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1
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♪
2
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:17,017
Your pal was telling a fight
story that was obviously fake
3
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,519
the other day.
- How'd you know it was fake?
4
00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:21,521
Way too much talkins.
5
00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:22,856
Yous gonna have a smoke soons?
6
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,600
I was gonna have a
smoke pretty soon, yeah.
7
00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:27,027
- I mights have a smoke now.
- Alright, I'd have a smoke.
8
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,030
Yeah... Do you want to
hear my story or what?
9
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,334
(lighter flicking)
10
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,174
- Here we go now.
- I'm down Chilean Patagonia
11
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:44,611
in Rio Serrano's finest
piscina and who do I see?
12
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,847
The ripest tittied
Chilean Patagonian
13
00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:49,549
I've ever seen and
not by a c-hair.
14
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:50,884
Oh yeah, what was her name?
15
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,628
Then she starts Frenchin'
me. Outta nowhere.
16
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:55,055
Showing you how things are done
down in Chileans Patagonias.
17
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,257
But then I feel a
tap on my shoulder.
18
00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,393
I turn around and this great big
fella, he grabs me by the collar.
19
00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:01,773
Had to be a foot taller than me.
20
00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:02,938
Couldn't believe
how tall he was.
21
00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:04,364
What was he about 250lbs?
22
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:05,899
He was 300lbs or I'm a Panda.
23
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,001
- Big boy.
- It's pandemonium.
24
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,536
So I look him, dead in the eyes,
25
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,572
and I says to him I says,
"Excuse me, big papi,
26
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:15,275
I'm busy with this senorita."
- Uh-oh.
27
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:16,543
He looks down at me...
28
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,044
He wasn't already lookin' at ya?
29
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,546
And he says to me he says,
30
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:23,616
"You're either crazy, or
you're tough as hell."
31
00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:24,784
And what did you says?
32
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:27,687
I says "Look me in
my eyes, el capitane.
33
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:29,722
I might be a bit of both."
34
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:38,198
Like, you know what I mean, like I
might be both crazy and tough as...
35
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,467
Seems like you have lots
of conversations like this
36
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,636
with really big guys rights before you
gets into a fights, ehs, McMurrays?
37
00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:45,038
(laughing)
- It didn't end there.
38
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,407
- Well, let's say it did.
- Oh, oh, oh now.
39
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,027
Are you saying you doubt that this
ever happened, Squirrelly Dan?
40
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,911
- Which times?
- Which time?
41
00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:53,580
- Yeah, which times?
- Wayne!
42
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,582
Oh keep your tits on, McMurray.
43
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:59,419
Everybody knows this sort of shit happens
down there all the time. Eh, Squirrelly D?
44
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,888
Fuck, now that I think of
it, almost exact same thing
45
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,991
happened to me last time I was down
Puerto Vallarta's Zona Romantica.
46
00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,993
Eh, Squirrelly D? (chuckling)
47
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,429
- Who's Zona Romantica?
- Oh, yeah.
48
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,598
Puerto Vallarta's
Zonas Romanticas.
49
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,818
- What happened, Wayne?
- See, I'm just standing there
50
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,302
drinkin' a beer, minding my own
business, next thing I know,
51
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:19,005
this great big prick walks up,
kicks me right in the stomach.
52
00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:22,408
He was 350lbs or
I'm a Banjo Catfish.
53
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,577
- What did you do?
- I caught his foot in the air,
54
00:02:24,677 --> 00:02:28,248
looked him dead in the eye
and I says, "Hey, muchacho...
55
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:31,284
No bueno."
- You see, Squirrelly D?
56
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,562
Did I ever tells you guys
what happeneds to me last time
57
00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:36,156
I was down Governadors Valderes?
- No, sir. You did not.
58
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,758
I was breaking the ice over
cocktails with this little chicas.
59
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:40,035
Her arms were hairier than his.
60
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,361
Sits down to tie my shoes,
61
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,795
when a literal giants...
62
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,098
He was 400lbs or I'm
a wet Pomeranian.
