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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,235
.
2
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:02,136
- [whimpers]
- Shh. It's gonna be okay.
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,807
- [whimpering]
4
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:10,511
- What happened?
- Jeremy died this morning.
5
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,046
- [gasps]
- No.
6
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,381
- Jeremy died?
7
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,350
- Jer--the tall guy?
He was so young.
8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,519
- Oh, I called it.
You can't be that tall and live.
9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,887
- No.
[chokes up]
10
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,922
Not stupid, tall Jeremy.
11
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,158
I wish he'd die.
12
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,227
My bird Jeremy.
13
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:30,264
One day he was alive,
and then the next...
14
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,867
[sobs]
15
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:40,608
[sighs]
16
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,177
I had him
since he was a little--
17
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,146
[holding back sobs]
18
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,548
[snorts]
19
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,283
[sobbing]
20
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,453
- Bird?
Little bird?
21
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,123
She was probably gonna
say "little bird."
22
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,126
[upbeat music]
23
00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,128
*
24
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,196
[indistinct chatter]
25
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:05,166
I'm sure he's
in a better place.
26
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,634
Right, Mateo?
27
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,702
- Yeah, I bet
he's in bird heaven.
28
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:12,005
- You think so?
But he was so violent.
29
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,674
- Damn, man,
I tried to get it off,
30
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,143
but no one would cover
my shift.
31
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,378
- I would've stayed home,
but Emma needs braces
32
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,247
and they just cut back
on Adam's hours at work,
33
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:20,714
so I need the money.
34
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,217
- Hey, maybe it won't be so bad.
Just got to let it happen.
35
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,785
- What's going on?
What's today?
36
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:28,055
- Oh, you don't know.
- K-know what?
37
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,391
- Know this.
38
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,692
Hmm.
39
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,927
Oh, thought I heard the music.
Guess I timed it wrong.
40
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:37,431
- It's Color Wars!
41
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,167
- Whoo.
[all groan]
42
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,968
- What's Color Wars?
43
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,171
- Two teams--
one gold, one red--
44
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:46,840
and whoever sells the most
by the end of the day wins.
45
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,576
- Please, I'm not
in the mood.
46
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,610
- What do we win?
47
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:54,282
- Oh, this year
the winning team gets...
48
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,949
[imitates drumroll]
49
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,018
A pizza party.
50
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,086
[all groan]
51
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,189
- Sometimes I just want
to get in my car
52
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:04,325
and drive
and drive, drive.
53
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,726
- Buckle your seat belt,
54
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,929
because you are
about to experience Cloud 9
55
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:12,400
as you have never
experienced it before.
56
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,842
[indistinct chatter]
57
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,344
- [sighs]
58
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,446
- Hey, Dina, what you doing
over here in the bleachers?
59
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,581
It's Color Wars.
60
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,283
- Do birds go to Heaven?
61
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,852
- No, they don't have souls.
62
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,688
They just become dirt.
63
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,690
- Oh.
- Okay?
64
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,892
- Okay.
65
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,397
- Hey, if it would
cheer you up,
66
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:46,267
you could help me plan
the pizza party.
67
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,302
- What's there to plan?
You're just buying a pizza.
68
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,538
- No, that's
a pizza dinner.
69
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,240
The word "party"
changes things.
70
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,375
There are
certain expectations.
71
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,609
I mean, I could do it
on my own,
72
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:58,479
but it'd be way more fun
to do with you.
73
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,281
- [clears throat]
74
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,283
All right, I'll help you
with the stupid party.
75
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,385
- But wait.
Not if you don't want to.
76
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,954
- Well, you've begged me,
so, yeah, I'll help you,
77
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:09,657
but I got to say, I've got some
major problems with your ideas.
78
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,325
- You haven't even
heard them yet.
79
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,261
- I've heard them for years.
They always suck.
80
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,728
- No, they don't.
81
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,264
Which ones?
82
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,399
- All right, now,
when you check out,
83
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,167
they're gonna ask you
if you were helped by someone
84
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,902
on the Red Team
or the Gold Team.
85
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,504
This next part's
very important.
86
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,306
I do not care.
87
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,909
[indistinct chatter]
88
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,579
- No one's into the contest.
89
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,915
- I don't think the promise
of pizza has the same effect
90
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,650
it had on us
when we were kids.
91
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,919
- It's a pizza party.
92
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,188
Besides, that's not
the only prize.
93
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:44,925
Everyone on
the winning team gets $100.
94
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,660
- What?
- Yeah.
