All language subtitles for Superstore (2015) - S01E07 - Color Wars (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,235 . 2 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:02,136 - [whimpers] - Shh. It's gonna be okay. 3 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,807 - [whimpering] 4 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:10,511 - What happened? - Jeremy died this morning. 5 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,046 - [gasps] - No. 6 00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,381 - Jeremy died? 7 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,350 - Jer--the tall guy? He was so young. 8 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,519 - Oh, I called it. You can't be that tall and live. 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,887 - No. [chokes up] 10 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,922 Not stupid, tall Jeremy. 11 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,158 I wish he'd die. 12 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,227 My bird Jeremy. 13 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:30,264 One day he was alive, and then the next... 14 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,867 [sobs] 15 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:40,608 [sighs] 16 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,177 I had him since he was a little-- 17 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,146 [holding back sobs] 18 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,548 [snorts] 19 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,283 [sobbing] 20 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,453 - Bird? Little bird? 21 00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,123 She was probably gonna say "little bird." 22 00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,126 [upbeat music] 23 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,128 * 24 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,196 [indistinct chatter] 25 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:05,166 I'm sure he's in a better place. 26 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,634 Right, Mateo? 27 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,702 - Yeah, I bet he's in bird heaven. 28 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:12,005 - You think so? But he was so violent. 29 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,674 - Damn, man, I tried to get it off, 30 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,143 but no one would cover my shift. 31 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,378 - I would've stayed home, but Emma needs braces 32 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,247 and they just cut back on Adam's hours at work, 33 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:20,714 so I need the money. 34 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,217 - Hey, maybe it won't be so bad. Just got to let it happen. 35 00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,785 - What's going on? What's today? 36 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:28,055 - Oh, you don't know. - K-know what? 37 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,391 - Know this. 38 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,692 Hmm. 39 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,927 Oh, thought I heard the music. Guess I timed it wrong. 40 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:37,431 - It's Color Wars! 41 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,167 - Whoo. [all groan] 42 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,968 - What's Color Wars? 43 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,171 - Two teams-- one gold, one red-- 44 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:46,840 and whoever sells the most by the end of the day wins. 45 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,576 - Please, I'm not in the mood. 46 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,610 - What do we win? 47 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:54,282 - Oh, this year the winning team gets... 48 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,949 [imitates drumroll] 49 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,018 A pizza party. 50 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,086 [all groan] 51 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,189 - Sometimes I just want to get in my car 52 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:04,325 and drive and drive, drive. 53 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,726 - Buckle your seat belt, 54 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,929 because you are about to experience Cloud 9 55 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:12,400 as you have never experienced it before. 56 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,842 [indistinct chatter] 57 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,344 - [sighs] 58 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,446 - Hey, Dina, what you doing over here in the bleachers? 59 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,581 It's Color Wars. 60 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,283 - Do birds go to Heaven? 61 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,852 - No, they don't have souls. 62 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,688 They just become dirt. 63 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,690 - Oh. - Okay? 64 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,892 - Okay. 65 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,397 - Hey, if it would cheer you up, 66 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:46,267 you could help me plan the pizza party. 67 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,302 - What's there to plan? You're just buying a pizza. 68 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,538 - No, that's a pizza dinner. 69 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,240 The word "party" changes things. 70 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,375 There are certain expectations. 71 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,609 I mean, I could do it on my own, 72 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:58,479 but it'd be way more fun to do with you. 73 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,281 - [clears throat] 74 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,283 All right, I'll help you with the stupid party. 75 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,385 - But wait. Not if you don't want to. 76 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,954 - Well, you've begged me, so, yeah, I'll help you, 77 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:09,657 but I got to say, I've got some major problems with your ideas. 78 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,325 - You haven't even heard them yet. 79 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,261 - I've heard them for years. They always suck. 80 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,728 - No, they don't. 81 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,264 Which ones? 82 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,399 - All right, now, when you check out, 83 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,167 they're gonna ask you if you were helped by someone 84 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,902 on the Red Team or the Gold Team. 85 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,504 This next part's very important. 86 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,306 I do not care. 87 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,909 [indistinct chatter] 88 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,579 - No one's into the contest. 89 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,915 - I don't think the promise of pizza has the same effect 90 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,650 it had on us when we were kids. 91 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,919 - It's a pizza party. 92 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,188 Besides, that's not the only prize. 