63
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:47,967
Walks rights up to me, smacks
the hats cleans off my heads.
64
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,569
- No!
- So I look skywards.
65
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,005
- He was big as a house.
- Looks him dead in the eyes
66
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,641
and I says to him I
says, "Gracias, Señors.
67
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,443
Mights I's has anothers?"
(chuckling) - Wicked.
68
00:02:57,544 --> 00:03:00,389
Do you wanna know what, now that I
think of it, almost the exact same thing
69
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,149
happened to me last time I was
down San Salvador de Jujuy.
70
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,018
- I remember this ones.
- Except this time,
71
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,798
it was brothers. Just
walked right up to me
72
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,130
and just started
tousling my hair.
73
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,123
7 feet and wide as
they weres talls.
74
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:11,925
These dudes flip bacon tarpless.
75
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,394
These dudes don't give a fuck.
- How'd yous handle that one?
76
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,829
I said, "Hey, hermanos,
77
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,065
you better straighten
up and fly right."
78
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,567
The peoples oughtta
know! You know.
79
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,907
You think you're going down
having a nice relaxing vacay,
80
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:25,572
down in Sudamerica, you got
another thing comin', boy!
81
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,440
Nuevo Casas Grandes.
82
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,510
- Vitorios de Conquistas.
- Jauzerio de Norte.
83
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:31,878
Voltas Redondas.
84
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,514
Oh, he was 500lbs or
I'm a Humboldt Penguin.
85
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,816
600lbs or I'm a Freshwater Eels.
86
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,219
1 metric ton or I'm a
Common House Spider.
87
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,254
- Golly.
- I says, "Hey, amigos ..."
88
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:42,822
- Compadre.
- Paisanos.
89
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,090
- Chum.
- Kick rocks.
90
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:45,225
Mind your P's and Q's.
91
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,405
Smoke 'em if you gots 'ems.
92
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:48,127
What the fuck do I
want with a caravan
93
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,830
that's got no fuckin' wheels?
- Oh! Wow.
94
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:54,234
Is that right?
- No, McMurray.
95
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,704
For fuck sakes...
- It's fucking fakes, McMurrays.
96
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,974
Well, how the fuck am I
supposed to know that?
97
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,643
Way too much talkin'.
98
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,578
(upbeat music)
99
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,587
Where's Dary?
- Quite contrary.
100
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:16,422
I didn't see him
all day yesterday.
101
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:18,391
You ever think Huey Lewis
102
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:19,892
sounds a bit like Sammy Hagar?
103
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,629
- And where's Dan?
- Right here.
104
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,564
There's a match made in heaven.
105
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:25,664
What?
106
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,533
Clear eyes, full
brims, can't lose.
107
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,111
You've always had
the Mennonite beard.
108
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,312
Now you've got
the Mennonite hat.
109
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,571
Just needs the B.O.
110
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:32,951
That usually sets
in after lunch.
111
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,375
- Check again.
- Here's Dan in this very smart
112
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:38,811
chapeau while I'm still puttin'
sunscreen on my ears like a sucker.
113
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:41,080
This guy's trendy, he's
hip, he's happenin'.
114
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,284
Pretty sure to wear that hat you've
gotta be able to run a four-minute mile.
115
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,161
You know, Dan, I'd pay
you for some fashion tips,
116
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,097
but I know how you Mennonites
like the honour system.
117
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,656
You already smell
like summer sausage.
118
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,591
This was a gifts
from Lovynas Dycks.
119
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,559
- Oh.
- Careful calling that a gift.
120
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,995
- Hope you kept the receipt.
- I'd call it a re-gift.
121
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,397
But fuck can they run.
122
00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:59,642
You know, the more times I
spends with her and her peoples,
123
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,176
the mores I see merits
in that lifestyles.
124
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,436
You know, hard
work, peace-making,
125
00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:04,937
general service towards others.
126
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,078
Yeah, and fuckin' poopin'
into a bucket in the yard.
127
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,709
Dressing for winter all summer
sounds like a great time, Dan.
