Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:01,402
.
2
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:01,869
[upbeat music]
3
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:06,140
- So we're--we're not sure
if it's the same raccoon,
4
00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:10,444
or a cousin, or just
a brand-new raccoon...
5
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,780
Does anyone have any questions
about the raccoon?
6
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,382
Jonah.
7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,050
- Yeah, I have a question
about the layoffs.
8
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,251
all: Yes!
9
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:18,386
- Whoa, wait.
There's layoffs?
10
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,587
When did this happen?
11
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,522
- We found out
at Cheyenne's wedding.
12
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,257
So when are your testicles
gonna drop so you'll tell us--
13
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,159
- Hold up!
Follow up question...
14
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,261
Why wasn't I invited
to your wedding?
15
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,063
- We were keeping it small.
16
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,398
- It was nice, though.
- Thanks.
17
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,532
- Who are you?
18
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,167
- Alisha.
I started last week.
19
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:34,535
- Oh!
20
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,170
- Glenn, why don't you
just tell everybody
21
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,538
who's getting laid off.
22
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,273
- Yeah, we want to know now.
- I don't know.
23
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,275
But--but I have until
the end of the day to decide.
24
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:45,179
So in the meantime, a few words
about firework safety.
25
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,480
- No one cares
about firework safety!
26
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,216
- Exactly!
27
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,650
- Glenn, it's not fair
to make everyone wait
28
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,519
until the end of the day.
29
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,423
- Okay, I'll--I'll tell you
as soon as I decide, but...
30
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,525
in the meantime,
let's just try and forget it,
31
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,427
and have a nice, normal day.
32
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,295
- [chuckles]
- No, in fact,
33
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,197
let's have the best day ever!
34
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:06,300
Okay? 'Cause for six of you,
it's gonna be your last.
35
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:09,303
[upbeat music]
36
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,172
*
37
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,107
- The longer
you drag out this decision,
38
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,642
the worse
it's gonna be for everyone.
39
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,111
- I know, it's--
40
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,846
I love all these people.
41
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,281
- Hey...
42
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,216
you just take all the time
you need, okay?
43
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,451
- I haven't slept
since yesterday
44
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,319
- No!
- Yeah.
45
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,221
- I can't even eat.
- [gasps]
46
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,657
- Do either of you want some
of Jerusha's banana bread?
47
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,126
'Cause I can't finish
my morning loaf.
48
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,562
- No, thank you.
- I would love some.
49
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,130
Oh, oh!
50
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,565
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
51
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,667
- Look, Glenn, if you really
care about these people,
52
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,669
then don't make them
wait all day without knowing.
53
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,471
Just rip off the Band-Aid.
54
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,473
- Is that cinnamon
I'm tasting?
55
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,574
- Taco mix.
56
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,342
- Huh.
57
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,477
Mmm.
58
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,479
- Amy, it's so hard.
59
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,248
I mean, how do I fire
six associates?
60
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,349
- Wait!
61
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:56,484
Six associates?
62
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,651
This doesn't
affect management?
63
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,420
- Oh, no, no.
You guys are fine.
64
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:07,495
- It's just another example
of corporate green run amok.
65
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,363
You know?
The fat cats
66
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,499
keep filling their coffers--
67
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,267
- [yawns]
- Tired?
68
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:15,503
- Bored.
69
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,704
- You're not--
70
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,606
worried about any of this?
71
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,708
- I just don't get worked up
about most stuff.
72
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,710
- I wish I was more like you.
73
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,614
Last night, I accidently
told Amy she was sexy,
74
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,617
and was up half the night
kicking myself for it.
75
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,285
- [chuckles]
But why?
76
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,187
Why would you do that?
77
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,422
- I don't know, why--
[stammers]
78
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,689
I had a few drinks.
79
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,591
You're not making me
feel better about this.
80
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,327
- Oh, I'm not trying to make
you feel better about this.
81
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,594
What you did was crazy.
82
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,296
That's something
a crazy person would do.
