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Your mum would've been so proud
seeing you look so grown up.
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So, so proud.
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00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:10,960
She knew you were special.
4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,960
And this week,
it's time to show the world, too.
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THEY CACKLE
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00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,480
Oh, my God!
7
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What the fuck's that?
8
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Look at the state of this muppet!
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Presenting Christopher Boniface
Sixtus the Great Bellend!
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Whoo!
LAUGHTER
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I'm not gonna lie.
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You look like you're off
to buy some slaves, lad. Oh, sir!
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Me shine shoes, sir.
14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,960
I qualified brain surgeon,
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but Rishi say I need two jobs
or they send me to Rwanda.
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Please tell them
this my second job, sir.
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Please! Please!
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Come 'ead.
19
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,960
It's careers week, boys.
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This could be the first step
to the job
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00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,960
you're gonna do
for the rest of your lives.
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Kind of important, don't you think?
Why?
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Why? Because your job
gives you your purpose.
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It's a part of your identity.
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Lad, we're not like you.
We don't think you job defines you.
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There's Maccies Mike!
27
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Oi! Mike!
28
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Do us a Big Mac, you sweaty gherkin!
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Ha-ha-ha!
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THEY LAUGH
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See you Friday, la!
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Look, I don't need any muppets
telling me what to do with my life.
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I'm sorted. I'm starting a joinery
apprenticeship soon as, lad.
36
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,960
Yeah, Philibert, think about it.
37
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How many doors are there
in the world?
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There's always work.
39
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And you can work in every country,
because every country needs doors.
40
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Doesn't matter how many doors
there are, you know, Reece.
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You'll never open one
to find your dad.
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MUSIC: 'Doorstep'
by Silent-K
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CACKLES
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God, look at him.
45
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Has he got no shame?
46
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Hacks your TikTok
and then just runs around laughing.
47
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,960
God, is there any point
in this school
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00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:03,960
even having a careers week
49
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Ha!
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Imagine employers, like,
actually looking at their CVs.
51
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Name: Lewis Connolly.
52
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Achievements: national record
for most wanks in a day
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and most scraps in a day.
54
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Wow.
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Straighteners.
Aw, me ideal straightener
56
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would defo be Vladimir Putin,
and saying,
57
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"I'm not racist, lad, but..."
58
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Let me do one.
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Erm... yeah, him.
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00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,960
Name? Mo Fassi.
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Achievements?
Erm, I can put my Goodfella's pizza
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in the oven all by myself,
without me ma's help.
63
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,160
Hobbies? Staying up till 3am
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00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,960
watching some fella on YouTube
rate fried chicken.
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THEY LAUGH
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00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,960
Anyways, girl, get you arse here.
It's a big week for you.
67
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Er, I'm just doin' me nails.
68
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I'll be there in a bit.
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00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,960
'All right, love,
I'll see you soon.'
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Dad.
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00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,960
Dad!
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I swear, I wasn't there!
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Is it fair to say, Mr Duffy,
74
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,960
that you frequent that area
most evenings?
75
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Yeah, but I wasn't there
that evening.
76
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,960
Is it correct, Mr Duffy, that your
previous conviction was for theft?
77
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That was the biggest mistake
of me life, and I paid the price.
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I don't even get to see
me kids any more.
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HE SOBS
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Oh, I'm sorry, Reece,
I didn't mean to hit a raw nerve.
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LAUGHTER
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OK. Very clever.
83
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,960
That was an example
of a cross-examination.
84
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My name's Lorna, I'm a barrister,
85
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,960
and I think it's great you're
all getting enthused about law
86
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,960
as this week,
we'll be staging a mock trial,
87
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,800
and my chambers would like to offer
a mini-pupillage
88
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to the student
that shows the most potential
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00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,960
for a career
in the legal profession.
90
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,320
What's a mini-pupillage?
91
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,960
Connor's nickname for his tiny cock.
