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(♪ Love As A Weapon ♪
by Little Scream)
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♪ I was putting on my raincoat ♪
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♪ When I saw myself again ♪
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♪ I was thinking about
how I felt ♪
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♪ When you fooled
my heart again ♪
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♪ When your love's not
a shelter ♪
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♪ And you get caught
in the rain ♪♪
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- So, how would we do this?
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- I love that question.
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- Do you mind logistically?
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- More physically.
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- We believe
in skin on skin.
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Eye contact building,
secure attachment.
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What is it we like?
The "seal?"
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- Oh, the "Dolphin."
Firm but flexible.
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- We're not into lawn mowering.
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- I don't know what that is.
- Or helicoptering.
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- Oh, right!
Is that where you would...
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- There has to be room
to breathe.
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- Oh, I'm not into
asphyxiation.
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- More free-range.
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- That sounds... so organic.
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- Exactly.
- I can be a tiger.
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- Wow. Great.
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- Well, protection
is everything.
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Especially, in the beginning.
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- Yeah, we have
to use protection.
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- What?
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- I can't wait
to all sleep together.
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(laughing)
- Me too.
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- No.
- Us and the babies.
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- What babies?
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- The babies that we...
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we both want to get
pregnant at the same time.
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But we wouldn't with you,
do the...
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- No, you would...
in a cup and then...
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(lips popping)
- I'm so confused.
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- Did you not put this
on our profile?
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- This was definitely
not on your profile.
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- Rosa's not great
with technology.
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- Oh, I take that
as a compliment.
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- We're best friends.
We met when we were 15?
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- Yeah, when we worked
in that bathing suit store.
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- Oh, he doesn't need
to know that.
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- The owner would make us
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try on the bikinis
just to, you know,
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like, see how they fit.
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And then he would
take our picture--
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- Stop, stop!
- And then...
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- Anyhow...
- In retrospect,
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it was very wrong.
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- We bonded,
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and we've been best friends
ever since.
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Now, we're both
recently single.
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- Out of some bad relationships.
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- The point is...
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we both always
wanted to be mothers,
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but we don't want
to do it alone.
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- We love each other.
60
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You know, but time is ticking
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so why not do it together?
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- But adoption
is super complicated.
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- And buying sperm is...
- We don't want that.
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- Because...
- We want a dad in the picture.
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- You'd be very much involved.
- Definitely.
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- But we can't have actual sex
with you because...
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- It can get complicated.
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- So...
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Why are you on
a threesome app?
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(light background chatter)
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- Why are we
on a threesome app?
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- Are we?
(chuckling nervously)
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- That is definitely
not a co-parenting app.
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- No.
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- You put "looking for daddy"
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on a threesome app?
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- Well, because we are.
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We are looking for daddy.
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(playful music)
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- Did you bring everything?
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- For the third time, yes.
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- After that debacle
with the co-parenting app,
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you can't really blame me
for worrying.
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- Well, that was kind
of your fault, though.
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- How is that my fault?
- Well, if you weren't
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in recovery from
your dating app addiction,
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you would've put us on the app.
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And none of that
would've happened.
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- Shh, he's coming.
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(footsteps approaching)
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- Sorry about the sweat.
I'm training for a triathlon.
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(man groans)
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Cycling's my weakest.
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(chuckling)
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- You're so athletic.
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(chuckles)
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- So...
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A mortgage,
I'm excited to help you
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take this next step.
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- Us, too. Very.
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- So let's start
with your assets.
102
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- Anna has more assets
than I do.
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- Don't sell yourself short.
Rosa also has assets.
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- Not really.
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- Did you bring everything?
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- My last two tax returns,
107
00:04:02,318 --> 00:04:05,154
my bank statement,
my credit card statement.
108
00:04:05,221 --> 00:04:07,189
I also have some savings.
Rosa does too.
109
00:04:07,256 --> 00:04:08,824
We could pool together
about 80k.
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- That's pretty low
for this city, but, um, okay.
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Uh, are you freelance?
112
00:04:13,396 --> 00:04:15,064
- I'm a wardrobe stylist.
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Events, print ads,
film premieres.
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- I'm currently working
my way through the entire
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Criterion Collection.
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- I'd love to know
your favourites.
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- Yeah, um...
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Back to, um... So...
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On your own,
this would be tough,
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but as a couple...
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- Oh, we're not a couple.
We're best friends.
