Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,417
-(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-NARRATOR: Previously,
2
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,545
on a very special season
of Clone High.
3
00:00:03,546 --> 00:00:05,963
Joan tried to kill her friends
in the Death Maze
4
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,132
and that was social suicide.
To be clear,
5
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,717
-no one actually got hurt...
-(PARTY HORN HONKS)
6
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,385
...except
The Board of Shadowy Figures,
7
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,388
who were all assassinated.
8
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:16,099
On a lighter note,
Abe and JFK are friends now.
9
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:18,935
Lots of clones found love
and it didn't take 20 years
10
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,894
for the new season
to come out this time.
11
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,813
We're getting the hang
of this thing, people.
12
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,316
Are we countin' our chickens?
Yep.
13
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,235
Now, watch 'em hatch.
14
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,638
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
15
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,822
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
16
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,045
(SMOOCHING, MOANING)
17
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:38,496
(BOTH MOANING)
18
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,331
Okay, welcome back
19
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,063
to a brand new year
at Clone High!
20
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:45,337
-How was everyone's summer?
-You kept me in a box.
21
00:00:45,338 --> 00:00:47,296
That's all the time we have
for sharing.
22
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,840
Now, things got a little crazy
23
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,676
at the end of last term,
what with the Death Maze,
24
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,305
the elaborate musical numbers,
etcetera, etcetera.
25
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:58,308
So, we gotta cool it.
Just do some actual schoolwork.
26
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,601
How does that sound?
27
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:03,021
It sounds like you blew
your budget on the Death Maze
28
00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,854
and don't have the funds
to treat us
29
00:01:04,855 --> 00:01:08,026
like experimental rats anymore.
Am I right, guys?
30
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,401
-(DESKS SCREECH)
-(STUDENTS GRUNT)
31
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,320
He's not the one
who was trying to kill us.
32
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,782
Normally, you hate the game
and not the player
33
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:14,949
but this is opposite.
34
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,158
(BOTH MOAN)
35
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:19,871
Okay, bring your desks
back together in front of Joan,
36
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,872
-blocking her from my view.
-(DESKS SCREECH)
37
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,374
PRINCIPAL SCUDWORTH:
Yep, yep, yep, that's right.
38
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,459
Now, does anyone know
39
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:26,085
where we keep
the science textbooks?
40
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,213
Anyone?
Not one person, including me.
41
00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,880
-Pathetic.
-JOAN OF ARC: What the...
42
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:31,681
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
43
00:01:32,219 --> 00:01:35,427
-Hmm?
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
44
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,054
You know,
in the spirit of learning,
45
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,014
I would love to show everyone
the independent study project
46
00:01:40,015 --> 00:01:41,725
-I did on magnets this summer.
-(ELECTRICITY ZAPS)
47
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:42,851
-Boo!
-STUDENT: No, thanks.
48
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,020
Can't we just sit here?
49
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,896
I'd like to learn about magnets.
50
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:48,232
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Toussaint Louverture.
51
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,734
Yes, my latest creation!
52
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,734
The new sensation
that's sweeping the nation,
53
00:01:51,735 --> 00:01:53,238
who also happens to be Haitian.
54
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:55,614
Listen, I'll be doing
the teaching here, okay?
55
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,825
And let's start it off
56
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,744
with an edutaining freestyle
on peptides.
57
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,620
Ah, wikki, wikki, wah,
wikki, wah, wah-
58
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,791
-(SCREAMS)
-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
59
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,750
(STUDENTS CHEER)
60
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,419
The labels on these say,
"Don't shoot indoors."
61
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,087
You wanna know
who writes these labels?
62
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,673
Know-it-alls like him.
63
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,759
-(SCREAMS, GROANS)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
64
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,095
I'm sorry.
What the hell is this?
65
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,764
I'm the new Science teacher,
Professor Hirsute.
66
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,434
And I tend
to go a little outside the box.
67
00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:24,309
Did you say
your name was Hair-suit?
68
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,270
It's pronounced "Her-suit,"
and if you don't know
69
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,273
what it means,
I suggest you look it up!
70
00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:30,482
-(KEYS CLACKING)
-It kinda does mean hair suit.
71
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,861
Yes! See?
You were right all along.
72
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:35,404
Trust your instincts.
That's a point for this guy.
73
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,781
Babe, I got a point!