95
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,662
- Why didn't you
tell us that before?
96
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,863
- I was saving it.
97
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,466
I wanted to have
a nice surprise incentive
98
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,901
for the end of the day.
99
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:58,406
- No, you have to tell people
about incentives beforehand.
100
00:03:58,406 --> 00:03:59,807
- Oh, okay.
101
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,310
Well, should I tell
people, then?
102
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,711
Should I make
an announcement?
103
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,946
- Um, I can.
I can do it.
104
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,116
Each member of the winning team
takes home...
105
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,318
$100.
106
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:11,752
[all gasp]
107
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,621
- I could really use
that money.
108
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,189
I've been saving up for one
of those 3D ultrasounds--
109
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:19,026
you know, the one
where the baby's all like...
110
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,329
- And the best part
is that the Red Team
111
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:24,332
doesn't even know
about the money.
112
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,634
Jonah?
- I'm sorry. Just--I don't--
113
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:29,970
I-I am a little uncomfortable
pushing people
114
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,805
to buy things
that they don't want or need.
115
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,474
[all groan]
- Seriously? Just stop it.
116
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:36,610
- I will kill myself before I go
back to 2D ultrasound, okay?
117
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,945
I will kill myself.
118
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,013
- Withdrawn.
- Okay.
119
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,115
Let's stick to departments
that play to our strengths.
120
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,684
Jenny, cosmetics
is not your--
121
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,719
[clears throat]
122
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,456
- Hey...
all: Hey.
123
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,957
- Guys.
124
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,159
- What's up, girl?
[chuckles awkwardly]
125
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,997
[vending machine whirring]
126
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:59,800
- Oh, just...
127
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,870
[bill scratching]
128
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,840
[scoffs]
129
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,877
[vending machine whirring]
130
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,747
I was putting it in wrong.
131
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,384
- * All I want to do is have fun
with my loved ones *
132
00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:19,086
* The thug ones,
relatives, and my cousins *
133
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,754
* And I got them
by the dozens *
134
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,724
* When they buzzin', quick
to say [...] your husband *
135
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,493
* This is
for my [...] locked away *
136
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,761
* Extra love for the ones
who ain't got no date *
137
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,263
* But when we hit checkmate
with Ice Cube the great *
138
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,401
* As soon as I get a word,
we can rush the safe *
139
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,403
- * Yeah
140
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,538
- * Freaky gyration
is close to fornication *
141
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:41,609
*
142
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,481
- Wow. Looks like you guys
are doing pretty good.
143
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,918
- What? Oh, pssh.
Whatever. okay.
144
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,486
Looks like somebody's
taking the competition
145
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,422
a little too seriously
all of a sudden.
146
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,457
I can't believe you're even
looking at the board, Garrett.
147
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:57,791
- Well, I wasn't.
148
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,560
I just turned my head,
and my eyeballs went with it.
149
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,228
That's how faces work,
150
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,330
but it looks like you were
studying it pretty closely.
151
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:06,867
- Um, okay, whatever you say.
152
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,436
I'm gonna go chill
in the break room.
153
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,770
Lates.
154
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,806
- "Lates"?
155
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:19,079
Hey, Mateo, you notice
anything funny about this?
156
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,583
- Big guy, tiny shirt--classic.
I already Instagrammed it.
157
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,919
- No, I mean, why is
the Gold Team selling so hard?
158
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,588
- I don't know.
159
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,923
Let me do
a little investigating.
160
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,959
- Ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow.
161
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,261
There's a $100 prize
for the winning team.
162
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:37,465
- Thank you very much.
163
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:40,601
.
164
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,235
- Obviously, don't have sex
with any of the customers,
165
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:46,173
but if a man
is under the impression,
166
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:49,142
however misguided,
that the more he buys,
167
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,546
the less impossible it might be
that he could have sex with you,
168
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,616
well, that's on him.
169
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:59,487
But, uh, you're a lady,
and I respect you.
170
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,354
- Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers,
171
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,823
we'd like to welcome
the members
172
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,626
of our Second Chances Program
in the gold T-shirts.
173
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,294
If you'd prefer to work
with someone
174
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,962
who hasn't committed
a violent crime,
175
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,498
our red-shirted employees
176
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,966
will be more than happy
to help out.
177
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:16,837
Yes, the Cloud 9
Second Chances Program--
178
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,573
'cause knowledge
is worth 100 bucks.
179
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,743
[Edwin Starr's "War"]
180
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:26,547
- * Huh, yeah
- * What is good for?