92
00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,320
It's a short
work experience placement
93
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,960
where you'll shadow myself
and attend court hearings.
94
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,160
You should defo pick me, Miss,
95
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,800
cos I am dead good
at just looking at someone
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00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,640
and knowing whether they're a perv.
97
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,160
You wouldn't even need
to take it to trial.
98
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,960
I'll bear that in mind.
Thank you...?
99
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:13,960
Mia-Louise Turner.
100
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,960
Thank you, Mia-Louise.
101
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,960
OK, I have your answers here
102
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,960
to the legal question
we posed last week.
103
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,960
Barry has been charged
with manslaughter
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after an altercation
with his friend Terry
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ended with Terry falling
and striking his head,
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causing his death.
107
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How would you advise Barry?
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A lot of you gave general advice
to Barry,
109
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when the question
meant legal advice.
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"Change your name.
Nobody's called Barry any more."
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"I heard it was a sex game
gone wrong."
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LAUGHTER
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"Have you got
Terry's missus' number?
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"She's on the market,
and I heard she's a stunner."
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00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,160
But me two favourite answers
were Christopher,
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00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,960
who advised, "He should plead guilty
to involuntary manslaughter
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"for a reduced sentence,"
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and Reece, who took
a more unorthodox approach
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and said, "Bazza should say
he was sleepwalking."
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I got the idea
when Connor stayed at mine.
121
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I punched him in the head
in the night
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and said I was sleepwalking.
123
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,960
He believed me! Classic automatism.
124
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,960
Very good, Reece.
125
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,000
Automatism is indeed
a valid legal defence.
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So, well done to Christopher,
127
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,800
who will be
the prosecuting barrister,
128
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,960
and Reece, who will defend.
129
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,960
This is the mock trial we'll be
getting our teeth into...
130
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,960
Er, Miss? Are you messing?
131
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,160
Who cares whether Benjamin
had his bike stolen?
132
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,960
He's about 30
and still wearing those shorts?
133
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,000
Nonce territory, that, Miss.
134
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,960
Yeah, can't we do something
more interesting, like?
135
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,960
We should trial Lewis
for hacking Aimee's TikTok
136
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,960
and posting a video
slagging off girls in the school,
137
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,960
so everyone thinks she posted it.
138
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,960
Freya Moore's dad is in prison,
139
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,960
and her mum is a drunkard crackhead,
140
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,960
but the most tragic thing about her
is still that shocking unibrow.
141
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,800
And he's still denying it, the rat.
CLAMOUR
142
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All right, that.
He's bang out of order.
143
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OK, OK.
144
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,800
This is clearly a passionate issue
dear to all your hearts.
145
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Let's do it.
Lewis is in the mud!
146
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Mudded!
147
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,000
CHEERING
148
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,640
Wealth.
149
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,960
What does it do?
150
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,960
Does wealth define dreams?
151
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,960
Or do dreams define wealth?
152
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This door won't open.
153
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It's locked!
154
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Inequality within
the acting profession.
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Glass ceiling?
156
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,800
Don't you mean class ceiling?
157
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,960
Eeh.
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Oh, I'm a bellend.
159
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,960
Don't you mean,
I'm a complete bellend?
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APPLAUSE
161
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That was a little piece that I wrote
about how access and success
162
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within the British acting profession
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is increasingly dominated by those
from privileged class origins.
164
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But I wanna change that.
165
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I wanna show you
how to unlock that door.
166
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,960
Yeah? I just wanna say,
I loved your use of stage proxemics.
167
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,800
It really helped emphasise
the points of tension.
168
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,960
Thank you very much.
What's your name?
169
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Grace.
170
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,800
In Greek mythology, it means charm,
beauty and fertility.
171
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Well, you're obviously a very
knowledgeable young lady, Grace.
172
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Thanks.
I go to an evening drama school,
173
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and we cover a lot
of the techniques there.
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Fantastic.
