612
♪ I'm quitting
1462
01:32:54,656 --> 01:32:58,660
♪ The blues of the world
1463
01:33:00,531 --> 01:33:02,751
♪ Just singing a song
1464
01:33:04,448 --> 01:33:07,320
♪ Singing a song
1465
01:33:08,713 --> 01:33:10,933
♪ Glory hallelujah
1466
01:33:10,976 --> 01:33:14,153
♪ I just called the parson
1467
01:33:14,197 --> 01:33:19,028
♪ Said, "Hey, par,
get ready to call ♪
1468
01:33:19,071 --> 01:33:23,641
♪ 'Cause just
like Humpty Dumpty ♪
1469
01:33:23,685 --> 01:33:27,036
♪ I'm ready to fall"
1470
01:33:27,079 --> 01:33:29,125
♪ I'm sitting
1471
01:33:29,168 --> 01:33:33,216
♪ On top of the world
1472
01:33:34,521 --> 01:33:38,308
♪ Just rolling along
1473
01:33:38,351 --> 01:33:41,659
♪ Rolling along
1474
01:33:54,193 --> 01:33:56,718
[chorus] ♪ Ooh
1475
01:34:00,025 --> 01:34:02,245
♪ Glory hallelujah
1476
01:34:02,288 --> 01:34:05,683
♪ I just called the parson
1477
01:34:05,727 --> 01:34:11,515
♪ Said, "Hey, par,
get ready to call ♪
1478
01:34:11,558 --> 01:34:15,475
♪ 'Cause just
like Humpty Dumpty ♪
1479
01:34:15,519 --> 01:34:18,522
♪ I'm ready to fall"
1480
01:34:18,565 --> 01:34:20,524
♪ I'm sitting
1481
01:34:20,567 --> 01:34:24,746
♪ On top of the world
1482
01:34:26,008 --> 01:34:29,272
♪ Just rolling along
1483
01:34:29,315 --> 01:34:32,275
♪ Rolling along
1484
01:34:34,407 --> 01:34:38,237
♪ Just rolling along
1485
01:34:38,281 --> 01:34:41,153
♪ Rolling along
1486
01:34:42,633 --> 01:34:46,550
♪ Just rolling along
1487
01:34:46,593 --> 01:34:50,249
♪ Rolling along
108502
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.