74
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,284
Believe me, this schtick's
gonna get old fast,
75
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,244
the flowing hair,
the tweed jacket,
76
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:44,414
-his patent leather satchel-
-Don't touch my satchel!
77
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,506
(SCREAMING)
78
00:02:45,507 --> 00:02:46,623
-What the hell?
-Hey.
79
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,292
-He tried to touch his satchel.
-(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
80
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,835
Sorry, we're late.
We were rasslin'
81
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,464
-in the bathroom. (LAUGHS)
-(LAUGHS) Oh, you know,
82
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,017
givin' each other zerberts
and other manly junk.
83
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,259
I'm not mad.
84
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,844
-What?
-You're not?
85
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,305
Not even close.
In fact, I'm giving you both
86
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,308
two points each for doing
what made sense to you.
87
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,479
I'm losing now, babe.
I gotta get more points!
88
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,732
So, let me get this straight.
We got rewarded for being late?
89
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:13,318
You got rewarded for thinking
for yourselves.
90
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,985
See, I don't care
about things like,
91
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,336
"Showing up on time"
as long as you come in here
92
00:03:17,337 --> 00:03:18,906
-with an open mind...
-(SNORING)
93
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:22,160
...and a beautiful mind
and a dangerous mind
94
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,829
and you stand and you deliver.
95
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:28,208
That actually makes me
want to be on time!
96
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,002
He seems too cool for school,
yet here he is!
97
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,004
Question
for my two superstars here.
98
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,047
Should we be done
with class for the day?
99
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,098
-Yes!
-Yes!
100
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,219
-Go on, get outta here.
-(STUDENTS CHEER)
101
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:45,183
And now, a funky jam
about peptides! (BABBLES)
102
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,892
("CLONE HIGH THEME SONG"
BY ABANDONED POOLS PLAYING) ♪
103
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:51,231
Way, way back in the 1980's
Secret government employees ♪
104
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,025
Dug up famous guys
And ladies ♪
105
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:57,153
And made amusing
Genetic copies ♪
106
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,864
Then the clones
As teens were frozen ♪
107
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,826
Thawed out decades later
Why? ♪
108
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:05,870
Back for reasons
They're not disclosin' ♪
109
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:12,127
Giving high school
Another try ♪
110
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:18,382
It's time
To watch Clone High ♪
111
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:24,055
Energetic and engaging
Clone High ♪
112
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:30,353
Our angst is entertaining
Clone High ♪
113
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:33,982
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
114
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,275
-Look at that moron...
-(BELL RINGING)
115
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,028
...clutching
his timeless satchel!
116
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,238
Mr. B! Call
the Board of Shadowy Figures!
117
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,449
I must get
to the bottom of this!
118
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,283
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(LINE RINGING)
119
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,994
What do you want, Cinnamon?
120
00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:47,661
Candide?
What are you doing there?
121
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,330
I've become sole member
of the Board of Shadowy Figures
122
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,207
ever since the others
were murdered.
123
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,711
Well, I took two weeks off
after the murders
124
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:57,255
and then I started.
That's why I'm tan.
125
00:04:57,256 --> 00:05:00,924
My God, you're the first woman
to ever fail upward.
126
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:01,975
Congratulations!
127
00:05:01,976 --> 00:05:03,635
We have a problem
with the new science teacher.
128
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,263
I hate him and his stupid face.
129
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,390
I hired him
for a reason, Scudworth.
130
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,100
No one is to touch him
131
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,644
or the finely crafted satchel
from Firenze
132
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,022
he carries so stylishly
at his side.
133
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,775
He's to have carte blanche
at the school.
134
00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:18,901
-That's an order.
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
135
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,071
(GROANS) He thinks he's so cool.
136
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:24,115
-It's like, quit trying so hard.
-Pathetic.
137
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,077
I know, right?
I can try way harder than that.
138
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:35,669
-(SCREAMS) How's it look?
-Infected.
139
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,629
But, like, dope, right?
140
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,381
I'm gonna lie down.
141
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,590
(THUDS)
142
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,134
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
143
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,770
-Hello?
-(GROWLING)
144
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:57,232
What is this place?
What is going on? (SCREAMS)
145
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,818
We're the Bleacher Creatures.
146
00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:01,318
-Roll call!