181
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,517
- * Absolutely nothing,
say it again, y'all *
182
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,019
- * War
- * Huh, huh, good God
183
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:34,387
- Dina, we have
to prioritize.
184
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,156
We don't need a piƱata.
185
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,525
- PiƱatas are awesome.
186
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:40,127
You're hitting things,
eating candy, taking turns.
187
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,161
What more do you want?
188
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,797
- Our party budget
is only $60,
189
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,033
and the tiny clown alone
is $40.
190
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,569
- We don't need a tiny clown.
191
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,371
- I already agreed to cut
the fat clown, remember?
192
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:54,842
So pretty soon this party
is gonna have zero clowns.
193
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:58,178
Is that what you want--
a party with zero clowns?
194
00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,780
- This one's twice as much,
195
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,349
but it comes
with a built-in bean hopper.
196
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,318
- Yeah, I-I doubt you'd ever use
most of these features.
197
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,687
- Are you sure?
198
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,556
'Cause I'm leaning
toward the expensive one,
199
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:12,926
and I can't stress enough,
money is no object.
200
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,428
- Honestly, unless
you're, like, a barista,
201
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,699
I think you're better off
with just a regular auto-drip.
202
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,835
- All right, I guess I'll spend
the difference on lotto tickets,
203
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,572
although, realistically, what
are my chances of winning twice?
204
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:30,878
- Jonah, so the Red Team knows
about the money now,
205
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:34,147
so it's time for the Gold Team
to stop pussyfooting around.
206
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,717
- I'm not doing that
with my feet.
207
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,385
I-I just have trouble
pressuring people
208
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,020
into buying stuff
they don't need.
209
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,388
- Well, that's selfish.
210
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,723
- Actually, I think
it's the opposite of selfish.
211
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,725
- Come on, Jonah,
you're better than this.
212
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,294
Look at the Red Team.
Brett just sold a shelf.
213
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,397
Not the items on the shelf--
he sold an actual shelf.
214
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,601
- Yeah, well, that's Brett.
Guy's a machine.
215
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,836
- Okay, look...
216
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,705
money's a little tight
for me right now.
217
00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:00,808
So maybe $100 doesn't mean
that much to you,
218
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,776
but some of us
could really use it.
219
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:06,479
So can you please start selling
people crap they don't need?
220
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,881
- Oh, no, no, no.
221
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,917
Believe me--that bean hopper
has come in handy
222
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,619
more times
than I can count.
223
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:12,853
- That's what I said.
224
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:19,259
- Gold pride?
- Gold pride.
225
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,261
- Don't take "no"
for an answer.
226
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:25,766
- And then in blue icing,
have it say, "Congratulations."
227
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,534
Got that?
228
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,670
No, not "Congratulations.
Got that?"
229
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,705
Just "Congratulations."
230
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,243
No, I don't want you to write
"Congratulations. Got that?
231
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,978
"No, not 'Congratulations.
Got that?'
232
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:40,247
Just 'Congratulations.'"
233
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,315
What do I do here?
- He doesn't know English.
234
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,351
He's just transcribing
phonetically.
235
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,286
- Well, what language
does he speak?
236
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,755
- You hired him.
237
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:50,824
That's why, if it was up to me,
I'd fire half the staff.
238
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,160
No, don't put that
on the cake.
239
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,668
- Need some help
with the grill?
240
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,336
- Uh, no, no, no, no.
I'm just browsing.
241
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,571
I already got the base model.
242
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,806
- Ah.
243
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,143
She's a beaut, huh?
244
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,880
- Yeah.
- She's a-a real beaut.
245
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,315
- Believe me--
I wish I could afford it,
246
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,984
but, I mean,
247
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,787
how much am I gonna really use
a motorized rotisserie burner?
248
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:23,223
- I use mine
all the time.
249
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:27,227
It's--it's gotten me
out of some pretty crazy jams.
250
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,396
- Are you a--
you a grill guy?
251
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,164
- So much.
252
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,201
- Okay.
Charcoal or gas?
253
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:37,938
- If you need to ask,
then you are not a grill guy.
254
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,507
- Yes, exactly. That's good.
- Yeah. Yeah.
255
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,843
- I should use that
in one of my videos.
256
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,611
- Your, uh--
What videos?
257
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,914
- I do these--these
grilling videos on YouTube.
258
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,515
It's not a--it's not
a big deal or anything.
259
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,817
- Sounds like
a big deal to me.
260
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,584
- I got nine subscribers.
- What?
261
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:52,786
- I don't even know
three of them.