93 00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:44,925 Everyone on the winning team gets $100. 94 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,660 - What? - Yeah. 95 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,662 - Why didn't you tell us that before? 96 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,863 - I was saving it. 97 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,466 I wanted to have a nice surprise incentive 98 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,901 for the end of the day. 99 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:58,406 - No, you have to tell people about incentives beforehand. 100 00:03:58,406 --> 00:03:59,807 - Oh, okay. 101 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,310 Well, should I tell people, then? 102 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,711 Should I make an announcement? 103 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,946 - Um, I can. I can do it. 104 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,116 Each member of the winning team takes home... 105 00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,318 $100. 106 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:11,752 [all gasp] 107 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,621 - I could really use that money. 108 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,189 I've been saving up for one of those 3D ultrasounds-- 109 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:19,026 you know, the one where the baby's all like... 110 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,329 - And the best part is that the Red Team 111 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:24,332 doesn't even know about the money. 112 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,634 Jonah? - I'm sorry. Just--I don't-- 113 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:29,970 I-I am a little uncomfortable pushing people 114 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,805 to buy things that they don't want or need. 115 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,474 [all groan] - Seriously? Just stop it. 116 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:36,610 - I will kill myself before I go back to 2D ultrasound, okay? 117 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,945 I will kill myself. 118 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,013 - Withdrawn. - Okay. 119 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,115 Let's stick to departments that play to our strengths. 120 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,684 Jenny, cosmetics is not your-- 121 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,719 [clears throat] 122 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,456 - Hey... all: Hey. 123 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,957 - Guys. 124 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,159 - What's up, girl? [chuckles awkwardly] 125 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,997 [vending machine whirring] 126 00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:59,800 - Oh, just... 127 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,870 [bill scratching] 128 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,840 [scoffs] 129 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,877 [vending machine whirring] 130 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,747 I was putting it in wrong. 131 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,384 - * All I want to do is have fun with my loved ones * 132 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:19,086 * The thug ones, relatives, and my cousins * 133 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,754 * And I got them by the dozens * 134 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,724 * When they buzzin', quick to say [...] your husband * 135 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,493 * This is for my [...] locked away * 136 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,761 * Extra love for the ones who ain't got no date * 137 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,263 * But when we hit checkmate with Ice Cube the great * 138 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,401 * As soon as I get a word, we can rush the safe * 139 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,403 - * Yeah 140 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,538 - * Freaky gyration is close to fornication * 141 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:41,609 * 142 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,481 - Wow. Looks like you guys are doing pretty good. 143 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,918 - What? Oh, pssh. Whatever. okay. 144 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,486 Looks like somebody's taking the competition 145 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,422 a little too seriously all of a sudden. 146 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,457 I can't believe you're even looking at the board, Garrett. 147 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:57,791 - Well, I wasn't. 148 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,560 I just turned my head, and my eyeballs went with it. 149 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,228 That's how faces work, 150 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,330 but it looks like you were studying it pretty closely. 151 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:06,867 - Um, okay, whatever you say. 152 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,436 I'm gonna go chill in the break room. 153 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,770 Lates. 154 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,806 - "Lates"? 155 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:19,079 Hey, Mateo, you notice anything funny about this? 156 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,583 - Big guy, tiny shirt--classic. I already Instagrammed it. 157 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,919 - No, I mean, why is the Gold Team selling so hard? 158 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,588 - I don't know. 159 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,923 Let me do a little investigating. 160 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,959 - Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow. 161 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,261 There's a $100 prize for the winning team. 162 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:37,465 - Thank you very much. 163 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:40,601 . 164 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,235 - Obviously, don't have sex with any of the customers, 165 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:46,173 but if a man is under the impression, 166 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:49,142 however misguided, that the more he buys, 167 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,546 the less impossible it might be that he could have sex with you, 168 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,616 well, that's on him. 169 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:59,487 But, uh, you're a lady, and I respect you. 170 00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,354 - Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers, 171 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,823 we'd like to welcome the members 172 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,626 of our Second Chances Program in the gold T-shirts. 173 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,294 If you'd prefer to work with someone 174 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,962 who hasn't committed a violent crime, 175 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,498 our red-shirted employees 176 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,966 will be more than happy to help out. 177 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:16,837 Yes, the Cloud 9 Second Chances Program-- 178 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,573 'cause knowledge is worth 100 bucks. 