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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:51,517 - Okay. Are we doing... - Hi. 2 00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:53,252 - How are you? - I'm not comin' out there. 3 00:00:53,352 --> 00:00:56,456 It's only a day and a half of work, and you gonna be making $150. 4 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:59,058 - I look like a damn fool. - I'm gonna come in. 5 00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:01,829 Okay. One, two, thre... 6 00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:03,896 You better stop it. 7 00:01:03,996 --> 00:01:07,166 Eileen, you come in on three. You don't say, "One, two," and come in. 8 00:01:07,266 --> 00:01:08,801 You say, "Three." Then you come in. 9 00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:13,606 Look at you. You are dressed for success. 10 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:15,708 I look like the whole damn red-light district. 11 00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:18,044 I ain't had nothing like this on since I was on that pole. 12 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:22,215 Ooh. Well, just think of this as another pole. The North Pole. 13 00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,016 They don't make it rain at the North Pole. 14 00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:25,918 At my age, I can't get no rain nowhere. 15 00:01:26,018 --> 00:01:28,398 I get a little drizzle, but them quarters hurt. 16 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:33,025 No, no, no. Well, this is beautiful. 17 00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:36,362 Just think of this as a little extra money for you and Cora. 18 00:01:36,462 --> 00:01:38,164 Honey, I don't buy Cora nothing for Christmas. 19 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,066 I ain't bought her nothing since she was seven years old. 20 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,501 - You're kidding. - That's right. 21 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,437 Cora asked me for some money for some dolls named Starz. 22 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:46,372 I couldn't afford it. She just wanted them Starz. 23 00:01:46,472 --> 00:01:48,441 So all day Christmas, she made me feel bad. 24 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,777 That night, Christmas dinner, she's still sitting at the table crying. 25 00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,413 I knocked the hell out of her. You know what happened? 26 00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:56,082 She saw stars. And she never asked me for another gift. 27 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,384 - You are dreadful. Yes, you are. - The truth. 28 00:01:58,484 --> 00:02:01,220 - I can't do this, Eileen. - Yes, you can. Stop. 29 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,789 - Now, just smile. - Okay. I'm smiling. 30 00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,857 Now, you should see... Come over here. 31 00:02:04,957 --> 00:02:06,426 I gotta take you where you working. 32 00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:09,829 You should see the lovely gifts I bought for my daughter. 33 00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:12,265 - How she doing? - Oh, she is excellent. 34 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:14,434 You know she went to New York to get a degree... 35 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:18,271 got her master's and up and moved to Alabama of all places. 36 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,973 - What the hell she move to Alabama for? - Who knows. 37 00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:25,278 Anyway, she took a little job there in some little, small school, you know. 38 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:28,118 She says she wants to start a farm. 39 00:02:29,048 --> 00:02:33,085 - A farm? What she starting a farm for? - I don't know. I don't know. 40 00:02:33,185 --> 00:02:36,622 But anyway, you know she got tons of offers down here in Atlanta. 41 00:02:36,722 --> 00:02:39,358 But she didn't want to, so what can you do? 42 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:42,061 - Maybe she's trying to get away from you. - You better stop that. 43 00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:43,930 - Where we going? - My daughter loves me. 44 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:48,135 Round yon Virgin Mother... 45 00:02:50,269 --> 00:02:52,849 - Was that you singing? - No, ma'am. 46 00:02:53,272 --> 00:02:56,476 There's no one else in there, Bailey McCoy. 47 00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:59,412 Come on. Walk with me. You're late again. 48 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,780 I'm sorry. 49 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,115 - I'm gonna have to talk to your parents. - No. 50 00:03:03,215 --> 00:03:06,719 I just woke up late. I'll be here on time. I promise. 51 00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:08,287 Budget cuts, budget cuts. 52 00:03:08,387 --> 00:03:10,490 All right. Go on in class. 53 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,492 - We'll talk about this later. Okay? - Okay. 54 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,831 And your singing. 55 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,576 I'm not gonna come in here and listen to this. 56 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:25,911 All right, people! 57 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,309 Now, we may have to cancel the Christmas Jubilee this year. 58 00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:32,945 - No way! - We don't have the budget! 59 00:03:33,045 --> 00:03:34,881 Mayor, you hold on right there. 60 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,883 All right? Now, I grew "poinsetters" for this. 61 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,284 Poinsettias. 62 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,088 - That's what I said. - No, you didn't. 63 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,855 If this Christmas Jubilee don't happen... 64 00:03:42,955 --> 00:03:44,757 what am I gonna do with all them "poinsetters"? 65 00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:47,159 - Poinsettias. - Stop. Do I look stupid? 66 00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:49,161 - Tanner, I understand. - No, sir... 67 00:03:49,261 --> 00:03:51,364 with all due respect, I don't think you do. 68 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,166 Since they built that dam upriver, we've been barely surviving. 69 00:03:54,266 --> 00:03:56,469 Between that and the drought... 70 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,504 managed to put most of our crops out of business. 71 00:03:58,604 --> 00:04:00,506 We need this Christmas Jubilee to happen. You hear me? 72 00:04:00,606 --> 00:04:03,543 We don't have the money. I talked to the city council, didn't I? 73 00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,811 You did, Your Honor. He talked to him. I heard him. 74 00:04:05,911 --> 00:04:09,248 - Take it out of the school. - Hold on, Tanner McCoy. 75 00:04:09,348 --> 00:04:11,484 We've already cut the school's budget... 76 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,053 and as principal, I have to draw the line. 77 00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:16,889 We have four teachers teaching several classes. 78 00:04:16,989 --> 00:04:20,092 If we cut back more, we'll not be able to finish the school year. 79 00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:22,962 I don't care. Somebody has to do something. 80 00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:24,931 We have to have this Christmas Jubilee. 81 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:28,668 It helps too many people around here make enough money just to stay open. 82 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,703 We don't have the budget! 83 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:34,544 When we elected you as mayor, you said you would help us! 84 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,377 I know. I'm sorry. 85 00:04:38,477 --> 00:04:42,381 Folks around here don't take too kindly to politicians not keeping their word. 86 00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:46,358 You keep putting all these good people against the wall and see what happens. 87 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,589 Come on, fellas. Geez. 88 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,769 - This is ridiculous. - Absolutely. 89 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:58,642 - You believe that guy? - That was unpleasant. 90 00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:00,666 Yes, it was. 91 00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:02,468 - This is where you'll be working. - Okay. 92 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:04,403 Okay? Have you ever done sales before? 93 00:05:04,503 --> 00:05:08,274 - Yes, I sold trees. - Christmas trees? 94 00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,343 When you smoke 'em, they make you feel like it's Christmas. 95 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,411 If you don't stop that nasty talk. 96 00:05:12,511 --> 00:05:14,580 Stop it. I mean, where goods were exchanged. 97 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,682 I was exchanging my goodies back in the day. 98 00:05:16,782 --> 00:05:18,217 Yes, indeed. 99 00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,397 - I got to bring... - On the black market. 100 00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:25,024 - I got to bring you back to church. - You ain't bringing me to no church. 101 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,460 I ain't goin' to no church. The devil is a lie. 102 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,595 - And you still married to him. - Honey, honey... 103 00:05:29,695 --> 00:05:31,664 - Speak of the devil, listen. Listen. - What, what, what? 104 00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:33,899 - Y'all want me to work the register? - No, no. 105 00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:35,468 - Other people take... - You sure? 106 00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,370 You have to be bonded for that job. 107 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,372 If I took the register, I'd be bonded out. 108 00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,240 Okay. Yeah. No, no, no, no. 109 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:45,144 Listen, let's go over a little quick review of what you're supposed to do. 110 00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:48,047 - You teach me. - You're supposed to direct the customers... 111 00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:50,983 when they ask you for something, and you can refer to this. 112 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:53,252 Okay? Now, kitchenware is on the fifth floor. 113 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,820 - Kitchenware, fifth floor. - Yes. 114 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,822 - Women's apparel is on the second... - Y'all sell pears? 115 00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:58,791 Y'all got produce up there? 116 00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:01,394 - Clothing. Women's clothing. - Say, "Clothing." Don't say, "A pears." 117 00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,229 I don't know what "apparels" is. "A pears." 118 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,531 Okay. Young adults is on the third floor. 119 00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:09,402 - Young adults on the third floor. - Makeup and perfume is here. 120 00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,003 And over there across the hall. 121 00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:13,339 - I get it. I'll be fine. - All right, and listen. 122 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:16,175 Most important, everybody gets the same greeting. 123 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:18,444 When they come in, you look them in the face... 124 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:22,281 you smile pretty and you say, "Merry Christmas. 125 00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:24,650 It's a beautiful day at Tifton's. 126 00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:28,154 Joy to you and yours. Yes, may I help you?" 127 00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,056 That what I say? Fine. I will say that. 128 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,425 - You wanna go over it once? - All right. 129 00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:35,327 - Here's a customer. Okay. - Can you help me? 130 00:06:35,427 --> 00:06:37,063 - Yes. Merry... - Yes. 131 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,731 Mary had a little... 132 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:40,800 - No, Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 133 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,969 - It's a beautiful day at Tip... - Tifton's. 134 00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:46,305 - Tap... Tip... Tiptoes. - Joy to you. 135 00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:49,008 Joy to the world and the Lord is come, and happy Easter. 136 00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,577 What can... What can I do for you at Tifton's? 137 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,757 Thank you. I'm looking for women's lingerie. 138 00:06:54,446 --> 00:06:56,982 Honey? Who the lingerie for? 139 00:06:57,082 --> 00:06:58,820 For me, of course. 140 00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,188 I don't know about you wearing the lingeries. 141 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:05,691 Those days are over, honey. Somebody should've told you it's passed. 142 00:07:05,791 --> 00:07:08,561 The lingeries is for young people with tight, firm stuff. 143 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,030 What I would suggest you do, hunty... 144 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,899 I would suggest you walk across the street to Target... 145 00:07:13,999 --> 00:07:18,637 and ask them for some of those really nice big, big-girl drawers... 146 00:07:18,737 --> 00:07:20,639 so that you will be comfortable. 147 00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:22,675 You don't wanna walk around with a slingshot up your butt. 148 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,276 - Eileen! - Come, come, come. 149 00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:25,845 Come. Let me help you. 150 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,747 - You are so rude! - She's something. 151 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:31,884 No, you are the one that's rude anytime you bring lingerie to a man. 152 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,987 Who was the 37th president of the United States? 153 00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:36,666 I know. 154 00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,038 Bailey, do you know? 155 00:07:44,663 --> 00:07:46,132 I know the answer. 156 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:49,301 I didn't ask you. I asked Bailey. 157 00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:52,671 He don't know. He's always dirty. 158 00:07:52,771 --> 00:07:55,207 And he's just a farm boy. 159 00:07:55,307 --> 00:08:00,646 Yes, but he's the only one to get an A on all three of his last tests. 160 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,048 What did you get, Lucy? 161 00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:04,650 Or you, Larry? 162 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,160 There will be no bullying in this class. 163 00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:11,157 I'll see you all tomorrow. Do your homework. 164 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,759 Look over the list of songs for the Christmas Jubilee. 165 00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:16,762 Christmas is five days away. 166 00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:18,908 Hold on a second, Bailey. 167 00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:28,174 You gotta start speaking up and participating in class. 168 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,009 I know you knew the answer. 169 00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:32,411 You're are so smart and talented. 170 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:36,615 You get an A on every test. You gotta believe in yourself. 171 00:08:36,715 --> 00:08:40,285 Lucy's right. I'm just an old farm boy. 172 00:08:41,553 --> 00:08:44,056 There is no such thing as "just a farm boy." 173 00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:47,465 You are smart. You can be anything you want. 174 00:08:48,894 --> 00:08:52,131 I can only imagine if you could just stay awake in class. 175 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:54,867 - Are you up late at night? - No, ma'am. 176 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:58,605 I want you to sing the lead solo at the Christmas Jubilee. 177 00:08:59,571 --> 00:09:01,473 I'm sorry. I can't do that. 178 00:09:01,573 --> 00:09:03,983 - Yes, you can. - No. 179 00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,051 You know what? I really gotta go, Miss Williams. 180 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,991 My daddy's gonna be waiting for me at home. 181 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,490 Go on. 182 00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:26,732 Hello? 183 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,834 I don't hear from you in six years... 184 00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:32,204 and you call me out of the blue because you need my help. 185 00:09:32,304 --> 00:09:33,873 Don't blame that on me. 186 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,809 You're the one who married Kelly and stopped returning my calls. 187 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,577 You're not still bitter, are you? 188 00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:41,189 Maybe. How is she? 189 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,955 I don't know. We're divorced. 190 00:09:46,051 --> 00:09:47,786 Good. She was such a tramp. 191 00:09:47,886 --> 00:09:51,423 I can't believe you married her and dumped me. That's what you get. 192 00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:53,592 Okay, okay. 193 00:09:53,692 --> 00:09:56,528 Hey, pull up, It was high school. Am I forgiven? 194 00:09:56,628 --> 00:10:00,165 That depends. Can you help me with my school situation? 195 00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:03,102 - So you need sponsorship? - Yes. 196 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:05,170 A call came in just as I was leaving a meeting.. 197 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:08,007 With a company that's in the middle of a PR nightmare. 198 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:10,342 They could use some goodwill right now. 199 00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:14,179 Actually, in a town like yours. So your timing may be perfect. 200 00:10:14,279 --> 00:10:15,915 Tell me about it. 201 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:18,851 Can't do that until we have a contract. 202 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,621 - You don't trust me? - No, no, no, it's not that. 203 00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:24,926 I have to protect my interests, that's all. 204 00:10:26,358 --> 00:10:27,660 Tell you what. 205 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,995 I'll come down with a contract, you get your people to sign... 206 00:10:30,095 --> 00:10:31,764 and I'm sure I can pull in... 207 00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:34,808 at least a hundred grand for your school and its event. 