262
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,955
- Wow. Total strangers.
- Yeah.
263
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,958
- That's, uh--
I guess, then, one could say
264
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,560
you almost need this.
265
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,196
- Yeah, maybe, maybe.
Let me run it by my wife.
266
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,765
I think she's around here
somewhere, and I'll--
267
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,033
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
268
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,200
Hold on. Come on.
269
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,736
Uh, let's not--
[clears throat]
270
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,370
Let's not bring a lady
into this, right?
271
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,504
This is guy stuff--
272
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,741
You know, grills, football,
273
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,777
cars, porn.
274
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,883
- Yeah, I'll just--
I'll, uh--I'll call her.
275
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,085
- Yeah, all right.
276
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:28,021
- You think you're
a bigger Minions fan than me?
277
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,158
I don't think so,
'cause if you were,
278
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,194
you would have
a Minions blanket
279
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,497
and a Minions night-light
280
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,567
and some Minions candy
281
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,636
and this princess thing.
282
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,172
[cell phone vibrates]
283
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,207
One second.
Hey, babe, what's up?
284
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,277
- Uh, yeah, yeah, I just
wanted to run something by you.
285
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,979
- Oh, I'm really busy right now.
Can it wait?
286
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,847
- Well, I was just at home,
and I realized
287
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,016
we were out of AA batteries,
so I had the--
288
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,517
- Oh, AA batteries.
I'll bring some home.
289
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,886
Okay, I love you, bye.
290
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,922
That was the head Minion,
291
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:06,093
and he told me to tell you
to tell your mom
292
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,061
to get you a new Xbox.
293
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:12,432
- Um, she couldn't talk.
[chuckles]
294
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,434
- Well...
295
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:17,604
it's, uh, not like
you didn't try, right?
296
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,806
- Yeah.
- Huh?
297
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,908
- Yeah, I tried.
- Yeah.
298
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,309
- Let's do this.
- Okay.
299
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:23,510
- Yeah.
- All right.
300
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,645
- Yeah.
- Look out, cookout.
301
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,147
[chuckles]
- What?
302
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:30,984
.
303
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,319
- Trust me,
you don't want the RX-5.
304
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,823
The Vilano Forza's
the way to go.
305
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:38,158
- The RX-5 got five spokes
on RoadPro,
306
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,459
and it's half the price.
307
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,095
- Mm, okay.
- What's that mean?
308
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:46,599
- [sighs] Look, man,
I used to own the 5, okay?
309
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,501
And it was good...
310
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,903
till the pedals came loose
311
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,205
when I was crossing
a busy street.
312
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,244
- Oh, I--
oh, I'm sorry.
313
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,912
- But, hey, you know what?
314
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,481
I like to focus
on the positive.
315
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,316
I'll ring you up
for the RX-5.
316
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:06,854
- Actually, let's go
with the Vilano.
317
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,355
- Hell, yeah!
318
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,723
And let's get you one of these
fancy racer helmets too.
319
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,994
"I wish I had a better helmet"
was my first full sentence
320
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:17,197
when they taught me
how to speak again.
321
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:21,869
- * All our times
have come *
322
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,270
- The woman is a maid.
323
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,872
She needs to do
what I tell her to do.
324
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,139
- How will you be paying?
325
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,675
- I just said,
"You can quit if you want,
326
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,878
but I can call INS
if I want."
327
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,279
That shut her up.
328
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,481
I don't know. Something
about her car catching on fire.
329
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,883
The point is, she was late.
330
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,518
So call an Uber.
Exactly.
331
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,753
I mean, she walked all the way
here from Guatemala,
332
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:43,590
but she can't make it a couple
of miles across town?
333
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,692
- Place the ribs
at a direct heat
334
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,161
and let them cook
for almost two hours.
335
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,636
- I love this.
336
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,171
- Oh.
- Yeah.
337
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,472
- Thanks. Thanks.
338
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,541
Yeah, I hate it on cooking shows
how they start a dish
339
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,143
and then they cut to later
after it's cooked.
340
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,277
- Yeah.
341
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,013
- So all my videos
are done in real time.
342
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,247
You never see that.
343
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,616
- You never see that.
344
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,218
No, and you know what?
345
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:15,688
This'll be even better
in 4K Ultra HD, huh?
346
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,190
- Oh, I don't know.
347
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,492
That seems like a lot
to spend on a hobby.
348
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,228
- Oh, whoa, whoa!
349
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,030
Stop calling this a hobby.
350
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,498
This is a career.
- Yeah?