128
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,744
Nothin' like the prospect
of shittin' into a hole
129
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,680
to make you wanna shake
things up a bit, eh?
130
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,117
Black flies can't get
to the backs of my ears
131
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:19,652
as easilys, neithers.
132
00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:22,088
- Jimmy Dickens, how're ya now?
- Good'n you?
133
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:24,123
- Not s'bad.
- Pretty sure to wear that hat
134
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:26,526
you've gotta be able to throw
a barn up on lunch break.
135
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:27,794
What brings you by?
136
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,128
Yous have always known me
137
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,630
as a mono-career man.
138
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,800
The auctioneering profession has
been kind to me over the years.
139
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,635
The job is in my soul.
140
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,103
But is it in my heart?
141
00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:39,472
The plot thickens
for Jim Dickens.
142
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,040
What's in your heart, big fella?
143
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,643
- Country music.
- Countrys musics?
144
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,978
Country and western music, yes.
145
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,890
- Is that right?
- Now, my love for the Boogie...
146
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,183
- The Boot Scootin?
- Yes, my love
147
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,019
of the Boot Scootin' Boogie
is no secret in these parts.
148
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,221
But what I have kept a
closely guarded secret,
149
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:58,725
is my lifelong desire to give
it a run like Brooks and Dunn.
150
00:05:58,825 --> 00:05:59,992
Get your fix like the Chicks?
151
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,128
I'm good and keen
like Jason Aldean.
152
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:03,739
Verse to the chorus
like Marens Morris.
153
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,898
No restrain like Shania Twain.
154
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:08,568
Do it for the thrill like
Vince Gill or Faith Hill.
155
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,404
But see, I wanna be better than
good like Carrie Underwood.
156
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,139
Then quit stallin',
Morgan Wallen.
157
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:15,842
- Get tryin' Luke Bryan.
- Seize the days like Ladys A's.
158
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,511
Y'all are so nice.
Like Lee Bice.
159
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:22,415
You know, Huey Lewis is supposed to
have the biggest horn in rock'n roll.
160
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,550
Oh, you know, Sammy's
got a hammer too.
161
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:27,353
My plan is to jump
in head first.
162
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,355
Write a song. Make
a music video.
163
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,257
Put it on YouTube,
see what happens.
164
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,025
That's what YouTube's
for, cowboy.
165
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,395
Just throwin' shit on the
wall and seein' what sticks.
166
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,397
Now, I know how much
yous love country music.
167
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,433
- No.
- Yous don't love country music?
168
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,835
- No.
- But... you're farmers.
169
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:44,537
- Yup.
- You wear plaid,
170
00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,239
you shovel shit,
you grow vegetables,
171
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,941
you live in the country.
You quite literally exist
172
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:50,977
in the heart of the genre.
173
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,280
But you don't love
country music.
174
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,518
Not even a bit?
- Not one bits.
175
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,453
- Not one drill bit.
- Not one bell pepper.
176
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,921
Yahtzee.
177
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,825
Well, do you wanna
know what, I guess I...
178
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,960
I guess I do like it a wee bit.
179
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,563
- That'll do!
- Yeah, a dab'll do ya.
180
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:13,232
- Everything in moderation.
- Small doses is all rights.
181
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:15,101
I need all the help I can get.
182
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,836
And when a friend
asks for help...
183
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,304
(together): You help' em.
184
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:19,939
Thank you, friends.
185
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,474
Now come.
186
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:23,176
Let's join the others.
187
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,846
The others?
188
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:32,118
- Squirrelly Dan.
- Stewrats.
189
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,653
Pretty sure to wear that hat
190
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,189
you have be able to
pickle peas with ease.
191
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,892
Who amongst us is
familiar with AI?
192
00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:41,527
Artificial intelligence.
193
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:44,197
Correct. Roald and
I were forced to use
194
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,032
artificial
intelligence because...
195
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,100
You have no actual intelligence?
196
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,503
(hissing)
- Because we possess limited
197
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,739
knowledge of country music,
Sharon, Lois and Brim.