208 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:38,304 $100,000. That would be great. 209 00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,306 How soon can you get here? 210 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,174 You need the money right away, don't you? 211 00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:44,977 Yeah. So you're willing to drive down to Alabama? 212 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:47,513 I will drive over tomorrow. 213 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,015 We'll get the contract signed, then I'll have to leave... 214 00:10:50,115 --> 00:10:52,952 but I'll be back for the event. 215 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:55,132 That would be fantastic. 216 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,457 Oliver, thank you so much. 217 00:10:58,557 --> 00:10:59,692 See you soon. 218 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:00,893 - You got it. - Bye. 219 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,266 Child, that Powerball is going up. 220 00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:09,568 Hello? Hey, I need y'all to go get me some scratch-offs. 221 00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:11,570 - Yeah, and play the numbers for me. - Can you help me? 222 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,172 That Powerball has gotten really high. 223 00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:14,573 Play number 22... 224 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,642 - Excuse me. - 17,5 and 6. 225 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,545 Go play them numbers, and bring me a bunch of scratch offs. Yeah. 226 00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,114 Just two, three of 'em. Don't spend a lot of money. 227 00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:23,449 I need some help! 228 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,351 Hold on, 'cause somebody's screaming at me. 229 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,531 I'm getting ready to choke her. Hold on. 230 00:11:29,888 --> 00:11:32,558 Lady, you gonna need a damn doctor if you holler at me again. 231 00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:35,427 Do you understand? Now, what can I help you with? 232 00:11:35,527 --> 00:11:37,429 - I need a watch for my husband. - A men's watch. 233 00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:40,666 A men's watch. You know, I like it with a leather band. 234 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,168 - You know, a nice thin watch. - Here are some men's... 235 00:11:43,268 --> 00:11:45,371 Oh, hell. It's time for my break. 236 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,306 - Time for my break. - Break? 237 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:48,874 No, wait. 238 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,442 - You're so rude. - Bye, bye, bye. 239 00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:53,278 - You rude as hell. You rude as hell. - Please. I need a watch. 240 00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:55,748 Get out of my way. I'm trying to go to the break room. 241 00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:56,926 Wait! Come back! 242 00:12:01,286 --> 00:12:02,865 You still here? 243 00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:05,424 He called me back. 244 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:07,604 Yeah? And? 245 00:12:08,527 --> 00:12:13,232 He thinks he can get us $100,000 in sponsorship money. 246 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,167 $100,000? 247 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,503 - Oh, my goodness, that would be so great. - I know. 248 00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,838 That would not only pay for the Jubilee... 249 00:12:19,938 --> 00:12:22,641 that would take us well into next year's school year. 250 00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:25,077 We could get new books, maybe even a new computer. 251 00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:27,980 Wait, calm down. It hasn't happened yet. It's not done. 252 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,749 Okay, but I have faith that it is. 253 00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:35,220 Lacey, thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it. 254 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,724 I know this school is not the best, but it is all we got. 255 00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:41,260 And I know you could have gone anywhere in the country... 256 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,429 with the credentials you have. 257 00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,905 - I love it here. - Thank you. 258 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,368 He's coming down tomorrow with the contract. 259 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,337 This is so wonderful! I gotta call the mayor. 260 00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:54,473 - Yes. - He's gonna be so excited. 261 00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,675 This is going to be a wonderful Christmas after all! 262 00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,354 It's gonna be fantastic. 263 00:13:00,612 --> 00:13:02,350 All right. I'll see you tomorrow. 264 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,043 - Hello? - I must be dialing the wrong number. 265 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,113 You said that already, but you called back five times. 266 00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:35,948 So what number you trying to get? 267 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,383 I'm trying to reach my daughter, Lacey. 268 00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:40,786 Oh, yeah. Yeah, she just walked in. Hold on. 269 00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,966 - Who is that? - Your mama. 270 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,662 - Hi, Mama. - Who was that? 271 00:13:50,762 --> 00:13:52,264 That was Conner. 272 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:53,943 Conner? 273 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,336 That's the guy you hired to help you with the farm? 274 00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,138 Yeah, that's him. 275 00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:01,974 Okay. I don't know if I like him up there with you. 276 00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:03,542 Suppose he gets fresh... 277 00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,944 and you don't have no man up there to protect you. 278 00:14:06,044 --> 00:14:08,147 Mama, I'm fine. What's going on? 279 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:10,682 I can't wait until you taste the dinner... 280 00:14:10,782 --> 00:14:12,985 I have prepared for you for Christmas. 281 00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,587 Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. 282 00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:18,097 I'm not gonna be able to come home this year. 283 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:20,058 What? 284 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:22,161 Uh-uh. It's Christmas. 285 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:25,030 I know, it's just I'm just getting settled in... 286 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,199 and the farm needs a lot of work. 287 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:29,701 Uh-uh. You not no farmer in the dell now. 288 00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,270 It's not just the farm. 289 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,572 They've also decided to extended the school year... 290 00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:35,140 to the day before Christmas. 291 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,010 - What kind of school is that? - We lost a lot of days... 292 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,146 because of the storms this summer, so we have to make them up, 293 00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:43,515 And I'm helping the kids prepare songs for the Christmas Jubilee. 294 00:14:43,615 --> 00:14:47,486 And we have a budget crisis. So it's just too busy right now, Mom. 295 00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:48,487 I'll come up there. 296 00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:49,988 - No. - Yes. 297 00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:52,057 - I haven't seen you in nine months... - It's not the right time. 298 00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:54,059 And you don't drive. 299 00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:56,662 I can get somebody to drive up there with me. 300 00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:59,031 I can ask your Aunt Madea to come with me. 301 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:02,301 Mama, can we just skip it this year? It's only Christmas. 302 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,869 You bite your tongue, 303 00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:06,238 Christmas is the time of year... 304 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:10,682 when we celebrate the birth of Jesus with our families and... 305 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:15,013 Lacey, I don't have to tell you that... 306 00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:17,816 you and I are the only family we have, 307 00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:19,996 I know. Mom, are you crying? 308 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,956 What was that, Conner? 309 00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,158 I didn't say anything. 310 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,894 I'm sorry. Conner needs my help, Mama. I gotta go. 311 00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:31,165 I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you Bye, 312 00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:38,303 Do not look at me like that. You don't understand. 313 00:15:38,403 --> 00:15:40,278 I didn't say a word. 314 00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:47,679 Are you okay? 315 00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:51,817 Girl, I don't know why I let you talk me into comin' and doin' this job. 316 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,853 - I didn't take my medicine this morning. - What medicine? 317 00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:57,158 Five milligrams of "Don't choke that ho." 318 00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:00,092 These customers gettin' right... 319 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,227 I feel I'm getting ready to maybe catch a case. 320 00:16:02,327 --> 00:16:04,873 - I could spit. - What's wrong with you? 321 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,638 Lacey's not coming for Christmas. 322 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,002 That ain't no problem. Children grow up. 323 00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,970 They don't wanna come home sometimes. 324 00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:13,649 Something's wrong. 325 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:15,874 - Eileen? - What? 326 00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:19,078 I know that look in your eye. Don't go jumpin' to no conclusion. 327 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,913 I don't jump to conclusions. 328 00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:24,916 Last time you went to the doctor, you had a rash. 329 00:16:25,016 --> 00:16:28,220 Walked up in there, told the man you had cancer and you was dying. 330 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:33,058 Madea, many people in my family have died of cancer. 331 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,093 - I know your family. - Yes. 332 00:16:35,193 --> 00:16:37,562 - My grandmother. - Got hit by a bus. 333 00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:41,667 But she had cancer. My uncle Bayrod. 334 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,403 - Drowned. - Because he had cancer. 335 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,204 - Eileen? - What? 336 00:16:46,304 --> 00:16:48,507 No, no, no, no. Something is wrong. 337 00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:51,243 Something is wrong with my child, and I'm gonna find out what it is. 338 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,179 She's down there in the country, and I don't know what's going on. 339 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,782 I haven't seen where she works, where she live. 340 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:59,351 - It's just awful! - Your daughter is grown. 341 00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:02,354 Leave her alone. If she want to come home, she will come home. 342 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:04,033 What you planning on doing? 343 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,091 I'm gonna go down there. 344 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,593 I'd like to see that, 'cause you don't drive. 345 00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:11,663 - You do. - Child, I ain't goin' to no Alabama. 346 00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:15,334 Last time I was in Alabama, I was chained to Andy Young and Jesse Jackson. 347 00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:18,674 - You marched? - We wasn't upright when we was marching. 348 00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:23,408 - We gonna go down there. - I'm not driving to no Alabama. 349 00:17:23,508 --> 00:17:26,411 All my stuff is illegal. I don't like driving through Georgia. 350 00:17:26,511 --> 00:17:28,714 You think I'm gettin' ready to drive through Alabama? 351 00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,782 - I'll pay you. - What time you wanna leave? 352 00:17:30,882 --> 00:17:32,884 Okay. Good. 353 00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:34,953 No, child. I can't get on the road with my Cadillac. 354 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:39,191 It's got 4,785,000 miles on it, and I just changed the oil in it. 355 00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:41,259 Every light on the dashboard say... 356 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:43,666 "You crazy as hell if you go anywhere in me." 357 00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:48,400 - Madea... - I can't do it, hon. I'm sorry. 358 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,581 Have you ever thought maybe she just don't want to see you, Eileen? 359 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,406 My daughter loves me. 360 00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:57,409 She loves spending time with me. 361 00:17:57,509 --> 00:18:00,812 All right, honey. If you find a ride, I'll go up there with you. 362 00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:03,424 All right. Well, I will work on it. 363 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,405 Conner. 364 00:18:18,296 --> 00:18:21,032 - What the hell you think you're doin'? - What are you talking about? 365 00:18:21,132 --> 00:18:22,934 I was down at the feed store. 366 00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:25,070 They tell me you're planning on planting corn this year. 367 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,705 Yeah, I was. 368 00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,940 I plant corn. 369 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,710 Well, actually, what I'm working on can help all of us. 370 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,879 - What you're working on? - Yeah. 371 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:37,416 You think you learned something down in that college that I don't know about? 372 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:40,256 - That's not what I meant, Tanner. - No, you don't. 373 00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:43,789 And you better find something else to plant. 374 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,558 You been gone from around here for far too long. 375 00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:48,226 I mean it, Conner. 376 00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:52,067 Otherwise, I'll be here every day, kick your ass like I did back in school. 377 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,975 Eileen, we've had a lot of complaints about your friend. 378 00:19:04,075 --> 00:19:05,544 Oh, no. 379 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,679 Hey there. I was getting ready to go... 380 00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:10,649 - What's the matter? - We're going to have to ask you to leave. 381 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:14,553 Good, it's about damn time. I get out of... Give me my check. 382 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,061 We'll mail it to you. 383 00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:19,424 No, honey. Eileen, you better tell her. 384 00:19:19,524 --> 00:19:22,360 Ain't nobody gonna mail me no check. I didn't mail my work up in here. 385 00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:24,729 You ain't mailing me no check. Where's my money? 386 00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:27,499 Madea, go home. I'll call you later. 387 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,968 I don't give a damn who calling who. Somebody gonna give me my money. 388 00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,170 Would you please leave quietly? 389 00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:34,372 Oh, sure. You want me to leave quietly? 390 00:19:34,472 --> 00:19:36,208 You want me to leave quietly? 391 00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:38,477 I will show you how to leave damn quietly. 392 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,445 Y'all gonna give me my damn money. 393 00:19:40,545 --> 00:19:44,449 But before I get my damn purse, I'm gonna get money out this register. 394 00:19:44,549 --> 00:19:46,251 - Excuse me. - No, no. 395 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,154 No, you can't do that. Put... Madea. 396 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,156 Where my purse? Unlock the damn thing! 397 00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:54,092 I got my purse here. This is $150. 398 00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:56,895 - This is what you owe me. - Put that money back. 399 00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,964 I'm gonna take something else. I'm gonna take this dress. 400 00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,032 - Stop it! - Take whatever I want out of here. 401 00:20:01,132 --> 00:20:03,134 What's this pulling on me? 402 00:20:03,234 --> 00:20:04,870 You're embarrassing us. 403 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,873 What the hell y'all looking at? What the hell all y'all looking at? 404 00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:11,243 It's Christmas, and I'm takin' what the hell I want up in here! 405 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,779 What y'all gonna do about it? What y'all gonna do about it? 406 00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:17,415 - I'll take this too. - She didn't take her medication today. 407 00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:20,385 You got me coming up here, trying to work in this place... 