83
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,531
- [stammers]
What do I--
84
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,200
Should I tell her
I didn't mean it?
85
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,401
- Definitely. Please.
86
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,536
Just make sure I'm there...
87
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,737
when you walk up
to Amy and say,
88
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,472
"Hey, you're not sexy."
89
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,407
Why would you use that word?
- I don't know!
90
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,709
Lots of people
use the word sexy.
91
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,478
- Oh, yeah, sure.
92
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,547
Tons of people like
hilarious, gay teenagers,
93
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,549
Gloria Estefan,
cartoon skunks...
94
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,384
that's about it.
95
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,353
- I don't know, I feel like
I hear sexy all the time.
96
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,321
- All of us...
97
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,656
are vulnerable.
98
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,758
Okay?
That's why we, as Asians,
99
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,426
need to form an alliance.
100
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:15,329
If one of us gets fired,
we all walk.
101
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,565
- Walk where?
102
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:21,335
- No, if we stick together,
then they can't fire all of us.
103
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,771
Right?
Are we all in?
104
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,439
Asian Alliance?
105
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,441
- Technically,
I'm Native Hawaiian,
106
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:30,444
so can we say
Asian/Polynesian?
107
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,680
- Ugh! Just...
- Sorry.
108
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:36,450
- Have you decided which
employees you're letting go?
109
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,686
- Why don't you try
and guess who they are?
110
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,254
- Glenn--
- Wrong!
111
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:41,722
- No, I was saying your name.
112
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,357
Look, I know it's tough,
but I need an answer
113
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,592
within one hour.
114
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,460
Okay?
- No!
115
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,462
- Excuse me?
116
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,365
- You heard me, I s--
I said, no.
117
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:54,602
I am taking a stand.
I am not gonna fire anyone!
118
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,804
- Well, you have to.
119
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,606
- Okay.
120
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,609
[playing Boston's
"More Than A Feeling"]
121
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:05,379
- * I see my Marianne
walkin' away *
122
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,281
- My husband's out of work,
and I just got this job.
123
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,549
I can't afford to lose it.
124
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,850
- Oh, I'm sure
you'll be fine.
125
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,819
You seem smart,
and dependable...
126
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,622
and sexy, and--
and you're a hard worker.
127
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,490
- What'd you call me?
128
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:17,491
- Dependable?
129
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,493
- I have six children...
130
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,495
one of whom
is messed the [bleep] up.
131
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,831
I do not need some
overgrown leprechaun
132
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,499
harassing me at work.
133
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,634
- [glass breaks]
[screams]
134
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,302
Uh, uh, uh!
135
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,537
I'm sorry, I-I--
I'm cleaning it up!
136
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,339
- No, no! No! Cheyenne!
137
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,740
That's glass!
- No, no, that's a bad idea.
138
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,408
- It's okay,
I don't want Glenn to find out.
139
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,510
I-I don't mind.
140
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,512
Ow!
- No, stop!
141
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,314
- Ow!
142
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,850
- Okay, if she bleeds out,
call someone.
143
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,319
- Ow! Ow.
144
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,754
- Please do not leer at me.
145
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,423
- Hey, Glenn, people are
starting to get a little
146
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,858
crazy...
147
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,427
out there...
148
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:57,865
.
149
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:58,466
- All of us are vulnerable.
150
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,569
Okay, that's why
we as gay people...
151
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,437
we need to form an alliance.
152
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,339
- I'm in.
- Uh, actually,
153
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:07,641
I'm not a lesbian.
154
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,876
- Girl...
155
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,345
- Turns out
management is safe.
156
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,680
Found out the hard way.
157
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,348
I had to eat some of
Glenn's banana bread.
158
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,450
I'm gonna be backed up
till Sunday.
159
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:17,785
Maybe I'll have
chili for lunch.
160
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,587
Blast it with dynamite.
161
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,821
- Well, it's...
162
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,791
good to know
you'll be sticking around.
163
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,693
- Why?
164
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,696
- Just something people say.