198
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,375
- Country and western.
- How do you know what AI is?
199
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,545
That's what porno sites use to show
you what you might like to jerk off to.
200
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,113
Through the use of
AI found on the...
201
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,182
(both): Dark Web.
- Roald and I were able
202
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:06,018
to determine the two
essential elements necessary
203
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:09,121
in constructing a hit
country music song.
204
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,323
(farting)
205
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,025
The two essential elements
necessary in constructing
206
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,761
a hit country music
song are as follows.
207
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,864
Number one: a unique hook.
208
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:20,766
Which must also be used
as the title of the song.
209
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:23,135
- Thank Gods I'ms A Countrys Boys?
- Dig deeper.
210
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,670
- 5 O'clock Somewheres?
- Deeper.
211
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,772
Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy!
212
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,875
(neighing)
- Giddy-up.
213
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,844
And that particular title
teaches us a valuable lesson
214
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,647
in the process: just
because it's unique,
215
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:36,916
doesn't mean it can't be dumb.
216
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,852
Dumb is almost preferable
in a unique hook
217
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,488
for a hit country song.
- Country and western!
218
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,724
We're looking for contagious
dialogue here, people!
219
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:45,824
Quotables!
220
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,261
- She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy?
- Dumber.
221
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,162
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem?
222
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,731
- Dumber.
- I've got it.
223
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,666
Beer For My Horses.
224
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:54,967
Bingo!
225
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:57,336
Or an activity. Something
that you all do,
226
00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,338
something along the lines
of, oh I don't know...
227
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,274
Fishin' In The Dark.
228
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,910
Darts?
- I was gonna say that too.
229
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,478
It's mostly just smokin' darts.
230
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,979
But it needs to be more catchy,
231
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:08,881
more crafty, more clever.
232
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,717
Needs to be more... poetic.
233
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:14,921
How about... Smokin'
Darts In the Rain?
234
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,056
- No, you can'ts do thats.
- Because then your...
235
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,724
Because then your
dart would go out.
236
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,826
Okay, so you're smokin'
darts when it's dry.
237
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,695
Well, it'll have to
be dry to smoke 'em.
238
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:24,564
Dry darts... blue sky darts...
239
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:27,333
- Best darts are whens it's warms.
- Hot darts?
240
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,033
We're not tryin' to
fuck darts, McMurray.
241
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,336
I'll try anything once.
242
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:31,771
Smokin' in the summer...
243
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,873
- Smokin' summer darts...
- Smokin' in the sun...
244
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,075
Darts when it's sunny. It's...
245
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:37,443
(gasping)
246
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,114
(both): Sun Darts.
247
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,919
Our hit single shall
be christened...
248
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,354
Sun Darts!
249
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:49,722
It's perfect.
250
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,624
(moaning)
251
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:54,093
Katy.
- What's number two?
252
00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:55,828
What Dan takes into a bucket
253
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,368
behind the house by
the looks of him.
254
00:09:57,396 --> 00:10:00,433
The second essential
necessary element in writing
255
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,002
a hit country song? (laughing)
256
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:07,406
As much hick shit as possible.
257
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:09,709
- What?
- The goal with number two
258
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:13,279
is to trigger the emotions or
tug the heart strings of hicks.
259
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,748
And you do that by packing in
260
00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:18,884
as much hick shit
as humanly possible.
261
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:22,722
And at the top of that
list should and shall be...
262
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:25,625
yer mama, and yer daddeh.
263
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:30,529
Hyper important to any hit
country and western single:
264
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,165
yer mama, and yer daddeh.
265
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,635
What are you supposed to say
about yer mama, and yer daddeh?
266
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,003
The meaning is irrelevant.
267
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:40,439
Of importance are the
words: mama and daddeh.
268
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:43,142
So just... yer mama
and yer daddeh?
269
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,111
Well, yer mama and yer daddeh...
270
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,746
My mama and my daddeh.
271
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,382
So it could be anybody's mama
or could be anybody's daddeh?