351
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,567
My wife kind of thinks
my videos are stupid.
352
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,470
- Well, no offense, but I kind
of think your wife is stupid.
353
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,940
- Oh, nice. Yeah.
[both laugh]
354
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,275
But, you know, she probably
wouldn't be very happy
355
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,676
if I spend any more money
right now.
356
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,946
- Hey, what about
what makes you happy?
357
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:41,014
You need to give
yourself permission
358
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,184
to do something for yourself,
just for once.
359
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,685
- That's true.
360
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:46,853
Yeah.
- Huh?
361
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:47,955
- That's true, yes.
362
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,022
- Yes?
- Yes.
363
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,023
- Yes to that?
- I'm gonna do it.
364
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,024
- Yes.
- Yes.
365
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,960
- Why should she get
time off?
366
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,428
I don't get time off
from being a stepmom.
367
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,397
[Amy sighs]
368
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,199
- How's it going?
369
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,234
- [sighs]
Not so great.
370
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,972
Brett sold the nacho-cheese
dispenser from the cafe.
371
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,307
- The man knows how to close.
- How does he do it?
372
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,976
- I don't know.
And you know what?
373
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,277
This is not gonna help,
374
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:14,181
but I was this close
to making a $1,000 sale,
375
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,815
and then I opened
my big, fat mouth
376
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:18,785
and talked him
into spending $2,000.
377
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,753
- Shut up. No way.
- I did what you said.
378
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,189
I did not take "no"
for an answer.
379
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,523
- Oh, my God.
- And every time
380
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,158
I felt bad for the guy,
I just thought,
381
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,995
"Hey, look, it's either coming
out of his pocket or Amy's."
382
00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,663
- Yes! Oh, my God,
I love you so much right now.
383
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,865
Um, get back to work.
384
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,134
- Okay.
385
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:38,805
- [sighs] I hate balloons.
- Well, we need them.
386
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,840
Balloons are like our souls.
387
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,742
They want to go up,
but can't,
388
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,611
and when you pop them,
they scream.
389
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,014
- Okay, I thought we were
throwing this party together,
390
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,849
but, sure, let's only get things
that are important to Glenn.
391
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,151
God forbid we splurge
on a piƱata
392
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,586
for the lady who woke up
to her dead best friend
393
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,755
and then had to sneak him
into her neighbor's garbage can
394
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,758
before trash pickup.
395
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,594
[whimpers]
396
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,199
- Okay.
You really want a piƱata?
397
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,400
I have an idea.
398
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,802
- Oh, who cares?
I have ideas all the time.
399
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,538
- "I wish I would've
bought a Vitamix"
400
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,774
was the first thing I said
when I woke up from my coma.
401
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,709
Could save your life, man.
402
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,879
- How exactly did a non-Vitamix
blender put you in a coma?
403
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,548
- That's a very
offensive question
404
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,150
to ask a disabled person.
405
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:27,887
Oh, Amy's husband's here.
406
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,590
- Oh, wow.
That is not what I--
407
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:34,861
So is he, like, a--
like, a really funny guy
408
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,729
or a musician or something?
409
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,266
- I don't think so.
I think he makes grill videos.
410
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,801
- [scoffs]
411
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,637
Oh, no.
412
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:45,938
No, no, no, no.
413
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:50,410
- And then we just fill it up
again with candy.
414
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,513
- Yeah, I know
how a piƱata works.
415
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:58,151
Thanks.
This was a good idea.
416
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,652
- Aw.
417
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,989
- Hey, this stuffing
looks like clouds.
418
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,258
We could use this as, uh,
decorations for the party.
419
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,094
- Cloud 9!
420
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,661
Look at us
working together,
421
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:12,399
riffing off
each other's ideas, huh?
422
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:15,368
It's kind of like jazz,
you know?
423
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,771
[scatting awkwardly]
424
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,673
- [scatting]
425
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,875
- Yeah.
Yeah, go, go, go.
426
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,644
- [scatting]
427
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,114
- [scatting awkwardly]
428
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,282
- Xylophone sound.
429
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,118
* We're jazzin',
we're snazzin' *
430
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,619
[both scatting]
431
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,954
- Hey.
- Hey.
432
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,556
- I don't think
you should buy this stuff.
433
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,325
- Huh?
You just said that I should.
434
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,926
- Yeah, but then I realized,
435
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,661
what if part
of the lightning in the bottle
436
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,563
you were able to capture
in those videos
437
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,833
was actually
the old-school grill, right?
438
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,335
- Uh, I don't think
that's true.