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
147
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:04,447
My name is Topher
I'm an ally ♪
148
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,534
Nobody likes me
I do not know why ♪
149
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,453
My name is Ivan
And I'm terrible ♪
150
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,995
-(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪
-Okay, okay, stop, stop!
151
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,497
I don't need a roll call song,
thank you.
152
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,543
I just want to know
what you're doing down here?
153
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,712
We're the outcasts! The misfits!
154
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:23,341
I'm Jackée The Ripper.
Nice to meet you, Mary.
155
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,301
I'm actually- I'm- I'm Joan.
156
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,261
Everyone thinks
that Jack the Ripper was a man
157
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,513
but it was me,
158
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:32,475
a lady with a lust for blood
and nail art! (CHUCKLES)
159
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,352
Men aren't
the only serial killers.
160
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,603
-Right, Lizzie Borden?
-Affirmative. (CHUCKLES)
161
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,897
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-And you can be one of us.
162
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,276
(CHUCKLES)
I haven't fallen that far.
163
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:44,738
Oh, come on, Joan.
You're a clone alone.
164
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:46,572
You're clearly
craving companionship.
165
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,867
-You have no friends!
-Thanks?
166
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:52,162
Being a Bleacher is a hoot.
We're about to select our logo!
167
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:56,041
We've got the anarchy A's.
Classic, but is it played out?
168
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,376
Satanist vibe.
Maybe a little preachy.
169
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,879
Dripping with blood.
Dripping with irony.
170
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,505
And all of our butts.
171
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,197
We're gonna tag the winning
design all over school,
172
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,718
so let's get it right, Marys.
173
00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,969
Joan, if you join
our little group of pariahs,
174
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:12,140
-you get a vote.
-(SIGHS) Can I think about it?
175
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,849
Of course.
We just need you to sign
176
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,410
our non-disclosure agreement.
177
00:07:15,411 --> 00:07:17,478
-We're very litigious.
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
178
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,606
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
179
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,859
Learning doesn't happen
by reading books.
180
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,444
It happens
by experiencing the world!
181
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,445
Oh, I've never had
a favorite teacher before.
182
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,906
He sees something in me
and that makes me feel special.
183
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,910
-I just want more points!
-Outdated teaching methods.
184
00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:33,952
That's the problem
with these urban schools
185
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,913
that you poor,
underprivileged teens
186
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,957
-have to attend.
-We live in the suburbs.
187
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,669
-Our school is very well funded.
-(ROCKET WHIZZES)
188
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:43,295
You just don't like him
because you're a rule follower
189
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,714
and he's a rule breaker.
190
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,926
Yeah, you're by the book
and he likes to burn the books.
191
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,720
Books are sort
of famously a bad thing to burn!
192
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:53,430
Five points for anyone
who helps me burn these books!
193
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,475
I found
some worthless old kindling.
194
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,560
That's my science project!
195
00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:00,647
-I got some gasoline!
-I got some matches!
196
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,191
-Confucius, no!
-Babe, I need the points!
197
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,902
What?
198
00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:08,112
-Oh, fire is spreading.
-I'll get some water.
199
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,614
No, come on. Books tell you
to fight fire with water!
200
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,867
-(GUN COCKS)
-And books can go to hell!
201
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,788
The fire just doubled in size!
202
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,915
Therefore,
it'll burn out doubly fast.
203
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,418
Which is why we fight fire
with fire!
204
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,294
That's our time.
See you tomorrow!
205
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,166
Am I the only one who thinks
this guy is dangerous at all?
206
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,133
You're not alone.
207
00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:30,134
Toussaint Louverture.
I never thanked you
208
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,136
for having my back
in class yesterday.
209
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,304
Like my clone father,
210
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,640
I would give my life
for a righteous cause.
211
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,976
Therefore, it is I
who has to thank you
212
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,477
for giving me purpose,
Harriet Tubman.
213
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,813
Oh, my. (CHUCKLES)
214
00:08:41,895 --> 00:08:43,773
-Oh, my, as well.
-(SCREAMING)
215
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,901
Why is the forest on fire?
216
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,279
This isn't
the western United States.
217
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,156
-Or is it?
-(DOOR OPENING)
218
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:55,827
Welcome to my cool office!
It's so casual and hip.
219
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,009
Did you see my earring?
220
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,163
(ECHOING SCREAMING)
221
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,539
It's a bit infected
222
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,666
but it's still bitching,
am I right?