272
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,751
Could be more than one mama
and more than one daddeh.
273
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,619
If you've got multiple
mamas and daddehs,
274
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,021
you're really rockin'.
275
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,489
Everyone loves a good story,
276
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,291
but this genre is
impossibly forgiving
277
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,927
when it comes to
logic in the message.
278
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,363
You've already got
your unique hook...
279
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:05,698
(all): Sun darts.
280
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,233
Now you need only insulate it
281
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,969
with as much hick
shit as possible.
282
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,370
Like...
- Trucks?
283
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,105
- Truck parts even.
- Dirt roadins?
284
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:14,674
- Muddin!
- Blue jeans!
285
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,375
Your favorite jean jacket.
286
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,878
Sunsets, steel toes,
swimmin' holes!
287
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,713
And there you have it!
288
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:21,814
The formula!
289
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,149
(together): What do we do now?
290
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,551
Roald and I will engross
ourselves in manufacturing
291
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:28,854
the song using AI,
algorithms and bots.
292
00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:30,523
Then...
293
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:33,826
We shall reconvene
to shoot the video.
294
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,194
Shoot the video.
295
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,798
Here's somethin', my
first time jerkin off
296
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,666
was to Shania Twain's
midriff in the video
297
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,635
for Any Man Of Mine.
298
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:45,171
Let's go, girls.
299
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,007
(rock music)
300
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,712
- Don't bother, bro.
- Huh?
301
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,580
- She's a babe.
- She's a mega babe.
302
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,282
- She's a 10ski.
- She's a 12ski.
303
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,784
- But she's unavailable.
- How do you know?
304
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,053
It's almost not worth repeating.
305
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:02,922
- What isn't?
- What she said to us
306
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:05,257
when we took a run at her.
- You took a run at her?
307
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,717
(laughing)
- Of course we did, bro.
308
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,336
You miss a hundred of
the shots you don't take.
309
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,240
- A hundred percent, buddy.
- A hundred percent?
310
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:11,597
- Hundy p.
- What did she say?
311
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,332
Well, we started
with the standard...
312
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:14,967
- He's Reilly.
- And he's Jonesy.
313
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,602
(both): And we're
from Letterkenny.
314
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:17,937
And then?
315
00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:21,073
She said they look like a
couple dads from Teen Mom.
316
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:22,374
(chuckling)
- Really?
317
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,743
Then she said they look like
318
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,377
if Dorito's made humans.
319
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,581
Then she asked me if I'd ever been
told I look like Charly Hunnam.
320
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,983
And I said no. And
then she said...
321
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,551
I said you didn't let me finish.
322
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,855
You look like Charly Hunnam's
funhouse mirror reflection.
323
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:38,390
- Almost not worth repeating.
- You look like Charlie Hunnam
324
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,993
if he was born in Chernobyl.
- Last time we try to wheel you.
325
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,929
I've seen better wheels on
a Dodge Neon at the dump.
326
00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:47,133
Hey, are you that
really funny guy
327
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,544
my brother was telling me about
from the bar the other night?
328
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,737
- I don't think so.
- I think you are.
329
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:57,576
Six feet tall, blue
cover-alls, cute curly hair.
330
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:59,912
It's Daryl, right?
- Yes.
331
00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:02,214
- I'm Harley.
- Oh, like Harley Davidson?
332
00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:04,917
I was named after
Topper Harley, actually.
333
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:08,287
You wanna come to a party?
334
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,494
While Dick Skin
rehearses the number,
335
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,196
we shall tackle the video.
336
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,632
Through the use of polling.
- Mmm, polling.
337
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,033
- Roald.
- Stewart.
338
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,011
Roald and I were able to
determine the two essential
339
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:26,605
elements necessary in constructing
a hit country music video.
340
00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:29,809
Remember when you said the
first time you ever jerked off
341
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,344
was to Shania Twain's
video for Any Man Of Mine?
342
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,513
- Yeah.
- I'd have thought you'd said...
343
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:36,115
That Don't Impress Me Much?