408 00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:22,187 and I don't know what the hell gonna... 409 00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,356 Get out the way! What the hell goin' on? 410 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:27,759 - I know what the hell I'm doing! - She has never acted like this before. 411 00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:29,895 I'm fabulous. I'm gone with the wind fabulous. 412 00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,733 I am so sorry. 413 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:54,019 Hi. I'm Lacey Williams, Bailey's teacher. 414 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,961 - Right. Come on in. - Thank you. 415 00:21:00,925 --> 00:21:02,727 - How are you? - I'm fine. 416 00:21:02,827 --> 00:21:05,063 I just stopped by to talk to you. 417 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:08,233 I graded another one of Bailey's homework assignments... 418 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,634 Listen, I'm sorry. 419 00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:12,971 He has to help his daddy at night, so he doesn't get much time to study. 420 00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:16,241 Then he gets up early in the morning to work with him... 421 00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:19,320 so I'll just have to get on him to do better. 422 00:21:20,378 --> 00:21:22,219 He can't get any better. 423 00:21:22,714 --> 00:21:25,250 - He gets straight A's. - What? 424 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:28,920 Yeah. And to know he works after school and in the morning... 425 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,855 is even more impressive. 426 00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:34,662 He really should go to a gifted school with a fine arts department. 427 00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:37,702 Wow. 428 00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:42,801 I always knew he was smart. I didn't know he was that smart. 429 00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:46,371 Me and his daddy never got much schoolin'. 430 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:49,908 You really think Bailey could make it outside of this place? 431 00:21:50,008 --> 00:21:51,781 I know he can. 432 00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:55,046 I mean, that's really all I want for him. 433 00:21:55,146 --> 00:21:57,949 Bailey is always telling me how good you are to him... 434 00:21:58,049 --> 00:22:01,620 and that you defend him in front of those other kids, so thank you. 435 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,156 - Well, he's a very special boy. - Yeah, he is. 436 00:22:05,256 --> 00:22:07,058 - Have a seat. - Sure. Thank you. 437 00:22:07,158 --> 00:22:09,670 - Can I get you something to drink? - Yes. 438 00:22:10,261 --> 00:22:11,840 Thanks. 439 00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:17,279 Thank you. 440 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:22,907 He also told me you want him to sing at the Christmas Jubilee? 441 00:22:23,007 --> 00:22:25,343 Yes. He has a beautiful voice. 442 00:22:25,443 --> 00:22:28,079 You think the Jubilee is gonna happen this year? 443 00:22:28,179 --> 00:22:29,648 Yes, haven't you heard? 444 00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:32,317 I got a friend of mine to get us a sponsorship for it. 445 00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:34,319 So it's definitely gonna happen. 446 00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:37,193 - That's great news. - Yeah, it really is. 447 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,429 Oh, hell. What do you want? 448 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:47,667 - Hi, I'm Lacey Williams. - I know who you are. 449 00:22:48,266 --> 00:22:51,036 You're Bailey's teacher. Bailey's gonna be late to school. 450 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:54,308 He's got a lot of work to do here, that's if he makes it at all. 451 00:22:54,973 --> 00:22:57,451 No need come around here no more. Okay? 452 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:00,617 I am so sorry. 453 00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:04,827 Merry Christmas. 454 00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:11,923 Oliver, this is so funny. 455 00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:15,360 I hadn't spoken to your mother in a while, and we got talking... 456 00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,563 and she said you were drivin' to Alabama to see Lacey! 457 00:23:18,663 --> 00:23:20,899 Miss Eileen, I'm happy to have the company. 458 00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:24,335 Did I tell you I take blood pressure medicine that makes me have to pee? 459 00:23:24,435 --> 00:23:27,572 - I'll have to go to the bathroom soon. - Okay, go in the bush. 460 00:23:27,672 --> 00:23:30,844 I'm not putting my tush over no bush. I don't know what's wrong with you. 461 00:23:33,244 --> 00:23:35,449 The leaves fell off of it, but it work! 462 00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:37,849 - Jesus. Baby... - It the wintertime. 463 00:23:37,949 --> 00:23:40,051 Just keep your eyes ahead. 464 00:23:40,151 --> 00:23:43,221 Okay? No, no, no. She's always like this, since a child. 465 00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:44,789 - Yeah, since my childhood. - Something's wrong. 466 00:23:44,889 --> 00:23:46,357 Something's wrong, but we accept it. 467 00:23:46,457 --> 00:23:48,426 You sure you didn't tell her we were coming? 468 00:23:48,526 --> 00:23:50,562 I wanted this to be a big surprise! 469 00:23:50,662 --> 00:23:52,241 I'm sure. 470 00:23:52,664 --> 00:23:56,367 'Cause she's gonna be so happy to see you! 471 00:23:56,467 --> 00:24:00,572 Madea, I told him how much Lacey talks about him. 472 00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:03,908 Why you hollerin' like I'm in the back of an airplane and you in first class? 473 00:24:04,008 --> 00:24:06,511 I can hear you. You right here. 474 00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:08,480 All I'm saying is this... 475 00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,482 - What's your name, boy? Olive Oil? - Oliver. 476 00:24:10,582 --> 00:24:12,050 All I'm saying is this. 477 00:24:12,150 --> 00:24:15,253 If she wanted to talk to you, she would have called you all the time. 478 00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:16,955 Don't get your hopes up listening to Eileen. 479 00:24:17,055 --> 00:24:20,258 Don't listen to her. You two are gonna be together again. 480 00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:22,660 You'd like that, wouldn't you? I see it on your face. 481 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,395 I see it on your face. Yeah! 482 00:24:24,495 --> 00:24:26,397 I would like to see us have another chance. 483 00:24:26,497 --> 00:24:29,100 Y'all was in high school back then. I got to pee, son. 484 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,603 You been driving around in circles for way too long. 485 00:24:31,703 --> 00:24:34,739 Go on over there. Pull over there, ask these people directions. 486 00:24:34,839 --> 00:24:37,108 I'm gonna go in here and use the bathroom. 487 00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:39,010 No, Madea. This place don't look right. 488 00:24:39,110 --> 00:24:41,346 Eileen, here. This a... Child, please. 489 00:24:41,446 --> 00:24:44,015 I grew up in the country. Ain't nobody in here. 490 00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:46,195 He what sittin' there willy-whilin'. Ask him. 491 00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:49,487 Lord, this thing is high. You gotta get me a step. 492 00:24:49,587 --> 00:24:51,723 'Scuse me, sir. You look like a nice man. 493 00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:53,992 How you doin'? We are lost. He trying to find direction. 494 00:24:54,092 --> 00:24:56,127 I need a bathroom. Is there a bathroom here somewhere? 495 00:24:56,227 --> 00:24:58,429 Yes, ma'am. Right over yonder. 496 00:24:58,529 --> 00:25:01,473 Get the directions here. I got me to pee. 497 00:25:05,436 --> 00:25:07,038 Got to pee. Hell... 498 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:10,512 What the... 499 00:25:20,251 --> 00:25:22,887 Go! Drive! Drive, Olive Oil, drive! 500 00:25:22,987 --> 00:25:25,356 Put the pedal to the metal. Get the hell outta here! 501 00:25:25,456 --> 00:25:27,926 - They're tryin' to get me! - What did you do? 502 00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:30,436 Drive! Hell, they're KKK! 503 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:41,206 - This ain't the right address, is it? - That's what she said. 504 00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:45,543 This can't be the right address. These people might not be friendly. 505 00:25:45,643 --> 00:25:50,248 Look, this is 2013, and it's almost Christmas. 506 00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:51,983 Sure it'll be fine. 507 00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:54,519 Boy, did you see what I just went through in town? 508 00:25:54,619 --> 00:25:56,087 True. 509 00:25:56,187 --> 00:25:58,489 This just don't feel right. 510 00:25:58,589 --> 00:26:02,393 Up here in these woods, ain't nobody around but us and trees. 511 00:26:02,493 --> 00:26:04,573 I don't like this. Go knock on the door. 512 00:26:06,164 --> 00:26:08,867 - Thanks a lot. - What you worried about, son? 513 00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:10,935 Somebody got to live to tell the story. 514 00:26:11,035 --> 00:26:13,471 Tell 'em what happened to you. Somebody got be an activist. 515 00:26:13,571 --> 00:26:15,573 Somebody got to call Sharpton. 516 00:26:15,673 --> 00:26:17,081 Never mind. 517 00:26:22,113 --> 00:26:25,250 - Uh-oh. Who is that? - I told you this was the wrong address. 518 00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:27,123 We gotta go. Back up. 519 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,155 There she is! Pull up. 520 00:26:31,255 --> 00:26:32,790 We're at the right place. 521 00:26:32,890 --> 00:26:34,799 - Come on. Hurry up. - There she is. 522 00:26:36,728 --> 00:26:39,536 - Lacey! - Look at you. 523 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,644 Oh, my word. What are you doing here? 524 00:26:47,271 --> 00:26:50,942 I hitched a ride with Oliver. Surprise! 525 00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:52,510 Surprise! 526 00:26:52,610 --> 00:26:54,879 - We came. - Surprise. 527 00:26:54,979 --> 00:26:56,558 Who are you? 528 00:26:57,982 --> 00:26:59,951 I'm Conner. 529 00:27:00,051 --> 00:27:02,392 Girl, what the coroner doing here? Who done died? 530 00:27:05,289 --> 00:27:09,633 You are the farmhand that she hired. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 531 00:27:10,695 --> 00:27:12,297 I am Eileen, her mother. 532 00:27:12,397 --> 00:27:16,707 And this is Madea, her great-aunt on my daddy's side. 533 00:27:18,469 --> 00:27:20,371 She sure don't look happy to see us. 534 00:27:20,471 --> 00:27:22,573 You better bite your tongue. 535 00:27:22,673 --> 00:27:25,686 She is happy to see me anytime. Tell her. 536 00:27:28,679 --> 00:27:32,750 That don't look like happiness, honey. That look like puredee constipation. 537 00:27:33,351 --> 00:27:34,819 Hi, Conner. 538 00:27:34,919 --> 00:27:36,287 How are ya? How ya doing? 539 00:27:36,387 --> 00:27:38,289 This handsome thing... 540 00:27:38,389 --> 00:27:41,059 this is Oliver, her boyfriend. 541 00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:42,894 Her boyfriend? 542 00:27:42,994 --> 00:27:45,131 Ex-boyfriend. 543 00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:48,766 It was nice of you to call him. 544 00:27:48,866 --> 00:27:51,469 That was a nice ruse to get to see him. Fund-raiser. 545 00:27:51,569 --> 00:27:53,538 No, it wasn't a ruse. 546 00:27:53,638 --> 00:27:55,440 You know you miss him. 547 00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:58,409 Anyway, could you get my bags, farmhand, please? 548 00:27:58,509 --> 00:28:00,646 - Yeah. - I'll help. 549 00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:04,415 Lacey, come show us this farm. 550 00:28:04,515 --> 00:28:06,617 A little dusty, dusty. 551 00:28:06,717 --> 00:28:09,821 Come, my dear. I knew that. 552 00:28:09,921 --> 00:28:12,523 Baby, you know you got asthma. 553 00:28:12,623 --> 00:28:14,525 Mama, I don't have asthma anymore. 554 00:28:14,625 --> 00:28:16,828 Yeah, but you still gotta be careful... 555 00:28:16,928 --> 00:28:19,564 because that could lead to cancer. 556 00:28:19,664 --> 00:28:22,133 Everything don't lead to cancer, Eileen. Lord, help her. 557 00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:24,635 I'm gonna open the door. Y'all need fresh air up in here. 558 00:28:24,735 --> 00:28:27,171 Got all these animals. This is a nice room. I'll stay in here. 559 00:28:27,271 --> 00:28:28,639 - Good, good, good. - Sure. 560 00:28:28,739 --> 00:28:31,175 Lacey, you do not have a Christmas tree? 561 00:28:31,275 --> 00:28:32,744 - No, I don't. - Oh, my God. 562 00:28:32,844 --> 00:28:35,847 - That's why you wanted me to come here. - Yeah, that's exactly why. 563 00:28:35,947 --> 00:28:37,582 - I'm gonna take this room. - Okay. 564 00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:39,017 - Okay? - That's nice too. 565 00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:40,718 - That's a nice room. - Thank you. 566 00:28:40,818 --> 00:28:43,721 - Is this one yours, Madea? - Yeah, put it in the room on the end. 567 00:28:43,821 --> 00:28:45,423 - I'm staying down there. - All right. 568 00:28:45,523 --> 00:28:47,258 - All right. - Is this your room here? 569 00:28:47,358 --> 00:28:49,627 - It's my room. - It's lovely. 570 00:28:49,727 --> 00:28:51,396 Thank you. It's not clean. 571 00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:53,598 - Okay, now where's the kitchen? - Let's go that way. 572 00:28:53,698 --> 00:28:55,333 - It's in there. Go ahead. - I'm comin'. 573 00:28:55,433 --> 00:28:57,301 Don't be pushing on me. 574 00:28:57,401 --> 00:28:59,737 We saw this. This is the dining room. It's yellow. 575 00:28:59,837 --> 00:29:02,473 It's yellow. It's bright yellow! 576 00:29:02,573 --> 00:29:04,142 It's nice, Mama, huh? 577 00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:06,677 Yeah, it's not my cup of tea, but you know. 578 00:29:06,777 --> 00:29:09,080 - Back porch and everything. - Aunt Madea, you like it? 579 00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:11,983 - Yeah, look at all the animals. - It's very nice. Yes. 580 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,052 Ask the man to bring the groceries in. 581 00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:16,721 - They're in the trunk of the car. - His name is Conner. 582 00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:20,591 I don't like you being up here with him by yourself. 583 00:29:20,691 --> 00:29:23,094 What is Oliver supposed to think, you living with a man? 584 00:29:23,194 --> 00:29:25,263 Why should I care what Oliver thinks? 585 00:29:25,363 --> 00:29:27,765 - You should. He still wants you. - Mama, please. 586 00:29:27,865 --> 00:29:29,534 No, and you still want him. 587 00:29:29,634 --> 00:29:31,869 I know it. I got that feeling. 588 00:29:31,969 --> 00:29:34,439 I want some grandbabies. What you waiting on? 589 00:29:34,539 --> 00:29:36,941 Eileen, stop meddling with that girl. 590 00:29:37,041 --> 00:29:40,452 Okay? You is in everybody's business. Just leave this child alone. 591 00:29:41,012 --> 00:29:43,181 You have been talking since we got in the car. 592 00:29:43,281 --> 00:29:46,517 You talk too much, Eileen. Please, just shut up for a little while here. 593 00:29:46,617 --> 00:29:48,352 Leave this child alone. She living her life. 594 00:29:48,452 --> 00:29:51,328 She happy out here in the farm playing Old MacDonald. 595 00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:03,768 - Any more? - Just the groceries. 596 00:30:03,868 --> 00:30:05,336 All right. 597 00:30:05,436 --> 00:30:07,516 - Hi. - Wow. 598 00:30:08,439 --> 00:30:11,019 - It's great to see you, Lacey. - Yeah, you too. 599 00:30:11,742 --> 00:30:14,245 Let me put these down, and I'll be ready to go to school. 600 00:30:14,345 --> 00:30:15,753 - Yeah. - All right? 601 00:30:20,585 --> 00:30:23,221 So, you didn't tell me your boyfriend was coming. 602 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:25,590 High school. Non-factor, trust me. 603 00:30:25,690 --> 00:30:27,792 My mother... I can't believe she just showed up. 604 00:30:27,892 --> 00:30:29,927 And your parents are on their way. 605 00:30:30,027 --> 00:30:33,498 Yep. Gonna be here right after you get back from school. 606 00:30:33,598 --> 00:30:35,800 I know. What are we gonna do? 607 00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:37,638 You better think of something. 608 00:30:38,803 --> 00:30:41,543 - Baby... - Boyfriend. 609 00:30:43,307 --> 00:30:45,743 - Are you ready to go? - Yes, sure. 610 00:30:45,843 --> 00:30:49,614 Hold on. Hold on. I heard somebody say, "Go." Oh, Lord. 611 00:30:49,714 --> 00:30:51,883 Take me anywhere. I got to get away from your mama. 612 00:30:51,983 --> 00:30:54,285 I'll go to hell and back to get away from her. 613 00:30:54,385 --> 00:30:56,287 She talk too damn much. Can I go with y'all? 614 00:30:56,387 --> 00:31:00,291 Okay. Maybe you can keep an eye on my class while I go into the meeting. 615 00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:02,760 I'm sorry. Watch your class? 616 00:31:02,860 --> 00:31:05,062 She wants me to watch her class. Children? 617 00:31:05,162 --> 00:31:06,797 Child, me and children don't get along. 618 00:31:06,897 --> 00:31:08,399 Now, let me see. 619 00:31:08,499 --> 00:31:09,800 Ankle-biting... 620 00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:11,536 disease-carrying... 621 00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:15,616 little children of God, or your mama... 622 00:31:17,008 --> 00:31:19,710 satanic, loud-mouthed, diarrhea woman from hell. 623 00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:22,049 I think I'll go with the children. Praise God. 624 00:31:23,114 --> 00:31:25,650 - All right. - I'll drop you back off on my way home. 625 00:31:25,750 --> 00:31:27,718 Okay, close your trunk, son. Close your trunk. 626 00:31:27,818 --> 00:31:29,487 I'm gonna ride with him. 627 00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:32,857 No offense to y'all car, 'cause this a nice car. 628 00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:35,159 But this bring back memories, child. 629 00:31:35,259 --> 00:31:38,196 I got pregnant. Meat Loaf was playing "Dashboard Light." 630 00:31:38,296 --> 00:31:41,365 I was sitting up there, and I kept hitting my head on that steering wheel. 631 00:31:41,465 --> 00:31:43,801 It was just awful. It was an awful time. 632 00:31:43,901 --> 00:31:46,270 Look. The door even sound the same. 633 00:31:46,370 --> 00:31:49,774 Child, this is just what it's... Yep, that bring back memories. 634 00:31:49,874 --> 00:31:51,576 Watch this. 635 00:31:51,676 --> 00:31:53,811 That's what I used to do. Drop it. 636 00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:57,548 That car built for comfort and built for speed, just like me. 637 00:31:57,648 --> 00:31:59,984 This a nice truck, but how I'm s'posed to get in here? 638 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:02,453 - Pull the seat back. - I'll sit in the back. Hold on. 639 00:32:02,553 --> 00:32:04,989 No, you don't have to... Yeah, just pull that back. 640 00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:07,992 You got to get some of them things to help me get in here. 641 00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:10,761 Is there something to... Hold on. I got it. 642 00:32:10,861 --> 00:32:12,730 Yeah, that's it. Come on in. 643 00:32:12,830 --> 00:32:14,932 Boy, you got to get a low car here. 644 00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:19,503 - You 'bout to make me mad. - Give me your hand. 645 00:32:19,603 --> 00:32:23,082 - Now, hold on. - All right, I got you. 646 00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:27,345 - Good morning, class. - Good morning. 