165
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:29,897
- Hm.
166
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,732
- I mean...
167
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,701
wouldn't you be glad to hear
I wasn't losing my job?
168
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,603
- No more than anyone else.
169
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,605
Wait, is this because
we've been having sex?
170
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,906
- Well, no, I just thought--
171
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,708
- All animals have sex!
172
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,809
I know what you're gonna say.
173
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,477
Not certain kinds of worms.
174
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:44,812
Whatever, Poindexter.
175
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,946
- No worms have sex.
176
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,615
They all have sex
with themselves.
177
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:48,816
- Here we go.
178
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,618
- Look, how about we...
179
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,620
How about we rank people?
180
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,388
Like, on a scale
from one to ten.
181
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,390
If you had to give
Elias a number...
182
00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:58,826
based on
job performance alone.
183
00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,927
What would it be?
184
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,629
- Elias?
185
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,831
That's easy. Ten.
186
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,733
- Okay.
187
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,736
Okay, so we know
we're not considering Elias.
188
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,505
Um...
what about Sarah?
189
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,641
- Oh!
She's even better than Elias.
190
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:14,842
- Right!
- Yeah.
191
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,411
- So if Sarah
is better than Elias,
192
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:20,648
then maybe we give
a Elias a nine?
193
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,683
- No, make Sarah an 11.
194
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,620
- Okay. Yeah.
195
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,921
- The National
Weather Service
196
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,823
has issued
a heightened tornado watch
197
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,826
for the St. Louis area--
- Wind speeds up to 200 mph
198
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,828
are expected--
- Important information
199
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,730
you absolutely need
to know to survive.
200
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,932
- Not only
did Lisa Rinna design
201
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,535
this fabulous cardigan herself,
202
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,737
she owns it in all 17 colors.
203
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,205
- Attention, shoppers.
204
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,541
If you are the owner
of a four-door,
205
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,210
beige, sexy Cabriolet,
your lights are on.
206
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:54,748
That again is a beige,
sexy Cabriolet.
207
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,216
- Subtle.
208
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,951
- I'm just talking
how I talk.
209
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,953
- Tell me if this is weird.
210
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,655
Dina said she didn't care
211
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,891
if I'm the one
who gets laid off.
212
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,225
- What? That is weird.
213
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,660
You guys are in,
like, a relationship.
214
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:07,861
- Uh, no.
[chuckles]
215
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,663
We're not.
- Yeah, but, you know...
216
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,231
You're sleeping together.
217
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,866
- Pfft, I ain't sleeping
with all those birds.
218
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,568
[chuckles]
219
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,969
- You're having sex.
220
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,572
- Okay, yeah, sure,
but why does that matter?
221
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,973
- Because there's usually...
222
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,576
you know, an emotional
component to sex.
223
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,777
- Not with us.
224
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,581
- Okay,
then it's not weird.
225
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:28,816
- I don't think so either.
226
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,586
- Okay, so...
227
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:36,524
Mateo is a 43,
Mary is a 42.5...
228
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,960
and Cody, who grows weed
in the garden center...
229
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,062
is a 42.
230
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:45,533
On a scale from one to ten.
231
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,967
- I hire good people.
232
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,637
- Look, there is
no right answer here.
233
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,071
Glenn, you could
walk out into the store
234
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,773
and ask every single person,
235
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,842
and they're all gonna have
a different opinion.
236
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,611
- Okay.
237
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,513
Everyone write down the names
238
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:02,616
of the six people
you think should be laid off.
239
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,518
- And you're gonna fire
whoever we say?
240
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:07,955
- No, we're all gonna fire
whoever we all say.
241
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,690
Together.
As a family.
242
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:10,991
- So like a family,
243
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,092
we'll decide
which siblings to get rid of
244
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,627
through simple majority.
245
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:14,928
- That doesn't make any sense.
246
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,063
We're just gonna wind up
splitting the vote,
247
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,631
and then we're all in danger.