179 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,743 [Edwin Starr's "War"] 180 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:26,547 - * Huh, yeah - * What is good for? 181 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,517 - * Absolutely nothing, say it again, y'all * 182 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,019 - * War - * Huh, huh, good God 183 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:34,387 - Dina, we have to prioritize. 184 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,156 We don't need a piƱata. 185 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,525 - PiƱatas are awesome. 186 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:40,127 You're hitting things, eating candy, taking turns. 187 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,161 What more do you want? 188 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,797 - Our party budget is only $60, 189 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,033 and the tiny clown alone is $40. 190 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,569 - We don't need a tiny clown. 191 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,371 - I already agreed to cut the fat clown, remember? 192 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:54,842 So pretty soon this party is gonna have zero clowns. 193 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:58,178 Is that what you want-- a party with zero clowns? 194 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,780 - This one's twice as much, 195 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,349 but it comes with a built-in bean hopper. 196 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,318 - Yeah, I-I doubt you'd ever use most of these features. 197 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,687 - Are you sure? 198 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,556 'Cause I'm leaning toward the expensive one, 199 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:12,926 and I can't stress enough, money is no object. 200 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,428 - Honestly, unless you're, like, a barista, 201 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,699 I think you're better off with just a regular auto-drip. 202 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,835 - All right, I guess I'll spend the difference on lotto tickets, 203 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,572 although, realistically, what are my chances of winning twice? 204 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:30,878 - Jonah, so the Red Team knows about the money now, 205 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:34,147 so it's time for the Gold Team to stop pussyfooting around. 206 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,717 - I'm not doing that with my feet. 207 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,385 I-I just have trouble pressuring people 208 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,020 into buying stuff they don't need. 209 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,388 - Well, that's selfish. 210 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,723 - Actually, I think it's the opposite of selfish. 211 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,725 - Come on, Jonah, you're better than this. 212 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,294 Look at the Red Team. Brett just sold a shelf. 213 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,397 Not the items on the shelf-- he sold an actual shelf. 214 00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,601 - Yeah, well, that's Brett. Guy's a machine. 215 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,836 - Okay, look... 216 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,705 money's a little tight for me right now. 217 00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:00,808 So maybe $100 doesn't mean that much to you, 218 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,776 but some of us could really use it. 219 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:06,479 So can you please start selling people crap they don't need? 220 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,881 - Oh, no, no, no. 221 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,917 Believe me--that bean hopper has come in handy 222 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,619 more times than I can count. 223 00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:12,853 - That's what I said. 224 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:19,259 - Gold pride? - Gold pride. 225 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,261 - Don't take "no" for an answer. 226 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:25,766 - And then in blue icing, have it say, "Congratulations." 227 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,534 Got that? 228 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,670 No, not "Congratulations. Got that?" 229 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,705 Just "Congratulations." 230 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,243 No, I don't want you to write "Congratulations. Got that? 231 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,978 "No, not 'Congratulations. Got that?' 232 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:40,247 Just 'Congratulations.'" 233 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,315 What do I do here? - He doesn't know English. 234 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,351 He's just transcribing phonetically. 235 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,286 - Well, what language does he speak? 236 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,755 - You hired him. 237 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:50,824 That's why, if it was up to me, I'd fire half the staff. 238 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,160 No, don't put that on the cake. 239 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,668 - Need some help with the grill? 240 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,336 - Uh, no, no, no, no. I'm just browsing. 241 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,571 I already got the base model. 242 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,806 - Ah. 243 00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,143 She's a beaut, huh? 244 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,880 - Yeah. - She's a-a real beaut. 245 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,315 - Believe me-- I wish I could afford it, 246 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,984 but, I mean, 247 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,787 how much am I gonna really use a motorized rotisserie burner? 248 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:23,223 - I use mine all the time. 249 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:27,227 It's--it's gotten me out of some pretty crazy jams. 250 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,396 - Are you a-- you a grill guy? 251 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,164 - So much. 252 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,201 - Okay. Charcoal or gas? 253 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:37,938 - If you need to ask, then you are not a grill guy. 254 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,507 - Yes, exactly. That's good. - Yeah. Yeah. 255 00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,843 - I should use that in one of my videos. 256 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,611 - Your, uh-- What videos? 257 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,914 - I do these--these grilling videos on YouTube. 258 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,515 It's not a--it's not a big deal or anything. 