175
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So, who else, like our Grace here,
has the drive to become an actor?
176
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Me. My dream is to become
the first person from Merseyside
177
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to win an Oscar
since Glenda Jackson in 1973.
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LAUGHTER
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Eeh, why are youse laughing?
Eh, it's called ambition.
180
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Yeah, but you also need hard work
181
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,960
to go along
with that blind ambition.
182
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So, what do you do
to really push yourself?
183
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,960
I do drama GCSE.
184
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,480
Well, if you really want that Oscar,
185
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,960
maybe you should be doing more,
like our Grace here.
186
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:59,320
So, the school has asked me to do
an acting masterclass this week,
187
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,960
but I'm also casting
for an indie film project
188
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,960
about young, working-class kids
growing up in Liverpool.
189
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,960
But I thought you
were a fancy film director?
190
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,960
No, I'm a casting director,
191
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,640
so I choose the right actors
for the films.
192
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,960
Oh, that sounds easy, that.
193
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,480
"You, you're good. Be in that."
194
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,960
I want to cast
the female lead locally,
195
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,960
so I'll be visiting a few schools
over the next few weeks,
196
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,160
and I'll invite the best
from each school to a casting day.
197
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,960
Why don't you just be
a real director instead?
198
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,960
Er, it's not exactly as easy
as all that.
199
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,960
So, if you're interested,
200
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,960
auditions will be held
Wednesday afternoon.
201
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Let's get rehearsing!
202
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,960
What are you having a go at him for?
203
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,960
You do realise he's gonna cast
someone for an actual film?
204
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It would kinda help if he liked me.
205
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,960
All right, well,
what's got into you?
206
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,960
And why did you say
about putting Lewis on trial?
207
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,960
Er, what do you mean?
I was trying to help you!
208
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,960
Rehearsals are where
the real hard work happens.
209
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,960
They'll either darken
your performance or...
210
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:57,960
light it up.
211
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,640
Good luck, my learned friend!
212
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,960
May the best man win.
213
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,480
May the man with
the poshest voice win, you mean.
214
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,960
Oh, come on!
You belong in the courtroom too.
215
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,960
Putting in the doors!
216
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,960
Lad, you're obsessed, you,
aren't you?
217
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,480
Don't get so busy making a living
218
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,160
that you forget to live your life,
yeah?
219
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,960
See you in court!
220
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,960
MUSIC: 'Black Betty'
by Ram Jam
221
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,960
I'm gonna cross-examine
these bad boys.
222
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,960
SNIFFS
223
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,960
Yeah, that's the one! That's it.
224
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,960
That's it. That is it, lad.
225
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,960
Seriously, Reece?
226
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,960
'Are you messing, lad?'
227
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,960
It's gotta be Fowler, dickhead.
228
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,000
He was nicer looking.
Yeah, he's nicer looking.
229
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,960
GROANING
230
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,960
Good luck.
231
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,320
Looks like you've got a bowl
of Koka noodles on your head, lad.
232
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,960
At least I make an effort.
233
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,960
Order!
234
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,960
RAP MUSIC PLAYS
235
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,160
JEERING
236
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,960
Look at the state of him!
237
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,800
What, then? What? What?
238
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:43,960
Tell me!
Lewis.
239
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,960
We go way back!
240
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:47,960
She's the one that got me off
241
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,960
when I was accused of smashing
a motorbike up.
242
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,960
She is a superb barrister.
That's very kind, thank you.
243
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,960
And I 100% did it as well,
so she's very good, like.
244
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,320
OK, Christopher, are you ready
for your opening statement?
245
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,960
Members of the jury,
this case is simple.
246
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,960
It is about an angry man
who sought revenge.
247
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,000
And when he remembered
his ex-girlfriend
248
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,960
doesn't use two-step authentication
on her TikTok account,
249
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,960
he saw his chance to strike!