223
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,377
You've been bitching
about it all day.
224
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,503
Professor Hirsute
is a terrible teacher
225
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,756
and not just because
he wears blazers with jeans!
226
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,425
Someone's going to get hurt!
227
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,068
Hirsute might be opening minds
228
00:09:12,069 --> 00:09:13,844
but he's filling them
with garbage!
229
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:16,598
I knew it!
Come to my secret hiding place.
230
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,017
I believe we're being watched.
231
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,436
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
232
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,315
The secret is in that
233
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,192
casually luxurious satchel
of his.
234
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,735
You must get it from him!
235
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,738
We'll snatch the satchel.
That's fun to say.
236
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,366
I'd do it
but I'm being watched by the man
237
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:36,033
and the man
is a genderless lizard
238
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,369
with a stethoscope.
239
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,621
(HISSES)
240
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,499
Get the satchel
and you'll find the evidence
241
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,377
that can take
that cocky Mr. Kotter down,
242
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:48,546
making me the coolest
faculty member again.
243
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,215
Ahem.
244
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,546
-Right, snackpacks?
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
245
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,010
See, you get it.
246
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,719
Here, take this cheap
knockoff satchel
247
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,410
that I purchased
on Canal Street.
248
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,558
Which I definitely knew
was fake the whole time.
249
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,727
You paid 360-
250
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,397
I knew it was fake, okay?
251
00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:07,606
-(ROCK SONG PLAYING) ♪
-(WHIMPERS)
252
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,569
As you can see, I, uh, er, just
disproved water displacement
253
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:15,573
and buoyancy
by giving this nerd a swirly.
254
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,784
Impressive, Kennedy.
Five points!
255
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,081
(CHOMPS, GULPS) Professor,
look at me! I was told that
256
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:26,084
eating magnets was deadly,
yet I am still alive.
257
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,210
Another myth busted!
258
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,983
-(GULPS)
-Well done, Confucius.
259
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,505
(SWALLOWS)
260
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,178
Professor, look! I'm staring
directly at the sun,
261
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,177
and it doesn't hurt.
It's just beautiful! (GRUNTS)
262
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,597
Hear that? Those are for you.
263
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,976
You freed your minds, gentlemen.
Now let them run wild.
264
00:10:42,977 --> 00:10:44,435
CONFUCIUS: There's snow
on a mountaintop,
265
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,770
so hot air doesn't rise!
266
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:46,937
PROFESSOR HIRSUTE:
Oh, I like it!
267
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,355
JFK: The Big Bang Theory
didn't start everything,
268
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,857
-Young Sheldon did!
-PROFESSOR HIRSUTE: Oh, yeah!
269
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,275
ABE LINCOLN: Lefty tighty,
righty loosey!
270
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,110
-PROFESSOR HIRSUTE: Keep it up!
-CONFUCIUS: Deep state,
271
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,486
-dark web!
-JFK: Dark state, deep web!
272
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,989
(CHUCKLES) Just look
at all the truth you've found!
273
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,618
Uh, Professor, I'm just curious
who has the most points.
274
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:02,786
Yeah, and what exactly
does the winner win?
275
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,496
Abe thinks
it's a chocolate factory.
276
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,624
I told you that in confidence!
(SCREAMS)
277
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,658
Boys, the winner will assist me
in a public demonstration
278
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,880
exposing the biggest myth
of all time.
279
00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:13,714
And since your scores
are all tied at the moment,
280
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,551
this next question decides it.
Are you ready?
281
00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:17,760
-Oh, my God!
-This is it!
282
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,271
-I'm so nervous!
-Right now,
283
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,307
I'm holding something
in my hand. If gravity is real,
284
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,809
it should fall when I drop it,
correct?
285
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,561
-Uh...
-ABE: Um...
286
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,480
-Yes!
-Yes, correct!
287
00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:30,356
-Yes! I was gonna say yes.
-Yes! I also say yes.
288
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:35,278
And now, a moment of truth.
I present to you, gravity.
289
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,280
(BIRD TWEETS)
290
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,198
-(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-It didn't fall!
291
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,493
That means there's no such thing
as gravity!
292
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,579
-Correct!
-Wait, gravity doesn't exist?
293
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,998
(LAUGHS) I know, right?
294
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,043
What? Haven't you ever seen
old ladies' knockers?