248
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,966
Someone just say someone's name,
249
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,634
and we'll all vote
on that person.
250
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,070
- Marcus.
- [laughing]
251
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,805
No, for real, though.
252
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,073
- I'll do Marcus.
[overlapping chatter]
253
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,075
- No, no, no, bad.
254
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,977
- I think we should
fire the sluts.
255
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,079
- I hope not all of us sluts.
256
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,648
- You're not a slut, Justine,
stop trying to seem interesting.
257
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,049
- I mean, Sandra.
258
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,552
She stole my boyfriend,
and she's bad at zoning.
259
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:39,653
- You don't have to explain it.
260
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:40,988
Everybody put Sandra.
261
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,089
- Okay, Sandra.
[overlapping chatter]
262
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,957
- Okay.
263
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,793
- Glenn, I think asking for
everybody's input is--
264
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,096
is an interesting,
and noble, and sexy idea,
265
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,064
but it's a mistake.
266
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:54,001
- It can't be a mistake if
it's what everyone votes for.
267
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,569
- Oh, yeah,
that's always true.
268
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:58,105
- This may not be
politically correct...
269
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,575
but let's just fire
all the minorities.
270
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,811
[overlapping chatter]
271
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,579
- This is not a democracy.
272
00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,014
It's mob rule.
273
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,582
- What's the difference?
274
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,951
- [stammers] Um...
275
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,720
uh, wow, that's a really
interesting thought.
276
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,121
- Glenn, just
a friendly reminder.
277
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,023
Jeff is gonna need
a decision in three minutes.
278
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,026
*
279
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,694
- Uh, okay, I'm--
280
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,129
I-I just need to...
281
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,832
check on something...
282
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,600
- What?
- Are we still voting?
283
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:29,603
Where'd he go?
- Mine's already filled out.
284
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,605
[all clamoring]
- There he goes. There he goes.
285
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:34,608
[Creedence Clearwater Revival's
"Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"]
286
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:37,010
- * Been that way
for all my time *
287
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,213
- Sup, Glenn.
288
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,782
- Oh, hey, guys.
289
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,984
I was just
heading out to the...
290
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,786
[murmurs unintelligibly]
291
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,220
- Gorflorkinson?
292
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,222
- No.
293
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,791
- Glenn!
- Hm?
294
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,225
- You have to make
a decision now.
295
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,994
- Okay, fine.
296
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:57,130
I'm just gonna say it.
297
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,899
Unless something stops me.
298
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,801
Like when an angel comes
299
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,803
at the last possible second
300
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,872
in the bible!
301
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,146
But that doesn't
seem to be happening
302
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:16,917
because that last
possible second is now.
303
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,052
Like, right now.
304
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,754
Hey, welcome to Cloud 9!
305
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,155
Can I help--
- Glenn!
306
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,157
- Chris, Alex, Cody,
Justine, Henry, and Marcus.
307
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,859
- Why?
- [chuckling]
308
00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,861
- Oh!
- You wanna fire me?
309
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,429
Well, guess what?
If I go...
310
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,864
Mateo goes, too.
311
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,065
We have an alliance.
312
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,233
Right, buddy?
313
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,071
Oh, real nice.
314
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,874
So much for Dave Matthews fans
sticking together.
315
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,176
[alarm wailing]
316
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,444
- What is that?
What is going on?
317
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,979
- Sounds like
a prison escape.
318
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,081
- No, guys.
It's Color Wars.
319
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,883
- No,
it's a tornado warning!
320
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,184
- [gasps]
- All right.
321
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,786
Everybody stay inside.
322
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,254
We are gonna
lock this place down.
323
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,189
- Okay...
324
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,858
how funny would it had been
325
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,460
if that siren had come
ten seconds earlier!
326
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:04,297
.
327
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,365
- Everyone should find a place
to take shelter until
328
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,101
the tornado either passes,
329
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,937
dissipates,
or hits us head on.
330
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,072
[overlapping concern]
- Which is not going to happen!