250
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,960
Miss Aimee Morris is a kind,
passionate,
251
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,640
driven young woman,
252
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,160
and hacking into her account
and posting a defamatory video
253
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,960
was a deliberate attempt
to sabotage that reputation
254
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,960
and paint her as a villain.
255
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,960
But you will hear evidence
during this case
256
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,960
that proves the only villain here...
257
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,960
is Mr Lewis Connolly.
Nah.
258
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,960
I'm no villain, me.
259
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,000
If any of youse reckon I'm guilty,
yeah,
260
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,480
I'll bring your mas here
to the court and shag them.
261
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,960
And even if you say, "Objection,"
I'll keep shagging them.
262
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,960
JEERING
263
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,960
Order!
264
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,960
Reece, do you actually have
an opening statement?
265
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,160
Yes. Yes, I do.
266
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,960
Members of the jury,
would you please?
267
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,960
Reece! Reece! Reece!
Reece! Reece! Reece!
268
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,960
Lads, you need to take this
seriously!
269
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,960
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!
270
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,960
Order! Order!
271
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,960
Would you say Lewis was bitter
about you breaking up with him?
272
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,800
So bitter that he sought revenge?
273
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,960
Defo. He used to write me
these weird love poems.
274
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,960
For the purpose of the court,
Mr Connolly,
275
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,960
can you please read out
the evidence as presented?
276
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,960
A...
277
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:34,960
is for "amazing tits".
278
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:35,960
Vile.
279
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,960
I...
280
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,960
is for "interesting arse".
281
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,960
M...
282
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,480
..is for "marvellous fanny".
283
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,960
Ugh!
E...
284
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,960
..is for "excited to eat you out".
285
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,000
Knocks me sick.
E...
286
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,960
..is for "eating you out".
287
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:55,960
Ugh!
Hang on!
288
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,640
He stole that
from a John Keates poem!
289
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,960
Who?
290
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,960
Miss Morris,
could you please look at this?
291
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,960
Let's all do the beach, man!
292
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,960
Let's all do the beach, man!
293
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,000
Nah, nah, nah, nah!
Order in the court!
294
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,960
Members of the jury,
295
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,960
I hired an online sleuth
to obtain the IP address
296
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,160
of where the TikTok post originated.
297
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,960
What the fuck's a sleuth?
298
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,960
And this is the e-mail I received
which states
299
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,320
that the IP address matches
a computer in the school library.
300
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,960
So?
Who cares?
301
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,960
OK, well, wait for this.
302
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,960
We have an eyewitness statement
that says they saw Mr Connolly
303
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,960
using that same computer
on Friday at 12:29.
304
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,320
What is he on about?
Who cares?
305
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,960
The TikTok post was made at 12:31!
306
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,960
GASPS
307
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,960
CLAMOUR
308
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:50,960
You're finished.
309
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,960
Lad, I need your help.
I didn't do it.
310
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,960
Look, like, that poem, yeah?
311
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,960
I just wanted her to know
I was hurting because...
312
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,960
..it kills me that I love her
313
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,000
and she doesn't feel the same
about me.
314
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,960
Please?
315
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:16,960
If you get me off,
no more dad jokes.
316
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,480
OK, OK, maybe down to, like,
one a month.
317
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,960
I'll make a conscious shift
from quantity to quality.
318
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,320
Swear down.
319
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,960
Can someone get back to me
and tell me why it's been moved?
320
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,960
He's not going through
another two weeks of hell.
321
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,960
WAILING
322
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,960
Give me the drugs!
323
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,960
Cor, this dickhead and his torches.
324
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,960
Don't make me shoot my own brother!
325
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,960
WHIMPERS
326
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,000
APPLAUSE
327
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:02,960
And that was completely improvised
because in acting,
328
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,960
sometimes you have to think
on your feet.
329
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,960
Do you know, it actually felt
really real, Sir.
330
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,960
Like, me dad killed his brother
just last week for drugs.
331
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,960
And the street name for all drugs
these days is just "drugs".