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- We live together, though.
I mean, Anna lives with me
123
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since her most recent
very bad divorce.
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- It wasn't that bad.
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Anyway, we thought,
"Why not pool our resources
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and get into the market?"
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- Makes a lot of sense
in this economy.
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- Exactly.
129
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- So can I see yours?
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- Uh-huh...
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(clears throat)
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- This is a...
This is your resume.
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And a bank statement.
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00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:08,417
Okay, and, um...
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"Rosa is kind and warm-hearted,
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and I love it when she reads
to me and rubs my feet."
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What is this?
- Some assessments of my work.
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- No, Rosa,
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I said, "Notice of assessments"
from your taxes.
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- Have you filed your taxes?
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- Um, it's been a few years.
142
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- A few?
- Seven...
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Nine... Ever...
144
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But I am on it now.
145
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I'm ready.
146
00:05:34,744 --> 00:05:37,179
- Hmm, okay, you're ready!
147
00:05:37,246 --> 00:05:38,914
Alright, so...
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You're a...?
- Poet.
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00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:42,752
And a personal support worker.
150
00:05:42,818 --> 00:05:44,887
- Rosa's amazing
with old people.
151
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- Elderly. We don't
say "old" anymore.
152
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- Full-time?
153
00:05:48,924 --> 00:05:50,126
- Sort of.
154
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:52,695
I also, I need time to write.
155
00:05:53,295 --> 00:05:55,998
- Okay, yeah... Uh...
156
00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:59,235
I'm sorry. I don't
think I can make this work.
157
00:05:59,301 --> 00:06:01,771
- What?
- You have no other holdings.
158
00:06:01,837 --> 00:06:03,706
A bare minimum down payment.
159
00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:05,975
How would you cover
closing costs
160
00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:08,511
or taxes and escrow?
161
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,945
Maybe you should just rent.
162
00:06:10,012 --> 00:06:12,314
- But we're hoping
to start a family.
163
00:06:12,381 --> 00:06:14,750
We need security,
we need roots.
164
00:06:14,817 --> 00:06:16,452
- Can you get us a tiny house?
165
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:17,853
- Not the tiny houses again.
166
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,488
- In some places,
five people
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live in a walk-in closet.
168
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,492
This would be just the two of us
in a shipping container.
169
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- Stop it.
- We just need a starter.
170
00:06:25,361 --> 00:06:27,797
You know, to build up
our portfolio.
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- Equity.
172
00:06:29,031 --> 00:06:31,000
- We need a nest.
173
00:06:31,066 --> 00:06:32,968
Please, help us.
174
00:06:34,069 --> 00:06:37,006
- I mean, if you're willing
to go low, like,
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400 square feet...
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- We are.
- We are?
177
00:06:41,477 --> 00:06:43,078
- Well, then get me
your tax returns
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00:06:43,145 --> 00:06:44,680
as soon as possible.
179
00:06:45,381 --> 00:06:46,482
And I'll do my best.
180
00:06:46,549 --> 00:06:48,751
- Thank you.
- You won't regret this.
181
00:06:49,385 --> 00:06:52,054
- Mmm. Mm-hmm. Okay.
182
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:55,958
- Oh.
183
00:06:56,892 --> 00:06:58,994
How do you feel
about being a father?
184
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- Oh, my God.
185
00:07:01,063 --> 00:07:03,599
- I'm pretty good
just being a mortgage broker.
186
00:07:03,666 --> 00:07:05,501
(nervous chuckling)
187
00:07:05,568 --> 00:07:07,470
- Thanks.
188
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,840
- What? He's good with money,
likes movies.
189
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:13,175
Plus, we've had no good matches
on the app, yet.
190
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- It takes time!
We get more interest every day.
191
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See?
- Hello, Baby Daddies.
192
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Did you reply?
Should I reply?
193
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Let me hold it!
- No apps for you!
194
00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:24,720
You spiral.
- Fine.
195
00:07:24,787 --> 00:07:26,455
But don't be too keen. Be cool.
196
00:07:26,522 --> 00:07:27,623
We don't want
to seem desperate.
197
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- Says the woman
who just propositioned
198
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,259
our mortgage broker.
199
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:31,794
- Again, good with money,
200
00:07:31,861 --> 00:07:33,963
likes movies, very athletic.
201
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(♪ Love As A Weapon ♪
by Little Scream)
202
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Subtitling: difuze
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