647 00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:31,115 This is my Aunt Mabel. But everybody calls her Madea. 648 00:32:31,215 --> 00:32:34,018 I have to go to a meeting down the hall with Ms. Porter... 649 00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:37,255 and I asked Miss Madea to keep an eye on you. 650 00:32:37,355 --> 00:32:40,558 Now, you know what to do and you know how to behave, right? 651 00:32:40,658 --> 00:32:42,193 Yes, ma'am. 652 00:32:42,293 --> 00:32:44,662 - I'll be right back. Thanks, Madea. - Yeah, I love it. 653 00:32:44,762 --> 00:32:47,298 I love well-behaved children. That's wonderful. 654 00:32:47,398 --> 00:32:49,136 Y'all look so nice. 655 00:32:55,005 --> 00:32:58,409 Hello. Hello. Now, y'all got to go back to the Stepford children. 656 00:32:58,509 --> 00:33:02,079 Don't act like you... Don't act like this. Now, calm the hell down. 657 00:33:02,179 --> 00:33:05,816 I'm in here. Do yourself a favor. Do the right thing. 658 00:33:05,916 --> 00:33:08,419 - You belong in this class? - Yes, ma'am. 659 00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:11,055 - Okay. What's your name? - Bailey. 660 00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:12,723 Bailey? Okay. Well, go on. 661 00:33:12,823 --> 00:33:15,893 Your teacher went down the hall, and I'm sitting in for her. Have a seat. 662 00:33:15,993 --> 00:33:17,795 You better hope she comes back. 663 00:33:17,895 --> 00:33:20,999 She's the only teacher that likes you here. 664 00:33:24,235 --> 00:33:27,271 Don't sit by me. You are so dirty. 665 00:33:27,371 --> 00:33:29,640 Leave that boy alone. Where else he gonna sit? Sit down, son. 666 00:33:29,740 --> 00:33:31,275 Sit down. Don't worry about her. 667 00:33:31,375 --> 00:33:34,779 Don't you ever pick on somebody just 'cause you can. Do you understand? 668 00:33:34,879 --> 00:33:36,847 They used to do that to me when I was in kindergarten. 669 00:33:36,947 --> 00:33:39,784 'Cause I was six feet tall, they all want to talk about me. 670 00:33:39,884 --> 00:33:42,286 I had a full figure and curves and all that stuff. 671 00:33:42,386 --> 00:33:44,755 They wanted to make fun of me. But I wasn't having it. 672 00:33:44,855 --> 00:33:48,492 You understand? I fought back. That's why I got tough-skinned. 673 00:33:48,592 --> 00:33:51,362 You may have to fight back sometimes. Do you understand? 674 00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:55,499 Don't worry about these people in here trying to make you feel bad. 675 00:33:55,599 --> 00:33:58,469 You got to be nice to people. Pass it on, niceness. 676 00:33:58,569 --> 00:34:00,471 - Do you understand? - Yes, ma'am. 677 00:34:00,571 --> 00:34:04,208 All right, I'm going to write my name on the board... 678 00:34:04,308 --> 00:34:06,945 so you all will know what my name is. 679 00:34:08,045 --> 00:34:10,250 Ain't no chalk. Y'all ain't got no chalk? 680 00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:13,150 Ain't got no eraser either. "No cause..." 681 00:34:13,250 --> 00:34:16,053 Okay. I don't know what all that mean. 682 00:34:16,153 --> 00:34:19,462 All right. Well, what we gonna do is... 683 00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:21,959 I'm gonna tell y'all a story. 684 00:34:22,059 --> 00:34:25,696 This is the story of Christmas. Christmas. 685 00:34:25,796 --> 00:34:30,201 This is what I learned when I went to school... Sunday school. 686 00:34:30,301 --> 00:34:34,611 This is the story of the nativities. 687 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,377 Little baby Jesus was born. 688 00:34:39,477 --> 00:34:42,057 He was born to the Virgin Mary... 689 00:34:42,980 --> 00:34:46,917 J. Blige, and as Mary was on tour... 690 00:34:47,017 --> 00:34:48,819 she met this man named Joe... 691 00:34:48,919 --> 00:34:50,888 Manganiello, who played a werewolf. 692 00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:53,591 And he was in love with her. She said, "Joe. 693 00:34:53,691 --> 00:34:56,026 I am thou-ist with the child-ist. 694 00:34:56,126 --> 00:34:58,896 And the holiness is come upon me... 695 00:34:58,996 --> 00:35:01,406 and I'm going to have a baby-ist." 696 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,203 And Joe said, "Really?" 697 00:35:06,303 --> 00:35:08,372 They ain't know what to do. 698 00:35:08,472 --> 00:35:10,441 So he went on and stayed with her... 699 00:35:10,541 --> 00:35:13,911 and they went on 'cause they was expecting the holy child. 700 00:35:14,011 --> 00:35:15,479 That's right. 701 00:35:15,579 --> 00:35:19,984 And the Bible say in second "Deuteronomo"... 702 00:35:20,084 --> 00:35:25,089 that when he came to the earth... 703 00:35:25,189 --> 00:35:28,926 he came through the Virgin... piña colada. 704 00:35:29,026 --> 00:35:30,995 And as she was there... 705 00:35:31,095 --> 00:35:34,031 they were trying to find somewhere to have the baby... 706 00:35:34,131 --> 00:35:37,868 but they kept going to all these hotels, and wouldn't none of 'em let them in. 707 00:35:37,968 --> 00:35:39,904 Marriott. Shut the door. 708 00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:42,139 Hilton. Shut the door. 709 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,875 Tried to get to the Ritz-Carlton, they said, "You don't belong here." 710 00:35:44,975 --> 00:35:47,945 Everybody just got put out. They went to the Motel 6. 711 00:35:48,045 --> 00:35:51,649 They didn't even leave the light on for her. She was in the dark. 712 00:35:52,716 --> 00:35:55,219 Anyway, there was Mary... 713 00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:57,988 'bout to have that baby, so she sat down at a bus stop. 714 00:35:58,088 --> 00:36:00,090 MARTA bus passed by, wouldn't even pick her up... 715 00:36:00,190 --> 00:36:02,960 to take her to the holy city of Birmingham. 716 00:36:03,060 --> 00:36:07,031 And as she sat there, she went into laborer. 717 00:36:07,131 --> 00:36:09,200 And as she started laboring... 718 00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:11,268 a mangy dog walked up beside her. 719 00:36:11,368 --> 00:36:14,839 See, God will send you a dog when you need it, even if you don't. 720 00:36:14,939 --> 00:36:16,907 And that dog said, "What's wrong with you?" 721 00:36:17,007 --> 00:36:20,811 And as she sat there, she had that baby... 722 00:36:20,911 --> 00:36:23,881 and that baby came next to that mangy dog. 723 00:36:23,981 --> 00:36:27,184 That's why they say he was born in a mangy. 724 00:36:27,284 --> 00:36:29,420 Hallelujah. Let the Lord use ya. 725 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,556 Okay, that's the story of the baby Jesus. That's the hip-hop version. 726 00:36:32,656 --> 00:36:36,101 I'm glad I went to church and to Sunday school. Okay. 727 00:36:37,261 --> 00:36:39,272 Where my purse? 728 00:36:41,065 --> 00:36:43,076 Where my purse? 729 00:36:44,568 --> 00:36:46,470 Y'all ain't seen what happened to my purse? 730 00:36:46,570 --> 00:36:48,205 I'm gonna tell y'all another story. 731 00:36:48,305 --> 00:36:50,441 This is the story of Easter Sunday. 732 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:53,344 Jesus was hanging between two thieves. 733 00:36:53,444 --> 00:36:55,946 One was Baranibus and the other was the Dinosaurus. 734 00:36:56,046 --> 00:36:58,183 Somebody better find my purse right now. 735 00:37:00,217 --> 00:37:03,287 - All we have to do is sign that thing? - Yes. 736 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,656 Lacey told me you needed the money right away. 737 00:37:05,756 --> 00:37:08,392 So I spoke with my boss and got the money in advance. 738 00:37:08,492 --> 00:37:10,572 We're both very sure we'll get the sponsorship. 739 00:37:11,495 --> 00:37:13,063 What's in it for you? 740 00:37:13,163 --> 00:37:16,600 Well, my company gets paid a 10% commission by the company. 741 00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:18,669 You get the entire 100 grand. 742 00:37:18,769 --> 00:37:21,505 It will help us with the shortfall. 743 00:37:21,605 --> 00:37:24,041 - Is everything okay, Wilbur? - Yes, Your Honor. 744 00:37:24,141 --> 00:37:27,222 It's good. It is good. 745 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,825 All right then. Let's do this. 746 00:37:36,253 --> 00:37:38,822 Wonderful. Here you go. 747 00:37:38,922 --> 00:37:42,026 Now, we'll bring the sponsors down to the Jubilee for a photo op. 748 00:37:42,126 --> 00:37:44,763 - That's all we ask. - Of course. 749 00:37:45,696 --> 00:37:47,164 - Thank you, son. - You got it. 750 00:37:47,264 --> 00:37:48,832 Thank you so much. 751 00:37:48,932 --> 00:37:51,168 You have no idea how much we needed this. 752 00:37:51,268 --> 00:37:53,370 - It's my pleasure. - Lacey. 753 00:37:53,470 --> 00:37:56,551 - Thank you. - This is my town too. 754 00:37:57,474 --> 00:37:59,053 Glad I can help. 755 00:38:00,277 --> 00:38:01,612 - Thank you. - Thank you. 756 00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:03,291 After you. 757 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,250 There you go. 758 00:38:06,350 --> 00:38:09,260 You have no clue how much you've just helped us. I mean... 759 00:38:09,853 --> 00:38:12,934 It was my pleasure. I'm glad I could help. 760 00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:16,860 - Thank you again. - You got it. 761 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,163 - Here. - What's this? 762 00:38:19,263 --> 00:38:21,932 - It's your Christmas present. - No. I can't take that. 763 00:38:22,032 --> 00:38:24,468 - Sure you can. - I really can't. 764 00:38:24,568 --> 00:38:26,978 You've already done enough for us. Thank you. 765 00:38:31,141 --> 00:38:32,443 What are you doing? 766 00:38:32,543 --> 00:38:34,748 Your mother told me she thought you missed me. 767 00:38:36,413 --> 00:38:40,084 Look, I know we were children, but I think about you still. 768 00:38:40,184 --> 00:38:42,086 Listen, Oliver, that was a long time ago... 769 00:38:42,186 --> 00:38:44,555 - and I actually have to tell you... - Lacey! 770 00:38:44,655 --> 00:38:46,890 - Get in here. Quick! - Excuse me. 771 00:38:46,990 --> 00:38:48,569 Hurry! 772 00:38:49,159 --> 00:38:50,794 There's a weird woman in here. 773 00:38:50,894 --> 00:38:52,930 What they did back in the day... 774 00:38:53,030 --> 00:38:54,398 Lacey, who is this? 775 00:38:54,498 --> 00:38:56,834 - My aunt Madea. - Hi. 776 00:38:56,934 --> 00:38:58,268 What are you doing? 777 00:38:58,368 --> 00:39:01,472 I was just teaching these children a lesson on Jesus... 778 00:39:01,572 --> 00:39:04,008 from the time he was born until the time he died on Earth. 779 00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:06,644 She tried to steal my purse, but I taught her a lesson. Here you go. 780 00:39:06,744 --> 00:39:10,180 Now you have been crowned the Christmas... Praise. Hallelujah. 781 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,616 - I got her, didn't I? I got her, Bailey. - Yes, ma'am. 782 00:39:12,716 --> 00:39:15,753 'Scuse me. Oliver, take me to the house. I'm getting the hell outta here. 783 00:39:15,853 --> 00:39:17,655 We'll talk when I get back for the Jubilee. 784 00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:20,927 Lucy. How do you even... How did she... 785 00:39:24,261 --> 00:39:26,341 That's a nice-lookin' tree. 786 00:39:45,749 --> 00:39:47,217 - Hey, baby. - Hey. 787 00:39:47,317 --> 00:39:49,319 - Are they here yet? - Nope. 788 00:39:49,419 --> 00:39:51,989 I rushed home. How's my mother? 789 00:39:52,089 --> 00:39:54,491 I don't know. She only said two words to me. 790 00:39:54,591 --> 00:39:56,427 You think of how you're gonna handle this yet? 791 00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:58,362 No. Were you able to talk to your parents? 792 00:39:58,462 --> 00:40:00,041 Nope, no cell phone. 793 00:40:02,132 --> 00:40:04,872 Guess I'll have to talk to 'em now 'cause they're here. 794 00:40:06,970 --> 00:40:08,939 - Hey, hey! - Hi, y'all! 795 00:40:09,039 --> 00:40:10,908 Hey, hey! Look at you! 796 00:40:11,008 --> 00:40:12,815 Don't you go nowhere. 797 00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:15,713 I'm gonna get your mama. 798 00:40:15,813 --> 00:40:18,549 - I look all right? - Yeah, you look great. 799 00:40:18,649 --> 00:40:20,684 - Son! Son! - Mama! Daddy! 800 00:40:20,784 --> 00:40:22,488 Look at you! 801 00:40:23,086 --> 00:40:24,824 Daddy, not the bear hug! 802 00:40:26,123 --> 00:40:28,092 Your old man still got it, don't he? 803 00:40:28,192 --> 00:40:30,561 Look at my Grizzly Adams. 804 00:40:30,661 --> 00:40:34,038 Look at you. You look like a mountain man. 805 00:40:34,832 --> 00:40:37,901 Hey, Son, see this? This ain't fat. This is all foreskin. 806 00:40:38,001 --> 00:40:40,070 Buddy, stop. Don't start so early. 807 00:40:40,170 --> 00:40:41,905 - You must be Lacey. - Yes. 808 00:40:42,005 --> 00:40:43,574 Look at you! 809 00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:45,309 - Oh, my! - You put her down. 810 00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:48,045 You don't gotta break her and snap her neck. 811 00:40:48,145 --> 00:40:50,314 Just give him a little nudge to the flapjacks there. 812 00:40:50,414 --> 00:40:53,383 He'll put you down. Where are my manners? 813 00:40:53,483 --> 00:40:56,553 I am Conner's mama. Please call me Mrs. Williams. 814 00:40:56,653 --> 00:40:59,056 - Hi. - I kiddin'! You... 815 00:40:59,156 --> 00:41:02,203 Call me Kim or Mama. Just don't call me late for dinner. 816 00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:04,194 I'm joshing you. 817 00:41:04,294 --> 00:41:06,597 - Look how pretty. She's very pretty. - Thank you. 818 00:41:06,697 --> 00:41:09,266 She is even more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. 819 00:41:09,366 --> 00:41:11,401 Thank you. 820 00:41:11,501 --> 00:41:14,204 So nice to finally meet you. 821 00:41:14,304 --> 00:41:15,773 You too. 822 00:41:15,873 --> 00:41:17,341 Look at this place. 823 00:41:17,441 --> 00:41:19,777 It is beautiful. This place is stupendous. 824 00:41:19,877 --> 00:41:23,147 My mama and daddy... Sorry. I'm sorry. 825 00:41:23,247 --> 00:41:25,649 They just would've been so proud. Thank you. 826 00:41:25,749 --> 00:41:27,385 - Thank you. - Thank you, Mama. 827 00:41:28,151 --> 00:41:30,420 I was so upset when I heard you two eloped. 828 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,923 I thought maybe you'd come down to Louisiana... 829 00:41:33,023 --> 00:41:35,759 and went up the bayou for the Swamp Manor to get hitched. 830 00:41:35,859 --> 00:41:39,129 We would have thrown you such a shindig. You know that. 831 00:41:39,229 --> 00:41:41,198 Hey, I'm glad y'all did elope. 832 00:41:41,298 --> 00:41:43,600 You done saved me an assload of money. 833 00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:45,169 So I appreciate it. 834 00:41:45,269 --> 00:41:47,404 Well, you've spent enough money on me already, Daddy. 835 00:41:47,504 --> 00:41:49,807 - I'm glad you recognize that. - Honey, we love you. 836 00:41:49,907 --> 00:41:51,942 Anything you want, my son. Anything. 837 00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:53,277 Well... 838 00:41:53,377 --> 00:41:55,013 Have you two eaten? 839 00:41:56,747 --> 00:41:58,827 No, but... 840 00:41:59,783 --> 00:42:01,685 Good, 'cause I caught Christmas dinner. 841 00:42:01,785 --> 00:42:03,187 Caught? 842 00:42:03,287 --> 00:42:07,460 We are gonna have hot possum potpie. I'm gonna make it. 843 00:42:08,125 --> 00:42:10,127 It's good. Nice flaky crust. 844 00:42:10,227 --> 00:42:11,695 Gonna have possum stew... 845 00:42:11,795 --> 00:42:14,331 and your uncle DeWayne done got me some white lightning. 846 00:42:14,431 --> 00:42:16,567 Here, let me take this, Daddy. 847 00:42:16,667 --> 00:42:19,169 Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian. 848 00:42:19,269 --> 00:42:22,239 She's a vegetarianist? On a farm. 849 00:42:22,339 --> 00:42:24,308 - Honey, that must be hard. - That don't mean nothing. 850 00:42:24,408 --> 00:42:27,845 We's Baptist, and we still like a nice possum stew every now and then. 851 00:42:27,945 --> 00:42:31,048 No, Buddy. It means she doesn't eat meat. 852 00:42:31,148 --> 00:42:34,318 - She doesn't eat meat. - Oh, you're a tofu farter. 853 00:42:34,418 --> 00:42:36,386 - Daddy. - Ain't nothing wrong with that. 854 00:42:36,486 --> 00:42:38,655 I like tofu farters. God bless you. 855 00:42:38,755 --> 00:42:40,724 All I'm saying, Son, if she don't eat meat... 856 00:42:40,824 --> 00:42:44,371 that might be a bad thing when it comes to certain parts of the anatomy. 857 00:42:44,962 --> 00:42:48,298 Mama, can you please... I'm sorry. 858 00:42:48,398 --> 00:42:50,200 We just met her. Now, stop. 859 00:42:50,300 --> 00:42:52,736 - Start slow, all right? - I was just kidding. 860 00:42:52,836 --> 00:42:54,304 I'm sorry. He's crazy. 861 00:42:54,404 --> 00:42:56,473 What are we doing standing out here getting all dusty? 862 00:42:56,573 --> 00:42:59,710 Let's go inside and get our meal on. I'm starvin'. 863 00:42:59,810 --> 00:43:02,679 I brought you some spices from your Aunt Tutu's garden. 864 00:43:02,779 --> 00:43:04,248 - Okay. Mama... - You're gonna love 'em. 865 00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:06,984 - Let me go get that. - Hang on, y'all. 866 00:43:07,084 --> 00:43:09,562 Lacey's mama is cookin'. 867 00:43:09,987 --> 00:43:11,955 Lacey's ma... She's here? 868 00:43:12,055 --> 00:43:13,490 - Your mama's here now? - Yes. 869 00:43:13,590 --> 00:43:15,993 - Her mama is here, Buddy. - Hey, hey! All right. 870 00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:17,828 Looks like we get to meet the in-laws. 871 00:43:17,928 --> 00:43:20,197 Actually, we kind of have a problem. 872 00:43:20,297 --> 00:43:21,565 What's the problem? 873 00:43:21,665 --> 00:43:23,870 Lacey hadn't told her mama that we're married. 874 00:43:24,468 --> 00:43:26,570 - What? - Why ain't you told her? 875 00:43:26,670 --> 00:43:27,838 Well... 876 00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:30,507 my mother had dreams for my entire life... 877 00:43:30,607 --> 00:43:33,688 and Conner was not in that dream. 878 00:43:36,079 --> 00:43:37,547 I'm sorry. I do... 879 00:43:37,647 --> 00:43:40,617 - I don't understand. - I think I do. Let me ask you something. 880 00:43:40,717 --> 00:43:43,991 When she had them dreams, was they in color or black-and-white? 881 00:43:48,392 --> 00:43:50,529 She doesn't want you with a white man. 882 00:43:53,196 --> 00:43:55,532 I'm sorry. That's awful. 883 00:43:55,632 --> 00:43:57,601 Honey, we taught all of our children... 884 00:43:57,701 --> 00:43:59,870 "Never see color. Only see heart." 885 00:43:59,970 --> 00:44:03,273 - Isn't that right, Conner? - That's right. 886 00:44:03,373 --> 00:44:06,977 It's such a shame she does not know what kind of person you are. 887 00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:09,579 I'll tell you who he is. 888 00:44:09,679 --> 00:44:12,149 Always taught him to look at a woman's heart. 889 00:44:12,249 --> 00:44:14,318 'Cause that's where their rack hangs. 890 00:44:14,418 --> 00:44:15,585 Daddy. 891 00:44:15,685 --> 00:44:17,821 I'm just kiddin'. She got a nice rack. 892 00:44:17,921 --> 00:44:19,656 Your mama used to have a nice rack. 893 00:44:19,756 --> 00:44:22,859 Now she bends over, just looks like she's got a 7-10 split. 894 00:44:22,959 --> 00:44:25,395 - What the hell does that mean? - It's a bowling term. 895 00:44:25,495 --> 00:44:27,698 - I don't like that, Daddy. - I don't either. 896 00:44:27,798 --> 00:44:31,134 I'm just kiddin'. I still like to go to the bowling alley every now and then. 897 00:44:31,234 --> 00:44:33,370 - You're sexy to me. - Will you hush? 898 00:44:33,470 --> 00:44:36,173 I'm gonna start talking about all your wrinkly, saggy parts. 899 00:44:36,273 --> 00:44:39,411 - It's like a turkey giblet in there. - That was over the line. 900 00:44:40,911 --> 00:44:44,083 Well, honey, Conner, who does she think you are? 901 00:44:44,681 --> 00:44:46,419 She thinks I'm the farm help. 902 00:44:47,350 --> 00:44:49,987 - Well, there's a switcheroo. - The farm help. 903 00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:52,656 Do you think we should leave? I think we should maybe leave. 