331
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,240
This is just a warning.
332
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,042
We're gonna be fine.
333
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,844
- Oh, sorry, I didn't realize
you were a magical gypsy
334
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:17,845
who could tell the future.
335
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,079
She isn't.
336
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,347
- What do we do if
the tornado hits us?
337
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,883
- Uh, what do we do if
the tornado hit us?
338
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,118
I'm not sure, maybe
get blown away by it?
339
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,887
- No, no,
you hide under a doorway.
340
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,856
- No, no, no.
That's an earthquake.
341
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,357
- Actually, they say you're not
supposed to do that anymore.
342
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,925
- Who cares
what they say not to do
343
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,827
for something
that's not happening.
344
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,829
- They say that you should go
towards the eye of the storm.
345
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,264
- Where's
the eye of the storm, Amy?
346
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,365
- I don't know.
- That's what I thought.
347
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,367
- Tell someone you trust.
348
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,936
- Oh, Cheyenne, that's only if
the tornado's molesting you.
349
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,938
- Okay, this is
exactly why I said
350
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,373
we needed to do
tornado drills, Glenn.
351
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,041
- Okay, well,
we'll do a tornado drill
352
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,376
right now, Dina.
- Great!
353
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,845
- Okay, this is just a drill!
354
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,147
Everyone grab a clutch buddy!
355
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,215
- Oh, get off me.
356
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,050
- No--
- Hold on to me.
357
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,285
[overlapping chatter]
- Don't even think about it.
358
00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,352
- Get off me!
- I am saving your life.
359
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,321
- I don't wanna be saved by you!
360
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,256
[Creedence Clearwater Revival
"Who'll Stop The Rain"]
361
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,058
- * Caught up in the fable
362
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,393
* I watched the tower
363
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,395
- Bo, I just want to
let you know that
364
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,398
there's a tornado warning,
and...
365
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,967
in case I don't make it,
I want you to make sure that
366
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,869
Harmonica becomes an actress.
367
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,305
- I'm okay for now, but
if something is to happen...
368
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,774
Crackers, Harriet, Mr. Beaks...
369
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,109
I want you to open the cages.
370
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,311
I know you know how...
371
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,313
I've known for months.
372
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,982
- And, uh, I just wanted to
make sure that Emma's okay.
373
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,985
Uh, and you,
obviously, you, too.
374
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,987
I still, you know...
375
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,189
I mean, no matter what...
376
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,190
anyway.
377
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,425
- Hi, Jerry.
378
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,093
I'm just calling
to let you know that
379
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,995
you should probably
get tested.
380
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,997
There are, like,
ten guys here who say that
381
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,465
Sandra gave them herpes.
382
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:52,372
- [exhales]
383
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,076
Oh, hey.
384
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,979
This kinda puts things
in perspective, huh?
385
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,982
Makes getting fired
seem not so bad.
386
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,416
- I had just saved up
enough money
387
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,185
to put doors back on my car.
388
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,287
- Well, if you got the money,
you can still do it.
389
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,958
- No. 'Cause all that money's
gonna have to go towards food.
390
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,093
And movies.
391
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,095
- What happened to
our Catholic alliance?
392
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,329
You lied to me.
393
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,998
- Don't take it personally.
394
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,432
I'm not here
to make friends, Cody.
395
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,235
Hate the game, not the player.
396
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:23,904
You get it.
397
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,906
- Nobody loves you.
398
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,274
You're gonna die alone.
399
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,413
- Shut up.
400
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,415
- I got a helmet for when
stuff starts flying around.
401
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,884
There was one extra.
Who wants it?
402
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,151
- Oh, me.
- I'll take it.
403
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,887
- Hmm, guess
we'll have to flip for it.
404
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,121
- Well...
405
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,322
who do you want
to have the helmet?
406
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,224
- It doesn't matter to me.
407
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,426
Why is everything I have
from Dave & Buster's?