259 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,817 - Sounds like a big deal to me. 260 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,584 - I got nine subscribers. - What? 261 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:52,786 - I don't even know three of them. 262 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,955 - Wow. Total strangers. - Yeah. 263 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,958 - That's, uh-- I guess, then, one could say 264 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,560 you almost need this. 265 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,196 - Yeah, maybe, maybe. Let me run it by my wife. 266 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,765 I think she's around here somewhere, and I'll-- 267 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,033 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 268 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,200 Hold on. Come on. 269 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,736 Uh, let's not-- [clears throat] 270 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,370 Let's not bring a lady into this, right? 271 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,504 This is guy stuff-- 272 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,741 You know, grills, football, 273 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,777 cars, porn. 274 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,883 - Yeah, I'll just-- I'll, uh--I'll call her. 275 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,085 - Yeah, all right. 276 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:28,021 - You think you're a bigger Minions fan than me? 277 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,158 I don't think so, 'cause if you were, 278 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,194 you would have a Minions blanket 279 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,497 and a Minions night-light 280 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,567 and some Minions candy 281 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,636 and this princess thing. 282 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,172 [cell phone vibrates] 283 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,207 One second. Hey, babe, what's up? 284 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,277 - Uh, yeah, yeah, I just wanted to run something by you. 285 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,979 - Oh, I'm really busy right now. Can it wait? 286 00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,847 - Well, I was just at home, and I realized 287 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,016 we were out of AA batteries, so I had the-- 288 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,517 - Oh, AA batteries. I'll bring some home. 289 00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,886 Okay, I love you, bye. 290 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,922 That was the head Minion, 291 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:06,093 and he told me to tell you to tell your mom 292 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,061 to get you a new Xbox. 293 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:12,432 - Um, she couldn't talk. [chuckles] 294 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,434 - Well... 295 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:17,604 it's, uh, not like you didn't try, right? 296 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,806 - Yeah. - Huh? 297 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,908 - Yeah, I tried. - Yeah. 298 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,309 - Let's do this. - Okay. 299 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:23,510 - Yeah. - All right. 300 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,645 - Yeah. - Look out, cookout. 301 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,147 [chuckles] - What? 302 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:30,984 . 303 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,319 - Trust me, you don't want the RX-5. 304 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,823 The Vilano Forza's the way to go. 305 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:38,158 - The RX-5 got five spokes on RoadPro, 306 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,459 and it's half the price. 307 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,095 - Mm, okay. - What's that mean? 308 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:46,599 - [sighs] Look, man, I used to own the 5, okay? 309 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,501 And it was good... 310 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,903 till the pedals came loose 311 00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,205 when I was crossing a busy street. 312 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,244 - Oh, I-- oh, I'm sorry. 313 00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,912 - But, hey, you know what? 314 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,481 I like to focus on the positive. 315 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,316 I'll ring you up for the RX-5. 316 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:06,854 - Actually, let's go with the Vilano. 317 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,355 - Hell, yeah! 318 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,723 And let's get you one of these fancy racer helmets too. 319 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,994 "I wish I had a better helmet" was my first full sentence 320 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:17,197 when they taught me how to speak again. 321 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:21,869 - * All our times have come * 322 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,270 - The woman is a maid. 323 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,872 She needs to do what I tell her to do. 324 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,139 - How will you be paying? 325 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,675 - I just said, "You can quit if you want, 326 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,878 but I can call INS if I want." 327 00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,279 That shut her up. 328 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,481 I don't know. Something about her car catching on fire. 329 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,883 The point is, she was late. 330 00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,518 So call an Uber. Exactly. 331 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,753 I mean, she walked all the way here from Guatemala, 332 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:43,590 but she can't make it a couple of miles across town? 333 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,692 - Place the ribs at a direct heat 334 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,161 and let them cook for almost two hours. 335 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,636 - I love this. 336 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,171 - Oh. - Yeah. 337 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,472 - Thanks. Thanks. 338 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,541 Yeah, I hate it on cooking shows how they start a dish 339 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,143 and then they cut to later after it's cooked. 340 00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,277 - Yeah. 341 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,013 - So all my videos are done in real time. 342 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,247 You never see that. 343 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,616 - You never see that. 344 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,218 No, and you know what? 345 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:15,688 This'll be even better in 4K Ultra HD, huh? 346 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,190 - Oh, I don't know. 347 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,492 That seems like a lot to spend on a hobby. 348 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,228 - Oh, whoa, whoa! 349 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,030 Stop calling this a hobby. 350 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,498 This is a career. - Yeah? 351 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,567 My wife kind of thinks my videos are stupid. 352 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,470 - Well, no offense, but I kind of think your wife is stupid. 