904 00:44:52,756 --> 00:44:55,559 I ain't goin' nowhere. Hell, I just drove up here. 905 00:44:55,659 --> 00:44:58,595 - I am tired. I want a beer. - I don't want you guys to leave. 906 00:44:58,695 --> 00:45:01,139 Well, what should we do? 907 00:45:02,365 --> 00:45:04,401 Can you give me some time to tell her? 908 00:45:04,501 --> 00:45:08,305 I mean, I have to break it to her gently. She's been very sick. 909 00:45:08,405 --> 00:45:10,607 - Oh, no. - I'm so sorry. 910 00:45:10,707 --> 00:45:13,110 - What's wrong? - She has a weak heart. 911 00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:15,345 Then by all means, you just... 912 00:45:15,445 --> 00:45:17,681 take your time and tell her when you're ready. 913 00:45:17,781 --> 00:45:19,616 - Thank you. - Okay. 914 00:45:19,716 --> 00:45:22,419 We don't want her ticker to tock out on you here. 915 00:45:22,519 --> 00:45:24,287 - We'll behave ourselves. - Yeah. 916 00:45:24,387 --> 00:45:26,123 - You know what we'll be? - What? 917 00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,725 - Parents of the help. - That's right. Parents of the help. 918 00:45:28,825 --> 00:45:31,762 - "Can I get you something?" - Let's head in. 919 00:45:31,862 --> 00:45:34,164 - Come on. - Daddy, behave. 920 00:45:34,264 --> 00:45:37,067 I'll behave. Like a bull in a rodeo. 921 00:45:37,167 --> 00:45:39,870 - Did you paint this? This is fabulous. - I started. 922 00:45:39,970 --> 00:45:41,872 - Still needs some work. - Where you at? 923 00:45:41,972 --> 00:45:43,974 I bet this house run them in the double figures. 924 00:45:44,074 --> 00:45:45,442 - Hey, Madea. - Hey! 925 00:45:45,542 --> 00:45:47,544 - This is my mama, Kim. - How you doin'? 926 00:45:47,644 --> 00:45:49,546 - Good to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Medium. 927 00:45:49,646 --> 00:45:51,481 And this is my daddy, Buddy. 928 00:45:51,581 --> 00:45:53,283 - Nice to meet you. - How you doin', Buddy? 929 00:45:53,383 --> 00:45:55,752 - I'm doing well. - I see y'all brought a bag. 930 00:45:55,852 --> 00:45:57,431 No, that's just my wife. 931 00:45:58,188 --> 00:46:01,558 Forgive my husband. He is just a horse's ass and a half. 932 00:46:01,658 --> 00:46:04,561 - Wait. I smell cookin'. - Yeah, that's Eileen. 933 00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:06,696 - Her mama was up in there cooking. - Where is she? 934 00:46:06,796 --> 00:46:08,999 She was in the kitchen, but she went to the backyard. 935 00:46:09,099 --> 00:46:10,934 Come on. Sit down. Take a load off. 936 00:46:11,034 --> 00:46:13,670 Take a load off. Y'all sit a spell. 937 00:46:13,770 --> 00:46:16,840 - Y'all want something to drink? - I believe I'll have something. 938 00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:18,842 I like you. You're a nice lady. 939 00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:20,911 Don't be flirting with me in front of your wife. 940 00:46:21,011 --> 00:46:23,785 If I put this thing on, you won't be able to get rid of it. 941 00:46:24,714 --> 00:46:27,084 I'll have him pay my rent, car note and everything else. 942 00:46:27,184 --> 00:46:28,854 I'm from the old school. 943 00:46:29,786 --> 00:46:31,588 Believe me, he can't help it. 944 00:46:31,688 --> 00:46:34,191 And if you can stand him, you're welcome to him, right? 945 00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,560 - Hey, Conner, get me a beer. - Yes, sir. 946 00:46:36,660 --> 00:46:38,128 Well, Miss Madea... 947 00:46:38,228 --> 00:46:41,198 looks like we're gonna be spending Christmas dinner together this year... 948 00:46:41,298 --> 00:46:42,766 but don't you worry. 949 00:46:42,866 --> 00:46:45,037 We could care less you're black. 950 00:46:47,237 --> 00:46:49,272 "African-American," Buddy. 951 00:46:49,372 --> 00:46:52,275 Right, whatever. African-American. 952 00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:54,678 That's all right. I don't care that y'all are white America... 953 00:46:54,778 --> 00:46:57,114 Angro... Angrola-Saxons... Saxophonists. 954 00:46:57,214 --> 00:47:00,454 I don't care. That don't matter at all that y'all Anglo-Saxophonists. 955 00:47:01,218 --> 00:47:02,719 I like her. 956 00:47:02,819 --> 00:47:05,255 She's got a good sense of humor and those big, sturdy feet. 957 00:47:05,355 --> 00:47:08,592 You need a good sense of humor with this group in here. 958 00:47:08,692 --> 00:47:11,161 - Here, Daddy, beer. Drink up. - Appreciate it. 959 00:47:11,261 --> 00:47:14,431 - Please, drink up. - I'll tell you what, Son. 960 00:47:14,531 --> 00:47:16,867 That last girl you with was so dadgum ugly... 961 00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:19,069 my dog humped her leg and shut his eyeballs. 962 00:47:19,169 --> 00:47:21,909 Oh, stop it. He's awful! 963 00:47:22,906 --> 00:47:26,776 "He shut his eyeballs." That's ugly. 964 00:47:26,876 --> 00:47:30,480 Please forgive my husband. He is a wannabe comedian. 965 00:47:30,580 --> 00:47:32,048 You are no Jeff Foxworthy. 966 00:47:32,148 --> 00:47:34,684 Well, I try to be, but who can? Who can? 967 00:47:34,784 --> 00:47:37,954 Did you hear the one about the two rabbis and the black dude? 968 00:47:38,054 --> 00:47:39,789 - Daddy. - No. 969 00:47:39,889 --> 00:47:42,359 Did you hear the one about the stray bullet that killed the redneck... 970 00:47:42,459 --> 00:47:44,661 for telling the story about the rabbis and the black dude? 971 00:47:44,761 --> 00:47:46,340 It's hilarious! 972 00:47:47,731 --> 00:47:50,000 I got him, didn't I? I got him. 973 00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:53,044 - Y'all get your ass shot. - I like her. I do. 974 00:47:54,037 --> 00:47:56,242 I do too. She likes to hang. 975 00:47:57,841 --> 00:47:59,809 No, ain't gonna be no hanging around here now. 976 00:47:59,909 --> 00:48:01,945 No, he didn't mean that. He meant that... 977 00:48:02,045 --> 00:48:04,748 You calm the hell down? You are so politically correct. 978 00:48:04,848 --> 00:48:06,650 They're having fun. I'm having fun too. 979 00:48:06,750 --> 00:48:09,126 I wasn't offended. Hell, I got a pistol. 980 00:48:10,053 --> 00:48:12,389 I knew she knew that. Let me ask you this. 981 00:48:12,489 --> 00:48:13,957 Do you know Oprah? 982 00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,859 Honey, I told you... 983 00:48:15,959 --> 00:48:18,361 all black folk don't necessarily know each other. 984 00:48:18,461 --> 00:48:23,500 - Could've fooled me. - Do I look like Paul Bunyan or what? 985 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:27,614 Actually, you sure in the hell do. And the Jolly Green Giant too. Ho-ho-ho. 986 00:48:28,271 --> 00:48:30,941 - Farmhand, please help me. - His name is Conner. 987 00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:32,075 Whew! 988 00:48:32,175 --> 00:48:34,211 I think the tree... 989 00:48:34,311 --> 00:48:36,279 would look good right here. 990 00:48:36,379 --> 00:48:38,548 If you don't mind me butting in... 991 00:48:38,648 --> 00:48:41,985 I think it would look really pretty right here by the window... 992 00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:44,754 and that way all the passersby can enjoy it. 993 00:48:44,854 --> 00:48:47,424 That's where we had it every year. 994 00:48:47,524 --> 00:48:49,993 - And who are you? - That's a pretty tree. 995 00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:52,262 I am... I'm Conner's mom. 996 00:48:52,362 --> 00:48:55,841 That's Kim and that's Buddy. These are Coroner's parents. 997 00:48:56,900 --> 00:49:00,103 This is Eileen. I wanna scream. I mean, Eileen. 998 00:49:00,203 --> 00:49:05,175 Trees are for the family, not for strangers. 999 00:49:05,275 --> 00:49:07,277 What the hell these people doing here? 1000 00:49:07,377 --> 00:49:10,458 Mama, they came to visit Conner for Christmas. 1001 00:49:11,581 --> 00:49:16,553 Really? That is just like my daughter. 1002 00:49:16,653 --> 00:49:18,255 I raised you right. 1003 00:49:18,355 --> 00:49:22,792 My daughter has always been good with helping the help. 1004 00:49:22,892 --> 00:49:24,928 Yes. 1005 00:49:25,028 --> 00:49:27,731 - Where you staying? - We're thinking of staying here. 1006 00:49:27,831 --> 00:49:30,467 Yeah. We drove all the way up from Louisiana... 1007 00:49:30,567 --> 00:49:33,204 to spend Christmas with Conner and Lacey. 1008 00:49:34,204 --> 00:49:37,114 It'll be a little cramped... 1009 00:49:37,874 --> 00:49:39,612 but we'll make do. 1010 00:49:41,511 --> 00:49:44,281 Madea and I will share a room. 1011 00:49:44,381 --> 00:49:46,583 You, Buddy and... 1012 00:49:46,683 --> 00:49:47,751 Kim. 1013 00:49:47,851 --> 00:49:50,120 Kim, take another room... 1014 00:49:50,220 --> 00:49:52,055 - and Carver... - Conner. 1015 00:49:52,155 --> 00:49:53,456 - That's what I said. - Conner. 1016 00:49:53,556 --> 00:49:56,068 Yes, Carver, you can take the sofa. 1017 00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,529 Let me get some decorations. 1018 00:49:59,629 --> 00:50:02,132 Okay. I just... 1019 00:50:02,232 --> 00:50:05,602 So many memories just coming back to me bein' here. 1020 00:50:05,702 --> 00:50:09,673 To tell you, Lacey, my mama, she loved this place. She did. 1021 00:50:09,773 --> 00:50:12,742 I'm so happy you all came back here to take care of it. 1022 00:50:12,842 --> 00:50:14,250 Welcome. 1023 00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:17,314 Well, my daughter's paying the mortgage... 1024 00:50:17,414 --> 00:50:19,649 so I hope you bring in a crop this year. 1025 00:50:19,749 --> 00:50:22,152 I told you not to buy this farm. 1026 00:50:22,252 --> 00:50:26,189 That dam up north caused a lot of problems this year for the farmers. 1027 00:50:26,289 --> 00:50:29,893 But Conner, he's got him a new strain of corn that takes less water. 1028 00:50:29,993 --> 00:50:31,628 Now, how's that work, Conner? 1029 00:50:31,728 --> 00:50:35,198 I studied agriculture at New York State. 1030 00:50:35,298 --> 00:50:36,833 Is that where you two met? 1031 00:50:36,933 --> 00:50:38,568 Yeah. He's brilliant. 1032 00:50:38,668 --> 00:50:41,471 Gets it from his old man. Runs in the genes. 1033 00:50:41,571 --> 00:50:44,841 At the science of it, not so much the farming. 1034 00:50:44,941 --> 00:50:48,211 So genius, little Einstein, little Stephen Hawkins. 1035 00:50:48,311 --> 00:50:51,314 We used to call him "Smarty Britches" when he was little. 1036 00:50:51,414 --> 00:50:55,151 If you put some Viagra in that tree's water, it'll stay up all year. 1037 00:50:55,251 --> 00:50:59,060 You better put some Viagra in your water. See what happen with your tree. 1038 00:51:02,392 --> 00:51:05,729 - All right, let's decorate. - No, thank you. I can manage. 1039 00:51:05,829 --> 00:51:08,631 I brought some decorations from Atlanta... 1040 00:51:08,731 --> 00:51:11,067 and I work at one of the finest department stores... 1041 00:51:11,167 --> 00:51:13,403 so I know a thing or two about taste. 1042 00:51:13,503 --> 00:51:15,082 Where... 1043 00:51:15,505 --> 00:51:17,474 Where did you get this tree? 1044 00:51:17,574 --> 00:51:19,709 I mean, you have a beautiful Christmas tree... 1045 00:51:19,809 --> 00:51:23,322 right outside the kitchen window and none in the house. 1046 00:51:25,515 --> 00:51:27,094 What's wrong? 1047 00:51:27,684 --> 00:51:29,753 Please don't tell me that's your granddaddy's tree. 1048 00:51:29,853 --> 00:51:31,354 Oh, dear God. 1049 00:51:31,454 --> 00:51:34,524 Mama, was there a yellow ribbon wrapped around that tree? 1050 00:51:34,624 --> 00:51:36,465 Yes, and I cut it off. 1051 00:51:37,961 --> 00:51:40,330 Excuse me. Excuse me. 1052 00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:42,134 What happened? What? 1053 00:51:43,132 --> 00:51:45,168 My mama planted that tree... 1054 00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:47,746 in memory of my granddaddy. 1055 00:51:51,841 --> 00:51:54,043 Well, how was I supposed to know that? 1056 00:51:54,143 --> 00:51:55,879 This doesn't make any sense. Lacey. 1057 00:51:55,979 --> 00:51:59,916 Did these people come when you bought this land? 1058 00:52:00,016 --> 00:52:03,893 This is your land now. You can do what you want to with it. 1059 00:52:04,554 --> 00:52:06,289 Excuse me. 1060 00:52:06,389 --> 00:52:07,857 You don't look so good. 1061 00:52:07,957 --> 00:52:10,193 Feeling a little light-headed. 1062 00:52:10,293 --> 00:52:12,195 Well, sit down then. Sit down. 1063 00:52:12,295 --> 00:52:13,703 Okay. 1064 00:52:15,532 --> 00:52:18,268 It's all these strange people in this house, that's what it is. 1065 00:52:18,368 --> 00:52:20,470 It ain't them people, it's you! Hell, you! 1066 00:52:20,570 --> 00:52:23,640 You lost your damn mind. You done lost your damn mind! 1067 00:52:23,740 --> 00:52:27,410 Anytime you see somebody with a yellow ribbon on the tree, Eileen... 1068 00:52:27,510 --> 00:52:30,146 a yellow ribbon, that means a memoriam. 1069 00:52:30,246 --> 00:52:31,448 Don't you know what that means? 1070 00:52:31,548 --> 00:52:33,917 Everybody in the USA knows what a memoriam is... 1071 00:52:34,017 --> 00:52:36,019 when you see a yellow ribbon on a damn tree. 1072 00:52:36,119 --> 00:52:37,687 You work on my nerves. 1073 00:52:37,787 --> 00:52:41,090 That poor woman is probably crying 'cause you cut down her daddy's tree. 1074 00:52:41,190 --> 00:52:43,159 What wrong with you, cutting down her daddy's tree? 1075 00:52:43,259 --> 00:52:45,328 You know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna make this plain. 1076 00:52:45,428 --> 00:52:47,330 You're gonna go to bed, slip into a coma... 1077 00:52:47,430 --> 00:52:49,165 and everybody gonna wonder what happened to you. 1078 00:52:49,265 --> 00:52:51,835 I did it. It's Christmas, damn it! 1079 00:52:51,935 --> 00:52:54,871 I don't know, Buddy. I don't think I can deal with this. 1080 00:52:54,971 --> 00:52:57,307 I don't like it. It's wrong. 1081 00:52:57,407 --> 00:53:01,411 I can't pretend to be somebody. I'm not an actress. I'm not Reba. 1082 00:53:01,511 --> 00:53:04,280 Maybe we should just leave. Let's pack up and leave tomorrow. 1083 00:53:04,380 --> 00:53:06,282 No, we're not going back home. We're staying here. 1084 00:53:06,382 --> 00:53:07,951 - It's Christmas. - And that woman... 1085 00:53:08,051 --> 00:53:11,855 she cuts down my daddy's memory tree and acts like she doesn't even care! 1086 00:53:11,955 --> 00:53:13,923 Honey, I know. It stinks. I get it. 1087 00:53:14,023 --> 00:53:15,992 You know what? We'll get you another tree. 1088 00:53:16,092 --> 00:53:19,128 I want that tree. I want my daddy's tree. What about our son? 1089 00:53:19,228 --> 00:53:21,798 Conner just stands there and doesn't say anything back to this woman. 1090 00:53:21,898 --> 00:53:24,868 He's just pretending, just saying nothin' to this woman. 1091 00:53:24,968 --> 00:53:28,738 Sweetheart, you know our kid. He can't tell no to anybody. 1092 00:53:28,838 --> 00:53:30,306 Let him figure it out. 1093 00:53:30,406 --> 00:53:32,141 - You want some of this? - No, not now. 1094 00:53:32,241 --> 00:53:35,378 - You know you want some of this. - I don't. It's too much for me. 1095 00:53:35,478 --> 00:53:37,380 Remember that game we played when we was kids? 1096 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,449 - Mystery Date? - No, the Ghost and the Damsel. 1097 00:53:39,549 --> 00:53:41,518 - You remember that? - Buddy Williams... 1098 00:53:41,618 --> 00:53:44,654 We are not playing... This is not the time or the place. Don't you dare. 1099 00:53:44,754 --> 00:53:47,023 Go take a cold shower and get off of me. 1100 00:53:47,123 --> 00:53:48,992 Go throw some milk on that thing. 1101 00:53:49,092 --> 00:53:51,672 I think I left my bag in... 1102 00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:54,709 one of my bags here. 1103 00:54:00,203 --> 00:54:02,138 - You think she noticed me? - Yes! 1104 00:54:02,238 --> 00:54:04,875 - Yes! - Oh, damn. 1105 00:54:07,677 --> 00:54:11,080 How to stop diabetes before it starts. That's what AARP talking about. 1106 00:54:11,180 --> 00:54:13,260 You got to read this, this is pretty good. 1107 00:54:23,092 --> 00:54:24,561 Eileen, what you doin'? 1108 00:54:24,661 --> 00:54:26,162 I knew it. 1109 00:54:26,262 --> 00:54:28,431 He's in the Ku Klux Klan. 1110 00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:30,110 What? 1111 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:34,203 He was wearing the sheet when I went in the room. 1112 00:54:34,303 --> 00:54:36,239 Them people are not in no Ku Klux Klan. 1113 00:54:36,339 --> 00:54:38,107 I saw the Klan today. That ain't the Klan. 1114 00:54:38,207 --> 00:54:41,711 - They probably trying to make up the bed. - I know the Klan when I see it. 1115 00:54:41,811 --> 00:54:44,180 There you go, overreacting, like you always do. 1116 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:46,758 - Yes, he is. - Always jump to conclusions. 1117 00:54:47,517 --> 00:54:48,918 Stop jumping to conclusions. 1118 00:54:49,018 --> 00:54:51,428 No, baby. No. 1119 00:54:52,021 --> 00:54:53,489 I know what I saw. 1120 00:54:53,589 --> 00:54:55,625 Eileen, you gonna get your pressure up. 1121 00:54:55,725 --> 00:55:00,263 I'm gonna sleep with one eye open tonight. 1122 00:55:00,363 --> 00:55:04,601 Yes. Oh, Lord, my poor daughter, she's so naive. 1123 00:55:04,701 --> 00:55:07,470 She don't know what's going on. She don't have a clue. 1124 00:55:07,570 --> 00:55:10,373 You don't have a clue, talkin' about sleeping with one eye open. 1125 00:55:10,473 --> 00:55:13,142 I hope it's not the lazy one, 'cause that one always look closed. 1126 00:55:13,242 --> 00:55:15,044 Them people are not in the Klan. 1127 00:55:15,144 --> 00:55:17,313 You put all of this stuff in front of that door. 1128 00:55:17,413 --> 00:55:19,048 All that stuff in front the damn door. 1129 00:55:19,148 --> 00:55:22,385 I go to the bathroom, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 12 times a night... 1130 00:55:22,485 --> 00:55:24,387 and if I laugh too hard, I squirt pee. 1131 00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,189 You got to move that stuff. 1132 00:55:26,289 --> 00:55:29,666 How can I go to the bathroom at night with all that in front the door? 1133 00:55:32,495 --> 00:55:34,197 What this? 1134 00:55:34,297 --> 00:55:37,071 - I can't sit on this cup! - Then stand up. 1135 00:56:16,005 --> 00:56:17,473 Conner, I'm sorry. 1136 00:56:17,573 --> 00:56:20,119 - Can I ask you something? - What's that? 1137 00:56:22,211 --> 00:56:24,781 - Are you ashamed of me? - No. 1138 00:56:24,881 --> 00:56:27,016 Then why won't you tell her? 1139 00:56:27,116 --> 00:56:31,187 I've never let my mother down my entire life. Okay? 1140 00:56:31,287 --> 00:56:35,191 I've done everything she wanted. Always. 1141 00:56:35,291 --> 00:56:38,235 And this is the first time I've done something that I want. 1142 00:56:39,762 --> 00:56:41,831 Conner, it's gonna break her heart. 1143 00:56:41,931 --> 00:56:43,399 You gotta understand that. 1144 00:56:43,499 --> 00:56:46,002 You have to understand how this makes me feel. 1145 00:56:46,102 --> 00:56:49,581 I love you. I'm proud of us. I don't care who knows. 1146 00:56:53,743 --> 00:56:56,915 - Are you coming to bed? - You mean the sofa, right? 1147 00:56:57,513 --> 00:56:59,916 You know the walls are thin. 1148 00:57:00,016 --> 00:57:02,221 My patience is getting there with this. 1149 00:57:11,127 --> 00:57:14,063 And I told her, "You better get the hell on out the way." 1150 00:57:14,163 --> 00:57:16,432 Lord, that was funny. Your mama was something else. 1151 00:57:16,532 --> 00:57:18,270 Here you are, Miss Murphy. 1152 00:57:19,635 --> 00:57:21,838 Three little eggs. 1153 00:57:21,938 --> 00:57:23,745 Mama, it's fine. 1154 00:57:24,674 --> 00:57:26,375 Would you like some coffee, Conner? 1155 00:57:26,475 --> 00:57:29,522 No, I gotta tend to the animals. 1156 00:57:33,216 --> 00:57:35,551 I can give you a few pointers if you want to. 1157 00:57:35,651 --> 00:57:37,553 - Yeah, that would be great. - Okay, great. 1158 00:57:37,653 --> 00:57:39,733 All right. I'll be outside if y'all need me. 1159 00:57:40,323 --> 00:57:42,959 What kind of farmhand don't know about farmin'? 1160 00:57:43,059 --> 00:57:45,862 - He knows the science of it, Mama. - No, I heard that last night. 