295
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,003
(SCOFFS) I wish!
Well, Confucius,
296
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:54,338
you'll have the honor
of assisting me tomorrow.
297
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,590
We're gonna show
all those academic elitists
298
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,342
who've given me
fake contact information
299
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,678
through the years
that they should have listened.
300
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,513
You're gonna be rich
and famous, my friend.
301
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:03,640
I'm already rich.
302
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,850
Then you're gonna be famous
and famous.
303
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,584
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
304
00:12:08,585 --> 00:12:12,147
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-There he is!
305
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,078
How are we gonna snatch
that satchel?
306
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:15,443
I told you it was fun to say.
307
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,362
He's got to put it down
some time.
308
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,663
-(GULPS)
-Jackpot.
309
00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:28,205
-We'll have to come back.
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
310
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,832
Later tonight. I'll pick you up
at your house.
311
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,127
At my house? (STAMMERS)
Oh, of course.
312
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:35,255
You can pick me up.
At night. At my house.
313
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,465
Yeah, like, what-
what's the attire?
314
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,300
-Hey, babe.
-(SCREAMS) Hey, babe.
315
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:40,718
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) What's up?
316
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:41,969
You ever have a big secret
317
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,722
you want to tell the person
you love but you just can't?
318
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:46,516
No,
and that's a weird thing to ask.
319
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,142
Why would you ask that?
I wonder.
320
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,562
Well,
'cause I do have a big secret.
321
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,863
It's gonna make me famous.
322
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,734
Oh, yeah, right, okay.
Um, you have a secret. Right.
323
00:12:55,735 --> 00:12:58,902
Wait, this doesn't have anything
to do with Professor Hirsute,
324
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,713
does it?
I don't want you to get hurt.
325
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:03,450
I'm sworn to secrecy on that.
But I will say this.
326
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:06,077
I ate magnets,
and I'm feeling fine. Bye, bae!
327
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,581
-(ELECTRICITY ZAPS)
-(GRUNTS, LAUGHS)
328
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,169
All right, Lizzie.
329
00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:16,211
Let's throw up
the first transparency.
330
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,339
(LAUGHS)
331
00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:19,173
Okay, what are we thinking
about the red?
332
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,343
Kinda gets lost in the brick.
333
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,095
It needs to pop like a zit
on my eyelid.
334
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:28,266
I'm hearing no on the red.
Next option?
335
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,810
So we're not actually tagging
the wall.
336
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,274
We're just picking colors?
337
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,273
Mm-hmm. And frankly,
I don't think we've got it yet.
338
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,942
So, that's a no from Jackée
on the blue.
339
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,485
IVAN THE TERRIBLE:
It's a fuck no from me.
340
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,278
TOPHER BUS: A simple "no"
would have been fine, Ivan.
341
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,948
(GIGGLES, SMOOCHES)
342
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,950
Hey, Frida! Hey, Cleo!
343
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,286
-(CYCLE BELL RINGS)
-(SMOOCHING, MOANING)
344
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,789
Joan, we're looking
at a hot pink here?
345
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,375
-Really need you to weigh in.
-(SIGHS)
346
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,877
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
347
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,130
Ooh! A mo-ped. Or is it moped?
348
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,133
So European! I've never been
on one of these before.
349
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:04,386
-Is it safe?
-Safe? There's nothing safe
350
00:14:04,387 --> 00:14:06,136
about snatching
a teacher's satchel,
351
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:09,140
but that's why we feel so alive.
352
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,767
(BIKE ENGINE REVVING)
353
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,395
Oh. You know my helmet size.
354
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,605
-(GRUNTS)
-Just hold on to me tight.
355
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:18,057
They don't call these
donor cycles for nothing.
356
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,819
-Tighter. Tighter still.
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
357
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:22,762
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
358
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,993
(LOCK CLICKING)
359
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,456
(PROFESSOR HIRSUTE SNORING)
360
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,334
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
The biggest number is zero.
361
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:40,630
(SNORES, GRUNTS SOFTLY)
We're the aliens.
362
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:44,592
(SNORES) Rock covers paper.
363
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,101
(SNORES)
364
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,179
Scudworth was right!
365
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,515
(SNORES) Who's there?
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
366
00:14:50,516 --> 00:14:53,350
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
-(GASPS, GRUNTS)
367
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,644
Who's there? Mom?