344
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:37,850
No, I'd have thought
that he'd said...
345
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,286
If You're Not In It For Love.
- I'm Outta Here?
346
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:43,455
Yeah, If You're Not In It
For Love, I'm Outta Here.
347
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,625
She was pretty sexy in the video
for Man I Feel Like A Woman.
348
00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:49,028
- Too many dudes in that one.
- Funny you mention it.
349
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,696
Because the first
time I ever jerked off
350
00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:52,631
was to that Shania Twain video.
- Roald.
351
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,333
I thought, isn't this funny?
352
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:57,469
Who'd have thought I'd be jerking
off to a Shania Twain video?
353
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,839
(laughing)
354
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,676
Number one! Man stuff.
355
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,278
- What's man stuffs?
- Come here, I'll show ya.
356
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,681
Well, basically, things
that yous would do
357
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:12,284
every single day of your
lives, but things Roald and I
358
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:17,289
may never do in the entirety
of our existence... ces.
359
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:19,758
- Such as?
- Fixin' your truck.
360
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,861
- Shootin' skeet.
- Cookin' meat.
361
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,629
- Fishin'.
- Arm wrasslin'.
362
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,998
Chuckin' the ol'
pig skin around.
363
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,133
Just hawkin' a big
loogie. (spitting)
364
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:30,803
- Starting a fire.
- Maybe putting a little
365
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,338
sunscreen on each others backs.
366
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,339
Swingin' an axe.
367
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,840
Take a nice dip
in the lake after.
368
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,709
- Chugging a beer.
- Maybe a shirtless
369
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:37,986
shoving match
after. I don't know.
370
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:40,079
(laughing)
371
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,348
We're gonna shoot you guys
372
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,017
performing a plethora
of man stuff.
373
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,719
An abundance of man stuff.
374
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,888
An overabundance of man stuff.
375
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,522
A super abundance!
376
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:54,426
But for now...
just smokin' darts.
377
00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:56,962
Just smokin' darts in
this parts of the yards?
378
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,531
Right there, this part
of the yard. In the sun.
379
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,434
Why would we come out to this part
of the yard just to smoke some darts?
380
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:05,037
Wanna know what, I can remember
actually smoking multiple darts
381
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:06,777
at the same time in
this part of the yard.
382
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,908
- That's called poly-dartins.
- Polly Dartin!
383
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,776
That was my drag name briefly.
384
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,311
I was workin' 6 to 9.
385
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,413
But wait. What's the
number two thing?
386
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:15,848
What Dan takes into a bucket
387
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,659
behind a big Maple tree,
by the look of him.
388
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,794
The second essential element
necessary in constructing
389
00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:22,388
a hit country music video.
- Stewart.
390
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:27,793
Babes.
391
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,795
You ever been out here before?
392
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:31,196
I'm from Donegal.
393
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:33,365
Everyone there says if
you're coming to Letterkenny,
394
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:35,434
this is the spot.
395
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,503
See anyone you know?
396
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:42,574
- No.
- Daryl!
397
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:44,743
(laughing)
398
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:48,580
That stuffed shirt can suck
cold shit through a wool sock!
399
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:49,982
He's been saying that all week.
400
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,784
I see you met my sister.
401
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,752
This is the dude who
owes me a shot, right?
402
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:55,587
Can confirm. How'd
you find him?
403
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,489
Who says good men
are hard to find?
404
00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,059
I got one for you, big chief.
405
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,261
You take your sister
to the plowing match
406
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,396
and everyone tries to
plow her! (laughing)
407
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,931
Daryl.
408
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:10,069
I thought you said you
didn't know anyone here?
409
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,938
- He's an acquaintance.
- An acquaintance?
410
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,107
I'm hurt by that, Daryl.
411
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:17,276
There was a time you
thought I was a good guy.
412
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:18,720
Thought you were
a really good guy.
413
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,479
You thought I was a great guy.
414
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:23,082
But now you think
I'm just a... what?
415
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:24,650
He said acquaintance.
416
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,885
You've walked right into
the lion's den, Daryl.