1161 00:57:45,962 --> 00:57:48,297 Wait. Why are you always defending him? 1162 00:57:48,397 --> 00:57:50,977 'Cause she like him. 1163 00:57:52,401 --> 00:57:55,138 Over my dead body will she end up with somebody like that. 1164 00:57:55,238 --> 00:57:56,749 Somebody like what? 1165 00:57:57,540 --> 00:58:01,110 I don't wanna talk about it. We don't make those kind of jokes, okay? 1166 00:58:01,210 --> 00:58:03,246 Hush up, Dragon Lady. Hush the hell up. 1167 00:58:03,346 --> 00:58:06,716 If she like him, she like him. That's all that is. Just hush. 1168 00:58:06,816 --> 00:58:08,618 Excuse me. Good morning, y'all. 1169 00:58:08,718 --> 00:58:12,121 This room brings back so many memories. 1170 00:58:12,221 --> 00:58:14,090 Smells like farm. 1171 00:58:14,190 --> 00:58:15,658 Good morning, Miss Mandela. 1172 00:58:15,758 --> 00:58:17,735 Not Mandela, honey. Madea. 1173 00:58:18,661 --> 00:58:20,963 Madea, honey. Hi, sweetheart. 1174 00:58:21,063 --> 00:58:22,999 Mrs. Williams, would you like some coffee? 1175 00:58:23,099 --> 00:58:26,335 - I'm gonna get it myself. - Don't you have to go to school? 1176 00:58:26,435 --> 00:58:29,605 Actually, I do. I'm on my way. I'll talk to you later. 1177 00:58:29,705 --> 00:58:31,307 Bye, Miss Mandela. 1178 00:58:32,008 --> 00:58:35,044 I had such a crazy, crazy-ass dream last night. 1179 00:58:35,144 --> 00:58:37,146 - Really? - Yeah. What are you cooking? 1180 00:58:37,246 --> 00:58:40,183 - Can I help? I'm good in the kitchen. - No, I don't need your help. 1181 00:58:40,283 --> 00:58:41,259 Eileen! 1182 00:58:42,184 --> 00:58:44,355 What? I don't need her help. 1183 00:58:45,788 --> 00:58:49,258 I understand. I like to cook alone myself sometimes too. 1184 00:58:49,358 --> 00:58:50,827 - Thank you. - All right then. 1185 00:58:50,927 --> 00:58:52,062 - Thank you. - Okay. 1186 00:58:52,662 --> 00:58:54,130 You oughta be ashamed of yourself. 1187 00:58:54,230 --> 00:58:56,199 That ain't being Christian, being that mean to that woman. 1188 00:58:56,299 --> 00:58:58,936 I don't eat food from the KKK. 1189 00:58:59,535 --> 00:59:02,605 That woman ain't in no KKK. Hush that foolishness. Hell. 1190 00:59:02,705 --> 00:59:04,974 - I love you, Son. - Love you too. 1191 00:59:05,074 --> 00:59:06,676 Stay warm, okay? 1192 00:59:13,616 --> 00:59:16,697 - Stop babying him. - You need to start babying him. 1193 00:59:17,620 --> 00:59:19,288 What's the matter with you? 1194 00:59:19,388 --> 00:59:21,991 You did not need to be so mean to that woman yesterday. 1195 00:59:22,091 --> 00:59:24,293 She don't need to be coming around here. 1196 00:59:24,393 --> 00:59:27,230 She seems nice. She just wants the best for Bailey. 1197 00:59:27,330 --> 00:59:29,966 I know what's the best for Bailey, and that's keeping this place running. 1198 00:59:30,066 --> 00:59:31,701 He can learn something in school. 1199 00:59:31,801 --> 00:59:34,237 Maybe become something more than the two of us. 1200 00:59:34,337 --> 00:59:37,213 Yeah? Well, school is gonna have to wait. 1201 00:59:38,774 --> 00:59:40,576 Gotta get these "poinsetters" sold. 1202 00:59:40,676 --> 00:59:44,013 Think I'm gonna go down to Harrisburg. Try sell 'em over there. 1203 00:59:44,113 --> 00:59:46,949 If you would have talked to Lacey, you would've found out... 1204 00:59:47,049 --> 00:59:50,186 that she has got sponsorship for the Jubilee, so it is happening. 1205 00:59:50,286 --> 00:59:52,655 So you can sell your poinsettias at the Jubilee. 1206 00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:54,960 - Who's the sponsor? - I don't know. 1207 00:59:58,327 --> 01:00:00,396 Who does she think she is? 1208 01:00:00,496 --> 01:00:02,498 What you mad for, huh? 1209 01:00:02,598 --> 01:00:04,600 The Jubilee is happening. 1210 01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:07,737 We don't need her help. She ain't from around here. 1211 01:00:07,837 --> 01:00:11,073 - Well, that's just plain dumb. - You watch your back talk, Amber. 1212 01:00:11,173 --> 01:00:13,549 And you watch your front talk, Tanner. 1213 01:00:18,981 --> 01:00:20,583 - Hi. - Hey. 1214 01:00:21,183 --> 01:00:22,921 Heard about the sponsorship? 1215 01:00:23,686 --> 01:00:25,655 Yeah, just found out about it. 1216 01:00:25,755 --> 01:00:28,224 - We got a problem. - What's that? 1217 01:00:28,324 --> 01:00:30,563 Sponsor is Sheldon Construction. 1218 01:00:34,030 --> 01:00:36,766 Same Sheldon Construction that built the dam that put us all out of business? 1219 01:00:36,866 --> 01:00:40,277 - That's the one. - Hell no. You see? 1220 01:00:41,370 --> 01:00:42,949 Unbelievable. 1221 01:00:47,143 --> 01:00:49,849 Child, these nipples so tough, you need a mammogram. 1222 01:00:50,346 --> 01:00:52,483 Don't look at me like that. 1223 01:00:53,082 --> 01:00:55,184 - But you giving milk. - Well, hello. 1224 01:00:55,985 --> 01:00:57,564 Hey there. 1225 01:00:58,788 --> 01:01:01,290 - How are ya? - Thems pigs was starving to death. 1226 01:01:01,390 --> 01:01:04,093 I slopped them, and I've been trying to get milk for Eileen. 1227 01:01:04,193 --> 01:01:06,629 - She's in there trying to cook something. - Look, he's trying. 1228 01:01:06,729 --> 01:01:09,832 - We sure do appreciate you helpin'. - No. That's fine. 1229 01:01:09,932 --> 01:01:12,969 I'll show him how to do it when he come out of that laboratory thing. 1230 01:01:13,069 --> 01:01:15,604 Look like he growing marijuana. He ain't growing marijuana, is he? 1231 01:01:15,704 --> 01:01:18,574 No, he ain't doing that. Look, he's a smart kid, you know. 1232 01:01:18,674 --> 01:01:20,981 He just, well... 1233 01:01:22,244 --> 01:01:24,146 - What? - I'm a truck driver. 1234 01:01:24,246 --> 01:01:26,716 I'm out on the road a lot, you know, and... 1235 01:01:26,816 --> 01:01:29,986 he always stayed with his mom and his grandparents here. 1236 01:01:30,086 --> 01:01:33,155 I tell you what, it broke my heart to be gone so much... 1237 01:01:33,255 --> 01:01:37,360 but I just kind of feel a little guilty about the way he turned out. 1238 01:01:37,460 --> 01:01:39,929 - How he turn out? - Kind of passive, I guess. 1239 01:01:40,029 --> 01:01:42,231 Kind of lets people walk all over him. 1240 01:01:42,331 --> 01:01:46,435 I mean, he used to get beat up a lot in school, bullied. 1241 01:01:46,535 --> 01:01:48,204 - Oh, he's soft. - He's soft. 1242 01:01:48,304 --> 01:01:50,840 This kid, Tanner, used to beat him up all the time. 1243 01:01:50,940 --> 01:01:52,842 And he still lives here, that Tanner. 1244 01:01:52,942 --> 01:01:55,544 When a person gets tired of a bully, they handle it, you understand? 1245 01:01:55,644 --> 01:01:59,081 You shut it down and you realize that you ain't gonna deal with it no more. 1246 01:01:59,181 --> 01:02:01,784 - Boy, that's the truth. - Gotta wait for that. 1247 01:02:01,884 --> 01:02:04,220 Hey, we were just talking about you. 1248 01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:05,788 - Yeah? - It was all good stuff. 1249 01:02:05,888 --> 01:02:07,857 - All good stuff. - Good. 1250 01:02:07,957 --> 01:02:10,594 That one, she just will not let you milk her. 1251 01:02:11,961 --> 01:02:14,166 - The black-and-white one? - Yep. 1252 01:02:16,298 --> 01:02:19,902 There's a reason why you couldn't get milk from the black-and-white one, son. 1253 01:02:21,937 --> 01:02:24,574 If somebody pull on your testicles, will you give 'em milk? 1254 01:02:25,741 --> 01:02:26,842 Don't answer that. 1255 01:02:26,942 --> 01:02:29,645 That's a bull. You can't milk no bull. 1256 01:02:29,745 --> 01:02:31,825 You serious, trying to milk a bull? 1257 01:02:32,948 --> 01:02:34,118 Blessed. 1258 01:02:35,284 --> 01:02:37,820 Son, you got to slop them pigs early in the morning. 1259 01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:41,323 Then you gotta milk these cows 'cause they nipples is tough. 1260 01:02:41,423 --> 01:02:44,026 And you can't be gentle. You got to pull them nipples. 1261 01:02:44,126 --> 01:02:46,195 You got to pull them things. Pull 'em hard. 1262 01:02:46,295 --> 01:02:48,731 Pull 'em. Pull 'em. Pull 'em. 1263 01:02:48,831 --> 01:02:53,209 You're used to that. Hell, his mama breast-fed him until he was in ninth grade. 1264 01:02:54,203 --> 01:02:57,750 Shut your mouth! Ninth grade? Her nipples ought to have corrosion. 1265 01:02:58,340 --> 01:03:00,709 Yeah. That's right. You ought to see them things. 1266 01:03:00,809 --> 01:03:02,978 They look like cake decorator bags. 1267 01:03:03,078 --> 01:03:05,948 Dad, stop it. Come on. 1268 01:03:06,048 --> 01:03:09,652 Y'all, sometimes I just think I'm not cut out for this. 1269 01:03:09,752 --> 01:03:13,163 Well, hey, it's just a nipple! 1270 01:03:13,756 --> 01:03:15,658 Daddy, I'm talking about farming. 1271 01:03:15,758 --> 01:03:17,560 Well, hey, farming's hard, Son. 1272 01:03:17,660 --> 01:03:19,569 Yes, farming's hard. You know what else is hard? 1273 01:03:20,229 --> 01:03:21,530 Keeping up a lie... 1274 01:03:21,630 --> 01:03:24,266 'cause the longer you let it live, the harder it is to kill. 1275 01:03:24,366 --> 01:03:26,168 - Ain't that right? - You got that right. 1276 01:03:26,268 --> 01:03:28,104 You're a smart woman. 1277 01:03:28,204 --> 01:03:31,107 - What are you talkin' about? - What am I talkin' about? 1278 01:03:31,207 --> 01:03:33,008 I'm talking about you and Lacey. 1279 01:03:33,108 --> 01:03:35,244 You wanna tell Eileen, or you want me to tell her y'all together? 1280 01:03:35,344 --> 01:03:37,481 - Daddy! - Hey, I didn't say nothin'. 1281 01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:39,748 - Who told you? - You just did. 1282 01:03:39,848 --> 01:03:41,884 Whole body language. Tensed up. 1283 01:03:41,984 --> 01:03:44,386 When I walked in the house the other day, I saw them shoes. 1284 01:03:44,486 --> 01:03:46,822 I see the way you look at her, the way she look at you. 1285 01:03:46,922 --> 01:03:49,458 - Y'all need to say something. - It's not me. I wanna tell her. 1286 01:03:49,558 --> 01:03:52,461 It's Lacey. She says she doesn't think she can handle it. 1287 01:03:52,561 --> 01:03:54,797 We just need a defibrillator. She gonna have a heart attack. 1288 01:03:54,897 --> 01:03:56,532 She gonna clutch the pearls and die. 1289 01:03:56,632 --> 01:03:58,701 But we'll get a defibrillator. She'll be all right. 1290 01:03:58,801 --> 01:04:00,881 But it's all right. Y'all just dating. 1291 01:04:01,704 --> 01:04:02,839 Dating? 1292 01:04:04,473 --> 01:04:06,052 They're married. 1293 01:04:06,575 --> 01:04:08,086 Oh, she dead. 1294 01:04:08,844 --> 01:04:10,252 Flatline. Just... 1295 01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:14,483 Dead. Lord have mercy, that's going to kill her. 1296 01:04:14,583 --> 01:04:16,919 Lacey said she's gonna tell her on Christmas. 1297 01:04:17,019 --> 01:04:18,921 She fixin' to kill her mama on Christmas Day? 1298 01:04:19,021 --> 01:04:21,624 - What kind of Christmas present is that? - Oh, damn. 1299 01:04:22,558 --> 01:04:24,527 Y'all better have some nitroglycerin or something. 1300 01:04:24,627 --> 01:04:26,595 That's a damn shame. Gonna kill that woman on... 1301 01:04:26,695 --> 01:04:28,775 Hell, I'm stuck in the mud. 1302 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:32,668 Hell, this ain't mud! 1303 01:04:32,768 --> 01:04:35,314 - You all right? - I done fell in bull... 1304 01:04:39,408 --> 01:04:42,079 Keep going. Help each other out. 1305 01:04:43,512 --> 01:04:45,915 - Hi. What's going on? - It's bad. 1306 01:04:46,015 --> 01:04:47,816 Oliver called and told the mayor... 1307 01:04:47,916 --> 01:04:51,921 that we couldn't have any references to the nativity or Jesus. 1308 01:04:52,021 --> 01:04:54,757 - What? - The sponsors don't want it. 1309 01:04:54,857 --> 01:04:57,459 No. No, something is wrong. I'll call him. 1310 01:04:57,559 --> 01:04:59,639 Well, the mayor wants to see you now. 1311 01:05:00,763 --> 01:05:02,672 - Come on. - Okay. 1312 01:05:03,832 --> 01:05:05,570 Who does he think he is? 1313 01:05:07,269 --> 01:05:09,038 All right! That's enough! 1314 01:05:09,138 --> 01:05:11,307 That's enough! 1315 01:05:11,407 --> 01:05:13,142 One at a time! 1316 01:05:13,242 --> 01:05:14,877 I'm very upset. 1317 01:05:14,977 --> 01:05:17,379 She is trying to take Christ out of Christmas. 1318 01:05:17,479 --> 01:05:20,216 Next thing you know they'll wanna take prayer out of church! 1319 01:05:20,316 --> 01:05:22,284 You see what happened when they took prayer out of schools. 1320 01:05:22,384 --> 01:05:23,352 We did. 1321 01:05:23,452 --> 01:05:25,721 Wilbur, what does it say? 1322 01:05:25,821 --> 01:05:29,358 Well, the contract says... no nativity. 1323 01:05:29,458 --> 01:05:31,994 No Jesus reference whatsoever. 1324 01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:34,496 Not even a little drummer boy. 1325 01:05:34,596 --> 01:05:36,065 Unbelievable. 1326 01:05:36,165 --> 01:05:38,167 Why didn't it say that the first time you read it? 1327 01:05:38,267 --> 01:05:40,436 Well, it was in the small print. 1328 01:05:40,536 --> 01:05:42,504 I didn't have my glasses on. 1329 01:05:42,604 --> 01:05:45,040 I didn't have my glasses on! I couldn't see! 1330 01:05:45,140 --> 01:05:46,875 - This is awful! - Wait. 1331 01:05:46,975 --> 01:05:49,055 This has got to be a mistake. 1332 01:05:49,678 --> 01:05:51,780 Let me call Oliver. How about that? 1333 01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:54,183 All righty. You go right ahead. 1334 01:05:54,283 --> 01:05:56,418 I've already talked to him about this, but have at it. 1335 01:05:56,518 --> 01:05:57,926 Okay. 1336 01:05:58,854 --> 01:06:00,865 - Put it on speaker. - Yeah. 1337 01:06:01,357 --> 01:06:02,936 Okay. 1338 01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:13,202 Hello? 1339 01:06:13,302 --> 01:06:16,605 - Hi Oliver. - Hey. Guess you talked to the mayor. 1340 01:06:16,705 --> 01:06:19,775 Yes, we are all here on speakerphone. 1341 01:06:19,875 --> 01:06:22,077 Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is. 1342 01:06:22,177 --> 01:06:24,980 They want it to be called Holiday Jubilee instead of Christmas. 1343 01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:27,283 Yeah, and they don't need references to religious figures. 1344 01:06:27,383 --> 01:06:30,286 How do we talk about Christmas without talking about Jesus? 1345 01:06:30,386 --> 01:06:32,621 - Yeah, how do we? - It happens all the time, 1346 01:06:32,721 --> 01:06:34,690 Santa Claus is okay. 1347 01:06:34,790 --> 01:06:37,461 Make it about Santa Claus and not about the birth of Christ. 1348 01:06:38,060 --> 01:06:42,731 And the songs for the Jubilee should be about everything but Christ. 1349 01:06:42,831 --> 01:06:46,001 Sing songs like Here Comes Santa Claus, White Christmas. 1350 01:06:46,101 --> 01:06:47,536 White Christmas. 1351 01:06:47,636 --> 01:06:50,539 There ain't nothing white about a Bucktussle, Alabama Christmas! 1352 01:06:50,639 --> 01:06:52,374 - It don't snow here! - That's right. 1353 01:06:52,474 --> 01:06:55,544 Okay, Oliver, we did not sign up for this. Okay? 1354 01:06:55,644 --> 01:06:57,112 Yes, you did. 1355 01:06:57,212 --> 01:06:59,417 I am a Christian, and this is some bull... 1356 01:07:03,018 --> 01:07:05,287 The heads of the company are coming down on a private jet... 1357 01:07:05,387 --> 01:07:06,522 A private jet. 1358 01:07:06,622 --> 01:07:08,357 To be filmed with the school at the Jubilee, 1359 01:07:08,457 --> 01:07:10,492 I did you a favor here, and this will ruin me. 1360 01:07:10,592 --> 01:07:12,494 You can't do this to me now. 1361 01:07:12,594 --> 01:07:16,665 I can't just turn them around. You have to figure this one out. 1362 01:07:16,765 --> 01:07:19,168 - You hold on there, son. - That's right. You get it straight. 1363 01:07:19,268 --> 01:07:22,171 With all due respect, Mr. Mayor, you got the money and we have a deal. 1364 01:07:22,271 --> 01:07:24,239 - Give him his money back. - Yeah. 1365 01:07:24,339 --> 01:07:25,808 - We spent it. - Yeah. 1366 01:07:25,908 --> 01:07:27,543 - On what? - The Jubilee! 1367 01:07:27,643 --> 01:07:31,213 And much-needed school supplies. And catching up on school bills. 1368 01:07:31,313 --> 01:07:34,116 Listen, I'm sorry, but we're coming. 1369 01:07:34,216 --> 01:07:36,552 This is my career you're talking about. 1370 01:07:36,652 --> 01:07:38,231 I'll see you tomorrow. 1371 01:07:38,821 --> 01:07:40,956 Move, move. Now, watch out. 1372 01:07:41,056 --> 01:07:45,094 Well, now this is a fine mess you've gotten us into. 1373 01:07:45,194 --> 01:07:46,662 She should be fired. 1374 01:07:46,762 --> 01:07:49,031 - Now hold on a second. - Mr. Mayor... 1375 01:07:49,131 --> 01:07:50,599 have you heard? 1376 01:07:50,699 --> 01:07:52,668 We were talking about the changes they want made. 1377 01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:56,475 That's not what I was talking about. I was talking about the sponsor. 1378 01:07:57,272 --> 01:07:59,174 - Sheldon Construction. - What? 1379 01:07:59,274 --> 01:08:00,743 That's right. 1380 01:08:00,843 --> 01:08:02,311 The same folks... 1381 01:08:02,411 --> 01:08:05,647 that built a dam to save Jasper and left us without a river. 1382 01:08:05,747 --> 01:08:07,750 She brought this mess here and she should be fired. 1383 01:08:07,850 --> 01:08:09,651 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring... 1384 01:08:09,751 --> 01:08:13,422 We don't care what the hell you meant. Do we? 1385 01:08:13,522 --> 01:08:15,023 - No. - I didn't think so. 1386 01:08:15,123 --> 01:08:17,159 You brought an awful situation here. 1387 01:08:17,259 --> 01:08:19,361 Get out of here and let us handle it. 1388 01:08:19,461 --> 01:08:21,764 - Go back to wherever you come from. - Now hold on. 1389 01:08:21,864 --> 01:08:23,671 You do not have to talk to her like that. 1390 01:08:24,333 --> 01:08:25,912 Mr. Mayor. 1391 01:08:26,835 --> 01:08:29,104 You fire her. Right now. 1392 01:08:29,204 --> 01:08:31,045 Do it. 1393 01:08:32,508 --> 01:08:36,146 - Lacey, I'm sorry. - There we go. 1394 01:08:38,146 --> 01:08:39,725 I understand. 1395 01:08:43,151 --> 01:08:45,521 You believe that? Sheldon. 1396 01:08:45,621 --> 01:08:47,530 This is a hell of a mess. 1397 01:08:57,766 --> 01:08:59,903 You all do your homework, okay? 1398 01:09:01,403 --> 01:09:04,677 And... be good for your new teacher. 1399 01:09:06,742 --> 01:09:08,321 Where are you going? 1400 01:09:10,746 --> 01:09:12,484 I made a mistake... 1401 01:09:13,615 --> 01:09:15,417 and now I have to leave. 1402 01:09:15,517 --> 01:09:19,394 No. I'll sing. I'll do the solo. 1403 01:09:20,055 --> 01:09:23,559 I don't think there's gonna be a Christmas Jubilee this year. 1404 01:09:23,659 --> 01:09:25,661 I don't want you to go. 1405 01:09:25,761 --> 01:09:28,063 Bailey, you are so special. 1406 01:09:28,163 --> 01:09:30,641 You always remember that. 1407 01:09:32,401 --> 01:09:34,837 - Okay? - Yes, ma'am. 1408 01:09:34,937 --> 01:09:36,516 You all are. 1409 01:09:38,807 --> 01:09:40,386 I'll see you. 1410 01:09:41,910 --> 01:09:44,547 - I'm so sorry. - It's fine. 1411 01:09:49,084 --> 01:09:50,754 Good job, boys. 1412 01:09:58,594 --> 01:10:00,562 I just got done telling Madea... 1413 01:10:00,662 --> 01:10:03,799 that you was in here all alone with Eileen, and she said that... 1414 01:10:03,899 --> 01:10:06,946 I said you was in here with the beast of the southern wild. 1415 01:10:08,503 --> 01:10:10,706 I tried. That woman is stubborn. 1416 01:10:10,806 --> 01:10:13,375 I tried. I asked her if I could help her cook. 1417 01:10:13,475 --> 01:10:14,943 Nothing, nothing, nothing. 1418 01:10:15,043 --> 01:10:16,945 Yeah, I know. She's difficult. 1419 01:10:17,045 --> 01:10:19,014 It's all right. She got a problem, but it's all right. 1420 01:10:19,114 --> 01:10:21,283 - Y'all want some lemonade? - No, I'm good. 1421 01:10:21,383 --> 01:10:23,018 - I'm good. Thank you. - There you are. 1422 01:10:23,118 --> 01:10:25,521 I've been worried about you. 1423 01:10:25,621 --> 01:10:28,590 You were out there with them for a while. 1424 01:10:28,690 --> 01:10:30,659 Yeah. I was conflicted. 1425 01:10:30,759 --> 01:10:35,397 I didn't know if I should look for you or watch the food. 1426 01:10:35,497 --> 01:10:38,100 I didn't let her near our food. 1427 01:10:39,034 --> 01:10:43,071 You whisper like a damn bullhorn. That woman ain't gonna hurt us. 1428 01:10:43,171 --> 01:10:45,140 We don't know that, do we? 1429 01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:46,875 What y'all talking about over there? 1430 01:10:46,975 --> 01:10:49,282 She just thinks y'all are tryin' to kill us. 1431 01:10:50,779 --> 01:10:52,281 - Tryin' to kill you? - Good heavens! 1432 01:10:52,381 --> 01:10:54,850 - You're nuts! - I've never hurt a flea or a fly. 1433 01:10:54,950 --> 01:10:56,919 I've seen her shoot a deer once though. 