408
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,896
- All right, so you have
a chance to give somebody
409
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,231
a better shot at
surviving a tornado,
410
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,432
and it makes
zero difference to you
411
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,267
if that person is me, or--
412
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,402
- Alisha.
- Hey, Dina.
413
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,137
both: Nice to meet you.
414
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,338
- I heard good things
about your interview!
415
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,908
[both chuckling]
- I tried.
416
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:01,909
- What?
417
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,143
- Well, nothing, just...
418
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,344
flip the coin.
419
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,914
- I don't wanna die in a Cloud 9
420
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,515
surrounded by diarrhea medicine.
421
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,920
- Well, you know,
[stammers]
422
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,354
we're in a safe place.
423
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,023
You know,
you're supposed to stay away
424
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,358
from south and west walls,
425
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,028
and you're never supposed to
hide under an overpass.
426
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,362
That's--
that's just a myth.
427
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,164
- What are you talking about?
428
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,166
- I'm just talking
to comfort you.
429
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,168
Is it working?
- No, not really.
430
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,302
- Okay, I'll keep talking.
431
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,938
- Okay.
432
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,372
- I mean, the thing about
this structure is--
433
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,175
[stammers]
It's really solid, you know?
434
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,945
It's very strong,
it's very sturdy.
435
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,279
It's...
436
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:43,283
- It's very sexy.
437
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:45,085
- I...
438
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,386
think I might be the only one
who could pull that word off.
439
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,221
[fixtures creaking]
- [gasps]
440
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,492
- Oh, that's--
that's just, um...
441
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,061
that's just the grid.
442
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,965
Uh, recalibrating.
443
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,468
- We're gonna die in a Cloud 9
surrounded by diarrhea medicine.
444
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,403
- Well...
445
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,973
we should keep talking so
those aren't your last words.
446
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,342
- * It's the final countdown
447
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:15,115
*
448
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,151
- [uncomfortable laughter]
449
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,588
I'm sorry,
I'm a little nervous.
450
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,258
- Hey, let's all sing a song.
451
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:28,261
* Cantaloupe's
on the fence post *
452
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,430
* Horsey's in the barn
453
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,265
Everybody!
454
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,501
[all singing]
* Flapjack's on the table
455
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:38,505
* Grandpa's spinning a yarn
456
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,508
- Average tornado warning
is 13 minutes.
457
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,077
So in about...
458
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,545
four minutes, we'll be fine.
459
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:49,382
[thunder rumbling]
Or, you know...
460
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,618
not.
461
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,188
- You suck at
being comforting.
462
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,191
- We're gonna be fine.
463
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:01,194
[explosive boom]
- [shrieks]
464
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:04,264
[heavy breathing]
465
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,269
- Excuse me.
466
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,071
These razors
say two for one,
467
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,273
but do they mean two razors,
or two packs of razors?
468
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,608
'Cause there's--
there's two per pack.
469
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,078
- Just--just take the--
the one pack, then.
470
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,412
- The one pack?
- Yeah.
471
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,613
- But there's two in there.
472
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,182
See, this is the thing.
473
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,152
[wind blowing]
474
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,331
- Oh, [bleep].
475
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:44,171
.
476
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:44,537
[wind howling]
477
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,475
[crashing and rumbling]
478
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,709
- Dear Lord Jesus,
479
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,078
in your infinite power
and compassion,
480
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,579
please save us
from destruction.
481
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:55,582
Thank you, Jesus, thank you.
- [whimpering]
482
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,085
[crashing and rumbling]
483
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,586
- Dear...
484
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,688
Jewish God,
in your infinite power--
485
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,224
- The festive designs
from Caribbean designer
486
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:09,329
Agwe Urgellés were inspired by
accounts of real-life mermaids.
487
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,598
- Amy, come on!
488
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,799
[crashing and rumbling]
489
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,801
- Look out for the--
- [screams]
490
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:18,071
[crashing and rumbling]
491
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,543
- It's messed up that you didn't
give me the other helmet!
492
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,212
- You lost the flip!
493
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,547
- There shouldn't have been
a flip, you psycho!