417
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:30,222
Lion's Den? I thought it
was called The Mansion?
418
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:34,360
It was.
419
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:37,529
Right before we started
calling it The Palace.
420
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:41,567
For a short while there,
we called it The Kingdom.
421
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,937
But now it's The Lion's Den.
422
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:46,939
Yous seem a bit on edge, gents.
423
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,341
Care to smoke a gate way?
- Yeah, sort yourselves out.
424
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:51,610
- He ain't one of us.
- One of who?
425
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,145
- Us.
- Us or yous?
426
00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,080
- Us and yous.
- So we're us?
427
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,016
- You're yous.
- And we're yous?
428
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,118
- We're yous.
- Wait, what are yous?
429
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,754
- Us.
- We're all us.
430
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,323
Except Daryl.
- A hick.
431
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,091
- I'm a hick.
- I'm a hick.
432
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:08,527
No, Daryl has a
different name for us.
433
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:10,496
What is it you call us, Daryl?
434
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,032
Go on.
435
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:16,268
Tell your new pals what it
is you hicks like to call us.
436
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,838
Degens.
437
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:25,511
Sure. Sure.
438
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,079
Yeah, I always
thought I was a hick,
439
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,881
but I guess I could
be a bit of a degen.
440
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,516
I'm a bit of a degen too.
441
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,218
You know what...
442
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,155
So is Daryl, he's a degen.
443
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,456
No, I'm not.
444
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:39,958
You're still in
your barn clothes.
445
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,661
A hot-ass girl invites
you out to a party.
446
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,672
- You mean, your sister?
- And you didn't even think
447
00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,432
to change out of
your muddy rubbers?
448
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,967
That's shit on those rubbers.
449
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,502
Even more degen of him.
450
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:53,072
- But I don't mind.
- Your hair's dirty.
451
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,350
Teeth are yellow. You got food
down the front of your shirt
452
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,242
and even wiped your
nose on your sleeve.
453
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:58,844
The smell of darts on you
454
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:01,280
is more overpowering
than the manure stink.
455
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,415
Look around, good buddy.
456
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,885
You don't stand
out. You fit in!
457
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:09,922
I think it's about time you start
looking at yourself in the mirror.
458
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,057
Like, you always thought
you were a hick, but...
459
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:14,726
you're a degen.
460
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:18,630
Folks, you've always known
me as a mono-career man.
461
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:22,734
The auctioneering profession has
been kind to me over the years.
462
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,503
The job is in my soul.
463
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:28,907
But the amount of time I've spent
denying what is truly in my heart...
464
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:33,078
Well, frankly, it
sickens Jim Dickens.
465
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,747
This week, and
throughout this journey,
466
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:38,817
I have truly learned that
when a friend asks for help,
467
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,586
well, gosh darn, you help them.
468
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:44,156
Thank you to all of my friends.
469
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,691
- And AI.
- Algorithms!
470
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,759
- Bots!
- Them too.
471
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,428
Thank you.
472
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:52,264
Today, I give it a run
like Brooks and Dunn.
473
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,665
Get your fix like the Chicks.
474
00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:55,934
I'm good and keen
like Jason Aldean.
475
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,803
Verse to the chorus
like Marens Morris.
476
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,771
No restrain like Shania Twain.
477
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,441
Do it for the thrill like
Vince Gill or Faith Hill.
478
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,844
But see, I wanna be better than
good like Carrie Underwood.
479
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,813
Then quit stallin',
Morgan Wallen.
480
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:09,481
Yeah, get tryin' Luke Bryan.
481
00:19:09,581 --> 00:19:11,150
Seize the days like Ladys A's.
482
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,186
Y'all are so nice.
Like Lee Bice.
483
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:15,654
So you don't think Huey Lewis
484
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,156
sounds a wee bit
like Sammy Hagar?
485
00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,859
Ladies and gentlemen,
without further adieu...
486
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,864
We're talking about Sun Darts.