1434 01:10:57,019 --> 01:11:00,322 I never. I would never shoot little Bambi sipping water in a pond. 1435 01:11:00,422 --> 01:11:03,358 I'm just gonna ask y'all. I'm gonna put it out on the table. 1436 01:11:03,458 --> 01:11:04,826 - Be honest. - What is it? 1437 01:11:04,926 --> 01:11:06,664 Y'all in the Ku Klux Klan? 1438 01:11:07,462 --> 01:11:09,431 - That's what she wanna know. - Get outta here! 1439 01:11:09,531 --> 01:11:11,500 Heavens no. Why would she... 1440 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:14,369 - Buddy, the other night with the sheet. - Oh, with the sheet! 1441 01:11:14,469 --> 01:11:15,971 Yes! Explain that. 1442 01:11:16,071 --> 01:11:18,040 We used to play this game, all right? 1443 01:11:18,140 --> 01:11:20,042 Buddy and I, when we were young, he would... 1444 01:11:20,142 --> 01:11:22,778 It was called the Ghost and the Damsel. 1445 01:11:22,878 --> 01:11:24,846 And he would blindfold me. 1446 01:11:24,946 --> 01:11:27,416 Then he'd put a sheet above himself... 1447 01:11:27,516 --> 01:11:29,551 and then I would have to search about... 1448 01:11:29,651 --> 01:11:31,687 and capture the rapture, if you know what I mean. 1449 01:11:31,787 --> 01:11:33,355 Mama! 1450 01:11:33,455 --> 01:11:34,957 I am sorry, Conner. 1451 01:11:35,057 --> 01:11:37,326 - That's just nasty. - Sorry, Son. 1452 01:11:37,426 --> 01:11:39,561 - But I like it. - I know. 1453 01:11:39,661 --> 01:11:42,030 It can be fun. It can be. 1454 01:11:42,130 --> 01:11:44,967 That is so inappropriate. 1455 01:11:45,067 --> 01:11:48,637 You two need to learn how to respect my daughter's house. 1456 01:11:49,504 --> 01:11:52,274 - Eileen, you might wanna let that go. - No. 1457 01:11:52,374 --> 01:11:54,443 They come in here taking advantage of her... 1458 01:11:54,543 --> 01:11:57,946 eating her food, and they're acting like they own the place. 1459 01:11:58,046 --> 01:12:00,215 - I don't like it. - You need to let that go. 1460 01:12:00,315 --> 01:12:02,918 Well, I don't like... 1461 01:12:03,018 --> 01:12:05,187 - Mama... - that you... 1462 01:12:05,287 --> 01:12:06,755 Mama, sit down. 1463 01:12:06,855 --> 01:12:09,391 You cut down my family's memory tree. 1464 01:12:09,491 --> 01:12:11,460 That's what I don't like. 1465 01:12:11,560 --> 01:12:13,061 Excuse me? 1466 01:12:13,161 --> 01:12:16,164 I can deal with a lot of things. They know it. 1467 01:12:16,264 --> 01:12:18,700 But this is downright wrong... 1468 01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:21,744 and now I am getting very upset! 1469 01:12:22,504 --> 01:12:25,741 Why would you plant his memory tree on my daughter's land... 1470 01:12:25,841 --> 01:12:27,809 and how was I supposed to know that? 1471 01:12:27,909 --> 01:12:29,878 Oh, I don't know. 1472 01:12:29,978 --> 01:12:32,981 Maybe because it had a yellow ribbon around it? 1473 01:12:33,081 --> 01:12:34,683 That doesn't mean anything. 1474 01:12:34,783 --> 01:12:38,220 In most countries, in most places, to sane-thinking people... 1475 01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:40,989 a yellow ribbon means something. 1476 01:12:41,089 --> 01:12:45,060 Now you just calm down, missy. Okay? 1477 01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:49,164 Now, Lacey, are you gonna let her talk to me like this? 1478 01:12:49,264 --> 01:12:51,166 - Mama, calm down. - Put your finger down... 1479 01:12:51,266 --> 01:12:53,505 or I will cut it off and deep-fry it! 1480 01:12:54,803 --> 01:12:57,339 You need to leave my daughter's house. 1481 01:12:57,439 --> 01:12:59,307 - Mama, stop it! Stop! - No! 1482 01:12:59,407 --> 01:13:01,276 Eileen, you need to stop right now, honey. 1483 01:13:01,376 --> 01:13:04,212 What are they doing here anyway? Tomorrow is Christmas! 1484 01:13:04,312 --> 01:13:05,847 They are not your family! 1485 01:13:05,947 --> 01:13:08,183 - Let's get out of here. - No, hold up. 1486 01:13:08,283 --> 01:13:10,585 Come on back here. Ain't nobody going nowhere. 1487 01:13:10,685 --> 01:13:13,321 - Now, Madea... - Ain't nobody goin' no damn where. 1488 01:13:13,421 --> 01:13:15,390 Madea, whose side are you on? 1489 01:13:15,490 --> 01:13:17,859 - Let 'em leave. - No, I'm on the side of right. 1490 01:13:17,959 --> 01:13:20,062 - That's the side I'm on. Lacey? - Yes. 1491 01:13:20,162 --> 01:13:23,165 - Tell your mama. - What? Tell me what? 1492 01:13:23,265 --> 01:13:26,505 Spit it out before I punch you, put your teeth down your throat! 1493 01:13:29,037 --> 01:13:31,981 Mama... Conner and I are married. 1494 01:13:36,077 --> 01:13:38,487 - Catch her. - Get the defibrillator. 1495 01:13:43,685 --> 01:13:46,231 Lacey. Your father. 1496 01:13:47,189 --> 01:13:50,192 I know, Mama. I know he was murdered by a white man, but... 1497 01:13:50,292 --> 01:13:51,793 - What happened? - What? 1498 01:13:51,893 --> 01:13:55,163 My father was killed by a white man on Christmas Eve... 1499 01:13:55,263 --> 01:13:57,065 trying to protect my mother's honor. 1500 01:13:57,165 --> 01:13:59,167 - That's awful. - Good Lord. 1501 01:13:59,267 --> 01:14:02,270 - Who told you that? - Mama. 1502 01:14:02,370 --> 01:14:05,540 Eileen, you oughta be ashamed... Child, that's some straight-up bull... 1503 01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:07,048 Madea! 1504 01:14:07,642 --> 01:14:10,222 Your daddy wasn't killed by no white man. 1505 01:14:10,812 --> 01:14:13,181 He left your mama for a white woman when you was two... 1506 01:14:13,281 --> 01:14:15,617 and your mama has been bitter with white people ever since. 1507 01:14:15,717 --> 01:14:17,185 - What? - Yes, years ago. 1508 01:14:17,285 --> 01:14:21,590 Ran off and joined the circus. And now they on Glee, 1509 01:14:21,690 --> 01:14:23,158 Good show. 1510 01:14:23,258 --> 01:14:26,100 Glee? Mama, is this true? 1511 01:14:27,028 --> 01:14:28,697 Mama! 1512 01:14:28,797 --> 01:14:34,436 Lacey, I am so disappointed in you. 1513 01:14:34,536 --> 01:14:36,912 Look at her trying to turn it around on you. 1514 01:14:37,906 --> 01:14:39,485 Girl, please. 1515 01:14:44,246 --> 01:14:46,053 You're disappointed in me? 1516 01:14:46,815 --> 01:14:49,050 Well, that went well. 1517 01:14:49,150 --> 01:14:51,457 At least she didn't have another heart attack. 1518 01:14:53,088 --> 01:14:55,157 - Another one? - Yeah, Madea. 1519 01:14:55,257 --> 01:14:58,160 Didn't you know that my mother had a heart attack last year? 1520 01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:00,395 Your mama lied to you. She had gas. 1521 01:15:00,495 --> 01:15:03,331 Got to the doctor, she was clutching her heart and the pearls. 1522 01:15:03,431 --> 01:15:05,734 Got there, doctor say it's gas. 1523 01:15:05,834 --> 01:15:09,337 - Wait, what? - They put one of them rods up there. 1524 01:15:09,437 --> 01:15:12,307 Came flowing out like the River Jordan and that was it. It was all over. 1525 01:15:12,407 --> 01:15:13,875 I had that once too. 1526 01:15:13,975 --> 01:15:16,478 Put it in there, come out sounding like brakes coming out of... 1527 01:15:16,578 --> 01:15:18,988 The air pressure coming out of one of them big rigs. 1528 01:15:20,015 --> 01:15:22,250 There it is. Then they tell her she had heartburn. 1529 01:15:22,350 --> 01:15:25,086 - She didn't have no heart attack. - She had heartburn? 1530 01:15:25,186 --> 01:15:27,823 She needs some of that Prilosec OTC. 1531 01:15:29,257 --> 01:15:31,927 She been manipulating you. She as healthy as an ox. 1532 01:15:32,027 --> 01:15:34,129 Well, that woman's a pretty pissed off ox. 1533 01:15:35,030 --> 01:15:36,609 Don't get behind her. 1534 01:15:37,999 --> 01:15:41,002 Don't light a match. Don't get her next to an open flame. 1535 01:15:41,102 --> 01:15:42,571 We'll all have burnt heads. 1536 01:15:42,671 --> 01:15:45,342 Yeah, her farts can spell her name, they so bad. 1537 01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:51,681 - Mama, he got her fired. - That's all right. I'm upset too. 1538 01:15:52,280 --> 01:15:54,951 We should go, boy. We got work to do. 1539 01:15:57,886 --> 01:16:00,088 Why'd you do that to Mrs. Williams? 1540 01:16:00,188 --> 01:16:03,158 You know, she's a nice lady. Why'd you get her fired? 1541 01:16:03,258 --> 01:16:05,293 You don't know what's going on here, Bailey. 1542 01:16:05,393 --> 01:16:07,896 I know you don't like people 'cause of the way they look. 1543 01:16:07,996 --> 01:16:10,940 That ain't right! That's what kids do to me at school! 1544 01:16:11,700 --> 01:16:15,509 It ain't fair. She's nice to me. 1545 01:16:16,871 --> 01:16:18,707 Don't you ever... 1546 01:16:18,807 --> 01:16:20,775 talk to me like that again. 1547 01:16:20,875 --> 01:16:22,644 You hear me? 1548 01:16:22,744 --> 01:16:24,824 Get out on that plow. 1549 01:16:30,452 --> 01:16:32,420 He is right, and you know it. 1550 01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:34,422 She made a deal with the devil. 1551 01:16:34,522 --> 01:16:37,359 No, you're actin' more like the devil than she is. 1552 01:16:37,459 --> 01:16:39,539 And this is Christmas, Tanner. 1553 01:16:50,839 --> 01:16:54,242 This child still sitting out there. That's just crazy as hell. 1554 01:16:54,342 --> 01:16:55,810 Where y'all going? 1555 01:16:55,910 --> 01:16:57,679 Well, Miss Media, we're gonna bring her... 1556 01:16:57,779 --> 01:16:59,247 My name is Madea, honey. 1557 01:16:59,347 --> 01:17:00,815 - Madea. - Thank you. 1558 01:17:00,915 --> 01:17:03,418 We're gonna bring her hot chocolate to warm her hard, hard heart. 1559 01:17:03,518 --> 01:17:05,757 Hot chocolate does wonders. It's delicious. 1560 01:17:06,421 --> 01:17:09,291 That's what got y'all in trouble, the hot chocolate. 1561 01:17:09,391 --> 01:17:11,493 Your son with the hot chocolate. 1562 01:17:11,593 --> 01:17:13,561 I'm telling you. Let me explain something to you. 1563 01:17:13,661 --> 01:17:15,463 Let me make this clear to y'all. 1564 01:17:15,563 --> 01:17:17,532 Leave her out there. She is grown, sitting there. 1565 01:17:17,632 --> 01:17:20,602 If she want to come in the house, she know how to get in. Leave her alone. 1566 01:17:20,702 --> 01:17:23,438 We're gonna go out and try. We'll talk to her a bit. 1567 01:17:23,538 --> 01:17:25,006 Go on. Go on. 1568 01:17:25,106 --> 01:17:27,042 Okay. You better wear a cup. 1569 01:17:27,142 --> 01:17:28,721 That's comforting. 1570 01:17:35,683 --> 01:17:37,786 Boy, this is something else, isn't it? It's freezing. 1571 01:17:37,886 --> 01:17:39,888 Remember, Buddy, kill her with kindness. 1572 01:17:39,988 --> 01:17:41,957 My weenie is an inny right now. 1573 01:17:42,057 --> 01:17:45,593 Try to have as much charm with your voice as you do with your weenie. 1574 01:17:45,693 --> 01:17:48,396 Well, tell you what. I ain't used to this cold weather. 1575 01:17:48,496 --> 01:17:50,632 I know. All right? 1576 01:17:50,732 --> 01:17:52,701 I'm gonna have to wipe with an ice scraper tonight. 1577 01:17:52,801 --> 01:17:55,103 Smile's all in patience. Ask the Lord. 1578 01:17:55,203 --> 01:17:57,305 Lord, help us. The Serenity Prayer. 1579 01:17:57,405 --> 01:18:01,176 There ain't no cabs out here. You wanna come back in the house? 1580 01:18:01,276 --> 01:18:02,811 I'm fine right here. 1581 01:18:02,911 --> 01:18:05,389 I made you some pipin' hot chocolate. 1582 01:18:06,047 --> 01:18:08,917 Thank you. I don't want any chocolate. 1583 01:18:09,017 --> 01:18:10,755 My son likes chocolate. 1584 01:18:12,420 --> 01:18:15,256 Go ahead and laugh. This is awful. 1585 01:18:15,356 --> 01:18:18,093 What's so awful about it? 1586 01:18:18,193 --> 01:18:21,796 What world are you living in? They are asking for trouble. 1587 01:18:21,896 --> 01:18:23,331 Eileen, I... 1588 01:18:23,431 --> 01:18:25,600 Mrs. Murphy to you. 1589 01:18:25,700 --> 01:18:28,670 Miss Murphy, you can take a knife and cut all three of us right now. 1590 01:18:28,770 --> 01:18:30,739 You know what's gonna happen? We're gonna bleed red. 1591 01:18:30,839 --> 01:18:33,241 Blood red. We're all the same inside. 1592 01:18:33,341 --> 01:18:35,010 That's true. 1593 01:18:35,110 --> 01:18:38,384 Mrs. Murphy, if I may... 1594 01:18:39,380 --> 01:18:43,451 our children, no matter what we think, they will live their own lives. 1595 01:18:44,552 --> 01:18:47,155 - The world is changing. - Not that much. 1596 01:18:47,255 --> 01:18:50,859 It is changing, and that is a good thing. 1597 01:18:50,959 --> 01:18:54,696 Every generation sees a little less division... 1598 01:18:54,796 --> 01:18:59,902 and a little more open minds and open hearts. 1599 01:19:01,035 --> 01:19:04,005 I think we should be happy and proud... 1600 01:19:04,105 --> 01:19:06,541 that our kids, our children... 1601 01:19:06,641 --> 01:19:10,245 see people as people. 1602 01:19:10,812 --> 01:19:12,147 That was beautiful. 1603 01:19:12,247 --> 01:19:14,315 - That was unbelievable. - Thank you. I mean it. 1604 01:19:14,415 --> 01:19:17,085 Come in the house and get to know us. We're good folks. 1605 01:19:17,185 --> 01:19:20,021 I know damn well you hear me calling you. Eileen! 1606 01:19:20,121 --> 01:19:21,856 Traitor! 1607 01:19:21,956 --> 01:19:23,892 - Satan! - Judas! 1608 01:19:23,992 --> 01:19:25,593 Beelzebub! 1609 01:19:25,693 --> 01:19:27,195 Come in. It is cold. 1610 01:19:27,295 --> 01:19:29,898 You got these people out here trying to tempt you back in the house... 1611 01:19:29,998 --> 01:19:33,068 like a wet cat on a cold Sunday morning who needs some milk. 1612 01:19:33,168 --> 01:19:34,803 Come in the house. You're out here freezing. 1613 01:19:34,903 --> 01:19:38,306 Your ankles is whiter than snow. Look like you been kicking flour. 1614 01:19:38,406 --> 01:19:40,747 My gosh, they are white. Look, we are related. 1615 01:19:41,676 --> 01:19:45,080 I will not step into that house of lies. 1616 01:19:45,180 --> 01:19:47,816 The girl is married. You can't control every minute of her life. 1617 01:19:47,916 --> 01:19:49,651 Do you understand? It is Christmas. 1618 01:19:49,751 --> 01:19:53,221 Give this child the gift of being able to do whatever she want to do. 1619 01:19:53,321 --> 01:19:56,391 You can't run her life for her. Do you understand that? 1620 01:19:56,491 --> 01:19:59,060 Ain't no cab comin'. You gonna be sitting out here freezin'. 1621 01:19:59,160 --> 01:20:02,030 We gonna come out here tomorrow, you gonna be a black Statue of Liberty... 1622 01:20:02,130 --> 01:20:03,765 just sitting down on your ass. 1623 01:20:03,865 --> 01:20:06,101 Come on in the house! You know what? That's fine. 1624 01:20:06,201 --> 01:20:08,203 You don't want to come in 'cause you mad about something? 1625 01:20:08,303 --> 01:20:10,305 You can't get everything your way. 1626 01:20:10,405 --> 01:20:13,575 You ever woke up on Christmas morning and didn't get the gift you wanted? 1627 01:20:13,675 --> 01:20:16,811 This is it. You didn't get the gift you wanted. Bring your ass in the house. 1628 01:20:16,911 --> 01:20:19,147 Y'all wastin' your time, 'cause she stubborn as a mule. 1629 01:20:19,247 --> 01:20:22,484 I'm going in. You wanna sit out here and freeze, sit your ass out here... 1630 01:20:22,584 --> 01:20:24,886 sit your ass out here and freeze! 1631 01:20:24,986 --> 01:20:27,122 Sit there as long as you want. I don't give a damn. 1632 01:20:27,222 --> 01:20:29,190 Sit there and turn into a damn Popsicle! 1633 01:20:29,290 --> 01:20:32,327 Freeze all the hell you want. You done lost your damn mind! 1634 01:20:32,427 --> 01:20:33,835 Amen. 1635 01:20:37,565 --> 01:20:40,969 Come on inside. You'll freeze to death. Ain't no cab coming. 1636 01:20:41,069 --> 01:20:43,371 - I can't believe that. - We tried our best. 1637 01:20:43,471 --> 01:20:45,507 Let's go in and play charades with Madea. 1638 01:20:45,607 --> 01:20:47,687 Then I will walk to town. 1639 01:20:48,810 --> 01:20:51,151 And I'll take the Greyhound bus. 1640 01:20:56,584 --> 01:21:00,063 I don't need none of them. Not one of them. 1641 01:21:05,126 --> 01:21:06,534 Hey. 1642 01:21:08,463 --> 01:21:10,999 Your mama's still out in the cold. You may want to talk to her. 1643 01:21:11,099 --> 01:21:14,002 - She doesn't want to talk to me. - You sure about that? 1644 01:21:14,102 --> 01:21:15,737 I know my mother. 1645 01:21:15,837 --> 01:21:18,373 Apparently you don't know her as well as you think. 1646 01:21:18,473 --> 01:21:20,441 And what's that supposed to mean? 1647 01:21:20,541 --> 01:21:24,012 She's been manipulating you your entire life. 1648 01:21:24,112 --> 01:21:28,016 She lied to you about your daddy and about her heart attacks. 1649 01:21:28,116 --> 01:21:29,584 It's just not right. 1650 01:21:29,684 --> 01:21:31,586 Can you stop talking about my mother now? 1651 01:21:31,686 --> 01:21:34,889 I'm not talkin' about your mother. I'm just statin' the obvious. 1652 01:21:34,989 --> 01:21:36,791 I'm not trying to attack you or her. 1653 01:21:36,891 --> 01:21:39,027 Good, because I've been attacked enough today. 1654 01:21:39,127 --> 01:21:43,464 Between my mother and my job and... It's just all a bit much. 1655 01:21:43,564 --> 01:21:46,167 And everybody's mad at me because of the sponsor... 1656 01:21:46,267 --> 01:21:49,007 I didn't know it was from Sheldon Construction Company. 1657 01:21:49,704 --> 01:21:51,784 Tanner McCoy. Yeah, okay. 1658 01:21:52,707 --> 01:21:55,048 - What about Tanner? - Nothing. 1659 01:21:55,843 --> 01:21:58,219 - Baby. - I said "nothing." 1660 01:21:59,314 --> 01:22:01,394 What did Tanner do? 1661 01:22:02,750 --> 01:22:06,388 He was so nasty. And then he got me fired. 1662 01:22:09,223 --> 01:22:11,360 - Conner. - Son of a bitch. 1663 01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:14,562 Conner, where are you going? 1664 01:22:14,662 --> 01:22:17,398 - Hey, what's going on? - I mentioned Tanner and he lost it. 1665 01:22:17,498 --> 01:22:19,968 - Conner! - I've been waiting to see this. 1666 01:22:20,068 --> 01:22:22,070 - I'm goin' with you, boy. - Conner! 1667 01:22:29,270 --> 01:22:30,604 Conner! 1668 01:22:40,188 --> 01:22:44,092 Hot dog, it's cold out here. It's all right. It's all right then. 1669 01:22:44,192 --> 01:22:45,600 Help! 1670 01:22:48,996 --> 01:22:53,434 What in the... Oh, Jesus, no, you don't. 1671 01:22:53,534 --> 01:22:57,805 - Hey. - Someone there? Hello? 1672 01:22:57,905 --> 01:22:59,609 I'm here. 1673 01:23:02,143 --> 01:23:03,722 I can't move. 1674 01:23:05,880 --> 01:23:08,017 All right now. We gotta get outta here. Come on. 1675 01:23:09,517 --> 01:23:10,985 - I'm stuck. - Can you move your... 1676 01:23:11,085 --> 01:23:12,630 My leg's caught. 1677 01:23:13,821 --> 01:23:15,400 I don't wanna die. 1678 01:23:16,023 --> 01:23:18,103 - Nobody's gonna die. - I have a little boy. 1679 01:23:20,495 --> 01:23:21,573 Push. 1680 01:23:23,564 --> 01:23:25,400 I got you. 1681 01:23:25,500 --> 01:23:27,602 Got it. 1682 01:23:29,036 --> 01:23:30,706 Go ahead. 1683 01:23:33,508 --> 01:23:35,087 I got you. 1684 01:23:58,299 --> 01:24:01,608 You're good. How are your legs? Okay. 1685 01:24:03,704 --> 01:24:05,173 - How's your head? - All right. 1686 01:24:05,273 --> 01:24:08,115 All right. Get up. Get up. 1687 01:24:09,944 --> 01:24:12,024 Help. Help. 1688 01:24:13,815 --> 01:24:16,361 Get off my mother-in-law, you son of a bitch! 1689 01:24:17,618 --> 01:24:20,221 - Hey! Don't hurt him! Stop it! - Leave him be! 1690 01:24:20,321 --> 01:24:21,856 Come on! 1691 01:24:21,956 --> 01:24:25,393 Don't you ever, ever say a word to my wife again. You understand me? 1692 01:24:25,493 --> 01:24:28,196 - What did he say about Lacey? - Get in the truck. 1693 01:24:28,296 --> 01:24:30,198 I will not step foot back in that house! 1694 01:24:30,298 --> 01:24:32,266 I am not in the mood for your foolishness. 1695 01:24:32,366 --> 01:24:34,070 Now get your ass in that truck! 1696 01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:38,139 Now I'm plantin' corn... 1697 01:24:38,239 --> 01:24:41,582 and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. 1698 01:24:52,687 --> 01:24:54,266 Get out of here. 1699 01:25:09,103 --> 01:25:11,005 Babe, I wish you wouldn't have done that. 1700 01:25:11,105 --> 01:25:12,407 It had to be done. 1701 01:25:12,507 --> 01:25:15,410 Nothing stops somebody like him from bullying people except pushing back. 1702 01:25:15,510 --> 01:25:19,147 That's right. That kid's been a terror to Conner since he was a little boy. 1703 01:25:19,247 --> 01:25:22,016 I'm glad you done what you did, Son. I'm proud of you. 1704 01:25:22,116 --> 01:25:24,719 Stood up for himself, and that's a good thing. 