368
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:57,814
Pee-paw?
Bill Nye the Science Lie?
369
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,066
Scatter
like a loved one's ashes!
370
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,193
-Meet me-
-I know where to meet you.
371
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,280
(PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
372
00:15:11,142 --> 00:15:14,955
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-Oh, we made it!
373
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,874
We got the evidence
and now, we can take down
374
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,002
unconventional teaching forever.
375
00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:20,711
How'd you know
this is where I would run?
376
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:22,047
Where else would you go?
377
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,549
We started our journey
right here.
378
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,718
And tomorrow, it ends.
379
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,679
I guess, I'm just not ready
for tomorrow yet.
380
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,221
-(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-I'm sorry. I-
381
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:33,350
My hands get sweaty
when I'm nervous.
382
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,061
And my pits. (CHUCKLES)
And my underbuns.
383
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,479
And my overbuns.
384
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:41,816
But your eyes
are beautifully dry.
385
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:44,651
That's just allergies. I- I-
I have prescription eye drops.
386
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:45,987
I- I left them at home.
387
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:49,240
We should probably stop staring
into each other's eyes then.
388
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:54,329
-I know, but I can't look away.
-I can't either.
389
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,247
Your eyes are just so...
390
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,624
BOTH: Penetrating.
391
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:00,904
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
392
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,029
(UPBEAT
ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
393
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,535
(SEDUCTIVE VOICE GROANS)
394
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761
Baby.
395
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,769
That's what I like.
396
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,024
Feels so good.
397
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,781
Come on. (MOANS)
398
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,998
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
399
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,042
What did we do?
I have a boyfriend!
400
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:44,129
But does your eye
have a boyfriend?
401
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,422
I have to go.
402
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,882
-But does your eye have-
-HARRIET TUBMAN: Yes!
403
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:50,009
-(TENSE MSUIC PLAYING) ♪
-My fellow truth seekers!
404
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,470
Prepare to witness
a scientific breakthrough
405
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,140
that will forever
change the world!
406
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,933
(CROWD GASPS)
407
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:59,686
Confucius, take it away!
408
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,479
Why is Confucius on the roof?
409
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,313
I don't know.
Do you want me to come with-
410
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,275
Screw you, Joan.
411
00:17:05,276 --> 00:17:07,776
Oh, she'll learn not to talk
to you like that, Mary.
412
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,363
They'll all learn.
Time for us to strike!
413
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,324
I proved that eating magnets
is safe.
414
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,492
And now,
I'll prove that gravity
415
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,994
does not exist!
416
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,788
On my signal, Confucius!
417
00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:20,581
-Three! Two!
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
418
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:24,919
-Stop! Confucius! Don't jump!
-CROWD: Boo!
419
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,339
Ugh. He was so close
to saying one.
420
00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:28,881
I can't believe
I have to say this,
421
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,633
but gravity is real!
422
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:33,085
-Professor Hirsute is a fraud!
-(CROWD GASPS)
423
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:34,554
He's wanted in four states
424
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:36,430
and his satchel's wanted
in seven!
425
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:37,639
-(CROWD GASPING)
-(GULPS)
426
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,690
We called the feds!
427
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,686
Come on, that's as ridiculous
as a round earth!
428
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:44,397
-(CROWD LAUGHS)
-I know. What's next?
429
00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:46,273
Aliens didn't build
the pyramids?
430
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,817
Yeah, or the moon isn't flat?
431
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,569
(CROWD LAUGHS)
432
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,862
-We have the proof right here.
-(QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
433
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:54,531
That's not even my satchel!
My satchel is right here!
434
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,410
No, it's not, we switched it
with a knockoff!
435
00:17:57,494 --> 00:18:00,372
Pull one thread on that thing
and it all falls apart.
436
00:18:00,373 --> 00:18:01,705
-Just like everything...
-(GASPS)
437
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,499
-...he's taught us!
-(PROFESSOR HIRSUTE GASPING)
438
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:08,046
Admit it, Professor Hirsute!
Or should I say Hairsuit?
439
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:10,047
Professors change their name
all the time,
440
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,341
especially the women ones
when they get married!
441
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:15,387
Or did we forget
that women can be professors?
442
00:18:15,388 --> 00:18:17,846
Professor Hirsute didn't
just change his name once.
443
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,350
He changed it
over a dozen times.