439
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,869
- Sure, sure.
You know what?
440
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,204
Hey, how about this?
how about this?
441
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,805
You head out to the car,
442
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,374
and I'm gonna
bring this stuff out to you.
443
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,876
- Oh, I still
got to pay for it, so...
444
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,279
- It's on me.
- What?
445
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,249
- I would like to pay
for this--all of it.
446
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:05,218
- What, you mean
you want to, like, invest?
447
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,619
- Yeah. Yeah, I do.
448
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,588
I want to get in
on the ground floor.
449
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,323
You know what?
Partners?
450
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,525
- Well, what percentage
are we talking?
451
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,227
- Ah, you--
whatever you think is fair.
452
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,495
We can talk
about it later.
453
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,764
- No, no, no, no.
I don't think so.
454
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,166
I mean, that's how people
get in trouble.
455
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,834
I could see maybe going 80-20.
456
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,538
- Uh, 80-20 is a deal.
You got yourself a deal.
457
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,307
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
458
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,476
I just--I'm not sure I want to
give up that kind of equity.
459
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:30,543
- I don't need equity.
460
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,512
I just need you
to get out of here before...
461
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:38,318
.
462
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:39,652
- We can't afford a grill
right now.
463
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,389
- But we can afford
for you to take
464
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,324
all the college classes
in the world.
465
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,625
- Excuse me?
466
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,427
- This is not Adam's fault.
This is my fault.
467
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,995
- Jonah, stay out of this.
468
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,664
Those college courses
are gonna help me
469
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,401
make more money for us.
470
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:57,036
- So will the videos.
Jonah's already invested.
471
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,805
- I wouldn't use
the word "invested."
472
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,072
- We're 90-10 partners.
473
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,441
- I thought you said 80-20?
474
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:02,542
Stop it, Jonah.
475
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:03,943
- For once in my life,
476
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:07,480
I want to give myself permission
to do something for myself.
477
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,749
- For once in your life, Adam?
478
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,318
- Yes.
- Come on.
479
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,620
What about the kickboxing gym...
- Yeah.
480
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,088
- Or the reggaeton album...
- Ooh.
481
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,558
- And the home-brewed beer?
482
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,993
- Wow. That is so low
that you would bring that up.
483
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,962
That is still aging.
- It smells.
484
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,931
- Yeah? Jonah says
I have potential.
485
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,333
What about that?
486
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,700
- Oh, oh,
that's what Jonah says?
487
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,769
- Tell her.
488
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,438
- Um, sorry, ma'am?
489
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,472
Crock-Pots?
490
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,742
Yes, Crock-Pots
are just over here.
491
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,577
[Glenn and Dina scatting]
492
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,046
- * Many hands make
for less work for everyone *
493
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,249
* Many hands make
for less work for everyone *
494
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:46,653
[scatting]
495
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,955
both:
* Teamwork
496
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,591
- Oh, come on, guys,
I mean...
497
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,494
[light applause]
498
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,263
- So who won?
499
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,265
- Gold Team won, Myrtle.
500
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,400
- He's told you that,
like, six times.
501
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,637
- Victory is sweet.
Hoo-hoo.
502
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:05,805
But you know what?
503
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,908
The real victory
is that we did it together.
504
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,310
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
505
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,111
- Wait.
You're on the Red Team.
506
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,647
- I'm on the
Take One of Each T-shirt Team.
507
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:15,982
[chuckles]
508
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:21,153
- This feels about right
as the ending to the day.
509
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,825
- [sighs]
Yeah.
510
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,494
Is your husband still here?
511
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,629
- No, he went home.
512
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,931
- He seems nice.
513
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,600
- [chuckles]
514
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,435
Yeah, he is.
515
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,105
- Hey, uh,
I'm really sorry about--
516
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,974
- It's not your fault.
517
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,144
- So how'd you guys meet?
518
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,314
- I don't really want
to talk about my home life.
519
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,648
- Got it.
520
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:56,956
- I was in high school,
and he was a football player.
521
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:04,564
- "You hired him.
522
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,367
"That's why, if it was up to me,
I'd fire half the staff.
523
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:10,603
"No, don't put that on the cake.
Glenn, make him stop. See?
524
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,339
"Not so cocky now,
are you, Dina?
525
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,206
"I swear to God,
one of these days,
526
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,542
"I'm going to strangle you.
527
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:18,210
"I'd like to see...
528
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,379
"you try.
529
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:21,481
Is that a threat?
You threatened me."
530
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,353
- Is it working?
38332
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