1705 01:25:24,819 --> 01:25:26,421 I'm with you, Lacey. I don't like it. 1706 01:25:26,521 --> 01:25:28,489 I just wanna tell you all how sorry I am. 1707 01:25:28,589 --> 01:25:30,925 I should have told my mom from the beginning. 1708 01:25:31,025 --> 01:25:33,528 That is the truth. You should've told her. 1709 01:25:33,628 --> 01:25:36,464 We have met your mama and we understand. 1710 01:25:36,564 --> 01:25:38,533 She crazy as hell. Didn't I tell you? 1711 01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:40,770 - She's cuckoo. - That's right. 1712 01:25:41,736 --> 01:25:44,038 I don't like you all talking about me. 1713 01:25:44,138 --> 01:25:45,773 No, Mrs. Murphy, I'm sorry. 1714 01:25:45,873 --> 01:25:48,609 We were just saying that God makes everyone different... 1715 01:25:48,709 --> 01:25:51,790 and you are a gem in God's ring. 1716 01:25:54,649 --> 01:25:57,151 And I don't like the way you spoke to me. 1717 01:25:57,251 --> 01:25:59,954 Well, I'm sorry. I was angry. 1718 01:26:00,054 --> 01:26:04,225 - What did you say? - He told her to get her ass in the truck. 1719 01:26:04,325 --> 01:26:07,565 - And what did you do? - She got her ass in the truck. 1720 01:26:09,030 --> 01:26:10,765 Go ahead and laugh. 1721 01:26:10,865 --> 01:26:13,000 Hold on, Eileen. Y'all need to let all this go. 1722 01:26:13,100 --> 01:26:16,070 You lied. She done lie. Everybody lied. Here a lie, there a lie. 1723 01:26:16,170 --> 01:26:19,073 It's Christmas now. You need to go down there and buy her a tree. 1724 01:26:19,173 --> 01:26:21,642 And plant it in the backyard. Get her a ribbon. 1725 01:26:21,742 --> 01:26:23,211 - A yellow one. - I'm sorry. 1726 01:26:23,311 --> 01:26:26,113 I just wanted to give my daughter a proper wedding. 1727 01:26:26,213 --> 01:26:28,649 Mama, you've always been overbearing. 1728 01:26:28,749 --> 01:26:31,619 I did it for me. Not for you. 1729 01:26:31,719 --> 01:26:34,555 I love you, and I'm sorry... 1730 01:26:34,655 --> 01:26:36,824 that I didn't tell you, but this is my life. 1731 01:26:36,924 --> 01:26:40,528 And he loves me, and he treats me oh so well. 1732 01:26:40,628 --> 01:26:43,764 I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to get hurt. 1733 01:26:43,864 --> 01:26:47,502 Mama, he's not gonna hurt me. He's as gentle as a lamb. 1734 01:26:49,236 --> 01:26:52,249 No, he's not. He beat that man down to the ground. 1735 01:26:52,707 --> 01:26:55,977 Come on. That guy had it comin', and everybody knows it. 1736 01:26:56,077 --> 01:26:58,987 Well, he did say he was protecting you. 1737 01:26:59,580 --> 01:27:01,549 I love your daughter, Miss Murphy. 1738 01:27:01,649 --> 01:27:04,785 I'll never let anything happen to her. I promise. 1739 01:27:04,885 --> 01:27:06,521 That makes two of us. 1740 01:27:06,621 --> 01:27:11,830 Okay. Well, this is all new to me. I don't know, but... I'll try. 1741 01:27:15,229 --> 01:27:17,665 Nothing beats a failure but a try. 1742 01:27:17,765 --> 01:27:20,601 - Now we're making some progress. - Yeah. 1743 01:27:20,701 --> 01:27:22,439 A try's a try, right? 1744 01:27:24,572 --> 01:27:28,042 Oh, boy. That's Tanner. That's trouble. 1745 01:27:28,142 --> 01:27:30,244 He's still got it. I knew you got it in you. 1746 01:27:30,344 --> 01:27:31,787 - Now, don't. - Baby... 1747 01:27:32,813 --> 01:27:36,651 You get off my property, Tanner McCoy, before I knock you on your ass again. 1748 01:27:36,751 --> 01:27:39,253 - Give him a chance. - He's just coming here to start trouble. 1749 01:27:39,353 --> 01:27:43,162 - No, he's not. - I want to apologize. 1750 01:27:43,891 --> 01:27:46,460 - What? - I want to... 1751 01:27:46,560 --> 01:27:48,469 say thank you. 1752 01:27:49,463 --> 01:27:51,873 - I'm sorry. I didn't get your name. - Eileen. 1753 01:27:52,400 --> 01:27:54,502 Miss Eileen. 1754 01:27:54,602 --> 01:27:58,706 He told me what you did for him. So... thank you. 1755 01:27:58,806 --> 01:28:01,284 Oh, thank you! 1756 01:28:03,611 --> 01:28:05,413 He really is a good man. 1757 01:28:05,513 --> 01:28:07,481 He's just been so troubled... 1758 01:28:07,581 --> 01:28:09,820 with all that's been going on with the dam. 1759 01:28:13,220 --> 01:28:14,799 Thank you. 1760 01:28:20,327 --> 01:28:22,563 Tanner, I've been working on a new strain of corn... 1761 01:28:22,663 --> 01:28:24,465 that doesn't need as much water. 1762 01:28:24,565 --> 01:28:27,077 I could use your help with it. 1763 01:28:29,570 --> 01:28:31,775 Yeah. I'd be glad to. 1764 01:28:38,512 --> 01:28:40,881 I'm sorry I wanted to get you fired. 1765 01:28:40,981 --> 01:28:43,718 I'm gonna talk to the mayor tomorrow. Promise. 1766 01:28:43,818 --> 01:28:45,786 I'm sure he's still very upset. 1767 01:28:45,886 --> 01:28:49,624 Having to choose between going on with Jubilee or getting sued... 1768 01:28:49,724 --> 01:28:51,459 is pretty crazy. 1769 01:28:51,559 --> 01:28:54,462 The town's going on with it, but we're not happy... 1770 01:28:54,562 --> 01:28:58,466 about not being able to say Jesus or celebrate his birth. 1771 01:28:58,566 --> 01:29:00,468 You know, Bailey's been practicing... 1772 01:29:00,568 --> 01:29:03,148 and all the kids are really sad. 1773 01:29:04,138 --> 01:29:07,515 Yeah, I've been thinking about that, and I have an idea. 1774 01:29:08,776 --> 01:29:11,278 Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells 1775 01:29:11,378 --> 01:29:13,347 Jingle all the way 1776 01:29:13,447 --> 01:29:16,084 - We are live... - Look at all the news vans. 1777 01:29:17,752 --> 01:29:20,521 This old town has never had this much attention. 1778 01:29:20,621 --> 01:29:23,290 Well, since the whorehouse closed down in 1970. 1779 01:29:23,390 --> 01:29:26,460 - That was a sad day. - What do you think about the celebration? 1780 01:29:26,560 --> 01:29:29,630 Well, I say Christmas is about Jesus. 1781 01:29:29,730 --> 01:29:33,334 I ran down here. I ran for my life! 1782 01:29:33,434 --> 01:29:35,469 'Cause I was gonna start a fire. 1783 01:29:35,569 --> 01:29:37,371 "O Lord Jesus is a fire." 1784 01:29:37,471 --> 01:29:39,106 Ain't nobody got time for that. 1785 01:29:39,206 --> 01:29:41,442 - Hell no. - Hold on there. 1786 01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:44,211 - We need to shut this down. - Just wait a sec. 1787 01:29:44,311 --> 01:29:46,013 See what she's got to say. 1788 01:29:46,113 --> 01:29:48,449 I told them to hide the kids, hide they wife... 1789 01:29:48,549 --> 01:29:51,352 and hide they Santa Claus, 'cause it's crazy around here. 1790 01:29:51,452 --> 01:29:53,421 Thank you so much. This is lovely. 1791 01:29:53,521 --> 01:29:56,157 I got a candy apple. Where y'all went? 1792 01:29:56,257 --> 01:29:58,997 Merry Christmas. How you doing? Where y'all went? 1793 01:30:00,261 --> 01:30:02,797 There they is, over there. Hey, Oliver, how ya doin'? 1794 01:30:02,897 --> 01:30:05,534 Good to see you. Good to see you. All right, all right. 1795 01:30:06,634 --> 01:30:10,477 Listen, listen, we have a contract. You see those people over there? 1796 01:30:11,138 --> 01:30:12,979 They are very powerful. 1797 01:30:13,741 --> 01:30:16,210 You have to take down the nativity. 1798 01:30:16,310 --> 01:30:17,889 Okay, that's it. 1799 01:30:18,479 --> 01:30:20,915 May I have everyone's attention? 1800 01:30:21,015 --> 01:30:22,316 What is she doing? 1801 01:30:22,416 --> 01:30:24,051 Hello, Bucktussle. 1802 01:30:24,151 --> 01:30:26,854 I want to thank you all for coming out to the Christmas Jubilee. 1803 01:30:26,954 --> 01:30:29,990 - Look at your daughter. - Isn't she beautiful? 1804 01:30:30,090 --> 01:30:32,059 I'd also like to thank Sheldon Construction Company... 1805 01:30:32,159 --> 01:30:34,671 for sponsoring this Christmas celebration. 1806 01:30:38,032 --> 01:30:41,769 Christmas is about giving back, and with all the world watching... 1807 01:30:41,869 --> 01:30:45,873 not only did Sheldon Construction Company fund this event... 1808 01:30:45,973 --> 01:30:47,942 but they've also agreed to release... 1809 01:30:48,042 --> 01:30:52,648 150,000 gallons of water a day down the river to the farmers. 1810 01:30:54,148 --> 01:30:55,556 Thank you. 1811 01:31:00,988 --> 01:31:03,568 - What are you doing? - Giving goodwill towards men. 1812 01:31:04,158 --> 01:31:06,594 - Thank you, Mr. Sheldon. - She's smart. 1813 01:31:06,694 --> 01:31:09,597 - I told you. - Aren't you glad you didn't do anything? 1814 01:31:09,697 --> 01:31:11,098 - You care about getting back... - Yeah. 1815 01:31:11,198 --> 01:31:13,367 To the heart of who we are as people. 1816 01:31:13,467 --> 01:31:17,037 You are so proud to be a part of a town... 1817 01:31:17,137 --> 01:31:19,340 that doesn't mind keeping the Christ in Christmas... 1818 01:31:19,440 --> 01:31:22,109 so much so, that they are presenting the McCoy School... 1819 01:31:22,209 --> 01:31:26,724 with $100,000 a year for the next four years. 1820 01:31:34,855 --> 01:31:37,091 - Yeah! Yes! - Yes, yes! 1821 01:31:37,191 --> 01:31:40,728 Such a fantastic Christmas gift to the city, sir. 1822 01:31:40,828 --> 01:31:43,731 - Can you give us a comment? - So without further ado... 1823 01:31:43,831 --> 01:31:45,933 let the Christmas Jubilee begin. 1824 01:31:46,033 --> 01:31:47,612 Come on. 1825 01:31:50,905 --> 01:31:54,976 Well, hello, Bucktussle, and welcome... 1826 01:31:55,743 --> 01:31:58,449 welcome to the Christmas Jubilee and Fair. 1827 01:31:59,246 --> 01:32:01,148 The children of McCoy School... 1828 01:32:01,248 --> 01:32:04,018 have put together a little presentation for us all... 1829 01:32:04,118 --> 01:32:06,921 and this has all been under the direction of their current teacher... 1830 01:32:07,021 --> 01:32:08,989 May be wrong for that. 1831 01:32:09,089 --> 01:32:11,058 I am so proud of the kids. 1832 01:32:11,158 --> 01:32:12,593 Mrs. Lacey Williams. 1833 01:32:12,693 --> 01:32:15,663 - Did she say, "Mrs. Lacey Williams"? - It was all her idea. 1834 01:32:15,763 --> 01:32:19,333 - Yep, she did. - So, thank you, Lacey, for everything. 1835 01:32:19,433 --> 01:32:25,146 And now the children of McCoy School, featuring Bailey McCoy. 1836 01:32:26,874 --> 01:32:28,753 That's my boy! 1837 01:32:31,378 --> 01:32:35,716 Mary, did you know 1838 01:32:35,816 --> 01:32:39,320 That your baby boy 1839 01:32:39,420 --> 01:32:43,791 Would give sight to the blind man? 1840 01:32:43,891 --> 01:32:48,162 Mary, did you know 1841 01:32:48,262 --> 01:32:50,998 - That your baby boy - Hey, baby. 1842 01:32:51,098 --> 01:32:52,566 - Let's go. - Let's go. 1843 01:32:52,666 --> 01:32:57,238 Would calm a storm with his hand? 1844 01:32:57,338 --> 01:33:00,241 Did you know 1845 01:33:00,341 --> 01:33:03,878 That your baby boy 1846 01:33:03,978 --> 01:33:09,350 Has walked where angels trod 1847 01:33:09,450 --> 01:33:15,489 And when you kiss your little baby 1848 01:33:15,589 --> 01:33:21,262 You have kissed the face of God? 1849 01:33:21,362 --> 01:33:25,569 Mary, did you 1850 01:33:26,233 --> 01:33:30,804 Know? 1851 01:33:57,331 --> 01:33:59,400 You don't need to have no lingerie on. 1852 01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:03,437 Eileen, tell him we've been shopping at Tifton's for over 15 years. 1853 01:34:03,537 --> 01:34:05,706 Yes, okay. I'm gonna help her. 1854 01:34:05,806 --> 01:34:07,541 Okay, go help her. Fifteen years. 1855 01:34:07,641 --> 01:34:10,177 Well, 15 years ago maybe that lingerie worked. 1856 01:34:10,277 --> 01:34:12,112 But now the lingerie don't work, honey. 1857 01:34:12,212 --> 01:34:13,681 You are so insulting! 1858 01:34:13,781 --> 01:34:15,749 I am not insulting. I am telling you the truth. 1859 01:34:15,849 --> 01:34:17,484 You shouldn't have on no damn lingerie. 1860 01:34:17,584 --> 01:34:19,286 I'm trying to save you some embarrassment. 1861 01:34:19,386 --> 01:34:22,122 Put on that damn lingerie, look like you got hair damage on your ass. 1862 01:34:22,222 --> 01:34:26,327 I mean, come on now. Come on, honey. I'm trying to help y'all. 1863 01:34:26,427 --> 01:34:28,929 - Is this good? - There you go trying to control everything. 1864 01:34:29,029 --> 01:34:31,231 - I am not trying to... - Let me get the lines clean. 1865 01:34:31,331 --> 01:34:32,800 Let me get the eye lines clean... 1866 01:34:32,900 --> 01:34:35,135 'cause I got a single on me and a single on you. 1867 01:34:35,235 --> 01:34:37,204 And Maysie's sitting in the editing room right now cussing... 1868 01:34:37,304 --> 01:34:38,939 'cause we're talking all over each other. 1869 01:34:39,039 --> 01:34:41,542 Lacey, you do not have a Christmas tree! 1870 01:34:41,642 --> 01:34:43,610 - Mama. - What? No, really! 1871 01:34:43,710 --> 01:34:45,179 That's why you wanted me here... 1872 01:34:45,279 --> 01:34:47,815 - Yup, that's exactly why. - I'll clean up and straighten out. 1873 01:34:47,915 --> 01:34:50,351 I'm gonna take this room. Let me go straighten up a little. 1874 01:34:50,451 --> 01:34:52,353 - Then we'll go... - She talks so much. 1875 01:34:52,453 --> 01:34:55,022 - Is this one yours, Madea? - All right, come on. 1876 01:34:55,122 --> 01:34:57,202 What you talking about? You just talking all over everybody. 1877 01:35:01,228 --> 01:35:03,831 - Hi. - Look, they do it in unison. 1878 01:35:03,931 --> 01:35:06,800 They all do it in unison. That's nice. Unison is nice. 1879 01:35:06,900 --> 01:35:09,269 The unison is very nice. 1880 01:35:09,369 --> 01:35:11,405 You tryin' to correct me? I say it's "u-nis-on." 1881 01:35:11,505 --> 01:35:13,007 No, Aunt Madea. 1882 01:35:13,107 --> 01:35:14,842 So I have a meeting down the hall... 1883 01:35:14,942 --> 01:35:17,511 Any unison when they sang unison. 1884 01:35:17,611 --> 01:35:21,181 No, ma'am, it's not. But that's fine. That's okay. 1885 01:35:21,281 --> 01:35:22,916 I have a meeting down the hall... 1886 01:35:23,016 --> 01:35:25,152 I thought it was "unison", and "a cappollo." 1887 01:35:25,252 --> 01:35:27,721 When they sang in no music, what is that? 1888 01:35:27,821 --> 01:35:28,956 No music? 1889 01:35:29,056 --> 01:35:31,358 Yeah, when you sang and there ain't no music, ain't that a "cappollo"? 1890 01:35:31,458 --> 01:35:33,193 No, that's a cappella. 1891 01:35:33,293 --> 01:35:35,195 I don't know much about music. 1892 01:35:35,295 --> 01:35:37,807 Me and Ike Turner didn't make it. He went on with Tina. 1893 01:35:38,732 --> 01:35:40,634 That's okay. That's okay. 1894 01:35:40,734 --> 01:35:42,469 I would beat the hell out of him. 1895 01:35:42,569 --> 01:35:44,705 Ike wasn't gonna put his hands on me. That's all I'm saying. 1896 01:35:44,805 --> 01:35:46,573 I'm sorry. Say what you're saying to the children. 1897 01:35:46,673 --> 01:35:48,075 - Are you done? Okay. - Yes! 1898 01:35:48,175 --> 01:35:50,077 I have a meeting down the hall... 1899 01:35:50,177 --> 01:35:52,346 You ain't getting testy with me, are you? Talkin' about "Are you done?" 1900 01:35:52,446 --> 01:35:54,715 - No, of course not. - Okay. 1901 01:35:54,815 --> 01:35:58,252 Let's start over from the top, 'cause that's gonna make it in the gag reel. 1902 01:35:58,352 --> 01:35:59,319 Speed. 1903 01:35:59,419 --> 01:36:00,888 - White lightning? - Yeah, moonshine. 1904 01:36:00,988 --> 01:36:02,890 You want to take a snort? 1905 01:36:02,990 --> 01:36:04,291 Nope, I'll pass. 1906 01:36:04,391 --> 01:36:07,194 Boy, it'll put some hair on your chest, I'll guarantee ya. 1907 01:36:07,294 --> 01:36:10,898 Stop it. Come on. Talk about hair on your chest. 1908 01:36:10,998 --> 01:36:12,900 I could French-braid his. 1909 01:36:13,000 --> 01:36:14,935 That's right. I could put a little bow on it. 1910 01:36:15,035 --> 01:36:18,072 She's too pretty to have hair on her chest. Really. 1911 01:36:18,172 --> 01:36:20,174 I gotta tell you, I got rid of mine. 1912 01:36:20,274 --> 01:36:22,242 Little bat hairs attached to needles... 1913 01:36:22,342 --> 01:36:24,511 soaked in cucumber juice and a boatload of Nair. 1914 01:36:24,611 --> 01:36:26,613 Gone, like that, if you ever have a problem with... 1915 01:36:26,713 --> 01:36:29,183 I've seen a mosquito so daggone big... 1916 01:36:29,283 --> 01:36:31,919 it was dry-humping a wiener dog right there on the porch. 1917 01:36:32,019 --> 01:36:35,589 She's way prettier than the last one. She looked like... 1918 01:36:35,689 --> 01:36:37,097 Tyler Perry. 1919 01:36:40,194 --> 01:36:41,995 Boy, I tell you what, Son, she's way prettier... 1920 01:36:42,095 --> 01:36:43,997 than that last girl you was with. 1921 01:36:44,097 --> 01:36:46,108 Good night. She looked like old Tyler Perry. 1922 01:36:49,203 --> 01:36:51,105 All right. Keep going. 1923 01:36:51,205 --> 01:36:52,706 Oh, my God. 1924 01:36:52,806 --> 01:36:54,541 Where are my manners? 1925 01:36:54,641 --> 01:36:56,210 I'll do one it one more time. Ready? 1926 01:36:56,310 --> 01:36:57,811 Where are my manners? 1927 01:36:57,911 --> 01:36:59,880 But this'un, you done good on this'un. 1928 01:36:59,980 --> 01:37:02,316 Shut the... 1929 01:37:02,416 --> 01:37:05,586 I need to introduce myself, but where are my manners? 1930 01:37:05,686 --> 01:37:07,288 I am... 1931 01:37:09,790 --> 01:37:11,425 - All right. - It's okay, Mama. 1932 01:37:11,525 --> 01:37:13,901 I know. It's gonna roll at the end of the movie. All right. 1933 01:37:14,561 --> 01:37:16,697 I'm a truck driver. 1934 01:37:16,797 --> 01:37:20,067 Been out on the road a lot. Long-haul truck driver. 1935 01:37:20,167 --> 01:37:21,468 You run long hos? 1936 01:37:21,568 --> 01:37:22,836 No, long haul. 1937 01:37:22,936 --> 01:37:24,538 Oh, haw, like haw. 1938 01:37:24,638 --> 01:37:26,106 - Hauling. - Oh, hauling. 1939 01:37:26,206 --> 01:37:29,409 Like your eucalyptus. Menthol. "Hall." Haul. 1940 01:37:29,509 --> 01:37:30,811 Not "hole." Haul. 1941 01:37:30,911 --> 01:37:33,280 - A hole, a haul, okay. - But anyway... 1942 01:37:33,380 --> 01:37:35,289 he still lives here, that Tanner. 1943 01:37:36,750 --> 01:37:38,318 Kid's still beating him up? 1944 01:37:38,418 --> 01:37:39,887 Yeah, he's still beating him up. 1945 01:37:39,987 --> 01:37:42,055 The little kid? He's too big for that. 1946 01:37:42,155 --> 01:37:44,424 No, he's big now. He's a regular-sized kid. 1947 01:37:44,524 --> 01:37:47,094 I mean, he growed with... He growed with Conner. 1948 01:37:47,194 --> 01:37:50,230 Tanner, he's regular size. He ain't like a dwarf or nothin'. 1949 01:37:50,330 --> 01:37:52,366 - He growed? - Yeah, he growed up that tall. 1950 01:37:52,466 --> 01:37:55,135 He ain't a dwarf. I mean, shoot, he'd take a dwarf. 1951 01:37:55,235 --> 01:37:56,870 He'd kick ass out of a dwarf. 1952 01:37:56,970 --> 01:37:58,438 Hell, I hope so. 1953 01:37:58,538 --> 01:38:01,074 It's just regular-sized kids he got trouble with. 1954 01:38:01,174 --> 01:38:04,211 - Okay. Okay. - But he's good in the dwarf department. 1955 01:38:04,311 --> 01:38:06,980 I need a dictionary to keep up with you sometime, honey. 1956 01:38:07,080 --> 01:38:10,817 If you're gonna do it, then you need to do it and keep doin' her... 1957 01:38:10,917 --> 01:38:14,054 and then when you're done doin' her, you keep doin' her again... 1958 01:38:14,154 --> 01:38:16,523 'cause you wanna keep doin' what it is you need to do... 1959 01:38:16,623 --> 01:38:18,964 in order to do what you need to be doin'. 1960 01:38:19,893 --> 01:38:21,165 Ain't that right? 1961 01:38:22,062 --> 01:38:23,697 She told you that lie too? 1962 01:38:23,797 --> 01:38:26,166 She didn't have no damn heart attack. 1963 01:38:26,266 --> 01:38:29,536 She had gas. We got her to the hospital, they said she had gas. 1964 01:38:29,636 --> 01:38:30,604 What? 1965 01:38:30,704 --> 01:38:34,149 They ran one of them pipes in there, she farted, it was over. 1966 01:38:39,846 --> 01:38:41,782 Yeah, she had gas. 1967 01:38:41,882 --> 01:38:44,384 She had gas. She had gas. 1968 01:38:44,484 --> 01:38:47,454 They hit her in the stomach real hard and she farted. It was over. 1969 01:38:47,554 --> 01:38:49,056 Then she had heartburn. 1970 01:38:49,156 --> 01:38:52,066 Sounds like she needs some Prilosec OTC. 1971 01:38:53,260 --> 01:38:54,828 Get out my way! 1972 01:38:54,928 --> 01:38:57,231 I don't need to be here in this stuck-up-ass... 1973 01:38:57,331 --> 01:38:58,799 bougie-ass store nowhere. 1974 01:38:58,899 --> 01:39:01,809 I don't need to be up in there with y'all! Go to hell! 1975 01:39:05,405 --> 01:39:08,213 Where's my damn car? Where's my damn car? 1976 01:39:09,676 --> 01:39:11,187 Shut the hell up. 1977 01:39:18,085 --> 01:39:19,220 Cut. 160010

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