494
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,116
- Why?
495
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,319
- Because there's
an emotional component to sex!
496
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,787
- [uncomfortable laughter]
- Buddha, if you speak English,
497
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,589
in you infinite power
and compassion, please--
498
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,790
- We're all gonna die!
499
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,127
- Come on! Run! Run!
500
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,130
[crashing and rumbling]
501
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,132
- Wait! Wait!
502
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,233
Sandra!
503
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,600
Please help!
504
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,236
- I love you, Jeff!
505
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,204
I love you.
506
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,340
But I didn't want to die without
letting you know how I feel!
507
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:56,143
And you use the word
"ostensibly" too much.
508
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,711
But I didn't want to die
without telling you that.
509
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,614
[crashing and rumbling]
510
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,350
- Ahh!
511
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,153
- $49.99?
Can we sell it that low?
512
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:09,189
[crashing and rumbling]
513
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,894
- In your infinite power
and compassion,
514
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,196
please save us
from destruction.
515
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,297
Thank you, Ganesh.
516
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,299
- We're all gonna die.
517
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,734
[laughing]
518
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,170
- Dear, Allah,
519
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,404
in your infinite power
and compassion,
520
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,306
please save us
from destruction.
521
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,709
- [uncomfortable laughter]
522
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,779
[storm recedes]
523
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,819
- Thank you...
524
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,222
Allah?
525
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,225
[gentle guitar music]
526
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:52,299
*
527
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:09,316
*
528
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:26,333
*
529
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:42,749
*
530
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,919
- You guys, I found
my green hair thingy.
531
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,821
- Sir, are you hurt?
532
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:54,927
*
533
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:59,966
[indistinct chatter]
534
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:06,273
*
535
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,441
- No death or injuries
in a hit like this...
536
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,277
Someone out there must be
looking out for you guys.
537
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,511
- Yup.
538
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,981
Someone was.
539
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:16,516
- All right, listen up!
540
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,418
Justine!
- Here.
541
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,886
- Darren!
- Yeah.
542
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,889
- Garrett!
- Right here.
543
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,292
- Glad you're not dead.
544
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,893
- Likewise.
545
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,995
- Brett!
546
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,997
Brett!
547
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,901
Has anybody seen Brett?
548
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,904
No Brett.
549
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:38,905
- Guys!
550
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,540
Do we sell baby pigs?
551
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,309
I found a baby pig.
552
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,443
[pig squeals]
553
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:47,547
*
554
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,015
- Listen, um, I just wanna--
555
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,917
- Oh, no, you do not--
- No, just let me--
556
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,919
- Amy, seriously--
- Jonah, stop talking.
557
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,321
*
558
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,555
I'm saying thank you.
559
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,024
For being there for me,
and--and for...
560
00:20:58,057 --> 00:21:00,026
keeping me calm.
561
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:02,028
- Of course. You know?
562
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,463
Anytime.
563
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,831
- Mom!
564
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,466
- Emma!
565
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,468
Are you okay?
- We're okay.
566
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,037
- The phones are down.
We were just worried.
567
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,840
I was worried about you.
- I'm okay, I'm okay.
568
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,042
*
569
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,578
- Hey! Do you, uh...
570
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,947
guys feel like
getting a drink?
571
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,482
- [exhales]
572
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,050
I can definitely go
for a drink right now.
573
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:25,084
- Yes!
574
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,853
The horsemen ride again!
575
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,588
I think we should
call ourselves the horsemen.
576
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,056
- Okay.
577
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:33,493
Hey, let's go home.
- Let's do it.
578
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,061
- Look out, bartender,
here we come.
579
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:37,864
[chuckling]
I love drinking, guys.
580
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,966
- My car!
581
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:41,968
- Aw, Giant Taco?
582
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,604
Their enchiladas
are crazy good!
583
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,506
I hope they're still open.
584
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:49,509
Do we gotta come
into work tomorrow?
585
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:52,479
*
39910
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