444
00:18:20,351 --> 00:18:21,975
Students died
when he convinced them
445
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,727
that they could
breathe underwater!
446
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,062
-(CROWD GASPS)
-They did it wrong!
447
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,814
Others died
trying to cure measles
448
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,066
by eating crystals!
449
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,068
Uh, heard of vitamins
and minerals?
450
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,070
Crystals are literally minerals!
451
00:18:32,071 --> 00:18:34,113
And then, there was
the lethal vaccination
452
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,864
-by raccoon juice.
-(CROWD GASPING)
453
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:36,991
My raccoon!
454
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:39,034
-Confucius, don't do this!
-(GLASS SHATTERING)
455
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,286
He's dangerous!
456
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,913
No one ever said the truth
wasn't dangerous, Confucius!
457
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:44,414
It's about going with your gut.
458
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:46,543
And right now,
my gut is telling me
459
00:18:46,544 --> 00:18:48,961
that your girlfriend, Harriet
and Toussaint Louverture
460
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,922
have been having an affair.
461
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,049
-What? (LAUGHS) No way!
-(CROWD GASPS)
462
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,884
Then I guess,
I didn't see you two
463
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:56,969
gadabouting around the campus
last night!
464
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,429
-Is that true, Harriet?
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
465
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:01,016
Uh, I mean, uh, no, not-
466
00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:02,766
Uh, well-
Okay, here's the thing.
467
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,393
Yes, we did steal
the satchel together
468
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,937
but it was to save you!
469
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,440
Our eyes were
on the prize the whole time!
470
00:19:08,441 --> 00:19:10,315
They certainly
weren't on each other.
471
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,525
What would that even look like?
472
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,876
An eye consensually
on another eye? (SCOFFS)
473
00:19:13,877 --> 00:19:16,572
Confucius, if you want
to keep swallowing everything
474
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:19,451
the world spoon-feeds you,
I've got a couple guys here
475
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,536
ready to take your place
in history.
476
00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:23,287
-Oh, pick me! Pick me!
-Let me do it!
477
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,832
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
give me a second!
478
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,751
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
479
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,587
-Don't do it!
-Fly, Confucius!
480
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,590
Okay, I've made my decision-
(SCREAMS)
481
00:19:33,591 --> 00:19:35,507
-(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CROWD GASPS)
482
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,719
Save him! He's so rich!
483
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,638
He swallowed magnets.
Quick, quick, quick!
484
00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:42,014
-(SCREAMS)
-There's very little time!
485
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,016
Think, Harriet, think!
It's magnets. You know this!
486
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,310
Now is not the time to panic.
Now is the time to act.
487
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:48,438
Oh, wow!
Okay, he's halfway down.
488
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,940
We need a magnet
of the same polarity
489
00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,900
as the magnets
in Confucius' stomach
490
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,486
to fight the downward force!
491
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,446
Harriet, catch!
492
00:19:57,989 --> 00:19:59,240
(SCREAMS)
493
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,827
(SCREAMS)
494
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:07,791
-(ELECTRICITY ZAPS)
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
495
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:10,669
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-That's right! It's science!
496
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,338
From a book! And it's awesome!
497
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,924
-(METAL CLANKS)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
498
00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:21,096
You know what? I've had enough
of you pathetic little sheep!
499
00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:22,806
I'm taking back my real satchel,
500
00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:24,723
which is worth more
than your entire lives,
501
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,518
and I am outta here.
502
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,312
That's the satchel!
Do what we do best!
503
00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:31,730
-(TENSE MUSIC PALYING) ♪
-(OFFICERS GRUNT)
504
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,484
Fly, satchel! I'll come for you!
505
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:37,028
-(THUD)
-(GUNSHOTS)
506
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,912
-(MISSILES FIRE)
-No!
507
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,623
(EXPLOSION)
508
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,587
-(GUNSHOT)
-(CRIES)
509
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,716
(COUGHS, CHOKES)
510
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,077
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
511
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:01,594
Abe. JFK.
512
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:04,139
I'm speaking at a frequency
only you can hear.
513
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:06,307
Break me out of jail! (GRUNTS)
514
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:10,812
(SIREN BLARING)
515
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,481
Why did you hire that dipstick
and his purse?
516
00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:15,400
If I'm going to turn
these clones
517
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:18,361
into world leaders,
I need to weed out the bad ones.