332
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,800
Saves all the confusion.
333
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,800
Thank you.
334
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,960
And I'm sorry for your loss.
335
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,960
Let's do some improv situations.
336
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:24,960
I'll set you in pairs,
337
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,960
and you can use this torch
as a creative prop
338
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,960
to help inspire the scene.
339
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:34,960
Welcome to
the Socially "In just this" podcast.
340
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,960
This week,
we're discussing white privilege.
341
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,960
My guest today is Mia-Louise.
342
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:40,960
Good afternoon.
343
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,960
you're white privilege, girl,
for saying "good afternoon"
344
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,960
just cos white people
have generally had good afternoons.
345
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,960
What about Black people and slavery?
346
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,000
They weren't good afternoons,
were they?
347
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,960
So, according to our records,
you've been unemployed
348
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,960
and on Universal Credit
for two years since leaving school.
349
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,960
How's that job search going?
350
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,960
I'm sure there's something
out there for me. Hmm.
351
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,160
Hm.
352
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,960
What is white privilege?
353
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:05,960
How do we define it?
354
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,960
Er, is it a young white girl
who thinks she's interesting enough
355
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,960
to have her own podcast and then
constantly emails everyone about it?
356
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,960
I've found a cleaning job
here at Asda.
357
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960
Would you be interested?
358
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,960
Nothing against cleaning,
but I'd like to do something
359
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,480
in the entertainment industry.
360
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:25,960
Oh, my God, the host of the podcast
has just been arrested live on air.
361
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,800
For a violent racial hate crime.
On a woman.
362
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,640
Who was also a refugee!
363
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,960
Then she's burnt the Pride flag,
and she's even chopped down a tree!
364
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,160
But sometimes you have to be
a bit more realistic
365
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,960
with our careers.
366
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,160
You know, we can't waste our lives
chasing an unrealistic dream
367
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,000
with nothing to fall back on.
368
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,960
For example, you try to make it
as a singer, fail
369
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,960
and end up becoming
a bad Elvis impersonator
370
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,320
who can't support his family.
371
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,960
Shut up, you stupid, pouty bitch!
372
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,960
GASPS
373
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,960
Exceptional, Grace.
374
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,000
The conflict really helped
imbue the scene with emotion.
375
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:07,800
I'll see you guys tomorrow,
at 1pm sharp, for the auditions.
376
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,960
Thanks for calling me back.
'How's tomorrow?'
377
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,640
Tomorrow is great. What time?
'1pm?
378
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,960
'Love?'
Yeah.
379
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,480
Yeah, that's OK.
380
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,960
Calling a hit on Grace?
381
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,960
My first was tough too,
but sometimes it has to be done.
382
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,960
Don't worry.
383
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,960
You're gonna do great
in the audition.
384
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,000
And tomorrow this whole school's
going to know what Lewis did to you.
385
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:39,000
Hello there.
I'm so sorry, can I cancel that hit?
386
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,000
Yeah, this posh divvy's
making me feel a lot better.
387
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,960
OK, thank you. Take care, bye-bye!
388
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,960
CHATTER
389
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,960
Order!
390
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,960
In the absence
of the defending barrister,
391
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,160
and on the charge of Lewis Connolly
392
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,800
hacking me mate's TikTok
and generally being a bad ming,
393
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,960
how do we find him?
394
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,960
Stop!
GASPS
395
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,640
The defence has some new evidence it
would like to share with the jury.
396
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,960
My "Leonard" friend said
397
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,960
that Mr Connolly was last seen
on said computer at 12:29.
398
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,960
And he's right, he was.
399
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,320
What are you playing at, lad?
400
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,960
But he wasn't on Aimee's TikTok.
401
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,960
He was printing materials off
for his big lunchtime wank,
402
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,000
cos everybody knows
he's not a good mind wanker.