487
00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:28,100
(applause)
488
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,302
{\an8}(country music playing)
489
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,084
♪ Her daddy was a drifter ♪
490
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,220
♪ Her momma just wasn't right ♪
491
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:53,258
♪ Her brother said forgive her
But her sister put up a fight ♪
492
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:56,428
♪ But when the moon goes
down and the lights come up ♪
493
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,963
♪ It's a lonely one ♪
494
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:03,502
♪ If you need me I'll be
smoking darts in the sun ♪
495
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,674
♪ Talkin' bout sun darts ♪
496
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,009
♪ Talkin' bout broken hearts ♪
497
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:13,946
♪ Talkin' bout teenage
love and truck parts ♪
498
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,682
♪ Talkin' bout county
fairs and golf-karts ♪
499
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:21,220
♪ Take me right back to
the start Sun darts ♪
500
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,121
♪ Woo ♪
501
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,931
♪ Steel toe, country livin'
Softball, Southern women ♪
502
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,400
♪ Dirt bike, hitch hike,
big pike, fuckin' right ♪
503
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,036
♪ Muddin, pissin, huggin, kissin,
freaky techno music dissin' ♪
504
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:40,305
♪ Just my high school
sweetheart that I'm missin' ♪
505
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:44,176
♪ I might be too
drunk to fire a gun ♪
506
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:49,815
♪ So if you need me I'll be
smoking darts in the sun ♪
507
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,886
♪ Talkin' bout sun darts ♪
508
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,589
♪ Talkin' bout broken hearts ♪
509
00:20:57,689 --> 00:21:00,726
♪ Talkin' bout teenage
love and truck parts ♪
510
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,961
♪ Talkin' bout county
fairs and golf-karts ♪
511
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,864
♪ Take me right
back to the start ♪
512
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,666
♪ Sun darts ♪
513
00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:18,443
♪ Talkin' bout sun darts ♪
514
00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:23,415
♪ Yer mama and yer daddeh ♪
515
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:26,785
♪ I'm talkin' bout sun darts ♪
516
00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:28,687
♪ Talkin' bout sun darts ♪
517
00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:33,425
♪ Yer mama and yer daddeh ♪
518
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,464
♪ Talkin' bout sun darts ♪
519
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:44,136
♪ Yer mama and yer daddeh ♪
520
00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:51,009
♪ Yeah I might be too
drunk to fire a gun ♪
521
00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:57,015
♪ So if you need me I'll be
smoking darts in the sun ♪
522
00:21:57,115 --> 00:21:59,818
♪ Out there with everyone ♪
523
00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:02,120
♪ Talkin' bout sun darts ♪
524
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:04,790
♪ Talkin' bout broken hearts ♪
525
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:07,459
♪ Talkin' bout teenage
love and truck parts ♪
526
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:10,195
♪ Talkin' bout county
fairs and golf-karts ♪
527
00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,764
♪ Take me right
back to the start ♪
528
00:22:12,864 --> 00:22:14,800
♪ Hell yeah sun darts ♪
529
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:17,302
♪ Talkin' bout broken hearts ♪
530
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:20,172
♪ Talkin' bout teenage
love and truck parts ♪
531
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:23,041
♪ Talkin' bout county
fairs and golf-karts ♪
532
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:25,877
♪ Take me right
back to the start ♪
533
00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:27,846
♪ Sun darts ♪
534
00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:39,057
♪ Steel toe, country livin'
Softball, Southern women ♪
535
00:22:39,157 --> 00:22:41,493
♪ Dirt bike, hitch hike,
big pike, fuckin' right ♪
536
00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:44,129
♪ Muddin, pissin, huggin, kissin,
freaky techno music dissin' ♪
537
00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:46,631
♪ Just my high school
sweetheart that I'm missin' ♪
538
00:22:46,732 --> 00:22:50,569
♪ I might be too
drunk to fire a gun ♪
539
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:56,074
♪ So if you need me I'll be
smoking darts in the sun ♪
540
00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:00,112
Subtitling: difuze
541
00:23:00,162 --> 00:23:04,712
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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