353 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,940 - Oh, nice. Yeah. [both laugh] 354 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,275 But, you know, she probably wouldn't be very happy 355 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,676 if I spend any more money right now. 356 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,946 - Hey, what about what makes you happy? 357 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:41,014 You need to give yourself permission 358 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,184 to do something for yourself, just for once. 359 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,685 - That's true. 360 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:46,853 Yeah. - Huh? 361 00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:47,955 - That's true, yes. 362 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,022 - Yes? - Yes. 363 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,023 - Yes to that? - I'm gonna do it. 364 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,024 - Yes. - Yes. 365 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,960 - Why should she get time off? 366 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,428 I don't get time off from being a stepmom. 367 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,397 [Amy sighs] 368 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,199 - How's it going? 369 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,234 - [sighs] Not so great. 370 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,972 Brett sold the nacho-cheese dispenser from the cafe. 371 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,307 - The man knows how to close. - How does he do it? 372 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,976 - I don't know. And you know what? 373 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,277 This is not gonna help, 374 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:14,181 but I was this close to making a $1,000 sale, 375 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,815 and then I opened my big, fat mouth 376 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:18,785 and talked him into spending $2,000. 377 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,753 - Shut up. No way. - I did what you said. 378 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,189 I did not take "no" for an answer. 379 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,523 - Oh, my God. - And every time 380 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,158 I felt bad for the guy, I just thought, 381 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,995 "Hey, look, it's either coming out of his pocket or Amy's." 382 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,663 - Yes! Oh, my God, I love you so much right now. 383 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,865 Um, get back to work. 384 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,134 - Okay. 385 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:38,805 - [sighs] I hate balloons. - Well, we need them. 386 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,840 Balloons are like our souls. 387 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,742 They want to go up, but can't, 388 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,611 and when you pop them, they scream. 389 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,014 - Okay, I thought we were throwing this party together, 390 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,849 but, sure, let's only get things that are important to Glenn. 391 00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,151 God forbid we splurge on a piƱata 392 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,586 for the lady who woke up to her dead best friend 393 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,755 and then had to sneak him into her neighbor's garbage can 394 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,758 before trash pickup. 395 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,594 [whimpers] 396 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,199 - Okay. You really want a piƱata? 397 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,400 I have an idea. 398 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,802 - Oh, who cares? I have ideas all the time. 399 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,538 - "I wish I would've bought a Vitamix" 400 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,774 was the first thing I said when I woke up from my coma. 401 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,709 Could save your life, man. 402 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,879 - How exactly did a non-Vitamix blender put you in a coma? 403 00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,548 - That's a very offensive question 404 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,150 to ask a disabled person. 405 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:27,887 Oh, Amy's husband's here. 406 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,590 - Oh, wow. That is not what I-- 407 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:34,861 So is he, like, a-- like, a really funny guy 408 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,729 or a musician or something? 409 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,266 - I don't think so. I think he makes grill videos. 410 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,801 - [scoffs] 411 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,637 Oh, no. 412 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:45,938 No, no, no, no. 413 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:50,410 - And then we just fill it up again with candy. 414 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,513 - Yeah, I know how a piƱata works. 415 00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:58,151 Thanks. This was a good idea. 416 00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,652 - Aw. 417 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,989 - Hey, this stuffing looks like clouds. 418 00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,258 We could use this as, uh, decorations for the party. 419 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,094 - Cloud 9! 420 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,661 Look at us working together, 421 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:12,399 riffing off each other's ideas, huh? 422 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:15,368 It's kind of like jazz, you know? 423 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,771 [scatting awkwardly] 424 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,673 - [scatting] 425 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,875 - Yeah. Yeah, go, go, go. 426 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,644 - [scatting] 427 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,114 - [scatting awkwardly] 428 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,282 - Xylophone sound. 429 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,118 * We're jazzin', we're snazzin' * 430 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,619 [both scatting] 431 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,954 - Hey. - Hey. 432 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,556 - I don't think you should buy this stuff. 433 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,325 - Huh? You just said that I should. 434 00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,926 - Yeah, but then I realized, 435 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,661 what if part of the lightning in the bottle 436 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,563 you were able to capture in those videos 437 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,833 was actually the old-school grill, right? 