403
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,960
MURMURS OF AGREEMENT
Lewis then took these materials
404
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,960
and enjoyed his lunchtime wank
in the bog.
405
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,960
Now, ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
406
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,960
can you help me with a question?
407
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,960
What time did my "Leonard" friend
408
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,800
say the TikTok post was made?
409
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,000
12:31.
410
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,960
Thank you for your assistance.
411
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,960
Now, as we all know,
412
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,960
Meachy likes to keep
a close eye on us.
413
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,160
So, here we have
Friday's CCTV footage
414
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,640
of the south corridor,
415
00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,960
where you will now see Mr Connolly
416
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:03,960
leaving the bogs
in post-nut clarity bliss.
417
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,000
Dirty bastard.
Vile.
418
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,960
Now, I know what youse are thinking,
ladies and gentlemen.
419
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,960
Lewis was on the computer at 12:29.
420
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,960
He printed his materials,
posted the TikTok at 12:31,
421
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:15,960
then went for his elite
lunchtime wank.
422
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,160
Except he didn't.
423
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,960
Because the time here is 12:32!
424
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960
I didn't post it!
425
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:23,960
I therefore put to you
426
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,960
that Mr Connolly
was actually wankin'
427
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,960
at the time in question.
428
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,960
GASPS
Oh, and also,
429
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,960
he's a rapid wanker too.
430
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,960
Get in!
431
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,960
Thank you so much.
I didn't post it.
432
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,960
Y-You do believe me, don't you?
433
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,480
I know we've never been
the best of mates, but...
434
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,480
Oh, my God, you don't.
435
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,960
Oh, my God. She did it.
436
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,160
Thank you, son.
437
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,640
Reece.
438
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,960
Could you come by our chambers
after school
439
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,960
to sort out the paperwork,
meet your fellow cohorts?
440
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,960
Reece! Reece! Reece!
441
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,960
Reece! Reece! Reece!
442
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,960
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!
Reece! Reece!
443
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,000
Reece! Reece! Reece! Reece!
444
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,960
Aims? Where you going?
445
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,960
Wahey-hey! Come on!
446
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,960
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
447
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,960
And when CCTV caught me putting
six school laptops in me car,
448
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,480
Meachy deepfaked it, lad.
449
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,960
I'm innocent! Come on!
450
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:27,960
Come on!
451
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,960
MUSIC: 'Dancing Girl'
by Terry Callier
452
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,960
453
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,480
454
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,960
Is she not coming?
455
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,960
456
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,960
457
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:55,960
'Ere.
458
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,960
459
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,960
Right, next we have...
460
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,960
Grace.
461
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,960
Eeh, why is she dressed like Aims?
462
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:06,960
I'll fucking hit her.
463
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,000
Thanks for coming in, Aimee.
464
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,960
As I was saying to your father,
we've analysed the MRI scan results.
465
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,960
Unfortunately, it has confirmed
areas of lesions in the brain.
466
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:17,960
I'll be OK.
467
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,960
The cost-of-living crises
468
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,960
has brought you
to the bones of your arse,
469
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,960
and now you've just been fired.
470
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,960
You can't do that!
471
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,960
It's humiliating as it is,
472
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,960
having to rely on charities
for toothpaste and bog roll.
473
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,960
I have a kid,
and her da does nothing.
474
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,960
I'm on me own.
475
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:39,960
Please!
476
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,480
477
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,960
Look...
478
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,960
we knew it was coming, didn't we?
479
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,960
'Ey?
480
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:54,960
Just think, the shaky legs
will help with me Elvis routine.
481
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,480
Come on.
482
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,960
The twilight zone...
483
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,960
Right, I'm doing me audition,
484
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,960
but I'm doing an improvised
monologue that fits the character.
485
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,960
Aimee, you're too late.
I have to get my train.
486
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,960
What do you do when
you feel like you're drowning?
487
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,960
When you go from being a kid
488
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,960
to suddenly having to deal with
heartbreak,
489
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,000
misery, anger?