518
00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:21,405
Anyone who follows this idiot
is clearly not leader material
519
00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,199
and deserves what they get.
520
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,411
So, you were going to let
Confucius die?
521
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,747
Better dead
than running the world.
522
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,499
Pretty smart for a woman!
(WAILS)
523
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:35,086
-(SOBS)
-Cool ear.
524
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,839
Van Gogh, thank you. I am cool,
aren't I?
525
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:41,301
So very, very cool.
So very cold.
526
00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:43,434
-(AMBULANCE SIREN BLARING)
-(CHOKES)
527
00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:46,264
(CHOKES, COUGHS)
528
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,017
(GAGS, GASPS)
529
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:53,021
So glad that guy's gone.
530
00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:56,274
I never want to care that much
about school ever again.
531
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:57,567
Me neither.
532
00:21:57,568 --> 00:21:59,818
(SCOFFS) We should've known
he was trouble.
533
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,614
Passionate male teachers
are always suspect.
534
00:22:02,615 --> 00:22:04,865
(SIGHS) I bet his chest hair
wasn't even real.
535
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:07,285
I mean, it was real hair,
but probably not his.
536
00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:09,703
(CHUCKLES) Well, I'm just glad
everyone's okay.
537
00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:12,791
We all came through
this calamity together.
538
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,751
As friends.
539
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,796
Uh, sorry, Joan.
Doesn't work like that.
540
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,527
Yeah,
don't try to horn in on this.
541
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:22,425
(SCOFFS) You tried to murder us,
like, three months ago.
542
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:25,261
-Who even does that?
-Okay.
543
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:26,888
Did you think we just forgot?
544
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,641
-I said, "Okay!" (GRUNTS)
-Keep walkin'.
545
00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,643
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
546
00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:34,437
We're gonna have to add another
butt to that.
547
00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:36,147
(ALL CHEER)
548
00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:38,149
Role call!
549
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:41,319
Nobody likes me
Not even teachers ♪
550
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:45,824
My name is Joan
the new Bleacher Creature! ♪
551
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:48,702
Thank you for saving me,
my sexy Inspector Gadget.
552
00:22:48,703 --> 00:22:50,786
I should have never doubted you
for a second.
553
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,163
I'm just glad you're okay.
554
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:55,333
How did I get so lucky to have
such an amazing girlfriend?
555
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:58,420
Uh, can you repeat the question?
556
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:00,672
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
557
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:03,967
SCUDWORTH: And now,
a funky jam about peptides.
558
00:23:03,968 --> 00:23:06,343
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa
Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪
559
00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:08,637
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa
Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪
560
00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:10,347
Peptides are short
Amino acid chains ♪
561
00:23:10,348 --> 00:23:11,849
They’re the building blocks
Of something ♪
562
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:13,017
That we call pro-teins ♪
563
00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,935
A neuropeptide activates
Inside your brain ♪
564
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,520
And it can tell you
When you’re hungry ♪
565
00:23:16,521 --> 00:23:17,771
Isn’t that insane? ♪
566
00:23:17,772 --> 00:23:20,024
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa
Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪
567
00:23:20,025 --> 00:23:22,276
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa
Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪
568
00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:24,361
Peptides are found
In every living thing ♪
569
00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:26,613
From protozoa all the way
To human beings ♪
570
00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:28,741
They’re synthesized
From sequences of DNA ♪
571
00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:30,952
So peptides are never
Gonna go away ♪
572
00:23:30,953 --> 00:23:33,203
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa
Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪
573
00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:34,371
If I was Johnny Depp ♪
574
00:23:34,372 --> 00:23:35,664
You could call me
Johnny Depptide ♪
575
00:23:35,665 --> 00:23:37,791
If I was a soda
You could call me Dr. Peptide ♪
576
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,543
If I spoke like Yoda
I might flip it ♪
577
00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:40,711
And say Tide-Pep ♪
578
00:23:40,712 --> 00:23:42,588
Say it with me now
Anyone who hasn’t tried yet ♪
579
00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,715
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa
Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪
580
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:47,051
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa
Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪
581
00:23:47,052 --> 00:23:49,053
They’re synthesized
From sequences of DNA ♪
582
00:23:49,054 --> 00:23:51,264
So peptides are never
Gonna go away ♪
583
00:23:51,314 --> 00:23:55,864
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
44830
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.