438 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,335 - Uh, I don't think that's true. 439 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,869 - Sure, sure. You know what? 440 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,204 Hey, how about this? how about this? 441 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,805 You head out to the car, 442 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,374 and I'm gonna bring this stuff out to you. 443 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,876 - Oh, I still got to pay for it, so... 444 00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,279 - It's on me. - What? 445 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,249 - I would like to pay for this--all of it. 446 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:05,218 - What, you mean you want to, like, invest? 447 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,619 - Yeah. Yeah, I do. 448 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,588 I want to get in on the ground floor. 449 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,323 You know what? Partners? 450 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,525 - Well, what percentage are we talking? 451 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,227 - Ah, you-- whatever you think is fair. 452 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,495 We can talk about it later. 453 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,764 - No, no, no, no. I don't think so. 454 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,166 I mean, that's how people get in trouble. 455 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,834 I could see maybe going 80-20. 456 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,538 - Uh, 80-20 is a deal. You got yourself a deal. 457 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,307 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 458 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,476 I just--I'm not sure I want to give up that kind of equity. 459 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:30,543 - I don't need equity. 460 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,512 I just need you to get out of here before... 461 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:38,318 . 462 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:39,652 - We can't afford a grill right now. 463 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,389 - But we can afford for you to take 464 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,324 all the college classes in the world. 465 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,625 - Excuse me? 466 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,427 - This is not Adam's fault. This is my fault. 467 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,995 - Jonah, stay out of this. 468 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,664 Those college courses are gonna help me 469 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,401 make more money for us. 470 00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:57,036 - So will the videos. Jonah's already invested. 471 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,805 - I wouldn't use the word "invested." 472 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,072 - We're 90-10 partners. 473 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,441 - I thought you said 80-20? 474 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:02,542 Stop it, Jonah. 475 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:03,943 - For once in my life, 476 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:07,480 I want to give myself permission to do something for myself. 477 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,749 - For once in your life, Adam? 478 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,318 - Yes. - Come on. 479 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,620 What about the kickboxing gym... - Yeah. 480 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,088 - Or the reggaeton album... - Ooh. 481 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,558 - And the home-brewed beer? 482 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,993 - Wow. That is so low that you would bring that up. 483 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,962 That is still aging. - It smells. 484 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,931 - Yeah? Jonah says I have potential. 485 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,333 What about that? 486 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,700 - Oh, oh, that's what Jonah says? 487 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,769 - Tell her. 488 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,438 - Um, sorry, ma'am? 489 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,472 Crock-Pots? 490 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,742 Yes, Crock-Pots are just over here. 491 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,577 [Glenn and Dina scatting] 492 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,046 - * Many hands make for less work for everyone * 493 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,249 * Many hands make for less work for everyone * 494 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:46,653 [scatting] 495 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,955 both: * Teamwork 496 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,591 - Oh, come on, guys, I mean... 497 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,494 [light applause] 498 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,263 - So who won? 499 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,265 - Gold Team won, Myrtle. 500 00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,400 - He's told you that, like, six times. 501 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,637 - Victory is sweet. Hoo-hoo. 502 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:05,805 But you know what? 503 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,908 The real victory is that we did it together. 504 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,310 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 505 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,111 - Wait. You're on the Red Team. 506 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,647 - I'm on the Take One of Each T-shirt Team. 507 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:15,982 [chuckles] 508 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:21,153 - This feels about right as the ending to the day. 509 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,825 - [sighs] Yeah. 510 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,494 Is your husband still here? 511 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,629 - No, he went home. 512 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,931 - He seems nice. 513 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,600 - [chuckles] 514 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,435 Yeah, he is. 515 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,105 - Hey, uh, I'm really sorry about-- 516 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,974 - It's not your fault. 517 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,144 - So how'd you guys meet? 518 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,314 - I don't really want to talk about my home life. 519 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,648 - Got it. 520 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:56,956 - I was in high school, and he was a football player. 521 00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:04,564 - "You hired him. 522 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,367 "That's why, if it was up to me, I'd fire half the staff. 523 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:10,603 "No, don't put that on the cake. Glenn, make him stop. See? 524 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,339 "Not so cocky now, are you, Dina? 525 00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,206 "I swear to God, one of these days, 526 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,542 "I'm going to strangle you. 527 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:18,210 "I'd like to see... 528 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,379 "you try. 529 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:21,481 Is that a threat? You threatened me." 530 00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,353 - Is it working? 38332

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