490
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,320
They don't teach you that in school,
do they?
491
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,960
They act like...
492
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,960
as long as you study hard,
you'll be happy.
493
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,960
What they don't say is, one day...
494
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,000
..you might get bad news...
495
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,960
that makes you feel like
you've been thrown
496
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,640
into a deep hole of despair.
497
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,960
When you're a kid,
498
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:54,960
there is no problem
that your parents can't solve.
499
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,960
They're indestructible.
500
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,960
And then you get older...
501
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,960
..and it's devastating
to realise that they aren't.
502
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:13,960
Maybe that's why no-one prepares you
for being an adult.
503
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,960
Because they're still not prepared.
504
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,960
Maybe nothing can prepare you.
505
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,800
That was good, Aimee. Very good.
506
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,960
But you know what?
I just can't rely on you.
507
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,960
You're late, you're irritable,
508
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,960
and quite frankly, you're trouble,
509
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,320
and people don't like working
with trouble.
510
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,960
Grace... I'll see you in London.
511
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,960
'Ey, Jenson!
512
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,160
I looked you up on LinkedIn. Yeah.
513
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,960
You from around here, are you?
You're a fraud.
514
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,480
You're a joke, mate.
This whole school's a joke!
515
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,960
It's full of bad gimps!
516
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,960
You can all fuck off, mate!
517
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,960
Aims, what's goin' on?
518
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,160
All right, soft lad?
519
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,640
Where've you been?
520
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,480
The fella from your law placement
called me.
521
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,960
He said you did a runner.
522
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,960
I told him you better had the shits
or I'll kill you.
523
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,320
I've put it on Instagram, Reece!
524
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:21,160
"Hashtag so proud.
Hashtag lawyer in the family.
525
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,800
"Hashtag not the accused this time."
526
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,960
I know, Mum. I saw the 50 hashtags.
527
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,960
Then what the fuck happened?
528
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,960
There was this lad there
called Remington.
529
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,960
Some girl called Persephone.
She was quite fit.
530
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:39,000
But they were speaking about
Villa versus someone in 2018.
531
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,960
I thought they were speaking
about an FA Cup game,
532
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,960
but it turns out they were
speaking about some legal case,
533
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,960
a guy called Villa.
534
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,960
I felt like a tit, Mum.
535
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,960
So I just left.
536
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,960
Can't say I blame you.
537
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:02,160
Look, I'm not gonna force you
to go back if you don't want to, OK?
538
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,960
But I can't let you swerve it cos
you don't think you're good enough.
539
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,800
Fuck Persephone!
540
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,960
You've got just as much right to be
there as any of them have, son.
541
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,960
You've just gotta start
believing it, OK?
542
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,960
OK.
543
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,320
Your tea's inside.
544
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,960
Persephone!
545
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,960
"Hashtag so proud?"
546
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,960
I got you a gift to say well done
for winning the case.
547
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,960
For when you start
your joinery apprenticeship.
548
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,320
You mean to say sorry cos you
thought you were gonna win easily?
549
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,960
What? No. I gave you that impression
on purpose to help motivate you,
550
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:43,960
and it worked.
551
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,960
I would never assume anything!
552
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,160
I'm not that entitled.
553
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,480
Eurgh, my shoes are so dirty.
Where is he?
554
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,960
WHISTLES
555
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,000
No no no no no.
556
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,960
Now I'm the boss.
557
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,960
WHISTLES
558
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,960
Now mighty Mo runs
biggest shoeshine company
559
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,960
in whole of Merseyside.
560
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:05,960
We shine shoes, sir!
561
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,000
Yalla, yalla. Hey! Curly haired boy!
562
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,960
Quicker! Quicker!
563
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,960
564
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,640
And relax
565
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:21,960
566
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,960
To make this work
567
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,480
Down in the dirt
568
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,640
569
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,960
570
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,960
571
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:38,800
572
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,800
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